My Cleanly Valentine

[Glatissant]

Author’s note: A bit of PG-13 sneezy steaminess for Valentine’s Day! Features male allergies and male/male romance.
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Valentine’s Day had come, and for Chester that meant one thing: house cleaning! Okay, okay, maybe that wasn’t the only thing Valentine’s Day meant – skimpy underwear and the stash of chocolate covered strawberries and wine he’d stocked the refrigerator with also came to mind – but being a bit of a neat freak, Chester wanted him and his boyfriend Scott’s condominium to sparkle for their national-holiday-sanctioned evening of romance. Luckily, Scott wasn’t due home from work for a bit, leaving Chester plenty of time to indulge his love for chores.

The lanky blonde started by grabbing a bottle of Lysol and his favorite dishrag from under the sink. He sprayed down the marble counters of the kitchen; buffing them furiously. As he sprayed and wiped, Chester felt a slight tingling in his nose and throat. Breathing in, he realized that the Lysol wasn’t the unscented he normally bought; this was the lemon-scented formula, carrying with it the citrusy aromas which always set off his allergies. He cursed his boyfriend for having bought the wrong kind of cleaner, but it was too late now – he’d just have to hold off long enough to finish wiping down the kitchen.

As Chester sprayed down the stove, his nostrils began to flare as wafts of lemon freshness contaminated the air, gently tickling them. His breath began to stutter as hitches crept into it, the warning signs of and fuel for one of his prolific sneezing fits. “Eh…he…heh…eh-yeh….”

He wiggled his nose to buy some time, determinedly wiping down the surfaces of the kitchen. Although he’d finished, this delay had cost him – a surge of tickliness erupted in his nose, the inflamed nares pulsing with agitation. If there’d been any hope of placating his allergies by any means other than a sneezing fit, it was now lost. Chester gripped the kitchen counter, looking about for something to muffle his sneezes into. Alas, they were out of paper towels, and the only rag was soaked in the lemon-scented cleaner that irritated his nose so!

As his mouth opened and he gasped in breathes to fuel the coming sneezes, Chester did the only thing he could think of: he ripped off his T-shirt, exposing his taught back and rippling abs, and buried his nose in it as his body violently expelled the offensive scent.

“EH!?—AH!!-AH-YEAH-CHOOOW! HE-YACHOOOW! He…he…oh…by…god..HE-YISSSCHHHEEEWWWW!”

Panting and trembling, the man’s sneezing fit eventually petered out, and he soothed the last allergic tingles from his nose with the T-shirt before tossing it into the laundry bin. Chester traded the Lysol for bleach, making a mental note to remind his beau to buy the unscented cleaner next time. Onto the bathroom!

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Chester knelt beside their bathtub with the bleach and a sponge, pouring a bit of the clear liquid into the sponge. The harsh scent of the bleach caused his palate to tingle and his eyes to tear up a bit. He tried to hold his breath as he scrubbed out the inside of the tub. As he finished scrubbing, a sudden hum filled the air as the house’s heater kicked on; startled by the sound, he inhaled sharply.

Chester’s nose, still itchy with the memory of its encounter with the lemon cleaner, took terrible offense to this new invader. This time there was no build-up; his body was immediately overwhelmed by a desperate, primal need to sneeze out the ticklish tendrils of bleach vapors winding through his nasal passages. Chester’s head tipped back, and his Adam’s apple heaved as he hitched and gasped before roaring out a ferocious chain of sneezes.

“HUH-HUH-RASHOOW! RA-CHE-YOOOHH! Oh by-d-dos-EH-HAYEH-AAAACHOOW!”

This sneezing fit came on far too urgently for Chester to cover; it was only after the first wave that he thought to stuff his nose into his elbow, stifling a few trailing sneezes into the skin of his arm. “HEH-CHEEH! HEH-CHEEEUU!” Sniffling desperately, he hastily replaced the cap on the bleach bottle.

Kneeling on the tiled floor of the bathroom, the shirtless man ripped off a length of toilet paper from the roll on the wall and brought it to his badly running nose, blowing the swollen organ into it; the rough texture of the cheap toilet paper illicited one last sneeze from his inflamed nostrils. “RAAH-CHEYOOW! *sniff* Ohhhh, bless be. Dhose cabe right outta by soul. *sniff* I dink by dose deeds ad ice pack…”

As Chester rose to leave, he caught a glimpse of the bathtub he’d just cleaned: the bathtub which now glistened with the dewy results of him sneezing unrestrained over it. He sighed – looks like it’d need one more wipedown.

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After cleaning the bathroom, Chester considered what else he could tidy while his beau was away. As he pondered, his eyes roved over the shorts he was wearing; a distinct pink stain had appeared on the fabric of the crotch. Dammit – he’d forgotten that bleach stains clothing! The man stripped out of the shorts to throw them into the wash, leaving him in only the snug blue thong he’d had on underneath. Looks like he’d be putting on a sexier show than he’d anticipated with the rest of his chores – too bad no one was around to see.

Chester started for his last destination - the bedroom, of course! The cleaner your bedroom, the dirtier you can get in it. He grabbed the vacuum and headed upstairs. The man whistled jauntily as he rolled the vacuum across the carpet of the bedroom, mind wandering to naughty places as he imagined the activities he and the boyfriend would be doing in here in a very short time. He couldn’t resist trailing a hand down his chest, down his stomach and abs, then down further…

*THUD!*

His fantasies were interrupted by the vacuum’s front edge bumping against the bottom of the bed frame. To clean underneath the bed, he’d need to use the tube-like crevice tool, which was tragically short (he cursed his past self for being cheap and getting the economy model). Chester sighed, lowered himself to the floor on his belly, and with the crevice tool in hand, pulled himself under the bed up to his waist.

He found himself regretting that he didn’t deep clean more often, as the carpeted floor underneath their mattress was a safari of dust bunnies, frolicking across a habitat of the distinct layer of dust over the carpet fibers. Chester’s eyes began to water as the particles being kicked up by his thrusting of the crevice tool rose into the air around him, settling on his cheeks, his lips, and his rapidly reddening nose…

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Scott whistled as he entered the condo he shared with his boyfriend, kicking the snow from his boots. After a long day of work, he was ready to enjoy a steamy Valentine’s Day evening; he wondered what Chester had been up to today?

As he unbuttoned his coat, a sound echoed from upstairs. “AAYE-CHOOO!”

He chuckled. Between the blonde’s prolific allergies and inclination to catch cold, his boyfriend was one of the sneeziest people Scott knew. Scott found his beau’s rapid sneezes adorable, and he never minded holding the man through his vigorous sneezing fits. Sometimes it even felt erotic, the shaking and bucking of Chester’s body flush against his own as they rocked together…

 “AH?! AH!! AYEH-HEH-CHIIUUU!”

Scott hung up his jacket and headed upstairs, curious to see what his boyfriend was doing to send him into such a sneezy state.

He was greeted with an incredibly suggestive scene: the lower half of his boyfriend, toned legs and tight ass clad only in a skimpy thong, sticking out from underneath their bed, thrusting up and down enthusiastically as its owner succumbed to the inevitable effects of dust on a tortured and allergic nose.

“YAAAH-CHOOO! *sniff* Oh! Welcomb ho-hob-EYEE-CHEE! EH-CHEEHH! *sniff sniff* Welcomb hobe, hodey. I’b albost dode cleadi-ih-IH-IH-cleading-IH-ISSSHEEWW! *sniff* Bless be.”

“Bless you indeed…” Scott murmured. He lowered himself down onto his boyfriend’s naked torso, kissing the back of Chester’s neck and wrapping his arms around him as the blonde’s shoulders began to shake with the hitches of another sneeze. Scott fingered the waistband of Chester’s thong thoughtfully. “This could get dirty while you’re cleaning – probably better if we take it off.”

[Kolen]

Mmm~ I liked this very much

[thesneezyowl]

I don’t know how I missed this story! I really like your writing style, how you spelled out the sneezes, and how he said, “bless me”! 

[hetchiew]

Holy crap! This is so good!!😱

[AntheaHolmes]

Oh this is lovely.