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Sheherazade's tales


Heathcliff

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SHEHERAZADE

On a horrible night

I crafted a thread,

They told me to go,

I'd rather be dead,

The sister, the brother,

They're coming together.

The seeable, hearable, terrible weather.

So I am the monster who sits on the roof,

Chewing the gravel, reciting the truth,

Sniffing for gold in the trenches and holes,

Picking my fingernails. Iron and gold,

Copper and platinum, all the good metals,

Open them up as with flowers and petals.

Bits of iridium, potash and peat.

Seek out the treasures miles under your feet.

But hum, diddly dum- disgrace and no glory,

Nontheless now- I will tell you a story.

---------

THE BLACKSMITH'S BOY

There was an old man, in Hexam he dwelled.

Didn't know much of the metals he sold.

He hired a boy, to manage the oven,

And he was so wicked, he knocked him about.

He jabbed him and hooked him- and yes, this is true-

An adult who still beats a boy black and blue.

The Devil, he came, to purchase his wares,

Silver and tungsten, puzzling things,

To forcibly construct his wires and springs,

Burn it and turn it to magical rings.

But then, the little lad tending the kiln,

Had a good look and said "Hang on a moment!"

"This person looks a quite worrying chap..."

"Get this person away from me, no-one has aided me!"

"Or set him free to go out on a quest."

Satan got angry, he didn't expect it,
Slipped off his ring, and then coin-like he flipped it,
Said to the boy, who was shaking and scared,
"If it lands on the empty-side up, it's yours, kid"

The boy took the ring, Satan left with a smile,
Saying "humankind tickles me once in a while."

-----------

Oh- but you don't know the story of Aladdin, do you? Come close near the fire- and I will tell you.

THE TALE OF ALLADIN

I was an old man when I started to write,
Daffodils, lilies, roses and dill.

The princess slipped out of the castle one night,
Daffodils, lilies, roses and dill.

She scuttled and snuckerfied into the town,
Gladlily seeing how the weather was brown,
The skyribox greyified all over lovely,
And Princeless Jasmino was dressdin and homely.

Aladdin was trembly, all of a shakey,
Told to go to the cave and plunder.
He knew it was wrong but he sang Disney's song
And went down into the caverns down under.

Aladdin- the lad in, barely got away whole,
I am discombobulous to spell out his name,
He got the lamp and escaped with his life.
And we all know who should have taken the blame.


 
Aladdin closed humbly by, his lampy close held,
Where the Djinn-djinn-genie thing glowed and exploded.
"Listen here buster! Three wishes you get!
No caveats, no more than three. Arabian boy, don't fuck with me!"


You know for certain the princess he had,
Daffodils, lilies, roses and dill.


They shacked up togehter, they're living there still.
Daffodils, lilies, roses and dill.

My stories number one thousand and one.
but let's stop here, we've all had our fun.
Sometimes we all want to head bed,

Minds all exhausted, as heavy as lead.

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19 hours ago, Heathcliff said:

The Devil, he came, to purchase his wares,

Silver and tungsten, puzzling things,

To forcibly construct his wires and springs,

Burn it and turn it to magical rings.

But then, the little lad tending the kiln,

Had a good look and said "Hang on a moment!"

"This person looks a quite worrying chap..."

"Get this person away from me, no-one has aided me!"

"Or set him free to go out on a quest."

Satan got angry, he didn't expect it,
Slipped off his ring, and then coin-like he flipped it,
Said to the boy, who was shaking and scared,
"If it lands on the empty-side up, it's yours, kid"

The boy took the ring, Satan left with a smile,
Saying "humankind tickles me once in a while."

Maybe it’s because I saw a stage performance of Mort a while ago, but this bit is giving me some really strong Terry Pratchett vibes, in the way in which he uses Death as a character. Love it! 

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