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Jane (Multiple Parts) (F) (Gigantic)


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            Jane’s nose was always acting up, for as long as I’ve known her.  At 20, she stood at 5’2 and had long flowing black hair down to her mid back.  Her eyes were dark and she had a pale complexion as well as a small button nose with cute dainty little nostrils, which was ironic because of her sneezes.  

We met in primary school and quickly became friends because of our matching flower skirts.  I soon found out that was one of her most potent allergens.  She always had this roar of a sneeze that just got louder and more resonant with age.  When her physical growth accelerated during puberty, so did her sneeze.  The summer going into her freshman year of college, Jane was curious and took a decibel test.  She stepped into an anechoic chamber with a microphone.  I was with her; my job was simply to make her sneeze.  I used the stem of a dandelion to tickle just the rims of her nostrils.  Jane’s nostrils quickly turned a shade of pink and began to flare wildly, “hheeeehh hhheeeeehh”, she moaned.  “Not yet girl”, I replied.  

Her chest began to heave, and I turned the dandelion around and let the thistles brush her nostrils.  They began to flare even wider and slowly bits of the dandelion were inhaled into Jane’s enlarging nostrils.  “Geeeeeh Get oooh Out Ooooooh Of oouhhhh Hereee”, Jane said.

I left her standing there and closed the door to the chamber.  

“Chamber Clear! Commence Decibel Reading!”, Said the operator

“HaaaaaaaAAAAA---GGGNkkk!!!!!!!”, Jane stifled a rather loud sneeze.

“Peak 85 dB.  Why hold back?”, Asked the operator.  

“Heeeeehhhhhhh It muuh makes tuuh them buuh bigger!  HHHHHAAA-Ggnk!!!”

“Peak 86 dB.  I see” Said the Operator.


“Peak 90 dB”

“hhggnk! Hhhhggnkk! Hhhhhuhhhhhgggnkkkkkk!!!!!”

“Peak 60 dB”

“HUUUHHH its hheeeehh HUUUUhhhhhh Cuuuuuuuhhhhh COMinggggg!”

“Whoa! Peak 70 dB on inhale alone”


“Peak 11-“




“…….Peak…..125 dB”


*operator takes off chamber mic headphones*


“….Peak 13-“




The last one bent Jane double.  She was left gasping for air as all of it was forced out her nose and mouth.

“Peak 143 dB……Miss Lee, you’re louder than a jet engine on a bad day”

To be continued?

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  • 1 year later...
  • 3 weeks later...

I'm late to the party, but i really love this story and these "sneeze experimentation" scenarios, specially when they have to do with the size of said sneezes. 

As a little fun fact, it seems like the biggest sneeze ever recorded so far was 176 db and belonged to a man named Yi Yang, meaning Jane still has quite a bit to grow before claiming the world record.

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  • 1 year later...

Scientific experimentation on someone's sneezes is one of the scenarios that I really enjoy.  Rather impressive that she managed to get up to 143 dB.  Would love to see more experiments performed on Jane's nose :)

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