explaining to an SO

[deere]

A while ago I'd worked up the courage to tell my SO a little about the fetish, but they hadn't sneezed in front of me.

Then they got sick, and so we've talked about it quite a bit more- the coughing and the sneezing being turn-ons for me.

While accepting, their basic reaction was, unsurprisingly, confusion. "This is sexy to you?  Why?"

Which is a great and legitimate question...I have no idea, really.

 

Understanding it's deeply personal and varies for different people, looking for thoughts/experiences on explaining the "why" to an understanding but confused SO.

 

Thanks!

[facet]

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Edited November 1, 2019 by facet
Removed by user.

[doggo]

Congrats on your bravery, deere!

Seriously, I think a lot of stuff people consider "sexy" seems pretty arbitrary to me. Why do so many people, regardless of gender, find the ass so sexy? What is it about the bum? Makes no sense to me. Why some materials? Why is leather considered so often sexy? Or lace? I have came to think that sexuality is like a rake, or a fishing net or something, and all sorts of random stuff gets stuck in it and becomes "sexy" and it seldom has anything to do with sex itself - and what even is "sex as such", I mean... yeah. Now I'm confusing myself as well. Sorry about that.

(Slightly OT, but as a heterosexual woman who goes for men with colds, I'm kinda amused by those studies about testosterone being immunosuppressive. I mean, that would make susceptibility to colds a secondary sex characteristic, right??  )

[Reader]

You can also try to explain it by mentioning what you like about a sneeze.

Some people like that this tiny action can overwhelm someone or make them helpless. They like how much control a sneeze has on someone while others like the force of it or the pre-sneeze expressions involved. So for example, you could say that you like the force behind the sneeze.

Or you could say that it turns you on and that’s it lol. 

It’s great that your partner took the news well

[snzmn2016]

I think it's that partner has lost control, but is still safe. Also, face has an orgasmic appearance often. Plus the vulnerability it can create.

[deere]

22 hours ago, Reader said:

You can also try to explain it by mentioning what you like about a sneeze.

Some people like that this tiny action can overwhelm someone or make them helpless. They like how much control a sneeze has on someone while others like the force of it or the pre-sneeze expressions involved. So for example, you could say that you like the force behind the sneeze.

 

4 hours ago, snzmn2016 said:

I think it's that partner has lost control, but is still safe. Also, face has an orgasmic appearance often. Plus the vulnerability it can create.

This is more what I'm after- the why this, rather than "fetishes and kinks are okay" side of it.

They're totally ok with "some people are turned on by things that others are not", and just trying to understand why this particular thing is what does it for me.  I got a pretty well-reasoned explanation for some of their, um, less-mainstream proclivities.

Best I could do was "It just does, but I think it has something to do with the loss of control."

 

Thanks!

[Reader]

You’re welcome! If you end up thinking of more reasons, be sure to tell them because I’m sure it will be something they will specifically focus on out of the other elements of a sneeze. Similar to how you might do the same for them and their fetishes. 

@doggooooooooooooooooo Hahahahahahahaha Thanks for that tidbit!