Zoom Sneezing (Self, F)

[v a n i l l a]

(Disclaimer: I'm fully vaccinated. 🎈✨)

Sooo, I'm banking on this just being allergies. Not quite sure what it would be an allergic reaction to, since it's been happening even if I don't go outside. But I've been sneezing a lot lately, which is quite unusual for me. Plus, I've had a bit of a cough since yesterday, and today I've been blowing my nose nonstop. (I've also been pilfering tissues from my roommate's tissue box but I should really stop that 'cause they're gonna get mad at me if I end up using them all up LOL.) I have a constant tickle in my nose that WILL. NOT. GO. AWAY. I feel like I'm always on the brink of a sneeze, but it's juuust out of reach. 

I can't breathe through my nose without making sound, which I hateee. The constant sniffling thing is cute when I watch someone else doing it. But I don't enjoy it happening to me. So I've just resigned to being a mouth-breather for the time being. 🤔 My throat was really scratchy yesterday, and I went through a bunch of cough drops, but it doesn't hurt that much anymore. It does feel really itchy, though? Which is somehow worse? Or just equally bad, but different.

Anywayyy, I had class today. And my classes are all with the same nine students, and we have to have our cameras on at all times or we'll get called out. And I kept sneezing my damn head off during class. And I was just so grateful that I was muted for all of that, because if the classes had been in person... Well, the sneezes were really loud, so... that would have made me want to crawl into a tiny hole and die there. (Granted, my sneezes usually only get like this when I'm getting sick—which is way too fucking often, tbh—but it could also just be from bad allergies...? The sinus headache helps the allergies theory, though it could technically go either way. 

Aaand as I'm writing this, there is now a new development. It now hurts to cough. Yaaaay.

ANYWAY, during my class with the whole mandatory-camera-on thingy, I started sneezing, and my professor blessed me. And then everyone looked at me. And I know you can't really tell when someone's looking at you over zoom, but I just feltttt itttt. GAH. A part of me shriveled up and died in that moment, but externally, I just laughed it off. And I had been about to sneeze again, but my professor's random blessing had gotten me so jarred that I lost the tickle, and I just waited there with a lingering itchiness for the next eon and a half. 

Now my sinus headache is getting worse. Pleeeease just be some bitchy allergies. 😭 Lmao I just had a mental image of me being like, "Oh, don't worry, it's probably just allergies," and then there's this low voiceover voice that just goes, "...It wasn't." 

Also, I was not the only one to sneeze during class today! I was just the only one who got called out. Not that I... pay attention to such things, of course... 🤔

[oOMariusOo]

It's nice to be able to reread a new self-obs, it's been a long time. Thanks to you for sharing. We are two to have colds today, I have some of the same symptoms as you right now. What's worse than a constant itch in the back of your nose ? I would say constant itch + sinus burn + headache, that's what I'm having right now, the total. 

I don't quite understand why do you hope it's due to an allergy ?
Would you rather have allergies for a whole season rather than having sinusitis for a few days ?

I sympathize with what you went through on the webcam, it's a bit of my obsession. Usually I have a mental block when I have to sneeze outside or in front of other people. But I feel like I don't have this mental block when I speak on Skype by video and it scares me. Anyway, I am wholeheartedly with you, I hope you will feel better soon after a good night's sleep. Take good care of yourself and be courageous. 

[NoV]

Sounds embarrassing - I would have been mortified if someone had mentioned me sneezing in from of a whole class, Zoom or not.

Would you have had time to turn the camera and microphone off? I think I would have done that and claimed a technical hitch... (um... not that type of hitch )

[v a n i l l a]

@oOMariusOo Oof, that does not sound fun. I hope you feel better! ❤️ For me, I feel like allergies are usually a sort of dull constant, whereas a cold will go from being kind of bad to suddenly kicking your ass. So if it's just one day where my allergies are particularly bad, that's much more tolerable in my opinion lol. And aww, thank you! I appreciate the support.

@NoV Yeah I died a little bit 😅 And nah, I feel like if I did that, it would call even more attention to it, and then there'd definitely be some sort of conversation about it, and then I would implode. But I should've moved out of frame LOL. Also, I appreciate the hitch pun. 👌

[oOMariusOo]

@v a n i l l a
Oh thank you, your compassion touches me. I would say that I feel a little better than yesterday yes. I no longer have the sinuses that are burning me but I still feel a little pain. The headache is still there but it has eased. The sneezing is also a little less present but as a bonus I feel quite weakened, a bit like I had too much sneezing yesterday and that it tired me. 

And you Vanilla, are you feeling better today ?
Were you able to determine if it was an allergy day or a cold ?

I don't have any allergies, but I understand better what you meant.