Picture The Problem (female)

[Chanel_no5]

*** Note***

Forever ago, I made a fic scenario poll for a character who's a politician. This scenario wasn't the winner but it's the one I ended up playing with, first for myself and now, I present a slightly edited version for public view.   It was a while ago I wrote it, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to post it or not, my writing has felt so clunky lately. Anyway, here it is, such as it is, hope you'll like it! 

 

(also, there is no pandemic in my fetish universe. So she shakes hands.)

(also, for anyone who wants visuals of how Leyona looks, at least in my mind, Picrew helped me convey it:

Spoiler

(yup, I added a bit of pinkish tint around her nose because... yeah. ^^)

 

***

“About the photos for this interview, we thought about something a bit different,” the reporter says as they wrap up the interview. Leyona smiles.

“That sounds exciting,” she replies as she follows the photographer to where things are being set up. She can’t spot much of a difference from any other magazine photo shoot she's done in her political career, though; there’s a nice sofa and a bookshelf and…

Meow!

Leyona’s eyes – which will soon be watering and itching – widen momentarily at the sound.

Oh no. There’s a cat in here?

Her right hand immediately and seemingly on its own accord wanders into the pocket of her jacket, making sure she has tissues there. It’s not the stash she hoped she’d find, but there are a couple at least.

“Good morning, ma’am,” the photographer’s assistant says. “May I introduce you to today’s adorable props; Bianca, Snowball, and Cotton?”

Leyona’s smile has frozen in horror as one fluffy white kitten after another exits the cat carrier that she had somehow managed to miss, and the only thing she can think is; 

I’m going to sneeze my head off before this is over.

But her skills as a public figure are automated at this point, so she somehow manages to pull herself together and shake hands with the young woman, then wondering how many microscopic allergens were on the cat handler’s hand and now on hers. She shakes her head a little. Better to not think about it.

“They are adorable,” she says, and she means it, but she doesn’t make a move to pick up either of the fuzzy white balls with round blue eyes and fluffy tails. Even though they clearly show an interest in her.

Leyona is the kind of person who tends to pet animals without even thinking about it, it’s just a natural instinct, and then paying the price with runny, itchy eyes, a streaming nose, and a relentless need to sneeze. Her whole family have pets, cats or dogs (or both, with an added dash of rabbits, as in the case of her sister Gina, whose home is an allergy-hazard of a menagerie), and much as she tries to suppress that touchy-feely instinct, she always fails eventually. The fuzzier the animal, the shorter her self-discipline.

In private, that’s not such a big deal. It’s sniffling and sneezing. It’s not anything even remotely serious, and she’s usually prepared, with loads of tissues if not antihistamines. She strongly dislikes taking allergy meds because she feels like they cloud her thinking and make her drowsy, but if she really doesn’t want to deal with the allergic interruptions that the sneezes bring, then she’ll take them. Most of the time though, in private settings, she skips them.

In public, however, sneezing is an absolute no. She can’t show anything that even vaguely resembles weakness, especially not now when the political climate has hardened to a point where each day is a civil version of the Cold War.

“… on you.”

Leyona shakes her head.

“I’m sorry, I was far away…” she shrugs. “Come again?”

“The idea here is that you’ll be sitting on the sofa and the kittens climbing on you.”

“Mhm. I’m curious. What prompted this idea?” Leyona asks, and she keeps her tone friendly and only casually interested, but her nose is already tickling. Her hand wants to wander up to her nose and give it a good rub, but she resists, knowing that any touch will only make the budding prickle worse.

“Oh. We just thought that with you recently introducing a bill to increase the punishments for animal abuse, and your campaign for helping surviving pets after recent natural disasters…”

Leyona nods, inwardly sighing but not regretting either of those causes, not even with the potential embarrassment looming right now, and allows herself a light sniff before she replies.

“I see. It’s a lovely idea.”

And it is, but quite complicated to turn into reality without her becoming a drippy, sneezy mess. She wishes she hadn’t sent her assistant off for an early break, but she’s not going to call her and tell her to come back – partly because she has deserved her break and she’s working as hard as she does, and partly because it really doesn’t matter. If she gets an allergy pill within the next few minutes, it still won’t kick in soon enough to prevent the inevitable.

The kittens squeak. Leyona still doesn’t make a move to pick up the one that has now crawled onto the photographer’s assistant’s shoulder and indicates that it plans to make the jump over to Leyona’s.

“I think we’ve got the lighting just right now,” the photographer says as he joins them, interrupting the kitten’s plans and buying Leyona a few more moments without close contact with the felines. “Thank you for doing this, ma’am,” he continues, shaking her hand and then reaches out and pets the kitten on his assistant’s shoulder. A few stray hairs wafts in Leyona’s direction and she quickly turns away from them, scrambling for an excuse to do so, and gestures to the sofa.

“Let’s get started. Any particular pose you had in mind?”

He begins to direct her, so caught up in the moment that he doesn’t seem to remember that the woman he, rather harshly, is ordering around is a high-ranking politician. Leyona, for once, doesn’t mind. She quietly does as she’s told, laying all her focus on controlling the allergic reaction that is just starting to take hold, little by little.

This won’t take long, she pep talks herself, but she can feel the tickle begin to blossom deep inside her nose, a tickle that is still light and feathery, but will soon grow into a burning tingle that won’t go away no matter how much she rubs, blows, sniffles, or sneezes. In fact, any attempt at alleviating the tickle will only make it worse. Such is the nature of allergies, unfortunately.

But even the pep talk can’t help her spirits when the assistant begins to drop one adorable fluffball (and harbinger of allergic despair) after another onto her lap. These kittens aren’t quite old enough to shed a whole lot, for which Leyona is immensely grateful, but there’s still a bit of cat hair and dander floating in the air and sticking to her elegant skirt and jacket.

She already feels like she’s going to sneeze. That must be a personal record; normally her allergies are slow-burn but drawn-out affairs with a very predictable progress. A tickle in the nose. Eyes feeling like she’d gotten sand in them on a windy day. Dry, slightly prickly throat. Then her nose would start to run, and she would begin to sniffle. Her eyes would start to run as well. The prickle in her throat would spread to the roof of her mouth and her sinuses. She’d start getting congested. The tickle in her nose would get worse, and worse, until…

Leyona’s head bobs forward in a quick, silent stifle that no one notices. She holds her breath for a few seconds, making sure that sneeze won’t be followed by another. When she’s confident she’s in the clear, she releases the breath she held, and takes another slow breath, wary of the tickle and how fast it can flare up. When she looks down on her lap, one of the kittens is looking straight up at her. It really is adorable. Leyona loves animals. She has no children of her own but doesn’t lack maternal instincts, and this creature stirs those instincts. She wants to hold it close, rock it in her arms, and protect it. This one along with its siblings.

That, however, would be a terrible idea.

Leyona needs to sneeze again, and to ward off the urge, she pinches her nose really hard, hoping that the sudden bolt of pain will distract her from the tickle. The tactic, while painful, works, and she leans her head back and closes her watery eyes for a moment, giving a thick sniff as the congestion really settles in her sinuses.

Okay Leo, it’s bad, but it’s temporary. Hold out.

Well, she can hold out, but she’s not so sure about her nose. Her nostrils twitch slightly, and she wiggles her nose in an attempt at – what, really, soothing the tickle? What a joke - to no avail.

“I was thinking, two on your lap and one on your shoulder, perhaps?” the photographer says. “Melissa?”

The assistant – Melissa – puts one adventurous kitten that has ventured onto the armrest of the sofa back onto Leyona’s lap with the one whose eyes she has fallen in love with. And then she takes the other kitten that is on its way to jump down on the floor and lifts it up. Before she can place it on Leyona’s shoulder though, Leyona shakes her head and holds up a finger in a “hold that thought”-gesture.

“One second, I’m gonna… HNGXtth! Sneeze, ‘scuse me.”

“Bless you, ma’am,” Melissa says with a giggle. “Cat hair gets everywhere, right?”

Leyona nods, smiling as she tries to swallow past the itch in her throat. This would be an excellent moment to inform them that she’s actually allergic to the cats, but the damage has already been done so there’s really no point - they could just as well get their photos before she spirals into a full-blown allergy attack.  

Melissa places the third kitten on Leyona’s shoulder, and it immediately finds her necklace and begins to paw at it. Melissa steps away and the photographer snaps a couple of pictures of the cute scene. Leyona manages to keep a natural-looking smile on her face even though she feels like she has just snorted itching powder. The sneeze did nothing to stop the tickle, it rather exacerbated it, and she thinks she’s probably going to have a real sneezing fit soon. Her poor nose is so, so itchy, it feels like tiny embers flaring up each time she inhales. Oh, so itchy.

Don’t think about it, Leo.

It’s hard not to. She's so itchy!!

One of the kittens on her lap begins to notice her necklace too, and starts to climb its way up. Meanwhile the one that was first to paw at them has noticed her earrings instead and does a 180-turn. This leads to its tail – quite long and very fluffy – getting into her face. It brushes against her already desperately sensitive nose.

She gets her hand up and pushes the tail out of her face, but whether it’s the allergens or just the physical tickle, she can’t stop the inevitable, so she only cups her hand over her mouth and nose again, stifling two, three, four, five sneezes in rapid succession and almost completely silently. But five sneezes are five sneezes, and this time both the photographer and his assistant notice.

“Bless you,” they say in chorus, and Leyona smiles shakily and pulls out the tissue from her pocket, dabbing at her nose, which is now visibly running. She can’t see that herself of course, but she can feel it, and she wipes it away before it can embarrass her too much.

“Thank you, um, I’m so sorry.”

One of the kittens decided to evacuate her shoulder when she sneezed, but the other one has stayed put, and now paws loosely at the tissue as Leyona wipes her nose. The cat is really cute and she can’t help but give it a light pet with her free hand, no matter how much she knows she’s going to regret it.

Her eyes itch like crazy and she wants to rub them with her knuckles, not restraining herself at all, just rub until the itch is quelled. But it won’t be. An allergic itch isn’t that easily fooled into submission. So she sacrifices the one fresh tissue she has left and dabs it at the corners of her eyes and her lash line; tears and some smudged makeup have stained the tissue as she lowers it again, putting it back in her pocket to get it out of sight.

“Could you lift one of them up?” the photographer asks, and mimics what he means. But Leyona is certain that her allergies have just about had it with this challenge, she can barely rein them in, and this is not going to end well.

“Um…” she sniffles, a thick, congested, wet sniffle that should reveal her predicament better than words could; “I don’t think I’ll be able to do that.”

“Why not?” he asks, sounding utterly perplexed.

“B-because I… I…”

The prickle grows in intensity, effectively overtaking her, spreading throughout her nose, from the very tip to the depth of her blocked sinuses, like a wildfire spreading.

She takes a couple of hitching, airy breaths, and she knows, instinctively, that she will not be able to stifle these, it just won’t be possible. The first sneeze is so desperate it turns into a double-sneeze, where the last syllable of the first sneeze is also the first syllable of the second.

“Ah-tSSHiiihh-ISSCHHew! HahhhISSSHH! Oh my g-“ the word is interrupted by a deep, urgent inhale – “yESSSHHhiew!”

“Bless you!” Now there’s a tone of concern in the assistant’s voice and Leyona blushes. She’s been through a lot of weird and uncomfortable situations in her political career and just brushed it off, but this is embarrassing.

At least it could have been worse. It could have been a live interview or photo op. She shudders at the thought.

“Thank you,” she mumbles awkwardly and dabs at her nose with the crumpled tissue. It won’t be enough for much longer, her poor nose is streaming, and she still feels like she needs to sneeze.

The climber cat has jumped off her in shock and fright when she sneezed and is now testing its claws on the sofa, but the two other still remain on her lap, staring up at her with puzzled looks on their furry faces.

“Are… are you alright?” Melissa asks hesitantly.

“I’m fine. But I’m a-ahhh… NKTsgh! A bit allergic to cats.”

Melissa’s jaw drops and her cheeks flush an even darker shade of embarrassment than Leyona’s are.

“Oh my God ma’am, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know…” she says as she scrambles to pick up the three fuzz tails and get them away from the sneezy politician.

Leyona tries her hardest to reduce the sneezes into if not completely quiet then at least dainty stifles, but that possibility has long gone; now she has to give in to them at whatever force they may demand.

“It’s alright, really… hehISSSCHh! EhhAASSCHhoo! They’re adorable; it’s just that they make me sneeze… ahh-ISSSHHuh! Oh my gosh… uhESSCHugh! ‘scuse me…”

Leyona has folded the tissue over and sneezes into it, trying to contain the wetness into the thin paper, but it’s already been used beyond functionality, so it’s starting to fall to pieces in her hands. She still has to sneeze, though. She can’t stop. Just because the cats aren’t still climbing on her doesn’t mean the allergy attack is going to end; no, no, it’s just getting started, and her nose itches so badly it’s insane.  

The photographer looks through the pictures he’s been able to take before Leyona’s allergies interrupted the whole thing.

“We have several really good ones as it is,” he says, conveniently deleting the one that shows Leyona mid-buildup in case she demands to look at them. “My apologies, ma’am. Neither of us had any idea.”

Leyona has dropped the disintegrating tissue on her lap and is now simply sneezing into her hands instead, bending over again and again with full-bodied, loud, harsh, itchy sneezes that don’t seem to taper off at all.

“Ersschew! Oh my God… eISSCHHoo! HehhAASSSCHHH! AaarrGSCHoo!”

Her assistant has returned from her break – sooner than expected – and immediately jumps into action to get her allergic boss properly medicated, hydrated, and equipped with enough tissues to last her through the attack.

Leyona is very grateful that this ridiculous display of uncontrollable allergies is nearing its end, even if she’s probably going to be congested and a bit sneezy the rest of the day.

And once again, she thanks God – sincerely – that this didn’t happen during a live interview with a huge audience.

Because that she’s not sure her dignity would recover from.

***

A few weeks later the magazine drops and Leyona flicks through it, carefully looking at the photos they chose. If you look really closely, you can tell there’s a pinkish tint to her nose and that her eyes seem a little bit shiny and watery, but all in all, unless you know what to look for, you can’t tell she’s on the verge of a massive allergy attack. Her smile looks authentic enough – and it should, because she truly was infatuated with those kitties despite the misery they brought. It wasn’t like they did it on purpose. Yes, it’s a good series of photos, amazingly enough. Dignity kept.

There’s a note attached to her copy of the magazine… technically it’s from Melissa. It reads

We’re sorry, we didn’t mean to. 😔

And then there are three tiny paw prints, placed so they’re in the shape of a heart. Leyona trails her fingertips across the ‘kitty signature’, laughs softly and shakes her head.

Next time, I'll make sure I know in advance exactly what I get myself into. 

Well... it's a goal, at least. 

Edited March 19, 2021 by Chanel_no5

[aggedy_ann]

Love

[Shay]

Great little fic. I always love the cat allergy scenarios where their tail brushes the allergic person's nose and then all hell kind of breaks loose at that point.

[starpollen]

😻❤️❤️❤️☺️❤️❤️❤️😻

[Chanel_no5]

21 hours ago, aggedy_ann said:

Love

❤️

15 hours ago, Shay said:

Great little fic. I always love the cat allergy scenarios where their tail brushes the allergic person's nose and then all hell kind of breaks loose at that point.

Thank you! While I've never seen this in real life, I can absolutely imagine it. Cats, for some reason, seem to LOVE to shove their tails in people's faces!  

2 hours ago, starpollen said:

😻❤️❤️❤️☺️❤️❤️❤️😻

Gotta love our fuzzy feline friends, right?  

 

[NoV]

I especially like the way it gradually dawns on Melissa just how much the kittens are having an effect on Leyona - and the effort Leyona goes to hide her building sneezes!

[oOMariusOo]

@Chanel_no5
I keep reading and rereading your story. In my eyes, this is the most beautiful story that I have read here on the forum for a very long time. I think my preference for allergies goes first to cat allergy. A curious, independent and above all unpredictable little being, able to leap in all directions, slip under your nose and leave a few hairs there in the process. 

With this image and all the catchy phrases like "Her poor nose is so, so itchy, it feels like tiny embers flaring up each time she inhales." Or "... like a wildfire spreading." Or when the photographer asks to lift a cat and she says “I don't think I'll be able to do that.” A clear sign of abandonment and despair. Woohoo, you really electrified me, you really have a knack for writing ! 

I am really a fan, I would surely look for your other fictions. A big thank you to you for this very beautiful story ! (As well as to Picrew for the image he drew). 

Edited March 24, 2021 by oOMariusOo

[Demosthenes]

Wow, this was really fantastic.  Not a lot of cat allergy fics out there.  Thank you!!

[Chanel_no5]

On 3/21/2021 at 1:42 PM, NoV said:

I especially like the way it gradually dawns on Melissa just how much the kittens are having an effect on Leyona - and the effort Leyona goes to hide her building sneezes!

Thank you!   Of course - never let them see you sweat. Or sneeze, I guess, although she didn't succeed there.  

On 3/24/2021 at 10:23 AM, oOMariusOo said:

@Chanel_no5
I keep reading and rereading your story. In my eyes, this is the most beautiful story that I have read here on the forum for a very long time. I think my preference for allergies goes first to cat allergy. A curious, independent and above all unpredictable little being, able to leap in all directions, slip under your nose and leave a few hairs there in the process. 

With this image and all the catchy phrases like "Her poor nose is so, so itchy, it feels like tiny embers flaring up each time she inhales." Or "... like a wildfire spreading." Or when the photographer asks to lift a cat and she says “I don't think I'll be able to do that.” A clear sign of abandonment and despair. Woohoo, you really electrified me, you really have a knack for writing ! 

I am really a fan, I would surely look for your other fictions. A big thank you to you for this very beautiful story ! (As well as to Picrew for the image he drew). 

Thank you so much!  Cat tails fascinates me to no end, one of my cats has this really thin tail and it seems like she has no control over it - but it's a well-calibrated weapon of mass destruction, lol. She often knocks things down with it seemingly by accident. When she comes to lay on my lap she always manages to put the tail into the glass of whatever beverage I'm drinking. I thought it was her just not keeping track of what her tail was doing, but then one time she missed the glass. Got up, moved around, recalibrated her butt so the tip of her tail landed comfortably right in my glass. And then she looked up at me and grinned. That's when I realised that every thing she has "accidentally" knocked over with her "unruly" tail over the years has been on purpose and that she is way smarter than I give her credd for.   But she wouldn't make anyone sneeze on purpose.   She's terrified of loud sounds. 

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I used to be very productive as a writer but the past few years I haven't written much... but I hope to get back into it again. Thank you!! (Picrew isn't a person but an online thing where you can create character pictures. Of course you rarely get the exact look that you're going for, but since I have no artistic talent at all, I can't draw it myself, and it's at least pretty close to how I imagine Leyona.  )

15 hours ago, Demosthenes said:

Wow, this was really fantastic.  Not a lot of cat allergy fics out there.  Thank you!!

Thank you!! I don't write cat allergies very often, as I very much prefer pollen as an allergen myself. However, I've had this image in my mind for quite some time and I thought it was about time I wrote something on it.  

 

[FireFlower3013]

This is glorious! I loved it! The way you describe the kitties makes me want to pet them. 

[oOMariusOo]

@Chanel_no5
Ah ah, uncontrollable cat tails, I've known plenty of them too, I've lived with cats a large part of my life. For example, I once had a cat that had a sleepwalking tail. By moving it while he is sleeping, he himself hits his head, causing him to wake up from his sleep with a start. xD Otherwise by hitting a good number of objects, ending up on the ground, this also happened quite often. I really like the term "Weapon of Mass Destruction", it fits quite well with reality. On the other hand, I have never had a cat that dipped its tail in my glass, but I do not doubt that yours could have done it consciously, I have already had quite cunning and deceitful cats. 

I haven't written much lately either. But you should never urge a writer to write, nor a painter to paint or a sculptor to sculpt. The flame of inspiration can sometimes take a long time to rekindle, but it will always come back one day or another. For my part, I only launch into my writing when I feel inspired, otherwise I tend to get lost a little too much in my thoughts and not move forward in my stories. 

[Chanel_no5]

On 3/26/2021 at 5:24 AM, FireFlower3013 said:

This is glorious! I loved it! The way you describe the kitties makes me want to pet them. 

Thank you so much!   

 

On 3/26/2021 at 11:29 PM, oOMariusOo said:

For example, I once had a cat that had a sleepwalking tail.

Awww, a "sleepwalking tail", that's adorable!!  

On 3/26/2021 at 11:29 PM, oOMariusOo said:

But you should never urge a writer to write, nor a painter to paint or a sculptor to sculpt. The flame of inspiration can sometimes take a long time to rekindle, but it will always come back one day or another.

This is true. The irony is that my stress levels go down if I'm creative, but to be creative my stress levels can't be too high.   Hopefully I'll manage to get back into being more creative. 

[Tyko93]

Wonderfully written, nice descriptions and tension.  It was a great read

[HowFitting]

O M G …. Wow ..  just 🥵 

[Reiecta]

Good story. I don't know why, but I find cat allergies so cute. Just the thought of such innocent creatures making people sniffle and sneeze. This story is just *chef's kiss*

[Icyfall]

This is very good thank you for sharing