Undoing the Damage (Maya/Carina, Station 19, F/F)

[wannablessedbe]

HAI EVERYBODY! I HAVE A NEW FANDOM. Not new to the world, just new to me lol. I finally watched Station 19 because there was enough queer buzz floating around social media to make me think it would be worth my while...AND IT WAS. Maya and Carina are an EPIC bi-con power couple!! They have amazing chemistry, and frankly Carina makes Maya a much better version of herself. Also they are suuuuper hot together. There is a decent amount of world-building in this first part that tells you most of what you need to know about the two of them and their relationship; but here are the basics:

• Maya is a firefighter (at the fire station that the show is titled after--Station 19), and a former olympic gold medalist in track and field
• Carina is an OB/GYN at the hospital from Grey's Anatomy (this show is a spinoff of that show, and there is some character crossover)
• Carina is from Italy and has an insanely sexy accent
• They are both bi
• They are married, but haven't been for that long
• They both had seriously abusive dads and absent/neglectful moms
• Maya has never been in any kind of serious relationship before Carina--she was basically allergic to monogamy--so she's never had anyone who wanted to stick around and help her work through her shit before this
• Maya's response to trauma triggers is generally to lash out and get really mean/act tough because that's how she was treated as a kid, and it's how she's always treated herself (i.e. she fully internalized the abuse), and Carina is really the only one who's ever been able to break that cycle.

SO AS YOU CAN SEE this set-up is just BEGGING for a sickfic to help Maya work through her issues, and start to heal some of that trauma with someone who truly loves her. Final note, I do NOT speak Italian, so all the Italian here is directly from google translate (except for bambina, which is what Carina calls Maya all the time. Squee!)

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Undoing the Damage

A Maya/Carina fic for SFF

(Station 19)

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Carina was not particularly surprised to find the A shift was out on a call when she arrived at the firehouse in the early evening, though she’d been hoping against hope for a slow day that would give her wife a chance to rest. Two weeks ago, Carina had brought home a cold from the hospital; and as careful as she tried to be with hand sanitizer and disinfectant wipes, she couldn’t stop her blonde bambina from cuddling her and kissing her and doting over her, so by the time she started feeling better, Maya was sniffling and sneezing. 

It had been a full week now since the stubborn firefighter first started having symptoms; but instead of getting better, she only seemed to be getting worse, probably because she refused to let herself rest. For Carina, it had just been a head cold, with sniffles and sneezes, a dry cough and a sore throat that all cleared up after five or six days; but stubborn Maya, Olympic gold medalist Maya, eyes-forward, embrace-the-pain Maya, had continued going on her 5:30am runs every morning and following her normal grueling work schedule of 24-hour shifts at the firehouse without any breaks. And that was no way to get better.

By day 5 of Maya’s cold, Carina could hear the cough starting to move down into her chest, where it rattled softly with congestion. The sweet-tempered Italian doctor tried to gently coax her wife to rest more, to drink tea and take expectorant; but Maya just got tense and snappish and said over and over that it was really no big deal, and she’d run races with worse illnesses than this. I can handle more pain than this was her mantra when she was triggered; Carina knew this. She also knew that if she pushed too hard, Maya would just lash out, so she tried to give her wife space to deal with her cold symptoms how she wanted to, even though it broke her heart to watch her bambina suffer so needlessly. It had been so easy for Maya to dote over Carina and take care of her when she wasn’t feeling well; why couldn’t she let Carina do the same for her?

But that was why Carina was here now, at the fire station in the middle of Maya’s 24-hour shift, with her arms full of groceries. It was each shift’s job to cook their own meals family-style, and in the time they’d been together, Carina had started coming over occasionally when their schedules lined up and surprising them with a homecooked Italian feast. Tonight she was making Maya’s favorite soup, minestra d’orzo. There was also homemade pasta carbonara and a large green salad to feed the crew of hungry firefighters, but Carina doubted that Maya would touch anything except the soup. The cranky blonde had not been eating well all week; at least, not during the times when they’d been together, and there was no reason to think that would be any different at work. Since she refused to let herself admit she was sick, she also wouldn’t admit she had no appetite for normal food, and she was too proud to ask for comfort food. Carina doubted whether Maya even understood the concept of sick day comfort food. 

But, they would get there. Slow and steady, Carina would show her wife that it was safe to be sick and vulnerable now; not like when she was a child, trapped in an abusive home with a father who pushed her so hard in her Olympic training that she had once casually mentioned that he’d driven off without her after a track meet and forced her to walk home twenty miles in the rain, because even though she had come in first place, she hadn’t beaten her own best time. 

Carina actually shivered just thinking about how casually Maya had said it, like it was a perfectly okay thing and not an example of horrific abuse. She was very grateful that Maya had a therapist now, a former firefighter who specialized in working with other firefighters. But all the talking in the world wouldn’t help if they didn’t reinforce those lessons at home—and Carina was determined to continue to show her wife that she was safe, she was loved, and she had nothing to prove to anyone ever again.

The food was all prepared by 7:00, but the crew didn’t get back from their call until after 10pm, soot-smudged and sweaty and very excited to see the fresh, hot meal that was ready and waiting for them. Carina knew the call must have been a long one, because they all filed into the beanery and began filling their plates straight from the firetruck, without bothering to shower first, which they normally would. They all thanked Carina enthusiastically, digging in without any formality. A few minutes went by, but Maya did not appear.

“Where is Maya? Wasn’t she with you?” Carina frowned, watching the rest of the team happily eating their food.

“She said she was going to shower first,” Vic said, gulping a mouthful of iced tea to wash down her spaghetti. “I know she’s a machine and all, but if you can use your hot-Italian-doctor-wife mojo and get her to take a sick day tomorrow, that would probably be, you know, a really good thing. She is not doing great right now.”

“Ah, yes. This is why I’m here,” Carina sighed, unsurprised when several of the others gave disbelieving snorts and muttered yeah right and good luck with that under their breath.

“Twenty bucks says Carina can do it. Bishop takes her first sick day tomorrow,” Dean waggled his eyebrows, slapping a twenty-dollar bill on the table.

“Oh, you’re on. Never gonna happen. Olympic gold medalist Maya Bishop does not take sick days,” Jack snorted, reaching for his own wallet. 

“Maya has never taken a sick day?” Carina raised an eyebrow, knowing she shouldn’t be surprised, but unable to wrap her mind around the idea. Never? As in, ever? Being a firefighter was a dangerous job even when they were clear-headed and at the top of their game. But the idea of Maya running headlong into danger when she was sick and weak and possibly not up to it, in all honesty, made the Italian woman’s blood run cold.

“Hey, it’s not like we haven’t tried to reason with her,” Andy shrugged, reaching for the pasta bowl to refill her plate. “But you know Maya. Embrace the pain. Try to tell her it’s okay to take a break when you need it, she just gets mad and says you should take a break if you want one, but she doesn’t need to.”

“Lo so. Okay,” Carina sighed, making up her mind. “And you two—” she smacked Jack lightly on the back of the head as she passed him, eyeballing him and Dean disapprovingly the way she used to with her little brother. “Shame on you for making bets when my bambina is sick and miserable.” She swooped down and grabbed the cash they’d both dropped on the table. “I am taking this to buy her medicine and sorbetto.” She could hear the others laughing good-naturedly at Jack and Dean as she left the room, and she distinctly heard Vic’s voice saying never mess with a fire wife as the door to the beanery swung closed behind her.

Down the hall, through the locker rooms, Carina heard the sound of Maya’s congested coughing echoing off the ceramic tiles before she even entered the shower area. She easily found the one shower stall with the curtain drawn and the water running, and leaned against the tiled wall next to it, listening to another round of rattling, deep-sounding coughs. Her heart twisted painfully, wanting so much to just wrap the blonde girl up in a big fluffy towel, throw her in the car and drag her straight home, whether she liked it or not. Of course, Maya was much stronger than she was, so that could never happen—but even if it could, Carina would never try to do anything to Maya by force. That went against everything their relationship was about; everything she was trying to undo from the years of abuse her amore’s awful father had inflicted on her. 

“Bambina? Are you in there?” She called quietly, not wanting to startle her wife by suddenly pulling the shower curtain back in the semi-public shared bathroom space, even if no one else was there.

“Carina?” Maya’s blonde head popped out from behind the shower curtain, dripping wet. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

“I thought to surprise your team with dinner. Minestra d’orzo, pasta carbonara and salad. I’m sure they will save you some.” She leaned in and kissed her dripping wet firefighter on the lips, having no fear of her germs since this had been her cold to begin with.

“Oh my God, thank you baby…you are the best. I’ll be out in a minute, okay?” Maya’s eyebrows quirked together and she let go of the shower curtain, and Carina heard a stuffy hhetxchiew!!! from behind it, followed by another string of rattling coughs.

“Salute, bambina,” the Italian woman cooed gently through the shower curtain, leaning her head against the wall with a sigh. 

“I’mb fine,” Maya croaked behind the shower curtain, sounding grumpy again. Carina had noticed that Maya often got cranky or hostile when people said bless you to her when she sneezed; probably because it was just another reminder that she was operating at less than 100%, succumbing to an actual human weakness, and that other people were noticing it too. She was usually a lot less guarded when it was just the two of them alone together; but maybe the fact that she was still physically at work was interfering with that. Carina didn’t take it personally, regardless. She just stood there patiently and waited for her wife to finish her shower.

When Maya did come out of the shower a few minutes later, wrapped in a towel with her shoulder-length blonde hair tousled and damp, she surprised Carina by walking straight into her arms and going limp with her head on the taller woman’s shoulder. She didn’t normally behave this way at work—but Carina certainly wasn’t complaining.

“Ciao, bambina,” the Italian woman cooed, wrapping her arms protectively around her wife’s damp body and hugging her close. 

“Hi…” Maya sighed softly, rubbing her nose into Carina’s long, dark hair. 

“You’re shivering, amore mia.” Carina pulled back a little, pressing one hand gently to Maya’s cheek, then her forehead. “I think you have a fever. You feel very warm.”

“It’s ndothing. *Snf.* I just got out of a hot shower.” 

“Lo so, if it is nothing you won’t mind if I take your temperature.” Carina cocked her head and gave Maya her best puppydog look, trying to make it a request and not a command. Maya had had enough people ordering her around in her life. But at the same time, she needed to slow down and take care of her body; and if she refused to do it, Carina was damn well going to step in if it came down to it.

Instead of answering, Maya jerked out of Carina’s gentle grip and turned her face into the crook of her elbow, a deep breath swelling in her chest as her tired blue eyes narrowed to slits. “Hh-hhehhixchew!!!”

“Salute,” Carina murmured gently, as Maya sniffled wetly and wiped her nose on her bare arm. 

“Ughh…sorry,” she groaned softly, crossing the bathroom to grab some paper towels from the dispenser and hastily blowing her runny nose. 

“Why are you sorry, tesoro? I am sorry for giving you this cold. You are so miserable, it hurts my heart. I just want to help you.”

“It’s not your fault, babe,” Maya shook her head, trying to muster a weak smile when she saw how sad Carina looked. “You work in a hospital. You’re bound to pick up a few germs now and then, it can’t be avoided. Anyway, it’s fine, I can handle myself…” She coughed again, wrapping her arm snugly across her face as she turned away in an attempt to keep her germs to herself, still shivering weakly. When she was finished, Carina wrapped an arm around her shoulders and steered her gently to the locker room so she could get out of that wet towel and into some warm, fresh clothes.

“Sì, you can. Of course you can. But Maya, please hear me—you do not always have to. Not every moment of every day. There is no gold medal for working when you are sick.”

“If I was really sick, I would stay home, okay?” Maya sighed in annoyance, pulling her navy blue SFD-19 sweatshirt over her head. Carina looked at her sadly, taking in the exhaustion, the pallor, the dark circles under her eyes, and the raw pink tinge around the bottom of her nose from a full week of sniffles and sneezes. 

“You are really sick, bambina. You just don’t know that because your papa treated you like a racehorse instead of a child and never took care of you properly.” It was a gamble, bringing up Maya’s dad, and Carina knew it; but after six months of therapy, it seemed like a gamble worth taking. She wanted to trust that Maya would be able to move past her reflex to lash out, and recognize that what was done to her wasn’t her fault; and that whatever feelings she had about it, she was safe to have them with Carina.

Sure enough, the moment Carina brought up Maya’s dad, the blonde woman’s eyes went cold and her entire body tensed. Carina waited for her to say something; but instead she turned around and kicked her locker several times as hard as she could, letting out a scream that immediately devolved into a fresh round of congested coughing. Taking in a wheezy breath, Maya stumbled dizzily, and Carina jumped up in a flash to steady her, so they half-fell back to the bench together.

“Please don’t be angry with me, bambina,” the dark-haired woman cooed, stroking a few locks of damp blonde hair back from her wife’s face as Maya stared at the floor, tears streaming down her unnaturally pale face.

“I’m not angry with you, Car. I’m just…angry! I hate feeling this way!” She covered her face with her hands, trying to hide her tears. 

“There is nothing wrong with your feelings, mia dolcezza. You lived through years of trauma and you had to keep it all bottled up…but now you are letting that poison out, and that is such a good thing. And, there is another good reason why you feel terrible. You have a terrible cold, bambina. You need rest and fluids or you will not feel better.” Carina gently played with Maya’s hair as she spoke, patiently waiting until the blonde woman felt safe enough to drop her hands from her face.

“I feel like such a weakling…” Maya whispered, reaching for a fresh pack of pocket Kleenex from her open locker and pulling one out to wipe her nose. “It’s been seven days, I should be better by now. But I feel like shit. You got better faster than this. It didn’t seem like you even felt that bad.”

“Sì, that is true. Why do you think that is, hmm?” Carina stroked a stray tear from Maya’s cheek. 

“Maybe you just have a stronger immune system than mbe,” Maya shrugged with a sniffle, taking another tissue and rubbing the pink underside of her nose as her eyebrows quirked helplessly. “Iiihschhiew!!! *S-snfl.*”

“Salute,” Carina cooed softly, leaning in and kissing Maya’s overly warm temple while she sniffled and blew her tender pink nose.

“Thandks,” Maya mumbled, staring at the floor again, so painfully embarrassed at the slightest display of human weakness. 

“We have been together for over two years, and this is the first time I have ever seen you get sick. I do not think there is anything wrong with your immune system, bambina. But the strongest person on earth must still rest when they are sick, okay? This is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Were you upset last week when I was the one who was behind the weather?”

“Under the weather,” Maya corrected her gently, a little half-smile creeping onto her face at her wife’s adorable approximations of English idioms. “And no, of course not…I love taking care of you, I’d do anything for you. It’s easy because it’s you.”

“OK, bene,” Carina nodded, running her fingers down from Maya’s hair to gently rub her back. “So can you try then to imagine that I feel exactly the same? Because I do. With all my heart.” She took Maya’s free hand—the one that wasn’t currently holding the crumpled tissue—and held it in both her own, pressing it over her heart so Maya could feel her heartbeat. They looked at each other in silence for a few moments, and Carina thought her heart might break from the vulnerability and anguish on Maya’s face. Still, she waited, holding space for Maya to feel her feelings, to talk if she wanted to, or sit quietly if she wanted to, knowing that Carina would sit here and love her either way.

“I really…*snf*…really love you, you know,” Maya murmured after a couple of quiet minutes passed, smiling weakly. 

“Ti amo anch'io, amore mia,” Carina hummed, warmth flooding her belly as she leaned in and kissed her stubborn girl lightly on the lips, feeling the slight slickness of her runny nose, and a sharp intake of breath between their lips a moment before Maya pulled away, cupping the crumpled tissue she still held back to her face with both hands.

“Ehh’IIISHHxhew!!! *Snfl*…” Maya doubled over with a shuddering sneeze into her cupped hands, eyes scrunched up tight, and broke into a fresh fit of rattling, congested coughs. Carina rubbed her back and cooed soothingly to her until it passed.

“Povera bambina,” Carina hummed softly, gently brushing away a tear that had run down Maya’s face while she was coughing. Maya looked up at her with watery blue eyes; and suddenly, she was in Carina’s arms, curling herself tightly into the taller woman’s frame and hiding her face against Carina’s throat. There was no question that she had a fever; Carina could feel the heat coming off her bambina’s face where it was pressed into her neck. 

“Carina? *Snf.*”

“Sì, bella?”

“I really don’t feel good.”

“I know, bella, I know…come, it is time for us to go home now. No more work for you. Only bed and tea and all the cuddles in the world.” She stood up and offered Maya her hand, smiling sweetly. Maya looked small and fragile and defeated; but she smiled weakly back as she took her wife’s hand and allowed herself to be steered out of the firehouse several hours before the end of her shift, with no intention of coming back tomorrow. 

 

 

 

 

[sneezemeister]

Omg I love this! I gotta say, for years, you have been my favorite writer on the forum and I always get excited when I see a new story from you! 😁

[wannablessedbe]

2 hours ago, sneezemeister said:

Omg I love this! I gotta say, for years, you have been my favorite writer on the forum and I always get excited when I see a new story from you! 😁

Wow thank you! That is an amazing compliment 😊😊😊

[Purplelily]

Um. Wow. This is AMAZING!!! The caretaking in this is already so good. As much as I love the sneezing and sickness, the plot is so heartfelt. I’m so glad Carina is there for Maya. I’m glad she’s getting therapy and she’s learning to be vulnerable. I can’t wait to read more!
 

Aaaaand now I have a new show to watch. 

[MIN]

😱😱😱 Ohhh no way! This was perfection! I enjoy station 19 but I didn't realise how much i needed this until I read it! Beautiful 👌

[jem]

WOW THIS IS GREAT!! I’m so happy to see a new post from you!

I also have been seeing a lot of buzz for this couple and this show so I may have to check it out… Thank you for sharing! This is amazing (as always). I’m excited to see this story continued :)) 

[wannablessedbe]

Hi peeps! I'm so happy people are excited for this fandom! I had another scene in mind for this chapter (i.e. the whole night in one chapter), but it was getting kind of long, so I decided to stop here and give you this part now. These girls cannot be rushed, they are taking their own sweet time. I'm really enjoying writing these characters, and I've def never written a character like Maya before--her reactions to trauma are very different from mine, and from what I'm familiar with, so this is very fun and fresh and outside the box for me. I'm glad it's as therapeutic for others as it is for me! ENJOY.

 

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Undoing the Damage

Part 2

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            “Go change into your pajamas, bambina, and I will warm up some soup for you. OK?” Carina kissed Maya’s too-warm temple, pushing her gently toward the bedroom as soon as they were through the front door of their apartment. 

            “’Kay,” Maya mumbled, uncharacteristically submissive, pulling off her jacket clumsily and missing the hook when she tried to hang it up, so it fell on the floor. She whined softly.

            “Va bene. I got it,” Carina hummed, swooping down and grabbing the jacket off the floor before Maya could trip over her own feet trying to pick it up. “Go change, get comfy.” Maya just nodded wordlessly, her closed-off expression hard to read as she shuffled off to the bedroom. She was probably still bouncing between embarrassed and self-conscious, but at least she didn’t seem openly hostile towards Carina’s attempts at caretaking anymore. Now that the rest of the world was shut out and it was just the two of them, hopefully it would get easier, bit by bit.

            The Italian doctor dropped her bag on a kitchen chair and took out the container of soup she’d brought back from the firehouse (she’d made it for Maya, after all, and she wasn’t about to leave it all for the crew without taking ANY home for her sick bambina). She took a small pot out of the cupboard and placed it on the stovetop, pouring the soup in, and lit the burner underneath, waiting for it to come to a good simmer. While the soup was heating, she took out some plain crackers to go with it, one of the only things she’d seen Maya eating all week, and also set the electric kettle to boil for tea, humming quietly to herself. 

            A soft, rumbling cough alerted her that Maya had come out of the bedroom, freshly changed into soft flannel pajama bottoms and a thermal top, wrapped up cocoon-like in a spare blanket from the closet, looking uncharacteristically meek as she came up behind Carina and leaned heavily against her. 

            “Hi…” Maya croaked softly, sniffling into her blanket. “Do you…*snfl*…n-need any help…? Iiihschxew!!!” The shivering blonde dropped one side of her blanket to cover her sneeze, wrapping an arm clumsily across her face as she snapped forward helplessly.

            “No, mia dolcezza, you are not supposed to help. You are supposed to rest. Come sit, I will bring this to you when it’s ready.” Carina wrapped an arm snugly around her sniffling girl and lead her over to the couch, sitting her down and fluffing the pillows behind her to make sure she was comfortable. “Here, why don’t you pick something to watch, and I will join you in a moment.” She kissed Maya’s warm forehead again, smoothing her hair back and smiling sweetly, filled with so much love for this incredibly strong woman who had never let anyone else in the world see her fragile parts. No one. Only Carina.

            “’Kay,” Maya croaked again softly, looking away from Carina’s warm gaze and taking a tissue absently from the box on the coffee table, wiping her nose with a stuffy sniffle. Carina nodded approvingly, stroking Maya’s golden-blonde hair one last time before going back over to the kitchen to put the soup, tea, and crackers on a tray, along with two large capsules of extra-strength Nyquil, a glass of coconut water and a bottle of Mucinex, plus the thermometer. She was a doctor, after all, and she wasn’t about to medicate a fever without first recording how high it was.

            “Here we are,” Carina cooed happily, setting her tray down on the coffee table as she snuggled up to her sniffling wife on the couch. She picked up the thermometer and showed it to Maya patiently. “I am going to take your temperature now, ok?” Maya just nodded, her eyes downcast. Carina was glad she was finally being cooperative; but this submissive, uncommunicative version of her wife was downright alarming. It was like she had given up, and was deeply ashamed about it. 

            With a sigh, Carina dropped a few more kisses across Maya’s face before running the digital thermometer across her forehead. It flashed 101.8. “That’s ndot too bad,” Maya piped up croakily, the first full sentence she’d uttered since they left the fire house.

            “Mmm, it’s also not too good,” Carina sighed, threading her fingers gently through Maya’s hair again. Maya closed her eyes and sighed, leaning into the gentle touch. “There is always worse suffering in the world. That doesn’t mean yours isn’t real too.” Maya snorted softly, and coughed, covering her mouth with a fresh tissue. Carina sat patiently beside her, rubbing her back until it passed. “What are you thinking, bambina? Can you tell me?”

            “I was thindking…*snghf*…about how I ran my Olympic qualifier with a temp of 102 and a sprained ankle. I wased’t supposed to…” she paused and blew her runny nose. “Ughh. But my dad told me to lie, and I did, without even blinking. No pain no gain, y’know…” she trailed off as her pink nostrils huffed and her tired eyes narrowed; and Carina pressed a fresh tissue into her hand. “Aah…aahhxchOOoo!!! *Snfl.*” Maya’s whole upper body shuddered as she doubled over weakly, Carina’s hand resting gently on her back.

            “Salute…mia povera bambina,” Carina murmured, cuddling up snugly to the sniffling blonde and kissing her temple again. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Maya…and for all the things your papa did that made you think you had to hurt yourself to be great. You are great, bambina. It’s who you are. And that doesn’t change just because you need some rest and medicine.” She held up the little plastic cup with the NyQuil gel caps, and Maya took them without a word, gulping down half the glass of coconut water afterwards. 

            “Now the syrup, ok? This will help your cough a lot,” Carina promised, taking back the little plastic cup and pouring out a dose of the expectorant. 

            “I thought that stuff was, like, an all-in-one,” Maya said suspiciously, referring to the NyQuil gel caps she’d already taken.

            “Sì, it is a general all-purpose cold medicine. But you also have a productive cough,” Carina rested her hand gently on Maya’s chest. “I can hear a lot of congestion in your chest when you cough, but you have not been spitting anything out. That is not good, bambina. This will loosen it all up so you can cough it out better. You will breathe much easier.”

            “Oh, fun. That sounds really sexy,” Maya grumbled; but she took the little medicine cup that Carina offered her and swallowed it without complaint. 

            “Now finish this,” Carina handed her back the half-empty glass of coconut water. “Expectorant must always be taken with a full glass of water or fluids. It is very important that we keep you hydrated with all this fever and congestion.” Again Maya took the glass Carina offered without complaint—she was actually very thirsty, so she had no reason to argue.

            “You are being so good,” Carina beamed when she took back the empty glass, setting it aside on the coffee table before snuggling up again to her sweet, sick, vulnerable girl, taking her face in both hands and stroking her cheeks gently. “I am so proud of you, Maya…you have overcome so much. Do you know that?” 

            “Doesn’t feel like that,” Maya whispered; and Carina could tell from the sound of her voice that she was holding back tears. “I don’t feel like I’m being good. I feel pathetic. *Snghf.*”

            “Why, bella? Why is this any different from last week, when I was sniffling and you brought me tea on the couch?”

            “I don’t know, okay? I don’t know! I’m just broken!” Maya burst into tears, and in a flash Carina’s arms were around her, cradling her and cooing to her while she cried herself out. 

            “It’s okay to cry, bambina…shh, you are safe now…ti voglio bene, sei al sicuro…” Maya was holding onto her so tight, Carina tightened her own grip in response, trying to show her wife in every possible way that she was right here and would give her whatever she needed. Anything. Everything. 

            It didn’t take long before Maya’s tears aggravated her cough and runny nose, and they had to separate so she could sit up straight and breathe, reaching for the tissues again. Carina kept her whole body pressed against Maya’s side, one hand on her back, trying to keep as much physical contact as possible as it seemed to provide more reassurance than words could offer.

            “Ughhh…I feel dizzy,” Maya mumbled behind her tissues, slumping bonelessly against Carina’s body when she was finally done crying and coughing. “Can I lie down now? *Snghf.*” Carina glanced at the untouched soup and crackers, biting her lip. 

            “Do you think you could eat just a little bit of soup first, tesoro? Then I will lie down with you and cuddle you all night.” Maya groaned.

            “Do I have to?”

            “Of course not, you do not have to do anything. But I think you will sleep better with a little bit of food in your belly. I think you have not eaten anything all day, no?”

            “I had a…*snfl*…a smoothie this mborning…hht’chxiiew!!!” Maya sneezed into the crumpled tissue cupped in her hands, and immediately started coughing again, Carina’s arm around her, half holding her up on the couch.

            “Salute…povera bambina, I know you are miserable and you just want to sleep. But this morning was a long time ago, it is almost midnight now. Please, will you just try some soup? It’s your favorite, I made it just for you.”

            “’Kay,” Maya sighed, straightening up woozily from her comfortable position against Carina’s shoulder. 

            “Grazie, bambina.” Carina sat up too, taking the tray from the coffee table and placing it across Maya’s lap once the blonde woman was sitting up straight. Instead of picking up the spoon, though, Maya wrapped one arm across her face as her breath huffed teasingly, and her tired blue eyes narrowed to slits.

            “Hht’chxshht!!! *S-snfl*…” She gripped the couch with her free hand, forcing her upper body to stay as upright as possible and not upset the tray.

            “Salute,” Carina hummed, handing her a tissue. “Don’t try to hold it in, you will only block your ears.”

            “I was just…*snfl*…trying nodt to get snot in mby soup,” Maya croaked softly, gently dabbing her tender pink nose in the fresh tissue. “But I wod’t do it again…*snghf*…hurts mby throat.” Carina nodded, but didn’t say anything, opting to express herself with physical comfort instead as she reached out and played with Maya’s hair while the blonde woman blew her nose roughly, trying to make sure she wasn’t about to sneeze again so she could eat her soup in peace and be done with it. 

            Finally, Maya picked up the spoon and took a few bites of soup; but she had eaten less than a quarter of the bowl when she gave up and proclaimed that she couldn’t eat any more or she’d puke. Carina wasn’t thrilled about that, but it was late and Maya had had a very rough day; and she had after all taken the meds and drank all the fluids, and that was by far the most important thing.

            “OK bambina. Let’s go to bed.” Maya leaned heavily on Carina all the way from the couch to the bedroom, flopping down bonelessly on the bed like a sack of potatoes. Carina let her lie there like a lump for a minute while she went to the guest bedroom and came back with some extra pillows, prodding her to sit up just for a moment so Carina could stack a couple behind her head and upper body to prop her up a bit and improve her congested breathing.

            “But…you’re nodt really next to mbe now,” Maya whined softly, looking up at Carina with teary, tired eyes. “I’ll be up here and you’ll be down there,” she gestured to Carina’s single pillow. “How can we cuddle like that? *Snghf.* You said you’d cuddle mbe. All night.”

            “OK…you’re right,” Carina sighed, sitting down on the bed and resting a hand on Maya’s stomach. Physical touch had always been their first and best love language, and it was very clear that Maya needed it desperately right now. And whatever Maya needed, Carina wanted to give her. “We will both sleep with extra pillows, then. Bene?” Maya nodded, giving Carina a watery smile as the Italian woman leaned over her and kissed her all over her face. Maya sighed, sounding content for the first time in days.

            “OK, I will get the guest pillows from the closet, and I want you to have something to drink on your bedside table in case you are thirsty during the night. What would you like, bella?”

            “Just water. Everything else tastes gross at room temperature, and it won’t stay cold all night.”

            “OK bambina. I will be right back.” Carina gave her girl one more forehead kiss, and then quickly went to get the last of their bedtime supplies so she could come back and snuggle all night long. As soon as she got into bed, Maya cuddled up to her, practically climbing half on top of her with her head resting on Carina’s chest, and one arm wrapped around her hips.

            “Is this okay?” the sleepy blonde mumbled, with a soft, rumbling cough.

            “Of course, bella.” Carina kissed the top of Maya’s head.

            “I’mb not making you too hot? *Snghf.*”

            “No. I am perfectly comfortable. And you?”

            “Very comfy,” Maya agreed, nuzzling her face into Carina’s soft sleep shirt with a yawn. “Will you…play with my hair again?” She asked in a small voice.

            “Sì, bambina…” Carina cooed, her hand going automatically into Maya’s blonde hair and threading absently through the soft strands. “Does that feel good?”

            “So good…” Maya mumbled, rubbing her raw pink nose against the back of her knuckles as a fresh tickle blossomed in the back of her head. “Ughh…noooo…” She couldn’t muster the will to pull herself out of the warmth and comfort of Carina’s arms; not now that her exhausted, overtaxed body was exactly where it wanted to be. In a sleepy daze, she just cupped a hand to her face as her wheezy lungs sucked in a deep, hitching breath. “HhetchxOOoo!!! …*Snnfl.*” She sneezed woozily against Carina’s chest, and wiped her nose unselfconsciously on her sleeve.

            “Salute, bambina. Here, you need some tissues.” Carina was just barely able to stretch out an arm from her pinned position under Maya’s dead weight, and reach the tissues on her bedside table, handing the whole box to the sniffling blonde camped out on top of her.

            “Thadks…*snghf*…sorry I sneezed on you…” Maya took a tissue and blew her nose loudly, while Carina continued to play with her hair.

            “Shh, there is nothing to be sorry for. Go ahead and sneeze on me. You are sick, bambina. You cannot help this.” Maya giggled softly, sounding half-delirious.

            “You wanna tell that to my dad? *Snghf.*”

            “Yes. I would love to tell him,” Carina growled, wrapping her arms more snugly around her shivering blonde bundle as a fresh bolt of white-hot rage at the thought of her wife’s abuser shot through her. “But not tonight, bella. Don’t waste your thoughts on him right now. Just think of good things that will help you rest…like beaches with warm sand…”

            “And you in a bikini,” Maya mumbled. “Tha’s th’ best part…” Carina chuckled softly as Maya’s voice gave out and tapered into soft, congested snores.

            “Buona notte, bambina,” Carina whispered, continuing to stroke Maya’s tousled blonde hair even though she was fast asleep and snoring softly. “I will be right here.”

            

            

 

[sneezemeister]

Great update! They are so sweet to each other

[MIN]

Oh wow! What a chapter! 👏😍

[Dc1]

This was adorable I think this is my favorite fic

[wannablessedbe]

Hi gang, here is another part! This part is actually a bit light on sneezes, comparatively speaking, but extra-heavy on the comfort and caretaking...I didn't mean for it to go that way, but Maya couldn't stay awake the whole time, so what can you do. She's pretty sick. I think you'll still find it worthwhile. Enjoy! 

 

…………………………………..

Undoing the Damage

Part 3

……………………………………

            It was still dark when Maya woke up thrashing with fevered nightmares, every worst scenario in a firefighter’s imagination swirling together as her subconscious tried to make sense of the searing, wheezing pain in her chest every time she tried to take a breath. Images of children trapped in burning buildings screamed in her mind, but she had no breath to cry out. She put on a fresh oxygen tank, but it was empty…she couldn’t breathe, where was her team? She looked around for them, her friends—more than that, her family—but they were all gone. She was alone in a burning building, and she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t yell for help…she had no air, no voice; and somewhere close by, children were screaming…

            “I have to save them!” she gasped, her voice coming out a broken croak as she sat bolt upright in bed, and immediately fell into Carina’s arms as a wave of dizziness crashed over her, making her head spin as the whole room seemed to swim around her, like their bed was adrift on a rocky ocean.

            “Shh, you are dreaming bella…it was just a bad dream, you are home, you are safe,” Carina cooed, leaning over her with an ice pack pressed to her blazing hot forehead. Maya whimpered, drenched in sweat and trembling with fever chills as some semblance of reality slowly filtered into her senses. But everything felt wrong. Her head felt floaty and disconnected from her senses…her whole body ached…she was somehow blazing hot and freezing cold at the same time, and she couldn’t seem get a full breath into her lungs. It didn’t feel like the times she’d experienced smoke inhalation; it was more like she was trying to breathe through a wet sponge. 

            “Is this…real life?” She asked slowly, rubbing her damp nose on the back of her knuckles as an intense tickle blossomed in the back of her head, forcing a wheezy breath deep into her lungs as her mouth fell half-open and her lower lip trembled. “Hh-iiixshhew!!! *S-snfl*…” Half-asleep and woozy with fever, Maya barely covered her sneeze with the back of her hand. She sniffled sharply, unable to stop another deep breath from seizing her ribcage like a vice as her itchy, runny nose sent angry sparks straight to the back of her head. “Hhehh…*snfl*…hhet’chxiiew!!!” She sniffled wetly, one arm held vaguely across her face as her nose ran freely.

            “Salute…mia povera bambina,” Carina murmured, leaning over her and very gently wiping her runny nose and upper lip in a fresh tissue, taking care not to be too rough with her tender, pink-rimmed nostrils. “This is real life, bella…you are just spiking a very high fever. Is there anything I can get you, hmm bambina?”

             Instead of answering, Maya broke into a deep, rattling coughing fit that scraped the inside of her chest like broken glass. Suddenly she had a mouthful of phlegm, and she clamped a hand over her mouth, looking up at Carina meaningfully; and Carina got the message, quickly pressing a tissue into her hand. Maya spat into the tissue and groaned softly.

            “Let me see,” Carina said gently, reaching for the tissue.

            “What? No!” Maya croaked hoarsely, jerking her hand back. She might be teetering on the edge of delirium, but she wasn’t too far gone to know she didn’t want her hot Italian wife looking at the crap she coughed up.

            “Maya, I am a doctor. Let me see,” Carina insisted, grabbing the tissue from Maya’s hand without waiting for any further permission. She twisted towards the bedside table and pulled the lamp toward her, quickly assessing the bright yellow color. With a sigh, she crumpled it up and dropped it on the table. Definitely bacterial. 

            “Carina…*snghf*…I’mb so thirsty…” Maya was slumped against Carina’s side in the middle of the bed, facing her, with her back to her own bedside table where her water was sitting.

            “OK bambina, your water is right there on the side table. Can I get it for you?” Maya nodded weakly, withdrawing her possessive arm from around her wife’s hips and allowing the Italian woman to briefly crawl out of bed. In a flash, Carina was back with the tall glass of water, helping Maya take the straw and holding the glass for her while she slowly sipped, drinking almost the entire glass in under a minute.

            “Good girl,” Carina cooed, putting the glass aside and kissing Maya’s blazing hot forehead. “Bambina, I know you will not want to hear this…but we need to go to the ER. You are not OK, this is not just a bad cold anymore. You need a chest x-ray and antibiotics.”

            “What? No,” Maya whined, her eyes instantly filling with tears as she looked up at Carina miserably. 

            “Hey, hey. Look at me,” Carina hummed, taking Maya’s flushed face in both hands. “I have you, bella. You are safe. If you told me to leave the building because of a gas leak, I would go, because I trust you. Now you must trust me, bambina.” Carina smiled so sweetly, and Maya felt so weak and sick and terrible, she couldn’t summon the strength to resist any more. Trusting Carina wasn’t the same as giving up. It just wasn’t. 

            “’Kay,” she sighed, closing her eyes and dropping her forehead against Carina’s chest.

            “Grazie…grazie,” Carina cooed, cuddling her clingy, feverish girl close for a quiet moment. “Come, let me bundle you up. I think it is good that we’ll go now in the middle of the night, when it won’t be busy. We will be in and out much more quickly. I promise, my friends will take the very best care of you.”

            “Yeah…*snghf*…okay,” Maya nodded weakly, blearily allowing her wife to sit her up on the edge of the bed and change her into a fresh t-shirt and hoodie, along with shoes and socks. She didn’t bother with real pants, figuring that her poor sick baby might as well stay comfy in her pajama pants for a late-night trip to the ER. Maya faded in and out of awareness, half asleep as she allowed herself to be gently steered out of the apartment and down to the car for the short trip to Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. 

 

            As Carina had predicted, it wasn’t crowded in the Grey-Sloan ER when they arrived close to 4am. Even though Carina was an obstetrician, they had all worked ER shifts during the height of COVID, so she knew all the ER nurses at least a little, which was a huge relief right now. They got Maya into a bed in the ER bay right away, offering her extra blankets when they saw how badly she was shivering. Curled up under the thin white hospital blankets, strong, brave Maya looked tiny and fragile, her face flushed and her eyes glassy with fever, the awful sound of her cough stabbing Carina’s heart like a jagged, rusty knife.

            “Carina…w-will you please keep your hands on me?” The woozy blonde mumbled, reaching out a shaky hand from under the blanket. “Everything’s spinning, my skin feels dizzy…need to feel you…” She twisted onto her side and coughed violently, one hand cupping a tissue to her mouth while the other wrapped around her aching ribs, feeling like her chest would break apart if she didn’t.

            “Shh, bella, I’m here,” Carina cooed, immediately lowering the safety bars on one side of the hospital bed and sitting beside her trembling baby, stroking her sweat-dampened blonde hair, which always seemed to calm her. Maya sighed softly, closing her eyes.

            “Don’t be scared, bambina…I will never let anything bad happen to you,” Carina murmured, leaning down and dropping kisses across her woozy girl’s hot forehead. Nurse Ortega, an older woman who Carina had worked with on several occasions during the height of COVID, patted her on the back in silent reassurance as she came over and slipped a pulse/ox monitor onto Maya’s finger. She also passed Carina a whole box of tissues, which she planted right in Maya’s lap.

            They were just recording her vitals off the monitor when an annoyingly bright-eyed resident approached with a tablet in hand. He barely looked old enough to be out of medical school.

            “Dr. DeLuca, hi! I’m Dr. Schmitt—” 

            “No.” Carina cut him off.

            “I’m sorry?” He quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

            “No. Not you. I don’t want any residents touching my wife,” the hot-blooded Italian woman shook her head. “Who is the attending covering the ER tonight?”

            “Dr. Altman. But—” 

            “Perfect. Page her please.”

            “Dr. DeLuca, I’ve been on Dr. Altman’s service for a long time. I can assure you I’m—”

            “Yes yes, I’m sure you are a good doctor. We are not going to argue, ok? Just page Dr. Altman please. She is my friend and you are not.” The young resident looked more worried about getting in trouble than offended; it certainly wasn’t protocol to page an attending at 4am for a non-emergent patient, let alone the head of a department. But then again, the spouse of a fellow Grey-Sloan doctor showing up in the ER wasn’t exactly protocol, either. Deciding that he was taking too long, Carina grabbed her purse and pulled out her phone.

            “Fine, I will call her myself.”

            “No, it’s okay! I’ll page her!” Levi Schmitt practically squealed, looking even more alarmed at the idea of Dr. Altman finding out that another attending had been forced to go around him to get to her while he was on her service. He was gone in an instant, and it might have even been funny if Carina wasn’t so focused on being worried about Maya; they had just recorded her temp at 103.2, though luckily her oxygen level was still quite normal at 97. Nurse Ortega finished recording Maya’s vitals on the tablet and gave Carina an instant cold-pack before leaving them alone, pulling the privacy curtains around the ER bay behind her. 

            Carina curled up beside her trembling, feverish girl in the ER bed, propping herself up on one elbow to hold the cold pack on Maya’s forehead. She cooed to her bambina and sang to her in Italian, all the same lullabies she used to sing to her baby brother when they were children. Maya was weak, but restless, curling her fingers into the fabric of Carina’s shirt as if to keep her anchored there. When Maya coughed, Carina held her and rubbed her back; when she sniffled and sneezed, Carina kissed her and blessed her and threw away her snotty tissues. 

            After what must have been no more than 20 minutes, but felt like hours, the curtain was pulled back again, and there was Teddy Altman, with a very sympathetic grin.

            “Hey, Carina. I got the message that you were down here with a very sick firefighter.”

            “Thank you for coming, Teddy.” Carina smiled hugely back in relief, sitting up on the bed but keeping one hand on Maya’s hip reassuringly. “I know I am probably being ridiculous, it does not require the head of Trauma to do a simple chest x-ray, but…”

            “No, hey—you’re not being ridiculous. You delivered my baby, Carina. We’re family, okay? Let me take care of yours.” Carina nodded in relief, suddenly blinking back tears she felt slightly foolish about. Teddy just squeezed her shoulder, and leaned down a little to talk to Maya.

            “Hey Maya, it’s Teddy…Dr. Altman. Do you know where you are?” Maya stirred and opened her eyes a crack, blinking up at Teddy woozily.

            “Grey-Sloan,” she rasped, her voice very soft and croaky. “Carina made me. *Snghf.*”

            “Mmm, I think she made a good decision,” Teddy nodded, smiling gently. “I’m going to ask Carina some questions since you don’t seem up for much talking, and then I’m going to examine you, okay?”

            “Uh-huh,” Maya nodded blearily, her breath welling up as she pulled a fresh tissue from the box in her lap, lightly rubbing the damp underside of her huffy nose. “Hhet’chxhiew!!! *Snghf.*” Maya curled up on her side when she sneezed, then immediately started coughing, burying her face in the tissues while Carina cuddled her and rubbed her back in soothing circles.

            “Good girl, you are all right,” Carina murmured soothingly, once the coughing fit had passed, and Maya had brought up several more mouthfuls of phlegm.

            “So we’re definitely getting a chest x-ray,” Teddy nodded, making a note on the tablet. “Can you tell me a little more about how she got sick? How long has she been like this? Does anyone else at the fire station have these symptoms? If so, we haven’t seen them here.”

            “She didn’t get it from work,” Carina sighed guiltily, one hand going automatically back to Maya’s hair, threading her fingers absently through the sleep-mussed strands. “She got it from me.”

            “From you?” Teddy raised an eyebrow skeptically. “When did you have this?”

            “No—I did not have this. I just had a cold, then she had a cold; but she works herself much too hard, and she just would not slow down, and it just kept getting worse and worse for a week. First it was just normal coughs and sniffles, but the more she pushed herself, the worse the cough became. She has barely eaten in days. But she took a very bad turn tonight, and now she is just so sick like a puppy.”

            “What?” Teddy laughed, raising an eyebrow at another one of Carina’s botched idioms. “Sick like a…wait, do you mean ‘sick as a dog’?”

            “Sì? Is that the expression?” Now Carina looked confused. “Why would you compare a sick person to a dog?”

            “Why would you compare them to a puppy?” Teddy countered.

            “Because puppies are cute. It is very upsetting to see a puppy suffer, no?” Carina raised an eyebrow expectantly, and Teddy laughed.

            “You know, I like your way better.”

            “I’mb not a puppy,” Maya mumbled, not bothering to open her eyes. 

            “Right now you are,” Carina cooed quietly in her ear, with a soft kiss to her temple. “Mia dolce cucciola…” 

            “Carina, can we just…*snghf*…s-save it for the bedroom, or…hhuhh…” Maya’s breath hitched unevenly, and she pulled more tissues clumsily from the box resting in her lap, cupping them to her face just as her woozy eyes snapped shut. “Iiiischxew!!! *S-snfl*…hh-hhet’chxiiew!!”

            “Bless you,” Teddy said sympathetically, while Carina nuzzled her hair and kissed the top of her head.

            “Ughh…I hate this,” Maya sighed woozily, taking another tissue and blowing her endlessly runny nose.

            “Okay, well, let’s take care of you so we can get you feeling better as fast as possible,” Teddy said gently. “Judging by that temp, we’re looking at a secondary infection at this point. Bronchitis seems like the obvious culprit with that cough, but we need to do a full workup. Maya, I’m going to do this all as quickly as possible, but we still need to be thorough, okay?” Maya blinked woozily, looking up at Teddy with a very un-Maya-like expression of pure vulnerability.

            “But you’re…*snghf*…you’re not gonna admit me…right?”

            “I’d say it’s extremely unlikely at this point. Your oxygen levels are good, so even if you do have pneumonia, we can send you home with meds—especially since you’re going home with a doctor.”

            “You think it’s pneumonia?” Carina asked anxiously.

            “No, but I do have to rule it out. That’s what the chest x-ray is for. In the meantime, I’m going to check her over and have a nurse draw some blood and start her on IV fluids. That should help her feel a little better with that fever. And once we get her started on the right antibiotics, she should start feeling a lot better in the next few days.”

            “Grazie, Teddy,” Carina sighed, a huge weight releasing from her chest that she hadn’t even realized was there. 

            “Of course, that’s what we’re here for.” Teddy squeezed her arm reassuringly; then bent down to gently rouse Maya, who seemed to be dozing again. “Hey, Maya? I need you to wake up a little so I can examine you now, okay?” 

            Sleepy, feverish Maya was extremely compliant, allowing Teddy to poke and prod her without argument, answering all her questions about what did and didn’t hurt with a simple yes or no, interrupting the exam only when she had to cough or sneeze. While Teddy was working, Nurse Ortega came back with the IV; and when Schmitt came back over with the portable x-ray machine, Carina got just a tiny moment of pleasure from his terrified expression, as he clearly wasn’t sure whether he had permission to approach them.

            “Schmitt, why are you standing there like a trained ape? Bring the x-ray!” Teddy gestured for him to join them, her expression annoyed and confused.

            “It’s my fault—I told him to go away before,” Carina explained sheepishly. “I didn’t want a resident working on Maya. I am sorry, Dr. Schmitt,” she said graciously as the young resident finally rolled the portable x-ray machine up to Maya’s bed. “I hope you will not take this personally. I would have said what I said to any resident who was here tonight.”

            “It’s fine. I get it,” Schmitt waved away her apology with a good-natured smile. “You just want the best for her. If it were my boyfriend on this gurney, I’d want the same thing. But, uh…is it ok if I touch her now, or should I just leave this here--?”

            “Just do the x-ray, Schmitt!” Teddy rolled her eyes. Carina couldn’t help chuckling a little. She was really, really glad to have a friend beside her right now. 

            Teddy put a rush on Maya’s lab work, and stayed with them while they waited for the results, since it was still the middle of the night and very quiet in the ER. Carina stayed cuddled up to Maya in the narrow hospital bed, making sure she had constant physical contact to reassure her that she wasn’t alone as she faded in and out of alertness.

            “Results are up,” Teddy announced, opening a notification on her tablet. “No pneumonia, and her bloodwork is normal.”

            “That is great news. Grazie, Teddy,” Carina beamed, rubbing her hand absentmindedly up and down Maya’s arm.

            “Mmm. But she definitely has bronchitis, and her tonsils are very enflamed. No wonder she hasn’t been wanting to eat much. I also saw an ear infection in her left ear—has she complained of ear pain at all?” Carina snorted.

            “She does not complain of anything, Teddy. She is much too stoic for her own good. If not for the fact that coughing and sneezing are literally involuntary, you would have no way to know she was sick,” Carina sighed, looking down at her wife’s fever-flushed face in a what-am-I-gonna-do-with-you kind of way.

            “Yikes. That’s rough,” Teddy gave her a sympathetic look. 

            “She had a difficult childhood…it was not safe for her to show weakness,” Carina explained, not wanting to say too much to betray Maya’s trust, but also wanting to defend her wife’s behavior, to make it understandable. 

            “You had a difficult childhood too,” Teddy pointed out gently.

            “Lo so. We are working on it together,” Carina nodded, lovingly grazing her fingers through Maya’s hair again. At the gentle touch, the blonde girl’s eyes cracked open.

            “Is it time to go home now?”

            “Just about,” Teddy nodded, taking a notepad and pen out of her lab coat pocket and scribbling something on it. “I’m giving you a script for some pretty heavy-duty antibiotics for that triple-play respiratory infection, plus ear drops, and cough syrup with codeine that you can use as needed. We can fill these right from the free sample closet, so you won’t have to make a trip to the pharmacy.”

            “Awesombe. *Snghf.*” Maya closed her eyes again, wiping her nose absently on a fresh tissue.

“Helm! Get over here!” Teddy called as she finished writing. Another resident looked up from where she was charting at the nurse’s station, and crossed obediently to their corner.

            “Yes, Dr. Altman?”

            “Will you go fill these scripts from the sample closet for Dr. DeLuca’s wife, please?”

            “Oh, for sure! I’d be happy to!” The young resident practically beamed as she took the paper Teddy handed her. “Um…is there anything else you need, Dr. DeLuca? Coffee?” 

            “No…” Carina raised an eyebrow, slightly confused. “We just want to go home.”

            “Right.”

            “So go now, Helm,” Teddy shooed her away, raising her eyebrows expectantly in a what-are-you-waiting-for expression.

            “Yes! Going! I’ll be right back!” Taryn Helm ran off—literally ran—leaving Teddy and Carina smirking at each other.

            “Are all your residents so skittish all the time, Teddy?”

            “Schmitt is easily flustered,” Teddy chuckled. “But I think Helm just has a crush on you.”

            “I thindk every resident probably has a crush on you,” Maya mumbled, opening her eyes again with a weak smile. She wasn’t sleeping, but her eyes were so heavy, and the hospital was so bright, she didn’t bother opening them unless she was trying to talk.

            “Actually, I think she has a crush on both of you,” Teddy smirked. “Have you heard the nicknames the residents have for the two of you?”

            “For us?” Carina asked, taken aback. “Maya does not even work here.”

            “True, but between being a first responder and also being your wife, she’s been around enough to make an impression. Do you want to hear it or not?”

            “I do,” Maya croaked sleepily, stubbornly keeping her eyes half-open with the tiniest smirk curling the corner of her mouth.

            “Dr. Orgasm and Firefighter Barbie.” 

            Carina gave a snort of laughter. She couldn’t exactly argue, since she’d spent a good deal of her career studying the neurological and pain-relieving properties of the female orgasm; but she had a feeling that medical research wasn’t the first thing people thought of when they heard it, especially when combined with ‘Firefighter Barbie.’ 

            “That’s hot,” Maya mumbled. “I really wish…*snfl*…I wased’t drowning in snot right now…so I could do something about it…*s-snfl*…hhiihtchxew!!!”

            “Salute,” Carina murmured, kissing her forehead.

            “Well now you have a goal, Lieutenant Bishop,” Teddy said wryly. “If you want to feel better enough to get back to your regularly scheduled sex life, you have got to rest up and stay in bed for the next couple of weeks, okay? You’ve got three different upper respiratory infections going on at once, your body is not just gonna heal by magic. Rest. Hot fluids. I mean it. I don’t want to see you back in here next week with pneumonia, okay?”

            “I promise,” Maya nodded weakly, a shamed expression on her face.

            “I’m not trying to make you feel bad, Maya,” Teddy patted her leg reassuringly. “We’re all workaholics around here, so we get it. We all have to learn when to say when. Otherwise we end up on the other side of the equation,” she gestured to Maya’s position in the hospital bed. “Just try to relax, watch lots of garbage TV, drinks tons of tea and broth, and listen to your wife. She’s pretty damn smart.”

            “Yes, Doctor Teddy,” Maya smirked woozily; then she yawned and closed her eyes, leaning her head against Carina’s arm. 

            Soon Dr. Helm was back with all of Maya’s prescriptions in a reusable Grey-Sloan tote bag, and Teddy gave Carina the discharge papers, making her promise to call her cell any time if they had any problems or if Maya’s symptoms got worse. It was past 5am and nearing sunrise when they finally made it back home. Maya was exhausted and wanted to go straight to sleep, but Carina insisted that she needed to take all her meds first, which also meant she had to eat a little bit of something, even if it was just a banana. 

           Far past the point of arguing, Maya just nodded sleepily, allowing her wife to undress her and help her into bed, where she burrowed deep into the warm, comfy blankets while Carina went off to the kitchen. When Carina came back, she wasn’t entirely surprised to find Maya crying quietly, curled up in a ball of blankets with tears sliding down her pale, exhausted face.

            “I’m here, bella. I’m right here,” the Italian woman cooed, climbing into bed with her miserable bambina and holding her close. “Can you tell me what’s wrong? Does anything hurt? I’ll do anything to make you feel better…”

            “I’mb n-not sure…*snghf*…I mean yes, everything hurts…but that’s nodt why I’mb crying…” she paused to wipe her eyes and nose, and Carina stayed silent, gently stroking her hair and holding space for her to be vulnerable. “Going to the ER when I felt so sick and out of it…that was a lot.” She glanced at Carina cautiously, as if waiting for her wife, the doctor, to tell her she was being silly and that it wasn’t a big deal, that thousands and thousands of people went to the ER every day. But Carina did no such thing.

            “Sì…I know it must have been very hard and scary for you to give up control like that.”

            “But, that’s the thing—it wasn’t,” Maya shook her head slowly. “I mean it sucked, it was too bright and too loud and too cold, and I’d much rather lie here in our bed than a hospital bed, but…I wasn’t scared. Because I was with you. I trusted you…and you never left my side.”

            “And I never will,” Carina vowed, picking up one of Maya’s hands and kissing it. 

            “I’ve n-never felt like this before,” Maya’s voice broke again as fresh tears spilled down her feverish face; but somehow, she was crying and smiling weakly at the same time.

            “Like what, bella?”

            “Vulnerable…and safe.”

            “Oh, bambina…” Carina beamed, feeling tears sting her own eyes as she leaned in and kissed her sweet brave girl, tasting her salty tears and her runny nose, and loving every moment of it.

 

 

             

 

 

 

            

 

            

Edited May 28, 2022 by wannablessedbe

[Purplelily]

Oh my god. This was just amazing. Everything about this was so sweet and loving. Ahh!! 

[sneezemeister]

This was great! The ending was so sweet, Maya letting herself be vulnerable

[Absolute1]

This is by far my favorite story at the moment! You never fail to impress!! 

[20andsickfic]

I’m so glad your back!!!! Amazing fic!!!!

[SneezingGenius]

Amazing! Absolutely amazing! I have nothing else to say!! 😄

[wannablessedbe]

I wrote another part! Super fluffy, so many soft feels. Sorry for the long gap between the last part and this part, I was always intending to write more but I just couldn't seem to make time! Hope it was worth the wait.

…………………………………

Undoing the Damage

Part 4

…………………………………..

 

            After their late-night ER adventure, they both slept through the whole morning, made easier by Maya’s new prescription cough syrup that both eased the painful respiratory irritation, and knocked her out cold. Carina woke up first, still feeling drained from all the intense emotions they’d cycled through the night before; but also very aware of how hungry and thirsty she was, having ignored her own body’s needs for many hours at this point. With a grumbly sigh, she stretched her long limbs, slowly sitting up to lean over Maya and inspect her sleeping face. She still looked pale and sick and feverish; but she was, at least, sleeping peacefully. It was a major improvement over the previous night, when she’d been constantly wracked with chills, and kept waking up either from her cough or thrashing with fevered nightmares. 

            Now, the sleeping blonde was dead to the world, perfectly still except for the soft rise and fall of her chest. She was curled up on her side with one arm stretched out to rest on Carina’s hip, cuddling her possessively like a giant teddy bear. As the Italian woman shifted her weight toward the edge of the bed, preparing to slide out and find herself something to eat, Maya whimpered, her fingers grasping at the empty sheets where her wife’s warm body had just been.

            “Here, bella,” Carina murmured, taking her pillow and slipping it under Maya’s arm as a substitute for her own body. “I’m not going far…just keep my pillow warm until I get back, hmm?” she leaned down and kissed Maya’s warm forehead.

            “Uhhmb…five more minutes…” Maya mumbled in her sleep, hugging her Carina-pillow snugly to her chest. 

            “Shh…sleep, bella,” Carina cooed, lightly threading her fingers through Maya’s tousled blonde hair until she was sure her wife was deeply asleep again. Then with a sigh she regretfully slipped out of bed and pulled on her favorite SFD sweatshirt of Maya’s, padding quietly down the hall to the kitchen. 

            First, she gulped down a large glass of cold water, realizing from how thirsty she was that she hadn’t been keeping herself properly hydrated, even while badgering Maya to do the same. OK. Today will be better, she promised herself, knowing it would be better and healthier to teach her bambina about self-care and self-love if she also modeled it at the same time. 

            After making herself an espresso and a sandwich, Carina started a Postmates order of all the things she’d need to make a large batch of homemade chicken soup, plus a selection of comfort foods she hoped Maya would eat, and a few electrolyte drinks. She also ordered a humidifier, which she had tried to do several days ago, but Maya had been so cranky and snappish about it that Carina had backed right off. It had led to a small fight followed by a meltdown, in which Maya had actually cursed at Carina, snapping I’m not a fucking child! Which almost made Carina cry, even though she tried really hard not to, because she knew this wasn’t really about her and she was trying to give Maya space to have her feelings. But seeing the tears in Carina’s eyes had made Maya cry, and she apologized about a hundred times before falling asleep at 8pm without eating dinner. Only to wake up coughing every couple of hours through the night.

            I should have just gotten it then and let her yell. Maybe she wouldn’t have ended up in the ER then, Carina thought darkly, her insides twisting briefly as a wave of guilt washed over her. But then she thought back to the conversation she’d had with Maya’s team at the fire station the night before; how they’d told her that her wife had literally never taken a sick day. Allowing herself to be physically vulnerable like this was clearly new territory; just getting her to admit that she genuinely didn’t feel well had seemed like a pretty big breakthrough. So even if she had gotten the humidifier when she’d wanted to, Maya probably would have refused to use it. 

            Just stay in the present. Make her feel better right now. This thought was still swirling in Carina’s head when the sound of Maya’s congested coughing caught her ear, and she hurried down the hall back to the bedroom, where she found the woozy blonde trying rather feebly to get out of bed.

            “Hey, hey, bambina…where do you think you’re going, hmm? Do you need something? Let me help you, ok?”

            “I hafta get up, Car,” Maya mumbled hoarsely, resting her spinning head on Carina’s shoulder as her wife’s warm arms wrapped around her. “It’s so late…gonna miss my race…”

            “No no no, bella…there is no race today. You are staying in bed all day and resting,” Carina cooed, trying to push Maya’s upper body gently back down onto the pillows. 

            “Rest is for losers…winners push through,” Maya mumbled, still sounding mostly asleep and probably high on codeine. “My dad…gonna be so mad…”

            “Your papa isn’t here, bambina. It’s just you and me. Please lay back and rest,” Carina hummed, stroking Maya’s hair back from her feverish forehead.

            “No, I…*snfl*…I cand’t…” Maya shook her head weakly, blinking glassy eyes that seemed totally unaware of her surroundings. “Carina…*snghf*…you don’t understand…my dad…I have to…” She tried to sit up again, but she was so weak and woozy she just ended up dropping straight into Carina’s arms, coughing weakly.

            “Calmati, bella…shh,” Carina half-soothed, half-begged, feeling an intense hatred for her wife’s abuser boiling up in her stomach like acid as she held the woozy, restless girl in her arms protectively. But, hating him wasn’t helping Maya right now, so Carina decided to switch tactics. 

            “You already won your race, bambina. It’s over. You won a gold medal. Don’t you remember? That’s why we are resting now. Winners get to rest, yes? Per favore, lie back down.”

            “Oh…okay,” Maya mumbled, confused but unresisting as Carina eased her back down against the pillows, kissing her too-hot forehead. Too hot, and not a drop of sweat.

            “Here, will you stay in bed and wait for me a moment while I get you a drink, bella? You are very dehydrated.”

            “Yes…water good. Water super-duper good,” Maya sniffled sleepily, rubbing her stuffy nose on the back of her wrist even though there was a box of tissues on the bedside table right next to her.

            “What about coconut water? It has electrolytes, and you need those very much right now.” Carina kept one hand on Maya all the time, grazing the back of her fingers lightly up and down the blonde firefighter’s inner arm while speaking gently to her, hoping she wouldn’t try to struggle out of bed again. 

            “Only if it’s cold…do we have one in the fridge?”

            “Sì, we do. And I’ll put another in to make sure we have plenty that is ready. Stay right here in this bed, bene?”

            “Bene,” Maya blinked sleepily, rubbing her stuffy nose on the back of her wrist again as her eyes fluttered and her wheezy breath hitched in her chest. “Hhih’txchew!! *Snnghf.*” She took a fresh tissue and pinched her runny nose with a sleepy sniffle.

            “Salute.” Carina couldn’t help the affectionate grin that spread across her face, leaning down and giving her sick, sleepy, drugged-out baby a soft kiss. “I will be right back,” the Italian woman promised, skipping off to the kitchen before Maya could change her mind and start fighting her again. 

           She poured a tall glass of coconut water and popped a straw in, then took two more containers of the stuff out of the cabinet and put them in the fridge so they’d be cold later. Maya always kept it on hand for her morning smoothies, and luckily Carina had just picked up a whole bunch on sale, so that was one thing she knew they wouldn’t run out of anytime soon. She also grabbed the thermometer and the cold meds from the coffee table where she’d left them the night before, and brought it all back to the bedroom, where Maya was apparently asleep again; but as soon as Carina sat down on the edge of the bed, a pair of drowsy blue eyes cracked open and blinked up at her.

            “Hello sleepy,” Carina cooed, putting her goodies down on the bedside table and reaching out to stroke a few locks of tousled blonde hair back from Maya’s flushed face. “Can I help you sit up a little so you can drink this?” Maya just nodded, too sleepy to talk, and held her arms out trustingly, allowing Carina to pull her into a slightly more upright position against the pillows. 

            “Very good, bella. It’s time for you to have more meds now, so I need to take your temperature first, okay? Then you can have your drink and take your meds.”

            “’Kay…” Maya sniffled, nodding vaguely as she raised one arm across her face. “Hhet’hxiiew!!! *Ssnghf.*” Her upper body snapped forward weakly against the pillows, her bare arm not containing the stuffy sneeze very well as a trickle of snot dripped down onto the blankets from the crook of her elbow. 

           “Salute…my poor little puppy.” Carina handed her a tissue from the bedside table and kissed her temple, then waited patiently for her to blow her nose before picking up the thermometer and running it across her forehead. 

            “102.4,” Carina pronounced, reading the flashing numbers off the screen. “Better than last night, but still very high. Here you are bella…” She put two fat orange gelcaps of daytime cold medicine in Maya’s hand; and Maya promptly dropped them on the blankets.

            “Fuck…sorry,” the woozy blonde girl mumbled, reaching clumsily for more tissues while Carina quickly searched the folds of the blanket and plucked out the medicine caps.

            “Shush, no more apologies.” 

            “Ohh…*snghf*…oh-k-kay…” Maya nodded vaguely, rubbing her nose with the tissues held snugly in both hands. “Iiihxkchew!! *S-snfl.*”

            “Salute,” Carina hummed, playing absently with Maya’s hair and waiting patiently while she blew her runny nose again, eyes scrunched up tight. “…Better?”

            “I thidk so,” Maya yawned, rubbing her twitchy nose roughly on the back of her wrist. 

            “Bene. Now open your mouth.” Carina held out the pills again, and Maya did so obediently, allowing her wife to drop the medication directly on her tongue. “Good. Here, drink.” Carina passed her the coconut water, holding onto the glass even after Maya’s hands were around it, just to make sure it didn’t spill. 

            “Very good, bella…you can have more of the cough syrup Teddy prescribed now, too, but you must eat first. I’m going to make you some soup later, but the groceries haven’t come yet. What can I make you right now, hmm bambina? Maybe some scrambled eggs? Or toast with jam?” Carina smiled encouragingly; but Maya’s face fell, and she groaned like the idea of food was pure torture. 

            “I know I have to eat, but…*snghf*…I just can’t thidk of anythidg that doesn’t sound totally gross right ndow,” Maya whined, a miserable pout on her pale, exhausted face. 

            “Shh, it’s all right bella…we just have to find the right comfort food for you,” Carina hummed, cuddling Maya protectively and stroking her hair. “Everyone has one, I promise. It’s not so unusual to have some loss of appetite when you are sick…there are lots of reasons why. I know you must have a very sore throat, even if you never complain, because your tonsils are very enflamed. And part of it could also just be from how congested you are. Some of your runny nose is going straight down your throat to your tummy, so that’s probably making you queasy too.” Carina pressed one hand gently over Maya’s stomach, rubbing light circles with her thumb. Maya wrinkled her nose and pouted, which was profoundly un-Maya-like, and Carina felt a tiny bit bad for how adorable she found it.

            “That…*snghf!*…is objectively disgusting,” Maya grumbled, taking a fresh tissue and rubbing her damp pink nose in slow circles while her eyes narrowed ominously, even as she fought to keep them open. “I j-just…wanna…sleep…hh-iiitchxhhiew!!! *Snfl.*” Her feverish body shuddered weakly under the blankets, exhausted just from the effort it took to make her sneeze.

            “I know, bambina, I know…you can go back to sleep soon, I promise,” Carina cooed, kissing Maya’s hot temple. “But you must have your medicine first or you will not sleep well—you’ll just wake up coughing. And you cannot take this medicine until you eat something. I’m sorry love, I know you don’t want to. But you have to eat.” Tears of abject, feverish misery welled up and spilled down Maya’s flushed face; and Carina didn’t know what else to do but climb back under the covers and cuddle her poor sick baby, wrapping both arms snugly around her while Maya shivered and cried like a little kid. 

          They stayed that way for what felt like a long time, but couldn’t have been more than ten minutes. Carina didn’t know what else to say, so she just opted for physical comfort, letting Maya stay cuddled up against her chest while she cried herself out, rubbing her back while she coughed and making sure she had all the tissues she needed. Finally, when Maya’s tears had tapered off to sniffles, Carina reached for a fresh tissue only to find that they’d come to the bottom of the box.

          “I need to get up for a moment, bella. I’m going to get you another box of tissues from the closet, bene?”

          “’Kay,” Maya croaked softly, her voice very raspy now. “I’mb sorry…*snghf!*…I’mb b-being such a baby.” She pulled back from the comfort of Carina’s warm arms, rubbing her teary eyes roughly. 

          “Basta. You don’t have to apologize, bambina…if I have to tell you this a thousand times before you believe it, I will keep telling you a thousand times. You are not being a baby. You are sick. You have a right to feel terrible, and get cuddled and loved and taken care of until you feel better. Do you hear me?”

          “Yeah,” Maya mumbled, looking down at her hands as she toyed absently with the remains of a wadded-up tissue. 

           “Hey…” Gentle fingers found their way under Maya’s chin, tilting her head up. When she finally looked up, warm brown eyes were waiting for her, and a smile that never failed to make her feel safe, and whole, and cherished. She couldn’t help smiling weakly back.

           “Okay…yes. I…*snghf!*…I hear you,” Maya nodded wearily. “It’s okay to be sick. Got it. I’ll try to internalize that, okay? But I can’t just…snap my fingers and magically erase all the toxic crap my dad pounded into my brain, just…*snghf!*…l-like that…*s-snfl*…iiihhxhiew!!!” Maya gave another irrepressibly congested sneeze into her elbow, dripping snot down her arm as she wiped her nose and coughed.

            “Merda! I forgot to get the tissues. Mi dispiace, bambina.” Carina jumped up and ran down the hall, returning quickly and handing the fresh box of tissues over to the sniffling blonde.

            “Thags…*snfl*…” Maya cupped a fresh tissue to her wet pink nose, her jerky breath still hooked to the tickly spark swirling around the back of her head. “HhhUHH—*snghf*…” She pressed the tissue harder into her runny nose as her ribcage seized up, and for a second her whole body felt frozen with an impossibly huge breath that threatened to break her chest apart. 

            “Hh’IIISHxchiew!!! *S-snfl*…hhuh…hhetxhchoo!!” Maya’s ribs ached and her head spun as she sneezed helplessly, too winded to blow her nose before she was caught in another bone-rattling coughing fit. 

            “Shh, just breathe…you’re all right, bella, all you have to do is breathe,” Carina cooed, her hand on Maya’s back, feeling her ribcage heave. 

            “Car…it hurts,” Maya whispered, her face streaked with fresh tears when she finally had the breath to speak again. 

            “I know, amore mia…please, I’m begging you, let me give you something to eat so you can take the good cough syrup. You’ll feel so much better, and then you can go right back to sleep. What about just a banana, like last time? Please, bella?” Carina stroked Maya’s hair lovingly, kissing her all over her feverish face.

            “’Kay,” Maya whispered croakily, closing her eyes in exhausted submission.

            “Molto bene,” Carina beamed. She had just gotten out of bed to go back to the kitchen when the doorbell rang. “Aha! The groceries are here. You stay right there,” she wagged her finger in Maya’s face, trying to sound intimidating; but the weak, goofy grin on her wife’s fever-flushed face told her she hadn’t come anywhere close to that goal. Still, getting a smile was an equally good outcome.

            “I’ll…*snghf*…be right here,” Maya yawned softly. “I prombise.”

            

[MIN]

Ohhh those last two chapters were soooo good!! 😫😫 theyre just too cute!

[Mems]

I love these two 😍 this update just made my whole day better ♥️

[Foogibob]

Sooooo good love it! Hope you update again!

[Sickficsinger]

This is so amazing. It's wonderful to see characters and people like Maya who are hard asses, be vulnerable. When they don't usually and then are 😍