Female In Space, No One Can Hear You Sneeze (F, 5/?) Updated 11/29/2020

[Blah!?]

So, I've decided to kick it old school and write a comedic space adventure that also has some sneezing. I feel like I've managed to really get back into my casual groove, and writing this has just been a ton of fun. I've kinda been going for something epic in scale but not so epic in stakes, so it's fun and easy the whole way through. I'm kind of amazed it's been so long since I last wrote something sci-fi, I guess that D&D kick was stronger than I thought.

At some points this definitely becomes more about the adventure and the characters than just the sneezing, but personally I like it that way. Hopefully this'll be enjoyable for everyone, let's go!

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Chapter 1

Sitting in a frigid holding cell wasn’t exactly how Athena Anara wanted to spend her evening. Still, master thief that she was, this certainly wasn’t her first time, and she was sure it wouldn’t be her last. For the moment, she only needed a way to pass the time. A surprisingly comfortable cot and the shifting patterns on the cell’s forcefield were her only amenities, however, and boredom quickly took hold.

 

Athena’s nose tickled as she stared up at the immaculate white ceiling. Every jurisdiction she visited seemed to find new ways to mistreat prisoners. She’d been through a lot over the years, but having a tracking device shoved up her nose was different, to say the least. Scrunching up her face, Athena gently rubbed her index finger in a circular motion against her left nostril. It was largely a performative gesture, her nose still tickled all the same, but she couldn’t just ignore it.

 

The sound of footsteps began to approach Athena’s cell. She could immediately tell they were different from the metallic footfalls of the robotic soldiers that crewed and patrolled most of the ship, and that could only mean one thing. Just before her visitor arrived, Athena felt a twinge at the back of her nose. It came on so suddenly that she gave a quiet snort, and rather than prolong the inevitable, she decided to give herself over to it.

 

“Hhh… ahh… hetSHUH!”

 

The sneeze lifted Athena’s head from her pillow just enough for her to catch sight of someone on the other side of the forcefield. After taking a second to rub under her nose again, she sat up and smiled. Just as she’d expected, a tall, violet-skinned woman in uniform stood before her, expression stern but ever so slightly amused.

 

“Bless you, Miss Anara.”

 

Athena chuckled, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

 

“Ah, Captain Mevo. I’m flattered you came to visit me. Here to pay my bail?”

 

The officer’s face shifted to a mirthless smile.

 

“Afraid not.”

 

Athena pouted, letting her hands flop down onto the bed beside her.

 

“But we were getting along so well at dinner. I… I… hhh! E-excuse me, I… I have to… I h-have t-to… ehtCHUUH!”

 

Captain Mevo sighed and pinched the high bridge of her nose. She peered at Athena over her fingers, watching for a moment as her captive desperately rubbed a finger under her flaring nostrils.

 

“Bless you. Things didn’t need to be this way, Miss Anara.”

 

“I know,” Athena mumbled, her voice nasal as she continued rubbing her nose. “You didn’t have to put this thing up my… Hhuh-up my… haaSHUH!”

 

Hanging her head, the captain sighed again.

 

“I suppose this doesn’t mean much coming from me, but it wasn’t my idea. I give you my word it’ll be removed once we’re out of Ovat space.”

 

Sniffing dejectedly, Athena wrinkled her nose and gave it another firm rub.

 

“Thanks, I guess.”

 

Captain Mevo smiled, content to take what she could get. She shifted her heels and clasped her hands behind her back, giving her prisoner a faint albeit more genuine smile.

 

“Well, I think it’s about time we got underway. It was an honor to finally meet you face to face, Athena.”

 

Finally managing to lower her finger away from her nostrils, Athena hugged her knees once more.

 

“You too, Kyase.”

 

“Any requests for your breakfast?”

 

Athena shrugged, glancing off to the side.

 

“Eh, I’m not picky. Ahhactually, do you… D-do you think you could… H-hold on… hh! hett-SHUH! Whew, excuse me. Do you think you could sneeze too? I’m feeling kinda singled out here.”

 

Kyase rolled her eyes, but she smirked as she turned away from the holding cell. After taking a few steps down the corridor, she held up a hand and gave a slight wave.

 

“I’ll send you some tissues.”

 

“Thaaanks, love you!”

 

Kicking out her legs, Athena fell back onto the bed. She folded her arms behind her sapphire hair as she laid down, but only for a moment before sniffing harshly and rubbing her nose anew. While she’d been playing the tickle in her nose up for fun in front of Kyase, the tracking device really was quite bothersome. Curling her index finger, Athena slowly but firmly pressed her knuckle around the edges of her left nostril. She longed for a great big sneeze to send the capsule flying from her nose, but she knew it wouldn’t be that easy. Still, imagining the overwhelming relief made her feel a bit better.

 

As the minutes passed, Athena caught herself dozing off more than a few times. Her senses sharpened somewhat as she felt an almost imperceptible rumble. It gradually intensified over the course of just one second before vanishing, and as an experienced spacer, Athena knew that meant the ship had just jumped to hyperspace. She quickly sat up, rubbing her eyes and then rubbing her nose, confident she could come up with a plan before breakfast.

 

A soft crackling sound reached Athena’s ears, and much to her surprise she saw a flat, wheeled robot simply pass through the forcefield keeping her in her cell. Its entire top surface seemed to be nothing more than a tray, and on top was a plain, unmarked tissue box. Athena’s face lit up.

 

Grabbing a tissue from the robot’s box, Athena immediately blew her nose. She rapidly shook her head to alternate nostrils, and while it did bring much needed relief, she could also feel the tracking device vibrating inside her nose.

 

“Hh… Hh-huhh…”

 

Athena scrambled to fold her tissue over and clamp it back over her nose, feeling a new sneeze coming on. She gently squeezed her nostrils just in time, and she doubled over with a desperate “aahhCHUH!” Blowing her nose again, Athena allowed herself to bend at the waist a second time. Then, she crumpled up her thoroughly used tissue and left it neatly on her pillow for Kyase to find later.

 

With a spring in her step, Athena propelled herself off her bed. She retrieved the tissue box from her robotic visitor, and then she tiptoed behind it as it turned around and headed back toward the forcefield. Hugging the tissue box to her chest, Athena carefully stepped on top of the robot’s tray and squatted down. Making sure to keep her body within the little robot’s silhouette, she held perfectly still and simply waited to be carried through the forcefield.

 

“Thank goodness for the lowest bidder,” Athena mumbled, grinning as she effortlessly passed between the two security robots guarding her cell. She blew one of them a kiss as the delivery robot turned and began to make its way down the corridor, but unfortunately she didn’t get far before the tracking device in her nose began to act up again. Giving an agitated sniff, Athena rubbed an index finger under her nostrils before rapidly transitioning to squeezing her nose between her thumb and forefinger. She knew she’d need to get rid of the capsule at some point, but she’d hoped it wouldn’t become a problem this early.

 

“hhh... hh... huhh! hn-ngxsh!"

 

Firmly holding her nose shut, Athena bobbed forward with a stifled sneeze. She fought hard to keep her balance, but ultimately she managed to stay on top of the delivery robot. If she could at least get through the next door, then she could start making some real progress. Her legs were starting to feel fuzzy, and to make matters worse, a new tickle shot through her left nostril. Athena gasped for breath, and before she could stop herself, she unleashed a powerful “EhttSHUUH!!”

 

Athena tried to shift her weight back in an attempt to counteract the force of her sneeze, but she leaned too far and tumbled off the delivery robot. Free of the excess weight, the little machine zipped away, leaving Athena on her back and looking up at the fast approaching security robots.

 

“Uh, hi guys,” said Athena with a nervous smile. The robots raised their right arms, each one deploying an attached beam weapon. Biting her lip, Athena looked down her body toward the door. She couldn’t assume the ship’s security was so incompetently designed that the detention center doors would simply open for her, so she knew she’d need to catch up to the delivery bot. Flexing her core, Athena quickly lept up to her feet. Her half-asleep legs immediately gave out under her, leaving her to fall flat on her face instead.

 

“Ow…”

 

A laser blast singed the floor beside Athena’s head, nearly making her jump out of her skin. She yelped and scrambled toward the end of the corridor on her hands and knees, gradually lifting herself back up to her feet. Ignoring the lasers flying past her on all sides, Athena sprinted after the delivery bot and dove through the detention center door just as it was about to close. The security robots would surely follow, so Athena kept running. She didn’t know where she was going, but anywhere else was preferable.

 

Throwing herself through another doorway and around a corner, Athena pressed her back against the wall and tried to keep quiet. She could hear the security robots clanking in the distance, uncertain if they were still onto her. Her more immediate problem, however, was the tracking device in her nostril. It seemed to have shifted somewhat, and it was emitting a gentle but constant buzz. Perhaps falling on her face earlier had done something to dislodge it. Deciding to allow herself a sneeze, Athena gently squeezed the base of her nose between her thumb and forefinger, giving a firm but stifled “huhh! h'tngx! h'gk-tsh!”

 

Still holding her nose, Athena blearily opened her eyes and lifted her other hand. To her dismay, a laser had burned clean through her tissue box, leaving nothing but a smoldering hole. She couldn’t be sure how long ago it happened, but there was absolutely nothing useful left. Athena scrunched up her face in frustration and hurled the burnt cardboard at the floor.

 

“My tissues! I needed those! Eh? hhh… hih! hettCHUH!”

Athena slumped back against the wall and furiously rubbed her nose, starting to sniff and snuffle. She briefly waggled the tip of her index finger around the edges of her left nostril, trying desperately to pull out the tracking capsule, but it was still just too far inside for her to reach.

Letting out an irritated groan, Athena pressed the underside of her nose upward with her palm and folded her arms in a huff. Once she opened her eyes, however…

 

“...Oh. Well how about that?”

 

Somehow, Athena managed to accidentally find her way to the ship’s shuttle bay. She didn’t think she’d gone all that far from the detention center. Either this ship was much smaller than she’d expected, or it had been designed by a complete idiot. In all likelihood, probably both. Regardless, Athena pleasantly surprised to find her own ship, the Olympia, impounded just a few meters away. She jogged over to her small, unkempt beauty of a vessel, grin turning to a full-on cackle as she arrived beside it.

 

“Alright. Wakey wakey, Ollie. We’ve got work to do,” Athena said under her breath as she tapped lightly on the Olympia’s hull beside the cargo hold. A small panel slid open, revealing a screen and keypad. The screen flickered to life with a bit of static to display a simple, cartoonish portrait of a cheerful young lady’s face. Ollie shifted between static images of a resting smile and an excited gasp as she recognized her captain.

 

“Hi, Athena! Glad you made it back so soon!” exclaimed the artificial intelligence, her voice natural but somewhat fuzzy. Athena smiled back and gave a little wave before starting to enter a code on the keypad.

 

“Thanks, Ollie. You manage to… M-manage to… H-hold on, I… hih… eh-SHUH!”

 

A hand briefly appeared over Ollie’s gasping mouth before her portrait changed to a more concerned expression.

 

“Gesundheit, Athena! Are you alright?”

 

Athena nodded, shook her head, and then nodded again. She lightly waved a hand at her face, cleared her throat, and then entered the rest of her code.

 

“I’m okay. The drones put some kind of tracking capsule in my nose when they arrested me, and it’s making me… M-making me… heh! Heh!! hhh… Hooh…”

 

“Whew, close one.”

 

“Think you can get us out of here?” Athena choked, scrunching up her face and rubbing hard under her nose. Ollie frowned apologetically.

 

“All systems are operational, but my engines have been locked down.”

 

Athena’s eyes widened in rage. She jogged around to the rear of the Olympia as the cargo bay door slowly lowered.

 

“Oh, she did not give me the boot!”

 

Sure enough, when Athena arrived behind her ship, a pair of large, yellow clamps had been installed over both engine assemblies. She silently thrashed about for a second before giving a pitiful, defeated squeak. While she couldn’t fault Kyase for being thorough, she so desperately wanted to. Kicking over a small box in defiance, Athena ran back to the Olympia’s cargo hold and hopped inside. She climbed a ladder up to the main deck and headed for the cockpit, giving an angry “haettSHUUH!!” as she trudged down the corridor.

 

“Gesundheit, Athena,” Ollie repeated. A new tissue box popped out of the delivery port beside the pilot’s chair, and Athena couldn’t help but smile. She grabbed a tissue and powerfully blew her nose before sitting down and running a hand over the control yoke, if only for the familiar touch.

 

“Thanks, Ollie. Alright, bring us up to full power and heat up the engines. That should get her attention.”

 

“You got it, Athena!”

 

The Olympia rumbled as power washed over the ship, lighting up panels and consoles from the engine room to the cockpit. Display overlays flickered to life on the main viewport, including a larger portrait of Ollie that this time showed her full body, currently in pajamas. Once the ship finished powering up, Ollie’s image flipped and her outfit shifted to a leather jacket and jeans, and her expression to a confident grin.

 

“Ready to roll, Captain.”

 

Athena smiled and wove her fingers together, but before she could respond, a sharp tickle in her left nostril made her snort inelegantly. Scrunching up her face, Athena rubbed her nose for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

 

“Ugh. Good job, Ollie,” she grumbled, her voice nasal as her finger pressed against her nostrils. A distinctive chirp caught Athena’s attention, and she just had time to spot an exclamation point as it appeared on the main display before her eyes clenched shut.

 

“We’re receiving a call from Kyase Mevo,” said Ollie. “I assume you wanted to talk to her.”

 

Athena nodded weakly, alternating between waving a hand at her face and pressing her fingers to her nostrils.

 

“Yeeh… Heh! Y-yhh… hh… hh!! hett-CHUUH!!”

 

When she finally opened her eyes, Athena found herself face to face with Kyase’s scowling face, her officer’s cap slightly tilted but not a hair of her jet-black bob out of place.

 

“Bless you, Miss Anara.”

 

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And that's chapter 1! I actually have a few more done already, but I'm kind of on a roll with writing the next one, so I don't want to throw them all out at once. I'll probably put the next one up soon, though I guess I don't really have a set schedule.

 

Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it! As always, feedback and constructive criticism are more than welcome! And I swear I'll try to actually reply to comments this time.

[Usagi]

Hey this is pretty good! Ive missed seeing your stuff! I'm glad you're still around man! 😀

[Blah!?]

@Usagi Thanks so much, I'm glad you like it! This story has really felt like a return to form to me in some ways, and I've been really happy with it so far. I hope everyone's enjoying it!

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Chapter 2

Captain Kyase Mevo retrieved a cup of tea from the table beside her chair. On the screen before her, one Athena Anara was still tending to her tickly nose, snuffling and snorting away. After letting out a long sigh through her own nostrils, Kyase sipped her tea and waited silently. Eventually, Athena doubled over with a firm “ah-SHUH!” and finally seemed to recover.

“Hey Kyase,” Athena choked, blearily fluttering her eyelids and pressing a finger under her nose. “What’s… What’s up?”

Kyase set her teacup down, crossed her legs, and rested her hands calmly in her lap.

“I won’t insult your intelligence, Miss Anara. We both know ‘what’s up.’”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah. Guess so. Thanks for bringing my ship along, by the way.”

“I’m delighted you’ve had such a touching reunion, but I’m afraid this is where it ends. We’re still well on our way to Alliance space, and even with your own ship you can’t escape. Let’s not have any undue-”

Kyase was interrupted by Athena loudly blowing her nose. Letting out another sigh, Kyase gave her a moment to finish. The sapphire-haired Terran folded her tissue over and gently slid it back and forth under her nostrils, and finally she crumpled up the soft paper and tossed it away.

“Let’s not have any-”

Athena grabbed a new tissue and blew her nose again, even more forcefully than before. Kyase’s lips tightened as she watched Athena gently wrap the tissue around her index finger and then insert it into her left nostril, clearly still attempting to remove the tracking capsule. The captain took a deep, frustrated breath, her own slit-like nostrils flaring to a pair of large ovals.

“Athena, if you truly wish to spend your last moments as a free woman picking your nose-”

“Oh!” Athena stammered, shooting upright in her chair and blushing furiously. “Oh! Forgot you could see me, terribly sorry about that!”

“No more games, Athena. Let’s resolve this with some dignity.”

After giving her nose one more thorough rub through her tissue, Athena smirked.

“On the contrary, I’m just getting started. You ready, Ollie?”

Resting her chin in one hand, Kyase drummed her fingers on the armrest of her chair as Athena’s AI acknowledged her.

“Good to go, Athena! Just say the word!”

Rubbing her hands together, Athena chuckled and rocked back and forth in her chair. Kyase blinked slowly, her flared nostrils betraying her annoyance.

“Alright, drop us out of hyperspace right… About… Now!”

To Captain Mevo’s horror, she felt the ship shudder as it did in fact return to sublight speed. 

“If I can’t use my engines, I’ll just have to use yours,” said Athena with a wink. “I’ve put us into a decaying orbit around, let’s see… Ah, Apith-2. Still in the process of being terraformed. Air’s breathable, but it’s definitely not gonna be pretty down there.”

Kyase gritted her teeth and leaned forward.

“You’re going to hold this ship hostage, Athena? The ship that you’re still on?”

Athena threw back her head with a grin.

“Ha! No, of course not. I’m holding you hostage. I don’t care about this ship, and neither do you. You said this ship, not my ship. Frankly I think I’m doing you a favor. A captain of your stature deserves a mightier class of vessel than this drone carrier.”

Resisting the urge to punch her armrest, Kyase closed her eyes and sat back calmly.

“I don’t believe you’ll really kill us both if I don’t simply let you go.”

Athena smiled and shrugged.

“I’d prefer it not be today, but I do plan to die on my feet. As for you, you know my style, I’ve never killed anyone. I’m confident you’ll make the right choice.”

Kyase finished her tea and set the empty cup down on her table.

“Well, Athena… It’s been a pleasure-”

“Come on, Kyase!” Athena interrupted, slamming her fist down on her own armrest. “Just unlock my engines, please!”

Captain Mevo closed her eyes and folded her arms.

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please with chocolate on top?”

“N- Chocolate? What’s chocolate?”

Athena gasped incredulously, leaping out of her chair.

“You’ve never had chocolate? It’s a Terran delicacy! I’ll get you some next time we have a dinner date!”

Kyase punched her armrest in turn and roared.

“That was not a date!”

A sudden rumble sent her falling back into her chair, her officer’s cap askew over her eyes. The teacup crashed to the floor, and by the time Kyase righted herself, Athena was looking away from her display and frantically hitting buttons on her control console.

“Oh yeah, we’re crashing, by the way. Better get to your escape p ah… aah… aahhh… attSHUH!”

Just as Athena sneezed, Captain Mevo’s chair disappeared into the floor, bringing her along with it and leaving her cap hanging in the air for half a second. Dim lights flickered on all around her, and Kyase found herself in a small lifeboat, stocked with everything she’d need to survive for a week in space or on an uncharted planet. Her head falling back against her chair, she groaned in utter defeat as the lifeboat launched itself out the bottom of the ship, quickly diverting itself away to avoid being crushed. 

The reflection of Kyase’s pale violet face stared back at her as she watched her ship descend into Apith-2’s atmosphere, and before long the lifeboat began to do the same. She knew Athena had been right about her ship, and that only made her angrier. If she had an actual crew rather than a horde of literally mindless drones, she knew Athena never would have crashed the entire ship just to make a daring escape. Unable to do anything else, Kyase covered her face with both hands and allowed herself a brief, pitiful scream.

Captain Mevo’s lifeboat touched down clumsily but safely in what appeared to be a massively overgrown jungle. The escape pod’s sensors were completely fried, so she had no way to properly judge her environment. Kyase opened the lifeboat’s survival kit and checked its contents. Rugged clothes, a week’s worth of food and water, plus an emergency sidearm and other equipment of dubious use. ‘Built by the lowest bidder,’ as Athena would surely say. 

Rolling her eyes, Kyase pulled on a coat over her uniform, and with a flick of her wrist, a virtual display appeared on her forearm. The survival coat had its own short-range sensors, and fortunately Kyase was able to confirm that Apith-2’s air was indeed safe to breathe. She was also picking up a faint transmission from the edge of her scanner’s effective area. With a confident grin, Kyase slung the survival kit over her back and charged out of the lifeboat. She’d capture Athena Anara yet.

The hot, humid air immediately made Kyase start to sweat. The lifeboat wasn’t even out of sight yet and she already felt overdressed, but she needed the coat’s scanners, and she had no idea what other dangers might be waiting for her. Captain Mevo’s biggest foe, however, was quite literally right under her nose.

Apith-2’s jungle wasn’t too different from those one might find on Inor or Terra, though a few deliberate changes had been made in the terraforming process. Most notably, the newly seeded plant life had been altered to grow at a dozen times the normal rate until a control substance was released into the atmosphere. As a result, Apith-2’s flora was pollinating out of control.

The farther Kyase pushed into the jungle, the denser the pollen became. She absently waved a hand at her face every now and then, completely uncaring that little clumps of yellow were collecting on the broad, flat underside of her nose. The environment on Inor was harsh and dust storms were frequent; Kyase’s long nostrils were incredibly narrow and her breathing was much slower than the average Terran’s. But, ultimately she did still need to breathe all the same. Once enough pollen found its way up into Captain Mevo’s nose, her thin, slit-like nostrils flared enormously, and…

“hHAETSH!!"

Kyase doubled over with a harsh sneeze, her officer’s cap slipping slightly. Placing the side of her index finger at the base of her nose, she gave her nostrils a single upward flick to wipe the collected pollen away. She assumed that would be the worst of it, but she could barely take another step toward Athena’s tracking signal before she found herself at the mercy of another “AESCCH'hh!!”

Much to Captain Mevo’s dismay, the tickle in her nose persisted. She recalled a touch of seasonal allergies in her academy days as she firmly rubbed two fingers back and forth under her nostrils. Apparently she’d been in space for so long that she’d very nearly forgotten. Groaning quietly to herself, Kyase lightly flicked the tip of her nose up once more and then shook her head, refusing to allow herself such a pitiful weakness. 

Only a moment later, Kyase was back to rubbing furiously as she trudged through the foliage. Even as her long nose bent and squashed from side to side, the tickle would not abate. Her pale violet skin had taken on a slightly darker shade of purple at her cheeks and around her nostrils, which were now thoroughly blocked.

“You’ll pay for this, Athen ah… ahh...? HAESSCHT!!"

After another bout of distracted nose rubbing, Kyase finally remembered to check her scanner. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she discovered she was right on top of Athena’s signal, and she’d somehow reached the edge of the jungle without even noticing. Taking cover behind a large tree, Captain Mevo peered out into the almost blinding sunlight. The jungle ended abruptly in a perfectly straight line, giving way to a barren desert. Once her eyes adjusted to the light, Kyase could see the wreckage of her ship barely fifty meters away, and she could just make out the silhouette of a person clambering around on top of it. She checked her sidearm and set it to stun, and then she sprinted out of the trees.

Kyase managed to make it to the crashed ship without catching Athena’s attention. Surely the thief would have made some snide remark if she’d noticed. Crouching behind a large piece of debris, Captain Mevo occasionally peeked around at her quarry. Athena seemed to be digging through the wreckage for something, though Kyase couldn’t even begin to guess as to what.

“hhetCHUH!”

Athena sneezed suddenly and nearly fell from the top of the downed ship. Clearly she hadn’t gotten rid of her tracking device yet. Kyase couldn’t help but smirk, but as if on cue, the tickle in her own nose began to grow as well. Sinking down in her hiding place, she desperately clamped her free hand over her nose and mouth. Kyase was all too aware of the fact that she could never hold her sneezes in, but she had to try. She held her breath for as long as she could, but eventually it escaped her and she began to inhale slowly and deeply in preparation for…

"AAATSH'hu!!”

“Whoa!” Athena gasped, nearly falling all over again. “That you, Kyase?”

Captain Mevo knew she’d been had, but she remained too stubborn to let herself sneeze again without putting up a fight. Her thin nostrils flared wide, and she tried to squeeze them shut. Kyase’s broad, soft nose squished between her thumb and forefinger, but it simply wasn’t enough. Athena’s commentary certainly didn’t help.

“Sneeze once for ‘yes,’ twice for ‘no’!”

“ha'KiSHHT-choo!!”

To her own amazement, Kyase almost held that one in. Nevertheless, her face was hot with humiliation as she heard Athena hop down from the wreckage.

“Gesundheit! Glad you made it!”

Once Athena’s footsteps through the sand came into earshot, Kyase lept out from behind the debris and took aim. Athena immediately threw up her hands with a startled squeak.

“Ho okay. Okay! I can see you’re mad-”

“Quiet,” Kyase interrupted, her nostrils flaring both due to rage and the pollen still inside. She could barely utter another word before she suddenly thrust forward with a powerful “AESCCH'hh!!”

“Gesundheit-”

“Quiet! Look at what you’ve wrought, Athena! I was going to recommend the court be lenient, but now I… I… AAESCHHT!!”

“Gesundheit. You got hay fever or something, Kyase?”

“It’s not-!” Captain Mevo snarled before catching herself. She closed her eyes for a second and tried to calm her nerves, though her nostrils were still flaring of their own accord.

“I don’t want to hear another word, Athena. You’re under arrest.”

Athena shrugged, pursing her lips.

“Okay, but how do you plan to get me back to Alliance space? The only working ship around here with a hyperdrive is-”

“I said that’s enough! We’ll use the wreckage for shelter, and we wait for rescue. No more, no less.”

Athena pursed her lips again and glanced performatively off to the side.

“Well that’s great and all, but we probably only have about ten minutes before that gets here…”

Her arms still raised above her head, Athena pointed to her left with both hands. Kyase couldn’t help but look, and what she saw might have been awe-inspiring if it wasn’t so terrifying. A low-orbit satellite was sweeping across the sky and firing a bright terraforming beam into the ground. Just as Athena suspected, it was heading straight for the crashed ship, and it was approaching surprisingly quickly. Kyase turned back to Athena, keeping her weapon trained on the Terran, but she was clearly wrestling with herself.

“Unlock my ship and I’ll get us into space, then you can arrest me after,” said Athena, her voice unexpectedly serious and genuine. Kyase scrunched up her face and gritted her teeth. She knew she’d already made up her mind, but she wasn’t sure if she’d ever forgive herself for it.

“Fine! Fine! But you’re taking us directly to Alliance Command!”

Athena grinned and nodded, immediately turning to run into the crashed vessel.

“You got it, Captain!”

“If you actually planned all of this in advance, you’re a genius, and I hate you.”

Kyase followed Athena to the Olympia, unable to keep from wrinkling her nose at the ship’s disheveled state. Nevertheless, she immediately jogged to the rear of the ship, connecting her coat’s computer to the restraints on the engines. After entering half a dozen different passkeys, the restraints disengaged and crashed to the ground, and Kyase and Athena both ran into the Olympia’s cargo bay. They stepped onto an elevator at the back of the hold, and both ladies found themselves a bit tickled and distracted as they ascended toward the main deck.

“hettSHUH!”

“AATSCHHT!!”

Athena smiled after she and Kyase sneezed simultaneously.

“Gesund-”

“Quiet.”

Once they reached the top of the lift, Athena and Kyase ran toward the cockpit. Athena threw herself into her chair, and Kyase stood just behind it. As Athena made the last few preparations for takeoff, Kyase quietly closed her eyes and sighed. She knew Athena would find some way to finagle her way out of trouble, she always did.

The Olympia’s main guns fired through the wall ahead, clearing a path for the ship to escape. Before the dust could settle, Athena immediately slammed the throttle forward and sent her ship hurtling out of the wreckage, very nearly flying straight into the terraforming beam. Kyase’s knuckles went white on the back of Athena’s chair as the Terran swerved away at the last second, and then the Olympia gently ascended through Apith-2’s atmosphere and back into space. Once they were safely in orbit, Athena put her hands behind her head and grinned smugly.

“I’m an excellent pilot, I know. You’re welcome.”

Beside her, Kyase was struggling with yet another sneeze. Athena smiled in genuine sympathy, allowing her a moment to finish.

"nhhh.... hahh- ah.. ah? hhah! hAEESCH!!”

“Gesundheit, Kyase.”

Captain Mevo sighed, her eyes still gently shut. She kneaded her long, squishy nose between her thumb and forefinger for a moment before shifting to rub back and forth under her nostrils. Finally, she straightened up and took a deep breath, flaring her nostrils to enjoy the Olympia’s clean air.

“Thank you. Now, you know what to do.”

Athena gave a nod and turned to her navigation console.

“Yes ma’am.”

Kyase watched the ship’s main display as Athena entered a set of hyperspace coordinates, and her face immediately snapped to a scowl.

“Do you think I’m an idiot!? That’s not Alliance Command!”

Athena ignored her, whistling innocently as she activated the hyperdrive. Just as the ship jumped, Kyase threw herself toward the chair and tried to shove Athena out of it. Athena pushed back, and before long they were both wrestling around on the floor, leaving Ollie to watch in dismay. Before she could interrupt on her own, an incoming call notification appeared in the middle of the main viewport.

“Uh, Athena? We’re receiving a call from, um… Well, it’s from the Alliance Star Force…”

-----

That's all for now! I think chapter 3 might be my favorite so far, so if you're having fun, make sure you tune in again next week!

Edited October 18, 2020 by Blah!?

[NickG1998]

I can’t wait for chapter 3 I’m absolutely hooked on this awesome  story keep up the amazing work 

[poiub]

Loving it

[Usagi]

Whoa a new chapter so fast! Nice nice! The sneezes were more sudden in this one, but I still enjoyed for story! Good from you as always!

Edited October 18, 2020 by Usagi

[Blah!?]

@poiub @NickG1998 Thanks, glad you're enjoying this! Hopefully you'll like this chapter too!

@Usagi Thanks so much! Yeah, I wanted Athena and Kyase to have fairly different sneezes, so Kyase's have much less of a buildup, plus this chapter was more from her perspective. There'll be plenty of back and forth from them in the future.

Here's chapter 3! Very slight messiness warning for this one, but I don't think it's anything too extreme. Hope you all enjoy!

-----

Chapter 3

Ollie’s face changed to an expression of worry as the call notification continued to flash beside her. By this point Captain Mevo had straddled Athena in the middle of the cockpit floor, but she was struggling to keep her target down.

 

“Ollie, pick up the-!” Athena tried to shout, but Kyase suddenly placed both hands on the side of her face, squishing her cheek. Uselessly waggling her tongue for a second, Athena tried to pry Kyase’s hands off of her with one of her own, while aimlessly swinging the other at her opponent’s face.

 

“You’re going to change our heading for Alpha Centauri this instant!” Kyase hissed, clenching her jaw as she leaned in close. Athena ineffectually pawed at Kyase’s face with her free hand, causing her to back off just enough to escape.

 

“Do you understand!?” Kyase barked again, her nostrils flaring furiously. Seizing the opportunity, Athena extended her middle and index fingers and shoved them right up Kyase’s nose. The Inor froze in place for a moment as she struggled to process what had just happened, and then she gave a brief but earsplitting shriek as she recoiled.

 

“Ollie, answer the call!” shouted Athena, finally managing to push Kyase’s hands off of her face.

 

“No, don’t-!” Kyase tried to protest, but Ollie was beholden only to her captain. The incoming call indicator vanished, and the previously chaotic cockpit was plunged into an awkward silence before the Alliance operator finally spoke up.

 

“Attention vessel, an automated Alliance distress signal has been detected in your sector. As you are the closest operational ship, you are hereby ordered to provide assistance.”

 

Kyase sat bolt upright, Athena’s fingers still invading her nostrils. She coughed and cleared her throat, and she nervously tried to interject.

 

“Alliance Command, this is Captain Kyase Mevo. I’ve already been… Rescued…”

 

The final word stuck to Kyase’s tongue like a bad taste. Athena smirked, barely reacting as Kyase tried to push her face into the floor again.

 

“Understood,” replied the operator. “Is Athena Anara still in your custody?”

 

“Yes. And I’m en route to you right now.”

 

“Your heading does not appear to match the coordinates of any Alliance Command facility.”

 

Athena suddenly stood up, despite Kyase’s attempts to keep her down. She finally whipped her hand away from Kyase’s face to buy herself a few seconds, causing the Alliance officer to tumble over and sneeze a powerful “AAESCHT!!”

 

“Sorry about that, Alliance Command. I’m Annie Smith, owner of this vessel. Don’t you worry, that dastardly Athena Anara is secure in our brig, but we don’t have enough fuel to make it to Alpha Centauri in one jump. We’re just stopping at Kestrel-3 to top up, and then we’ll be on our way as soon as possible.”

 

The Alliance operator paused for a moment, though not long enough to make Athena worry.

 

“Acknowledged. An Alliance Star Force vessel will rendezvous with you at Kestrel-3. Do not dock with the station, maintain a standard orbit until you are contacted.”

 

Athena smiled, a victorious twinkle in her eye.

 

“You got it. Happy to be of service.”

 

Kyase shakily pushed herself up to her feet, leaning against the pilot’s chair for support. Her eyes closed in defeat, she dejectedly rubbed an outstretched finger back and forth under her ticklish nose, unsure if she felt another sneeze coming on or if she was only disoriented.

 

“Indeed,” the Alliance operator continued. “You will defer to Captain Mevo until you’re relieved of your prisoner, then you may go about your business.”

 

Hearing her name, Kyase quickly snapped to a nervous salute.

 

“Is there a reward-?” Athena tried to ask, but the transmission ended with no response. She let out an enormous sigh of relief, and almost immediately she reared up again and gave a strong “hettSHUUH!!” Wrinkling her nose, Athena started to bring her fingers up for a rub, but then she remembered where they’d been. Glancing down at her hand in disgust, she spent far too long staring at the pale blue sticky substance that coated her middle and index fingers. Athena tried to wipe her hand on Kyase’s uniform, but the officer slapped her wrist away.

 

“Hey! They’re your boogers!” Athena protested. Kyase tried to keep her composure, but as usual her nostrils started to flare in frustration.

 

“And you stuck your hand there by yourself.”

 

“I was trying to poke you in the eyes!”

 

“Forgive me if that doesn’t make me feel any better! And I can only assume we’re not going to Kestrel-3, are we?”

 

Athena blew a raspberry as she turned and walked out of the cockpit. Kyase stomped along after her, not sure where she was going but refusing to let the Terran out of her sight.

 

“I meant what I said about not having enough fuel to get to Alpha Centauri, but yeah, no. We’re not going to Kestrel-3.”

 

Kyase sighed, pinching the high bridge of her nose.

 

“Well, where are we going? Unless of course it’s beneath you to tell me.”

 

Athena smiled almost apologetically as she stepped into the washroom and began to rinse off her hands.

 

“Just a little stop at Lucent Station. Need to refuel, plus I’ve gotta do something about this,” Athena explained, tapping the left side of her nose. Kyase frowned, and her frustration only intensified when she suddenly bobbed forward with a powerful “hhAEESCH!!”

 

“Gesundheit,” said Athena in an unexpectedly soft voice. Kyase forced one eye open to glare at her as she slowly but firmly rubbed a finger under her tickly nose, clearly still working out Apith-2’s pollen. Athena held up her hands defensively and stepped around to the side.

 

“Here, how about you take a shower? I know my word as a space pirate probably doesn’t mean anything to you, but then you can just walk right into that room across the hall, and I promise I won’t bother you. There’s a nice bed, and you can just relax. I’ll let you off at Lucent, or whatever you want to do. Okay?”

 

Kyase folded her arms and kept up a blank expression. She almost seemed calm, but after spending only a couple hours together, Athena could already tell the tight lips and enormous nostrils meant she was furious. Putting up her hands again, Athena shook her head penitently and backed away.

 

“Alright, uh… I’m gonna go, and you can do what you like. I still won’t go in that room, though, so if you wanna be alone, you can just… You know… Slide on over… Or suhh… hh… hih! Eh-excuse me… I-hhtSHUH! hh! ehttCHUUH!”

 

Once she was alone, Kyase contorted in rage, lifting one foot off the floor and running her hands up the sides of her now-disheveled black hair. She opened her mouth to scream, but the knowledge that Athena would likely hear kept her silent. Eventually she began to furiously undress, throwing her uniform into a heap in the corner, and then she sat on the floor in the shower for what felt like hours.

 

Water trickled down the slope of Kyase’s nose and dripped from her broad, flat septum, occasionally tickling her soft skin enough to warrant a sniff and a scrub with the side of her hand. Well, it was either the shower or she’d finally allowed herself to shed a few tears. Truthfully she wasn’t entirely certain. Otherwise, the shower was actually quite comfortable. Kyase tossed back her head and allowed the water to cascade over her face, and after a moment she stood and finally washed herself properly.

 

Kyase waited almost a full minute after shutting off the water before peering out into the washroom to make sure Athena wasn’t lurking about. She dried herself off and pulled on the base layer of her uniform, tucking her cap and jacket under her arm as she cautiously approached the door. Another cautious peek, and then Kyase very nearly leapt across the corridor in a single bound. Once she was inside the guest quarters, she let her head fall back against the door with a heavy sigh.

 

A box of tissues sat atop the pillow of the bed, along with something Kyase didn’t recognize. She placed her cap and folded jacket on the bedside table before sitting down, and then she immediately but begrudgingly grabbed a tissue. Wet hair always seemed to go hand in hand with a few sniffles for her, so she eagerly blew her nose before turning her attention to the other item Athena had left.

 

‘Esca Extra Fancy Dark Chocolate.’

 

Kyase frowned and wrinkled her nose as she turned the little package back and forth in her hand. She cautiously peeled back the wrapper, and a faint, unfamiliar fragrance immediately made her nostrils flare in anticipation. Closing her eyes, Kyase shook her head and began to lower the chocolate away from her face, but before she could set it down, her stomach growled. Her eyes snapped open and her face flushed a dark purple in embarrassment, even with no one around to see her. Staring fearfully at the door, Kyase took a slow, nervous bite of the chocolate bar.

 

It was unlike anything Kyase had ever tasted before. It was almost difficult to bite into, but it quickly began to melt in the heat of her mouth. Bitter and a little sweet all at the same time, it was divine. Before she knew it, Kyase had closed her eyes and rested her free hand on her cheek. She very nearly let out a content moan before stopping herself, glancing back at the door, and finally swallowing.

 

Kyase felt a strange, fluttery tickle in the farthest reaches of her nose. It gradually filtered down toward her nostrils, prompting her to give them a casual rub with her index finger. Kyase tried to ignore the irritation and take another bite, but her thin nostrils shot wide open, and…

 

“AASCHHT!!”

 

After sneezing into a cupped hand, Kyase shook her head and rubbed under her nose again, slower and more thoroughly this time. Thinking nothing of it, she took another bite of the chocolate. She savored it for as long as she could, but shortly after swallowing…

 

“eh? ESSCHuh!!"

 

While Kyase was a bit concerned about her sudden sneezing, if she was being completely honest, all she wanted to do was eat her chocolate. She cycled through taking a bite, sneezing, and flicking her eyes toward the door again and again until the chocolate bar was depleted.

 

“hh! hhAETSCH! hh-hAAESCH!! hh... hahh… hhhhhhh!!! hAA-ATSCHHuh!!”

 

Athena meant it when she said she’d give Kyase her privacy, but she hadn’t expected her guest to be such a loud sneezer. She jumped a little when Kyase let out a big one just as she was passing by the guest quarters, and she couldn’t help but chuckle. Once the Olympia was given clearance by Lucent Station, Athena stretched her arms and sat down at the controls to guide her ship in manually.

 

“Docking bay ninety four,” said Ollie, gesturing casually to the station through the viewscreen. Athena nodded, tilting the control yoke to keep the ship on course.

 

“Ninety four. You get an appointment with Sheeg?”

 

“He can see you as soon as we’ve docked. He also said ‘you better pay upfront this time.’”

 

Athena chuckled nervously.

 

“Oh Sheeg, you card. Ha. ha? hh! aahtCHUH!! Ugh… Fine. Get us fuelled up as soon as we’re connected too. I don’t think we’ll be in any hurry to get out of here, but… Well… Nevermind.”

 

“You got it, Athena.”

 

The Olympia shuddered gently as it connected with the docking port. Once Athena ensured everything was in order, she hopped out of her chair, rubbing her hands together excitedly. She slowed to a stop as she approached the guest quarters, bringing up a hand to knock, but she ultimately decided to leave Kyase alone like she promised. Before she could continue on her way, however…

 

“hh! hih! hettSHHieew!”

 

Athena cupped both hands over her nose as she sneezed, and when she opened her eyes, she found herself face to face with Kyase. The Inor was giving her a stern, half-lidded stare with her lips pulled tight in a serious frown.

 

“Bless you,” Kyase said flatly. Athena nodded slowly.

 

“Th-thanks… Hi, Kyase.”

 

“Hello. I take it we’ve arrived.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’m going with you.”

 

Athena relaxed ever so slightly, lowering her hands away.

 

“You want to?”

 

Kyase closed her eyes and flared her nostrils with a sigh.

 

“I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

 

“Then by all means, come along. But! Um… We should probably find you some other clothes. There’s some folks here who won’t be impressed with the, uh… Uniform.”

 

Kyase resumed her unimpressed scowl.

 

“You don’t say.”

 

After a moment of scrounging, Athena managed to find a suitable outfit for her companion. Kyase wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of borrowing clothes from an interstellar criminal, but she understood that discretion was the better part of valor. Both Athena and Kyase dressed themselves in leather jackets, jeans and combat boots of varying colors, though the latter was further dismayed by the faded ‘I heart NY’ shirt. Athena insisted, and Kyase was tired of arguing.

 

“Do you entrust everything to back-alley doctors?” Kyase scoffed, hands in her pockets as she walked beside Athena. The Terran shrugged.

 

“Sure, let me just hop over to the nearest Alliance colony so they can charge me half a million credits to stick a pair of tweezers up my nose. Besides, Sheeg is ex Ovat Imperial Guard, he knows what he’s doing.”

 

Athena pushed through a silk curtain hanging over an open doorway, leading Kyase into a small medical clinic. The officer immediately surveyed the room, taking in as much detail as she could. It probably wouldn’t pass Alliance sterilization checks, but it was much cleaner than she expected.

 

“Hey, Sheeg! It’s Athen… Ahh… aah… ahtCHUH!”

 

The instant Athena sneezed, a large, crimson slug-like creature burst through the door at the back of the room, bellowing out a series of grunts and groans. Kyase’s Standard Ovat was a bit rusty, but she understood his reprimands well enough.

 

“Yeah, I know,” Athena sighed, rubbing a finger under her nose in defeat. “Ollie told you what happened, though. Can we just… Just… hh! hehtSHUUH!!”

 

Sheeg grumbled, prompting Kyase to fold her arms.

 

“She said she’s not letting me out of her sight,” Athena choked, delicately massaging the sides of her nose. Sheeg rolled his eyestalks, but he ultimately ushered both ladies into the back room.

 

Once inside, Athena sat in the chair in the center while Kyase stood silently in the corner. Without much fanfare, a pseudopod extended from the side of Sheeg’s body and selected a small set of tweezers from a tray on the counter. Kyase’s brow furrowed as she watched. The Ovat hardly seemed to be paying attention as he reached into Athena’s nostril and grabbed the tracking device. The Terran chuckled nervously as the tweezers began to slowly, carefully recede from her nose.

 

“Whew, this isn’t so BAAAA’HAD!”

 

Kyase jumped as Sheeg suddenly pulled the capsule out of Athena’s nostril with a swift tug. Athena doubled over in the chair, covering her nose with both hands and breathing heavily. Staring nervously at the Ovat physician, Kyase had no choice but to obey when he beckoned her over. He held out the pair of tweezers and Kyase brought up a hand without thinking. Before she could realize what was happening, Sheeg simply dropped the tracking device into her palm, along with a few tangled nose hairs. Kyase took a second to process, and then she jumped back with a silent scream, flailing both hands in disgust.

 

Despite her earlier insistence on keeping a close eye on Athena, Kyase fled back to the waiting room. She paced around in a circle to take her mind off of what had just happened, and Athena came to join her after settling up with Sheeg. The Terran was in surprisingly dim spirits, shoulders hunched as she delicately rubbed a finger under her nose.

 

“You couldn’t have done that yourself?” Kyase asked, straightening herself up and trying to regain her composure. Athena sighed, looking down at her feet as she shuffled out of the clinic.

 

“I guess. I just didn’t know if it was gonna explode or something.”

 

She gave a loud snort, earning a frown from her companion.

 

“Don’t do that,” Kyase scolded, wrinkling her own nose. Athena groaned, starting to rub her nose more vigorously.

 

“But I can’t help it! I’m glad I got that thing out, but it’s… Ihh-it’s… hh! hhhtCHUUH! Ugh, itchy nose!”

 

“Bless you,” Kyase mumbled, briefly glancing at Athena before avoiding eye contact. “So… What do we do now?”

 

“I dunno. Wanna get some dinner? Or... Breakfast? I don’t even know what time it is.”

 

The station rumbled, bringing both Athena and Kyase to a stop. A few shakes and shudders weren’t uncommon, but they knew something was wrong. Athena slowly brought her hand up to her ear and touched the lobe with two fingers as she continued to scan the environment.

 

“Ollie? How we doing on fuel?” she asked in a hushed voice.

 

“Forty percent,” Ollie replied. “About half an hour till we’re full.”

 

“That can get us to another station. Maybe we better-”

 

A metal panel suddenly burst out of the floor a few meters ahead, punched out of the way by a clenched fist that protruded from the open space. Athena and Kyase backed away as an imposing figure gracefully maneuvered its way out of the hole in the ground. Their features were indeterminate: a helmet and visor covered most of their head and face. At this distance, all Athena and Kyase could make out were dim neon green lights running up and down the figure’s metallic body.

 

“Another friend of yours?” asked Kyase. She reflexively reached for her hip, quickly remembering she no longer had a weapon. Athena swallowed nervously, slowly shaking her head.

 

“Afraid not.”

 

-----

 

And that's all for now! I hope this one didn't get too weird, but honestly my philosophy for this story has been trying not to worry about that so much or let myself get hung up on it, so I've just kinda embraced the weirdness, and there'll be plenty more to come.

 

Unfortunately I have slowed a bit in writing the future chapters, which is why I waited a bit longer to post this one, but I do still have one more fully written after this, plus another about halfway done and ideas for a few more. I really hope I can keep this one going, at least through what I've thought of so far. Just a heads up.

 

Thanks for reading!

[Blah!?]

I suppose I've dragged my feet long enough...

Chapter 4

Athena slowly turned her eyes toward Kyase, silently pleading for a suggestion. Clenching her jaw, Kyase scowled and flared her nostrils.

 

“Don’t look at me like that! We should just go back to your ship.”

 

“I don’t know, maybe they’re friendly!” Athena replied in a firm whisper. She returned her gaze to the lithe, robotic figure. A pair of glowing green eyes stared back from behind her helmet’s visor. Summoning the extent of her courage and dumb luck, Athena smiled, waved and took a step forward.

 

“Um, hello! I’m A-”

 

In one swift motion, the neon shadow sank into a fighting stance and produced a short baton from behind her back, her long, dark ponytail swaying side to side. Athena jumped when the baton extended into a meter-long blade, and again when a bright green glow appeared along the edge, giving off a menacing hum. Her mouth agape, Athena limply shook her head.

 

“Nuh-uh.”

 

Kyase followed as Athena sprinted away.

 

“Hey! Where are you going? Maybe they’re friendly!”

 

Athena looked back over her shoulder and screamed when she saw the assassin in hot pursuit, practically flying through the air.

 

“I was gonna say ‘maybe they’re friendly, or they’re gonna do that thing where they stand there until you make a move, and then they get you!’”

 

Kyase didn’t have time to argue as an ocean blue Ovat pushed a food cart across the alleyway ahead. She just managed to weave around it while Athena leapt over, leaving the Ovat to curse at them for a second before their pursuer bisected the cart with a single stroke. Kyase looked back to see if the Ovat was unharmed, and while she couldn’t be sure, the assassin was still right on their tail.

 

“Looks like the Alliance aren’t the only ones after you!”

 

Athena gawked, pointing at Kyase as she ran.

 

“Oh yeah? Maybe they’re after you!”

 

“Well, I’m aiding and abetting a criminal at this point, betraying everything I’ve ever lived for…”

 

“Sheesh! Could you guilt trip me a little harder before we die, please!? Ollie! Could use a little help right about now!”

 

“Sorry, Athena!” Ollie replied. “Station security has picked up on the disturbance, and they’re dispatching drones now.”

 

“Well, they’d better hurry up-!”

 

Athena suddenly flew off her feet as the assassin grabbed her jacket from behind. She immediately drew her sidearm, but a swift kick sent the weapon flying from her hand. Looking back over her shoulder, Athena finally managed to get a good look at her pursuer. She was a particular model of high-performance cyborg, with pale gray synthetic skin, and green and black form-fitting armor covering her entire body beyond her head and chest. In fact, as far as Athena could tell, it was her body. She stared silently down at Athena, her defined, androgynous features utterly expressionless.

 

The assassin drew back a hand, holding her blade even with Athena’s head. She still had a hint of fear in her gaze, but Athena managed to take a deep, calm breath and give the robotic woman a defiant stare. Her glowing green eyes blinked once, and Athena could feel her mechanical muscles tense as she prepared to drive her sword forward.

 

A laser blast struck the side of the cyborg’s helmet, causing her to falter. Another caught her shoulder, and she lost her grip on Athena. The Terran rolled away once she hit the ground, and she stared up at Kyase with wide eyes as she fired at their attacker again. This time she brought her sword up just in time to intercept the shot. Athena immediately grabbed Kyase and started to lead her away.

 

“Okay, thanks, but if they can deflect lasers, we need to go.”

 

Kyase shot again, but she nodded and followed. The assassin was already marching toward them again, but to Athena’s relief, a group of security drones appeared from the surrounding alleyways. They appeared to be the same model she’d escaped from earlier, albeit older and in rougher condition. Athena watched them take aim, but Kyase pulled her through an open door. Then ran up a few flights of stairs as quietly as they could, but eventually curiosity got the better of them, and they watched the scene below through a dirty window on the fourth floor.

 

“Please put down your weapon. You have twenty seconds to comply.”

 

The cyborg held her sword at her side, though the glow around the blade remained active. In a perfect display of organizational failure, the surrounding security drones began to accidentally shoot each other as the assassin effortlessly evaded their attacks without leaving the intersection. When only one drone remained, the she finally parted it down the middle with a flash of her sword. Then, her glowing eyes snapped up toward Athena and Kyase, prompting both of them to gasp in terror and duck below the windowsill. Hugging her knees to her chest, Athena closed her eyes peacefully.

 

“Kyase, if we die here, I just want you to know you’re really cool, and even though we only just met for the first time yesterday, I really respect how you’ve apparently dedicated your entire life to pursuing me across the galaxy even though all I ever did was steal quintillions of credits from a bunch of rich dildos. You probably think I’m your worst enemy, but you’re like my best frien-”

 

Athena opened her eyes to find herself sitting against the wall alone. Meanwhile, Kyase was climbing through a window on the opposite wall and into the building next door.

 

“Kyase, come baaack!” whined Athena, pathetically crawling across the floor to her companion. Once she was close enough, Kyase grabbed Athena by the back of her jacket and tossed her across the way. Stealing a glance back at the room they’d just left, Kyase shut the window and hurried on as quickly and quietly as she could.

 

Athena and Kyase moved from building to building, going up and down floors and through windows as needed. They hadn’t seen the assassin since the scrap with the security drones, but they could still hear just enough chaos and destruction behind them to keep from stopping. Worst of all, they’d both lost all sense of direction, and they had no idea if they were still heading back to the Olympia or not.

 

Eventually they crashed through a door at the end of a long corridor, and instead of another room, Athena and Kyase found themselves standing at the edge of a sheer drop. It was as if the other half of the building had simply vanished. There was a bustling marketplace roughly three stories below, but there didn’t appear to be any sort of ladder or staircase down. Just as Athena and Kyase turned back, however, they saw their implacable pursuer at the end of the hall, still fast approaching. They shared a quick nod, knowing just what they needed to do. Athena tried to take Kyase’s hand, but all she received was a slap on the wrist.

 

An Ovat spice trader happily completed another transaction, particularly excited as he broke even for the day. Before he could put his money away, a pair of unruly humanoids crashed through the awning over his stall. People gasped and recoiled, narrowly avoiding an Inor woman as she rolled across the ground and fell flat on her face and diving away from a Terran as she landed atop a large jar of cinnamon, shattering the clay and sending brown powder high into the air.

 

Kyase leapt to her feet, ignoring the spice trader as he shouted. She grabbed one of Athena’s flailing arms and pulled her up, wincing when she saw her companion’s face. Every inch of Athena was caked in cinnamon, and clouds of it burst from her mouth and nostrils as she began to cough and wheeze.

 

“Athena, we need to go,” commanded Kyase, throwing her weight back to pull Athena up to her feet.

 

“H-hang on, I’m… I’m gonna… I’m gonnaahh… aahhh… AAAHT’CHUUH!!!”

 

Athena sneezed so hard that she lost her grip on Kyase’s hand and tumbled back into the pile of cinnamon. Kyase immediately grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her away, surprised to find her holding up a large golden coin as she continued to gasp for breath. After finally getting Athena back on her feet, Kyase took the coin and tossed it to the spice trader.

 

“Sorry about the mess.”

 

The Ovat inspected the coin for a moment, and then he began to jiggle in celebration. Although he’d just covered the month’s expenses in a single day, he didn’t have long to rejoice before a cyborg crashed to the ground before him in a three-point landing. The remaining onlookers in the marketplace screamed and fled, leaving the street empty save for the assassin and her prey.

 

“Alright, you have to run!” said Kyase, doing her best to help Athena along. The Terran weakly shook her head, still limping and out of breath.

 

“N-no, just… Juhh… hhtSHUH! Just go on without me.”

 

Kyase made a face.

 

“What? Why?”

 

“Don’t you… D-don’t you… Don’t you wanna kill me anywahh… haahh… ahttCHUH!”

 

“I told you I was going to recommend against the death penalty!”

 

Athena shook her head, pitifully wiping her nose across her index finger and all the way up her forearm.

 

“No, you don’t even… Y-you don’t even… hettCHUH!! You don’t even like me. I bet you can barely… B-barely… behh… eshhHUUH! Barely even s-stand to look at me!”

 

Utterly perplexed, Kyase furrowed her brow and stared at Athena.

 

“If this is some kind of bit, so help me-”

 

“Don’t look at me!”

 

Kyase felt something jab into her side, and she held up a small plastic cylinder from Athena’s hand. Giving her companion a scowl, Kyase shoved Athena off of her and turned to face the assassin.

 

“Why didn’t you just tell me to throw the bloody flash bomb!?”

 

Kyase twisted the top of the grenade and pitched it at the cyborg with all her might. Then, shielding her eyes with one arm, she grabbed Athena and dragged her down the nearest alley. A loud, sparking bam! illuminated the surrounding area, and even at this distance it made Kyase’s ears ring. She had no idea if such a thing would have any effect on a cyborg at all, but it at least seemed to slow the assassin enough that she and Athena were able to slip into another building and hide.

 

The duo made their way to a large store room and climbed into the ventilation ducts, but not before kicking open the far door and even leaving a trail of cinnamon from Athena’s hair and clothes. Both knew they couldn’t hide forever, but they at least needed a moment to rest and get their bearings.

 

“huhh! h'kngx!”

 

And for Athena to stop sneezing.

 

“Shh!” Kyase scolded. 

 

Athena weakly shook her head before squeezing her nose shut to stifle a sudden “hn-gkxt!” She scrunched up her face and furiously rubbed her nose, shaking a bit more cinnamon off of her but doing little to soothe her nasal passages. Another sneeze was fast approaching, demanding so much of Athena’s attention that she couldn’t hear the footsteps passing by underneath.

 

"heh... ah. hh-hhh-hh? n'gxtsch!”

 

Kyase held her breath, hoping beyond all hope that Athena’s stifled sneeze had been quiet enough. Athena was still desperately squeezing her nose with her whole hand, and Kyase knew she couldn’t lift a finger to help. Instead she slowly, carefully reached for Athena’s sidearm, which she’d placed back on her own belt. It didn’t seem to damage the cyborg in any meaningful way before, but it could still come in handy as a distraction or deterrent. Fortunately, the metallic footfalls continued across the warehouse floor, at least until…

 

“hhah... hehh-hh! hN'TSCHieww!”

 

Athena tried her best to stifle her sneeze again, but it was just too loud. The cyborg came to an abrupt stop, and Kyase could tell her companion wasn’t finished yet. She silently pleaded with Athena, and they briefly made eye contact before the Terran gasped for breath and gave one last “AHht-SHUH!!!”

 

A sword wreathed in neon-green pierced the bottom of the duct before Athena had even fully finished sneezing. It cut a slit through Kyase’s sleeve, narrowly missing her arm inside, and then it whipped backward and tore the sheet metal out from under her. Athena weakly reached out a hand as Kyase fell onto the stacked crates below. She landed hard, not enough to injure her, but she lost her grip on her weapon and sent it clattering across the floor. The assassin positioned herself above Kyase, flipping her sword into a reverse grip. As she prepared to bring the weapon down, Kyase closed her eyes.

 

“Haiyaa!” bellowed Athena, falling straight down out of the duct and wrapping her legs around the cyborg. She had no idea what she was doing, but she knew she had to try something. Now that she was up close and personal with the assassin, and with her ponytail resting to the side, Athena finally noticed a faded but key detail on the back of her helmet: the white, hexagonal logo of the Rytel Corporation. A similar cyborg had tried to kill her just a few years prior, and their strength, agility and awareness were completely unmatched. When they were operating at maximum combat capacity, their senses were heightened such that they could feel minuscule changes in the wind or a person taking a step fifty meters away. This made them nigh unstoppable, but they did have one dire weakness.

 

Kyase’s first impulse was to crawl away like her life depended on it, which it did, but all she could do was watch in stunned silence as Athena wrapped her arms around the cyborg and began to dance her fingers across her belly. The assassin froze, sword still raised to attack, but she couldn’t deliver the killing stroke. Cocking her head to the side, Kyase stared in disbelief as the robotic woman trembled, her lips quivering, and then she finally fell to her knees and began to laugh outright.

 

“You cannot be serious,” Kyase blurted, her eyes growing distant. Laying on top of their attacker, Athena gave a triumphant chuckle of her own.

 

“Kyase, look! They’re ticklish!”

 

Continuing to tickle the cyborg’s belly with one hand, Athena moved the other steadily up her neck. She began to stroke the edges of the assassin’s teardrop-shaped nostrils with a fingertip, just to see what would happen. To Athena’s delight, her laughter gave way to a series of hitching breaths.

 

“ah... huhh... hh! ha-KNxxsh!”

 

“They still have their sneeze reflex! Aww!”

 

Kyase slapped a palm to her forehead and slowly dragged her hand down over her face with a groan. She stood up and retrieved the laser pistol from the floor before returning to the chaos. Sheepishly holding her weapon in front of her waist, Kyase blushed with secondhand embarrassment as she watched Athena continue to subdue their attacker in the most juvenile manner imaginable.

 

“hhh-hh... hih! ah-Knxsh!” the cyborg sneezed again, losing her grip on her sword. The weapon clattered to the ground, and after a moment the green glow dissipated and the blade retracted back into the grip.

 

“Gesundheit!”

 

Letting her sidearm hang at her side, Kyase pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned.

 

“Great, Athena. What do we do now?”

 

Athena shrugged, continuing to tickle the underside of the assassin’s nose.

 

“hh-hh-hhh! ah... hh! aahh…”

 

The cyborg’s glowing green eyes fluttered and her head reared back with each gasping breath. Giving a teasing smile, Athena slid the side of her finger under the tip of her nose and lifted. Kyase transitioned from a nose pinch to a full-on facepalm.

 

“HuuaA-KNNXXT!!!”

 

A ferocious sneeze sent something flying out of the assassin’s nostrils, earning a yelp from both Kyase and Athena. The green lights along the robotic woman’s body dimmed as she fell flat on her face with a heavy thunk, and she immediately began to groan and squirm. For the moment, Kyase and Athena were more preoccupied with what lay on the ground in front of her. A pair of pill-sized machines sat in a pile of transparent slime, each one sporting tendril-like wires that steadily flicked back and forth.

 

“Are those drudge bugs!?” Kyase exclaimed, bringing her weapon up to the ready. Athena immediately jammed two fingers under the cyborg’s nostrils to protect them, suspiciously eyeing the tiny machines.

 

“Probably! Blast ‘em!”

 

Kyase took aim and fired, roasting one of the bugs. The other quickly skittered away, clearly trying to return to whence it came. Athena tried to wrench the assassin back as the drudge bug leapt from the ground, and her eyes widened when she saw it flying straight for her own face instead.

 

A mechanical hand shot up and caught the bug between two fingers with only centimeters to spare. Athena tried to lean away, flicking her gaze back and forth between the little machine and her unexpected savior.

 

“Th-thanks.”

 

“Don’t mention it,” said the cyborg in a surprisingly demure voice before crushing the bug in her hand. She removed her helmet and set it down beside her as Athena helped her sit up, and she glanced apologetically back and forth between her former marks. Her green eyes no longer glowed as brightly, dimmed similarly to the other lights on her body, and she hardly seemed like the same person as mere moments ago.

 

“What’s your name?” Athena asked with a bright smile.

 

“My name is Clover Kyu.”

 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Ath-”

 

Clover held up one hand, gently placing the other on her forehead as she winced slightly.

 

“I know who you are. Somehow. Someone must have ordered me to kill you and given me the relevant data.”

 

Kyase holstered her weapon and folded her arms.

 

“Just to be clear, you’re not trying to kill us anymore, are you?”

 

Clover rose to her feet with an acrobatic swirl and immediately bowed to her former opponents, arms stiff at her sides.

 

“I offer my deepest apologies. I have not been an assassin by trade for more than three years. I don’t know how I… H-how I… hh-hh-hhhh! hih-KNxsh!”

 

The cyborg’s small sneeze was sudden enough to throw her off balance. Athena gently grabbed Clover’s shoulders as she stumbled, keeping her upright.

 

“Gesundheit!”

 

“Please forgive me. I have a tickly nose,” lamented Clover, lightly pressing an outstretched index finger to her nostrils. Athena smiled and patted her on the back, momentarily surprised by the metallic slap.

 

“It’s alright! You had some drudge bugs up there pretty good.”

 

Clover frowned as she rubbed her long, upturned nose.

 

“They must have overridden my functions and directed me to target you. Unfortunately I am unaware who subjected me to them, or for what purpose beyond your demise.”

 

“...Good to know,” Kyase grumbled. Athena clapped Clover on the shoulder and smiled.

 

“Well, we can totally help you find them and kill the shit out of them.”

 

Clover took a step back and bowed again.

 

“On the contrary, I owe you both a great debt. While killing the shit out of whoever enthralled me would be agreeable, please allow me to accompany you on your endeavors and serve as your protection.”

 

Athena beamed with excitement and turned to Kyase, who seemed continually unimpressed.

 

“Shouldn’t you buy me dinner first?”

 

Eyes going wide, Athena gasped.

 

“Did you just make a joke!?”

 

Kyase’s nostrils flared impatiently.

 

“No. I’m hungry. Let’s go.”

[mysterysneeze]

This year has been...this year. However, even with everything going on currently, your story here brings a smile to my face. Thank you for taking time to write this story! I am enjoying your characters and the banter between them. The settings where the chapters take place is fun to read about. The characters themselves are enjoyable! I like the technology aspects too. 
 

The smaller details in each individual chapter are nicely written. I love finding new tidbits of information about the characters and how they act. Your story feels like an adventure as I read it! I enjoy your story a lot.

 

[Blah!?]

18 hours ago, mysterysneeze said:

This year has been...this year. However, even with everything going on currently, your story here brings a smile to my face. Thank you for taking time to write this story! I am enjoying your characters and the banter between them. The settings where the chapters take place is fun to read about. The characters themselves are enjoyable! I like the technology aspects too. 
 

The smaller details in each individual chapter are nicely written. I love finding new tidbits of information about the characters and how they act. Your story feels like an adventure as I read it! I enjoy your story a lot.

 

Thanks so much, I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it! I've always wanted to do this sort of sci-fi pastiche type of thing, and I'm not really sure what took me so long. I guess I've been on a fantasy kick for what feels like years now.

I'm almost finished with chapter 5, if I'm lucky I might have it done this weekend. Unfortunately I suspect things will slow down a bit after that. I do still have ideas for two more chapters plotted out, but I haven't gotten to actually working on them yet. To be honest I also don't really have an end point in mind. I never really wanted this to become an epic or anything like that, so I'm totally fine with things as they are, but it does make it difficult to tell when the story might actually end.

[Klingon]

this is pretty good Blah as always! though it was also much sillier and funnier, then some of the other stories you wrote. it is excellent as always.

[mysterysneeze]

On 11/14/2020 at 2:36 PM, Blah!? said:

Thanks so much, I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it! I've always wanted to do this sort of sci-fi pastiche type of thing, and I'm not really sure what took me so long. I guess I've been on a fantasy kick for what feels like years now.

I'm almost finished with chapter 5, if I'm lucky I might have it done this weekend. Unfortunately I suspect things will slow down a bit after that. I do still have ideas for two more chapters plotted out, but I haven't gotten to actually working on them yet. To be honest I also don't really have an end point in mind. I never really wanted this to become an epic or anything like that, so I'm totally fine with things as they are, but it does make it difficult to tell when the story might actually end.

A story does not need an end point in order to be enjoyed XD Some of my all time favorite anime shows only have 1 season. It is the characters and situations that make something enjoyable.

Your stories and what you create are enjoyable to me. You put your own effort and style in the fun ideas you think of. Most of my ideas never get past my mind...I just think and daydream and then forget what I thought about. Your stories make me smile, and I hope that you smile during while you write your stories ^^

 

Fantasy is incredible to me personally. It is my favorite genre for a few reasons. Don't be afraid to write a fantasy story if your mind latches onto a fun fantasy idea. If you think of a different genre of sneeze ideas like western or history don't be afraid to write that either XD In all seriousness though, write what you want to write

Sci-fi has a lot of interesting possibilities to it, and it's cool seeing what you have written so far with these fun characters you created ^^

(Honestly I could totally imagine a strange crossover with your fantasy guild world. Sci fi can easily have a ship crash land into a fantasy world with warp drive situations. )

Anyway, whatever you want to create in the future, take your time! I hope you are safe and happy during this holiday season.

[Blah!?]

God, finally I managed to finish the next chapter. I thought it was gonna be quick since I was almost done with it weeks ago, but it took me until now to finally get it done. As is tradition.

On 11/27/2020 at 5:31 PM, mysterysneeze said:

(Honestly I could totally imagine a strange crossover with your fantasy guild world. Sci fi can easily have a ship crash land into a fantasy world with warp drive situations. )

I'm not sure about a crossover, but honestly I do really want to get back to the fantasy story at some point too. There's still so much more I want to do with them, hopefully I'll be able to get myself to actually do it.

Thanks so much for your support! It really means a lot to know that people enjoy the stories I put out.

And now, not to put this off any further... (Also as a heads up, there's a bit more messiness than usual in this chapter, just fyi)

Chapter 5

As was typical of the galactic underworld, the entirety of Lucent Station forgot all about the fighting and destruction the moment the dust settled. The marketplace had already reopened by the time Athena, Kyase and Clover were back on their feet, and no one seemed to bat an eye despite how recognizable all three of them together were. Thus, Athena was able to bring the group to her favorite local Terran restaurant, no questions asked. One meal and several beers later, she was feeling too stuffed to move.

 

“Alright, think I’m gonna be here for a while,” Athena moaned, stretching her arms out above her head. Kyase furrowed her brow, lightly touching her fingertips to her forehead.

 

“It’s a wonder that you ever manage to get anything done,” she grumbled. Athena shrugged.

 

“There’s a method to my madness, I assure you.”

 

Kyase rolled her eyes and sighed before turning her gaze to Clover. 

 

“You know, it’s not too late to just walk away from all this.”

 

The cyborg peacefully sipped from a cup of tea and smiled.

 

“I have no other obligations. And, I believe it would be to my benefit to experience more of the galaxy firsthand.”

 

Kyase bit her lip in concern.

 

“Yes, but… With her?”

 

She and Clover both glanced over at Athena just in time for her to burp and laugh at herself. After another silent sip of tea, Clover shrugged contentedly.

 

“I actually find you both quite interesting.”

 

Kyase gave the cyborg a half-lidded stare.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Hey! You talkin’ about me?” mumbled Athena, leaning against Kyase’s shoulder. Flaring her nostrils in frustration, the Inor closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

“Yes, everything’s about you, Athena.”

 

“I know, I’m pretty great. Hey! So, if you and Clover got married, would your name be Kyase Kyu?”

 

Kyase finally pushed Athena away, her nostrils flaring even wider. Fortunately, the chocolate cake she’d ordered for dessert finally arrived, and she excitedly picked up her fork before the server even set the plate down. Wanting to get at least one good bite before Athena’s inevitable heckling, Kyase immediately dug in. It was different from the chocolate bar, but it was soft, fluffy and equally tasty. All her worries washed away, and she found herself gently resting her cheek in her free hand as she chewed and swallowed. And then…

 

“hh? hh! aaASCHT!”

 

“Gesundheit,” said Athena in between sips of beer. Kyase ignored her and took another bite of her cake. She had no strong feelings about most Terran food, but chocolate… Chocolate was simply heavenly.

 

“HESHHH!!”

 

“Gesundheit,” Athena repeated, more hesitantly this time. She watched Kyase out of the corner of her eye, her gaze moving steadily from fork to lips to nostrils. Just a second or two after Kyase swallowed, her thin, slit-like nostrils snapped wide open, and…

 

“hA-ETSCH!”

 

“You, uh… You doin’ okay there, Kyase?” asked Athena with a smirk. Her eyes gently closed, Kyase dabbed at the corners of her mouth with her napkin.

 

“It’s nothing. Just a sneeze.”

 

Athena glanced over at Clover with a grin, wondering if the cyborg had also taken note. She expected a laugh or smile, but this prompted Clover to share a shocking bit of trivia.

 

“In roughly thirty six percent of Inor, ingesting cacao erroneously triggers the sneeze reaction. You appear to possess this trait.”

 

Kyase froze, another bite of chocolate cake halfway to her mouth. She’d certainly noticed the sneezing, but she hadn’t thought much of it. As far as she was concerned, the delightful taste and creaminess of chocolate were well worth it, but she couldn’t bear the thought of Athena teasing her every single time, which was now all but certain. Kyase’s eye twitched, and after a moment of weighing the risks, she popped the cake into her mouth and savored it defiantly.

 

“Lucky me. hh! aAESHH!!”

 

Athena howled with laughter, clapping Kyase on the shoulder and very nearly sloshing what little beer she had left out of her bottle. Eventually she was cackling so hard that she laid her head down on the table, each shaky breath coming in as a snort. Closing her eyes and flaring her nostrils, Kyase hung her head and let out a defeated sigh.

 

Eventually Athena peeled herself off the table, if only to take another sip of beer. The moment she set her empty bottle down, however, she threw her arms around herself and shivered. She drew a chattering breath through her teeth, scrunching up her face and shaking her head.

 

“Whoa! Is it j-just me, or d-did it get really cold all of a sudden? I feel really… R-really… hh! hih’SHUH!”

 

“Bless you,” Kyase groaned, massaging her temples. Athena shivered again, but after briefly placing a hand on her forehead, she seemed to relax. Gently closing her eyes, she rubbed a finger under her nose and sniffed deeply.

 

“You’d better not be coming down with something,” said Kyase, eyeing Athena as she poked at her chocolate cake. Suddenly she didn’t feel so hungry anymore. Giving a shrug, Athena smiled.

 

“Relax, I’m fine!”

 

“aht’SHUH! hh! hettSHUUH!! ha-haa-haaAA’CHUUUH!!! Ohhh…”

 

Wrapped tightly in a fuzzy blanket, Athena sneezed her way into the Olympia’s cockpit. She lifted one hand from underneath her cuddly cocoon to slowly rub back and forth under her nostrils, snuffling and snorting inelegantly.

 

“Kyase, I think I’m c-coming down with s-something,” Athena moaned, her voice helplessly blocked. Flaring her nostrils, Kyase closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

“Great, Athena. Whatever it is, it sounds like you’ve already got it bad.”

 

Feeling particularly put out, Athena simply shivered and chattered in place as Clover approached. After allowing Athena another “ehh’SHUH!” she reached a hand under the Terran’s bangs and placed a hand on her forehead. Athena winced, but to her relief, Clover’s metallic palm wasn’t as cold as she’d first expected.

 

“You have a fever, Athena,” stated the cyborg, withdrawing her hand.

 

“Then why do I f-feel so c-c-cold?”

 

“It is likely you have a case of Rozorth Flu. Humanoids commonly exhibit symptoms including simultaneous fever and chills…”

 

Athena tensed, drawing a shuddering breath through her teeth.

 

“Drowsiness…”

 

Her eyes closing lazily, Athena bobbed forward as if she’d momentarily fallen asleep before catching herself.

 

“Nasal congestion…”

 

Bringing her hand out from under her blanket again, Athena slowly wiped her nose all the way along her forearm with a thick snuffle.

 

“And, most frequently…”

 

“hh... hih! hdt’CHUH!”

 

“...Sneezing.”

 

“Are you a d-doctor too, Clover?” asked Athena, smiling deliriously. The cyborg shook her head.

 

“I am not, but I do have extensive medical data in my memory. Most cases of Rozorth Flu in Terrans pass very quickly. You should be feeling healthy again within twenty four hours.”

 

“Oh. That doesn’t sound so baaah… hah… ahtSHUH!”

 

“Go to bed, Athena,” grumbled Kyase, her face falling into her hands. Athena shook her head, dizzying herself.

 

“No, but we need to do the… And then the… The… hh! hettSHUUH!!”

 

“It’s alright, Athena,” interjected Ollie, appearing on the side of the viewscreen with a steaming teacup in one hand and a box of tissues in the other. “I know what to do. Please get some rest.”

 

“Okay…” Athena moaned, dragging her nostrils across her forearm again. “Come get me if anything happens. I’ll just be… B-be… hih! hahSHUH! Ohh…”

 

Kyase massaged her temples as Athena shuffled out of the cockpit. Finally the doors closed behind her, blocking out the sounds of her snuffling and snorting. Then, Kyase steepled her hands in front of her face and leaned forward in the pilot’s chair.

 

“So, what is the plan, Ollie?”

 

Ollie’s avatar flipped on the screen, trading her comfort items for her usual appearance. With her hands on her hips, she gave Kyase a teasing smile.

 

“Do you promise not to try to take over the ship and bring us to Alliance Command?”

 

Slowly closing her eyes, Kyase flared her nostrils and sighed deeply.

 

“I will make no such pledge.”

 

Ollie chuckled.

 

“Well, Athena and I appreciate your honesty. All that’s going to happen is we’ll be running silent once we drop out of hyperspace. That way, we can drift right on through to the Naberius System without any unwanted Alliance involvement. As long as no one looks out the window, that is.”

 

Kyase cracked the faintest smile, almost impressed.

 

“And what if someone does?”

 

“Well, I do still have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

 

Kyase sat back, her smile widening as she gave an amused hum. Athena and Ollie’s plan made tactical sense, but why the Naberius System? It was uninhabited, so perhaps it was home to some kind of pirate hideout, but it also wasn’t too far out of the way. Alliance patrols passed by the system regularly enough, surely they would have found something. Briefly gazing up at the ceiling, Kyase absently rubbed a finger under her nose as she pondered the possibilities.

 

“Excuse me, Miss Mevo?” came Clover’s soft voice, interrupting Kyase’s train of thought. Looking toward the rear of the cockpit, she watched the cyborg step through the door with a tray in both hands.

 

“I’ve prepared some tea for you and Miss Anara. Would you be so kind as to bring this to her while I cook something for dinner?”

 

The thought of essentially acting as Athena’s butler made Kyase seethe, but she knew better than to take her anger out on Clover. Still, she remained unable to say anything nice, so she wordlessly took the tray and walked to the end of the corridor, past the washroom and the guest quarters. Arriving at what she could only assume was Athena’s bedroom, Kyase balanced her tray with one hand and knocked on the door.

 

“Athena?”

 

“hh! httSHUH!”

 

“Athena, Clover made tea. Would you like some?”

 

“ha... haa… aaASHUUH!!”

 

Kyase paused, staring blankly at the door.

 

“I’m going to interpret all this sneezing as a sign that you need some. I’m coming in.”

 

When the door to Athena’s quarters opened, Kyase could only frown in disbelief. Her expectations were already low, but she hadn’t truly known what to expect. An entire third of the room was dominated by an ancient Terran television set and a mountain of disorganized video games. Another third was dedicated to a coffee table and a few simple chairs with a sparsely-stocked bookshelf in the corner. The rest of the space was taken up by a massive bed, larger than any Kyase had ever seen before. Athena was somewhere in the middle, surrounded by a veritable ocean of used, crumpled tissues. The blue silk sheets ruffled as the Terran clumsily retrieved a new tissue, and Kyase did her best to ignore her as she stepped over to the coffee table.

 

“Oh, hey Kyase,” greeted Athena, her voice dripping with congestion. “Thanks for the tea. This Rozorth Flu is really doing a number on me. Could you get me some… G-get me some… hih! hh... hh-heh! hettSHUH!! Ohhh…”

 

“Here you go, Athena,” came the cheerful chirp of Ollie’s voice. The delivery port beside Athena’s bed popped open and produced a fresh box of tissues. She immediately snatched one and prepared for another sneeze.

 

“Thanks Oll- ah… aahh… aaAh! aaAACHHUUH!!!”

 

Kyase slammed the tray down onto the coffee table, causing  both cups to lose a bit of liquid. Athena jumped, her eyes wide with surprise as she pressed her tissue to her nostrils. Leaning against the table, Kyase took a deep, shuddering breath, too enraged to even look up at her companion.

 

“I just don’t get it. How are you the greatest thief in the galaxy!?” 

 

“Kyase, I…”

 

“No! I don’t want to hear it! I have been chasing you for three and a half years! Even when I finally managed to catch you, you still slipped through my fingers. You trick me, you outrun me, you always have a plan, or you just make one up as you go! But now, you mean to tell me you’ve been reduced to such a helpless, miserable state as this by a few snee… Sn-snee… Snee’heeze-!”

 

“Um, Kyase?”

 

Athena could only watch apprehensively as Kyase’s breath began to hitch. Her shoulders tensed and her chest heaved, her nostrils repeatedly flaring to large ovals and relaxing back to thin slits. After a moment of ticklish agony, Kyase gasped for breath and threw back her head, freezing in limbo for a split second before…

 

“hhaaAESSCHHHT!!!”

 

Kyase’s thunderous sneeze made Athena jump, pulling her blanket up over her chin. She watched in stunned silence as her Inor companion shuddered, still covering her nose with one hand. Eventually Kyase straightened up, and even at a distance Athena could tell she looked exhausted. After just one big sneeze, her hair was disheveled and her eyes were more weary than Athena could describe. Kyase blinked slowly, and then she allowed her hand to fall away from her face, revealing two thin strands of blue mucus dangling from her nostrils.

 

“...May I have a tissue, please?”

 

“Uh, yeah. Sure.”

 

Athena watched as Kyase shivered and hobbled closer, leaving the teacups behind. Her jaw dropped when Kyase climbed right into bed beside her without skipping a beat. Sloppily grabbing a handful of tissues, Kyase loudly blew her nose once, twice, and then a third time before balling up the moist paper and tossing it away. Athena barely had time to pick her chin up off the ground before Kyase silently slid downward and disappeared under the covers. Clutching her own blanket to her chest, Athena glanced awkwardly around her bedroom.

 

“Uh, Kyase?”

 

No response. Athena shifted slightly, not knowing whether to move closer or farther away.

 

“Kyase, are you-”

 

“AASCHHT!!”

 

The sheet covering Kyase’s face fluttered up and away as she sneezed again, leaving her to freely glare up at Athena. The Terran stared down at her with a look of genuine concern, serving only to infuriate her further.

 

“Gesundheit,” Athena mumbled, quickly rubbing her own nose. “You okay?”

 

“You got me sick,” croaked Kyase, her voice just as blocked up as Athena’s had been a few hours ago. Avoiding eye contact, Athena gave a big, guilty smile.

 

“Well… I mean… You could have gotten it from anyone on the station…”

 

Kyase’s eyes narrowed, but she said nothing. With an exasperated sigh, she rolled onto her side and pulled the blanket up to her chin. It wasn’t long before her already congested breathing gave way to a series of snorts and snuffles. In a rare breach of decorum, Kyase even grabbed a handful of blanket and scrubbed it furiously under her nostrils. Athena frowned in mild offense, but she said nothing. Eventually Kyase sat up, reaching for a tissue with one hand and pinching her nostrils with the other.

 

“Guh, I can’t breathe through my nose at all,” she lamented, grabbing a tissue but simply holding it in her lap in defeat. Kyase turned her tired eyes to Athena and gazed up at her through her messy black hair.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

Running a hand up the back of her head, Athena blushed and smiled.

 

“Honestly, I think I’m fine? Clover was right, that was quick!”

 

The room hung in silence for a moment. Kyase’s face was placid, but her nostrils flared massively in anger.

 

“Get out.”

 

Athena balked.

 

“But this is my room!”

 

“I said get out.”

 

“Aww, Kyase! Don’t you want some company? We could cuddle together for warmth-”

 

“Athena, get aahh… Aah…!”

 

Knowing full well what was about to happen, Athena knew better than to argue. She tried to extricate herself from the bed as quickly as she could, but…

 

“aaASCHHOOO!!!”

 

Athena thought for sure that her entire quarters would be covered in sticky blue Inor mucus, and she didn’t linger to see the results. The moment Kyase began to sneeze, she screamed in terror and threw herself to the floor, and before her companion could recover, Athena was already fleeing toward the Olympia’s cockpit. Even as the door to her room closed behind her, she could hear a prolonged sneezing fit on the other side. Her pace slowed as she passed the kitchen, and she spotted something odd out of the corner of her eye.

 

Pursing her lips, Athena took a few steps back and peered through the open door. Something was bubbling on the stove, but that wasn’t what had caught her attention. In the center of the room, Clover was holding some kind of bizarre yoga pose, balancing her entire body with only one finger on the floor. Athena blinked.

 

“Uh… Hey, Clover.”

 

“Ah, hello Athena,” Clover replied, looking up at the Terran before gracefully returning to her feet. “You’re looking well.”

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better already. I think Kyase caught it from me though. She’s mad. And sneezy.”

“That is unfortunate. But, Inor and Terran physiology are quite similar. I suspect her symptoms will be little different from your own.”

Athena smiled, ever so slightly relieved. But, just as she was about to step into the kitchen, she stopped in her tracks and gave Clover a look up and down.

“So, uh… You can’t get sick, can you?”

Closing her eyes, Clover smiled and shook her head.

“I appreciate the concern, but I have a nanomachine-assisted immune system. I should be quite impervious to… I-impervious to… Huhh… Hhh! HuuaAA-KNNXTT!!! ...Uh oh.”

[Klingon]

lol

[NickG1998]

I can’t wait for the next update please continue this amazing story I really love your characters