Hex's drabble thread

[Hex]

Yes. I am joining the drabble challenge, in hopes that it will improve my writing skills AND up my post count. Hooray for the “look out for number one” mindset. Most of these stories will be X-men based, but X-files fics will pop up occasionally. I might also do some Fantastic Four and original fics. So far, I only have M, but I will do some F later.

Prompt: Suspicion

Fandom: X-men

Characters: Cyclops, Gambit, other team members implied

Word Count: 110

Cyclops sighed, and surveyed his team. Someone had been leaking information to Mr. Sinister, and it was up to them to find out whom. “X-men,” he began. “We have a traitor in our mid-”

“Hh-ASHOO!”

Everyone turned and stared at Gambit, whose red on black eyes widened. He pulled the tissue away from his nose hastily, as if it were a stolen gem. “What?” he asked, annoyed. “Never seen a man wit’ a cold b’fore?” There was a weak chorus of “bless you”s from the team, and those standing closest to the Cajun edged away. He snorted, and then looked at Cyclops, prompting him. “We have a traitor in our-?”

Prompt: Assignment

Fandom: X-men

Characters: Quicksilver

Word Count: 113

He shivered, miserable. Why, oh why had Magneto sent him after another mutant tonight? It was wet. He hated wet. The mutant known as Quicksilver rubbed a finger under his nose rapidly, hoping to stave off the tickle. But a raindrop ran down his face, onto his trembling nose, and all hope of control was lost.

“Hep-tch! Essht! Hh-tssh!”

Pietro bit his lower lip. Goddamn Magneto. Sending his own son out on a stupid mission that could be accomplished LATER, as in, when it wasn’t pouring. Another drop of rain hit his eye, and the white-haired man shook his head. This was one of the worst parts of working for a mutant terrorist.

Prompt: Ruin

Fandom: X-men

Characters: Wolverine, Cyclops

Word count:148

The clawed Canadian grinned, stepping back to admire his handiwork. Charles Xavier had a mohawk. Warren had swirls instead of eyes, and his tongue dangling from his mouth. Jean had a though bubble that said “Wolvie is hot”. Beast had smoke coming from the top of his head, and a speech bubble that said “Blah blah science blah.” And Cyclops? Cyclops had a goatee, horns, and a speech bubble that said “Duuuuuh.” Wolverine gave a very un-Wolverine-y snicker, and stepped forward again, marker raised, ready to defile the picture even more. Then he heard a noise. “Huh-tchoo!”

Wolverine dropped the marker, and fled from the scene of the crime. Moments after Wolverine had exited the room, Cyclops walked through, his nose a lovely shade of pink that matched his glasses well. He took one look at the graffiti-ed picture of the founders of the school, and screamed. “LOGAN!”

Prompt: Wary

Fandom: X-Files

Characters: Scully, Mulder

Word count: 238

Agent Scully walked down the hallway, high heels clicking on the tiled floor of the FBI building. Sneakers would be better for the “stealth” aspect of her impromptu investigation, but due to her “space efficiency”, Scully refused to wear anything different to work. And she wasn’t willing to explain to Mulder why she brought an extra pair of shoes to work. She could only imagine the jokes he would make.

She was here, patrolling the hallway after hours, to prove to Mulder that there wasn’t some secret agency with ulterior motives abducting information. But as it got darker, she became more and more jumpy. Her hand had settled on her gun not long ago, and she wished for the comfort of a flashlight.

A noise caught Scully’s attention, and she whirled, eyes widening. The noise had come from Mulder’s office. She ran down the rest of the hall, drawing her gun and bursting in.

Mulder stared at his red-headed partner in surprise. “So, Agent Scully,” he said, smirking. “Has nose blowing been added to the ever-growing list of federal offenses?” Her eyes flickered to her partner’s nose, which was slightly pink, and the tissues on his desk.

“…Mulder? Are you okay?” Scully asked, lowering her gun and stepping towards her partner. She flinched as he muffled a small sneeze in his tissue, but kept going, touching his forehead lightly, checking for a fever.

“Getting better,” he replied, grinning.

Um. All I have to say is “HOLY SHIT!” I didn’t know I was capable of writing halfway-decent fanfic, and then…

Comment, please, my loves!

[Spoo]

WAHHHHH!

I loveloveLOVE X-men! I'm so happy you've decided to play with that fandom. I cracked up at Suspicion, and Ruin was just PRICELESS. I'm looking forward to more!

Spoo~

[Cerulean Flower]

Oh stop, Hex. You are a great writer and it's evident from reading your fics. Glad you joined the challenge. I just love reading these. I should stop being lazy and join too... Nice work! Can't wait to read more from you.

[Hex]

The Romy shipper in me had a field day with these.

Spoo, Cerulean, I love you for commenting. Really. If there’s anyone you want me to put in one of these drabbles, tell me, okay? I’ve got 94 drabbles to go, so…

Prompt: Raincoat

Fandom: X-men

Characters: Gambit, Rogue

Word Count: 147

The heavens split, and rain came pouring down. Gambit smirked. He had known that his trench coat would eventually come in handy if he wore it for long enough. People scattered, fleeing from the sudden downpour. Gambit looked up at the sky, squinting through water-streaked sunglasses, suddenly worried. Rogue was flying recon. Would she be okay?

His question was answered when his love came streaking down from the sky. Her hair was plastered to her head, and she was shivering. Gambit wanted to run to her, but he knew better. Running would only make him slip in a puddle and fall. So he moved with a slow and deliberate pace towards Rogue. He saw her muffle a sneeze in her hand, and that strengthened his resolve.

“Here, cherie,” Gambit said, shucking off his coat and wrapping it around Rogue’s shoulders. “You need dis more dan Ah do.”

Prompt: Sore

Fandom: X-men

Characters: Gambit, Rogue

Word count: 149

When Gambit awoke, he stretched his arms up, an action he instantly regretted. His muscles screamed in protest, and the man sighed. He walked stiffly over to his dresser, pulling a shirt on. Rogue had protested the last time he had walked out shirtless. He grinned at the memory, stepping out of his room. As if his thoughts had summoned her, Rogue came down the hall just as Remy entered it. She noticed his stiff posture immediately, and crossed the distance separating them quickly. “What’s wrong, sugah?”

Gambit gave her a cocky grin. “Ah t’ink,” he said, “Gambit shouldn’ train so hard in de Danger Room when he’s sick, nien?”

Rogue gave her boyfriend’s face a gentle slap with her gloved hand. “You dork. Why’d you train if you knew you were sick?”

“T’ – httcht!- t’ impress you, course.” He smirked.

“Dork,” Rogue repeated, but she was grinning, too.

Prompt: Puppy

Fandom: X-men

Characters: Angel, Jean, Unnamed German Shepard Puppy (my own evil creation)

Word count: 195

“Augh!” was the first thing Angel said as he surveyed his closet. There was cotton stuffing everywhere, scraps of leather on the floor, and in the middle of it all, a German Shepard puppy who looked very pleased with himself. “Goddamn dog!” Angel yelled. The puppy drooled happily. “My closet is not the secret toy burial ground! Why is it that every time you get a- a- aahhssht! – a new toy you come into my closet to dismantle it? You’re not even my dog! Go kill things in – ahhttch! – Jean and Scott’s room, for god’s sake!” The dog chose to ignore the mutant’s emotional state, and walked over to sit next to Warren’s shoe and devour the laces.

“What the hell, dog! Get off my shoe! I’m going to drop you from a- ahhtshht! – thousand feet in the air, you hear?”

“Warren, have you seen- oh, there you are! Were you saying hi to Uncle Warren? You’re such a good puppy!” Jean chose that moment to walk in and scoop up the four-legged terror. Angel stared in disbelief at Jean’s retreating back, then turned back to the mess in his closet. “Goddamn dog,” he repeated.

Oh. By the way, in case you were wondering, I do not own X-men, or the X-Files, or anything else I may wind up writing about. So, Marvel, Twentieth Century Fox, don’t sue me. I don’t have that much money. It’s not worth your time.

[Tarkus]

*flails crazily* Yay for X-men drabbles!

I haven't read that many X-men drabbles lately, SF or otherwise, and yours are absolutely awesome!

[krazykat]

Sneezing Mulder!

[Hex]

I know what you’re thinking. Well, actually, I don’t, but I’m going to guess anyway. You’re either thinking, “What the hell took Hex so long? She hasn’t written in over a week?” It’s called procrastination, my dears. You may also be wondering why I just wrote an Emma/Scott fic AND a Jean/Scott fic. One after the other. Because I’ve never seen a fic about them (hell, I’ve barely seen ANY X-men SFs), and they’re both with Scott at some point or another in the comic-verse, AND I like both pairings. And they’re both gorgeous. So? You want to complain, be my guest. But I don’t see what there is to complain about.

Prompt: Heartless

Fandom: X-men

Characters: Kitty Pryde, Emma Frost, Scott Summers mentioned

Word Count: 173

She was heartless.

She was a heartless bitch that didn’t deserve the title of X-man. Kitty glared at the white-clad telepath, who was speaking with the leader of the X-men. She had wormed her way into Scott’s heart so easily, playing mind games until she had the famed leader of the X-men under her perfectly manicured thumb. She didn’t care about anyone but herself.

Kitty hated her for it. But what made her hate Emma even more was that she had moments where she seemed human.

Blue eyes widened slightly, and Emma’s words cut off abruptly. She raised a delicate hand to her face.

“Essh! Etshh! Etshh!”

Three sneezes. She was so vulnerable then. She had been that way for a few days. Kitty wanted to kill Emma for it. Scott hovered around her even more than normal, and everyone tried to make her comfortable.

When the White Queen was ill, no one but Kitty could remember that the telepath had been evil once. And, in Kitty’s mind, Emma still was evil.

Heartless.

Prompt: Fall

Fandom: X-men

Characters: Jean Grey, Scott Summers

Word Count: 127

Scott smiled. It was a rare expression for him. But he liked fall so much. It was the time when seeing everything with a red tint wasn’t that bad. Almost everything had a red tint in fall anyway, so it wasn’t like he was missing anything.

“Ep-tccht!”

Scott turned, erasing the smile from his face. There was another reason why he liked fall, but he’d never tell anyone.

“Hishew!”

It was because Jean seemed to be allergic to the very concept of fall. And they used that as an excuse to spend more time with each other.

Now he stepped towards his redhead wife, and folded his arms around her. She burrowed her face in his shoulder, giving a contented sigh.

Yes. Scott liked fall very much.

And after a ten-day hiatus, I still only get two written. Two fluffy ones. Let the hatred commence!

And, krazykat? I'll write more X-Files fics in the future. But I'm focusing on X-men drabbles for now, because there are so few X-men stories.

[Hex]

FEAR MY DOUBLE-POSTING-NESS! Sorry, but I can't edit my posts yet. So. Double-posting it is. In other news, Evo Pyro is a nut. I love him. I might expand this series of drabbles into an actual story someday.

Prompt: Three

Fandom: X-men Evolution

Characters: Pyro, Gambit

Word Count: 129

When Pyro’s sick, everyone suffers: Part 1 of 3

Gambit moaned and clamped his hands over his ears. Mon dieu, will that boy ever shut up? He really couldn’t help but question Magneto’s judgment in bringing that boy here. Sure, they were a team of evil mutants, but some things were just *too* evil.

“77 bottles of lighter fluid on the wall, 77 bottles of lighter fluuuiiiid…”

“Pyro!” Gambit snapped finally. “Dis got old 32 bottles ago!”

“But, mate,” Pyro protested. “I’m stuck inside! On a couch! What else am I-” his speech broke off abruptly, and his eyelids fluttered. “Ehh-hhsh! Tssh! Ehh-” this time he had enough warning to cover his nose, “-ignnxt!”

The fire wielding mutant sighed. “Aw, man. Lost count.”

“You were at three bottles of lighter fluid,” Gambit said, and resumed reading his magazine.

Prompt: Annoying

Fandom: X-men Evolution

Characters: Pyro, Gambit, Sabretooth

Word Count: 224

When Pyro’s sick, everyone suffers: Part 2 of 3

“Augh!” Telling Pyro that he was at three bottles of lighter fluid had only made it worse. Now that he was “done” with his god-awful lighter fluid song, he had launched into a collection of increasingly annoying songs.

“MAKE IT STOP!” Sabretooth screamed from somewhere upstairs. Despite the pain Remy’s ears and brain were suffering, he allowed himself a small grin. This was one of the times when having enhanced senses was a bad thing.

“It’s a small world after all, it’s a small world after all…”

Of course, Gambit groaned, trying to shove his fingers into his ears to forcibly remove his eardrums, it’s no picnic for those of us wit’ normal senses. He knew Pyro didn’t like Disney. He also knew that the little brat had learned this song for the purpose of annoying everyone else.

“SHADDUP!” Gambit screamed finally. Pyro gave him a hurt look, quivering his lower lip and sniffling. The sound was louder than normal, because of his cold.

“But Remy… I’m sick… an’ singing makes me feel better…” He gave Gambit the kicked-puppy look. There was no being on earth that could resist St. John Allerdyce’s kicked puppy look. Not even Magneto.

“Argh. Fine. But no more repetitive songs, got it?” Gambit would swear a manic grin crossed the youngest Acolyte’s face.

“I know a song tha-”

“AUGH!”

Prompt: Shut up

Fandom: X-men Evolution

Characters: Pyro, Gambit

Word Count: 229

When Pyro’s sick, everyone suffers: Part 3 of 3

“I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s-”

Gambit clamped his eyes shut, wishing he could do the same with his ears. After one straight minute of “The song that gets on everybody’s nerves”, sung in an Australian accent, by a person who was congested, he was ready to gouge his brain out with a rusty spork.

Why did it have to be him. Why, God, why? Why did Magneto choose him for “babysitting” duty? Sure, Bucket-Head was right that Pyro couldn’t be trusted not to get up and use his powers or something equally stupid and Pyro-esque that would keep him from getting over his cold quickly. But what had Gambit ever done to his boss to deserve this?

Besides stalk a certain member of the X-men. And read dirty magazines when he was supposed to be reading Magneto’s book on mutant superiority. And put a litter box with mousetraps under the litter in Sabretooth’s room.

None of those little… misdemeanors merited this kind of punishment.

“-and this is how – ignxxt! – it goes-”

He couldn’t take it anymore. “SHUT THE HELL UP PYRO OR AH’LL STOMP EVERY LIGHTER YOU OWN INTO SMITHEREENS!”

The singing stopped abruptly. Pyro’s eyes went wide, and he drew the blanket up to his chin, sinking under it and lying down on the couch. “I’ll be good,” he said meekly.

[Spoo]

OMG! These are gold, Hex. GOLD! Poor Pyro, but seriously. I'd get annoyed, too, haha. So lovely! I eagerly look forward to mooooore!

Spoo~

[Guest Secrets]

Love Pyro! Amazing work. That "Everybody's nerves" song gets really annoying! I love the meekness at the end! Please continue!

[chui]

oh wow... Gambit/Rogue so well done.... and schneaky Mulder...

[Hex]

@ Spoo: Pyro is an annoying, immature lunatic. I think "poor Gambit" is more appropriate here.

@ Secrets: He is truly awesome, even though he didn't get much screen time in Evo and the few times he DID appear, he was burning random shit and laughing maniacly. Actually... that's one of the reasons why I like him...

@ chui: Yay, a fellow Romy shipper! I wondered if my Romy fics would go unloved and I would have to discontinue them, but you have convinced me to write more in the future. Be on the lookout!

And yes, these are hideously late. But they didn't take as long as my last few sets!

Prompt: Fuck

Fandom: X-men Evolution

Characters: Cyclops, Jean Grey

Word Count: 240

Summary: This is me, deliberately pushing Spoo’s buttons. This could be seen as a continuation of her ficlet, or it could take place at a completely different time. Anyway, I’ll shut up and give you sick!Scott now.

“Ehsh-httch!” Cyclops caught the sneeze in the corner of his arm. He glanced around furtively, checking to make sure no one had seen. He had faked his own recovery from an illness that didn’t want to quit, because he was really annoyed at being left out of everything. He was one of the most experienced of the X-men, and he would *not* be left out of missions because his cold was still hanging in there. He felt much better. Really. Aside from the sneezing, he was completely cured.

Of course, the others would stick him back in a bed if they found out he was still kind of sick. That was why he would never let them know.

And he would have gotten away with it, too.

“EH-HSHT!” The sneeze was violent. His head jerked forwards so fast that his ruby-quartz glasses came flying off.

“Oh, fuck,” he swore, placing his hand over his eyes. He knelt, and used the other hand to feel around for his glasses.

“Missing something, Mister Summers?” The voice was gently mocking. Someone placed his glasses back on his face, and he opened his eyes to find Jean there. “Besides your manners, I mean. What would the Professor say if he heard that kind of language?”

He gave a small smile. “Busted, huh?”

“Oh, yes. And you’re going back to bed if I have to put you there myself.”

“Hm. That doesn’t sound too bad…”

Prompt: Muffle

Fandom: X-Men

Characters: Angel, IEP (Incredibly Evil Puppy, AKA Jean’s German Shepard)

Word Count: 180

Summary: So… I’m going to pull Warren off the shelf and play with him again. Also, the return of the Incredible Evil Puppy! Oh, and Warren swears a lot. It makes me laugh, ‘cause, you know, he’s an ANGEL *rimshot*.

“The next time you decide to go running off,” Warren said to the squirming puppy in his hands, “do it when Jean’s here and Scott’s not in the Danger Room. Because this is the LAST time I’m running into these godforsaken woods for some freaking animal I don’t even like.” The puppy drooled, and tried to squirm free.

“Note to self,” Warren muttered. “Bring the hellhound’s leash the next time you have to rescue it.” He addressed the puppy again. “Jean better be damn grateful for this. Rescuing her- ehh…” Oh shit! His eyes widened. Both hands were occupied, holding a squirming puppy whose name he had never bothered to learn. “Ehh… hhh…” Think, think, think… Apparently, he didn’t listen to himself, because when the sneeze became inevitable, the only thing he could think to do was sweeping one white wing in front of his face. “EhhSHOO! EHTTCH!” He kept it there for a second, enjoying the softness of his feathers against his now-irritated nose, until the hell spawn in his arms began to chew on one of his primaries.

Prompt: Disagreement

Fandom: X-men

Characters: Cyclops, Jean, Angel

Word Count: 229

Summary: Scott thinks one thing. Jean disagrees. Could be taken as a continuation of my last fic. And, the hell puppy is named!

“It was twenty!” Jean said, voice rising.

“No. It was ten,” Scott said calmly.

“Twenty,” Jean said stubbornly.

“Jean, you know I’d never disagree with you unless I knew I was right. You might throw me into a wall. But we both know it was closer to ten.”

“Oh, and you’re a perfect expert on this. I know it was twenty.”

“I don’t think that’s even physically possible!”

“Well, apparently this situation is an exception.”

Warren shuffled into the living room. His hair was mussed, there were dark circles under his eyes, several feathers on his wings were sticking out at odd angles, and his nose was red and raw. “Now, do I even want to know what this argument is about, or is it as disgusting as it sounds when taken out of context.”

“Oh, Warren! You’ll be able to settle this!” Warren stared at Jean warily. “This morning, in the kitchen with Captain, did you sneeze ten times or twenty?”

Warren stared incredulously at the redhead. “… Are you two seriously arguing over my allergic reaction to your hellhound?” The guilty look on both mutants’ faces was enough of an answer, and Warren stormed out of the living room.

“So,” Scott said, turning to Jean, “I guess we shouldn’t tell him about our argument about whether it’s more of an ‘etsh’ sound or a ‘htch’ sound, huh?”

[melonbun]

Ah, such lovely drabbles :3

Especially the one with Scott, fwee-hee~ *implodes* X3

[Spoo]

Pushin' my buttons, eh? Hah! Kudos for that. I love the prompt you used it with. Very, VERY nice. Why is Scott swearing so hot?

Spoo~

[Hex]

Prompt: Embarrassment

Fandom: X-Men Evolution

Characters: Cyclops, Storm, Pyro, Gambit, Colossus, other X-men implied

Word Count: 230

Summary: Sometimes, sharing the battlefield with a weather mutant – no matter WHOSE side she’s on- is a bad thing.

Notes: I’m preaching to the choir now. Another Scott!fic. I originally wrote this for the prompt “Fight”, but, I couldn’t resist some Scott torture. The characters I like can never tell I like them, because I love to make them suffer…

Lightning flashed, and the heavens split. When Scott looked up, he could barely see the cause of the storm against the dark clouds.

Then it became *completely* impossible to see Ororo, because it began to rain. Not wimpy rain, either. Coming-down-in-sheets rain.

And while it took one of the Acolytes out of commission (rain wasn’t good for fire), it thoroughly soaked everyone. But Ororo couldn’t let up. As soon as the rain stopped, Pyro’s flamethrowers would be functional again. One of them had to get in and disable his stupid flamethrower manually. And it wasn’t easy. Gambit and Colossus had appointed themselves the Official Pyromaniac Guard, and weren’t letting anyone close.

As they moved to engage Wolverine and Jean, who were coming in from two different sides, Scott had a clear shot. He raised his hand to his visor and-

“EHHSSHT!”

The sound rang out like a gunshot, and Colossus, Gambit, and Pyro froze momentarily. Scott’s face burned. And in the second that the Acolytes looked for the source of the weird noise, Jean was able to telekinetically rip Pyro’s pack away from him.

The storm stopped.

And everyone had a clear view of the field commander of the X-men holding a gloved hand over his nose and blushing scarlet.

It was easy to take the Acolytes out after that, because Pyro started laughing hysterically, and his teammates followed suite.

Prompt: Blanket

Fandom: X-men Evolution

Characters: Cyclops, Iceman, Jean (mentioned)

Word Count: 191

Summary: Warning: Do not place blankets that Kurt has been using near your nose.

Notes: Pointless sillyfic. Also, the first (publicized) appearance of Iceman. This COULD be seen as a continuation of my last fic, as there are references to it.

“Woohoo, movie night!” Bobby yelled, doing a weird wiggly dance as he sauntered over to the cabinet that contained the mansion’s DVDs. “Tonight’s feature…” he waggled his eyebrows, “’Jurassic Park! Now, kiddies, this is rated PG-13, so try not to pee on the couch.”

Scott rolled his eyes. It was an action that no one could see, but it was an appropriate reaction nonetheless. “Ooh, I’m shaking,” he said sarcastically, and pulled the blanket he and Jean were sharing up to the bottom of his glasses in mock fear.

It wasn’t a smart idea. The blanket hadn’t been washed in a while, and Kurt had used it recently. So one breath irritated his nose. A second set off a persistent itch. His breath hitched, and he felt like groaning. Not again…

“Ehtch!” A little one, compared to the noise he had made on the battlefield yesterday. Scott tried not to throw the blanket across the room, but he shoved it down with more force than was strictly necessary.

He thought no one had noticed. But as the movie started and someone dimmed the lights, Jean leaned over. “Bless you,” she whispered.

Seventeen down, 83 to go! And, a BIG shout-out to the people who keep reading and commenting on my stupid little ficlets. You guys are great.

[chui]

*squeeeee* how cute!!! can't wait for the next 83

[lifelove1]

These are amazing! Somehow you picked my two favorite fandoms Gambit/Rogue is fantastic, and if you're ever inspired to do more X-Files, that'd be excellent as well. Keep up the great work!

[Hex]

Prompt: Bike

Fandom: X-men (Movie verse, Pre- X2)

Characters: Wolverine, Cyclops, other people implied

Word Count: 303 (DAYUM!)

Summary: Scott takes protecting his bikes to the next level.

Notes: OH GODDDDD I’ve been gone forever. Forgive me?

Wolverine was a dangerous man, and everyone at the Institute knew it. Everyone but Scott Summers. That was the only explanation (besides a death wish) that people could come up with for the latest incident.

The clawed Canadian had stormed into the kitchen that morning, murder in his eyes. The threat in his glare was made less intimidating by the distinctly floral scent that followed him. Scott almost choked on his pancakes when he saw, and smelled, Wolverine, but he hid it in a cool “Logan.”

“You’ve gone too far, Captain Kangaroo!” Wolverine snarled, popping his claws. “Bad enough that you have to have that gorgeous woman and all those bikes you don’t deserve. But BOOBY TRAPPIN’ ‘EM? I’m gonna-gonna… HAAASHOO!... I’m gonna KILL you.”

“That threat is made far less intimidating by the scent of gardenias clinging to your ass, and the sneeze that probably registered a 1.2 on the Richter scale.”

“What kind of pathetic dick booby-traps a bike with perfume, anyway?”

Scott smirked. “The kind who’s protecting it from someone with enhanced senses.” As if on cue, Logan sneezed again. This time, his claws popped back into his hands. Scott looked at Logan’s rapidly healing knuckles. You could almost see the gears in his brain turning, and the light bulb that lit up over his head. “Hey, Logan. Catch.” He tossed another bottle of perfume at Logan’s face. Wolverine extended his claws in an attempt to block it, but all he succeeded in doing was slicing the bottle open and splattering it’s contents all over his face.

“Hh-HATCHOO!” Snakt. “ESHHTT!” Snikt. “Summers I-ISSSHH!” Snakt. “sniff I’m gonna fuc-HRUSSHHOO!”

“I didn’t know you swung that way,” Scott said coolly, but he was fighting laughter. Wolverine howled in outrage, but he was sneezing too hard to eviscerate the leader of the X-men.

Prompt: Mask

Fandom: Cable & Deadpool miniseries

Characters: Cable, Deadpool (NO RLY?)

Word Count: 269

Summary: Deadpool, Cable, and TMI.

Notes: An idea I’ve had for a while

“You know what I hate about this costume?” Deadpool asked, drumming his fingers on one of his many guns.

“No. And I don-” Cable didn’t get time to finish the sentence before Deadpool was talking again.

“The mask. I mean, I know I’m ugly, but masks are a serious pain in the butt.”

Cable rested his forehead in the palm of his hand. He hoped their target would show up before he killed himself. Or Deadpool.

“Y’see, the chuckleheads at Weapon X gave me this bad-ass healing factor, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get sick. No siree, my healing factor just protects me from the big stuff like, oh, getting my head cut off. This merc still gets colds, and THAT’S-” he slapped the barrel of his gun for emphasis, “why this mask sucks. You can’t really take the mask off to sneeze in the middle of a battle and then it gets all gunked up and you can’t clean it ‘till the end of the battle and-”

“SHUT UP!” Cable roared. Deadpool paused in his monologue with his mouth still open. “What in GOD’S NAME made you think I’d want to know about that?”

“Well, see, remember that other mission? I think I picked something up. ‘Cause I’ve been sneezing a bu-” Deadpool quickly raised his mask and turned his head to the side, “uhshoo- nch. So,” he pulled his mask down again, “If you see this thing in the laundry, don’t ask questions.”

Cable shuddered. “Thank you for that utterly disgusting information.”

“You’re welcome,” Deadpool said, and grinned under his mask. “And I don’t even charge.”

[Guest Secrets]

The Bike story is gold, Hex! Just great.

[Aprilcot]

This is really good!

Can't believe I didn't read this before!

Keep them coming!!

[lifelove1]

EEEEEEeee so glad to see this thread on the top of the pile again!! The Wolverine/Cyclops story was just.... O.o Incredible. I hope, for your sake and ours, that you keep feeling inspired, Hex!

[Hex]

Prompt: Mistake

Fandom: X-men (would fit best in the movie verse, but it’s open to interpretation)

Characters: Cyclops, Wolverine

Word Count: 240

Summary: Scott swears it was an accident. Wolverine doesn’t believe him.

Notes: I’m screwing with Wolvie’s enhanced senses again. *grin* I need to be stopped.

“How many times do I have to tell you it was an accident, Logan?” Scott asked, clearly exasperated. Logan just growled and tried to stomp off.

“Accident, my ass…” he grumbled.

“It was. God, if it’s such a problem, just wash them again!”

“I have. Ten. Goddamn. Times. And you know what? It’s still- still- HAASSHTTT!- sniff still there, you idiot.”

“Well, at least it’s encouraging you to ba-” Scott cut the jibe short when Wolverine glared at him. It wasn’t a terribly intimidating glare, as Wolverine was rubbing his nose with the back of his hand, but Scott had realized that snarking would not help him convince Wolverine that it had been a mistake. “Look. I put the clothes in the washer. I put the soap in the washer. I didn’t notice that it was a different kind of soap.”

“So you have no sense of smell an-egnxxt,” Wolverine caught the sneeze in the back of his hand “- and you’re blind. I’m gonna feel SO safe the next time you fly the damn jet. How could you NOT notice it was the girl’s flowery crap?”

“Not everyo- You know what? Fine. You want to blame me, go ahead. I’m done trying to reason with you, you Neanderthal.” Scott turned and walked away stiffly, like a disgruntled cat.

“Fuckin’ tightass. I’ll get you for this…” Wolverine growled, and walked away in the opposite direction to wash his clothes again.

Prompt: Fight

Fandom: X-men

Characters: Angel, Iceman, Nightcrawler, Jean Grey

Word Count: 348

Summary: There’s only one box of tissues left. Who’s going to get it?

Notes: This is Secrets’ consolation prize. Seeing as stories take a lot longer than drabbles, I decided to write a drabble starring three of her favorite characters. I’m still working on the story, though! Never fear! This is just something to tide you over.

“It’s mine!”

“Like hell it is! Give it back!”

“It vas never yours. And I got it first!”

“Not in this universe, pal! And I think I deserve it because thi- hha-KTSH!- this stupid cold came from you!” Bobby lunged for the box of tissues, but Kurt snatched it up and teleported to the far end of the room. “So that’s how you want to play? Eat i-i-hh… hh… HKTSH!”

“Looks like someone forgot icing up makes his cold worse. Too bad, Bobby,” Angel smirked at his teammate, who was de-icing as quickly as possible, rubbing his arms with his teeth chattering. The winged mutant copied Bobby’s move, and lunged for the box of tissues. He managed to grab it away from Kurt, and just in time. He grabbed a tissue and raised it to his nose, muffling a delicate “hhkshoo” into it. Warren blew his nose with an equally soft sound. “Ahh…”

“Give zat back, you tissue-swiping fie- ish-” Kurt vanished in a puff of smoke that smelled of brimstone. A faint “shoo!” could be heard from farther down the hall, where he had reappeared. But the sound of Kurt’s teleportation was heard again, and this time he appeared over Angel’s head. “Give me zat!”

When Angel tried to bat Kurt off with one hand, Bobby tackled him, and all three of them fell to the floor and began to fight over the box of tissues in the middle of the tangle. Jean chose that moment to walk in. It took her a few seconds to process the scene before her, but once she did, she yelled, “What the hell is going on here?” Three head with identical embarrassed expressions appeared. Bobby was the only one who dared to speak.

“Uh… fighting over a, uh, box of tissues…” he said, and grinned weakly.

“WHY? Don’t you know Scott and I brought about ten boxes back from our grocery trip yesterday?”

“Uh… yeah… we knew that…” Bobby said, voice trailing off. He turned to the people he had been brawling with a moment earlier and mouthed Ten boxes?

[Guest Secrets]

Oh. My. Gosh! Thanks so much Hex! That was great, just hilarious! That about sums it up. Please continue writing those fabulous drabbles. And again, take your time.

[Parksborn]

This is a really old thread. And I know that. But, uh.

YESYESYES. God I love you so much~

And the Wade one?

Heaven for me. <3