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Sneezy Spy [F+Anthro]


Guy20XX

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Posted

The marble floor glistened from the street lights, the material boasting its perfections outwardly. Cars passed by with every headlight sweeping a particular room. One vehicle let its doors open, echoing inside a sneaky vixen’s pointed ears.

The silver fox grinned, opening the vent and stepping silently onto the pristine floor. Another car whizzed by, threatening to already expose the sleek spy’s black physique. She hugged a statue and winced, the light barely grazing her black and silver fur.

“Damn.” She whispered quieter than the air she breathed. Her nerves being mettled by the constant fear of being spotted. Given what could’ve been a normal mission, this wouldn’t bother the young vixen.

This canine agent-for-hire was known by the spy world as “Judas Lancer” due to her sneaky but honorable approach to spywork. She was so sneaky, in fact, that most people didn’t even know her birth name. She would often be able to dispose of jobbers before they knew what hit them, doing the work of a militant team from the shadows. When it came to putting down masterminds, Judas was certain to leave a mark for anyone else who decided to be mischievous in any conceivable way.

Only with a few hiccups, everything was going according to plan. The dark-colored vixen snuck around the lights with gymnast qualities, arriving towards the next room effortlessly. With her tactical spandex hugging the marble archway, every inch the black canine moved rewarded her with a alluring twitch of her ears. She could her the yelps of the shoddy wolves securing the perimeter with no progress to be seen. Every neck strangled and snagged from the bodyguards allowed Judas to pat herself on the back mentally with all of the pieces going into place. All it would take is a petty monologue and some swift reflexes to take down this so proclaimed “villain”.

Those types of villains were the worst at their job and the best to see fall. They truly looked and sounded like they came out of a cheesy spy movie. Their monologues all too revealing, with just a handy recorder ensuring they serve a hefty jail time for just breathing their vulnerable masterplan. Judas loves to ramble back sometimes, having fun with the ridiculous situation the villain wishes that the vixen would fall trap into. The vixen likes to think of it as putting down someone who is wrong from the start in a pointless argument.

Feeling a bit cocky, the sneaky spy found a place to hide within the tall, glamorous room she entered. Judas found a pattern with these types of criminals and just knew this one would set up their goofy contraptions here. It would be too easy to simply stop them before they started, but who wants to stop a movie before the best part?

“This ‘Juudas’ thinks they know me, sticking their nose in my business. But I nose what she just might do.” The equally dark spider said to herself, holding red button much larger than her face behind her back, as if the antenna would be able to be concealed on top of the simple remote.

Judas was just about ready to pop out. She had a grin on her muzzle, her tail wagging in anticipation. Right when she was about to make her presence known, she felt some rope rub against one of her ankles. A sudden zip was heard, the rope tightening against the ankle. The silver fox gulped with little time to prepare herself.

“Oh, this is just so glorious, I finally won!” The spider chirped, hearing the lone spy yelp from the tension.

Every step the excited spider took made the grin on her partially concealed face wider and brighter. Seeing the the tied-up vixen made her smile.

“Looks like I found a sad little victim in my web.” She forcefully moped, pouting her lips with exaggeration to devalue the intelligent spy. 

Getting ever so closer to the female fox, the multi-limbed, overgrown child had an odd fixation on her dark, wet nose. “Oh, this thing, this tiny little thing…” She smiled, wiggling the sensitive organ. 

Turning her grin into a frown, she slapped the constantly sniffing, sensitive snout to the side. “I hate it! It’s completely unfair that everyone else has a nose but ME!”

Judas attempted to raise her hand to object, but conveniently felt one of her blades slip down to her hand. The vixen took her time, curious on how this silly criminal was going to take her vengeance on the existence of noses out of all things.

“No more! Me and my pathetic senses are tired of your ‘sniffers’ and how you use them up like its some stupid...thing!” The childish demeanor of the jumpy, jumping spider was quickly butting heads with the static vixen’s temper, but the spy was willing to be humoured. Judas never heard of a bad guy with a loathing for malleable noses.

“If you so much as boop me, I’ll be sure you also face assault charges.” The upside down vixen said with some confusion in her voice, still very perplexed by her target’s motivations.

The black spider exhaled sharply, pulling her pale pink coat from the stress she built up from but a single word. “Boop! That’s another thing. You fiends have the privilege to use such a wholesome fregging word...I’m just creepy, not even close to cute!” The unnamed spider yelled as she turned around to face the fox with the meanest look she could put on her face, but simply looked just as stupid as before.

Blinking her eyes as the last part, Judas seemed a bit tired. Maybe this anthro’s rants were not the most noteworthy. “I mean, you kinda do look the part. Wouldn’t kill ya to put on some eyeliner.” The vixen smirked, seeing the sneering look from the equally tired looking anthro in front of her.

With two of her arms clenched at her sides, the offended spider swooped down and showcased her oversized remote, pressing the red button. Out from behind the nameless creature rose a ginormous laser cannon with the iffy craftsmanship being obvious with the rust and large duct tape casing the machine.

Whilst the spider lady fiddled two of her hands together like the plotting maniac she was, Judas quietly slit the ropes apart from her body, flipping herself to land on her feet like a feline. Placing the blade back in one of her numerous pockets, the fox readied an arm behind the spider and was ready to knock her out. The canine looked up at the size of the machine and the sky that was now revealed with it.

“With this machine, this *beautiful machine*. I’ll be the one making fun of everyone and their dumb noses!” The maniacal spider cackled, eager to start it right away. It was so tempting to just fire away into the atmosphere, but something inside pushed back to give a tiny bit of background on the mysterious device.

“So you see, when I shoot this into the sky, the clouds are suppose the change the chemicals to create a unique vapour. That’ll mix with the air and…” The spider explained excitedly, getting girlish and cheery.

Chopping the spider’s shoulder at the last second,  Judas sighed in annoyance. Her patience was well past its limits and she just wanted to go home. She looked at the spider again, to see one of her many arms block the hit and another arm holding an odd blaster.

“Zip!” The spider chriped, zapping the vixen’s face with a puff of gas.

“Whihh-what was tha...are you suihh-serious?” Judas complained, quickly understanding what this criminal had in mind for a doomsday.

“Before you sneeze, remember this. I...am...Fevera!” She announced with a pose.

Hanging a finger to her nose to postpone any complications, the gassed vixen was in awe, wondering why anyone would name themselves after a over-the-counter cold medicine. At least, that’s what it sounded like. “Fevera...whih-what?” The canine hitched.

“Yes, it is very menacing.” Fevera said in flattery, taking the hitch from the spy as utter shock. She stepped away and pressed another large button to reveal a hidden chair from the floor. She sat comfortably, dancing her fingers as if she was waiting for a reaction.

“Suih...suihh…” With the gas getting up her nasal cavities more and more quickly, the spy clenched her thumb and wiggled her septum, moving her arm back and forth as support for her informal sniffer. “So what about your own...nostrils?” The sniffling vixen said awkwardly.

“...Well, since it took so long to make, of course, this gas will never affect me!” Fevera boasted with a bit of worry, flaring her nearly invisible nostrils. The scent holes still not visible to the observant spy.

“Mmhihhhh! Hmm! *sniffle*” Judas agreed unconfidently, her hand shifting to allow her knuckles to scrap the nostrils. The pointed ligaments plucking the front-facing caverns one by one at a lighting speed, almost vibrating the black, squishy organ.

“Gerrrrrr! Could you stop doing that?!” The black spider pouted, jealous of the spy’s bendable, twistable, sniffable nose. She put a foot down as she jumped off her chair with melodramatic rage.

The silver fox noticed the spider’s discomfort for Judas’ own comforting of her nose and paused for a moment. “Oh? You mean like this?” Taunting the large child, she continued rubbing her nose by shaking her head back and forth with a finger placed firmly in front of her sniffer. She kept an arm rubbing back and forth and made sure the twitching organ was shifting as much a possible.

With Fevera revealing her six other eyes, she gritted her arachnid fangs. One could see her entire body steaming like a kettle. “Stop it!!!” She screamed, shaking her fists to the side.

With a mix of the tickle genuinely burning her nasal cavity and the enraged spider looking laughable, Judas was more than welcome to rub her nose further. “But it itches so badly!” She said a vaguely seductive tone, seeing the envy oozing out of the noseless villain. 

To keep the spider mad, Judas pressed the tip of her fingers up the septum of her nose, squishing the complexion upwards. She then used the palm to twist it down. Her hand clenched, having the fronts of her fingers on her palm. She smushed them against the face of her flaring nares and scrubbed side to side like someone scrubbing the dirt out of their hair. She flexed her nostrils for her own comfort throughout, but hoped to get some bonus points on pissing the spider lady off.

“Not fair! Not fair!” Fevera jumped up and down, crying tears of rage from how much this canine was showing off one of its preset features. If only she wasn’t always called “No-nose Nancy” as a child, she would’ve been a well off member of society.

With the tables turned and the spider being the vulnerable one, the sneezy spy took the blaster and zapped the center of Fevera’s face.

“Whihh-why did y-chieww! Oh nuih-nose...chiewww! Chiewww!” The spider doubled over, all of her gadgets falling as her defenseless nares sucked in all the gas that grazed her face.

Rolling her eyes at the sneezing mess, Judas used her radio to call in a close partner of hers to pick her up. “Charlie, you won’t believe what just hahihhhhh…” Judas paused, unable to finish her comment. 

Relying on her companion to come by, the silver and black vixen took the time to let her sneeze run its course. “Geihhh-cuihh...come on, duihh...dumb nose!” She complained, squeezing her nose with her hand.

Right next to Judas, a brick wall broke from a quite fancy entrance of a certain german shepard. He wore a tuxedo and was in a decked out luxury car. “Looks like my sweet Candice picked up something rather despicable tonight.” Charlie said in a distinctly posh accent.

“*cough cough* Thihh chiiiiiiew! The dust doesn’t really gehiiiiiiewww! Help.” The spy sniffled, smiling as her birth name was called. She swiped her nose with a quick slice of her finger against her nose, sitting inside the pristine car.

“How about when we get home, I can play nurse and you can be the patient.” Charlie humored, driving out of the building and into the city.

“Ruihhh chiiiiiiew! Really? You couldn’t last a second with a cold! I’ll be sleeping by myself, by the way.” The vixen sneezed again, smirking with her last remark.

“Well fine, but can I say you have the most adorable sneeze? I haven’t heard a single ma’am sneeze like that in my life.” Charlie rebounded, kissing the sneezy vixen’s forehead.

“Oh you!” Candice said, leaning her head against the golden dog as they drove to a nice hotel to spend the night together at, finishing yet another intriguing mission.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Really liked this. Nice little quips between characters, good story setup, good sneezes.

Posted
On 2/8/2019 at 2:06 AM, Rock And Roll Boy said:

Really liked this. Nice little quips between characters, good story setup, good sneezes.

Thanks. I hope to make more stories of this tone. Its pretty fun when it isnt boring or serious. 

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