To tell or not to tell your SO? Which do you prefer?

[marina<3]

Hi everyone! 

So I have told my previous partner and my current boyfriend about the fetish. Surprisingly, each one of them took it really well. On the other hand, I have noticed that with each one of them after I told them about the fetish, they both sneezed much less. Now this wasn’t because they didn’t want to. My ex was always eager to try to sneeze for me or would even fake it for me in the moment. My current boyfriend has yet to sneeze in front of me. There are times when he is about to, but then he thinks about it or gets excited and then loses it.

I noticed the same thing happened with my ex. Once he knew about it, his natural sneezes decreased significantly. I wonder if it’s because they start thinking about it and get distracted and then the sneeze doesn’t come. 

Also, it was always kind of uncomfortable when other people sneezed around me and my ex/my current bf. Like if my family sneezed or even just a friend. It was awkward because they know how I feel about sneezing and it almost took the enjoyment out of it. 

Also a huge part of the fetish for me is being blessed and caretaking. I feel like when I told my ex and my current bf about the fetish, there was no like innocence left anymore (I’m not sure if innocence is the right word). Anytime I sneezed it was sexual to them (even though my own sneezing doesn’t turn me on at all). I guess what I’m trying to say is that I kind of like seeing how someone reacts when I’m sick/blesses me when they don’t know about the fetish. Like for me, it’s cuter if they are already super caring and don’t know what it does to me. 

Is this just me? I felt like telling them would add to the enjoyment, but sometimes I feel like it takes it away for me. Does anyone else have this problem? Have your SOs been able to still sneeze normally around you? Do any of you wish you hadn’t of told them? Or like the phases before they know better? 

Maybe it’s just me 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

[•.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.•]

i'm an incredibly open person, especially in my relationships, so i couldn't imagine having a partner and not sharing this part of myself with them, especially since for me it's such a significant part of what makes me who i am. 

eta: i never actlly had that happen where someone sneezed less or made it weird after i told them, but idk maybe we just talked about it more readily? one of my exes even made sure to grab my attention when a sneeze was coming.

anyway i've never regretted telling someone about it. there are a couple of people who found out about it without my saying anything and that didn't go very well... but the kind of person who disregards your boundaries like that, like, nothing is going to go well anyways 

Edited February 26, 2019 by •.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.•
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[facet]

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Edited November 1, 2019 by facet
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[Reader]

 

11 hours ago, marina<3 said:

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I kind of like seeing how someone reacts when I’m sick/blesses me when they don’t know about the fetish. Like for me, it’s cuter if they are already super caring and don’t know what it does to me. 

Exactly this (besides the examples). I would only reveal the things that wouldn’t ruin parts of the fetish for me.

Some reactions only work when they are natural.

I’ve told someone before (somewhat unrelated to this fetish) that they do something really arousing but it would ruin it for me if I told them.

They were A-okay without knowing. 

So Marina, would you still tell your bf about this if you could go back? 

Do the pros outweigh the cons? 

[Sneesee]

Well, for years I lived with the fetish as a secret. I was over 30 by the time I found others like me (this forum). At first I was very nervous revealing this to my then husband, whom I had known for many years already. He took it rather well, didn’t think it was weird. The main reason I told him was so I didn’t have to keep hiding this forum and anything I was doing on the computer. In a way it was very good for us because he was also comfortable opening up to me about some of his kinks. However, it did create a bit of a mental block for him for awhile. And sometimes I regretted telling him.

My current man, well he has known about it for a long time. We were work friends before we both ended up being single and hanging out together. I told him about he fetish before he ever even sneezed in front of me. He has mostly been respectful about it. There was one time he said something he shouldn’t have in front of someone at work, but she was kind of clueless so he lucked out. But I explained how that felt and he never did it again. I would like to think I got lucky with him, because he just normally does things when he sneezes that happen to trip my trigger. I don’t think they are done just for my benefit. The way he announces, and his build ups, and the way he tries to talk through it, and the conversation afterwards, it all just hits the right buttons for me. I love the way he blesses other people and I am so anxious to sneeze in front of him (hasn’t happened yet) so he can bless me.   He will sometimes gently play with my nose or kiss it while we are cuddling, and that drives me wild. So, all in all, for me personally, the pros outweighed the cons, and I am glad I was open about it.

[Reader]

@Sneesee That was so darling and lovely! Thanks for sharing! I’ve read some past posts of the two of you and just loved how great you two are together!  ❤️ 

[haymaker]

This topic has been posted before and each time it produces some diverse opinions. Personally I would never tell any partner about this fetish. The primary reason is that the spontaneous and organic nature of the sneeze would surely be compromised by an awareness of the moment from both parties. For me, that makes the whole deal less erotic.

 

 

[Alabaster]

I think I'd have to tell my partner-- or at least I much prefer it. I want to witness the first sneezes without him knowing, but after.... there's just so much fun that can be had when you both know. It's a big part of my pleasure and I'd want to share it once I'd gotten close enough to a partner.

[RedVelvetHeart]

Tell tell tell! I do think there's a sexy tension when it's a secret, but to me I like being open and able to play with it. My husband is sort of innocent and not at all familiar with kink....and it actually took him a while to really "get" that this was a thing for me! It's colds in particular that do it for me, and he doesn't tell people when he is sick (doesn't like to complain) - so he wouldn't tell me and actually hide it, you know, because of the manliness. And then when I'd finally realize he was sick, I'd get frustrated and tell him he HAS to tell me, this is a big deal for me! It took a while but it finally sank in.

[Travel]

I'd prefer to tell them. A friend told me that it's best to do this once the relationship is at least a bit solidified. 

[Usagi]

Well, if you had a more typical mainstream fetish, like bondage or something like that, you would tell them right? I feel like part of the reason the whole sneeze kink thing is a big deal when it comes to telling your partner is because of how obscure it is and how a lot of people are scared their S.O would think they're weird since it's not one of the socially acceptable kinks for lack of a better term. 

In my opinion you should definitely tell your S.O. It's a big part of communication and being honest is important, especially if you want them to open up to you in the same way. Sexual acts are also important in most relationships, and both parties should probably reveal that info if they do have weird kinks. That way they can discuss comfort levels or scenarios they want to do together. 

That and if it puts your mind at ease, most of my friends know about my sneeze kink. I've told many people. Probably about 50 or over by now. Only 2 that I can remember reacted in a negative way. Most of them are like "Hey that's cute!" or "PShHh that's nothing have you seen the internet". Some of them get a bit confused and want to understand why your attracted to that of all things, but outright disgust or "You're weird" isn't as frequent a reaction as you'd think. 

I hope that helps you! 

[vawnie]

i don’t think i’ll tell my boyfriend, at least not anytime soon. i like the fact that he has no idea what it does to me

[chhika]

So as I've mentioned in other posts, I don't have the fetish but my partner does and I am SO glad he told me. For me it just means I know I can drive him wild with something so natural. I've yet to naturally sneeze in front of him because I'm not a massively sneezy person (but he's in for it when I get a cold!) But I love inducing for him and when he's not with me, recording it and sending them to him. I feel it's made our relationship so much stronger.

Having said that, my partner doesnt really seem to have a preference between natural and induced sneezes. I imagine if he didn't like induced ones as much as he does, he might not have told me as it would rely on when it happened naturally. As a non fetishist though, I've absolutely loved exploring it with my partner.

[jdoe99945]

It took me a while to tell my partner, and at first I didn’t plan to, but I’m very glad I did. For one thing, it feels good to get it off my chest and know that they accept me for who I am.
But also it can be frustrating to push down those kinds of desires, especially when you’re looking for ways to spice things up and there’s that obvious suggestion right there: sneezing!
Luckily my partner was willing to give it a try. It’s not something we do all the time, but it was great getting to actually experience those fantasies for real after so long.

Obviously this all depends on how accepting your partner is of the kink and whether they’re willing to try it. But I think it’s worth it to find out! Even if the conversation’s a little awkward.