Allergy Men Loving Men Loving Multilevel Marketing (MLMLMLM)

[Anonymouse]

Good morning world! 🌍 My name is Kurtis Ichahotbod Chu, I am a 29-year-old business owner and entrepreneur, and I am here with just one question❓ What was the most amazing moment of your life? 🤔 Like, truly amazing? We tend to overuse the word amazing, which cheapens its meaning. 🌟 There are so many paths our lives can take 👨‍🎓💑🤱🤡 but mine was truly fabulous. Truly astounding. Truly super. 🦸‍ Amazing.

I'll tell you all about it, but first, like with every superhero, you need to know my origin story. 📖 #humblebeginnings

It was my wedding day. 💒 They delivered the wrong flowers to the venue 😡🚫🌺 and I was trying not to have a bridezilla moment!!!!! 🐲 Of all the flowers they could have sent, it had to be chrysanthemums which spell nothing but trouble for my allergies 🤧 I was sneezing up an absolute storm!!!!! ⛈ But as they say, the show must go on, so I walked down that aisle, stopping every few steps to sneeze into my hands. 🤲 Little did I know at the time that with every sneeze, I was rubbing off more and more of my expertly applied make-up!!!!! 😱😱😱 The photos 📸 that followed still mortify me to this day. I sneezed through my vows and his, but make it through the kiss without getting interrupted. 💋😘 I couldn't believe he still wanted to kiss me with how bad I looked!!!!! #ugh #lovehim #soblessed #whatamightygoodman

So my husband (it is so fun saying that!!!!!) Alek has a cousin, Tina (love ya babe 😘), who went to school with us and came to the wedding. Tina approached us while my new husband and I were tearing it up on the dance floor. 🕺🕺 I had taken an allergy pill 💊 before the reception, which didn't stop me from having a few drinks 🍷🍸🍹🙈

Disclaimer: You should not consume alcohol while taking Benadryl. 🙅‍♂️ I was acting like quite the 🤡 as the night wore on, and my liver and reputation are still paying a hefty price. 💰

Anyways!!!!! 😜

"Hey girl!" It was my girl Tina, approaching me with the cutest bag I have ever seen!!!!! 👛 Quite frankly the emoji doesn't do it justice. The bag was purple and it sparkled like a diamond under the party lights. 💎⭐ "I saw you up there looking a hot mess and a half!" Tina said.

That Tina is such a bitch! #loveher #bossbabes #watchusclimb

Now my friend Tina has always been interested in cosmetology, so I joked that perhaps she could fix up my face. I am truly looking like a dumpster fire 🔥 a real beast 👹 who had no right to be dancing with his beauty. Imagine my shock when Tina pulled me away from Alek and into the bathroom right that second!!!!! 😳

"First thing we need to do is get the rest of this mess all the way off," said Tina.

She grabbed a handful of papers and dampened them in the sink before scrubbing at my face. My nose 👃 did not like that one bit, and before I knew it I was sneezing all over Tina!!!!! 🤧😳 I explained that my nose was still so sensitive, and that reapplying may not be the best idea, but she insisted. And it was hard to say no when I saw her pull out the first item!!!!! 👀

The Poonique Touch Foundation Sticks in Pasty Raw Dumpling are a godsend!!!!! 🙌 It matched my skin tone perfectly and was convenient but effective. Tina was able to apply the foundation quickly and without setting off that pesky tickle in my nose. It felt good to say "bye bye!!!!!" to those embarrassing red blotches 🥵👋 #byefelicia

Next came what is now a must-have in my and everyone's make-up kits - the Stiff Upper Lip Stain. 💄🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 The pigments come from natural sources, and my favorite color - Cheeto Mouth - is created using only the purest of crushed minerals and crystalized ear wax sustainably sourced from local Measles communes that delivers the stiffness promised by the moniker. 👂➡️👄 If your skin tone is anything like mine (uncooked pizza dough), this shade will bring out your natural glow ☀️ and make your whole smile infectious! 😁 #makeupishealthcare #increaseyourimmunitythenaturalaway #vaccinesareevil #pooniquecares #allnatural #organic #sustainable #therapeuticgrade

Lastly, Tina applied the beloved classic and world-renowned Moodstruck Epic 4D One-Step Fiber Mascara in Achusia Fuschia to my unworthy lashes!!!!! I ended up sneezing again, but to my surprise, the fresh mascara did not leave the usual black smudges against my cheeks!!!!! 😳 Tina did nothing but rave about the 4D fiber lashes on Facebook since becoming a consultant two weeks before the wedding, and I had not gotten around to trying it yet. 😔 But now I saw for myself just how great it was. It could withstand all this sneezing, then this was a mascara that was up for anything! 👁👃👁

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own selfish lives, that it takes us stopping to smell the roses 👃🌹 and sneezing our way through a pivotal life event 🤵🤵 to reconnect with an old high school friend of a friend in the bathroom 🚽 and start supporting her small business. 📠📦🖋

Not only did I support Tina's business that night, I started building my very own!!!!! 🛠 That's right, folks, you have been added to the Facebook group for my small business "Poonique Purty Faces by Kurty" by yours truly, Kurt Chu, fast rising Poonique independent consultant and newest member of #teamfaserash!!!!! 🤩 Yes, Tina signed up under the legendary trio, Fashyn, Eryn, and Ashlyn, so now they are my sisters too💃💃💃 My business up and running and ready to party in your home or online!!!!! 🥳🏠💻 Can you believe allllll that it took to start this business was the belief that I could achieve anything I set my mind to 💪a small investment of $199 for a premium presenter kit 💸💸💸 and a silly little sneezing fit? 🤧

If you are saying to yourself "I can't afford that," I want you to think about something. 🤔💭❓ How much do you spend each day on that fancy shmancy latte drink? ☕ You know, the one you just can't live without? ⚰ Now imagine putting that money towards bettering yourself everyday!!!!! 😊💭💡 It's possible, especially now, because Poonique is running a limited time special for 30% off starter kits!!!!! 😍 At that price, you can get TWO premium presenter kits for the price of one and a half lattes each day!!!! Each kit comes with three of each of the make-ups I discussed above, plus a fashionable carrying pouch! Seems like a no brainer to me 🧠 especially considering how much money you'll be raking in once your new business takes off!!!!! ✈

Becoming a Poonique presenter on my wedding day was the most meaningful moment of my life, one I will always look back on even when I'm fabulously old and gray. 🧓 After six months of climbing the ranks of the corporate ladder, I have been able to retire my hubby, a former college professor, so he can stay home with our two wonderful children, Isla and Lasche. 👨‍👧👨‍👧 The girls love having their daddy home while their other daddy sets an example for them with his #hardwork and #determination as he #bossbabes his way to the top!!!!! 📈 And I am sure the free make-up that daddy brings home for them to play with helps a lot!!!!! 🤣🙈 #family #parenting #busydads #lovethem #girldad

Believe me when I say this make-up is amazing. 🙌 That becoming a Poonique presenter was truly the most amazing moment of my life. Are you ready to join us, to take a chance on yourself, to invest in YOU? Then DM me for more info and we'll get to chatting about this once-in-a-lifetime business opportunity, or even just to book a party!!!!! 🎉 If you don't reach out, I promise I will. 😘 #poonique #mlmlmlm

Edited June 9, 2019 by Anonymouse

[Chanel_no5]

The sheer creativity of this fic is GOLDEN! And it sounds so super enthusiastic I could picture someone actually writing a marketing thing like that.  

[bloom]

3 hours ago, Anonymouse said:

Isla and Lasche

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME

[March Hare]

ICHAHOTBOD? YAAAAAAAAAS, GURL!!

Seriously, this needs to be a Youtube series at the very least. #TEAMFACERASH

21st century satire - you got it, boss bitch ❤️

[Wilde]

On 6/9/2019 at 11:18 AM, Anonymouse said:

Pasty Raw Dumpling

This is where you got me 😂 Love it, brilliantly written