About caretaking

[doggo]

So, to those of us who enjoy caretaking and caretaking scenarios - do you enjoy taking care of another person who is sick, or being taken care of yourself, or both? If both, is there a preference?

[doggo]

This is quite interesting to me for personal reasons. I have my whole life fantasized about taking care of a man who's sick with a cold, and the idea of being taken care of has been mostly terrible to me. But back in the day when I was in a loving, trusting relationship where I felt safe & loved, the need to be taken care of somehow just appeared almost like from beneath the fetish for taking care of a man myself. I found it immensely more powerful and enjoyable. But after the relationship was cut short, that ability to enjoy being taken care of disappeared. I have came to think that perhaps deep down inside what I really long for is being taken care of, but there are just so many layers of inhibition and fear and mistrust on top of it that it takes very special circumstances for it to appear.

[Selene]

If we're talking real life, I don't like when people fuss over me, so I definitely prefer being the caretaker. If we're talking stories, RPs and other fictional scenarios, I love both and also enjoy playing both in a RP.

I have thought about why I don't like being fussed over when being sick and it was very interesting to me to hear about your experience, doggo. Vulnerability and the idea of someone protecting this vulnerability is an important part of these care taking scenarios for me and I guess that showing this vulnerability in real life, knowing that it is connected to the fetish, which is an equally well-guarded part of myself, makes it so difficult to allow another person to see me in this way. This would also explain why I like the being-taken-care-of part in fiction, because fiction is one step removed from reality and allows to have the emotional experience while not having to open up in front of another real-lief human being, thus risking rejection or other negative responses.

I still haven't figured out if that really is all there is to it, though. It feels like a complex, multi-layered issue, and since I haven't even pinned down all my fetish preferences to 100% it is very likely that I am only able to see a tiny piece of the whole picture at the moment.

[Travel]

Both, although with the preference of someone else being sick instead of the other way around. I just like the feeling of trying to make someone feel better and actually them feeling better later on. When it comes to me, I definitely like feeling pampered but at the same time, I'd rather be left alone. But if I have to interact with someone, it's better if they try to help me feel better or try to get my mind off anything negative. That said, in real life, I'd prefer if neither of us got sick haha. I feel a billion times more comfortable with my caretaking kink when it's within a fictional context. I don't like it when other people feel bad so I don't them getting sick for real, but if they do, then I'm more than happy to see how I can help. 

[Chanel_no5]

Okay, I'm sorry because this is going to be long and rambling, but bear with me…

I don't like caretaking. I don't want people anywhere near me when I'm sick, and I don't want to be anywhere near a sick person. I've always been the same when it comes to fetish fiction. I want the H in H/C, but you can drop the C altogether. Actually, I don't like illness in fetish fics either. Well. I eased up a little bit on that a while ago, but it was still firm: "light" colds, only symptoms from the nose (that is, no coughing/sore throat), and not the really messy ones. A fever in addition to sniffling and sneezing was alright, but other cold symptoms and I was out the door faster than you could say "realistic cold".  

Fast forward to spring of 2018. I watched and enjoyed the HBO show Westworld. Predictably developed a crush on the strict, middle-aged, boss lady character. Nothing surprising so far. Until I did what we do when we get character crushes; I imagined fetishy scenarios, and realised that not only was I alright with her having a cold, that was what I craved. And not just a light, clean "sneezing only"-cold which I would use in the same way I've used allergies on the strict boss lady characters all the time; by having her thoroughly embarrassed and miserable. No. I found myself desperate for this lady absolutely wretched with a fever-spiking, sneezy, drippy, blocked-up, tickly, doozy of a cold. Mess? Hell yeah. Coughing? Have at it. (This? This is shaking my very foundations, because normally, coughing isn't part of my fetish, but a phobia of mine.) Uncovered sneezing? Damn right. But embarrassed about it? Nope. I had a fetish identity crisis, but eventually decided to just roll with it. If I liked it, what the hell, it's in. Sure felt strange, but, whatever. 

And at the same time, I realised that caretaking had snuck into the scenarios as well. Serious caretaking and fluff and cuddles and God knows what else. And this came in without me even noticing at first, then I realised that I wanted it. Only with this character and her lover, but in that case I really, really wanted it. 

So that had me thinking. I still don't know why things that doesn't work for me with others work in this particular instance, but when it comes to the caretaking part my theory is similar to yours. I wonder if this is a suppressed need I have myself, maybe not necessarily to take care of or being taken care of in a fetish-related scenario, but a longing for a relationship where I don't feel like I have to keep my guard up at all times. My therapist would probably say so, but I'm not going to tell him about the fetish so that's a discussion we'll never have.   But yeah. Something to do with a suppressed yearning for trust and intimacy of a non-sexual nature. I'm terrified of romantic relationships and would rather not take a chance on it at all than risk rejection, because I've been rejected enough in my life already, but I do think this sudden need for caretaking, albeit limited, is a thinly veiled cry for a loving, trusting relationship where I can be vulnerable without being rejected, and where I'm allowed to approach a vulnerable person without being rejected, too. It's more about the trust than the scenarios, you know?

So, in conclusion, yes, I think there might very well be something to what you're describing. We humans are weird, aren't we? Weaving so many layers of vague hints around our needs that we don't even know what we're looking for ourselves and have to find out via a fetish?  

[bloom]

In theory I like caretaking and being taken care of, but it's a bit complicated for me!

I have a chronic illness that sometimes flares up and makes me very sick, and I have an ex who used to "take care" of me during those times, only he was extremely manipulative and guilt-trippy and pretty much abusive about it, acting like he was the most put-upon person in the world because my illness was so inconvenient to him. It was pretty traumatizing and consequentially I have a lot of guilt surrounding not only my fibromyalgia, but also any other time I happen to get sick. But I do have the desire to be taken care of -- it's taken a lot for me to open up and show that vulnerable part of myself to a partner, but it's happened (long distance, so there's only so much he can do, but the intent is there). There's always an underlying desire to be taken care of for me because I've been robbed of that opportunity before, and I love being fussed over when it's my romantic partner. 

I also love caretaking, and it drives me up a wall that I can't do it for my boyfriend right now. And it's not just colds or the like, it's everything -- I want to fuss and cook meals and drag him to bed when he hasn't slept enough, etc.... Not in an overbearing way, but I've always wanted to be able to nurture someone properly like that, I would just find it so fulfilling. That bit isn't quite sexual for me, just extremely intimate, but when it comes to colds or whatever.......... I am in fact cranking my hog in addition.  

Good thread, doggo!

[Travel]

Chanel - Your post made me want to point something that I think I may have mentioned before in the forum. But in my case, not only does the caretaking work better for me if it's a fictional scenario. It also works better if it's something non-contagious and easily solvable like allergies or a headache or motion sickness. 

I have also wondered if I've been in a similar space like yours; I have always craved a romantic relationship but I think that my anxiety and overall lack of self-knowledge often leaves me sabotaging that. It's something that I've put a ton of effort into outgrowing, but I think that the idea of having that trust with someone, that kind of caring attitude is part of what has fueled that kink or why it makes me happy. I kept avoiding relationships or sabotaging them because I was afraid of getting hurt, yet at the same time, I wanted to have the perks of them without really paying for them, so to speak. There's also other stuff going on, I'm sure, but I think that's a situation that we share when it comes to this. 

[Dusty15]

I don't mind being taken care of, but the idea of taking care of someone else is significantly more appealing. Someone taking care of me has no sexually/fetish charged feelings (unless the caretaker was also a fetishist, in which case I might get more excited about it knowing their reasons) but taking care of someone else is definitely exciting to me. 

[doggo]

Thank you everyone for the responses! This is really an interesting read.

 

53 minutes ago, Chanel_no5 said:

wretched with a fever-spiking, sneezy, drippy, blocked-up, tickly, doozy of a cold.

Ahm. Did it just get hot in here?
 

53 minutes ago, Chanel_no5 said:

longing for a relationship where I don't feel like I have to keep my guard up at all times. My therapist would probably say so, but I'm not going to tell him about the fetish so that's a discussion we'll never have.   But yeah. Something to do with a suppressed yearning for trust and intimacy of a non-sexual nature.

 

53 minutes ago, Chanel_no5 said:

It's more about the trust than the scenarios, you know?

YES YES OMG FUCKING YES!!!! Pardom my french but this is just so important to me.

You know I have a very long, intense, good relationship with my therapist, but I still couldn't talk about the fetish except in very roundabout ways. And there's one thing that stuck with me... you know that terrible thing that many of us have: like an evil twin of the fetish that is anger. That things similar to those that can trigger a sexual response can sometimes trigger intense, almost uncontrollable anger. I remember my shrink once asking me if I have been subjected to such anger myself when sick. And goodness knows I have! I had a parent who reacted to me ailing with either making fun of me and humiliating me or anger. For example I remember being a small kid and running a fever and my mother yelling at me red in the face to stop whining and clean my room NOW. And a lot, a lot of other things. I learned from very young age to hide vulnerability. I was barely 7 when I cried publicly for the last time and then just stopped. Etc etc.

So as an adult, I find myself reacting in three separate ways at least to vulnerability: 1) he is vulnerable and he is embarrassed/feels humiliated by it: I am in control. It's not me who is being humiliated. It's him. I am in control. 2) he is vulnerable and I take care of him: the equally freudian "I am like my mother except better". I won't humiliate him, I will be caring, I will let him be vulnerable. And then the 3rd one which is simply letting my own guard down. Which is so frigging scary and terrible and terrifying that it very, very rarely happens. I can barely even fantasize about that - only sometimes when I'm somehow feeling really secure inside my head. And I think it's telling that I have no problem with for example talking about being under the weather to other fetishist, because there's the sexual connotation there so I don't need to be able to trust them because we get our jollies out of this stuff.

[facet]

.

[doggo]

You know one thing is too that the sort of caretaking that pushes my fetish-buttons has nothing to do with actually making anyone better. It's that superfluous stuff. I mean, both my parents come from the medical field, and illness was alwas treated accordingly - on the other hand, "medical attention" was always a tool of control and invading privacy / bodily autonomy. On the other hand, the superfluous parts of caretaking that have no medical significance were outright rejected as useless and possibly dangerous. Who would hug a sick person, that's risking contagion! Now everyone wash their hands and let the sick be quarantined, this is the sensible way. So it is definitely the play of vulnerability, intimacy and trust what I mean when I say "caretaking" - not the practical angle of actually helping someone.

[Travel]

9 minutes ago, doggo said:

You know one thing is too that the sort of caretaking that pushes my fetish-buttons has nothing to do with actually making anyone better. It's that superfluous stuff. I mean, both my parents come from the medical field, and illness was alwas treated accordingly - on the other hand, "medical attention" was always a tool of control and invading privacy / bodily autonomy. On the other hand, the superfluous parts of caretaking that have no medical significance were outright rejected as useless and possibly dangerous. Who would hug a sick person, that's risking contagion! Now everyone wash their hands and let the sick be quarantined, this is the sensible way. So it is definitely the play of vulnerability, intimacy and trust what I mean when I say "caretaking" - not the practical angle of actually helping someone.

Again, I think I'm kind of on the same boat. In my case, especially since it's often in fictional scenarios, I always hope that my SO and I work together to find a way to "spice up" the scenario in more traditional ways. Add to that the play of vulnerability, intimacy and trust and then kaboom! 🤣

[doggo]

11 minutes ago, Travel said:

Again, I think I'm kind of on the same boat. In my case, especially since it's often in fictional scenarios, I always hope that my SO and I work together to find a way to "spice up" the scenario in more traditional ways. Add to that the play of vulnerability, intimacy and trust and then kaboom! 🤣

You know, I have sometimes thought about that. But I don't think I could ever trust anyone enough for something like this.

But yeah, on some level, I would assume the "useless" caring is still very important to humans. A need to feel that you're not abandoned by your community or family or whoever is closest to you even if you're ailing and possibly contagious. A need to feel safe and able to trust the help of others when more vulnerable than usual. The need to be loved even when we are trouble. Leave that out and you risk ending up with people as messed in the head as me.

 

[doggo]

BTW, this is all very timely too as robotics are discussed in relation to care. A part of me is YES YES YES CARE ROBOTS THAT IS THE BEST because for someone who has obsessively avoided being a burden to others and associates medical attention strongly with some sort of violation, a care robot would be a godsend when I'm too old to care for myself (if I ever get there). But many people find the idea terrifying.

The fetish-response triggering caretaking is like the polar opposite of a care robot. Potentially a lot less useful, but all about it being ok to be a burden.

[Selene]

The nice thing about the intimate nature and trust connected with caretaking is that you are not a burden. Jejune described it beautifully: nurture someone. Gain happiness by seeing someone else grow and flourish. Doing these little useless things because they provide that warm feeling of being loved to someone else. That's what two souls connects to each other.

That's also what I find uncanny about caring robots. Yes, they perform the task, but they will only do what has been deemed useful by whatever person who programmed them. They lack the soul. They don't care who they are taking care of. I see how they are better than nothing, but still... uncanny valley xD

[doggo]

Well that's the thing, I'd rather trust a robot than a human because the robot just works, but the human can find me a burden, or hate their job, or dislike me for whatever reason etc.

[Chanel_no5]

1 hour ago, doggo said:

Ahm. Did it just get hot in here?

 

1 hour ago, doggo said:

And there's one thing that stuck with me... you know that terrible thing that many of us have: like an evil twin of the fetish that is anger. That things similar to those that can trigger a sexual response can sometimes trigger intense, almost uncontrollable anger. I remember my shrink once asking me if I have been subjected to such anger myself when sick. And goodness knows I have! I had a parent who reacted to me ailing with either making fun of me and humiliating me or anger. For example I remember being a small kid and running a fever and my mother yelling at me red in the face to stop whining and clean my room NOW. And a lot, a lot of other things. I learned from very young age to hide vulnerability.

Ugh, God yes, the anger. It's almost as if it's not you, it's more like something else is taking over. Sheer fury. I get that mostly with family members. I can NOT help it. I KNOW it's not their fault they're sick/sneezing, and I do feel sorry for them, but it makes me furious. I never thought about it because I'm mostly angry when people make noises and if they're contagious, so I've rationalised it as misophonia and germ phobia. That's the official explanation I've given family members, and they accept it. I think it's partly true, even.   But it's made worse thanks to the fetish, because then there's an unwanted sexual component in the whole mess as well. It's disgusting when family members sneeze, period.  

However, now that you mention that being subjected to such anger, that's true for me as well. Not when sick, I was properly looked after and pampered when I was sick as a kid. Not overbearingly so, but, I'd say normally. Nothing that would warrant either extreme reaction to it nowadays. 

HOWEVER. Any other vulnerability got an angry response. I was afraid of almost everything (still am), I got sad from the tiniest things, and I cried a lot. Both mom and dad used to yell at me to stop being a crybaby, and to stop being so oversensitive, and it happened every time I reacted to pretty much ANYTHING. If I cried for what they deemed "no reason" - which was a situation that I experienced as terrifying and overwhelming - they would either laugh it off and ignore me ("go wipe your tears and put on a smile again, like a big girl"), or they would yell at me, and I would cry more because I got scared of THEM, and they'd keep yelling at me until I had cried myself so exhausted I basically passed out. And then they would force me to apologise for misbehaving/making a scene/overreacting. 

I hadn't even thought about that before you mentioned it. But now it kinda makes sense. I too shut down around the same age and I did it so well I didn't cry for a decade. Nowadays I know I have the highly sensitive personality trait, so I actually do experience things much stronger than for example my parents did/do. But thanks to that approach I'm a royally fucked-up individual, and if anyone reaches out to offer comfort I'm more likely to lash out and withdraw than to accept it, even though what I really want deep down is to walk straight into someone's embrace and just stay there. But I can't trust anyone to actually want to give that to me. Even if they offer it, I'm sure they will regret it if I take them up on it and they will find me weak, pathetic and repulsive. 

Hm. Things do start to fall into place here.  

 

36 minutes ago, doggo said:

BTW, this is all very timely too as robotics are discussed in relation to care. A part of me is YES YES YES CARE ROBOTS THAT IS THE BEST

  I'm sorry, but this ironically corresponds insanely well with the characters I mentioned earlier, so I laughed and somehow managed to give myself the hiccups. Dumb side note, but I thought it was funny. 

 

[starsoup]

This is a complicated question and one I would never discuss in real life so interesting to explore anonymously.  

I hate being cared for.  Luckily, I have a hardy immune system and when it fails, it fails mildly and the only challenge is in hiding my own weaknesses.  I do remember as a kid going to school horribly sick because the thought of anyone in my family knowing I was sick filled me shame.  Later I realized that care taking is connected to my arousal button and who wants that button anywhere near ones parent or siblings.  Yuck.  So that explains why I was so weird about it.  My mother still mentions how I never got sick as a kid and I always blush like a teenager and get filled with rage when she won't change the subject.  

All of your answers to this question are so vulnerable, honest and sweet.  I always feel weird about giving away any personal stories in fear that someone I know might read them but as the world is a very self involved place, no one cares enough to track me down here so I'm gonna go out on a limb here and share some personal stories.  I mean I've been lurking around here for like 10 years and I imagine the person I share my life with probably spends a lot of time googling "teenage Japanese wet t-shirts" in his incognito browser, so whatever, to each his own private weirdness.  

When I was in college and was in my first serious and intense relationship I got pneumonia, which was totally weird and random and has never happened to me again.  I was seriously desperate for my boyfriend to take care of me.  I mean a sobbing ball of pathetic desperate.  It was also the sickest I have ever been and he thought it was nuts that I wouldn't call my parents and have them come pick me up.  I was totally wacked out and irrational from having a really high fever that I got furious at him for even suggesting my parents were alerted.  He was the first person in my whole life that I ever felt comfortable enough with to be that vulnerable around.  I got so mad at him that I threw a bottle of cough medicine at him and it stained his dorm room wall pink for the rest of the year, then I ended up driving myself to the emergency room in the ice and rain.  I was so sick that I clearly remember crying so hard I was shaking and hallucinating that I was steering through a tunnel of Christmas lights.   They gave me really strong antibiotics and I holed up alone, took care of myself and made him swear not to ever mention it to anyone.  He thought I was embarrassed about acting so violently, which I was, but mostly I was embarrassed for having been sick at all.  The whole thing was extraordinarily humiliating and I can't believe I just relived it on the internet.  

Now taking care of another person is a completely different complicated nightmare.  First of all, I have very particular taste in men.  I so completely understand the concept of "born that way" because I was born utterly straight and into very masculine guys.  The whole woke world of men in buns and textile arts just doesn't do it for me unless they are axe swinging fire wood choppers tending the land.  So starting with my very first boyfriend I've kind of run the variety of skateboarders, bikers, and grafitti artists, which makes me sound way cooler than I actually am if you don't take into account that all skateboarders, bikers and graffitti artists don't all look like Heath Ledger and in full disclosure I never did actually have a biker boyfriend but a girl can dream on the internet.   My most favorite skateboarder boyfriend had terrible acne and regularly set his farts on fire, but boy did I love taking care of him when he'd get all banged up and his hips would swell and I'd make him ice packs and do racy things to make him feel better and keep him wanting me around.  He was so cute when he moaned.  Ok, that was a long time ago.

Illness, which is my real weakness, is a whole other story and I have not had great luck with that which sucks cause that is the thing that really gets me hot.  I went through this faze when I got my first real career kind of job, where I was like, I'm just gonna date normal guys.  You know, a guy who's saving for a house and who might take me out to dinner at a restaurant and not expect me to be impressed by drink tickets at the dive bar their roommate was playin at.  

Well I did.  I started going out with a guy who wore polo shirts and baseball hats and was legitimately in a frat in college.  He actually paid for dinner and loved that I was more adventurous in bed than him.  I almost moved in with him.  His family went to the same cottage every summer and we went to visit.  One night while we were sitting around with his family, doing a puzzle none the less.  He announced to the whole room that he felt like he was coming down with a cold and then started relaying his symptoms in real time.  Oh my throat is scratchy, now it hurts, oh i feel achy, oh ah-choo.  This literally felt like he was undressing me right in front of his mother.  That's about how sexy it was.  And this was my VERY first experience with a sick boyfriend.  The thing I had been waiting for my whoooole life!!  He was such a wuss.  The next day he was slightly feverish.  I mean ever so slightly.  His mom served him tea in bed and I am the girl who broke up with him as soon as we got back.  I know this does not make me a likable character but we were not right for each other AND this was a long time ago.  

Now with a good ten long years between me and my first boyfriend cold, here is what I learned.  Men fall into two categories when they are sick; either they are babies or they are jerks.  Sometimes they are baby jerks.  The reality of the situation never truly lives up to the fantasy, but when I am in love, there will be tiny little moments where he will act just perfect and act just the right amount of clingy, or say something cute with a stuffy voice, or look up at me with big eyes and ask me to feel his forehead and I'll forgive the jerky baby and it is all worth while.  And in the gazillion minutes that come between tiny moments of real life cute sick, because for me they are very very rare, well, there is always sicfics.  

To answer your question.  Yes, under the right circumstances, real life care taking is absolutely the best, but none of it will ever live up to my fantasy of the perfect masculine display of vulnerability.  Inevitably, my real life human will end up mentioning his mom and then, you know, silent rage.

 

 

[doggo]

7 hours ago, starsoup said:

When I was in college and was in my first serious and intense relationship I got pneumonia, which was totally weird and random and has never happened to me again.  I was seriously desperate for my boyfriend to take care of me.  I mean a sobbing ball of pathetic desperate.  It was also the sickest I have ever been and he thought it was nuts that I wouldn't call my parents and have them come pick me up.  I was totally wacked out and irrational from having a really high fever that I got furious at him for even suggesting my parents were alerted.  He was the first person in my whole life that I ever felt comfortable enough with to be that vulnerable around.  I got so mad at him that I threw a bottle of cough medicine at him and it stained his dorm room wall pink for the rest of the year, then I ended up driving myself to the emergency room in the ice and rain.  I was so sick that I clearly remember crying so hard I was shaking and hallucinating that I was steering through a tunnel of Christmas lights.   They gave me really strong antibiotics and I holed up alone, took care of myself and made him swear not to ever mention it to anyone.  He thought I was embarrassed about acting so violently, which I was, but mostly I was embarrassed for having been sick at all.  The whole thing was extraordinarily humiliating and I can't believe I just relived it on the internet.  

Uhm. Readin this made me livid. Just how fucking dare he! Yeah it's probably the weird fetishist in me thinking like that... but I seriously don't see any wrong with you throwing things at him and perhaps this makes me a bad feminist or something but seriously there's a limit to how much psychological stress you can put another person under. If I'm honest I'd like to punch him myself. I suck at throwing a punch but suppose I could learn.
 

7 hours ago, starsoup said:

My most favorite skateboarder boyfriend had terrible acne and regularly set his farts on fire, but boy did I love taking care of him when he'd get all banged up and his hips would swell and I'd make him ice packs and do racy things to make him feel better and keep him wanting me around.  He was so cute when he moaned.  Ok, that was a long time ago.

Uhm. This is really hot. Though we have a completely opposite taste in men though. I'm ridiculously bad at finding anyone attractive (I can often tell that "oh that person I guess is really attractive to many but no no not for me") and anything that has the scent of toxic masculinity is an instant libido killer. Well OK I can look past some risk taking and such but everything that has to do with violence & domination turns me flat out off. I don't want to even want share a table with bikers (that is, in my neck of woods bikers means biker gangs) if I can avoid it.

 

7 hours ago, starsoup said:

He was such a wuss.  The next day he was slightly feverish.  I mean ever so slightly.  His mom served him tea in bed and I am the girl who broke up with him as soon as we got back.  I know this does not make me a likable character but we were not right for each other AND this was a long time ago.   

Well can't blame you there either!  
 

7 hours ago, starsoup said:

Men fall into two categories when they are sick; either they are babies or they are jerks.

This I can't agree with though.

But yeah, real life will never come even close to a fic. There aren't even germs like that!

[doggo]

Now I've been thinking about these things since last night (what else would I care to think of?? ) and another thing came to mind...

We talk a lot about caretaking for obvious reasons, but, personally I'm also crazy protective. Seriously it's pitiful, I'm a little 5'2 lady and I am totally the big spoon. Doesn't make my life easy!! I've also gone into rather dangerous situations (with the possibility of violence) in an absolutely stupid way and can only thank my luck for getting out unscathed.

Seriously if anyone shares my pain, I would appreciate support.

[enfermero78]

On 1/13/2019 at 7:04 PM, starsoup said:

I know this does not make me a likable character but we were not right for each other AND this was a long time ago.  

 

Don't worry.  After "axe swinging fire wood choppers tending the land," I think we find you likable. 😂

[ZakuConvoy]

I mostly like to be the caretaker for someone else in my fantasies.  I just like that someone needs me or even just wants me around.  Or maybe it's just that I think the only time anyone else would want me around like that is if they're in some desperate need for someone to care for them.  I just like the idea of being there for them and cuddling them and getting her tea and stuff.  I doubt I'd ever really do any of that in real life, but it's nice to imagine that I would.

I don't really have any disliking for the idea of being taken care of myself, but...I don't really think I can conceive of that.  It's literally kind of hard for me to imagine that.

In real life, I just tend to either hide my sickness or just ignore it until it goes away.  Mostly, I just take care of myself.  Drink more water, that kind of thing.  I even tend to try to prevent getting a cold a little.  I've been taking vitamin E and D supplements, and it does seem to be making my immune system stronger...which might just be confirmation bias.  I'm not around a lot of people for my job, either, so I suppose that might be part of it, too.   I don't think there's any great reason for my not seeking out any caretaking or anything...it's just how I am, I guess.

 

[Guest]

I prefer being the caretaker, even though I pretty much take care of myself when I am not well. One scenario I can think of is when you S/O is about to sneeze but does not have a tissue/handkerchief to use, but you hand him/her one just just in time.