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Find the positive in the negative.


Shay

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The purpose of this topic is to reframe bad things that have happened to you by considering the positive side of it and how you may have grown or learned something from the experience and being thankful for it. This is something that has helped me to let go of anger and even forgive others for things they've done to me or forgive myself for things I've done to myself or others. This can be something that's happened recently or any time in your past and it can be anything from horrific to a minor annoyance.

 

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I'll go first and I'll post one thing that's a bit trivial, and one that's much more significant.

 

I'm thankful for the negligence that caused workers to accidentally sever my fiber optics cable cutting off internet, phone, and tv services. Because of this I learned how to use my cell phone as a mobile hotspot, which I'd never done before, and I was also able to spend some quality time with my mother and one of my sisters watching a DVD which we probably wouldn't have done if this hadn't happened.

I'm thankful for my mental illness and chronic health issues because I've learned so many things that I might never have learned if I hadn't gone through that pain and suffering, especially when it comes to my spirituality. It gave me time to really get to know myself and figure out my purpose in life, and now I'm going back to school to get certified in some alternative therapies.

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I like this thread a lot, and I'm gonna come back to it when I've put some distance to current happenings so I'm able to see anything positive in them. :rolleyes::lol:  

3 hours ago, Shay said:

now I'm going back to school to get certified in some alternative therapies.

This is amazing, good luck!! 

 

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6 minutes ago, Chanel_no5 said:

I like this thread a lot, and I'm gonna come back to it when I've put some distance to current happenings so I'm able to see anything positive in them. :rolleyes::lol:  

This is amazing, good luck!! 

 

Thanks! And yeah, sometimes you do need some time and distance from things that happened to be able to reflect on them in that way. I wish you the best and I hope things will start to turn around for you soon.

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It's a little thing, but I recently broke my laptop and had to get a new one. It sucked that I had to shell out the cash to fix the mistake I made, but I've learned from the experience to treat my things (especially electronics) with greater care. 

I've always been of the opinion that if you've learned from your mistakes, you don't have to feel bad about making them.

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Yesterday, about 24 hours ago, I got into an awful car accident and it was my very first. My car is totaled. I’m sore all over. It frickin’ sucks.

However, no lives were lost. I’m completely fine and even though their car rolled, the mom and the small children were perfectly okay. It was literally a miracle considering I was driving 40mph at the time of the collision.

And because we both have insurance, I should be getting somewhere around $4,500-$6,500 dollars to compensate for my car. 

And, because my dad is such a nice human and works from home, I can drive his car to school and school functions  

No lives lost. I’m getting insurance money. I’m not terrified of driving again and my dad is letting me borrow his car. And, guess what, I have experience now. I understand the importance of driving safe, of wearing seatbelts and having insurance. I understand the process of reporting an accident.

There’s so much good that came out of this bad thing. And if I chose to stay upset about it, I wouldn’t be able to see all the good that came from the accident. 

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I Completely underestimated the helpfulness of these stat notes Now I know theres ALWAYS A CHANCE FOR IT TO WORK ITS NOT ALL POINTLESS AND CONFUSING YAAAY

(my entire school life math of any kind EVEN WITH GIVEN NOTES would confuse me and frustrate me and give me the runaround....My stats teacher showed me I have hope when understanding notes and not all are demon spawn even when it feels like it. ) I cant put it into words but just pure relief that even with all my issues I CAN STILL FOLLOW THE NOTES ITS SO CORE AND STRAIGHT FORWARD AND I CAN UNDERSTAND THE RELEVANCE! I am so happy i just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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There was a point not too long ago, it seems, where I wanted my ex-boyfriend, who I was with for almost 6 years, to get back together with me. I was fine after we had broken up for about six months, and then it suddenly hit me in the form of the worst delayed reaction ever. I was miserable, angry, and so desperate for him to realize that we were actually meant to be, even though it was crystal clear (to probably everyone else) that we weren’t. I would beg anyone I could—friends, myself, God, the universe—for him to stop ignoring me and say that he loved me again.

I am so, so grateful it never happened. Looking back, I didn’t want to get back together with him. What I wanted was the happiness I felt from our earlier years, the security of those moments, and for us to be the people we no longer were. I was so blinded by a glorified image of what I wanted to see that I dismissed the verbal abuse and clear evidence of why we didn’t work out—that while we helped each other grow and navigate our early 20’s, we just weren’t right for one another beyond that.

It was a hard lesson to learn, but I’m thankful for it. ^_^ I wish I could go back in time and a) hit up a Blockbuster, and b) tell my past self not to sweat it (and that she would meet the true love of her life in December of 2017 :wub:). 

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A while ago I had a writer's block so severe and lasting for so long that I was certain I would never be able to write again. Ever. Anything. However, while my inspiration and motivation to write are far from what they were before that happened, I have been able to write since. Not as well or as productively as before, but at least I can write again. And the positive in that negative is that now I know that no matter how hard or long-lasting a writer's block is, eventually it comes back to me and I can write. It really felt like that part of me was dead, and time just went on and on. It was more than unpleasant, it was terrifying. So, yeah, if that happens again, I know I can just sit back and wait it out, and that's going to be very helpful to avoid stressing out over it (and thus make it worse). Life is stressful enough as it is. Some people thrive on stress and their creativity peaks. I'm unfortunately the opposite, my creativity shuts down when I'm stressed. I thought that time I had reached a point where it couldn't be reactivated. I'm so glad I learned that it will come back, eventually. 

 

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Glad to see so many responding to this thread. Wasn't sure if anyone would be interested or find it helpful. @FadedRose Yikes! That sounds really scary. Glad you're okay and no one else was hurt and that's great you were able to recognize it as a learning opportunity so soon after the event.

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I had to do all the stable chores by myself yesterday, despite being in massive pain. Usually we do it together when either part isn't doing well, but mom couldn't afford gas for the extra driving, so I ended up having to do it myself. Could barely walk and felt generally miserable. 

However, this almost-friend, C, finally came right out and told me she really enjoys our conversations and prefers it when I go there without mom because C thinks it's awesome to hang out with me alone, and asked if I want to go on a ride in the woods once horsey gets new shoes. It's so rare that anyone wants to make plans with me that I almost felt like I was asked out on a date! :rofl: (no, no romance involved, she's very straight and very happily married, and I just really want her as a friend).

Anyway, she wouldn't have asked if I hadn't been there alone, which made it worthwhile despite the pain. 

 

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I received a jury summons for the first time in my life. I'm a bit outraged after learning how little they pay ($9/day and then a whopping $25/day after the first three days, which should be criminal in and of itself), but thankfully I have several valid medical reasons why I can't serve. I didn't list every single thing that would prevent me from serving on the form I filled out, but I did put down like 4 or 5 reasons, any one of which should be enough. I don't know yet if they're going to want a doctor's note, and I'm not sure if my doctor will want me to come in for an appointment if they do, but a checkup with my doctor, who I happen to like, would be a small price to pay for not having to sit through that.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Several months ago I had bought a blend of lots of different types of dried fruit to use as treats for my pet parrot to get a feel for what he liked. He responded well to a few of the types of fruit, but didn't care for the others. So I purchased him a 2nd blend from the same brand that only had 2 types of fruit, one of which I already knew he liked. Unfortunately it was a big disappointment. The fruit in the first blend was soft and chewy, and the fruit in the 2nd blend was extremely dry and hard. Based on the quality of the first blend, I had no reason to expect that the quality of the 2nd blend would be so different. My parrot did look interested in the new dried fruit but would pick it up and drop it soon afterwards. Moistening the dried fruit didn't seem to help.

After leaving a rather poor review which was mostly about how the quality was so much worse than the other blend of that brand I tried and less about the fact that my bird didn't like it(which is just individual taste), the website saw it and issued a refund and didn't even ask me to send the items back. I had been planning to request a return if I couldn't find a way to make the treats more palatable but the fact that they refunded my money and saving me the trouble is some really great customer service.

Now I must continue my search for pineapple and/or papaya dried fruit that's both soft and chewy, and doesn't have any added sugar that's not insanely expensive.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Good lord... Tonight has been insane. Actually, the last several days have been a rollercoaster, but I'll just focus on what happened tonight. I know that this will sound like something that maybe should have been posted in the snake pit because there will be a bit of a rant/venting, but I promise that there will be some positive stuff at the end.

Right before dinner I nearly had a heart attack on the toilet from someone shooting off fireworks. I can't say exactly where it came from but it sounded like a bombs exploding in front of my house. I was able to see the fireworks low in the sky from my bathroom window, which I shouldn't have been able to do with the huge tree in the front yard so it had to have been close. I've been struggling with the fireworks stuff for many years. Last year it was so bad around the 4th of July I was having full meltdowns on the floor shaking and crying. Then using a combination of EFT and meditation I turned everything around and got through this past 4th of July virtually stress free. I was so proud of myself. Now it feels like most of that progress vanished.

I was extremely badly shaken, and I actually called the police and I've never done that before for fireworks. They were skeptical about how close it actually was to my house, and kept asking me for information I didn't have. Like it's not my job to prove that they were set off in an illegal manner, it's their job to investigate, and I actually had to correct them on the legal distance fireworks have to be from occupied structures, but they said they'd send someone out, and of course it was mostly over by the time I managed to speak to someone anyway, so probably nothing can be done about it. And now I'm worried that it's just going to end up biting me in the ass somehow.


Once I got up to my bedroom, I just completely fell apart crying and shaking and even screaming silently. At some point I even punched myself in the forehead several times, though oddly it didn't really hurt. The coping skills I'd developed really weren't helping that much and I was still really shaky an hour after the incident. All I wanted was for someone to hold me and comfort me. It was something my mother used to do for me as a kid, but I haven't felt comfortable asking for that sort of comfort in a long time due to reasons I won't get into right now. I went downstairs to put my parrot to bed and talked to my mother about everything. She asked what she could do and then I kind of just went for it and told her how much I needed to be hugged and comforted. She held out her arm (she only has the use of one arm since the stroke) for me to come and hug her. It was really awkward having to bend down over her chair, but I did let her hug me and I cried into her shoulder for awhile as she rubbed my back. I don't know why it made such a difference but it did help more than just crying alone in my room. So I guess the positive in all this is that maybe this will help strengthen my relationship with my mother and help heal some of the past hurt.

Then, as if that wasn't enough, a couple of other things happened tonight, but I'll try to keep them short. I was in my room really trying to unwind and relax as best I could for the rest of the night and then I heard my sister cry out in the next room. It sounded like she was in pain, and I was afraid she was having some sort of medical crisis so I ran in there and it turned out she was just yelling at Minecraft. I was annoyed given how on edge I already was, but just grateful nothing was actually wrong.

After that, in the attempt to stop my phone from sliding down the side of my recliner chair cushion, where it'd be a pain in the ass to retrieve, I managed to get my hand stuck. Knowing it wasn't worth it serious injury, I tried to drop the phone to free my hand, but everything was jammed in so tightly that I wasn't able to drop it. I shouted out to my sister for help, but I managed to yank my hand out by sheer force along with the phone just before she got there. Anyway, I'm just really grateful that I didn't end up in the hospital tonight needing to have three of my fingers reattached.

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