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The Maid Who Couldn't Stop Sneezing (F)

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The Maid Who Couldn’t Stop Sneezing (F)


Realised I have not written a sneezy maid story in a while, which are usually my favourite ones to write. I hope to continue this. Enjoy :) 


Carly paused mid-dusting, allowing her finger to creep up beneath her nose. Her beautiful green eyes took on the glazed, far-away look that told all that knew her that one of her uncontrollably forceful sneezes was starting to brew deep inside of her; a signal to either steel themselves or run for the hills! Motes of dust flickered through the dim light of the dining hall, all seemingly conspiring to find their way into Carly’s increasingly flared nostrils. She took a violent hitching breath… then another.... and then all was lost!


Casting her feather duster to the floor she desperately cupped both hands over her nose and mouth as a huge sneeze erupted from her. As she snapped forward with the force of it, she brought one knee up, seemingly to meet her head halfway; her tight maid’s uniform stretching tightly, and dangerously close to splitting from the raw, violent release.




An unmistakable mist of spray burst around her fingers, momentarily eclipsing the dust in its aerial ballet. She felt her cap shift, her carefully secured black ringlets of hair pulled loose. Her ears rang as the sneeze reverberated from the wooden panelling, echoing through the endless rooms of the stately hall where she was employed.


How Carly wished that her sneezes would be more ladylike, rather than the enormous, bellowing, nose-clearing, body-bending monsters that she had developed as she had got older. As a child, her sneezes had been unremarkable, as a teenager they had deepened, becoming louder and less controllable. Now, at twenty-five, it sometimes felt like she was trying to expel a hurricane through her mouth and nose, the sneezes taking complete control of her, leaving her dizzy and breathless. Dust and pollen were her worst enemies, her nostrils trembling with even the thought of the dreaded grains.


‘Carly?’ The voice came from behind her, stern and unforgiving. She sniffed desperately, trying to quell the ghost of a tickle that danced deep inside. Satisfied that it was caged for now, Carly turned to face her superior, acutely aware of the deep flush the sneeze had spread across her pale cheeks.


‘Yes ma’am?’ she answered, her voice husky with it’s recent exertion. Mrs. Callaughton surveyed her with her steely, critical glare. 


‘You really need to get those sneezes under control, now more than ever girl. I came to tell you that you are to prepare the fourth floor guest bedroom. We are to receive Sir Richardson, a friend of our benevolent master Lord Anthony. He requires a time of convalescence, after his tour of duty with the regiment overseas. He is suffering from a condition of his nerves…’


Mrs Callaughton’s voice dropped, her tone one of utmost severity.


‘...and he simply must have peace and quiet in order to recover. So, there must be no sneezing, no making an exhibition of yourself.’


She thrust out a hand, in which were half a dozen freshly laundered handkerchiefs. 


‘Maybe this will help you control them, but God help you girl if you start sneezing when Sir Richardson arrives. I won’t be responsible for any upset.’


And with that denouement, she turned on her heels and strode away into the dusty gloom. Carly looked down at the handful of handkerchiefs, and something about the sight of them immediately made her want to sneeze again. She brought the whole bunch of them to her nose as the deep, hitching breaths began to overtake her, eyes rolling upwards with the irresistible sensation. Her chest rose and fell, hips bucking with each violent inhalation until…




...she released a monstrous sneeze into the thick wad of cotton, barely muffling the colossal blast of sound. A cascade of her black curls tumbled loose from her cap, while her long nose continued to flare and tremble as she held it within the soft handkerchiefs. When finally convinced that there would not be another, Carly lifted her head and took a gentle, experimental breath. The dust seemed to have been expelled, and she sighed with relief.


How was she going to keep her sneezes under control? It was something she had never been able to do, her best hope had always been in providing as much of a barrier as possible, to stifle the sound. In the past she had found cushions to be the most effective way at muffling them, but while working around the hall, they were not always going to be to hand. Plus her sneezes mostly came with such a speed and ferocity, there was very little time to control them.


Sniffing quietly to herself, Carly started up the staircase that led to the fourth floor guest room.




Upon opening the door, she all but shuddered with what she saw. The room had not been opened for at least two years, and everything within was covered in a sheen of pale dust. She paused on the threshold, clutching her feather duster and polishing clothes like weapons against the massed ranks before her.


‘Need a hand?’ Carly turned, startled, and found herself faced with the newest maid of the household, a petite, freckled redhead named Janice. With her blue eyes and heart-shaped face, she was show-stoppingly beautiful, a fact that had not been lost on Carly as it had not been lost on the rest of the household. Janice stuck her head into the room.


‘Wow - this is going to get you sneezing like crazy,’ she grinned, her small upturned nose giving her an impish air. Carly nodded, already feeling the unmistakable tingle starting to worm it’s way up through her sinuses. She tried to keep her expression neutral, not to let the building sneeze be obvious but the sensation was already making her features curl with the intensity of it.


‘Your sneezing already?’ Janice raised her eyebrows incredulously. ‘Here, let me help you out here.’ She drew out her own handkerchief, towards Carly. When Carly didn’t take it, she stepped closer and cupped it lightly around the other maid’s nose and mouth. 


Carly was too surprised to react. With that, and with the snowballing sneezy sensation that was roaring up within her, she barely had time to raise a hand to warn Janice of what was about to come blasting out of her, when the cataclysmic sneeze came.




She snapped forward, sneezing fully into the handkerchief and into Janice’s hand, with such force that the material was blown loose from her fingers, and fluttered down to the dusty boards at their feet. If anything it only seemed bigger than any sneeze she had ever released before and echoed down the halls, while Janice’s eyes grew shiny and round with wonder.


‘Oh wow!’ she said. ‘You really are going to need some help with this.’     

Edited by NoV

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This is great

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Looking forward to more

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Love it

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I can’t wait for more. Janice is such a fun addition. 

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You are so good at writing these. I do hope you continue 

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Mr. Black Cherry Berry Tea

Amazing as always, sir! Really looking forward to more of this one.

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