sneezynyc1885 Posted April 28, 2020 Share Posted April 28, 2020 I'm curious how many of you have shared your fetish and with whom .... no one outside the SF community knows about mine, and I am terrified of being "found out"! lol What have been your experiences? Link to comment
•.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.• Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 oh yeah i've for sure told others. ESPECIALLY when i was a teenlet. my friends and i were all kind of figuring out what the fuck a sexuality was at the same time so we shared all kinds of overpersonal information with each other in the hopes that we could validate each others’s weirdnesses bc none of us really had any access to to like, sexual education or anything, and there wasn’t like all these really cool sex ed resources like on youtube or anything when i was like 13 to 16 so we were really on our own. i’ve disclosed my kink to other people as well, later in life, but mostly only people i’d trust with my life and only if they were steering the conversation in that kind of way like “oh i’m so into wing porn what are you into” or whatever. a lot of that went down in like 2013 to 2015 especially bc at that time tumblr was rife with that sort of culture, you know “real friends link each other kink-specific fanfic” i don’t regret it, it’s kind of fun having that intimate knowledge of what my closest and most dearest best friends are into and that they know what i’m into and have accepted it. for the most part, none of us ever bring the other’s or our own kinks up anymore, tho, we’ve kind of grown out of that vibe. the one person i did wind up telling who’s the only exception that i can think of to those phenomena (other than like, partners. which like to me you HAVE to tell a partner, openness and communication and honesty and trust and everything like that are SO important to having a healthy relationship imo) was this one? taxi driver? i had once? who was so wildly charismatic that by the fifth time i rode in his cab to get to work we already knew each others’ life stories and i knew about the girl he was trying to win back and he know about the coworker i had a big crush on and it was the quickest and most bizarre flash in the pan of a friendship i’ve ever experienced. he told me he was into some weird stuff and i was like “as long as it’s not cannibalism i probably won’t judge you” (bc i had only JUST learned about vore like the week prior and i did not have a very good grasp on it yet) and he admitted to me that he was into emeto and i was like “oh that’s funny i’m into sneezing” and it was just. the whole experience was surreal. SECOND most surreal fetish discussion experience i’ve ever had with someone who was practically a stranger. Link to comment
Travel Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 I've told two friends and my therapist about my kink for scenarios that involve illness/allergies/ailments. They were all very cool about it and it was thanks to them that I was able to discover it and accept it for myself. I almost want to tell some more people who are very close to me but I don't know how or if I should. I'd definitely like to tell a significant other whenever they show up in my life. 😝 Link to comment
Owlinatree Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 i recently told an internet friend, and it went really well! i think it helped my anxiety to not take the fetish or myself too seriously, but rather to think about how silly this all is. similar to q, it was a sort of mutual "i'm into weird shit" convo, which is always fun! Link to comment
nosferatu Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 Every SO I've had. And one or two one-night-stands. And it's always ended well. Great, if I may say so myself. I'm pretty much a lurker in this forum, but I do try to contribute every time I see this question: dude/tte: do it. Tell him/her. Link to comment
AltoFairy Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 similar to Q, my teenage friend squad has a vague idea. I've directly told a couple friends in college. If theres one thing I've learned about tinder, its that once you switch to texting the person, the 'lol what are your kinks' conversation happens QUICKLY, and if I'm into the person I'll spill the beans. Link to comment
TheCakeIsAlive Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 Every SO I've had, a couple of friends... Definitely become more open in more recent years. Never had a negative reaction, but then I the people I hang out with tend to be a very open-minded bunch and there is strong selection about who to tell (is it relevant? Is it the sort of stuff we talk about?). That said, I was so nervous telling my current SO that I was shaking. He was amazing about it. Link to comment
Usagi Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 15 hours ago, sneezynyc1885 said: I'm curious how many of you have shared your fetish and with whom .... no one outside the SF community knows about mine, and I am terrified of being "found out"! lol What have been your experiences? That's something I'd also prefer not happen. So I feel you. Still a lot of my friends know and I dont think anyone would really go out of their way to? Or at least I hope some people Ive met arent that petty. Link to comment
NoV Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 15 hours ago, sneezynyc1885 said: I'm curious how many of you have shared your fetish and with whom .... no one outside the SF community knows about mine, and I am terrified of being "found out"! lol What have been your experiences? Never told anyone outside of the online community and never will. Even with SOs, I would not want them to become self-conscious or lose their natural sneeze around me, because they are now aware of my fetish. Sneezing is purely a fantasy or observational fetish for me, and not actually something I want to introduce into physical sexual relationships. Link to comment
Rhomberg Rabbit Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 1 hour ago, NoV said: Never told anyone outside of the online community and never will. Even with SOs, I would not want them to become self-conscious or lose their natural sneeze around me, because they are now aware of my fetish. Sneezing is purely a fantasy or observational fetish for me, and not actually something I want to introduce into physical sexual relationships. Same with me Link to comment
Guest Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 I told the majority of my close friends, and the conversation was way more relaxed than I was expecting. I didn't want to keep quiet about it until they found out in a way that would make me feel ashamed, so I just told them. They were like "haha that's weird" and they accepted it very quickly lol. Somehow, I think sharing that kind of stuff has made us more intimate with each other, and it helped me feel less like a weirdo. Link to comment
Guest Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 I've told quite a few people and it's usually gone well. In terms of romantic partners, my general rule of thumb is that if you don't feel you can tell them or you don't think they're fetish friendly, and they're above the age of about 18, you shouldn't be with them (or at least you shouldn't be doing anything 18+ with them). Kinks are not a huge deal in the age of Tumblr and RuPaul. There's a lot more sex positivity in most western cultures than there was even ten years ago (at least from my privileged hetero cis perspective). NoV does make a valid point about self conscious restraint and I have learned that you should not reveal this fetish until you have seen a few sneezes from them haha. Link to comment
March Hare Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 I've made it a point to tell the people I have regular sexytimes with, because it usually means better sexytimes. I've also put it on my list of fetishes on Fetlife. (Mind you, twelve years ago I was still regretting telling my then-just-ex and resolving never to tell anyone else ever again. ) Link to comment
l226268 Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 (edited) ~~ Edited August 21, 2022 by quail Link to comment
Guest Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 The majority of my close friends know, and they’ve all been so accepting of it, which I’m really thankful for. I also told a significant other that was very accepting, although we are now just close friends too. Probably the worst part of anyone’s response is their confusion as to why I find something like this attractive, which is obviously expected lol. This fetish has become a major part of my identity so I’m always happy to try to explain it, even if it can be a little awkward sometimes, haha. It was definitely nerve wracking the first time I told someone, but it’s gotten way easier over the years as I’ve ever realized it’s not such a big deal to people. Like a few others said, society has become a lot more sex positive and open minded. That, and I’ve just become so comfortable with it myself. I feel like you just gotta accept that yeah, this fetish is pretty weird, but that’s okay! Like it’s gotten to the point where I could laugh it off no problem if someone was closed-minded enough to legitimately judge me for it. My closer friends and I even like to joke about it every now and then, and to me, that tells me they’ve embraced it in the same way that I have. If I wasn’t okay with it, I know they would respect my boundaries. I think more often than not, people you tell won’t really care all that much. Maybe they’ll think it’s a bit weird or hard to understand, but if people really care about you, they won’t ridicule you for it. I’d say just make sure you feel comfortable enough with someone that sharing something private like this won’t make you or them uncomfortable. It’s obviously not something that should be flaunted left and right lol. More than anything, go at your own pace! If you really don’t feel ready to come out about it, you don’t have to. Sometimes it helps a lot to tell that first person of course, but you should never feel pressured to if you really don’t need to say it. Something as private as a fetish should be at your will of whether you want someone to or not. I feel like I’ve rambled a bit here, but yeah, there’s my two cents! Link to comment
Roza Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 No-one knows it for me irl. Google obviously and my internet provider😂 Never felt the need to share it with any friends. Not the type of person to share eeeeverything, as much as I value them and trust them. As for partners, it would totally ruin it for me, I'm not into inducing not even in fantasies or into scenarios where the partner explicitly enjoys the sneezing. For me, spontaneity and embarrassment play a significant part, so yeah However, I'm not gonna lie, as regards to past SOs, I have felt that something important remains unsaid... and it kind of sucks I think anyone with a long-term relationship where their partner doesn't know can relate, if there's any advice on how to deal with it please share.. But you can't have it all I guess, I think I'm doing what best works for me, although this can totally change, I'm not 100% sure I'll keep this a total secret forever, one year ago I might have said this but not anymore... I just fear regretting it so much... I'll always follow my intuition as most of us do, I think. Good luck to anyone who's sharing! Link to comment
Sneesee Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 I have told a lot of people in my life about it. Lol No immediate family members though. Romantic partners, some co-workers, and friends. I haven’t been actively telling anyone for awhile. I recently let a new co-worker know about it after we went out for drinks one night, and just like everyone else I have ever told, he was super cool about it. My main man of interest has known about it for years, since we were close friends before being able to be together. And he has been super cute about it ever since. I honestly feel like I could never be with anyone intimately if I didn’t feel I could tell them about it. Link to comment
oOMariusOo Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 Well, I envy you. I have spoken to three or four people in my life about it, but it did not go well. One of the people believed that I was lying to him, but by a clever pirouette, I managed to convince him that I was not. One of the people accepted it, but nothing more. Another accepted it, but with mockery afterwards. The last one was my ex partner, she accepted me as I am and was rather curious about fetishism, but I couldn't live the experience with her. I think I needed to talk about it around me. In a way, it was heavy to carry. I talked about it a bit around me in the hope of finding someone who understood me. In the end, even if there was acceptance, I hoped maybe a little more. But most of all, I had the impression of looking crazy, even in the eyes of my loved ones, even after telling me that he accepted it. Since then, I no longer talk about it outside the internet. Link to comment
Just Older Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 (edited) I've told 2 exes, and one of them was great about it. We both had kinks to play with. The other thought it was funny, and teased me about his fresh cut grass allergies but I never once saw a sneeze. I've told a long time friend and he plays along sometimes via text every so often describing a fit he's had recently, and whatnot. My current man is aware as well, and it works out just fine. 😀 In the past, when online dating and the guy would go from zero to a hundred in 3 messages, I'd throw out the "if you can sneeze for me, I'd be so turned on by that!" and I'd never hear from them again. LOL Edited May 4, 2020 by Just Older Spelling Link to comment
BelieveInRollins Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I have told my current boyfriend (and he induces first me occasionally 😁) and 3 of my closest friends that reacted very well...they were just curious and very Interested in it lol Link to comment
Agaba Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I told my boyfriend and my best friend. My bf induces for me, and my best friend is very supportive. Idk why I told them, but I don't regret doing it! Link to comment
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