Over 50?

[haymaker]

I'm curious about this particular demographic.

[haymaker]

Re older folk: I don't expect there to be many; the mortality rate might have something to do with that !! 

Re too old to participate: I know what you are saying, entering into discussions about sexual matters with people who are young enough to be our Grandchildren often doesn't feel right.

However, I've come to the conclusion that adding our voices to this place is ok. A lot of young people are pretty clued up and they realise that getting involved in just about any online forum there are bound to be some older folk that contribute. 

It is hoped that anyone who has disengenuous or malevolent intentions will eventually make a mistake and be exposed - in fact its almost inevitable, and its happened before on SF Forums predating this one.

One good thing is that this place is very well policed: firstly by the mods and secondly by all of of us who care about the high ethical standards that have been set. Personally it makes me very proud to know that I'm part of something that's run so well.

 

 

Edited January 10, 2018 by haymaker

[Chanel_no5]

On ‎2018‎-‎01‎-‎05 at 10:05 PM, haymaker said:

However, I've come to the conclusion that adding our voices to this place is ok

Please do. The scale is tipped so far in favour of the younger members that you start to feel like you're about ready for retirement from here once you're past 30. Besides, if there are no (or extremely few and far between) representations of "older" people who are around without nefarious purposes, people will think "older = predator" and freak out every time someone above 40 posts. To an extent that has already happened I think, and that's not good in any demographic. If we are serious about the whole "community thing", that is, and I know I am. I keep hoping more people of a seasoned age will sign up and balance things a bit, but if I were and only saw teens and people in their 20s being active, I probably wouldn't feel comfortable signing up either. 

And yup, I'm just in my 30s, so I don't even belong in this thread to begin with, but I wanted to say that personally, I want to see more balance. If we could get some members that are female or non-binary over 40-50 as well, that'd be great.   

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

35 minutes ago, Chanel_no5 said:

Please do. The scale is tipped so far in favour of the younger members that you start to feel like you're about ready for retirement from here once you're past 30. Besides, if there are no (or extremely few and far between) representations of "older" people who are around without nefarious purposes, people will think "older = predator" and freak out every time someone above 40 posts. To an extent that has already happened I think, and that's not good in any demographic. If we are serious about the whole "community thing", that is, and I know I am. I keep hoping more people of a seasoned age will sign up and balance things a bit, but if I were and only saw teens and people in their 20s being active, I probably wouldn't feel comfortable signing up either. 

And yup, I'm just in my 30s, so I don't even belong in this thread to begin with, but I wanted to say that personally, I want to see more balance. If we could get some members that are female or non-binary over 40-50 as well, that'd be great.   

You summed up everything that Ive felt here for the last year and much better than I could have. I'm not 50, not even close but this whole anyone posting that's over 40 automatically equals deviant means is getting old.

.....god I feel like I just summoned @Joal 555 with that pun

 

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

I agree with everything Kaze said...including the comment about Joal's sense of humor!  

Edited January 7, 2018 by MyOwnPrivateSFC

[Hedgehog]

Can I chime in here and tell that I'd be happy to read a lot of more posts from older members? I wouldn't feel so excluded anymore... I agree to everything @Kaze wo Hiku and @Chanel have said. Thank you @haymaker for opening this topic! (Why can I only tag one person in a post? It's not the first time this happens to me...)

[Joal 555]

10 hours ago, Kaze wo Hiku said:

.....god I feel like I just summoned @Joal 555 with that pun

*appears with a pun of smoke*

Speaking as someone who joined the forum in his 40s and is now in his 50s, I do feel that there are occasions when it feels like there is some (conscious, or perhaps only sub-conscious) ageism in comments that are posted on the forum.

I have had the fetish all my life. It's not something I chose to have and having had it throughout my younger days, I expect I will have it throughout my older days. There is a good chance that the same will apply with many (if not all) other members as they get older.

It should therefore come as no surprise that if I think someone in their (say) 20s is attractive, I am also likely to be attracted by their sneeze. Whilst I may also be attracted to a sneeze from someone in their (say) 50s, I hope that most (if not all) would agree that I shouldn't only like sneezes from people of my own age group.

Having said that, I am conscious of people's perceptions and that sometimes makes me anxious about posting in certain threads, which means that there are plenty of occasions when I choose not to (for better or for worse).

 

 

 

 

[Bondi]

1 hour ago, rhinoceros said:

How old is this forum now? What was the age distribution like in the early days? What happens as members grow older - do they mostly stay or do they tend to drift away? And if so around what age?

This forum has been around since 2002, but before that we had other forums come and go. When I first started posting in 2001 at the age of almost 20, the general age range of the community was probably around 18 to about mid- to late-thirties. We had a few minors here and there, but it wasn't like it is now. Things have, of course, changed since then.

Obviously, people can have private, one-on-one conversations with whoever they want based on their own comfort levels, there's no need to exclude people over a certain age from participating in this forum. There have been bad members from every age group, so excluding the over 40 or over 50 because of it seems unfair. They have their own valuable input in things.

Hope this message makes sense. I haven't been feeling too well lately.

 

[allergyboy2001]

A lot of well-said comments above, just a few thoughts/questions to throw out there.

There is always going to be discomfort about intergenerational contact, if it has any one-on-one sexual overtones. It's just a fact of life, people will make judgments and comments. They do it all the time in general society and the forum is just a subset of society.

There seem to be several ways to avoid most criticism. One is sticking to commenting on general topics, "this is my experience/this is what I think about sneeze-related topics," and more controversially, to making reassuring comments like "it gets better" (to people who are panicking). But staying away from sexual comments like "your sneeze is so hot" if there's a big age gap. 

All this would be a lot easier if there were more people in their 30s/40s/50s and on up participating in this community, interacting with each other and having a vibrant community of mature adults. But it seems like a lot of people who used to participate no longer do so and they haven't been replaced. Why is this? Can anything be done to get more mature people involved? (And since sex hasn't gone away, where are mature people with these interests going to get some interaction if they aren't on this forum?)

My second observation is about incentives. I find myself posting sometimes on topics with an age gap, not just because that's all there is, but simply because I want the "points". Maybe it is just me, but it has always been very frustrating to me that a person has to have a huge number of meaningful posts before even being considered for "full membership." Sometimes mature people in particular want a sense of belonging in our very youth-oriented society, just a little recognition. But the way the incentives are set up, one either comments on the posts that are available even if sometimes the original poster is younger, to build up points, or one is being told "you do not *fully* belong and probably never will" and so one feels one might as well go away. I would suggest a system where if one is a long-time member above a certain age, and at least occasionally active, that this be an additional way to get full membership.

i know people leave the forum for many reasons, but at least one reason might be that mature people are less likely to post often (we have lives), so we will always remain second-class citizens in a technical but real sense, and one's membership status is listed openly right in one's public profile so one is reminded of it all the time. I imagine all of you on the full-membership bus are having constant parties, and someday I'd like to ride that bus. :-) But if we want to cut down on age-gap posting, revising this incentive system might help at least a little, by making mature people feel recognized.

Edited January 7, 2018 by allergyboy2001

[Chanel_no5]

1 hour ago, allergyboy2001 said:

I imagine all of you on the full-membership bus are having constant parties, and someday I'd like to ride that bus. :-)

I get that people want to get to the PM function and get access to adult board, but you have that at "Member" status, don't you? If you aren't planning on participating and contributing more either way, why do you want a higher status? "Full Membership" gives an increase in PM box storage space and access to the mostly dead Lounge, but that's basically it, I think. No parties. It's more like a symbolic reward for contribution, that has nothing to do with age.

[Joal 555]

1 hour ago, allergyboy2001 said:

I would suggest a system where if one is a long-time member above a certain age, and at least occasionally active, that this be an additional way to get full membership.

Just for information, this is already the current position, as a while back, the staff altered the qualification criteria, such that members with less than 2,000 posts, but a minimum of 5 years membership are also eligible for consideration.

"Full Member - this will be granted at the discretion of the staff and members with a minimum of 2,000 Posts OR a minimum of 5 years as a member are eligible for consideration"

The above criteria can be found in the membership levels post.

 

 

[PuddinPop]

6 minutes ago, Joal 555 said:

Just for information, this is already the current position, as a while back, the staff altered the qualification criteria, such that members with less than 2,000 posts, but a minimum of 5 years membership are also eligible for consideration.

"Full Member - this will be granted at the discretion of the staff and members with a minimum of 2,000 Posts OR a minimum of 5 years as a member are eligible for consideration"

The above criteria can be found in the membership levels post.

Ah, Joal, your Staff-hat may have been hung up, but you continue to be as helpful as ever thank you for this

[Hajo]

Well, I´m 52. (and this is the truth  ;-)

I´m not sure if everyone is honest here if he /she  gives others his age here (I think you must update your age by yourrself in your profile, but not sure.)

 

 

 

 

[tma]

Gonna be 43 in just days, and to be honest, I generally don't feel like I belong anymore.

That isn't on anyone else, that is my own issues, but yeah... I have just sort of reverted to just general lurking

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

*glomps tma* You will always belong here to me.

(Wait...I don't think that came out right...or did it?! )

[RB]

Wait, what? I’m over 50 and one of the first members to join here. I’ll never get to 2000 posts but also had no clue I was less than a “full member”. That being said, I’ve never thought I’m missing something or being excluded from anything. Maybe it’s my feebleness from being so old, but I’m pretty sure there’s nothing here I need that I can’t get to. If someone is being slighted for their age, deal with the person directly. It’s just a website people. 

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

Give me a year and 8 days and I'll be in the 50+ category. I found the forum late in life, so to speak. I spend less time here than I used to not because of any age issue directly. I just find the majority of the posts these days don't appeal. I'm not one who watches a lot of TV or gets to the movies often so the fan fiction area is not a draw most of the time. The original fiction is often geared toward younger members, as are the obs, imo. So, I stick my head in and post some Mystrade (hey, look a mature couple), occasionally an original fic and see if any of my favorite writers have posted lately. (Generally speaking, no they haven't.) C'est la vie.

[Clark Kent]

I first participated in the various forums in 1997/98 when i was 19 - i'm now 40. There is no doubt at all that the posts are weighted by those lucky enough to be young and beautiful rather than older and still beautiful although creaking slightly

I've held off posting a lot more consciously recently depending on the age of the poster even if i'm not sure it is absolutely necessary. It is just mostly a discussion of a common interest but, people see things differently away from my innocent eyes and judge on how things look so sometimes it is best to just read and post when appropriate. 

The chat room used to bring out a lot of personalities that could engage friendships easier than replying to a post about a specific topic but as mentioned above, this is a fetish i have had for my almost my entire living memory and i expect that to continue for as long as my memory can stay intact. 

I'd suggest it was normal for a new gen to discover this site and be able to embrace the fetish in an easier way than when i and certainly those here who have a few more years on me could initially and they will dominate the boards a little more.

Having said that you're only as old as you feel..... this is not good news  

 

[Rhomberg Rabbit]

On ‎1‎/‎7‎/‎2018 at 9:03 AM, allergyboy2001 said:

A lot of well-said comments above, just a few thoughts/questions to throw out there.

There is always going to be discomfort about intergenerational contact, if it has any one-on-one sexual overtones. It's just a fact of life, people will make judgments and comments. They do it all the time in general society and the forum is just a subset of society.

There seem to be several ways to avoid most criticism. One is sticking to commenting on general topics, "this is my experience/this is what I think about sneeze-related topics," and more controversially, to making reassuring comments like "it gets better" (to people who are panicking). But staying away from sexual comments like "your sneeze is so hot" if there's a big age gap. 

 

I learned this the hard way. 

[NYCgirl]

I might be biased here because I happen to be attracted to older men, but I very much think you DO belong in this conversation.  

[Lauren]

Hi -- I just read this whole thread and just a suggestion but what about an *additional* adult board that is only for older adults? Like maybe 40 and older? (and they could stay on the regular adult board too)

You can all see my age and obviously this would not be my demographic, but just from reading what people have said, maybe it would be a good thing for the community! So people who don't feel like their opinions and experiences are as relevant to the main boards (though of course they are so welcome!) might feel less self-conscious posting on the older adult board. 

[RB]

I don’t think a whole other board is needed. I don’t feel stifled (no pun intended) or excluded from anything here. If I don’t understand a particular reference in a thead because it’s not my demographic, I just ignore it and move on. Now that the underage issue has been addressed (thank goodness btw - I always felt uncomfortable that they were exposed to things they shouldn’t be), there’s no benefit to further segregating us. 

[snzmn2016]

This is why I wish we would let newbies see profiles, I am fifty and want to be able to talk with age appropriate people, but have no idea how old anyone is.

[Reader]

9 hours ago, snzmn2016 said:

This is why I wish we would let newbies see profiles, I am fifty and want to be able to talk with age appropriate people, but have no idea how old anyone is.

Are you only using your phone? On the computer, you should be able to see everyone’s username and the age of the people who want to list it. 

And since I’ve commented on here, I’ll just add in that older forum members are more than welcome, meaning the abscence would be greatly noticed and missed if you decided to leave or lurk and we are less of a complete forum for the ones who have already done so. 

[snzmn2016]

Thank you for your input