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Sick Best Friend (F, Long)


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Warning, this is far longer than necessary because I have no self-control.


So, my best friend is sick and the most adorable damn thing in the entire world. I am going to ramble because we've been apart way too long and I was dying, so feel free to scroll through to get to the actually important shit.

There are several parts to this, because quite frankly, I'm too lazy to document the entire day even though it deserves it.

I have written about her once before, in this thread, but if you don't want to go there, I'll just copy the description I posted there.


"She is 5'1", around 90lb, really long blonde hair, bigger than average nose, and she is cute as heck, though I may be biased. She's one of those rapid-fire multiple sneezers, and one of those people who (try to) say they're going to sneeze before the actual fact happens."


I've been at home the last few weeks while she's been in Pennsylvania with her husband, and he's looking after her while updating me on the situation because he is fully aware of my fetish and ridiculously unhealthy crush on her, which has been great, but we both went to New York for an event a couple of days ago and I got to witness it unfold in person.

For an extra bit of background, she's also one of those people who tries so hard to tough everything out and not whine or complain no matter what's going on, but when she gets sick, that entire façade just falls to pieces.

They drove while I flew, and my flight arrived two hours after they'd gotten there and her husband picked me up at the airport. She's always, always there when we're reunited and never misses it, so naturally, I got curious and asked where she was. Her husband then informed me that she was waiting in the car because she was freezing. Get to the car and she's in the back seat under a thick ass blanket, all pale-faced and red-nosed and generally just cute as hell, tissue box on her lap. We do our usual clingy routine that occurs whenever we're separated for longer than twelve hours.

Fast forward to the hotel, it's pretty late by this point but I'm all messed up from the flight and she doesn't want to go to sleep, which means her husband flat out refuses to go to sleep, so we put a movie on.

About ten minutes in, she starts getting sniffly. Her husband offers her the tissue box and she insists she's okay. He just smirks and puts it on the couch between them. Another couple of minutes pass and I hear her quietly say, "Oh God," and her breath starts hitching. She always has a really obvious, animated pre-sneeze expression–nose twitching, eyes narrowed, mouth open, then starts sneezing, stifling in the beginning like always. That goes as far as the first four, then she takes in a really desperate-sounding breath and lets the next five come out unrestrained, all into her hands.

I am still awful at spelling, but I'll try because I now have a slightly firmer grip on how it should be spelled, with a little bit of her husband's input.

"HhKTSHh–TSsHh!! HhNGXSChh–NGxSHh!! IiGH'kSsHhiew!! GhKsHHh'iew!! EhGHKShiew!! IiGHKsHheiw!!! HhkTSCHh'uh!!!"

Both her husband and I say bless you and he holds out a bunch of tissues, which she accepts this time and mumbles an apology before blowing her nose.

She attempts to keep watching the movie, but after another three sneezing fits, she gave up and decided to go lie down and try to sleep, which meant her husband also went (I swear they're surgically attached) and I was left alone to melt.

Second part comes during the afternoon the next day. I slept through God knows how much amazing material because of jetlag, but by now, her mother-in-law has arrived. The three of us are all in the living room waiting for her husband to get dressed for lunch, just chatting when she gets the dazed expression on her face again. Now, her mother-in-law knows her well enough to know what it means as well and trails off, waiting. Ten seconds of hitching breaths again and off she goes without bothering to try stifling at all this time, which means her whole body moves with the force and she kind of doubles over on herself. MIL laughs and says, "Jesus, bless you. Few more of those and you won't even need to bother going to the gym this week," and she blushes and mutters something I couldn't understand.

And last but not least, this part happens at around eight that night. She's been fluctuating between shivering and burning up for about an hour and is clearly exhausted. She's curled up against her husband, face buried in his shirt while he plays with her hair and does what he can to comfort her. Her breathing catches and she tries to pull back, but he wouldn't let her. She stammered out, "Let me go, I have to sneeze," and he just said, "Then sneeze," and kept her cuddled up against him. She tried to protest again, but couldn't get the words out, so she ended up sneezing straight into his chest. Not just one round either. The first fit finished after eight in a row and she groaned and relaxed while he rubbed her back, then about a minute later, she had another one. Took twelve sneezes before it finished this time, and her husband just quietly blessed her and returned to comforting her.

They are my absolute favorite people ever, they're so damned cute.

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