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How to Sneeze


PennyLane

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Posted

New story! "Partnership" and "Flames and Royal Blood" kinda got me burnt out so I'm starting a fresh one to get the juices going again. Hope yall enjoy!

 

 

HHh-EEEIISHHH!”

“Bless-“

“IhhSHOOO!”

“Bl-“

TCHIUU!! SNFFFF! Noah, I don’t think I can stoh… stoh… HAGH?!”

“Bless you, love”

HAAAATCH-SHEWWWWW!!!.....snf…ugh”

                On the fifteenth of May, a young couple sat on a bench outside the town square mall. To the left, a concerned looking young man holding a pack of tissues in one hand and rubbing his seatmate’s back with the other. To the right, the aforementioned seatmate was a young lady, currently under the threshold of an itchy, perfume allergy attack.

                “That last one really got to you, huh?” Noah was a golden retriever of a man… almost literally. As if his sunshine smile and endless supply of energy wasn’t enough, this young veterinarian specialized in the car of dogs. Every day he comes home covered in some sort of fur, gleaming head to toe with excitement to see his person.

                “…tchiu!... no kidding.” April, Noah’s person. A young writer that got her break with a hit romance series at 20, and now writes relationship psychology books for her growing fanbase. The people April loves, she loves A LOT. But to any others, her resting bitch face turns them away. But that never fazes her; April loves her secluded life in suburbia, with the most loving husband, and a house with a white picket fence… there is just, one thing.

                “Ugh,” the strawberry blonde rested her head in her hands, “just once it would be nice if you had an allergy instead of me.” April had a sneezing fetish. She loved the hitching, the holdbacks, the flaring nostrils, all of it. What April also had was a plethora of allergies, and a weak immune system.

                “Hey there, bunny.” His green eyes met her brown, “you know there’s nothing in this world I want more than to make you happy. We’ll find something to set my nose off soon, I just know it.” To the newlywed’s dismay, Noah had no allergies at all, and he had the strongest immune system on this side of the river.

                That was their routine: Noah took care of his beautiful bride, while April planned more ways to see the groom sneeze. It was a weird bond, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Posted

Wonderful start and premise. If ideas are welcome, I'm thinking this couple needs to get experimental with chinnknii, feathers, etc. Course I'm biased bc inducing with a partner is my weakness 😅 😍

Posted

Interesting to see where this goes

Posted

I don't usually read stories with female sneezes (don't know why actually), but this one got my attention. I like it, the spelling of the sneezes is really nice as well. Hope you'll continue. :D

Posted

O shit this is so good!

Posted

please give us more!
I'm already in love with them🥺

Posted

Love this already!

Posted

     

On 1/10/2022 at 12:38 AM, LapidotLover22 said:

Wonderful start and premise. If ideas are welcome, I'm thinking this couple needs to get experimental with chinnknii, feathers, etc. Course I'm biased bc inducing with a partner is my weakness 😅 😍

@LapidotLover22 Oh you've read my mind~ inducing will definitely be a part of later chapters

On 1/14/2022 at 1:23 PM, ERWcst said:

Interesting to see where this goes

@ERWcst👀

On 1/14/2022 at 2:19 PM, Bencutio said:

I don't usually read stories with female sneezes (don't know why actually), but this one got my attention. I like it, the spelling of the sneezes is really nice as well. Hope you'll continue. :D

@Bencutio thank you! I usually prefer male sneezes as well, but I'm such a softie for a guy care taker 🙈

On 1/14/2022 at 9:38 PM, anna said:

O shit this is so good!

@anna thank you! 😎

On 1/19/2022 at 4:17 PM, MiraKarat said:

please give us more!
I'm already in love with them🥺

@MiraKarat thank you!!!

On 1/23/2022 at 10:30 PM, JustReading said:

Love this already!

    @JustReading ❤️

 

               The slam of a car door. Heavy raindrops greeting the skin, soaking through mint-colored scrubs. Dirty blond hair clinging to the forehead. Worn, black work shoes squeaked in greeting as the front door opened, beckoning him in with the warmth of a fire and the smell of baking cookies.

                She’s been baking again.

                Noah grinned ear to ear as he shook his head like a dog, flinging rainwater on the surrounding walls.

                “Love? I’m home~”

                A soft fire crackled under the living room mantle, casting shadows across the hallway as the vet walked through the house.

                Not in her office, not in the kitchen, not in the bedroom…where is…ah.

                In the bathroom. April lay beneath the bubbles, only letting her eyes, pink nose, and slightly parted mouth peak through the water. She looked so serene…

                Flick.

                “hihhhh?!! Hih-SHEWWW!”

                “HAhahahahahahhaha!”

                Noah sat on the edge of the tub as his wife rose from the water, bubbles clinging to her wet skin while she sat and rubbed at her now glistening nose.

                “Love,” she rung the water from her strawberry blond hair, “a simple ‘hello’ would have sufficed.” Her fake glare only made the culprit chuckle more. They both new even the slightest touch to her nose would result in at least one sneeze.

                “I know I know, I’m sorry, and bless you” he caressed her wet forehead, running his hand down to lightly grip her chin. “I couldn’t help it! You looked so peaceful so… easy!”

                April splashed him at that statement, immediately soaking what bits of him the rain hadn’t already touched. Although he laughed, Noah was discretely trying to analyze the state of his wife: her forehead was warm.

                “What in the world enticed you to take a bath at 5 o’clock in the afternoon?”

                “Besides being able to give you a wonderful sight when you came home from work?”

                The vet hummed in appreciation and kissed her temple. Definitely warm.

                “Well, I came home from the grocery store, and it was absolutely poring. I was soaked, the food was soaked, my clothes were soaked, I decided to take a bath to warm up.”

                “Was this before or after you decided to start a fire and bake a whole batch of cookies?”

                “After~,” April stood from the bath and grabbed a towel off the adjacent hook. She took her time drying off while she watched her husband undress in front the bathroom mirror. “I wanted to warm up the house and start the cookies before you got back.”

                “Ah I see. And did the rain affect your allergies at all? Any flare ups?”

                “Just the usual couple sneezes. Although they left me more congested than usual, and I have a bit of a headache. Probably just my sinuses or something.”

                “Ah huh. Well, let me shower and get all this dog hair off me, then I’ll come make us some dinner, yeah? You go get dressed and warm up by the fire.”

                “Sounds great. I’m still a bit c-coohhld, snf, from the raind… hikch!..hhhh-hhchiew!”

                “Bless you baby.”

.               .               .

                It was always such a delicate line, April being sick. She was so stubborn about it. Her husband knew that if he just came right out and diagnosed it, she would deny. It had to be subtle.

                “Honey, it’s so cold outside, how about I make us some soup for dinner?”

                “Sounds delicious!”

                From the kitchen Noah could watch her on the couch, the way her she absentmindedly pressed her sleeve under her nose every few seconds. How she sniffled from behind her computer screen. The slight rasp that was entering her voice.

                Hhh-ktchiu! HAhhsheww! Hahh..” the sound of a tissue being plucked, “HHHMPPSHHH!!! Ughhh…”

                “Bless you, baby. Those allergies sound kind’ve rough, want some medicine from the cabinet?”

                Sniffle yes please.”

                Two nighttime Mucinex pills were brought to her along with her bowl of soup. She accepted them with a grateful smile and ate the soup greedily. The two talked bout their days, his vet clinic and her book, while she grew increasingly congested and drowsy looking.

                At the invitation to cuddle, April closed her laptop and crawled onto Noah’s chest, placing her head just on top of his heartbeat. Conversation slowed to a stop, replaced by the crackle of the dying fire. Noah played with his wife’s hair, feeling the heat radiating off her frame.

                Now is the time.

                “Hey baby?”

                “Hm?”

                “How are you feeling?”

                She shifted a bit on top of him and sniffled. “Not so good.”

                “Oh”, a form hand was put on her back, rubbing soothing circles up and down, “I think you may have a cold.”

                “I think you’re right.” She sighed, and immediately fell asleep, soft snores mixing with the cracking of the burning wood.

                Strong arms gently urged her to sit up, before he shifted from underneath her weight and lifted her bridal style out from the living room, and into their bedroom. Noah undressed his sleeping bride before laying her under the sheets and leaving her to sleep while he cleaned up the kitchen.

Posted

Ohhhhh I just LOVE these two! This is just gorgeous. 

Posted

Can’t wait for the inducing chapters! 

Posted

Will he catch it also? Maybe even try to hide it himself? Loving this story! 🥰 

Posted

Love how this is developing, fab writing 

Posted

This story is absolutely wonderful I truly enjoy it please update soon but please take your time there’s no rush 

Posted

This story is so cute, I like it a lot so far! Can't wait to read more :) 

Posted

They are so cute ! I love it. Female sneezes are not usually my favorite, but those two are just so perfect. I like it.

Posted

This is so sweet!! I love these two, they’re adorable

I’m so glad you have plans to continue this

Posted

          

On 1/28/2022 at 5:06 PM, Heathercd said:

Ohhhhh I just LOVE these two! This is just gorgeous. 

@Heathercd Thank you so much!!

On 1/28/2022 at 5:52 PM, queerkinkarchive said:

Can’t wait for the inducing chapters! 

@queerkinkarchive ;)

On 1/28/2022 at 11:50 PM, RipleyToo said:

Will he catch it also? Maybe even try to hide it himself? Loving this story! 🥰 

@RipleyToo🥰

On 1/29/2022 at 5:46 PM, Engmanny said:

Love how this is developing, fab writing 

@Engmanny thank you darling

On 1/29/2022 at 9:26 PM, NickG1998 said:

This story is absolutely wonderful I truly enjoy it please update soon but please take your time there’s no rush 

@NickG1998 thank you for your patience!

On 1/30/2022 at 8:03 PM, lacrima said:

This story is so cute, I like it a lot so far! Can't wait to read more :) 

@lacrima so glad you're enjoying!

On 1/30/2022 at 11:03 PM, Care said:

They are so cute ! I love it. Female sneezes are not usually my favorite, but those two are just so perfect. I like it.

@Care  Me neither! I mainly like the care taking aspect of loving guys. Male sneezes are my preference tho, so here's this chapter😈

1 hour ago, flowerbearfalls said:

This is so sweet!! I love these two, they’re adorable

I’m so glad you have plans to continue this

      @flowerbearfalls aw!! thank you!!

 

 

                Date night. Upon Noah’s request, the couple had gone out to their favorite hole in the wall restaurant for a much needed night out. Between the two of them, they’d practically ordered everything on the menu.

                “There’s only one bite of chocolate cake left.”

                “Seems there is.”

                “I’ll thumb wrestle you for it.”

                “You’re on.”

                Knives and forks rattled on the table with the force of the struggle. Noah was sure he was going to lose when April’s grip suddenly loosened. Her eyes became fixed on someone across the restaurant. Following her gaze, Noah saw their waiter in a corner waving a hand in front of his face as his chest heaved against the fabric of his white dress shirt. The waiter took a few more shaky breaths before doubling down.

                HHHHhhhh….hihh…hahh….MMMPKK-chuu!!” Only a half stifle was achieved by him pinching the red nostrils between his fingers.

                A look back at his wife confirmed what Noah secretly hoped wouldn’t happen. Her cheeks were glowing red. Eyes dilated. Even her hand in their forgotten game of thumb wrestle was warmer now. Jealousy crawled up Noah’s spine and leaked into his chest to see his wife so turned on by some college kid working the night shift.

                As if on some cue, the waiter came to their tables looking for any need of refills or other such things. The vet’s answer was a request for the check. Empty plates were picked up while Noah rummaged around for his wallet. He was looking in his jacket pocket when he could hear the waiter begin to build up again.

                Snf, ugh…hhh….hihhhh..

                He looked panicked. Both hands were full with plates, forcing the white collared worker to stand there and hitch in front of them. From this close, the movement of his nostrils was almost hypnotizing: how they flexed and flared, eagerly fighting against whatever composure still held them back. Once again shirt buttons strained to hold against his heaving chest, expanding to the rhythm of his hitching breath.

                I-I’m sohhhhhh s-sorry…hih!....I…snf…I-I have…I have tohhhhhhhh… hiHHHAAGHHHSHOOO!!!

                Miraculously the plates remained balanced atop his hands. A fine mist erupted from his mouth and landed in little droplets onto the table. He looked absolutely mortified.

                White, jealous anger bubbled in Noah’s chest. He knew it wasn’t rational, who could help a sneeze? But that was his wife. Seeing her blush like that for another man…

                Through her aroused fog, April could recognize the uncomfortable jealousy in her husband. She knew it would be best to get out of here quickly. Retrieving more than enough money to cover their bill and tip, she gently put the cash in the waiter’s apron and sent him on his way, assuring no harm was done, and wishing him to feel better.

                Looking down, April could see her blouse was now covered in small droplets. It was as good of an excuse as any to give her husband a chance to cool down before they rode home.

                “I’m gonna use the bathroom before we go, honey. Be right back.”

                And so she went, leaving Noah at the table. His jealousy simmered down, turning from hot anger to a sense of longing. He wanted to make April blush. He wanted to make her so happy she squirmed in the middle of a restaurant. If only his god damn nose wasn’t so resilient… or maybe not.

.               .               .

                Coming out the bathroom, April dried her damp hands onto her pants while she scanned for the table with a fuming golden retriever. Instead, what she walked up to was her husband hunched over the table, his back trembling.

                “Noah are you… crying?”

                Their eyes met. Yes, his were red rimmed, but so were his nostrils, and they also had what looked like…pepper?!

                “Noah!” April leaned down in a hush and spoke into his ear, “What in the world are doing huffing pepper in the middle of a restaurant?!”

                “I…hih!...I just wa-hanted t-to sdeeze for you…but…hihhh…hah???...snf… ndow it’s is stuck and…and…hhhAHH?!?... ihhh it tickles!”

                Of all places- here. Now. She had to resist the urge to chastise his childishness. Instead, April grabbed her husband by the wrist and pulled him outside to their car.

                “I’mb sorry April…ihhh…I shouldn’t’ve…MMM?!”

                Hot lips leaned onto his from across the driver’s seat. Fervent hands wrapped around his back and pulled at the fabric of his shirt. Pepper in the nose was momentarily forgotten while the couple explored each other’s mouths in the moonlight of the front seat. The passion was only broken by feminine lips pulling away to gaze at her partner.

                “You’re so hot when you’re jealous.”

                “Oh yeah?”

                “Yes.”

                Her slender finger came up to his nose, slowly tracing down the length of the bridge.

                “You do get blinded by it, did you know that?”

                “I…ihhhh…w-wait…huhhhhhiihhh?!?”

                “You forget how resilient your nose is.”

                Slowly the tip of her finger came to the tip of his nose, teasing down the septum. Pink nostrils flared in eager greeting to her touch, and she greeted them back, tracing soft figure eights around the trembling appendage. Back and forth…

                “Tickles….t-tickles!! Hih!! Hagh….snf…ihhhhhhih! Snf! I-If you keep going I…I…I!” She looked onto his nose, more than enjoying the sight of the two fully outstretched “o”s before her. Her hips wriggled absentmindedly in rhythm while she moaned softly.

                Through slitted eyes Noah could see his affect on her, and he was vey pleased. In the last moments of composure, he reached across to her seat and placed both hands on her waist, fully facing toward her chest.

                Pure delight rose in April’s cheeks and between her legs. She ran her finger down his septum one last time before leaning forward to offer her cleavage for his use.

                ihhhhHHHHIHHHHH!!!! HIH-AIIIIIYYYYYSHOOOOO!!! HASHHHHEWWW!!! ASHHHHHHOOOO!!!! Snf!...ihihhh!...HIH!?...gonna…GODDA!!!! HAAHHHHHGGGTCHIUUUUUU!!!!”

                Each release landed perfectly in her cleavage, spreading warmth across the center of her chest. Noah’s hands grabbed harder onto her waist with every sneeze and pulling her closer onto him. By the end of the fit April was shaking with the force of Noah’s last sneeze, rocking them both.

                The vet collapsed at the end, leaning against the car door behind him. His wife followed suit, laying her head on his chest to listen to his heartbeat as he sniffled above.

                “So…snf… shall we go home to… finish the session?”

                “Please.”

               

Posted

🔥 🥵

 

Totally NOT where I expected this to go and I am so happy to be wrong! Dear. Lord. Amazing

Posted

I love this! 

Posted

This keeps getting better and better!! 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Woah that is amazing

Posted

Oooooooooh! I’m reading this for, I don’t know, the third time and I still feel like I’m melting. 😍🥰😘

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