Mrs.Primrose Posted October 30 Share Posted October 30 I've noticed that the bulk of stories and observations are about childless adults, especially in the early stages of dating. That makes sense, because that rings true for most romance stories. When characters-who-are-parents do show up, I feel SO HAPPY, because it feels more like my life. Thank you to all of you who wrote them in. (@gay-for-the-snz, I'm looking at you!) I'm posting today to ask if there are any other forum members who are parents, and if you'd like to chat. I am absolutely *not* asking to talk about minors sneezing. I'm asking to talk about being an adult with the interest/fetish towards other adults, and *also* being a parent, and how the two identities both do and do not intersect. For example, the caretaking element is strong with me, both as a sneezing afficionado and as a parent, but in *different ways*. (Read: I am never attracted to my children.) I realize we have to be very careful with this topic, because the forum is careful to protect minors, which I fully support. I'm happy to private message with some of you other parents--again following all the rules, but with a little more privacy so we don't accidentally post identifying information about our children on a completely public page. I'm also interested in stories and observations about well established couples, or people farther along in their relationship, who are still having a good time. Even childless couples! Just, you know, the stages after young love. It's important to me to be able to be my full self, wherever I am. Well, sometimes a full *anonymous* self, but still to honor my different identities. Anyone else? Do you have young children or older children or adult children? How do you keep the romance alive with your partner (who I hope, for your sake, is a sneezy partner) while raising a family? Link to comment
Sitruuna Posted October 30 Share Posted October 30 🙋 I have two kids! Neither is biologically mine but I am one of the legal guardians of both. They are both still very young, the older starting school next year. Ironically though both my partner and I are ace and I'm also aro and our relationship is... not very neurotypical so I guess there isn’t a lot of romance to keep alive? 😂 Idk what the focus of this topic really is, but I might suggest off topic as a better place for it? I notice the talk about care taking and how it's different in a kink context vs a family context, but I doubt we really want to focus on that so much that this would be a mostly "on topic" thread and having this be in off topic would also make it clearer we are not discussing being parents in a kink context. Link to comment
Mrs.Primrose Posted Friday at 06:57 PM Author Share Posted Friday at 06:57 PM @Sitruuna, I love that! Both of my coworkers who are parents also have children who are not biologically theirs. I have a family member who is ace and questioning whether she may be aro. So I guess, if there isn't traditional romance to keep alive, how do you keep your relationship with your partner strong and interesting? And does it incorporate sneezing? And sure, we could move into an off-topic thread. Link to comment
Sitruuna Posted Friday at 07:27 PM Share Posted Friday at 07:27 PM 15 minutes ago, Mrs.Primrose said: And does it incorporate sneezing? It used to, but I guess neither of us really has much interest in like... real life on topic things now? 😅 Of course I can't be certain if that would be different if we didn't have kids. To begin with, that side of our relationship was more focused on shared world building and character creation and discussing potential on topic scenarios featuring those characters and sometimes I would write stories based on what we had planned/discussed, but we haven't done a lot of that either in the more recent years, but I'd say that changed already before the kids. We've been together since April 2012 and we were quite young back then so I think that's the main difference 😅 We've had similar ideas of what it takes to make a relationship last from the start (you can't expect it to just work out, you know? it needs upkeep and all that) and we've definitely had the advantage of not expecting our relationship to be driven by, idk, intense passion from the start till the end or anything like that. And like I said, none of this is very... neurotypical, so to say, but I don't know if putting it like that makes any sense. Link to comment
Mrs.Primrose Posted Friday at 08:12 PM Author Share Posted Friday at 08:12 PM Ooh, my husband and I have also been together since 2012! I think November 2012. I was 18, he was 21. I guess 2012 was a good year! I just noticed that your message footer is from Star Trek! Are you a fan? I absolutely am. Link to comment
Sitruuna Posted Friday at 08:47 PM Share Posted Friday at 08:47 PM 15 minutes ago, Mrs.Primrose said: I just noticed that your message footer is from Star Trek! Are you a fan? I absolutely am. I definitely am! I haven't (yet) watched any of the newer series or adaptions (they are on my watch list but between work and family, I don't have a lot of time to watch anything), but I love TOS, TNG, DS9, Voyager... 😅 Link to comment
Mrs.Primrose Posted Friday at 11:46 PM Author Share Posted Friday at 11:46 PM Saaaame! Or almost same. I grew up with TOS (when it was being released on DVD, not originally), my college housemate made me into a Voyager fan, and I’ve also watched all of TNG and DS9, and all the older films. I’ve watched I think two seasons of Picard and one of Discovery, or maybe the other way around. But the new shows are truthfully too scary for me, or too overstimulating. I don’t like being shocked over and over. I miss the low-tech, relationship-driven style of older Trek. Link to comment
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