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Congestion Ahead (M, F)


RedVelvetHeart

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Posted (edited)

Just a bit of fun for the forum! 

Amanda cruised along the highway listening to her latest mix on Spotify, heading for work. It was a beautiful, sunny spring day and she let herself dream happily about her upcoming vacation. She sighed. Life was good.

Suddenly, as if she'd jinxed herself, the DOT sign up ahead came into focus with the dreaded warning: "CONGESTION AHEAD". 

"Nooo!" she protested. Ugh, she hated congestion. There usually wasn't any on this route. Brake lights started to light up in front of her and she felt the inevitable feeling of her nose getting more and more stuffed up.

"Oh, I do'd even have ady tissues!" she complained, sniffling and rummaging around in her purse while trying to keep her eyes on the road. Her sinuses were filling up and she sniffled wetly, she could barely keep her nose from running down her face. She finally found some fast food napkins in the glove box and pressed them to her nose and blew, gurgling, into the napkins. What a relief! But no sooner were her sinuses clear than they started to tickle irresistibly. "Ahhhhhh.....AH-CHOOO!" she sneezed. She tapped on Waze to see if she could avoid it by exiting and taking Route 6, but red nose icons were everywhere. 

Traffic was slowing to a crawl. She glanced sideways at the drivers around her as they similarly scrambled to deal with the sudden congestion. A handsome older Latino man in a BMW blew into a handkerchief - he looked like he was used to this sort of thing and came prepared. A pretty young redheaded woman in a Prius blew again and again into a handful of tissues. A young man in an old Civic with a weed bumper sticker seemed to have resorted to a piece of paper. 

Traffic came to a complete halt as the motorists all sniffled, sneezed, and blew their noses on whatever they could find. "Ah...Tchoo! ACHOOO! ATCHOOOOO!" Amanda sneezed violently, and the sneezing just made the pressure in her sinuses worse. The attractive man in the BMW took a pill, washed it down with his reusable water bottle, and then took out some nasal spray. Quickly and efficiently he squeezed the bottle and sniffed in each nostril. Amanda looked down at her sodden handful of Wendy's napkins and shook her head. Goals, thought Amanda. Then the man sneezed a powerful but controlled sneeze into his handkerchief. Glancing to the right, Amanda noticed the poor redhead's nose was bright red and her mascara was running, and the stoner kid had given up entirely and was just letting his nose run. Amanda blew a wet gurgling blow through her mostly blocked nose and tried to count her blessings. Some people have this kind of commute every day. "Ehhhh...CHOOO!!!"

When Amanda was done cleaning up from that sneeze, she saw the car in front of her start to move. "Oh please..." she thought...yes, yes, the congestion was clearing up. She slowly drove forward even as the pressure in her sinuses eased and her nose started to unblock. She blew again into the nearly useless napkins, and felt her head start to really clear as she picked up speed, finally leaving all that congestion behind. 

Edited by MyOwnPrivateSFC
Added tags & put genders in title, per author request
Posted

This was noth clever and hot

Posted

This gave me a chuckle. I love word plays. Very clever!  :yay: 

 

Posted
4 hours ago, hanahiru said:

This was noth clever and hot

Thank you!

1 hour ago, Chanel_no5 said:

This gave me a chuckle. I love word plays. Very clever!  :yay: 

 

Glad you liked it! It was inspired by a newspaper cartoon I saw years ago with a motorist listening to a radio that said something like "Severe congestion on I95N.  Road crews are on their way with tissues to  clean it up." Always stuck in my head!

Posted

Oh and I'm so sorry I forgot to tag or put anything in the title (M, F). I was almost finished when I was being called away so I rushed posting it. If any kind moderator feels like adding, they are welcome to!

Posted
1 hour ago, superimmunegirl said:

Oh and I'm so sorry I forgot to tag or put anything in the title (M, F). I was almost finished when I was being called away so I rushed posting it. If any kind moderator feels like adding, they are welcome to!

No worries! Just let me know what tags or title additions you’d like, and I’ll fix that up for you, no problem! :)

Posted
On 4/30/2019 at 9:46 PM, MyOwnPrivateSFC said:

No worries! Just let me know what tags or title additions you’d like, and I’ll fix that up for you, no problem! :)

Thank you!! I'd say tag Male, Female, unspecified causes and add (M, F) to the title. I appreciate it!!

 

Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, superimmunegirl said:

Thank you!! I'd say tag Male, Female, unspecified causes and add (M, F) to the title. I appreciate it!!

 

Done! And, what a fun story! I especially liked the “red nose icons” on Waze!

Edited by MyOwnPrivateSFC
Posted
On 5/3/2019 at 3:32 PM, MyOwnPrivateSFC said:

Done! And, what a fun story! I especially liked the “red nose icons” on Waze!

Thank you!! 😊

  • 3 years later...
Posted

This is one of the most creative stories on this forum. If only there were more to read!

Posted

I love this !  I'll have you to thank whenever I come across 9ne of those signs and the mental images start flowing ! 

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