"A Hideously Gaudy Star On Top" - Lucifer (TV Series), M, Cold, Christmas Fluff

[SleepingPhlox]

This is an early Christmas present for @SneezyHolmes as a thank you for getting me into this fandom and as a thank you for being you, and being awesome, and because you deserve lovely nice things.  In this case, I tried to make lovely nice things in the form of all the soft, shippy, sneezy stuff I could think of to cram in one fic.

I'm not a hundred percent sure where this fits in with the canon, or even if it's fully canon-compliant.  It's probably more canon...adjacent? BUT, hopefully it is headcanon compliant which is the most important thing.

Just a soft little Christmas fic with Lucifer X Chloe fluff, misunderstandings, and more fluff.  Plus sneezing.  It's in there.  Toward the end. I promise.

I don't know if this is a oneshot or not.  It was intended to be, but I did leave it open ended at the end just in case.  I feel like there's more stuff I wanted to use that didn't quite fit in here. 

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"A Hideously Gaudy Star On Top"

“Oh, this is just silly. No self respecting angel would dress like this. And the trumpet thing is just a bizarre stereotype. I don't even know where you humans got that from. Please tell me we're going to hide this one at the back.”

Chloe snatched the ornament out of Lucifer's hands, turning it over carefully to look at it in her palm. Yes, it wasn't the prettiest Christmas tree ornament she owned, the all white angel with hastily painted gold accents that looked as if they were supposed to follow the curve of the design but somehow failed to do so at any point, with its short and curly hair, shapeless dress with flared sleeves, and of course the long trumpet held in hot dog shaped fingers. But the crowning glory of the overall awfulness of the thing were the sandals that were also roller skates for some reason. But, it was still going to be displayed where it could be properly admired, held in place by a fraying golden ribbon.

“It's an heirloom,” she informed him with a huff, snatching it from him and putting it on a prominent eye-level branch. “It's not about what it looks like, it's about what it means to me.”

“An heirloom that you didn't break? Oh, well, then it is important.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “I'm really regretting telling you about that. You were supposed to, I don't know, empathise with me? Not tease me about it every chance you got. It wasn't supposed to be a funny story, it's something that I'm really sad about.”

Lucifer merely shot her a smile and shrugged, and held up the next bauble he'd grabbed from the bag to hold it up and have a good look at it. A simple red sphere with swirling designs in golden glitter – he wasn't sure if it met with his wholehearted approval, but it was better than the hideous roller skating angel. He found a place of honour for it midway down the tree and stepped back to admire his handiwork. The tree, with different strands of multicoloured lights flashing in different patterns, and ornaments strewn about it's branches haphazardly was, to put it mildly, chaotic. But, that was exactly what Chloe had said good Christmas decorations should be: colourful and chaotic. She didn't care for decorations that were too neat and tidy or, an even worse crime, had an overall theme. So, though the decor went against every instinct Lucifer had regarding good taste, it was definitely colourful and chaotic, and if she was happy, he was happy.

Was she happy, though? He studied her while she was in his peripheral sight to try and ascertain her current mood. She offered him a smile as she handed him a candy cane so he settled on yes, she was in fact happy. That was good. That was the plan, wasn't it? Chloe was feeling down and lonely because Dan had Trixie for the holidays this year, cue a very heroic Lucifer to the rescue, resulting in a cheered-up Chloe. So far, everything was going perfectly. She had explicitly told him she wasn't down and lonely at all, that she was looking forward to the rest and relaxation of a low key holiday, but he had noticed otherwise – which, major points to him for noticing that, by the way – and now everything seemed to be going rather splendidly.

He did draw the line at dressing as absurdly festively as she did but, with her candy cane striped pyjamas dotted with illustrations of holly, ponytail wrapped in tinsel, and her santa-faced slipper socks with large bells on them that actually jingled when she walked, she was festive enough for the both of them. With Lucifer perfectly groomed in his usual three-piece suit that had not a hint of anything Christmassy, they couldn't look more different, and both of them were equally convinced that it was the other party that looked totally ridiculous.

Chloe stepped back to admire the tree, clapping her hands together.

“I'd say we did a pretty good job,” she said, turning to look at him, the flashing multicoloured lights reflecting in her eyes, making them look as if they were positively sparkling with joy. “Looks pretty near perfect.”

“Yes, near perfect,” Lucifer agreed, with a little too much gleeful teasing in his voice. She could guess what was coming next, and she braced herself. “Such a pity we don't have a hideously gaudy star on top.”

Yep, there it was. She shook her head in annoyance.

“Yes, very funny, Lucifer. It's so hilarious that I broke my family's tree star. It's a hoot that I did it on purpose after my dad died because it was his job to put the star on and I didn't want anyone else to touch it. And it is a riot and a half that I have regretted it ever since.”

“Well, when you put it like that-”

“I just don't understand why you find it so funny. What part of me being sad about something that feels like a big deal to me is so amusing to you?”

Lucifer opened his mouth and took a breath to say something, raising his finger to emphasize the very important point he was about to make, but thought better of it, exhaled slowly, shut his mouth, and used the extended finger to rub against the underside of his nose. Averting his eyes to avoid her piercing gaze, he settled on the decision that the best course of action would be to change tack entirely.

“I...er...I'm going to go make us some hot chocolates. In the kitchen. Yes...so...you said you wanted us to watch our favourite Christmas movies and I have zero of those and I'm assuming you have at least one, so why don't you go ahead and get something ready for us to watch? I'll be right back.”

Chloe shook her head and sighed as she watched him disappear into the kitchen. Typical Lucifer. They would be on the verge of enjoying a pretty nice moment, and then he'd pull some crap like the whole teasing her about the star thing. She would chalk it up to him being typically clueless, and showing his affection like pulling pigtails on the playground, but she'd explained it to him. She'd explained it to him multiple times that she had told him that story to open up to him, and not to have it used against her as joke fodder, but he just kept doing it. She didn't know why, and she didn't care at this point. All she wanted was to just have a nice cozy night in.

In the kitchen, Lucifer hummed to himself and rubbed at his nose again as he waited for the water to boil for the hot chocolate. Two mugs, one sporting a smiling snowman and one a grinning Santa were placed carefully onto a tray, flanking a plate of gingerbread men he'd arranged in an artful circle around tree shaped sugar cookies arranged like a pinwheel in the center. When the mugs were filled with frothy, steaming hot chocolate, he added a dollop of whipped cream on top of each, carefully added some red and green sprinkles on top and poked a candy cane in each for that finishing touch.

As he brought his artfully arranged tray of comforting Christmas goodness into the living room, he increased the volume on his humming of a perfectly pitched “Jingle Bells” to announce his presence, setting the tray onto the coffee table with a flourish.

“Right,” he said, rubbing his hands together as he found his place on the sofa, right next to her and close but not too close – with plans, of course, to end up shoulder to shoulder with her before the first movie was finished. “What do you have in store for us to watch first?”

“Okay, first you have to promise not to laugh.”

“I promise.”

“No, I mean really promise.”

“Darling, if I promise, I really promise. You know that.”

“Okay...it's Rudolph. It's been my favourite movie since I was a kid. It never feels like Christmas until I've watched it at least once.”

“And why would I laugh at that?”

“I don't know. It just seemed like something you'd laugh at because you're just like that.”

“Well, now I'm hurt.”

Chloe would have apologised to him, but there was something in his tone, in the way he clasped his hand to his chest and exaggerated being utterly aghast at the situation, that told her that maybe he was joking. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him, and lifted the remote to start the movie. She leaned forward to help herself to the Santa mug from the tray, sipping some of the still piping hot drink with delight. Her tongue flicked out to catch some stray whipped cream that had clung to her upper lip. She closed her eyes and murmured her appreciation of the taste.

Lucifer reached forward and picked up two of the tree cookies from the plate, offering one to her and immediately nibbling at the top of the other one. Chloe bit into hers, carelessly allowing some crumbs to fall onto her pyjama top and immediately exclaimed a heartfelt “mmm!” of sheer pleasure.

“Lucifer, these are delicious. You really made them?”

“What can I say, I'm a Devil of many talents,” he purred, leaning back into the sofa. Then, suddenly and without warning, he shot back up and turned to her. As she looked at him quizzically, he grinned back at her.

“You know, there is one little thing missing that would make this perfect,” he drawled, his grin widening. Chloe sighed in exasperation.

“Yes, Lucifer. I get it. The tree star. The tree star is missing. You know, for a while I thought you were actually going to respect me and shut up about that, but I guess I was expecting too much.”

“No,” Lucifer said, his grin disappearing as his shoulders drooped, and his eyes shone with hurt. “I was going to suggest turning off the light so we could enjoy the ambience...from the...you know, the tree lights...and such.”

“Oh,” Now it was Chloe's turn to droop. “Oh my god, Lucifer, I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. I just had that whole thing in my head and...I'm sorry.”

Lucifer simply smiled at her, a smile that was very calm and kindly for someone who had just been unduly snapped at, which made her feel even worse. He was trying, he really was, and he'd put together such a lovely evening for the two of them. Maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt from now on. Lucifer patted her leg, and got up, crossing the room and turning the lights off without a word of complaint, or any other words at all, and simply sat back down next to her, cleared his throat, rubbed his nose, and then quietly went back to eating his cookie. She couldn't tell if he was upset at her snapping at him, or if he had let it simply wash over him.

But he'd been right. With the lights off, there was much more of a Christmas ambience, the multicoloured lights from the trees dancing on every surface of the living room, a bright pageant of oranges and reds, blues and greens, yellows and purples. The television seemed brighter and...

And, was Lucifer's face lit up by a phone screen? Yes. Yes, it was.

Okay, she couldn't exactly be mad at that. She couldn't force him to sit there and watch the movie if he found it boring, and she couldn't fault him for finding a children's movie made in – what, the 1960s? - entertaining.

But, still...

“Important text?” she said, trying to sound as breezy and unconcerned as she absolutely did not feel.

“Hmm? Oh, yes,” Lucifer replied, sounding as perfectly unconcerned as she'd failed to. “Busy time of the year. Lots of favours.”

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, makes sense.”

She was doing that thing when she was trying to pretend something didn't bother her when it totally did, nodding her head a little too enthusiastically, making her ponytail bounce and jiggle. She was blissfully unaware of her markedly obvious tell, but it shone like a beacon to everyone else, especially Lucifer. He quickly switched off his screen and returned his phone to his inner jacket pocket.

“Is it bothering you?” he queried.

“N-no. No, of course not. I was just..you know, curious...”

“It's okay. I've put it away now and you have my full, undivided attention.” He folded his hands together and put them in his lap, but no sooner had he said that, than his phone buzzed in his pocket. His eye twitched, as Chloe could tell he was struggling to ignore it. It buzzed again. And again. Lucifer bit his lip and sniffed, trying so hard to resist the urge to take his phone out and check his notifications.

“Just check it,” Chloe conceded.

The words had barely left her mouth before his screen was lit up again. His eyes widened, and he stood up. And then, he bent over, grabbed his mug of hot chocolate, downed it in one go, and set the mug back down.

“I have to go,” he said urgently.

“Wait, what? But we were-”

“I have to go,” he repeated. “Enjoy the movie, save me half of the cookies, I'll be back soon, I promise. But I need to leave right now.”

“Where are you going?”

Lucifer opened his mouth, but no noise came out. She could see that he was thinking of what to say, but it seemed that he hadn't decided on an excuse yet.

“Lucifer,” she pressed, more firmly this time. “Where are you going?”

“I can't really tell you that right now. But, I can tell you when I get back.”

“When are you going to get back?”

“I'm not sure. As soon as possible. That's all I can say right now. But I promise, when I come back, it will be worth it.”

“But-”

“I'm sorry, I really do need to leave now.” He leaned over to press a whipped cream kiss to her forehead and sniffed. “I'll see you later.”

And then he was gone.

One hour passed, and Chloe busied herself eating cookies. They were so good it was hard to save some for Lucifer, but he'd worked hard on those and he deserved to enjoy some.

She pulled out her phone and texted him: Hey. ETA on that whole coming back thing?

Two hours passed and she had dipped into his half of the cookies. And way too many candy canes. She had given up on Christmas movies, since that was something she'd wanted to do with him, and moved on to trying to find a TV show she might want to binge watch.

No reply on her earlier text. She sent another: Hey, everything okay out there?

Three hours had passed and Lucifer's share of the cookies had dwindled down to three trees and two gingerbread men, and Chloe had moved on to homemade nachos.

No reply on her two earlier texts. She sent another: I'd really like to know if you're safe. You weren't hit by a car or anything?

Three and a half hours had passed. No reply on her three earlier texts. She sent another: If you're not back here in the next 30 minutes, don't bother coming back at all. I'm going to bed.

That one, it seemed, got Lucifer's attention. Almost immediately, her phone dinged with a notification.

I'm sorry, love, but that's just not physically possible. But I still want to see you later.

Chloe turned off her phone, waited exactly thirty minutes to see if he would turn up, then went to bed.

She had no idea how much time had passed when she woke up with an intense need to guzzle as much water as possible as quickly as possible. Cookies and nachos were thirsty foods, it seemed. She padded her way to the kitchen, every step accompanied by the light jingling of her Santa slipper socks, when the sudden introduction of another noise made her freeze in her steps.

Her heart rate quickening, she froze in place, scanning the area around her for anything that could be used for self defense, taking slow, careful steps to avoid further jingle sock noises that could give her position away. The strange noise repeated itself.

That time it had sounded like a sneeze.

And it had sounded like Lucifer's voice.

With an exasperated huff, she looked around her, expecting him to have just let himself in after she'd given him her ultimatum, because that was exactly the sort of thing he was likely to do. But she didn't see him anywhere.

“Lucifer?” she called out hesitantly into the darkness. There was no reply ... but, as she strained to listen in the dead silence, she could hear the distinct sound of coughing coming from the other side of her front door. Still cautious, still attempting to move as silently as possible, she crept to the front door and looked out the peephole.

Lucifer was out there, all right, and judging from his body language it was definitely him that had been coughing. He wasn't simply standing at the door as if he'd just knocked and was waiting for her to open it, he was pacing back and forth anxiously, sometimes turning as if to leave, and then doubling back after a few steps and returning to the doorstep. He seemed upset, but not angry-upset. She might describe it as a very unsettled and sad sort of upset but that didn't seem to entirely do it justice. His eyes looked red from what she could tell through the fishbowl effect of the peephole, and he was holding a flat rectangular box wrapped in metallic green wrapping paper with a huge golden bow on top. He stopped his fretful pacing to unleash a loud sneeze into the open air, and then resumed the restless back-and-forth.

She couldn't take the suspense of wondering what the hell he was up to any longer, and opened the door. It seemed to startle him and he eyed her warily. Now that she saw him up close, she could see that his eyes were indeed red and a little puffy, and his nose was a little pink too, and conspicuously damp.

“You...you're awake,” he said quietly, his voice cracking slightly. “All the lights were off, and I thought...well...you said you were going to bed.”

“I woke up to get a drink of water and I heard you out here. What are you doing out here?”

“Well,” he said, and sniffled, then rubbed his fingers under his nose. “You said not to come back if it wasn't within thirty minutes and I rushed as fast as I could but it took forty minutes and I got here and your lights were off but I wanted to give this to you but I knew you'd be mad at me – and rightfully so, I might add – so I was walking around trying to figure out what to do and...” He heaved a shaky sigh, sniffled again, and thrust the box he was holding toward her. “I just needed to make sure you got this. It was important that you got it to-...to-...hahhhDTCHHyuuu!...today.”

She stepped backward as he sneezed into the open air, a little too directly toward her for her liking.

“Lucifer, how long were you walking around out here? It's absolutely freezing.”

“Couple hours, I think.” He sniffled again and used the back of his hand to wipe away the wetness gathering under his nose. “Open the box. I just want to be there when you open it, and then I'll get out of your sight.”

“Come inside first, and get warm,” she offered, stretching out a tentative hand to rub his arm. She was still so very mad at him, but he was shivering and huddled into himself for warmth and it was so cold his breath made little puffs in the air every time he exhaled. Gratefully, he stepped inside, but stopped in the entryway when he saw that she didn't seem to be inviting him in any further.

“Open the box,” he urged again. So, she carefully undid one of the neatly taped sides, ran her finger along where the paper met on the underside of the box, and peeled away the shiny wrapping, letting it drop to the floor for now, uncovering a simple white box with a lid. Her first thought was that it might contain gloves, because it looked like a box for gloves, and she couldn't imagine what might be so important about gloves, unless they were very expensive and he was trying to impress her. She lifted the top...

And gasped.

“Lucifer! How...how...” Her eyes were filling with tears despite her heart overflowing with joy. “I've been looking for one of these for years...on eBay and vintage stores and everywhere. How did you...how did you get this?”

She lifted the tree star out of the box and admired it in all it's kitschy glory. The silver tinsel, the multicoloured lights radiating from the center to each of the five points, each light encased by a spiky plastic something-or-other. She didn't even know how to describe the shape but it was comforting in its instant familiarity.

And now Lucifer's eyes were brimming with tears, witnessing the joy he had brought her. He might have screwed things up irreparably with her tonight, he might have upset her beyond his ability to fix it, but at least he had brought her this happiness. And that was all that mattered.

“I need to plug this in and see if it works,” she exclaimed, beaming up at him. “I mean, I won't get my hopes up, but I can get it fixed in time for next year and-”

“Hehhh...NYYUHHshhh!...Sorry. It does work.” He sniffled and ran a hand under his watering nostrils. “See, first I found a guy that had one but it was missing some of the plastic bits and the bulbs weren't working so I found another woman who could replace the plastic bits and then I had to find another guy who could fix the lights, and then the little cone bit where it sits on the tree, couldn't find a replacement one of those but I did find someone who could replicate it exactly and he made me one and, well, all together that makes one completely restored Christmas tree star, exactly like the one you...oh, bloody...hahhhDTCHHshhuhhh!...just like the one you had as a child.”

“But I only told you about that this morning!”

“Yes, I know. I had to work fast. I had to call in so many favours today, but I did get there in the end. A little too late, unfortunately, but well, that's how things go sometimes, so...” He let out an exasperated sigh. “Not again...hahhh...RRRSHHuuuh!”

“Are you getting sick?”

“It would seem so. I think my long walk around your neighbourhood might have tipped the scales in that direction.”

“Come in, sit on the couch, get warm. I'll make you something warm to drink.”

“I thought you were mad at me.”

“Oh, I am. I am very, very mad at you. Come in and get warm anyway.” She put a hand on his arm and led him into the house, into the living room where the tree still blinked it's colourful light show. She motioned for him to sit on the couch, while she went to the tree, to retrieve the one lone box that sat there, wrapped in paper with cheerful cartoon reindeer, sporting a tag with TO: LUCIFER neatly printed in her tidy, no-nonsense handwriting.

“I'm not too mad at you to give you this,” she said. “And I think it will come in handy right now.”

Lucifer looked down at the gift in his lap, then up at her.

“Just a moment. There's something missing.” He nodded toward the star in her hands. “Let's get that bad boy lit up, shall we?”

Chloe closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Although she had wanted this for so long, now that she actually had it, putting on the tree seemed daunting. It was silly, she knew, but all her memories and all the regret and wanting to fix it, it all seemed so overwhelming.

“Go ahead. It'll be okay,” Lucifer urged, as if he had read her mind. He couldn't read minds, could he? She made her way to the tree, tentative step by tentative step, until she was there, looking up at the bare top of the tree. One more deep breath, and she stretched up onto her tiptoes and put the star at pride of place. Once it was plugged in, it lit up perfectly. It was sparkly. It was gaudy.

It was perfect.

She turned around to face Lucifer, who was staring at her with a foolish smile on his face. But, since she was wearing the fact that she was still hurt by his earlier actions on her face, he dropped his gaze to his Christmas gift. Might as well open it. As his fingers worked the tape that held the paper together, he felt her sit down beside him on the sofa and lay her head gently on his shoulder.

“Why didn't you tell me where you were going?” she said quietly.

“Well, I wanted you to be surprised, didn't I?”

“You couldn't have just told me something, anything to put my mind at ease?”

“You're a detective. It's really hard to surprise you because you figure stuff out too easy, or you start digging for information and then put it all together. I wanted it to be a real surprise...oh this is getting ridiculous...hahhhEHHdtchhhuh!” He sighed and wiped at his nose yet again with his hand.

“I was sitting here all alone for hours, not knowing if you were okay, or why you left, Lucifer.  It was awful.” She reached up and touched a tender hand to his forehead. “You're a little warm. Wait. Is that why you kept teasing me about the tree star? Because you were getting me this gift?”

“Yes. I...well, I thought if it was fresh in your mind all day, you'd be even happier once you saw the new one. Look, I'm not claiming that my plan was entirely free from stupidity.”

“Oh, it was full of stupidity. It was incredibly, unbelievably stupid. You are an idiot...but you are my idiot.”

“I am an idiot...that is not going to be caught dead wearing Christmas pyjamas,” Lucifer exclaimed in abject horror as he finished unwrapping his gift and lifted up the crime against fashion contained within.

“Oh, you better. You owe me one for everything you put me through today. Plus, they're going to be warmer than your clothes. You haven't stopped shivering since you got here.”

“Okay, I'll change as soon as I get home and send you pictures as proof.”

“Nope.”

“Then, are you asking me to stay?”

“Yep. You're definitely catching a cold, and I'm not sending you back out into that cold air. You are going to stay right here where it's warm.”

“Well then, I know it's late but...oh, I am getting so tired of-...hahhDTCHHshhhuh!...maybe we can finish where I left off on Rudolph. I'd really like to see what happens with all those dreadful deer who couldn't appreciate a little individuality. I'm assuming a comeuppance is involved?” He used the heel of his hand to swipe at his nose.

“You're just going to have to wait and find out. Now, you change into your new pyjamas, I'll go get the blanket from the bed, and we'll have a little late night movie night, okay?”

“Sounds g-...oh, come on...hahhhNYYHHtchhuh! Sounds good to me.”

They curled up on the couch, watching movies until neither of them could stay awake any longer, and fell asleep until the light of morning, when Chloe found her hurt and anger had dissipated, but Lucifer's cold had only grown worse.

[Spoo]

Ohhh, I simply adore these two.   I haven’t read a good Deckerstar fic in ages, so this was an absolute delight.

[SneezyHolmes]

WAAAAAAHHHH!!!! THIS IS SO GOOD, PHLOX! WHAT A DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE TO WAKE UP TO!! 🥰🥰😄😄💖💖

Thank you for this! I loved it! 😍 Lucifer catching a cold just to get her a replacement star..so sweet! 

[A4o]

There can never be enough sneezy Lucifer fics !  I love everything about it

[uwus and love]

any chance we see the worsening cold? at all? like any chance?