An Admirable Denial | M/M | 12/14

[GraySkies]

This is a sequel to The Reluctant Reunion about Felix and Connor. This can be read as a standalone, but the first fic will, of course, provide some helpful context. I'm uncertain how many more parts there will be, but this is definitely just the beginning. This part also has a little female sneezing. If you enjoy this, please let me know, because comments are so encouraging! 

_______________

Connor Hayes has made his fair share of dubious decisions in his thirty-four years. The first notable instance was when he was six years old and felt it reasonable to make pancakes for his parents at 5 o’clock in the morning. In addition to this already abhorrent mistake, six-year old Connor also thought it was a logical course of action to — after seeing flames arise from the stovetop —  run and hide in his bedroom to avoid getting in trouble. This particular mistake would mark the beginning of endless teasing whenever Connor came anywhere near a flame. He doesn’t know how many more years he can handle hearing better not put any candles on Connor’s birthday cake! Remember when he burnt his house down? There was also the time when he was sixteen years old and dated Bethany Spencer even though his actual crush was on Evan Lewis. This, unfortunately, would become a pattern for Connor until he was twenty-five years old and finally accepted dating women was perhaps best left to people who were actually attracted to them. 

Then, of course, there’s the time, a little over a year ago, when he effectively ran away to New York due to a severe case of commitment issues. This especially dubious decision resulted in Connor living in an apartment with a cat he was allergic to and a not-zero number of rat roommates. But worse than his appalling living situation, was the ache he felt each day in his chest that came from leaving behind the one part of his life that had actually made sense. He left behind the lovely life he’d made with Felix Brown in their quaint little town where he worked from home as an author and freelance editor. He’d, instead, replaced it with living in a city he despised with a cousin he barely tolerated and, of course, the cat he was allergic to. All while working as a full time editor at a publishing house he also grew to despise.

Connor spares a moment to consider the absurdity of the decisions he’d made in the last year. Then, he chooses to, instead, focus on not spilling the cups of coffee he’s carrying that he filled precariously to the brim. Once he makes it to the bedroom, he stands in the doorway and indulges in a moment of admiring what he sees before him. Felix is sprawled out diagonally on the bed, the sheets and comforter in tangles between his legs. Felix’s face is pressed into the pillow that Connor, until ten minutes ago, had been using as his own. Felix’s mouth is parted slightly and Connor can hear Felix letting out soft, rhythmic snores. Connor wouldn’t be at all surprised to find a large spot of drool on the pillow — it wouldn’t be the first time.

He carefully walks toward the bed, being sure to set one mug gently down on the end table next to Felix. Connor maneuvers himself into the bed the best he can with Felix spread out across it. He settles into the bed, resting his back against the headboard. Felix’s brown hair is a mess of waves splayed out across his forehead. His features are soft and relaxed in sleep, and Connor smiles and shakes his head as he spots the predictable puddle of drool on the pillow. Connor internally chastises himself for the umpteenth time for ever considering it a sensible idea to walk away from this man. 

Connor relaxes into the bed. He pulls out his phone to scroll mindlessly through news stories, while taking sips of his own coffee. They seem to get progressively more troubling the farther down he scrolls and leave him wondering why he continues bothering to check the news, at all. He’s relieved when Felix stirs next to him.

“Mmm, you were ‘sposed to bring me coffee,” Felix mutters into his pillow.

“Honey, I did bring you coffee. But when I got back in here, you were out again,” Connor explains, and laughs when he sees Felix scrunch his nose up at this information.

“I’m so tired,” Felix pouts, face still pressed firmly against the pillow.

“Well, it’s Saturday. There’s no reason we can’t lie around in bed all morning,” Connor says, keeping his voice low and soft, twirling some of Felix’s wavy strands of hair through his fingers.

Felix continues muttering — this time something entirely unintelligible.

“I’m going to need you to use actual words at some point here,” Connor says softly, still twirling Felix’s hair through his fingers.

Felix groans — he’s never been one to particularly enjoy mornings — and adjusts himself into an upright position, now propped up against the headboard alongside Connor. Felix, adjusting the tangled up sheets and comforter to better cover his bare torso, curls into Connor. He nuzzles his face into Connor’s shoulder. Connor doesn’t mind; he’s more than content to lie in bed with Felix even if the man in question seems to be using Connor more as a source of warmth than for actual company. Connor extends his arm, and wraps Felix up even closer, making sure he’s perfectly nestled for maximum amount of warmth.

Suddenly Felix’s head quickly bobs up and down. The sound he makes would hardly be perceptible if it weren’t for their close proximity.

“N’gt!”

Connor’s lip twitches. He waits a few seconds then — another bob of Felix’s head and— 

“N’gt!” 

Three more seconds and the inevitable — 

“N’gt!”

“Bless you, sweetie,” Connor says with a chuckle. “Every single morning, huh?”

Felix twitches his nose like he’s some kind of rodent and not, instead, a thirty-two year old man. Connor would be telling an outrageous lie if he said he didn’t find it immensely adorable. 

“Ugh, yeah,” Felix says with a sigh, rubbing his scrunched up nose with his palm. “It’s like my body isn’t ready to start the day until it gets a few sneezes out.”

“Well, now that you’ve gotten your sneezes out,” Connor begins. “How about you drink some of your coffee so you can really begin waking up? We don’t have to do anything for a few hours but we did agree to meet Annie and Lilah for lunch.”

Felix reaches over for his coffee and brings it up to his lips. Connor watches as Felix’s eyes close in pleasure. “Oh my god,” he moans. “It’s so good. And I didn’t even have to get out of bed to make it. You’re literally the best person in the world. ” Felix states, matter-of-factly. “How did I go an entire year without you bringing coffee to me in bed every morning? Seriously, babe, how did I survive?”

“I don’t know. You must be made of some pretty strong stuff to endure such a tragedy,” Connor says, feigning a plaintive tone. 

Felix looks up, his smile wide and eyes bright. “I am very strong. Mentally and physically,” he says flexing his arm, which causes Connor to dribble a little of the coffee he’d just sipped.

Felix’s body is made in a way that seems best suited for slipping through crowds unnoticed, or wriggling through a tight crawl space. Connor imagines Felix’s lithe frame would be especially conducive in pulling off a type of heist-related situation — if Felix actually had the gracefulness to go with it, which he certainly doesn’t. More often than not, though, it’s actual purpose is mostly reserved to sitting around on the couch, with the exception of when he’s teaching high school Biology. Even then, from what Connor’s gathered, Felix mostly sits in his chair during the work day. Conversely, Connor’s frequent days spent at the gym lends him a rather athletic build. In appearance, they’re quite opposite from each other. That’s especially true when considering Felix’s more relaxed sense of style, with Felix never seeming to have graduated from that phase college students go through  —  the one where they pick up whatever clean-ish shirt and pants happen to be lying around. Connor would never use the word sloppy to describe his boyfriend because he would never be so mean. If asked, Connor would say slightly disheveled, or perhaps laidback. Though, all the while, sloppy would be back there in the recesses of his mind scratching to get to the front.  While in New York, Connor saw many different types of men, including men in similar appearance to Connor — tall with a muscular build and, overall, well composed.  He never felt even a spark of interest toward a single one. 

Connor watches as Felix lazily picks up the TV remote and attempts to find a show to occupy their morning with. Connor imagines the eventual destination will be a toss up between either a reptile-centered documentary, or some awful, sensationalized true crime series. 

“And then she was stabbed eighteen times in the chest.”

The words spill out of the TV, and unfortunately, into Connor’s ears. Please, he thinks, let it change to something about crocodiles, or iguanas, or snakes, or anything that’s not about a brutal murder.

“Upon closer inspection, there were also bruises around her neck — clear evidence of a strangulation.” 

And with that, Felix sets the remote on the end table as he settles more into the bed, eyes fixated on the screen. 

Connor sighs and rubs his forehead. He continues sipping his coffee as he deliberately tunes out the overly dramatized murder re-enactment. He thinks back to Felix telling him that he was the “best person in the world” for bringing him coffee every morning. It was an obvious joke, a clear exaggeration, but Connor has noticed several small hints suggesting Felix may be too easily forgiving. It’s in the way Felix still sends him easy, light smiles. Shouldn’t this take more effort to earn back? Shouldn’t his expressions still be burdened with the heaviness that comes from losing trust in someone you thought would never hurt you? But, here they are, three days after agreeing to “take it slow,” drinking coffee and watching TV in bed together — after spending the night engaged in an activity that was, decidedly, not “taking it slow.”

Connor knows he should be sending his thanks to whatever deity responsible for allowing Connor to easily slip back into Felix’s life with seemingly no ramifications. But, instead, he just feels… guilty. At the time, leaving seemed like it was the best choice for both he and Felix. Connor knew if he’d asked Felix, Felix would have chosen to come with him. And Felix would have hated every part of New York City. So, Felix would be faced with either staying in a place he despised, or he’d be forced to leave Connor. So, Connor took away any choice he may have had by simply telling Felix he was leaving for New York without leaving any room for discussion. The conversation — though calling it such would be a stretch — lasted all of five minutes and resulted in Felix leaving the coffee shop before any food or drink could ever arrive. It was a year before he saw Felix again —  when Connor decided to finally leave his ridiculously demanding job that barely paid enough for him to afford the apartment he hated. Though, he likes to think, even if he had loved the apartment and the job, he still would have come back for Felix.

It’s obvious to Connor now, after some time to reflect, that he’d been unknowingly participating in a tale — one he’s not fond of — as old as time. Simply put, Connor ran away. He ran away because he was afraid of getting hurt. It was as pathetic as it sounds.

“Babe,” Felix’s voice, still slightly hoarse from sleep, “how mad do you think Annie would be if we… just stayed here today? If we didn’t have lunch?”

Connor huffs out a laugh. “I know we barely know her, but based on the single interaction I had with her… Well, she gives me the impression that she’s not really, uh… meek. I have a feeling she’d tell you exactly how she felt if you called her up a few hours before we’re supposed to meet, to cancel.”

Felix looks thoughtful. “But… what if I’m sick?” he asks.

“You’re not sick,” Connor says, rolling his eyes. Connor is very aware of this fact because Felix had been sick the week prior with a flu that’s just now fully released its grip on him. He’s been more conscious than ever of Felix’s health and if there were any signs of illness, he’s sure he’d notice. 

“Oh no,” Felix begins with a painfully fake cough. “Achoo achoo achoo. Oh, Connor, it appears the flu has come back for me. I must stay in bed and rest. Oh, yes, I’m afraid I mustn’t venture out on this cold winter’s day for I shall catch my death,” he says, hand held to his forehead, as though he’s a Victorian lady one step away from collapsing onto her fainting couch. 

“Felix,” Connor says, sighing, but he can’t stop the slight twitch of his lips that betrays his amusement. “Why do you want to avoid going, anyway? Annie’s your friend.”

Felix scrunches up his nose and drops his shoulders. “Because, doesn’t it sound better to just … not go out?” he asks, wistfully.

“Has anyone ever told you before, sweetheart, that you’re a little bit  lazy?” Connor says with a slight pre-emptive wince for the reaction that likely is coming.

But instead of launching into a defense, Felix frowns, and slumps back into bed. “It’s been said, yes,” he says, with a long sigh.

Connor laughs, absentmindedly pushing up his glasses. “Well, getting out sometimes is good for you. We won’t even be out that long. It’ll be a totally harmless adventure,” Connor promises.
_____

Coming out was a mistake. This is all Connor can manage to think as he watches Annie swipe at her glistening nostrils for what must be the thirtieth time in the thirty minutes they’ve been out.
Connor wouldn’t consider himself a germaphobe — if he were, he would have instantly perished the first (of many) times Felix sneezed and coughed on him during his bout of the flu. He’s not exactly uneasy about what the germs can do; he never seems to catch anything, regardless of the extent of the exposure. There’s something, though, intrinsically off-putting to him about being in the vicinity of someone who’s likely to start spewing germ-laden droplets from their face at any given moment. With Felix, it had, of course, been different. Because…well, because he was Felix. 

In general, Connor prefers to occupy tidy, clean spaces. This is another area where he must make an exception for Felix. While there’s certainly been times when he’s felt frustration bubble — when he’s seen Felix’s overly full laundry basket, a random sock in the kitchen, or a pile of dishes in  the sink —  the frustration never fully boiled over because… he’s Felix. Connor’s rules clearly don’t apply to him. Even when Felix had been wiped out by the flu last week and reduced to a runny-nosed, sneezing and coughing heap in bed, Connor didn’t hesitate to pick up the used tissues littered all over the bedroom. He, of course, used a paper towel as a barrier, and thoroughly washed his hands afterwards, but that’s not something he would've done for a single other person he’s ever known.

Connor redirects his attention from his thoughts back to Annie who’s speaking about… something. He’s only had one prior interaction with her before now, but she’s clearly on the eccentric side and sometimes trying to understand the point she’s making— if there even is one — feels akin to trying to catch a butterfly in his hand. It went unspoken, but it was clear to everyone the reason meeting for lunch was mostly for Lilah — Annie’s girlfriend and a huge fan of Connor’s work — to have the chance to meet Connor. However, he’s hardly had the chance to exchange any words with Lilah due to Annie and Felix dominating all conversations.

“So, thaa-heh-t’chiieeeew!” Annie’s nose interrupts whatever she was trying to say. Connor is disappointed to see that Annie appears to think holding her hand a foot away from her face is an adequate way to catch a sneeze. He can literally see the fine mist she expels. It’s there for just a moment before it dissipates, but still, he knows an innumerable number of germs have been sent out into the air.

“Excuse me,” Annie says, blinking.

Annie's girlfriend, Lilah, shifts her long black braid off her shoulder as she inspects her girlfriend’s face. “You’re catching a cold,” she says with a slight frown.

Annie sniffles and wriggles her nose. “No, I’m not ‘catching a cold.’ My nose is just itchy and runny.” As if needing to prove this, she uses her hand to roughly scrub at her nose. 

“Oh my god, Annie, don’t infect me. I literally just got over being sick,” Felix pleas, miserably.

“I did, too!” Annie says, but more in a sense of disbelief at herself than any actual anger. “I was sick as a freaking dog just a few weeks ago. There’s no way I caught something again. I mean, it’s winter. Noses get runny in winter,” she says, though her expression lacks conviction. 

“Sweetheart,” Lilah begins, her voice laced with unmistakable fondness. “We’ve been in a heated indoor space for over half an hour. And, well, you know how you are with colds and things…” Lilah trails off.

“I-I do seem to get them a lot, don’t I?” Annie asks, sounding disheartened at this apparent revelation.

Lilah’s expression softens into a gentle smile. “Yes, baby, you do. It’s because you spend so much time basically bathing in germs at work.”

“But… when I first started teaching, I was fine, wasn’t I?” Annie asks Lilah.

“I wouldn’t say fine. But, no, it wasn’t this bad. Those were fourth-graders, though. This past year, you’ve been with Kindergarteners, and, well… I imagine they’re a little more free with spreading their germs,” Lilah says, sympathetically.

“I guess…” mutters Annie. “But I r-r-heh-really think heehh-t’ssshIEEEW!”

Again, Annie’s hand extends far out from her face as a fine mist sprays the air. That sneeze seemed especially…wet, Connor is disappointed to realize. 

“Bless you, Annie,” Connor starts, keeping his tone polite. “You know, if you aren't feeling well, we can just do this another time. I understand, and I'm sure Felix does, too, if you need to go home and rest,” Connor says, offering his most sympathetic smile. 

But Annie shakes her head. “Oh, gosh, no. I mean, we don't have to leave because I might be getting the sniffles. Like I said, I feel fine,” Annie repeats, but her hand is already back at her nose ready for another swipe. “I'm not going on bed rest because of a runny nose.”

Connor strongly wishes she would because it's not “just” a runny nose. Once sneezes enter the equation, he prefers to maintain as far as possible a distance who has, despite what Annie says, an obvious cold beginning to bloom.

Lilah begins doting all over Annie, reaching up to feel her forehead for a fever while Annie continues to huff that she’s “pretty much fine.” At this point, Connor notices Felix is being uncharacteristically quiet. When he looks, he can see Felix typing urgently on his phone. Connor can’t help but notice the name “Ben” displayed at the top of the screen.

“Everything okay?” Connor asks, lightly nudging Felix to get his attention.

Felix’s brows are deeply furrowed. “Um, I don’t know. It’s Ben. I think he’s, like, really sick.” 

Connor thinks about Felix’s best friend, Ben. He and Felix had, reluctantly, helped Ben move into his new apartment last week. Felix had been in the thick of his illness, so it doesn’t surprise Connor that Ben caught what Felix had. But, from what Connor can recall, this is Ben’s fifth day being sick. Felix had already starting getting better by that point.

“What do you mean? What’s wrong?” Connor asks.

Instead of responding, Felix hands his phone over so Connor can read the text conversation between him and Ben.

Felix: Dude, look. Leslie’s Kitchen brought back their pretzels.

Connor looks at the image attached of the pretzel Felix is currently eating.

Ben: Looks good

Felix: It IS. They even cost less than they used to. And they come with cheddar cheese cups now.

Connor looks at the image Felix attached of the cheddar cheese cup and wonders if a picture is actually necessary, but then he decides to move on to the next text instead of questioning Felix.

Ben: Yum

Felix: I’m going to be honest here, Ben, I definitely thought you’d be more excited. I mean, you’ve spent the last two years whining about how they were taken off the menu. 

Ben: Sorry. Kinda tired i guess

Felix: Still sick?

Ben: 👍

Felix: Please tell me you’re home and not still trying to work through this thing.

Ben: Went to the cafe but Melanie sent me home

Felix: Good. Do you need anything?

Ben: No but thnks

Connor finishes reading the texts and passes the phone back to Felix. Felix is looking at him as though Connor should also be sharing his sense of urgency.

“Uh, I mean, I’m not sure why you think he’s ‘really sick’? There’s not  exactly much to go on here,” Connor says, but it’s clear he’s saying the wrong words as Felix’s eyes widen.

“Not much to go on? Connor! Have you ever texted Ben before?”

Connor sighs. He has several times and hasn’t ever found the experience especially appealing. “Yes, I have,” Connor says, instead.

“And how many times, Connor, has Ben ever sent you a text that’s been less than ten words?” Felix asks, pointedly.

Connor takes a moment to seriously consider this. “I mean, I guess, they usually are pretty wordy,” Connor agrees.

“Yes, exactly. This is Ben. He should be complaining about how he’s currently on his deathbed and texting me a superfluous list of his symptoms and other exaggerated nonsense. He should be begging me to bring him medicine and tissues, or whatever. We need to check on him,” Felix says, mind clearly made up.

“Okay,” Connor begins, carefully. “I’m not saying we shouldn’t, but it seems like he is pretty tired. Maybe he’d rather get some sleep than to have us just barge in,” but Connor knows before he’s even finished speaking how Felix feels about the suggestion. 

“Connor, I know Ben. Something’s off with him,” Felix says, and Connor hates the concern he sees in Felix’s eyes, not liking to ever see Felix worried.

Connor wants to tell Felix that what’s “off” about Ben is the fact that he has the flu and that, all things considered, it’s entirely normal that Ben isn’t giving his typical energetic text responses. But Connor knows how important Ben is to Felix. They’ve had an unbreakable bond between them since they were four years old. Felix may act exasperated at Ben’s often ridiculous antics and overall tendency to be dramatic, but Connor knows Felix considers Ben to be family. 

Connor winces as he hears Annie send three more high-pitched sneezes into the air. 

“Hiiih-T’sHIEW! Hih’t’shiewww! HIH-T’SHIEEEEWW!”

“Okay, that’s it,” Lilah says, definitively. “Sorry to cut this short, but it looks like Annie and I are going to have to head out,” she says, addressing Felix and Connor.

“We don’t have to leave hiih! Hih-eh’tchIEWW!” Annie says, once again, sharing her germs generously with the restaurant. She rubs her slightly pinkened nose.

“You’re spending the day in bed,” Lilah says, already holding out Annie’s coat to her. Annie’s nose is scrunching up and her nostrils are twitching as though in preparation for a sneeze that’s not yet ready to come.  

Annie smiles and sends Lilah a suggestive look. “Oooh, spending the day in bed with you? I can think of plenty of things we can do in said bed. Hiih-eT-chieeeWW!” She snaps forward with a particularly harsh, high-pitched, spraying sneeze.

Lilah rolls her eyes but looks at Annie, adoringly. “Go ahead and erase any items from that filthy list of yours that doesn’t involve sleeping, watching movies, or drinking tea.”

Annie pouts. “That doesn’t sound like any fun at all,” she says, once again, rubbing her nose.

After paying for their meal, the group departs with plans to meet up again after Annie’s feeling better. Felix hurriedly walks to the passenger side of the car, as though Ben’s going to perish if they don’t get to his house as soon as possible.

_____

Connor grimaces when he sees the state Ben is in once he opens the door. Ben is pale except for two bright spots of pink on both of his cheeks and a reddened nose. His shoulder length, dark hair hangs in limp waves, as though it hasn’t been washed in days. He is in an oversized gray hoodie and plaid pajama pants, wearing mismatched socks. He has a blanket draped over him like a cape and the first thing he does when pulling open the door to reveal Felix and Connor is cough wretchedly. Connor doesn’t know how he keeps finding himself around so many sick people.

“Hey,” Ben croaks, his voice so raspy and rough, it’s slightly alarming. “Why’s Connor here?” Ben directs the question to Felix.

“Uh, well…” Felix says, rubbing the back of his neck. “We’re kind of back together,” he says quickly before forcing himself into Ben’s living room.

“You’re what?” Ben rasps out. Connor imagines Ben intends the question to carry an annoyance with it, or some frustration, or possibly even anger. But, instead, it comes across as just pitiful, as he starts to cough and moves toward the couch. He lies down, pulling his blanket over himself up to his chin as he continues coughing, seeming as though he’s never going to stop.

Felix grabs a nearby water bottle and shoves it into Ben’s hands. Ben shakily takes the water bottle, still lying down, as he takes small sips of it, his coughs finally calming down.

Felix places his hand on Ben’s forehead, checking him for a fever. It’s clear to Connor without even feeling Ben’s skin that the guy is completely burning up.

“Oh my god, Ben. How long have you been sick? Like, five days now?” Felix asks, his unease evident in his voice.

Ben clears his throat, carefully, as though afraid to trigger another coughing fit. “Yeah, I think so. That sounds right, anyway.” 

Connor and Felix had stopped at a store on the way to pick up a few supplies for Ben, so Connor now busies himself with setting everything out on the coffee table. He holds up some generic cold medicine. “Hey, man, have you taken anything for that?”

Ben weakly shakes his head. “I had some early this morning before work, but it was the last of it. Pretty sure it’s worn off now.” 

Connor frowns as he watches Ben tremble under the blanket. He and Ben have never gotten along especially well, mostly due to how Connor feels that Ben tends to take advantage of Felix’s kind nature. Ben also clearly resents Connor for how Connor left Felix, though Connor can’t exactly blame him for that. But looking at Ben now, Connor is unable to feel anything except sympathy.

He hands the pills over to Ben, who chokes them down with some water. His eyes seem burdened by the simple task of staying open.

Felix moves the coffee table close to Ben and takes a seat on it, his mouth fixed in a tight line. “Ben, I told you when you first came down with this thing to take it easy. I told you it’s no joke. And what did you do? You went and worked both of your jobs, sometimes on the same day. How are you supposed to get better when you won’t give your body the chance to do what it needs to? How is it supposed to fight off any kind of virus when it’s having to use all of its energy just to keep you awake? And, oh my god, did you say you tried going into work this morning? Ben, seriously, what is wrong with you!”

Connor smiles softly, and places his hand gently on Felix’s shoulder. “Hey, honey, maybe dial it down just a bit, okay? Do you like people yelling at you when you’re not feeling good?”

 Felix frowns, somehow still managing to look adorable, with his scrunched up nose and furrowed brows. He takes a deep breath. “Fine. Sorry, for raising my voice, Ben. But I mean, look at you! Your face is … it’s, like, not even pale. It’s gray. Dude, you’re literally dying.” 

Felix likes to joke about Ben’s propensity for exaggeration, but Connor’s always found Felix to be able to effortlessly match Ben’s flair for the dramatic. Connor sighs and gently squeezes Felix’s shoulder. “He’s not dying. He’s just got that same nasty flu you had. I’m sure he’ll be fine with some rest,” Connor says, softly, hoping to soothe Felix a little.

Ben takes a deep, shaky breath, and coughs roughly until it ends in a sharp noise that sounds like it was possibly a sneeze but Connor can’t be sure. Connor notices Ben has a blue and gray plaid hanky— an actual handkerchief, not a tissue — clutched in his hand. Ben brings the hanky up and swipes at his nose, then drops his hand with the used hanky still clutched tightly, as though the simple gesture took his last bit of energy. 

“Jesus, Ben,” Felix mutters. “Do you need anything? We brought you some soup from Leslie’s. I can heat some up for you.”

Ben sniffles deeply, the gurgling sound making Connor wince. “No, I-I don’t think-hih! I don’t think I can eat.” Ben quickly pulls his handkerchief up to his face, covering his mouth and nose, his head jerking violently forward. “Huuh-IGG’SHUUUUUUH!” Ben follows the alarmingly violent sneeze with a miserable sounding groan and a nose blow that sounds like he’s not far from literally drowning in the mucus his body is producing. “Felix, if you want to help, you can open up the new pack of handkerchiefs I ordered online when this damn thing started,” he says, his already raspy voice also absurdly congested sounding, his ‘m’s and ‘n’s all sounding like ‘d’s. He gestures toward an unopened package on a table by the door. “I’ve gone through all the others I keep for when my allergies are bad and I don’t have it in me to do laundry. I have tissues, but they kill my nose.”

Felix tears into the package, pulling out a large pack of plaid handkerchiefs in varying colors. Felix frowns as he looks at them. “Oh my god, why didn’t I think of getting some of these when I was sick? I used lotion-infused tissues but they still rubbed my skin completely raw.”

“Because you’re not as wise as I am,” Ben says with a sniffle, reaching out for one of the hankies Felix is holding. Connor’s heart warms at the smile Felix is wearing from hearing Ben still able to joke around.

“Hmm… more like I’m not an eighty year old man. I mean, who even thinks about handkerchiefs these days?” Felix teases back.

“Dude, when you have allergies like mine, you get desperate for any kind of relief. I usually only use them at home though because people are weird about hiiih -” Ben shakily mutters, already bringing the fresh hanky up to his face. “HEEGGG’SHUUUHHH!” More coughing ensues. 

Connor decides to put away some of the stuff they brought over. He’d forgotten about the Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream. “Shit, Felix, we need to put this in the freezer,” he says, gesturing to the pint of ice cream.

Ben’s coughing settles and he raises up a little on the couch. “Did you bring me ice cream?” Ben asks, his interest clear even through his glassy eyes and chalky complexion. 

“Uh, yeah, but you said you’re not hungry, so I think we’ll just put it in the freezer,” Felix says, casting Ben a sly look. 

“I’m not hungry for soup. But ice-cream is different. Is it cookie dough?” Ben asks, swiping at his nose again with his hankie. 

“Ben,” Felix says seriously. “Of course it’s cookie dough. Do you think I’d bring anything less?”

“Oh my god, it’s Ben and Jerry’s,” Ben rasps out, sounding excited despite being so unwell. “Felix, I freaking love you. Those things are, like, seven dollars. I’d pay you back, but…. You shouldn’t have IGG’SHHHUHHHHH!”

There was no hitching or building up, or any warning. The sneeze blasted out of Ben entirely uncovered. Connor looks away as Ben cleans up the sneeze’s remnants from his face. 
 
“Excuse me, sorry,” Ben mumbles, and Connor can tell that the throat-scraping sneeze took any energy Ben had left out of him. His eyes shut, and he pulls the comforter more tightly around himself. “Actually,” he begins weakly, “I think I will save the ice cream for later. I know I don’t usually nap, but… I don’t think I can help it,” he says in almost a slur.

“Ben, you’re sick. I know rest is an unfamiliar concept to you, but this is what people are supposed to do when they’re sick,” Felix softly chides. “I’ll put away your ice cream and soup for you and leave the meds out on the table, but make sure you take the correct dosage. Connor and I will head out so you can finally get some proper sleep. Is there anything else you need before we leave?”

“No. Thank you, Felix,” Ben mumbles, sleepily, before turning on his side, face toward the couch, as he succumbs to his obvious exhaustion. 

_____

“So, all in all,” Felix says, as Connor drives away from Ben’s house, “that wasn’t too bad. I mean, I thought when Ben realized I was back with you, he’d give me a hard time.”

Connor laughs, shaking his head. “It wasn’t exactly fair to spring it on him when he’s sick with the flu.”

“Hmm…. maybe not, but it was for self-preservation, okay? I think this was the best case scenario.” 

A comfortable silence falls between them before Felix breaks it. “Winter is just awful. It seems like everyone is getting sick,” he says with a frown. “God, I bet you’re glad to have an immune system of steel, huh? You’ve been exposed to, like, billions of germs in the last week, alone.”

Connor smiles. “It’s a gift I treasure deeply. I feel like a king among peasants,” he says, then laughs when Felix playfully nudges him. 

“Honestly, I’m glad, too. With me just getting over the worst illness I’ve ever had and now having to take care of Ben, I’d fucking cry if you ended up coming down with something, too. That’s just way too many sicknesses to deal with. It’d be exhausting,” Felix says with a shudder, as though the sheer thought of it is unsettling. 

Connor is more than grateful for his excellent immune system, too. He knows Felix and he are on the rocky grounds of  rebuilding a relationship. Connor knows he needs to spend every moment working to earn back Felix’s full trust. If Connor were to come down with one of the nasty viruses seeming to lurk around every corner this year, he knows he couldn’t let Felix take care of him  — it wouldn’t be fair. Felix deserves nothing less than Connor’s best version of himself, and a drippy, sneezy, all-around disgusting cold is not conducive in making Connor appear at his best. Connor also tends to feel fiercely uncomfortable whenever anyone tries to fuss over him; he’s innately opposed to it. He knows it likely stems from his severely lacking experience in ever being cared for. He never dwells on the way he was raised, or treated by past boyfriends. He always aims to focus on the present, and besides, it’s not a relevant thing to analyze, anyhow. Because, thankfully, Connor doesn’t get sick. And if on the extremely off chance he does catch something, he knows it won’t be any worse than a sniffle — it never is. So, he smiles as he drives and thinks about all the ways he’ll try to make everything up to Felix in the coming days. 
 

Edited Wednesday at 01:45 PM by GraySkies

[RipleyToo]

An excellent immune system he thinks? Feels uncomfortable when others fuss over him? Doesn’t get sick? Only will get a sniffle? Conner is funny, I hope he’ll come down with the most embarrassing sniffly sneezy cold!

[dwaekki]

I think I felt the same as Connor in regards to Annie's sneezes, something about the way you described them in his perspective really translated the disgust across to me and I too got the ick 😭 I hope we won't be seeing any more of those for both mine and Connor's sake. 

On the other hand, I hope that Ben manages to recover as he must really be in bad shape. I wonder if Connor is going to finally catch this flu or catch something that is entirely new such as a different cold to everyone else. We shall see. 

I also LOVED Felix's little morning sneezes, that's such a fun little quirk for him to have and I hope you include that more in future chapters. Thank you for this new book and I'm so excited to read about more stifles and future illnesses!

[GraySkies]

9 hours ago, RipleyToo said:

An excellent immune system he thinks? Feels uncomfortable when others fuss over him? Doesn’t get sick? Only will get a sniffle? Conner is funny, I hope he’ll come down with the most embarrassing sniffly sneezy cold!

I'd have it no other way lol

4 hours ago, dwaekki said:

I think I felt the same as Connor in regards to Annie's sneezes, something about the way you described them in his perspective really translated the disgust across to me and I too got the ick 😭 I hope we won't be seeing any more of those for both mine and Connor's sake. 

On the other hand, I hope that Ben manages to recover as he must really be in bad shape. I wonder if Connor is going to finally catch this flu or catch something that is entirely new such as a different cold to everyone else. We shall see. 

I also LOVED Felix's little morning sneezes, that's such a fun little quirk for him to have and I hope you include that more in future chapters. Thank you for this new book and I'm so excited to read about more stifles and future illnesses!

Not the ick 😂 Fair, though lol. I don't *think* there will be anymore sneezing from Annie so you should be safe!

Glad you enjoyed Felix's morning sneezes! I know several people irl who have to let out several sneezes as soon as they wake up, and I think it's just the cutest thing lol.

[Privatedancer]

Can’t wait for Connor to be take down by the plague and I mean that in the nicest way. And love how much Felix and Ben care for each other.

Also, Felix may have saved me from being bitten by an iguana yesterday so thank you.  I am on vacation and was thrilled to see an iguana as I lay by the pool and it was coming towards me and looking at me with as much interest as I had in him and he cocked his head to the side as if to say, “why yes…thank you for asking…I would love if you scratched my head,” but then I remembered Felix and the raccoon and thought I better google if iguanas bite.  Turns out they have sharp teeth and aren’t fans of being fucked with so I left well enough alone.

[GraySkies]

23 minutes ago, Privatedancer said:

Can’t wait for Connor to be take down by the plague and I mean that in the nicest way. And love how much Felix and Ben care for each other.

Also, Felix may have saved me from being bitten by an iguana yesterday so thank you.  I am on vacation and was thrilled to see an iguana as I lay by the pool and it was coming towards me and looking at me with as much interest as I had in him and he cocked his head to the side as if to say, “why yes…thank you for asking…I would love if you scratched my head,” but then I remembered Felix and the raccoon and thought I better google if iguanas bite.  Turns out they have sharp teeth and aren’t fans of being fucked with so I left well enough alone.

Oh my gosh, the way I laughed at this comment 😂First off, I'm glad to hear you're excited for Connor's oncoming plague, and that you appreciate Felix and Ben. I, personally, love some good romantic caretaking, but I also adore friendship caretaking, too!

But, anyway, on to the more important part of this comment - the iguana!! You are so brave for even considering to pet that thing lol. I know Felix loves all things reptiles, but I actually am terrified of them 😅 So glad my story is what popped into your mind! You're very welcome for (unintentionally) potentially saving you from an iguana disaster!

[Rainbow]

14 hours ago, GraySkies said:

This is a sequel to The Reluctant Reunion about Felix and Connor. This can be read as a standalone, but the first fic will, of course, provide some helpful context. I'm uncertain how many more parts there will be, but this is definitely just the beginning. This part also has a little female sneezing. If you enjoy this, please let me know, because comments are so encouraging! 

_______________

Connor Hayes has made a fair amount of dubious decisions in his lifetime of thirty-four years. The first notable instance was when he was six years old and felt it reasonable to make pancakes for his parents at 5 o’clock in the morning. In addition to this already abhorrent mistake, six-year old Connor also thought it was a logical course of action to — after seeing flames arise from the stovetop —  run and hide in his bedroom to avoid getting in trouble. This particular mistake would mark the beginning of endless teasing whenever Connor came anywhere near a flame. He doesn’t know how many more years he can handle hearing better not put any candles on Connor’s birthday cake! Remember when he burnt his house down? There was also the time when he was sixteen years old and dated Bethany Spencer even though his actual crush was on Evan Lewis. This, unfortunately, would become a pattern for Connor until he was twenty-five years old and finally accepted dating women was perhaps best left to people who were actually attracted to them. 

Then, of course, there’s the time, a little over a year ago, when he effectively ran away to New York due to a severe case of commitment issues. This especially dubious decision resulted in Connor living in an apartment with a cat he was allergic to and a not-zero number of rat roommates. But worse than his appalling living situation, was the ache he felt each day in his chest that came from leaving behind the one part of his life that had actually made sense. He left behind the lovely life he’d made with Felix Brown in their quaint little town where he worked from home as an author and freelance editor. He’d, instead, replaced it with living in a city he despised with a cousin he barely tolerated and, of course, the cat he was allergic to. All while working as a full time editor at a publishing house he also grew to despise.

Connor spares a moment to consider the absurdity of the decisions he’d made in the last year. Then, he chooses to, instead, focus on not spilling the cups of coffee he’s carrying that he filled precariously to the brim. Once he makes it to the bedroom, he stands in the doorway and indulges in a moment of admiring what he sees before him. Felix is sprawled out diagonally on the bed, the sheets and comforter in tangles between his legs. Felix’s face is pressed into the pillow that Connor, until ten minutes ago, had been using as his own. Felix’s mouth is parted slightly and Connor can hear Felix letting out soft, rhythmic snores. Connor wouldn’t be at all surprised to find a large spot of drool on the pillow — it wouldn’t be the first time.

He carefully walks toward the bed, being sure to set one mug gently down on the end table next to Felix. Connor maneuvers himself into the bed the best he can with Felix spread out across it. He settles into the bed, resting his back against the headboard. Felix’s brown hair is a mess of waves splayed out across his forehead. His features are soft and relaxed in sleep, and Connor smiles and shakes his head as he spots the predictable puddle of drool on the pillow. Connor internally chastises himself for the umpteenth time for ever considering it a sensible idea to walk away from this man. 

Connor relaxes into the bed. He pulls out his phone to scroll mindlessly through news stories, while taking sips of his own coffee. They seem to get progressively more troubling the farther down he scrolls and leave him wondering why he continues bothering to check the news, at all. He’s relieved when Felix stirs next to him.

“Mmm, you were ‘sposed to bring me coffee,” Felix mutters into his pillow.

“Honey, I did bring you coffee. But when I got back in here, you were out again,” Connor explains, and laughs when he sees Felix scrunch his nose up at this information.

“I’m so tired,” Felix pouts, face still pressed firmly against the pillow.

“Well, it’s Saturday. There’s no reason we can’t lie around in bed all morning,” Connor says, keeping his voice low and soft, twirling some of Felix’s wavy strands of hair through his fingers.

Felix continues muttering — this time something entirely unintelligible.

“I’m going to need you to use actual words at some point here,” Connor says softly, still twirling Felix’s hair through his fingers.

Felix groans — he’s never been one to particularly enjoy mornings — and adjusts himself into an upright position, now propped up against the headboard alongside Connor. Felix, adjusting the tangled up sheets and comforter to better cover his bare torso, curls into Connor. He nuzzles his face into Connor’s shoulder. Connor doesn’t mind; he’s more than content to lie in bed with Felix even if the man in question seems to be using Connor more as a source of warmth than for actual company. Connor extends his arm, and wraps Felix up even closer, making sure he’s perfectly nestled for maximum amount of warmth.

Suddenly Felix’s head quickly bobs up and down. The sound he makes would hardly be perceptible if it weren’t for their close proximity.

“N’gt!”

Connor’s lip twitches. He waits a few seconds then — another bob of Felix’s head and— 

“N’gt!” 

Three more seconds and the inevitable — 

“N’gt!”

“Bless you, sweetie,” Connor says with a chuckle. “Every single morning, huh?”

Felix twitches his nose like he’s some kind of rodent and not, instead, a thirty-two year old man. Connor would be telling an outrageous lie if he said he didn’t find it immensely adorable. 

“Ugh, yeah,” Felix says with a sigh, rubbing his scrunched up nose with his palm. “It’s like my body isn’t ready to start the day until it gets a few sneezes out.”

“Well, now that you’ve gotten your sneezes out,” Connor begins. “How about you drink some of your coffee so you can really begin waking up? We don’t have to do anything for a few hours but we did agree to meet Annie and Lilah for lunch.”

Felix reaches over for his coffee and brings it up to his lips. Connor watches as Felix’s eyes close in pleasure. “Oh my god,” he moans. “It’s so good. And I didn’t even have to get out of bed to make it. You’re literally the best person in the world. ” Felix states, matter-of-factly. “How did I go an entire year without you bringing coffee to me in bed every morning? Seriously, babe, how did I survive?”

“I don’t know. You must be made of some pretty strong stuff to endure such a tragedy,” Connor says, feigning a plaintive tone. 

Felix looks up, his smile wide and eyes bright. “I am very strong. Mentally and physically,” he says flexing his arm, which causes Connor to dribble a little of the coffee he’d just sipped.

Felix’s body is made in a way that seems best suited for slipping through crowds unnoticed, or wriggling through a tight crawl space. Connor imagines Felix’s lithe frame would be especially conducive in pulling off a type of heist-related situation — if Felix actually had the gracefulness to go with it, which he certainly doesn’t. More often than not, though, it’s actual purpose is mostly reserved to sitting around on the couch, with the exception of when he’s teaching high school Biology. Even then, from what Connor’s gathered, Felix mostly sits in his chair during the work day. Conversely, Connor’s frequent days spent at the gym lends him a rather athletic build. In appearance, they’re quite opposite from each other. That’s especially true when considering Felix’s more relaxed sense of style, with Felix never seeming to have graduated from that phase college students go through  —  the one where they pick up whatever clean-ish shirt and pants happen to be lying around. Connor would never use the word sloppy to describe his boyfriend because he would never be so mean. If asked, Connor would say slightly disheveled, or perhaps laidback. Though, all the while, sloppy would be back there in the recesses of his mind scratching to get to the front.  While in New York, Connor saw many different types of men, including men in similar appearance to Connor — tall with a muscular build and, overall, well composed.  He never felt even a spark of interest toward a single one. 

Connor watches as Felix lazily picks up the TV remote and attempts to find a show to occupy their morning with. Connor imagines the eventual destination will be a toss up between either a reptile-centered documentary, or some awful, sensationalized true crime series. 

“And then she was stabbed eighteen times in the chest.”

The words spill out of the TV, and unfortunately, into Connor’s ears. Please, he thinks, let it change to something about crocodiles, or iguanas, or snakes, or anything that’s not about a brutal murder.

“Upon closer inspection, there were also bruises around her neck — clear evidence of a strangulation.” 

And with that, Felix sets the remote on the end table as he settles more into the bed, eyes fixated on the screen. 

Connor sighs and rubs his forehead. He continues sipping his coffee as he deliberately tunes out the overly dramatized murder re-enactment. He thinks back to Felix telling him that he was the “best person in the world” for bringing him coffee every morning. It was an obvious joke, a clear exaggeration, but Connor has noticed several small hints suggesting Felix may be too easily forgiving. It’s in the way Felix still sends him easy, light smiles. Shouldn’t this take more effort to earn back? Shouldn’t his expressions still be burdened with the heaviness that comes from losing trust in someone you thought would never hurt you? But, here they are, three days after agreeing to “take it slow,” drinking coffee and watching TV in bed together — after spending the night engaged in an activity that was, decidedly, not “taking it slow.”

Connor knows he should be sending his thanks to whatever deity responsible for allowing Connor to easily slip back into Felix’s life with seemingly no ramifications. But, instead, he just feels… guilty. At the time, leaving seemed like it was the best choice for both he and Felix. Connor knew if he’d asked Felix, Felix would have chosen to come with him. And Felix would have hated every part of New York City. So, Felix would be faced with either staying in a place he despised, or he’d be forced to leave Connor. So, Connor took away any choice he may have had by simply telling Felix he was leaving for New York without leaving any room for discussion. The conversation — though calling it such would be a stretch — lasted all of five minutes and resulted in Felix leaving the coffee shop before any food or drink could ever arrive. It was a year before he saw Felix again —  when Connor decided to finally leave his ridiculously demanding job that barely paid enough for him to afford the apartment he hated. Though, he likes to think, even if he had loved the apartment and the job, he still would have come back for Felix.

It’s obvious to Connor now, after some time to reflect, that he’d been unknowingly participating in a tale — one he’s not fond of — as old as time. Simply put, Connor ran away. He ran away because he was afraid of getting hurt. It was as pathetic as it sounds.

“Babe,” Felix’s voice, still slightly hoarse from sleep, “how mad do you think Annie would be if we… just stayed here today? If we didn’t have lunch?”

Connor huffs out a laugh. “I know we barely know her, but based on the single interaction I had with her… Well, she gives me the impression that she’s not really, uh… meek. I have a feeling she’d tell you exactly how she felt if you called her up a few hours before we’re supposed to meet, to cancel.”

Felix looks thoughtful. “But… what if I’m sick?” he asks.

“You’re not sick,” Connor says, rolling his eyes. Connor is very aware of this fact because Felix had been sick the week prior with a flu that’s just now fully released its grip on him. He’s been more conscious than ever of Felix’s health and if there were any signs of illness, he’s sure he’d notice. 

“Oh no,” Felix begins with a painfully fake cough. “Achoo achoo achoo. Oh, Connor, it appears the flu has come back for me. I must stay in bed and rest. Oh, yes, I’m afraid I mustn’t venture out on this cold winter’s day for I shall catch my death,” he says, hand held to his forehead, as though he’s a Victorian lady one step away from collapsing onto her fainting couch. 

“Felix,” Connor says, sighing, but he can’t stop the slight twitch of his lips that betrays his amusement. “Why do you want to avoid going, anyway? Annie’s your friend.”

Felix scrunches up his nose and drops his shoulders. “Because, doesn’t it sound better to just … not go out?” he asks, wistfully.

“Has anyone ever told you before, sweetheart, that you’re a little bit  lazy?” Connor says with a slight pre-emptive wince for the reaction that likely is coming.

But instead of launching into a defense, Felix frowns, and slumps back into bed. “It’s been said, yes,” he says, with a long sigh.

Connor laughs, absentmindedly pushing up his glasses. “Well, getting out sometimes is good for you. We won’t even be out that long. It’ll be a totally harmless adventure,” Connor promises.
_____

Coming out was a mistake. This is all Connor can manage to think as he watches Annie swipe at her glistening nostrils for what must be the thirtieth time in the thirty minutes they’ve been out.
Connor wouldn’t consider himself a germaphobe — if he were, he would have instantly perished the first (of many) times Felix sneezed and coughed on him during his bout of the flu. He’s not exactly uneasy about what the germs can do; he never seems to catch anything, regardless of the extent of the exposure. There’s something, though, intrinsically off-putting to him about being in the vicinity of someone who’s likely to start spewing germ-laden droplets from their face at any given moment. With Felix, it had, of course, been different. Because…well, because he was Felix. 

In general, Connor prefers to occupy tidy, clean spaces. This is another area where he must make an exception for Felix. While there’s certainly been times when he’s felt frustration bubble — when he’s seen Felix’s overly full laundry basket, a random sock in the kitchen, or a pile of dishes in  the sink —  the frustration never fully boiled over because… he’s Felix. Connor’s rules clearly don’t apply to him. Even when Felix had been wiped out by the flu a few weeks ago and reduced to a runny-nosed, sneezing and coughing heap in bed, Connor didn’t hesitate to pick up the used tissues littered all over the bedroom. He, of course, used a paper towel as a barrier, and thoroughly washed his hands afterwards, but that’s not something he would've done for a single other person he’s ever known.

Connor redirects his attention from his thoughts back to Annie who’s speaking about… something. He’s only had one prior interaction with her before now, but she’s clearly on the eccentric side and sometimes trying to understand the point she’s making— if there even is one — feels akin to trying to catch a butterfly in his hand. It went unspoken, but it was clear to everyone the reason meeting for lunch was mostly for Lilah — Annie’s girlfriend and a huge fan of Connor’s work — to have the chance to meet Connor. However, he’s hardly had the chance to exchange any words with Lilah due to Annie and Felix dominating all conversations.

“So, thaa-heh-t’chiieeeew!” Annie’s nose interrupts whatever she was trying to say. Connor is disappointed to see that Annie appears to think holding her hand a foot away from her face is an adequate way to catch a sneeze. He can literally see the fine mist she expels. It’s there for just a moment before it dissipates, but still, he knows an innumerable number of germs have been sent out into the air.

“Excuse me,” Annie says, blinking.

Annie's girlfriend, Lilah, shifts her long black braid off her shoulder as she inspects her girlfriend’s face. “You’re catching a cold,” she says with a slight frown.

Annie sniffles and wriggles her nose. “No, I’m not ‘catching a cold.’ My nose is just itchy and runny.” As if needing to prove this, she uses her hand to roughly scrub at her nose. 

“Oh my god, Annie, don’t infect me. I literally just got over being sick,” Felix pleas, miserably.

“I did, too!” Annie says, but more in a sense of disbelief at herself than any actual anger. “I was sick as a freaking dog just a few weeks ago. There’s no way I caught something again. I mean, it’s winter. Noses get runny in winter,” she says, though her expression lacks conviction. 

“Sweetheart,” Lilah begins, her voice laced with unmistakable fondness. “We’ve been in a heated indoor space for over half an hour. And, well, you know how you are with colds and things…” Lilah trails off.

“I-I do seem to get them a lot, don’t I?” Annie asks, sounding disheartened at this apparent revelation.

Lilah’s expression softens into a gentle smile. “Yes, baby, you do. It’s because you spend so much time basically bathing in germs at work.”

“But… when I first started teaching, I was fine, wasn’t I?” Annie asks Lilah.

“I wouldn’t say fine. But, no, it wasn’t this bad. Those were fourth-graders, though. This past year, you’ve been with Kindergarteners, and, well… I imagine they’re a little more free with spreading their germs,” Lilah says, sympathetically.

“I guess…” mutters Annie. “But I r-r-heh-really think heehh-t’ssshIEEEW!”

Again, Annie’s hand extends far out from her face as a fine mist sprays the air. That sneeze seemed especially…wet, Connor is disappointed to realize. 

“Bless you, Annie,” Connor starts, keeping his tone polite. “You know, if you aren't feeling well, we can just do this another time. I understand, and I'm sure Felix does, too, if you need to go home and rest,” Connor says, offering his most sympathetic smile. 

But Annie shakes her head. “Oh, gosh, no. I mean, we don't have to leave because I might be getting the sniffles. Like I said, I feel fine,” Annie repeats, but her hand is already back at her nose ready for another swipe. “I'm not going on bed rest because of a runny nose.”

Connor strongly wishes she would because it's not “just” a runny nose. Once sneezes enter the equation, he prefers to maintain as far as possible a distance who has, despite what Annie says, an obvious cold beginning to bloom.

Lilah begins doting all over Annie, reaching up to feel her forehead for a fever while Annie continues to huff that she’s “pretty much fine.” At this point, Connor notices Felix is being uncharacteristically quiet. When he looks, he can see Felix typing urgently on his phone. Connor can’t help but notice the name “Ben” displayed at the top of the screen.

“Everything okay?” Connor asks, lightly nudging Felix to get his attention.

Felix’s brows are deeply furrowed. “Um, I don’t know. It’s Ben. I think he’s, like, really sick.” 

Connor thinks about Felix’s best friend, Ben. He and Felix had, reluctantly, helped Ben move into his new apartment last week. Felix had been in the thick of his illness, so it doesn’t surprise Connor that Ben caught what Felix had. But, from what Connor can recall, this is Ben’s fifth day being sick. Felix had already starting getting better by that point.

“What do you mean? What’s wrong?” Connor asks.

Instead of responding, Felix hands his phone over so Connor can read the text conversation between him and Ben.

Felix: Dude, look. Leslie’s Kitchen brought back their pretzels.

Connor looks at the image attached of the pretzel Felix is currently eating.

Ben: Looks good

Felix: It IS. They even cost less than they used to. And they come with cheddar cheese cups now.

Connor looks at the image Felix attached of the cheddar cheese cup and wonders if a picture is actually necessary, but then he decides to move on to the next text instead of questioning Felix.

Ben: Yum

Felix: I’m going to be honest here, Ben, I definitely thought you’d be more excited. I mean, you’ve spent the last two years whining about how they were taken off the menu. 

Ben: Sorry. Kinda tired i guess

Felix: Still sick?

Ben: 👍

Felix: Please tell me you’re home and not still trying to work through this thing.

Ben: Went to the cafe but Melanie sent me home

Felix: Good. Do you need anything?

Ben: No but thnks

Connor finishes reading the texts and passes the phone back to Felix. Felix is looking at him as though Connor should also be sharing his sense of urgency.

“Uh, I mean, I’m not sure why you think he’s ‘really sick’? There’s not  exactly much to go on here,” Connor says, but it’s clear he’s saying the wrong words as Felix’s eyes widen.

“Not much to go on? Connor! Have you ever texted Ben before?”

Connor sighs. He has several times and hasn’t ever found the experience especially appealing. “Yes, I have,” Connor says, instead.

“And how many times, Connor, has Ben ever sent you a text that’s been less than ten words?” Felix asks, pointedly.

Connor takes a moment to seriously consider this. “I mean, I guess, they usually are pretty wordy,” Connor agrees.

“Yes, exactly. This is Ben. He should be complaining about how he’s currently on his deathbed and texting me a superfluous list of his symptoms and other exaggerated nonsense. He should be begging me to bring him medicine and tissues, or whatever. We need to check on him,” Felix says, mind clearly made up.

“Okay,” Connor begins, carefully. “I’m not saying we shouldn’t, but it seems like he is pretty tired. Maybe he’d rather get some sleep than to have us just barge in,” but Connor knows before he’s even finished speaking how Felix feels about the suggestion. 

“Connor, I know Ben. Something’s off with him,” Felix says, and Connor hates the concern he sees in Felix’s eyes, not liking to ever see Felix worried.

Connor wants to tell Felix that what’s “off” about Ben is the fact that he has the flu and that, all things considered, it’s entirely normal that Ben isn’t giving his typical energetic text responses. But Connor knows how important Ben is to Felix. They’ve had an unbreakable bond between them since they were four years old. Felix may act exasperated at Ben’s often ridiculous antics and overall tendency to be dramatic, but Connor knows Felix considers Ben to be family. 

Connor winces as he hears Annie send three more high-pitched sneezes into the air. 

“Hiiih-T’sHIEW! Hih’t’shiewww! HIH-T’SHIEEEEWW!”

“Okay, that’s it,” Lilah says, definitively. “Sorry to cut this short, but it looks like Annie and I are going to have to head out,” she says, addressing Felix and Connor.

“We don’t have to leave hiih! Hih-eh’tchIEWW!” Annie says, once again, sharing her germs generously with the restaurant. She rubs her slightly pinkened nose.

“You’re spending the day in bed,” Lilah says, already holding out Annie’s coat to her. Annie’s nose is scrunching up and her nostrils are twitching as though in preparation for a sneeze that’s not yet ready to come.  

Annie smiles and sends Lilah a suggestive look. “Oooh, spending the day in bed with you? I can think of plenty of things we can do in said bed. Hiih-eT-chieeeWW!” She snaps forward with a particularly harsh, high-pitched, spraying sneeze.

Lilah rolls her eyes but looks at Annie, adoringly. “Go ahead and erase any items from that filthy list of yours that doesn’t involve sleeping, watching movies, or drinking tea.”

Annie pouts. “That doesn’t sound like any fun at all,” she says, once again, rubbing her nose.

After paying for their meal, the group departs with plans to meet up again after Annie’s feeling better. Felix hurriedly walks to the passenger side of the car, as though Ben’s going to perish if they don’t get to his house as soon as possible.

_____

Connor grimaces when he sees the state Ben is in once he opens the door. Ben is pale except for two bright spots of pink on both of his cheeks and a reddened nose. His shoulder length, dark hair hangs in limp waves, as though it hasn’t been washed in days. He is in an oversized gray hoodie and plaid pajama pants, wearing mismatched socks. He has a blanket draped over him like a cape and the first thing he does when pulling open the door to reveal Felix and Connor is cough wretchedly. Connor doesn’t know how he keeps finding himself around so many sick people.

“Hey,” Ben croaks, his voice so raspy and rough, it’s slightly alarming. “Why’s Connor here?” Ben directs the question to Felix.

“Uh, well…” Felix says, rubbing the back of his neck. “We’re kind of back together,” he says quickly before forcing himself into Ben’s living room.

“You’re what?” Ben rasps out. Connor imagines Ben intends the question to carry an annoyance with it, or some frustration, or possibly even anger. But, instead, it comes across as just pitiful, as he starts to cough and moves toward the couch. He lies down, pulling his blanket over himself up to his chin as he continues coughing, seeming as though he’s never going to stop.

Felix grabs a nearby water bottle and shoves it into Ben’s hands. Ben shakily takes the water bottle, still lying down, as he takes small sips of it, his coughs finally calming down.

Felix places his hand on Ben’s forehead, checking him for a fever. It’s clear to Connor without even feeling Ben’s skin that the guy is completely burning up.

“Oh my god, Ben. How long have you been sick? Like, five days now?” Felix asks, his unease evident in his voice.

Ben clears his throat, carefully, as though afraid to trigger another coughing fit. “Yeah, I think so. That sounds right, anyway.” 

Connor and Felix had stopped at a store on the way to pick up a few supplies for Ben, so Connor now busies himself with setting everything out on the coffee table. He holds up some generic cold medicine. “Hey, man, have you taken anything for that?”

Ben weakly shakes his head. “I had some early this morning before work, but it was the last of it. Pretty sure it’s worn off now.” 

Connor frowns as he watches Ben tremble under the blanket. He and Ben have never gotten along especially well, mostly due to how Connor feels that Ben tends to take advantage of Felix’s kind nature. Ben also clearly resents Connor for how Connor left Felix, though Connor can’t exactly blame him for that. But looking at Ben now, Connor is unable to feel anything except sympathy.

He hands the pills over to Ben, who chokes them down with some water. His eyes seem burdened by the simple task of staying open.

Felix moves the coffee table close to Ben and takes a seat on it, his mouth fixed in a tight line. “Ben, I told you when you first came down with this thing to take it easy. I told you it’s no joke. And what did you do? You went and worked both of your jobs, sometimes on the same day. How are you supposed to get better when you won’t give your body the chance to do what it needs to? How is it supposed to fight off any kind of virus when it’s having to use all of its energy just to keep you awake? And, oh my god, did you say you tried going into work this morning? Ben, seriously, what is wrong with you!”

Connor smiles softly, and places his hand gently on Felix’s shoulder. “Hey, honey, maybe dial it down just a bit, okay? Do you like people yelling at you when you’re not feeling good?”

 Felix frowns, somehow still managing to look adorable, with his scrunched up nose and furrowed brows. He takes a deep breath. “Fine. Sorry, for raising my voice, Ben. But I mean, look at you! Your face is … it’s, like, not even pale. It’s gray. Dude, you’re literally dying.” 

Felix likes to joke about Ben’s propensity for exaggeration, but Connor’s always found Felix to be able to effortlessly match Ben’s flair for the dramatic. Connor sighs and gently squeezes Felix’s shoulder. “He’s not dying. He’s just got that same nasty flu you had. I’m sure he’ll be fine with some rest,” Connor says, softly, hoping to soothe Felix a little.

Ben takes a deep, shaky breath, and coughs roughly until it ends in a sharp noise that sounds like it was possibly a sneeze but Connor can’t be sure. Connor notices Ben has a blue and gray plaid hanky— an actual handkerchief, not a tissue — clutched in his hand. Ben brings the hanky up and swipes at his nose, then drops his hand with the used hanky still clutched tightly, as though the simple gesture took his last bit of energy. 

“Jesus, Ben,” Felix mutters. “Do you need anything? We brought you some soup from Leslie’s. I can heat some up for you.”

Ben sniffles deeply, the gurgling sound making Connor wince. “No, I-I don’t think-hih! I don’t think I can eat.” Ben quickly pulls his handkerchief up to his face, covering his mouth and nose, his head jerking violently forward. “Huuh-IGG’SHUUUUUUH!” Ben follows the alarmingly violent sneeze with a miserable sounding groan and a nose blow that sounds like he’s not far from literally drowning in the mucus his body is producing. “Felix, if you want to help, you can open up the new pack of handkerchiefs I ordered online when this damn thing started,” he says, his already raspy voice also absurdly congested sounding, his ‘m’s and ‘n’s all sounding like ‘d’s. He gestures toward an unopened package on a table by the door. “I’ve gone through all the others I keep for when my allergies are bad and I don’t have it in me to do laundry. I have tissues, but they kill my nose.”

Felix tears into the package, pulling out a large pack of plaid handkerchiefs in varying colors. Felix frowns as he looks at them. “Oh my god, why didn’t I think of getting some of these when I was sick? I used lotion-infused tissues but they still rubbed my skin completely raw.”

“Because you’re not as wise as I am,” Ben says with a sniffle, reaching out for one of the hankies Felix is holding. Connor’s heart warms at the smile Felix is wearing from hearing Ben still able to joke around.

“Hmm… more like I’m not an eighty year old man. I mean, who even thinks about handkerchiefs these days?” Felix teases back.

“Dude, when you have allergies like mine, you get desperate for any kind of relief. I usually only use them at home though because people are weird about hiiih -” Ben shakily mutters, already bringing the fresh hanky up to his face. “HEEGGG’SHUUUHHH!” More coughing ensues. 

Connor decides to put away some of the stuff they brought over. He’d forgotten about the Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream. “Shit, Felix, we need to put this in the freezer,” he says, gesturing to the pint of ice cream.

Ben’s coughing settles and he raises up a little on the couch. “Did you bring me ice cream?” Ben asks, his interest clear even through his glassy eyes and chalky complexion. 

“Uh, yeah, but you said you’re not hungry, so I think we’ll just put it in the freezer,” Felix says, casting Ben a sly look. 

“I’m not hungry for soup. But ice-cream is different. Is it cookie dough?” Ben asks, swiping at his nose again with his hankie. 

“Ben,” Felix says seriously. “Of course it’s cookie dough. Do you think I’d bring anything less?”

“Oh my god, it’s Ben and Jerry’s,” Ben rasps out, sounding excited despite being so unwell. “Felix, I freaking love you. Those things are, like, seven dollars. I’d pay you back, but…. You shouldn’t have IGG’SHHHUHHHHH!”

There was no hitching or building up, or any warning. The sneeze blasted out of Ben entirely uncovered. Connor looks away as Ben cleans up the sneeze’s remnants from his face. 
 
“Excuse me, sorry,” Ben mumbles, and Connor can tell that the throat-scraping sneeze took any energy Ben had left out of him. His eyes shut, and he pulls the comforter more tightly around himself. “Actually,” he begins weakly, “I think I will save the ice cream for later. I know I don’t usually nap, but… I don’t think I can help it,” he says in almost a slur.

“Ben, you’re sick. I know rest is an unfamiliar concept to you, but this is what people are supposed to do when they’re sick,” Felix softly chides. “I’ll put away your ice cream and soup for you and leave the meds out on the table, but make sure you take the correct dosage. Connor and I will head out so you can finally get some proper sleep. Is there anything else you need before we leave?”

“No. Thank you, Felix,” Ben mumbles, sleepily, before turning on his side, face toward the couch, as he succumbs to his obvious exhaustion. 

_____

“So, all in all,” Felix says, as Connor drives away from Ben’s house, “that wasn’t too bad. I mean, I thought when Ben realized I was back with you, he’d give me a hard time.”

Connor laughs, shaking his head. “It wasn’t exactly fair to spring it on him when he’s sick with the flu.”

“Hmm…. maybe not, but it was for self-preservation, okay? I think this was the best case scenario.” 

A comfortable silence falls between them before Felix breaks it. “Winter is just awful. It seems like everyone is getting sick,” he says with a frown. “God, I bet you’re glad to have an immune system of steel, huh? You’ve been exposed to, like, billions of germs in the last week, alone.”

Connor smiles. “It’s a gift I treasure deeply. I feel like a king among peasants,” he says, then laughs when Felix playfully nudges him. 

“Honestly, I’m glad, too. With me just getting over the worst illness I’ve ever had and now having to take care of Ben, I’d fucking cry if you ended up coming down with something, too. That’s just way too many sicknesses to deal with. It’d be exhausting,” Felix says with a shudder, as though the sheer thought of it is unsettling. 

Connor is more than grateful for his excellent immune system, too. He knows Felix and he are on the rocky grounds of  rebuilding a relationship. Connor knows he needs to spend every moment working to earn back Felix’s full trust. If Connor were to come down with one of the nasty viruses seeming to lurk around every corner this year, he knows he couldn’t let Felix take care of him  — it wouldn’t be fair. Felix deserves nothing less than Connor’s best version of himself, and a drippy, sneezy, all-around disgusting cold is not conducive in making Connor appear at his best. Connor also tends to feel fiercely uncomfortable whenever anyone tries to fuss over him; he’s innately opposed to it. He knows it likely stems from his severely lacking experience in ever being cared for. He never dwells on the way he was raised, or treated by past boyfriends. He always aims to focus on the present, and besides, it’s not a relevant thing to analyze, anyhow. Because, thankfully, Connor doesn’t get sick. And if on the extremely off chance he does catch something, he knows it won’t be any worse than a sniffle — it never is. So, he smiles as he drives and thinks about all the ways he’ll try to make everything up to Felix in the coming days. 
 

Poor Connor around so many sick people 😅 I can feel him! I would be disgusted by Annie to. And with the way you described the situation I can 100% relate with him. Annie is annoying, I would never meet her again tbh 😅 I did not like her very much in Reluctant Reunion and now she ruined it completely haha. Also because Felix had just recovered and can't use a new illness. But back to Connor, I will feel so sorry for him when he tries everything to be the best boyfriend for Felix and to make up for his mistake and regain trust and works on his fear of commitment and then gets sick. Plus he does not like to be cared for and isn't used to it and is not used to being sick... will be a hard time🥺. And Ben, omg he really tried to work through the flu 🥺 Hopefully he gets better soon, luckily he has Felix who cares about him. Would be nice for everyone if Connor and Ben start to get a connection sometime 😄 But first Ben needs to get better ❤️ So yeah excited too see how it's going on 😊

[GraySkies]

Thanks for your comment! Glad you're excited to see where it goes ☺️ I also feel sorry for whats about to happen to Connor but... very excited at the same time because I'm a horrible person 😅

[Rainbow]

34 minutes ago, GraySkies said:

Thanks for your comment! Glad you're excited to see where it goes ☺️ I also feel sorry for whats about to happen to Connor but... very excited at the same time because I'm a horrible person 😅

Aaw you are not horrible. I mean... at least you take care the characters stay alive and get an happy ending 🤣

[2SHY222]

Felix lecturing Ben is the pot calling the kettle black 😂. Funny how Felix casually forgot he tried to change bed sheets and insisted he was fine till he wasn't. I'm glad Ben has someone to look after him. 

I'm also looking forward to how exactly Mr "immune of steel" plans to hide his budding illness. I wonder if his sick sneezes are different from his allergies 🤔

[GraySkies]

5 hours ago, Rainbow said:

Aaw you are not horrible. I mean... at least you take care the characters stay alive and get an happy ending 🤣

Yes, I love a happy ending. I just have to put everyone through hell before they get there 😂

4 hours ago, 2SHY222 said:

Felix lecturing Ben is the pot calling the kettle black 😂. Funny how Felix casually forgot he tried to change bed sheets and insisted he was fine till he wasn't. I'm glad Ben has someone to look after him. 

I'm also looking forward to how exactly Mr "immune of steel" plans to hide his budding illness. I wonder if his sick sneezes are different from his allergies 🤔

It really is hypocritical, isn't it? In Felix's defense, he did, at least take time off work lol. 

And I'm glad you're looking forward to Connors oncoming illness. I have a feeling his sick sneezes are going to differ from his allergy ones. My favorite thing about Connor is how I've set him up already as a very tidy, sophisticated person. I've already shown how careful he is with covering his allergy sneezes and trying to contain every single one neatly into a tissue. So, I love the idea of him having such a bad cold that it kind of makes it impossible to do that. I really want him to be at the mercy of the cold😂 

[AceUpYourSleeve]

3 minutes ago, GraySkies said:

I really want him to be at the mercy of the cold😂 

And you're definitely not the only one wanting this 🤭

[ichixshiro14]

Ahhhh I'm so excited you have a sequel!! I'm so looking forward to vulnerable Connor 😈❤️

[Reader]

I’ve just finished your last story in basically one sitting which was oh my goodness…excellent!!!! And so well-done!!! Amazing!!! Congrats on reaching your goal because I definitely understand how hard it is to not get stuck at the first paragraph because you’re rewriting over and over to be perfect. 

I very much look forward to this story! Great job with all the characters written so far. It’s so hard to make each person have a distinct personality and background like real-life humans but here you are knocking it out in a short time. 

I love how you write caretaking. It’s so sweet and gentle. The cold aspects have been  and 🔥. And I greatly enjoyed the trope of the last story (person A not always taking care of themselves/while dominant person B takes care of them gently) and I know I’ll also enjoy this upcoming sick trope (person B usually being tidy and in control but coming undone). 

You portrayed Connor’s unease well this chapter. It was so relatable to how I also view germs but how one or two people are exceptions. I enjoyed Annie’s cold and your light mess descriptions. The description of Ben’s sickness was 🎵 to my ears and his sneezes sounded so harsh and deeply masculine, which was very yummy! 

The interesting night with Ben and that one couple you hinted at sounds intriguing indeed. The more the merrier, right? 🥳

[GraySkies]

The next part is ready. Yay 🥳I will say, though, there still isn't much sneezing. I promise, I'm not just posing as a sneeze fetishist 😅 They will come, I promise. A lot of this is just character development and plot setup stuff. Sorry, but it needs to be done lol. I'm really trying to explore these characters and this part really helped me get to know them a little better. There is, still, some caretaking though. In the form of Connor taking care of Ben, so I should say reluctant caretaking. But, caretaking, nonetheless. Okay, now I'm going to respond to a few replies. Feel free to skip straight to the story if you'd prefer.

@AceUpYourSleeve So glad I am good company with wanting Connor to just absolutely suffer 😅

@ichixshiro14 Thanks for your comment!! Vulnerable Connor is coming! Just, not so much in this part. Oops. Sorry, again.

@Readen Omg, first of all, thanks for validating my account! I thought I would be in pending limbo for eternity. I can't wait to finally have the ability to edit! But, also, thanks for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment! It was really fulfilling to reach my writing goal and to realize I am capable of finishing something, as long as I don't put too much pressure on myself and write things I personally get satisfaction from. I'm thrilled you think the characters are decently-developed. I'm finding that fleshing out these characters IS pretty difficult without writing 100,000 words so I greatly appreciate you telling me their personalities are still coming through! Oh, and in regards to your comment about Ben and the "interesting night" -- I did actually have some plans in mind for that that I may or may not fulfill. I definitely want to give Ben his own story one day because he deserves a nice happy romance (because his life is honestly pretty rough), and I've considered incorporating some elements from that night as a starter, but... we'll see lol. Thanks again for the nice comment! 

________

Connor spends the next day in his own apartment, working on a new writing project. He finds himself thinking of Felix's small house and its cozy warmth that his own place simply does not have. Felix’s home is full of colorful rugs scattered across the floors, their vibrant patterns bringing the house to life. A variety of houseplants fill the corners of every room, every bookshelf, and every windowsill. One could say Felix’s house has too many houseplants, but that’s not something he’ll ever tell Felix. Felix has collected a multitude of lamps in different shapes, colors, and sizes from thrift stores over the years, their soft, golden light lending the house a comforting ambiance.  Felix’s entire personality spills out into his home. Connor wants to blame the sterile atmosphere of his own home — though, calling it a ‘home’ is generous — on only having recently moved back into town. He knows, though, that’s not the truth; he’s never been one to care much for decorating or owning anything frivolous. 

Even before Connor left for New York, back when he and Felix had a thriving relationship, he never felt comfortable working at Felix's house without Felix there. It felt like he didn’t belong there, as though he were invading the house with his unwelcome presence. So, once Felix left for work, Connor would drive back to his own apartment. He realizes now that those were signs of his fear—fear of letting himself get too comfortable, of accepting a life he was terrified to lose.
He wants to show Felix that he’s committed to their relationship and isn’t going to run away again. But he knows that will take time, and what they have right now is so fragile. It’s too early to suggest moving in with Felix, but he thinks that’s what he wants to do, which is honestly a place he’d never think he’d reach. He’ll discuss everything with his therapist, but he thinks maybe slowly spending more time in Felix’s home without Felix will be good for them both. He makes a mental note to bring the subject up to Felix.

After a few hours of getting, essentially, nothing done, Connor receives an alarming text.

Felix: I’m at the hospital with Ben. Are you free for a call?

Connor stares at the text for a moment, his heart pounding and nausea building while his thoughts pile on top of each other. Finally, after getting in a long, deep breath, he calls Felix, the phone shaking in his hand.

“Are you okay?” Connor asks, surprised to hear his voice tremble.

Connor doesn’t expect Felix to sigh, but that’s what he does. “Yeah. I’m fine. But it’s stupid, freaking Ben,” he says with a mixture of irritation and tenderness that tends to only come out when he talks about Ben. Connor hates himself for how his heart settles at hearing it’s Ben, and not Felix, who’s hurt. “The idiot…” Felix starts, then sighs again. Connor hears talking in the background — words that sound like protestations to being called an ‘idiot’ —and something else he can’t place. He realizes it’s coughing — a lot of coughing. 

“God, okay, sorry,’ Felix says. “So, the hospital called me while I was at work because I’m Ben’s emergency contact.” Another sigh. “Ben, being the absolutely stupid, stupid person he is, tried going into work today. I mean, you saw how he was yesterday, right?” Connor had, indeed, and he could immediately see where this was going. “Well, he collapsed while he was taking a group to their table.” There’s a pause. “Yeah, Ben, well you deserve to be embarrassed! I’m sparing no details!” Felix says, his voice directed away from the phone to, Connor’s assuming, Ben. “So, he’s taking this family of five to their table. Apparently, he starts coughing a bunch, gets dizzy, and completely goes down. But because it’s Ben, it couldn’t just be your normal run of the mill collapse. Nope. He grabbed onto a waiter, which of course, startled the waiter. So the waiter dropped their entire tray of food and beverages onto Ben while he went down. It was quite the scene, the way I understand it,” Felix says, and Connor thinks he can hear a smile in Felix’s voice, but then the traces of amusement leave as quick as they came. “So, anyway, his boss called an ambulance. He regained consciousness while he was in the ambulance and is mostly doing fine now,” he continues. “Well, as fine as you can be with pneumonia, I guess. They’re sending him home after his fever comes down. They gave him strict orders to rest,” he says, pointedly, clearly at Ben. “And prescriptions for antibiotics. Anyway, since Ben’s clearly demonstrated his total inability to care for himself, I’m forcing him to stay at my house for a couple of days.”

There’s a pause and Connor tries to process all the information Felix just dumped on him. “Um, okay, yeah, I think it makes sense for him not to be alone,” Connor says, finally.

“Good! I’m glad you think so, because….” Felix’s voice trails off and Connor begins to suspect this call is more than just updating Connor on Ben’s condition.

“Because?” Connor asks, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Well, it’s just that…. I mean, I really need to be at work during the day, you know? And I could take some time off, but I would rather not do that since I already missed an entire week when I had my own flu. So, I was wondering….”

Now it’s Connor’s turn to sigh in exasperation. “You were wondering if I could babysit Ben while you go to work?”

“Babysit,” Felix scoffs. “I mean, I wouldn’t say that. I just….” Felix pauses. “Okay, yeah, fine. I’m asking you to babysit him. I mean… you work from home. It’s a perfect solution.”

Connor wants to say it most certainly is not the perfect solution. But, it’s Felix, and, despite what his actions have shown, Connor really does love him. So, Connor knows he has no choice in the matter.

“Okay,” Connor says, trying not to let his disdain of the situation come through. “You know I will.”

“Thank you,” Felix says, relieved. “He’s trying to fight me on this, but I really think he needs someone with him right now.”

Considering Ben’s continual coughing in the background, Connor would be hard-pressed to disagree.

_____

Connor doesn’t hate Ben; Ben’s affable enough and would never be intentionally cruel enough to warrant any actual hatred. It’s simply that Connor, naturally, gets irritated when Ben borrows money from Felix, or when he asks for a huge favor from Felix that comes down to Ben’s lack of responsibility. A perfect example is last week when Ben begged Felix to help him move houses even though Felix was at the height of his flu. Putting all that aside, though, Ben’s… fine. He knows, though, that if he’s to deepen his relationship with Felix, he has to do more than just tolerate Ben. So he makes a vow to try. It’s just that talking to Ben can have the same effect as drinking a double shot of espresso on an empty stomach – too much at once. Though that’s definitely not the case right now. Right now, the poor guy looks like death and can barely move. Connor is shocked to find he misses Ben’s normal self, but that thought is so absurd, he shuts it down immediately.

Connor had gone over to Felix’s house, using the spare key where he knew Felix kept it hidden. He took a moment to think about how earning back a key to Felix’s house is another step he needs to take in their relationship. He followed Felix’s instructions to make the couch up into a makeshift bed by putting on sheets, blankets, pillows, and a comforter. Then, he’d worked for a couple of hours in what Felix referred to as “Reggie’s Room,” since that’s where he kept his snake, Reggie – though most people would probably refer to it as a home office. When Felix and Ben finally made it back from the hospital, Ben had walked through the door sounding one step away from hacking up a lung. He’d stopped walking after just a couple seconds, apparently needing to catch his breath. Felix had his hand on Ben's back to support him, which Connor thought was reasonable—Ben had been pale and looked as though standing took more energy than he had left. Just when Ben finally seemed close to reaching the relief the couch would provide, he bent forward again in desperate, body-wracking coughs, grasping onto Felix’s arm as if he would collapse without it. Felix held onto him as Ben coughed and coughed, his hand never leaving his back. When Ben finally got enough breath, he finished his harrowing walk to the couch and practically fell into it. 

It’s now been a couple of hours since Ben got settled, and he’s barely had a solid stretch of five minutes without coughing. The couch is a two-piece sectional, which allows enough space for Ben to comfortably stretch out and for Felix to still have plenty of room to sit. Connor is in an armchair. He looks at Felix with knitted brows. “Was the doctor sure Ben was well enough to come home?” he asks.

Connor hates the worry he sees etched in Felix’s features. “Yeah, I mean, I know he sounds bad but the doctor said he’s completely fine to recover at home. But you should’ve seen him trying to walk from the car to the house,” Felix says with a frown and a shake of his head.

“I’m still – I’m still –” Ben tries saying from his place over on the couch, but his words are interrupted by coughs. He clears his throat. “I’m still here. And awake. Don’t - Don’t.” More coughing. “Don’t act like I’m not here,” he manages to finally say.

“Dude, believe me, we’re very well aware you’re awake. Kinda hard to mistake someone for sleeping when they’re violently hacking every three seconds,” Felix says, clearly trying to joke, but Connor still sees the worry in his expression. “But, uh, are you sure you’re okay? I mean, do you need anything?”

“It’s just a cough. You guys are being way too dramatic. I don’t even need to be here,” he says, before, of course, immediately coughing. 

Felix’s body tenses. “It’s not just a fucking cough, you idiot. You have pneumonia. You collapsed.”

Connor has to agree with Felix. While Felix wasn’t the best at taking care of himself when he’d been sick, he’d at least taken time off work and eventually gave into his body’s need for rest. Ben doesn’t seem to realize how reckless he’s been or how sick he actually is. Connor’s astonished that Ben had even made it work at all before he collapsed.

“But I can take care of myself in my own home. I don’t need babysitters –” he seems like he wants to say more, but he launches into another set of coughs so harsh it makes Connor wince in sympathy. 

“Okay,” Connor says, choosing to intervene. “I think everyone needs to chill a bit. Ben, man, you are being an idiot. You couldn’t even make it to the couch on your own, so don’t act like Felix’s gesture– an extremely kind one I might add – is unfounded. But, Felix,” he says, turning to address him. “Maybe go a little bit easier on him, all right? I’m sure he’s exhausted. And stressed. You know he doesn’t have paid sick leave. He did what he thought he had to do,” Connor finishes, making sure his voice is soft.

Felix sighs and throws his head back. “I know. But, just, look at him,” Felix says emphatically, gesturing toward Ben who is, very predictably, coughing. 

“I know you’re worried, sweetheart,” Connor says, feeling his expression soften. “He’s sick, but he’s going to get better with the antibiotics, okay?”

Felix sighs again. “It’s my fault though,” he says.

“What?” Ben asks, and Connor is honestly impressed he made it through the word without a cough. But as soon as he has the thought, Ben begins another session of hacking up a lung. “What do you mean it’s your fault? What the hell dude?” Ben asks, voice rough and weak.                                                                                                                                                  

“What do you mean ‘what do I mean’? I literally got you sick. I spread my stupid germs everywhere and you got the flu because of it,” Felix says, sounding so disheartened Connor feels a pang in his own heart.

Connor wants to point out that it was Ben’s fault that Felix had unintentionally spread his germs. If Ben hadn’t waited until the last possible minute to pack and move out, then Felix never would have even been around him. But, instead, he bites his tongue and watches the two friends as they stare at each other with furrowed brows.

Finally Ben laughs, coughs for a bit, then shakes his head at Felix. “You’re the idiot, dude.”

Felix frowns, then throws a throw pillow at Ben, though it’s more akin to a gentle toss. 

Ben’s features twist in mock outrage. “Felix! How dare you! Here I am, dying, –” he stops, and coughs. “And you attack me!  I thought we were friends. Best friends! You’re totally not inheriting my car after I die –” he coughs some more, though Connor suspects he’s purposefully exaggerating the sounds this time. “Which will be very soon,” Ben finishes, laying a hand on his chest, gaze cast toward the ceiling, dramatically.

“Oh my god, not your ‘98 Toyota Corolla! Ben, I’m telling you right now, if you see the light, you’re taking that thing with you. You’d be doing it a favor.”

Connor smiles as he watches them. He can tell Ben’s exhausted and feeling terrible. But it’s obvious Ben is trying to joke around like normal to make Felix worry less, and that small action alone is enough to make Connor like him a little more – but just a little.

“All right, it’s time for dinner, I think,” Connor announces getting up from the armchair. When Felix’s mom found out about Ben being sick with pneumonia, she made an absurdly large amount of chicken noodle soup that Felix had picked up before coming home. With Ben having lost both of his parents two years ago – his dad to a car accident, and his mom to a heart attack a month later – Connor’s sure Ben is more than appreciative of the gesture.

So, Connor warms up three bowls of soup and the three eat together in the living room to the soundtrack of horrible reality TV and Ben’s incessant coughing.

——

The next day, Felix leaves for work, and Connor is left to spend the day at Felix’s house while Ben recovers on the couch. While Felix slept peacefully throughout the night, Connor was kept awake by Ben’s constant coughing coming from the living room that was still audible even with the door closed. He doesn’t blame Ben – it’s not like he was able to help it, and clearly he suffered way more than Connor. Still, though, Connor finds himself extremely tired with the beginnings of what will surely shape up to be a killer headache. 

He takes a break from writing to check on Ben. He knows Felix, before leaving, had made sure Ben took his first dose of antibiotics. Now that it’s noon, he’s due for another. Ben had been adamant that he didn’t need Connor to remind him to take the pills – that he’d set his own alarm and take them, himself. Connor had heard the alarm go off, but couldn’t be sure Ben actually took the pill. 

He makes his way to the living room and sees Ben under his comforter, softly snoring – his congestion still lingering around from the flu. Ben had fallen asleep with one of his handkerchiefs, his hand still grasping the pale blue cloth with its plaid border. Ben’s nasal congestion had gotten bad last night and he’d needed to blow his nose frequently. Fortunately, Felix had thought to pack plenty of Ben’s new handkerchiefs in the bag of Ben’s belongings. 

Connor sighs and really hopes Ben had taken the antibiotic when the alarm went off because Connor has no interest in waking Ben; sleeping is the only time Ben gets any kind of reprieve from the coughing. But, as Connor counts out the pills from the bottle on the table, he groans. It’s obvious that Ben had turned off the alarm without taking the pill.

Connor gently shakes Ben’s shoulder. “Ben?” Connor mumbles, weakly, before sighing. “Ben!” he shouts.

Ben stirs a little, then groans. He looks up at Connor through bleary eyes and takes a deep breath. Connor is prepared for him to cough, but instead, Ben’s eyes close and his mouth opens slightly before he brings up his hand and desperately starts flailing his handkerchief in front of his face to catch a particularly harsh sneeze.

“Huh-HukkkKSHOOOOO!”

Then the coughs immediately follow. Then the groaning. 

“Why’d you wake me up?” Ben asks, voice so rough and congested, it’s nearly unintelligible. Connor can’t even be mad at the question. He’s sure the rest was well-needed, but he also knows Ben can’t skip an antibiotic.                                    

“You need to take your medication,” Connor says. “You have to have it with food. Do you think you can stomach a couple pieces of toast?” 

Ben immediately scrunches up his nose in apparent disgust. 

“Look, I know you don’t have an appetite. But, I mean, the bottle says you should take it with food… So, that’s what you should probably do?” It comes out as a question, but Connor is not used to being in this position and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Felix had been the first person he’d really taken care of, and that had felt almost natural – as though he was helpless not to take care of Felix. With Ben, though, it’s definitely not natural.

So, he leaves to go and make the toast, anyway. When he comes back, Ben’s back to being fast asleep. Connor repeats the process of nudging and yelling his name. He sets the plate of heavily buttered toast down on Ben’s chest and glares at him until he takes a bite. Ben, possibly too tired to put up any more of a fight, concedes and begins eating the toast, while still lying down. While the sensible parts of Connor’s brain are lighting up, telling him that’s a potentially dangerous situation, the other parts simply choose to ignore all that.

 Connor sits in the armchair and scrolls aimlessly through the Netflix menu until Ben’s eaten all the toast. Connor is pleased to see Ben has finished the toast without choking to death; he has a feeling Felix wouldn’t be thrilled with Connor if that had been the outcome. Connor gives Ben the antibiotic and then makes his way back to Reggie’s room to work on his book.

_____

Connor rubs his temples as he stares at the computer screen, the document still mostly empty even after two hours of trying to type. His headache really is becoming an annoyance. He wants to go lie down in bed. He frowns at the thought. No matter how much sleep he misses, he never lies down in the middle of the afternoon. He’s always able to continue on with work, as normal. He, at most, will go to bed an hour earlier than normal to make up for the missed sleep. But, here he is, daydreaming about how soft and comfortable Felix’s bed would feel against his tired body. He props his elbow up on the desk and takes a moment to rest his aching head in his hand. 

“What’re you doing?” asks a rough, congestion-laden voice.

Connor’s eyes abruptly open, and he’s shocked to find they’d been closed at all. He wonders when Ben came in and how he was able to get so close without Connor ever noticing.

Connor clears his throat, trying to relieve the slight scratchiness he’s starting to feel there. He knows he needs to be better at keeping hydrated – Felix has always told him that he gets too caught up in his writing that he tends to forget to do simple things like eating and drinking water. He’ll get a bottle of water in a few minutes to help with the dryness so that scratchy feeling will go away.

“I’m working, Ben. What are you doing?” Connor asks, then clears his throat again.

Ben has a blanket pulled around his shoulders like a cape. He pulls part of the blanket over his face as he begins to cough harshly. He walks over to a nearby armchair and practically falls into it, where he resumes his coughing fit. Connor watches, not able to hold back a wince in sympathy. When Ben finally looks up, there’s tears streaming down his face that he uses the blanket to wipe up. “Holy crap,” Ben starts. “I was going to say I’m feeling better, but … fuck.”

“You’re going to have to give the meds a little more time to work, I think,” Connor says with a sympathetic smile.

Ben rubs his nose, then stretches. “Ugh, all I’ve been doing is sleeping. I’m bored.”

“Ah, well I hate to tell you, you’re not going to get much entertainment from me,” Connor says, gaze fixed back on the computer. “I’m trying to focus on a new project.”

“Okay, well, to me, it looked more like you were trying to take a nap,” Ben says.

Connor wants to glare, but his head hurts too much. “I wasn’t taking a nap. I was just resting my eyes while trying to think.”

Ben sighs, then coughs. “Well, I just think, if I’m going to be imprisoned here, someone should, at least, keep me company.”

Connor has enough energy to roll his eyes. “You’re not imprisoned. Felix is doing you a favor. And, if he hadn’t, I might add, you definitely would’ve missed your dose of antibiotics.”

Ben coughs some more, then glares. “I would’ve taken them eventually,” he says.

Connor hums. “I’m not so sure,” he says, turning his attention back to the document with the intent to ignore Ben until he goes away, which past evidence has proved effective half the time. Connor realizes, though, that this is not going to be one of those times because Ben’s pulling up an armchair.

“So….” Ben begins. “You and Felix are really back together then?”

Connor blinks, then takes a deep breath before slowly letting it out. “Yeah, Ben. We are,” he says, trying to keep bitterness from seeping into his tone because this isn’t any of Ben’s business. 

“Hmm…” Ben hums, then starts coughing violently into his blanket.

“Oh my god, Ben” Connor groans. “Are you really just going to keep bugging me while I work? I mean, I have a lot of other pressing matters to be doing that don’t involve listening to you hack up your lungs.”

Ben holds up a finger as if to indicate he’ll only be hacking up his lungs for another minute or so. 

Connor sighs and looks back at his document. He has absolutely no ideas about what he’s writing, but he starts typing random sentences to give the impression he’s at least doing something. 

“Listen,” Ben says, voice raspy from the coughing. “Felix is my best friend.”

Connor stares at him because surely that statement of fact isn’t going to be all Ben says. But, apparently it is because Ben goes back to coughing.

Connor finds himself rolling his eyes yet again – a gesture not at all uncommon in the presence of Ben. “Okay, man, you’re sick. Go back to your gross little sick nest on the couch and get some more rest.”

“I don’t feel that sick. It’s just this stupid cough,” Ben says, then goes back to demonstrating what exactly the “stupid cough” sounds like. 

“Well, Ben, you look and sound like shit, so….” Connor trails off, hoping Ben will get irritated with Connor and just leave. But, Ben continues sitting there, staring aimlessly at Connor’s laptop. “Okay, fine. You obviously want to talk about this,” Connor says, turning to address Ben directly. “Yes, Felix and I are back together. Yes, I know you two are best friends and I put you in a tough position when I left. I know you were still grieving the loss of your parents, and then I left Felix a broken mess for you to deal with. And I’m sorry, Ben. I shouldn’t have left, okay? And Felix and I have already discussed all of this in great length, and he’s willing to give me another chance, and honestly, Ben, Felix’s opinion is all that really matters.”

There’s a long moment of silence where even Ben’s coughs don’t interrupt. “Felix is…. He’s just really easy to take advantage of, okay?”

Connor raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, Ben, he is, isn’t he?” Connor knows the accusatory tone in his voice is unmistakable. 

Ben sighs, then averts his gaze. “Yeah, okay, fair. But, I’ve literally known him since I was in preschool, Connor. As far as I’m concerned, he’s my brother. And we take advantage of each other. With me and Felix, it’s very give and take. But with you…. You knew him for a year and –” Connor doesn’t break Ben’s gaze as Ben coughs into his blanket. He figures they’re finally doing this, and it probably needs to be done, regardless of how Connor feels about it. “It just destroyed him, okay? And now that you’re back… Of course he’s going to welcome you back because he’s Felix – that’s what he does.”

Connor wants to vehemently disagree, but… he can’t. These are, after all, echoes of Connor’s own concerns. He rubs his temples at the ever progressing headache. “Yeah, Ben, okay, I know. I know I don’t deserve his forgiveness as easily as he’s giving it. I’m doing everything I can to show I care about him and that I am sorry , but … it’s just going to take time. I mean, I have all sorts of stuff planned for us. I’d actually planned to take him out to dinner tonight, but then someone had to go and get pneumonia, so…” Connor says, offering a slight smile, hoping Ben takes latches onto the lighter edge of the conversation, and is grateful when he does.

“Hey, you two can still totally go out to dinner. I’m more than happy to go home,” Ben says.

Connor looks at Ben as Ben ducks his head back into the crook of his blanket to cough. ‘No, Ben…. I’m with Felix. You really shouldn’t be alone right now. If we don’t keep an eye on you, you’re likely to take even more waiters down with you when you collapse again,” Connor says, only half joking. 

Ben rolls his eyes. “Whatever,” he says, as he shifts in the armchair, resting his face against it. “I’m tired,” Ben says, closing his eyes.

Connor smiles. “I thought you were feeling okay, except for the ‘stupid cough’?”

“I was, but talking to you has exhausted me. Ugh, that’s how boring you are, Connor. Look what you’ve done to me,” he mumbles, eyes still closed.

“Right. And the fact that your lungs are having to work overtime just to keep you breathing has nothing to do with the exhaustion.”

“‘Xactly,” Ben murmurs into the armchair, looking as though he’s about to drift off right there.

Connor supposes he doesn’t mind, as long as he’s finally quiet. Connor rubs his temples again and thinks about how he may actually have to take something for his headache. He remembers he also really needs to get that water because his throat is definitely protesting at the dryness back there. He feels a deep tickle in the back of his nose that he tries to rub away. He succeeds, but just for a moment.

“Hih-p’tshiewww!” 

Connor frowns – not because he sneezed. He sneezes every now and then like everyone else. No, he’s concerned because he wasn’t able to cover it. He grimaces at the spray left behind on the computer screen. 

“Uh-oh,” Ben says, his eyes finally open.

Connor shakes his head slightly before turning to face Ben. “What do you mean ‘uh-oh’?”

“I just mean, you know, ‘uh-oh,” Ben says with a shrug. “Because sneezes are, you know, a classic harbinger to a cold. Or to something worse.” 

Connor narrows his eyes. “They’re not always harbingers of anything, Ben.”

Ben just shrugs again. “Yeah, true. I just mean, it seems like a lot of stuff is going around right now. But as long as you’re feeling fine, or whatever, I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“It’s definitely nothing,” Connor says, perhaps too quickly because the corners of Ben’s mouth twitch.

“Ah…. I remember saying something similar six-ish days ago,” Ben says, mouth now in a full grin. “And look at me now,” he says, gesturing to himself as he begins another horrific fit of coughing.

Connor's lips turn up in disgust. “Ben, don’t… Don’t even imply that it's possible for me to reach the state you’re currently in.” He feels that odd tickle again deep in his sinuses. He rubs his nose slightly. Then –

“Hih-p’tshiiieeeeww!” 

He stares at his hand that is now covered in wetness. What the hell? his brain chimes in, warning bells internally flashing all over the place. There’s a box of tissues right next to him. How did the urge to sneeze come on so quickly and urgently that he had to resort to sneezing on the back of his hand?

Ben laughs next to him. “Yeah, man, like I said. Uh-oh. I’ve gotta say, though, your attempt at denial here is admirable, but….” he trails off, grin still wicked.

“Ben, shut up,” Connor says, but it lacks severity. His mind is too busy spinning. They were just sneezes…. Two measly sneezes.

Not measly, the reasonable part of his mind interjects. And what about your headache? And your scratchy throat?

Connor frowns deeply, then shakes his head. There has been a lot of nasty stuff going around. So, maybe it’s possible it’s now his turn. He figures he is probably due for a little case of the sniffles since it’s been five or six years at this point. He’s more than capable of handling a cold, so he really shouldn’t spend any amount of time worrying about this. He looks at Ben, who is clearly on the verge of falling asleep, his face pressed against the armchair, his eyes closed. Connor feels an odd surge of envy that Ben gets to sleep, which he quickly realizes is an odd thing to be envious of. It’s not like Connor wants to go to sleep. He’s a little tired, but he never naps. He turns back to his computer to continue working on … he doesn’t even know what it is. It has no title, no premise, nothing. He rubs his temples, then quickly gives a shake of his head as if in effort to ward off the fuzziness taking root in it. 

He’s fine – just maybe coming down with a cold. An innocuous cold that he’s sure he can fend off with no problem. He’ll just go to bed early tonight and nip it in the bud before it can even start.  
 

[dwaekki]

It makes me happy to see Connor be so willing to change and adapt for Felix I hope that his and Ben's relationship only strengthens and that they can learn to trust each other again 

I'm very excited to see Felix's reaction to Connor's sneezes and maybe some more sneezes of his own- I imagine him being a relatively sneezy person even outside of any illness. Bless him for feeling so bad about passing the flu onto Ben, he's such a kind soul.

Very much looking forward to more, I can't wait for the next chapter 🥰

[ichixshiro14]

And so it begins, yessss!! I love how you've written Connor and Ben both caring about Felix in their own way and trying to get the other to be better to him. I absolutely cannot wait for the infallible Connor to come crashing down 😈😈😈 If he gets Annie's cold, Felix might get sick again, his immune system vulnerable after that bout of flu. If he gets Felix's flu (although, if he's getting it now, it would be from Ben), he's going to be hit sooo hard ❤️❤️❤️ Both options are amazing haha. Thanks for the wonderful update!! 

[Rainbow]

1 hour ago, GraySkies said:

The next part is ready. Yay 🥳I will say, though, there still isn't much sneezing. I promise, I'm not just posing as a sneeze fetishist 😅 They will come, I promise. A lot of this is just character development and plot setup stuff. Sorry, but it needs to be done lol. I'm really trying to explore these characters and this part really helped me get to know them a little better. There is, still, some caretaking though. In the form of Connor taking care of Ben, so I should say reluctant caretaking. But, caretaking, nonetheless. Okay, now I'm going to respond to a few replies. Feel free to skip straight to the story if you'd prefer.

@AceUpYourSleeve So glad I am good company with wanting Connor to just absolutely suffer 😅

@ichixshiro14 Thanks for your comment!! Vulnerable Connor is coming! Just, not so much in this part. Oops. Sorry, again.

@Readen Omg, first of all, thanks for validating my account! I thought I would be in pending limbo for eternity. I can't wait to finally have the ability to edit! But, also, thanks for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment! It was really fulfilling to reach my writing goal and to realize I am capable of finishing something, as long as I don't put too much pressure on myself and write things I personally get satisfaction from. I'm thrilled you think the characters are decently-developed. I'm finding that fleshing out these characters IS pretty difficult without writing 100,000 words so I greatly appreciate you telling me their personalities are still coming through! Oh, and in regards to your comment about Ben and the "interesting night" -- I did actually have some plans in mind for that that I may or may not fulfill. I definitely want to give Ben his own story one day because he deserves a nice happy romance (because his life is honestly pretty rough), and I've considered incorporating some elements from that night as a starter, but... we'll see lol. Thanks again for the nice comment! 

________

Connor spends the next day in his own apartment, working on a new writing project. He finds himself thinking of Felix's small house and its cozy warmth that his own place simply does not have. Felix’s home is full of colorful rugs scattered across the floors, their vibrant patterns bringing the house to life. A variety of houseplants fill the corners of every room, every bookshelf, and every windowsill. One could say Felix’s house has too many houseplants, but that’s not something he’ll ever tell Felix. Felix has collected a multitude of lamps in different shapes, colors, and sizes from thrift stores over the years, their soft, golden light lending the house a comforting ambiance.  Felix’s entire personality spills out into his home. Connor wants to blame the sterile atmosphere of his own home — though, calling it a ‘home’ is generous — on only having recently moved back into town. He knows, though, that’s not the truth; he’s never been one to care much for decorating or owning anything frivolous. 

Even before Connor left for New York, back when he and Felix had a thriving relationship, he never felt comfortable working at Felix's house without Felix there. It felt like he didn’t belong there, as though he were invading the house with his unwelcome presence. So, once Felix left for work, Connor would drive back to his own apartment. He realizes now that those were signs of his fear—fear of letting himself get too comfortable, of accepting a life he was terrified to lose.
He wants to show Felix that he’s committed to their relationship and isn’t going to run away again. But he knows that will take time, and what they have right now is so fragile. It’s too early to suggest moving in with Felix, but he thinks that’s what he wants to do, which is honestly a place he’d never think he’d reach. He’ll discuss everything with his therapist, but he thinks maybe slowly spending more time in Felix’s home without Felix will be good for them both. He makes a mental note to bring the subject up to Felix.

After a few hours of getting, essentially, nothing done, Connor receives an alarming text.

Felix: I’m at the hospital with Ben. Are you free for a call?

Connor stares at the text for a moment, his heart pounding and nausea building while his thoughts pile on top of each other. Finally, after getting in a long, deep breath, he calls Felix, the phone shaking in his hand.

“Are you okay?” Connor asks, surprised to hear his voice tremble.

Connor doesn’t expect Felix to sigh, but that’s what he does. “Yeah. I’m fine. But it’s stupid, freaking Ben,” he says with a mixture of irritation and tenderness that tends to only come out when he talks about Ben. Connor hates himself for how his heart settles at hearing it’s Ben, and not Felix, who’s hurt. “The idiot…” Felix starts, then sighs again. Connor hears talking in the background — words that sound like protestations to being called an ‘idiot’ —and something else he can’t place. He realizes it’s coughing — a lot of coughing. 

“God, okay, sorry,’ Felix says. “So, the hospital called me while I was at work because I’m Ben’s emergency contact.” Another sigh. “Ben, being the absolutely stupid, stupid person he is, tried going into work today. I mean, you saw how he was yesterday, right?” Connor had, indeed, and he could immediately see where this was going. “Well, he collapsed while he was taking a group to their table.” There’s a pause. “Yeah, Ben, well you deserve to be embarrassed! I’m sparing no details!” Felix says, his voice directed away from the phone to, Connor’s assuming, Ben. “So, he’s taking this family of five to their table. Apparently, he starts coughing a bunch, gets dizzy, and completely goes down. But because it’s Ben, it couldn’t just be your normal run of the mill collapse. Nope. He grabbed onto a waiter, which of course, startled the waiter. So the waiter dropped their entire tray of food and beverages onto Ben while he went down. It was quite the scene, the way I understand it,” Felix says, and Connor thinks he can hear a smile in Felix’s voice, but then the traces of amusement leave as quick as they came. “So, anyway, his boss called an ambulance. He regained consciousness while he was in the ambulance and is mostly doing fine now,” he continues. “Well, as fine as you can be with pneumonia, I guess. They’re sending him home after his fever comes down. They gave him strict orders to rest,” he says, pointedly, clearly at Ben. “And prescriptions for antibiotics. Anyway, since Ben’s clearly demonstrated his total inability to care for himself, I’m forcing him to stay at my house for a couple of days.”

There’s a pause and Connor tries to process all the information Felix just dumped on him. “Um, okay, yeah, I think it makes sense for him not to be alone,” Connor says, finally.

“Good! I’m glad you think so, because….” Felix’s voice trails off and Connor begins to suspect this call is more than just updating Connor on Ben’s condition.

“Because?” Connor asks, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Well, it’s just that…. I mean, I really need to be at work during the day, you know? And I could take some time off, but I would rather not do that since I already missed an entire week when I had my own flu. So, I was wondering….”

Now it’s Connor’s turn to sigh in exasperation. “You were wondering if I could babysit Ben while you go to work?”

“Babysit,” Felix scoffs. “I mean, I wouldn’t say that. I just….” Felix pauses. “Okay, yeah, fine. I’m asking you to babysit him. I mean… you work from home. It’s a perfect solution.”

Connor wants to say it most certainly is not the perfect solution. But, it’s Felix, and, despite what his actions have shown, Connor really does love him. So, Connor knows he has no choice in the matter.

“Okay,” Connor says, trying not to let his disdain of the situation come through. “You know I will.”

“Thank you,” Felix says, relieved. “He’s trying to fight me on this, but I really think he needs someone with him right now.”

Considering Ben’s continual coughing in the background, Connor would be hard-pressed to disagree.

_____

Connor doesn’t hate Ben; Ben’s affable enough and would never be intentionally cruel enough to warrant any actual hatred. It’s simply that Connor, naturally, gets irritated when Ben borrows money from Felix, or when he asks for a huge favor from Felix that comes down to Ben’s lack of responsibility. A perfect example is last week when Ben begged Felix to help him move houses even though Felix was at the height of his flu. Putting all that aside, though, Ben’s… fine. He knows, though, that if he’s to deepen his relationship with Felix, he has to do more than just tolerate Ben. So he makes a vow to try. It’s just that talking to Ben can have the same effect as drinking a double shot of espresso on an empty stomach – too much at once. Though that’s definitely not the case right now. Right now, the poor guy looks like death and can barely move. Connor is shocked to find he misses Ben’s normal self, but that thought is so absurd, he shuts it down immediately.

Connor had gone over to Felix’s house, using the spare key where he knew Felix kept it hidden. He took a moment to think about how earning back a key to Felix’s house is another step he needs to take in their relationship. He followed Felix’s instructions to make the couch up into a makeshift bed by putting on sheets, blankets, pillows, and a comforter. Then, he’d worked for a couple of hours in what Felix referred to as “Reggie’s Room,” since that’s where he kept his snake, Reggie – though most people would probably refer to it as a home office. When Felix and Ben finally made it back from the hospital, Ben had walked through the door sounding one step away from hacking up a lung. He’d stopped walking after just a couple seconds, apparently needing to catch his breath. Felix had his hand on Ben's back to support him, which Connor thought was reasonable—Ben had been pale and looked as though standing took more energy than he had left. Just when Ben finally seemed close to reaching the relief the couch would provide, he bent forward again in desperate, body-wracking coughs, grasping onto Felix’s arm as if he would collapse without it. Felix held onto him as Ben coughed and coughed, his hand never leaving his back. When Ben finally got enough breath, he finished his harrowing walk to the couch and practically fell into it. 

It’s now been a couple of hours since Ben got settled, and he’s barely had a solid stretch of five minutes without coughing. The couch is a two-piece sectional, which allows enough space for Ben to comfortably stretch out and for Felix to still have plenty of room to sit. Connor is in an armchair. He looks at Felix with knitted brows. “Was the doctor sure Ben was well enough to come home?” he asks.

Connor hates the worry he sees etched in Felix’s features. “Yeah, I mean, I know he sounds bad but the doctor said he’s completely fine to recover at home. But you should’ve seen him trying to walk from the car to the house,” Felix says with a frown and a shake of his head.

“I’m still – I’m still –” Ben tries saying from his place over on the couch, but his words are interrupted by coughs. He clears his throat. “I’m still here. And awake. Don’t - Don’t.” More coughing. “Don’t act like I’m not here,” he manages to finally say.

“Dude, believe me, we’re very well aware you’re awake. Kinda hard to mistake someone for sleeping when they’re violently hacking every three seconds,” Felix says, clearly trying to joke, but Connor still sees the worry in his expression. “But, uh, are you sure you’re okay? I mean, do you need anything?”

“It’s just a cough. You guys are being way too dramatic. I don’t even need to be here,” he says, before, of course, immediately coughing. 

Felix’s body tenses. “It’s not just a fucking cough, you idiot. You have pneumonia. You collapsed.”

Connor has to agree with Felix. While Felix wasn’t the best at taking care of himself when he’d been sick, he’d at least taken time off work and eventually gave into his body’s need for rest. Ben doesn’t seem to realize how reckless he’s been or how sick he actually is. Connor’s astonished that Ben had even made it work at all before he collapsed.

“But I can take care of myself in my own home. I don’t need babysitters –” he seems like he wants to say more, but he launches into another set of coughs so harsh it makes Connor wince in sympathy. 

“Okay,” Connor says, choosing to intervene. “I think everyone needs to chill a bit. Ben, man, you are being an idiot. You couldn’t even make it to the couch on your own, so don’t act like Felix’s gesture– an extremely kind one I might add – is unfounded. But, Felix,” he says, turning to address him. “Maybe go a little bit easier on him, all right? I’m sure he’s exhausted. And stressed. You know he doesn’t have paid sick leave. He did what he thought he had to do,” Connor finishes, making sure his voice is soft.

Felix sighs and throws his head back. “I know. But, just, look at him,” Felix says emphatically, gesturing toward Ben who is, very predictably, coughing. 

“I know you’re worried, sweetheart,” Connor says, feeling his expression soften. “He’s sick, but he’s going to get better with the antibiotics, okay?”

Felix sighs again. “It’s my fault though,” he says.

“What?” Ben asks, and Connor is honestly impressed he made it through the word without a cough. But as soon as he has the thought, Ben begins another session of hacking up a lung. “What do you mean it’s your fault? What the hell dude?” Ben asks, voice rough and weak.                                                                                                                                                  

“What do you mean ‘what do I mean’? I literally got you sick. I spread my stupid germs everywhere and you got the flu because of it,” Felix says, sounding so disheartened Connor feels a pang in his own heart.

Connor wants to point out that it was Ben’s fault that Felix had unintentionally spread his germs. If Ben hadn’t waited until the last possible minute to pack and move out, then Felix never would have even been around him. But, instead, he bites his tongue and watches the two friends as they stare at each other with furrowed brows.

Finally Ben laughs, coughs for a bit, then shakes his head at Felix. “You’re the idiot, dude.”

Felix frowns, then throws a throw pillow at Ben, though it’s more akin to a gentle toss. 

Ben’s features twist in mock outrage. “Felix! How dare you! Here I am, dying, –” he stops, and coughs. “And you attack me!  I thought we were friends. Best friends! You’re totally not inheriting my car after I die –” he coughs some more, though Connor suspects he’s purposefully exaggerating the sounds this time. “Which will be very soon,” Ben finishes, laying a hand on his chest, gaze cast toward the ceiling, dramatically.

“Oh my god, not your ‘98 Toyota Corolla! Ben, I’m telling you right now, if you see the light, you’re taking that thing with you. You’d be doing it a favor.”

Connor smiles as he watches them. He can tell Ben’s exhausted and feeling terrible. But it’s obvious Ben is trying to joke around like normal to make Felix worry less, and that small action alone is enough to make Connor like him a little more – but just a little.

“All right, it’s time for dinner, I think,” Connor announces getting up from the armchair. When Felix’s mom found out about Ben being sick with pneumonia, she made an absurdly large amount of chicken noodle soup that Felix had picked up before coming home. With Ben having lost both of his parents two years ago – his dad to a car accident, and his mom to a heart attack a month later – Connor’s sure Ben is more than appreciative of the gesture.

So, Connor warms up three bowls of soup and the three eat together in the living room to the soundtrack of horrible reality TV and Ben’s incessant coughing.

——

The next day, Felix leaves for work, and Connor is left to spend the day at Felix’s house while Ben recovers on the couch. While Felix slept peacefully throughout the night, Connor was kept awake by Ben’s constant coughing coming from the living room that was still audible even with the door closed. He doesn’t blame Ben – it’s not like he was able to help it, and clearly he suffered way more than Connor. Still, though, Connor finds himself extremely tired with the beginnings of what will surely shape up to be a killer headache. 

He takes a break from writing to check on Ben. He knows Felix, before leaving, had made sure Ben took his first dose of antibiotics. Now that it’s noon, he’s due for another. Ben had been adamant that he didn’t need Connor to remind him to take the pills – that he’d set his own alarm and take them, himself. Connor had heard the alarm go off, but couldn’t be sure Ben actually took the pill. 

He makes his way to the living room and sees Ben under his comforter, softly snoring – his congestion still lingering around from the flu. Ben had fallen asleep with one of his handkerchiefs, his hand still grasping the pale blue cloth with its plaid border. Ben’s nasal congestion had gotten bad last night and he’d needed to blow his nose frequently. Fortunately, Felix had thought to pack plenty of Ben’s new handkerchiefs in the bag of Ben’s belongings. 

Connor sighs and really hopes Ben had taken the antibiotic when the alarm went off because Connor has no interest in waking Ben; sleeping is the only time Ben gets any kind of reprieve from the coughing. But, as Connor counts out the pills from the bottle on the table, he groans. It’s obvious that Ben had turned off the alarm without taking the pill.

Connor gently shakes Ben’s shoulder. “Ben?” Connor mumbles, weakly, before sighing. “Ben!” he shouts.

Ben stirs a little, then groans. He looks up at Connor through bleary eyes and takes a deep breath. Connor is prepared for him to cough, but instead, Ben’s eyes close and his mouth opens slightly before he brings up his hand and desperately starts flailing his handkerchief in front of his face to catch a particularly harsh sneeze.

“Huh-HukkkKSHOOOOO!”

Then the coughs immediately follow. Then the groaning. 

“Why’d you wake me up?” Ben asks, voice so rough and congested, it’s nearly unintelligible. Connor can’t even be mad at the question. He’s sure the rest was well-needed, but he also knows Ben can’t skip an antibiotic.                                    

“You need to take your medication,” Connor says. “You have to have it with food. Do you think you can stomach a couple pieces of toast?” 

Ben immediately scrunches up his nose in apparent disgust. 

“Look, I know you don’t have an appetite. But, I mean, the bottle says you should take it with food… So, that’s what you should probably do?” It comes out as a question, but Connor is not used to being in this position and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Felix had been the first person he’d really taken care of, and that had felt almost natural – as though he was helpless not to take care of Felix. With Ben, though, it’s definitely not natural.

So, he leaves to go and make the toast, anyway. When he comes back, Ben’s back to being fast asleep. Connor repeats the process of nudging and yelling his name. He sets the plate of heavily buttered toast down on Ben’s chest and glares at him until he takes a bite. Ben, possibly too tired to put up any more of a fight, concedes and begins eating the toast, while still lying down. While the sensible parts of Connor’s brain are lighting up, telling him that’s a potentially dangerous situation, the other parts simply choose to ignore all that.

 Connor sits in the armchair and scrolls aimlessly through the Netflix menu until Ben’s eaten all the toast. Connor is pleased to see Ben has finished the toast without choking to death; he has a feeling Felix wouldn’t be thrilled with Connor if that had been the outcome. Connor gives Ben the antibiotic and then makes his way back to Reggie’s room to work on his book.

_____

Connor rubs his temples as he stares at the computer screen, the document still mostly empty even after two hours of trying to type. His headache really is becoming an annoyance. He wants to go lie down in bed. He frowns at the thought. No matter how much sleep he misses, he never lies down in the middle of the afternoon. He’s always able to continue on with work, as normal. He, at most, will go to bed an hour earlier than normal to make up for the missed sleep. But, here he is, daydreaming about how soft and comfortable Felix’s bed would feel against his tired body. He props his elbow up on the desk and takes a moment to rest his aching head in his hand. 

“What’re you doing?” asks a rough, congestion-laden voice.

Connor’s eyes abruptly open, and he’s shocked to find they’d been closed at all. He wonders when Ben came in and how he was able to get so close without Connor ever noticing.

Connor clears his throat, trying to relieve the slight scratchiness he’s starting to feel there. He knows he needs to be better at keeping hydrated – Felix has always told him that he gets too caught up in his writing that he tends to forget to do simple things like eating and drinking water. He’ll get a bottle of water in a few minutes to help with the dryness so that scratchy feeling will go away.

“I’m working, Ben. What are you doing?” Connor asks, then clears his throat again.

Ben has a blanket pulled around his shoulders like a cape. He pulls part of the blanket over his face as he begins to cough harshly. He walks over to a nearby armchair and practically falls into it, where he resumes his coughing fit. Connor watches, not able to hold back a wince in sympathy. When Ben finally looks up, there’s tears streaming down his face that he uses the blanket to wipe up. “Holy crap,” Ben starts. “I was going to say I’m feeling better, but … fuck.”

“You’re going to have to give the meds a little more time to work, I think,” Connor says with a sympathetic smile.

Ben rubs his nose, then stretches. “Ugh, all I’ve been doing is sleeping. I’m bored.”

“Ah, well I hate to tell you, you’re not going to get much entertainment from me,” Connor says, gaze fixed back on the computer. “I’m trying to focus on a new project.”

“Okay, well, to me, it looked more like you were trying to take a nap,” Ben says.

Connor wants to glare, but his head hurts too much. “I wasn’t taking a nap. I was just resting my eyes while trying to think.”

Ben sighs, then coughs. “Well, I just think, if I’m going to be imprisoned here, someone should, at least, keep me company.”

Connor has enough energy to roll his eyes. “You’re not imprisoned. Felix is doing you a favor. And, if he hadn’t, I might add, you definitely would’ve missed your dose of antibiotics.”

Ben coughs some more, then glares. “I would’ve taken them eventually,” he says.

Connor hums. “I’m not so sure,” he says, turning his attention back to the document with the intent to ignore Ben until he goes away, which past evidence has proved effective half the time. Connor realizes, though, that this is not going to be one of those times because Ben’s pulling up an armchair.

“So….” Ben begins. “You and Felix are really back together then?”

Connor blinks, then takes a deep breath before slowly letting it out. “Yeah, Ben. We are,” he says, trying to keep bitterness from seeping into his tone because this isn’t any of Ben’s business. 

“Hmm…” Ben hums, then starts coughing violently into his blanket.

“Oh my god, Ben” Connor groans. “Are you really just going to keep bugging me while I work? I mean, I have a lot of other pressing matters to be doing that don’t involve listening to you hack up your lungs.”

Ben holds up a finger as if to indicate he’ll only be hacking up his lungs for another minute or so. 

Connor sighs and looks back at his document. He has absolutely no ideas about what he’s writing, but he starts typing random sentences to give the impression he’s at least doing something. 

“Listen,” Ben says, voice raspy from the coughing. “Felix is my best friend.”

Connor stares at him because surely that statement of fact isn’t going to be all Ben says. But, apparently it is because Ben goes back to coughing.

Connor finds himself rolling his eyes yet again – a gesture not at all uncommon in the presence of Ben. “Okay, man, you’re sick. Go back to your gross little sick nest on the couch and get some more rest.”

“I don’t feel that sick. It’s just this stupid cough,” Ben says, then goes back to demonstrating what exactly the “stupid cough” sounds like. 

“Well, Ben, you look and sound like shit, so….” Connor trails off, hoping Ben will get irritated with Connor and just leave. But, Ben continues sitting there, staring aimlessly at Connor’s laptop. “Okay, fine. You obviously want to talk about this,” Connor says, turning to address Ben directly. “Yes, Felix and I are back together. Yes, I know you two are best friends and I put you in a tough position when I left. I know you were still grieving the loss of your parents, and then I left Felix a broken mess for you to deal with. And I’m sorry, Ben. I shouldn’t have left, okay? And Felix and I have already discussed all of this in great length, and he’s willing to give me another chance, and honestly, Ben, Felix’s opinion is all that really matters.”

There’s a long moment of silence where even Ben’s coughs don’t interrupt. “Felix is…. He’s just really easy to take advantage of, okay?”

Connor raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, Ben, he is, isn’t he?” Connor knows the accusatory tone in his voice is unmistakable. 

Ben sighs, then averts his gaze. “Yeah, okay, fair. But, I’ve literally known him since I was in preschool, Connor. As far as I’m concerned, he’s my brother. And we take advantage of each other. With me and Felix, it’s very give and take. But with you…. You knew him for a year and –” Connor doesn’t break Ben’s gaze as Ben coughs into his blanket. He figures they’re finally doing this, and it probably needs to be done, regardless of how Connor feels about it. “It just destroyed him, okay? And now that you’re back… Of course he’s going to welcome you back because he’s Felix – that’s what he does.”

Connor wants to vehemently disagree, but… he can’t. These are, after all, echoes of Connor’s own concerns. He rubs his temples at the ever progressing headache. “Yeah, Ben, okay, I know. I know I don’t deserve his forgiveness as easily as he’s giving it. I’m doing everything I can to show I care about him and that I am sorry , but … it’s just going to take time. I mean, I have all sorts of stuff planned for us. I’d actually planned to take him out to dinner tonight, but then someone had to go and get pneumonia, so…” Connor says, offering a slight smile, hoping Ben takes latches onto the lighter edge of the conversation, and is grateful when he does.

“Hey, you two can still totally go out to dinner. I’m more than happy to go home,” Ben says.

Connor looks at Ben as Ben ducks his head back into the crook of his blanket to cough. ‘No, Ben…. I’m with Felix. You really shouldn’t be alone right now. If we don’t keep an eye on you, you’re likely to take even more waiters down with you when you collapse again,” Connor says, only half joking. 

Ben rolls his eyes. “Whatever,” he says, as he shifts in the armchair, resting his face against it. “I’m tired,” Ben says, closing his eyes.

Connor smiles. “I thought you were feeling okay, except for the ‘stupid cough’?”

“I was, but talking to you has exhausted me. Ugh, that’s how boring you are, Connor. Look what you’ve done to me,” he mumbles, eyes still closed.

“Right. And the fact that your lungs are having to work overtime just to keep you breathing has nothing to do with the exhaustion.”

“‘Xactly,” Ben murmurs into the armchair, looking as though he’s about to drift off right there.

Connor supposes he doesn’t mind, as long as he’s finally quiet. Connor rubs his temples again and thinks about how he may actually have to take something for his headache. He remembers he also really needs to get that water because his throat is definitely protesting at the dryness back there. He feels a deep tickle in the back of his nose that he tries to rub away. He succeeds, but just for a moment.

“Hih-p’tshiewww!” 

Connor frowns – not because he sneezed. He sneezes every now and then like everyone else. No, he’s concerned because he wasn’t able to cover it. He grimaces at the spray left behind on the computer screen. 

“Uh-oh,” Ben says, his eyes finally open.

Connor shakes his head slightly before turning to face Ben. “What do you mean ‘uh-oh’?”

“I just mean, you know, ‘uh-oh,” Ben says with a shrug. “Because sneezes are, you know, a classic harbinger to a cold. Or to something worse.” 

Connor narrows his eyes. “They’re not always harbingers of anything, Ben.”

Ben just shrugs again. “Yeah, true. I just mean, it seems like a lot of stuff is going around right now. But as long as you’re feeling fine, or whatever, I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“It’s definitely nothing,” Connor says, perhaps too quickly because the corners of Ben’s mouth twitch.

“Ah…. I remember saying something similar six-ish days ago,” Ben says, mouth now in a full grin. “And look at me now,” he says, gesturing to himself as he begins another horrific fit of coughing.

Connor's lips turn up in disgust. “Ben, don’t… Don’t even imply that it's possible for me to reach the state you’re currently in.” He feels that odd tickle again deep in his sinuses. He rubs his nose slightly. Then –

“Hih-p’tshiiieeeeww!” 

He stares at his hand that is now covered in wetness. What the hell? his brain chimes in, warning bells internally flashing all over the place. There’s a box of tissues right next to him. How did the urge to sneeze come on so quickly and urgently that he had to resort to sneezing on the back of his hand?

Ben laughs next to him. “Yeah, man, like I said. Uh-oh. I’ve gotta say, though, your attempt at denial here is admirable, but….” he trails off, grin still wicked.

“Ben, shut up,” Connor says, but it lacks severity. His mind is too busy spinning. They were just sneezes…. Two measly sneezes.

Not measly, the reasonable part of his mind interjects. And what about your headache? And your scratchy throat?

Connor frowns deeply, then shakes his head. There has been a lot of nasty stuff going around. So, maybe it’s possible it’s now his turn. He figures he is probably due for a little case of the sniffles since it’s been five or six years at this point. He’s more than capable of handling a cold, so he really shouldn’t spend any amount of time worrying about this. He looks at Ben, who is clearly on the verge of falling asleep, his face pressed against the armchair, his eyes closed. Connor feels an odd surge of envy that Ben gets to sleep, which he quickly realizes is an odd thing to be envious of. It’s not like Connor wants to go to sleep. He’s a little tired, but he never naps. He turns back to his computer to continue working on … he doesn’t even know what it is. It has no title, no premise, nothing. He rubs his temples, then quickly gives a shake of his head as if in effort to ward off the fuzziness taking root in it. 

He’s fine – just maybe coming down with a cold. An innocuous cold that he’s sure he can fend off with no problem. He’ll just go to bed early tonight and nip it in the bud before it can even start.  
 

😍 Perfect chapter! You are so good in describing Connors thoughts and feelings. Don't worry about the word count and I agree, you are definitely not the only one who wants to see Connor at the mercy of his cold/flu 🤭 I love how you described his surprise about the kind of the sneezes. Nice and exciting to also get interaction between Connor and Ben, but poor Ben 🥺 he is so sick and vulnerable and then there is Connor who takes care but despises it... I am so looking forward for the next chapter! ☺️ For the further dynamics between the characters and of course how Felix and Connor will react with Connor getting and being sick. Oh and don't be sorry that it's not all about sneezes, you are doing perfectly fine with writing an actual story with character development, plots, caretaking, emotions and everything and I am sure a lot of people enjoy 😊

[funbusej]

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN

[RipleyToo]

I also can’t wait until Felix experiences Conner’s sneezes! Will Conner’s sneezes become louder, wetter and more harsh as this cold is brewing? I loved the part where Ben is like “uh-oh” to Conner, it was funny to hear how vulnerable Conner became in those moments. I also love the denial.

[2SHY222]

I liked this sooooooo much. The teasing banter between Felix and Ben is refreshing. I can't wait to see what happens next 😁

[Privatedancer]

Fabulous chapter .  Poor Ben !  I am poking forward to seeing Connor fall (again, in the best way).  I know he is going to struggle to be care for but I hope in the end it helps him feel an even stronger connection with Felix and more at home than ever before to have someone who truly cares for him.

[GraySkies]

Here's Part 3! It's on the shorter side, but that's just how it goes sometimes, it seems. I love that some of you seem to be enjoying it so far!

This part shows Connor getting a little more sick, but it still hasn't fully hit him yet. The poor guy is still clinging onto all his upcoming plans as though he really does have just a tiny sniffle. 

Replies!

@dwaekki Thank you! I also think Felix is a relatively sneezy person, but they're usually soft enough for him to stifle.

@ichixshiro14 Thank you for your kind comment! Connor's definitely going to be hit hard! Lol

 @Rainbow I'm glad you liked the Connor and Ben interactions! I'd been wanting them to have a bit of a talk about their unresolved issues with each other, and I think this part was a good start! But there's still some talk that needs to be had - just not when Ben has pneumonia lol

 @RipleyToo his sneezes are definitely going to get more harsh and wet!

@2SHY222Thank you! I enjoyed writing Felix and Ben's banter, so I'm glad you enjoyed reading it! 

@funbusej dun dun dun indeed! 

@Privatedancer Thank you! Connor's definitely going to struggle, but Felix is pretty stubborn, so I don't think he'll let Connor suffer along for *too* long!

_______

Connor wakes up confused. Lights are on and he hears the TV going from somewhere off in the distance. He finally opens his eyes, squinting against the lights. It takes him a moment, but he eventually gathers that he’s in Reggie’s room and that his face is currently pressed, uncomfortably, against the desk.

He slowly adjusts himself into an upright position, several pressing questions running through his mind. Why did he fall asleep? How did he fall asleep? And most concerning of all – why does go want to go back to sleep? He looks out his surroundings, then lets out a yawn. Then a sneeze.

“EHH-P’TSHHHHH!”

For a long moment, he stares with furrowed brows at his lap where the sneeze landed. He did just wake up, so it makes sense for his brain to be reacting a little slowly, which definitely has to be why the sneeze caught him by surprise.

Connor lets out a slight groan as he realizes his body is no longer composed of bone and ligament, but instead, has been replaced entirely by aches. That’s undoubtedly due to falling asleep hunched over a desk. 

He rubs his eyes, then checks his phone. Then he rubs his eyes again because surely something’s wrong with his vision because how could he nap for two hours? But a glance at the clock on his laptop confirms the time. He blinks, then decides to go and check on Ben. When he makes it to the living room, he finds Ben wrapped up in his comforter, snoring away. Connor feels his stomach drop at the realization that Ben must have seen Connor that way – asleep, face planted on the desk. He feels an intense sense of shame course through him. He knows he should spend some time analyzing exactly why he feels shameful for falling asleep, but sets that aside as a task for later — one probably best left for his therapist when he finally gets around to making an appointment with one. 

After drinking two bottles of water that never quite managed to relieve the scratchiness in his throat, he decides to take some Vitamin C tablets. He bought the vitamins after Felix started to recover from his flu. The claims about the effectiveness of Vitamin C in preventing colds are mixed, to say the least, but Connor had figured any kind of vitamins could only help Felix, considering how Felix would often go until the evening before remembering to eat. Connor knows Felix won’t notice one missing tablet, so Connor takes one before returning the bottle to the cabinet.

Connor, giving up on getting any work done, goes to the living room and absently watches whatever it is Ben left on the TV before he’d drifted off to sleep. His eyelids feel heavy despite having just slept for two hours. He reaches to pull off the throw blanket from behind him and spreads it out neatly across his lap. Ben must have gotten too warm earlier and messed with the thermostat because Connor feels chilly. 

Connor isn’t sure how much time passes before Felix gets home, but he’s startled when he hears Felix moving around the house. Connor realizes he must’ve dozed off a little because he’d never heard him come in. He rubs his eyes, then straightens up his chair. A glance to his side shows him Ben’s still asleep on the couch. Connor intends to get up and … do something; he’s not sure what, but he knows he needs to do something more than sitting around and being lazy. But his body still aches from sleeping in an odd position and he’s cold. He looks down at the blanket on his lap and wants nothing more than to wrap it around his entire body until he resembles a burrito. This is Felix’s preferred state of being, Connor’s learned. But there’s something about the idea of being bundled up in a blanket in the middle of the day that sends a sense of unease through Connor. In fact, having the blanket on his lap, at all, makes him uncomfortable. Again – another problem for his therapist to sort out.

“Babe! You’re awake. Yay!' Felix’s  smile lights up the room, as always. 'I thought I was going to die of boredom with everyone in this house sleeping. School was rough today—one of those days where I despise Past Felix for ever thinking working with teenagers was a good idea. Then I got excited because I remembered you’d be here since you’re babysitting—"Felix stops, glancing at Ben, still fast asleep. "I mean, uh, watching Ben. But then I get here, and you’re both out." He pouts, like their sleep was a personal offense.

Connor removes the blanket from his lap and clears his throat to respond, but it seems that while he was napping, his throat escalated from "scratchy" to "razor blade" territory. He realizes he's definitely coming down with a cold—he can't remember the last time his throat felt this bad. He thinks he’ll need to go to bed a couple of hours early tonight to really kick it to the curb. He distantly wonders if his past colds have come on so quickly, but he dismisses the thought before it can full form. 

“Hey, honey. Sorry work was rough,” Connor says through his newly shredded throat because the mere act of talking is slicing it completely up. “I was just dozing a little,” he says, as he goes to grab the bottle of water on the end table. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Ah,” Felix says. “Was it Ben’s coughing? It woke me up a couple of times, too, but I was thankfully able to go back to sleep.”

“Yeah…. It was just nonstop.”

Felix smiles sympathetically at Ben’s sleeping form on the couch. “Yeah, I’m glad he’s finally getting some sleep now. He definitely needs it.” Felix pauses, frowning slightly at Connor. “And you look like you do, too. You still look pretty tired. And, I don’t know… Kind of pale? Are you feeling all right?” Felix asks, voice taking on an edge of concern. 

Connor plasters on his biggest smile. “Yes, sweetheart.  I feel perfectly fine. Just missed a little sleep last night, is all.”

Felix is looking at him as though he still doesn’t quite believe him, and Connor starts to desperately think of ways to convince Felix of the lie.

“You wanna go out? To eat, I mean?” Connor asks, as he shoves back the urge to rub at his sore throat. “I think Ben will be fine for a little bit if we make sure he takes his last dose of antibiotics before we leave. I don’t see him really doing much besides just lying on the couch.”

Felix looks thoughtful. “Sure. You mean, like, fast food? Oh, what about Taco Bell? I think I have coupons on my phone,” he says, already pulling out his phone to check. 

Connor huffs out a laugh. “I mean if you want to go to Taco Bell, sure. But I was thinking of something a little different. You know, maybe a nice-ish restaurant. I haven’t really had the chance to talk to you since I’ve been back, you know? I mean, we haven’t been on an actual date. And I miss you.”

Felix’s face softens into something so sweet, Connor’s heart melts from it. “Yes, I would love that. That sounds perfect after the day I’ve had today, you have no idea.”

Connor smiles, then gets up from the armchair so he can start getting ready. “Okay, sounds good. I’m going to go grab a shower, okay?”

“Okie dokie,” Felix says as he comes up to Connor, standing on his tiptoes, with the clear intent to give him a kiss. Connor instinctively pulls back, heart pounding. He can’t risk passing along any germs, especially with Felix just getting over his own flu. The last thing Connor wants is for Felix to end up sick again. 

“Uh…. Babe? What’s wrong? Is it the onion rings I had for lunch?” Felix asks, his face etched in genuine concern.

Connor laughs, trying to ease the awkwardness. “No, sweetie. It’s, um, it's what I ate actually. I had a ton of garlic earlier. I really need to brush my teeth. But –” he says, offering a smile as he pulls Felix in a little closer. There is a significant height difference between them, with Connor being 6’4 and Felix being 5’8. So, Connor has to lean down quite a bit to land a soft kiss on Felix’s forehead. “I think forehead kisses can sometimes be better than lip kisses,” he says as he meets Felix’s gaze.

Felix’s face breaks out into a giant grin. “Yeah, that was, I mean…cute, I guess,” he says with a slight blush. “Wait, where are we eating? And is it acceptable to wear jeans and flannel?”

“Well, I was thinking we could go to the restaurant where we had our first date. You know – restart our relationship at the place we met. How’s that sound?”

Felix gasps, which Connor hopes is a good sign. “Yes! That is perfect.”

Connor smiles, relieved. “Just, uh, avoid any kind of wild animals this time, okay? I mean, as much as I loved our first date, I don’t think the rabies shot component of it is necessary.”

Felix rolls his eyes. “Oh my god. I pet a raccoon once. And I never hear the end of it,” he says as he walks away to get ready.
_____

Connor knows he’s had colds before – knows he’s had a runny nose and sore throat before. With his cat allergy, he’s familiar with nasal congestion and a bit of a runny nose. However, what he’s experiencing right now is not a bit of anything. He’s trying to look down at the menu to decide what he wants to order, but even a slight tilt of his head is threatening moisture to leak out of his nostrils.  He realizes he’s going to have to sniffle – he doesn’t have a choice – it’s either sniffle, or let snot pour from his nose. He pretends to adjust his glasses, as he nudges his nose a bit to ease the itch there and then he prepares himself to finally just do it – to just have a small, innocuous sniffle. 

What comes out, instead, is the sound of a man trying desperately not to drown in his own snot, as though he's trying to keep a flood at bay. He can’t remember his sinuses ever feeling so full. 
Connor feels his heart stutter at the realization that one sniffle is not going to be enough. So, now that he knows what he’s dealing with, he’s better prepared for the second attempt. He tries to delicately and slowly sniff the moisture back up into his sinuses, so as not to be so… audible. But as he begins this delicate process, he feels a horrifying sensation – a deep, buzzing tickle radiating throughout every part of his sinuses and he doesn’t know how to handle it except to – 

“HAP-T’shooooooo!” 

Connor withholds his urge to groan at how much more sore that sneeze made his throat feel. He’s grateful he caught the sneeze in the crook of his elbow. But, he’s now in a situation where he has to sniffle. He realizes “sniffle” is too ineffective of a word for what he needs to do. What he has to do is snort.

So, that’s what he does. 

He looks up to find Felix watching him with an eyebrow raised. Connor’s cheeks begin to feel hot from how embarrassed he feels. “Bless you, babe. That was, like, a big sneeze for you. Is that cold air in here getting to you? It’s kinda making my nose tickle, too. They need to turn the heat up,” Felix says, and Connor feels his heart beat steady in relief. 

Felix is right. It is cold. He’s thankful to have a reasonable excuse for the sniffling, though he knows the excuse won’t hold up for too long. Whereas Felix’s nose is prone to be sensitive to temperature change, Connor’s never really has been, so Felix is bound to notice if it becomes too obvious. 

“Heh-ngkt!”

Connor smiles as Felix’s head bobs down in a quick jerk. When his head pops back up, he blinks, and gives a slight sniffle as he rubs his nose with the back of his hand. “Told you it was tickling,” he says, nose still scrunched up. 

“I never doubted you,” Connor says, not able to look away from how adorable Felix looks with his hair messed up from the wind and his scrunched up nose. Connor frowns, though, when he sees Felix vigorously rubbing his arms as if to warm himself up.

“Sweetie, are you really that cold? This is why you should wear a coat,” he says, already slipping off his own thick, wool coat. “You are just so bad at keeping yourself warm, Felix. You never did have any self-preservation,” he says, going on a rant he’s gone on many times with Felix, as he holds the coat out.

Felix takes the coat, and since it’s clearly much too big for his small frame, he wraps it around himself. “Thanks. I just didn’t expect it to be cold in the restaurant, you know? I mean, it feels ridiculous to get all bundled up just to walk from the car to a heated building. But this place is downright chilly,” Felix says, arms held tightly around his waist.

Connor is glad it’s not just him who feels chilly – though “chilly” isn’t exactly accurate. Connor feels cold, down to his bones. Now that he doesn’t have his coat, he’s finding himself in a constant battle to fend off shivers. What kind of establishment keeps it so cold? He thinks. 

“Are you excited for your book signing tomorrow?” Felix asks.

"Uh," Connor says as he thinks. He enjoys meeting people who appreciate his work, and it still feels unreal that his books sell well enough for him to hold a book signing. But the soreness in his throat and his runny nose are becoming impossible to ignore. He can't imagine those symptoms will be fun to deal with while trying to speak in front of a group of people. Then, he thinks about the Reptile Expo the day after that he was going to surprise Felix with. He can’t possibly still be sick during that, can he? That’s why you'll get a good night's sleep tonight and take more vitamins, he tells himself. There's no reason you can't fight this cold off before it really takes hold—you always do. 

“Yeah, I always enjoy talking about myself and my books. You know that,” Connor jokes, instead of voicing any of his actual thoughts. 

He looks at the menu and there’s not a single item that seems even remotely appealing. His sore throat screams at him as he reads every option on the menu — except for the chicken soup. He frowns, knowing it’s the one thing he can’t have. If he wants to hide his little cold he has brewing, ordering soup would be the same as wearing a sign around his neck that says “I’m sick!” 

The waiter comes by before Connor’s ready to order, but he figures nothing else is going to magically appear on the menu that he hasn’t already seen. 

After Felix orders stuffed peppers, Connor smiles at the waiter and opens his mouth to order, but instead of words, his breath catches, and a sneeze comes out. 

“HAP-T’shooOOOOO!” 

He’d jerked his head to the side, away from the waiter and Felix, but he hadn’t gotten his hand up in time. He feels his cheeks heat up and he looks down at the floor, not wanting to meet anyone’s gaze. He can’t remember the last time he’d wished to become invisible. He never feels embarrassed — has always thought it to be an entirely pointless emotion. But here he is, wanting to crawl into a hole.

 “Um,” Connor starts, clearing his throat, “Excuse me, sorry about that. I’ll just, uh, have the chicken alfredo, thanks,” he says, his voice lacking his usual confidence. 

The waiter smiles politely, then walks off. Connor reluctantly meets Felix’s gaze. “I hope you're not catching a cold,” Felix says, brows knitted. “You’re not supposed to get sick. You said it’s been, like, six years since you’ve had so much as a sniffle.”

A thousand thoughts are blaring inside Connor’s mind, but he gives a big smile, anyway. “It has been six years. And I’m not catching anything, so stop worrying about that,” he says, wondering why he’s lying to Felix, of all things, when he’s supposed to be earning his trust back. He feels the weight of the all too familiar feelings of guilt and shame settle deep inside him. He really does want to find that hole to crawl into so he can just hide from everyone. Hopefully the hole has a blanket because it is freezing in here! yells a distant part of Connor’s mind. 

“Okay….” Felix says, still seeming unsettled. “It’s just… uh, well, you’re sneezing differently.”

Connor feels his brows furrow. “I’m what? How do I normally sneeze?” he asks, feeling an amused smile tug at his lips.

Felix looks down and bites his lip before returning Connor’s gaze. “Well, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sneeze without a tissue. Usually, you have multiple tissues clasped tightly around your nose and mouth — like you’re terrified of even one droplet getting loose. And they usually end in a different sound. I mean, they usually sound like ‘achieww’, you know?” Felix says, voice laced with laughter at his obviously ridiculous impression of Connor’s sneeze. “And now, they’re all like ‘aCHOOO.’ They’re way more harsh sounding is all I’m saying,” Felix finishes, smiling nervously.

Connor stares at him, grasping for anything to say. Finally, he just laughs, then groans internally at the pain it sends through his throat. “I’ve gotta say, I was not aware you paid so much attention to my sneezes,” he says smiling adoringly at the blush forming on Felix’s cheeks. 

“Okay, it’s just that…. Um, you’re really cute when you sneeze. Usually, you’re, you know… hot. You’ve got that whole ‘sexy nerd’ thing going for you hard. And don’t even act like you don’t know what I’m talking about! I know you know how good you look, okay, so don’t even try for a second to fake humbleness,” Felix says, and Connor can’t stop laughing.

“For the record, I wasn’t going to disagree. I do know how I look,” Connor says, waggling his eyebrows.

Felix rolls his eyes. “God! Like that right there! Your arrogance should be annoying, but it’s just, ugh, it’s so hot. I just want to leave this restaurant, get you into bed, and do all kinds of things to you.”

A distant part of Connor’s mind latches onto the word “bed” and fixates on how nice it would be, indeed, to be in bed right now — not in the way Felix is implying — but to actually be lying down under a comforter where it’s warm. But he ignores that thought digression, and focuses on Felix’s point — a point that surely exists somewhere; Connor just has to dig for it. 

“Okay, um, so all I hear right now is flattery. I appreciate you calling me hot and sexy. Those are all very nice things to hear, but… I thought we were talking about my sneezing?” Connor asks, voice still traced with echoes of laughter.

“Right! I’m just saying, you’re usually super hot and sexy, okay? As I think I’ve well established at this point,” Felix says, voice but a whisper, as his cheeks get redder. “But, sometimes, when you sneeze — this sounds so ridiculous, I know,” he says, putting his head in his hands, as if to hide his face. “But, it’s like you’re finally losing this control you usually maintain so well, you know? Like, even ‘big, tough, strong Connor’ can be humbled by a sneeze. And it’s cute,” Felix finally finishes, and by this point, his face is literally buried in his arms, which are resting on the table.

Connor wants to really let go and laugh, but his throat hurts and also, Felix seems genuinely embarrassed. He reaches for Felix's hands, gently pulling them away from his face. “Hey, sweetie, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. And, just so you know, I think it's cute that you find it cute.” Felix raises his head, his cheeks still flushed. “So tell those cheeks of yours to calm down, okay?”

Felix rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Okay, fine. But, just so you know, my cheeks never listen. They love to broadcast my shame and embarrassment to the public.”

Connor grins, as he takes Felix’s hands in his. “And I think that’s cute. So, there. We’re even. We both find weird things about each other cute,” he says, feeling his heart warm at Felix’s soft expression. 

They continue talking while waiting for their food. Connor, while he was being completely honest with Felix, feels immense relief that that he successfully distracted Felix  from focusing more on Connor’s increasingly questionable state of health.
 

Edited November 4 by GraySkies

[RipleyToo]

OMG *dies* this was just.. AMAZING! 

[dwaekki]

Connor really is cute 😆 I loved both his and Felix's sneezes in this, and I'm excited to see how this cold progresses ❤️