i'm a lesbian

[bloom]

this forum is obviously not my primary stomping ground anymore (is it really anybody's?) but it was important and formative for me in a lot of ways so it feels correct to make the following announcement here:

turns out there was at least one extra reason all along that every relationship i ever had with a man was such a massive failure. it wasn't just that i was dating complete losers (although lets be real, i was; those relationships would have failed even if they were with non-men, but), it's that men are fundamentally and literally incapable of giving me what i actually need in a relationship. men can't do for me what women & others can, they have never been able to do that. and i always knew this but only like 40 hours ago crystalized it into what that so obviously means: i'm not bisexual, as i've thought for the last 15 years. what the fuck lmao. being with a man is inherently traumatizing for me. i am a huge dyke.

holy shit, why was i so desperate to hold onto bisexuality? mainly because of the bisexual community, i'm sure, but even throughout my entire adulthood i maintained that i had a strong preference for women (and other non-men. lmao). i just couldn't make that final jump until now.

it's so bittersweet. the bisexual community is so beautiful and vibrant and i called it home for so long; i will miss it terribly in almost every way. but realizing this has opened so many doors for me too, i know, and also closed a lot of really toxic ones. i just... don't have to have men as a primary feature in my life at all, unless i want to. (i don't. obviously. not to say i won't have men as friends, obv, lmao, but they don't need to center in my life anymore!)

i have cried over this so much but in times before when i had this thought i always became afraid and walked it back almost immediately. i was never ready. but the second i realized for sure the other night all i wanted to do was tell everybody i've ever known the truth:

i'm a lesbian

[RiversD]

Congratulations on sticking the epiphany! Hope it leaves you feeling less burdened in all regards <3

[Guest]

Congratulations, hope this leads to happy times

[Rhomberg Rabbit]

I called myself bisexual for a long time before realizing I'd rather be with men. I can relate

[oOMariusOo]

Congratulations to you for finally being able to find your identity. I think I understand your resentment quite well, life is just a perpetual reflection on who you are and having to switch from one genre to another is sometimes very difficult. It's great that you have succeeded in passing this milestone. I wish you all the best in your new life as a lesbian. May you always be happy and at peace with yourself. 

[Morningsmith]

Congratulations on finding what it really sounds like you needed to find. One bi guy's opinion: there should be no reason why you need to keep seeing men in order to keep your bi friends!

[Mr. Black Cherry Berry Tea]

Nice! Congrats on figuring it out. It is always wonderful when you begin to make more sense of yourself and become more certain of what you want and need.