Dating a man, but prefer female sneezes?

[ScorpionPrincess]

So I have a boyfriend but I am not attracted to his sneezes.  We have been dating many, many years now and I'm not sure why, but up until lately the fetish has never really been too important, just something I indulged in every once in awhile "as needed".  To be honest I am usually more attracted to female sneezes, but I have never been in a relationship with one.  When I was younger I liked male sneezes but as I got older (like, college to now) my preference is mainly female but I am not sure if it is just because there is more female content online or just some weird thing messed up in my brain?  Is anyone else like this? 

[•.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.•]

have you ever considered experimenting with women? it's not uncommon for an attraction to women to develop or reveal itself later in life 

[ScorpionPrincess]

I have but I'm a hermit right now lol.  There are definitely women I find beautiful but an opportunity has just never really presented itself, outside of a few anime conventions where I was super drunk and kissed some girls, but it wasn't really sexual to me.  

[Candy]

I'm bisexual and married to a man. Actually my preference, both in sneezes and in general, is basically "women + my husband" 😅

[ID2006]

My preference has jumped around quite a bit and I feel like I go through phases. A lot of times I notice I'll feel less guilty about reading/watching and turned on by female sneezes/content. Usually in person I am only turned on by male sneezes but in fictional content and vids/wavs get turned on by both. (I'm married and identify as straight but asexual.) 

[Galaxy]

This was exactly how I felt before realizing that I was a lesbian just suffering through compulsive heterosexuality. One thing that really helped to tip me off was that men sneezing irl just absolutely did nothing for me and my "attraction" to men was all in a fictional setting. You may of course be bi with a strong preference for women but I definitely really relate to feeling no attraction to your male partner's sneezing. Idk it's something to consider! 

[Nas]

Have you heard of the lesbian masterdoc? It might be relevant. I identify as bi with like a slight preference for women in fetish contexts. I used to always try to convince myself that I was totally straight and that the fetish is just its own thing, but for me, it told me that I was attracted to women too. I do definitely question my sexuality a lot and go between "maybe I'm just straight and I'm faking it," and "maybe I'm a lesbian and I'm faking it." xP

Labels should definitely empower you and not limit you. 

[Morningsmith]

4 hours ago, Cecilia said:

I used to always try to convince myself that I was totally straight and that the fetish is just its own thing

Same same same. But then in the end, it was a big part of what led me to become open to sex with other men. I totally understand the OP's place in a committed relationship (same there again). But I'll join others in saying that if the fetish opens other doors, even just in how you think of yourself, that can be a wonderful thing.

[ScorpionPrincess]

Thank you guys for the input.  Honestly I went through the lesbian masterdoc and some things were definitely true.  

So, slightly off topic, but I have felt I might be asexual for awhile but I didn't realize maybe i could be asexual AND bi OR asexual AND a lesbian.  I just showed it to my boyfriend of ten years, reading it out loud, and he told me it was an indoctrination document and that all straight women could relate to these things and that they were too general.  We were on maybe page 12 and he argued with literally everything I was reading out loud.  I didn't even know what to say to that other than to call him an insensitive jerk and leave the room.  

We've been on and off a lot the last few years, but jeez.  I just can't with anything anymore.  At least I have an adorable cuddly dog.

[bloom]

5 hours ago, ScorpionPrincess said:

he told me it was an indoctrination document and that all straight women could relate to these things and that they were too general.  We were on maybe page 12 and he argued with literally everything I was reading out loud.

this is incredibly invalidating and unfair to you. absolutely not cool on his part and i am really sorry you had to deal with that. hopefully he either comes to his senses and quits being a dick or there's some other resolution, because you don't deserve that at all.

[Nas]

@ScorpionPrincess  I'm so sorry he acted like that. Sending love. Your sexuality is not for anyone else to define, and you deserve to be treated with respect in any relationship you're in. 

[•.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.•]

just to state the potentially obvious, they are not things that straight women relate to, that's why it is a lesbian document... im so sorry he was so disrespectful and childish towards you!

[ID2006]

So I took a look at the master doc and am too lazy to go through the entire list but thought I'd offer some perspectives as someone who is straight and asexual. I don't identify with almost any of those other than ones specifically connected to sexual intimacy. I do feel attracted to men but at least for me it has almost nothing to do with looks. It's more of a personality thing. For example, I get attracted to certain characters in movies but almost never the actual celebrities. Also, even with my attraction to certain character types, I don't feel attraction to women who fit those (or other) character types. I also desire non-sexual physical touch from men like cuddling, or even just being close to, especially if I know it's not going to lead to sex; whereas I do not desire that from women (unless it's something like I'm really sad and just want a hug type situation). I don't know almost anything about you so have no idea if you are asexual but I want to assure you that even if you are asexual that does not mean you will relate to that document.

I'm sorry your SO was so insensitive. I imagine it is very scary for him to find out his partner may be questioning their sexuality and desire for him but that does not make it okay for him to act that way.

I do feel like I should add that it is possible to be aromantic, where you don't even want romantic relationships but that doesn't sound like the boat you're in.

[skater]

Two years ago I could've written this - dating a man, in fetish contexts only attracted to women. It wasn't until I started dating women that I realized how much I had to force my previous relationships with men. Obviously everyone is different but, for me, my sexual orientation and fetish preferences are not as separable as I used to pretend they were. I hope you're able to experiment and find what makes you happy! 

[Guest]

On 9/28/2020 at 11:37 PM, Cecilia said:

Have you heard of the lesbian masterdoc?

asdghjkjhfds I know it wasn't directed at me, but thanks for bringing that up, I didn't know about it and it blew my mind. I mean I was already aware of the idea of compulsory heterosexuality and wondering if I don't actually like men (i'm pretty secure that I like women), but this just opened a bunch of important doors in my brain. I was confused, and I'm still confused but that's helpful.

 

OP, you're super valid wherever this exploration takes you. it's important to be true to yourself and the thought your putting into it is a good thing and it takes admirable courage. I'm sorry your boyfriend is being so icky and dismissive about it, you don't deserve that.

[BlondeSneezer]

So I'm dating a man and yet guy sneezes don't do it for me. Girl sneezes do. It has less for me to do with attraction. With girls I feel like I'm vicariously enjoying it through them if that makes sense. I don't know how to describe it. 😅

I wish you the best of luck, OP. It sucks when our partners can't just take us as we are. 

[Melody]

I can’t believe I’m bumping this thread but everything said here really resonates with me. I am bisexual with a stronger preference towards men in relationships. I’ve been with women and I can never imagine myself in a romantic relationship with one, only female sexual encounters appeal to me. I think I would miss the male energy in a romantic committed relationship. Interestingly, fetish wise, I consume 70% female content to only about 30% male content. I’ve never heard of the lesbian master doc. Might check it out. Suddenly nervous to challenge the bisexual label I’ve just given myself, but hey, that’s life. In general, I try not to be limited by labels of straightness or bi-ness, at the end of the day I am Just a human attracted to different types of other humans. 

[ScorpionPrincess]

My partner and I broke up and are in an open poly relationship now so I can explore other people sexually but unfortunately I haven't found any other women to explore the fetish with in my area.   At least I have Verity Simone! lol

I can't believe so many other people relate to this.  I recently had a now ex fwb who I lived for his sneezes raining down on my chest so I CAN be attracted to male sneezes, I just can't seem to get off unless there are boobs involved.

[Imgonnasneeze]

This has confused me also sometimes. I have a lot of different things proving I am one sexuality or another and I don’t know what to think.