Anyone else shy to sneeze in public are when around family members?

[bingochamp7]

15 minutes ago, Melody said:

i stand corrected 🤣 maybe some people are like this? though if you dont have the fetish or a concrete reasons I cant imagine why?? i have friends with pretty bad social anxiety for example, and none of them have issues with sneezing in public. but humans are weird. 🤷‍♀️

Yeah, she’s the only vanilla I know who strongly dislikes sneezing.

It’s interesting that your friends’ social anxiety doesn’t cause them to refrain from sneezing in public.

[SleepingPhlox]

I think a lot more fetishless people are probably shy to sneeze in public than we might think.  I can think of it in a couple of ways:

1. If they've been raised to believe it is impolite.  Like, a lot of people won't burp in front of others because it's generally thought of to be a rude action.  I know I definitely do not have a fetish for burping, it is straight up the worst thing ever, but I won't burp in front of people because I have always believed it is rude.  If someone thinks sneezing is rude because of noise or germs or whatever then they probably won't be keen to do it in front of people (And yes, yes, I know "normal body function" and stuff but there are a lot of body functions that we've deemed impolite.  Like, most people wouldn't cut a big fart in public because it's gross, the aforementioned burping, there's a lot of things we don't do in front of people!)

2. The attention.  Let me tell you, I knew a woman who would make a big freaking deal every time someone's stomach growled.  Just hooting and "Ooohh you must be hungry!" and it was SO annoying.  I hated it more than anything and would try to avoid it, and to this very day I hate when my stomach growls when I'm around people because I half expect them to react like her and I don't want the attention over something I can't control when I'm just trying to mind my own business.  If someone experienced a reaction to sneezing that they didn't like, it could very well lead to them just not wanting to do it around people.

So, for the people who might be worrying that not sneezing in front of others is like a big ol' flashing neon sign that says "I HAVE A FETISH", you can put your mind at ease!

[Melody]

33 minutes ago, SleepingPhlox said:

I think a lot more fetishless people are probably shy to sneeze in public than we might think.  I can think of it in a couple of ways:

1. If they've been raised to believe it is impolite.  Like, a lot of people won't burp in front of others because it's generally thought of to be a rude action.  I know I definitely do not have a fetish for burping, it is straight up the worst thing ever, but I won't burp in front of people because I have always believed it is rude.  If someone thinks sneezing is rude because of noise or germs or whatever then they probably won't be keen to do it in front of people (And yes, yes, I know "normal body function" and stuff but there are a lot of body functions that we've deemed impolite.  Like, most people wouldn't cut a big fart in public because it's gross, the aforementioned burping, there's a lot of things we don't do in front of people!)

2. The attention.  Let me tell you, I knew a woman who would make a big freaking deal every time someone's stomach growled.  Just hooting and "Ooohh you must be hungry!" and it was SO annoying.  I hated it more than anything and would try to avoid it, and to this very day I hate when my stomach growls when I'm around people because I half expect them to react like her and I don't want the attention over something I can't control when I'm just trying to mind my own business.  If someone experienced a reaction to sneezing that they didn't like, it could very well lead to them just not wanting to do it around people.

So, for the people who might be worrying that not sneezing in front of others is like a big ol' flashing neon sign that says "I HAVE A FETISH", you can put your mind at ease!

God this is hilarious 🤣 that woman is unhinged wtf!! also good points!

[BlessMeAchoo]

2 hours ago, SleepingPhlox said:

So, for the people who might be worrying that not sneezing in front of others is like a big ol' flashing neon sign that says "I HAVE A FETISH", you can put your mind at ease!

Just to be clear I don't think that's the case, it's just that sneezing in general is no big deal for a lot of people

[solitaire-au]

@SleepingPhlox mentions some really good points.

For many people, whether they have the fetish or not, their reluctance to sneeze around others is heavily tied up with vulnerability, and a reluctance to show that vulnerability.

Ever since I’ve read some of Dr Brene Brown’s work on vulnerability, shame and courage, it’s like a light bulb has gone off in my head. One of her quotes summarises much of her findings which is “Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage.”

I think what she means is often we let fear and shame hold us back and as a result we try so hard to avoid taking risks, especially when we feel a lack of control about the outcome. We can be afraid of letting people see our real, imperfect selves, especially if we fear their reaction to us when they do see us in our vulnerable moments.

I’ve been using the Internet for about 30 years, but apart from a brief time in the ‘00s when there wasn’t many of us on the old sneezefic site, I was too scared to have any involvement in this community for fear of discovery. (I have a very rare ethnic surname that if searched for in English is traceable only to me.)

Working on long term mental health issues led me to realise that much of the time, whatever I’m afraid of, is the thing I need to do for myself, to benefit myself. Avoiding it or running away from it doesn’t help and only hurts me in the long run.

I finally realised that I need to stop letting my fear hold me back, especially because I wanted to give someone feedback to let them know how much I appreciated the effort they put into a story I really liked, because hardly anyone was commenting and I wanted them to know how much I loved it!

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, so the combination of vulnerability and the largely uncontrollable bodily reflex that sneezing is means that a lot of people go out of their way to avoid doing it.

For me personally, I don’t avoid it, and I only tend to get embarrassed if I sneeze several times in a row from allergies.

[orcar615]

I've been asked to sneeze on camera multiple times and it's uncomfortable for me.

[peach2218]

I can’t even sneeze in front of my husband after 8 years of being together. Only if I’m in the next room, and even then I usually stifle. 

[vawnie]

In public, it depends. If it’s quiet around then I typically stifle, but I have a lot of allergies and that can get exhausting so sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. But I could never sneeze in front of my family members since it’s something that I see as inherently sexual

[vanessa_vee]

On 5/16/2023 at 10:04 AM, Sneeze lover said:

Whenever I’m in public or I’m around family members I’m always shy to sneeze so I usually try to sneeze  as quiet as I can or even  stop myself from sneezing anyone else got this issue 😅

I was just thinking exactly this same thing at work the other day. I’ve heard all my co workers sneeze but i dont like my own sneezing and stop myself from doing it too much in public or around family. It feels odd

[taway298]

i’ve trained myself to never sneeze around anyone except my girlfriend. even then i had to work on not automatically stopping myself. but before her i only ever sneezed by myself with the exception of a few instances where i was probably embarrassed lol

[JackHarknessTW]

Me!