A question for fic writers!

[telltale]

Hey, writers. I'm writing a sneeze fic and it's going pretty good except I feel slightly ridiculous spelling the sneezing out and feel like it always looks lame afterward. I was just writing one out and I got annoyed and ended up mashing the keyboard with my hand for awhile, which did not yield very good results. Haha, so I was wondering how you guys decide how to spell these things out. Is there a method to the madness or what?

[Guest]

Telltale ..

Normally I use something like uhhuhhh uhhhh upppppCHHHEEWWWWWWWWWW for an open sneeze

and

uhhuhh uhhCHHHHUMMPPHHHHH ...eeeesscchhuuummppFFF for sneeze into a handkerchief (my favourite)

Hank

[randomguy]

It depends on how you want it to sound. Here's a process I made to help you out.

• Is there a build up to it? Build ups are usually written as a series of short, soft sounds separated by ellipses. (heh... hih... hitchoo!)
  
• What kind of overall sneeze is it? Is it loud? If so, write it in capitals. (HETCHOO!) Is it soft? Try it in lowercase. (hetchoo!) Somewhere in between? Write some of it in capitals and some of it in lowercase. (hetCHOO!) Italics make the sound more pointed, and they are great for when you want it to be powerful but not overpowering. (hetchoo!) I don't generally use boldface, but if you're stuck somewhere between italics and capitals, you might think about it. (het-choo!)
  
• Choose how many syllables you want it to have. I generally tend to put one vowel or vowel sound per syllable, (itsch! itchew! he-itchew!) but that can change if you combine vowel sounds with a diphthong. (eitchioo!)
  
• Decide how you want the sneeze to start. For a more definite beginning, I usually begin with an H. (Hitschoo!) For a more open sound, you'll probably want to start with a vowel. (etschoo!) If you want the beginning to be dragged out, you'll typically start with the same vowel multiple times. (eeeeeeeeeeeetschew!)
  
• Decide on the consonants. The more stifled the sneeze is, the more consonants you'll want to use. (ishoo! itchoo! inxtchoo! hitschk!)You'll definitely want to use either a "ch" or and "sh" sound in most cases to indicate the tongue hitting the roof of the mouth. A "ch" provides a harder sound while "sh" is much softer. (ichew! ishew!) If it's muffled into something, you generally put an "mp" after the first vowel. (himpchew!)
  
• Decide on the vowels. Broader sounds like "eh" and "uh" are more masculine. (Etchew! Hushoo!) Pointed sounds like "i" are more feminine. (hitchew!)
  
• If it's a stifled, or one syllable sneeze, (hitsch!) your work is already done. If your ending is going to be open, you have a little more work to do. The most masculine endings are the wider sounds like "ah" or "ow" (ETCHA! HAT-CHOW!) The common "oo" is more masculine, but will work either way. (hishoo!) The feminine version of "oo" is "ew." (ichew!) The sound "ee" is very feminine, (atchee!) but "i" or "ii" will serve the same purpose but make the ending more pointed. (atchii! atchi!)
  
• Decide on how distinct you want the parts of the sneeze to sound. Not at all? Leave it as it is. Want it a little divided? Use an "h." (hehchoo!) A division resulting from the tongue hitting the roof of the mouth is indicated by a "t." (hetchoo!) For a more marked division, add a dash. (heh-tchoo!) For a very distict division, use ellipses. (ih... chew!)
  
• I almost always end my sneezes with exclamation points, but that may not fit if you want the sneeze to be soft, gentle, almost intimate.
  

I know it's a lot, but it will go by quickly once you get into the swing of things. If I get stuck, I like to try faking the sneeze a few times and trying to pick up on what vowels and consonants I'm making. If I'm still stuck, I'll look at a few obs until I find one that works and I get a feel for how the character's sneeze should sound.

Good luck, and I hope this helps!

[Guest]

WOW .. I bow to you random and will use your process in my futuren writings ...

Thanks for you hard work

[telltale]

Thanks guys, and randomguy, that totally helps and goes above and beyond! THANK-YOU again. I'm going to bookmark that, and I'm sure I'll come back to it a lot.

I've never written a sneeze fic before, so I think it's just going to take awhile for me to get used to it enough to feel more comfortable and less silly.

[randomguy]

Glad I could help you out! I thought about doing this a while ago. Thanks for giving me the chance! Remember, this doesn't have to be followed exactly, and with practice, the steps should all meld together and you'll be able to write it out without going through each part individually. You might even be able to do that now! The most important thing is that the final product looks right to you, not that it follows all the steps.

I forgot to mention in my first post, feminine and masculine don't necessarily mean male and female. I've often given my male characters feminine sounds when I want them to be cuter, and I'll sometimes give my female characters masculine sounds when I want their sneezes to have a little more power.

[Shay]

Well as someone who's written a handful of sneeze fics, I know where you are coming from. To be honest the spelling out the sneezes part was always my least favorite part of the writing. I always had a hard time trying to figure out how to spell them and I didn't want them to all sound exactly the same, so it was often a challenge working in lots of small variations. Overall I'd say that the process felt very awkward for me.

So I can't say I have any advice for you as far spelling out sneezes goes, but what I decided to do for myself is just to dispose of the whole thing and not bother spelling them out anymore. I've got a couple of sneeze fics in progress where all I do is describe the sneezes. I know that spelling the sneezes out is by far the more popular method in this community, but I just couldn't do it anymore. This way the actual writing is more enjoyable for me, plus I figure simply describing the sneezes gives the reader much more freedom to imagine the sneezes sounding however they desire. The weird thing is, normally I never get turned on while I'm writing something, but ever since I decided to change my writing style I've found myself getting quite worked up when I'm writing the sneeze scenes which can be distracting but certainly makes the writing process a lot more fun.

[telltale]

I've got a couple of sneeze fics in progress where all I do is describe the sneezes. I know that spelling the sneezes out is by far the more popular method in this community, but I just couldn't do it anymore.

It very much is, but personally I like the description just as well as the spelling out, and in many cases more. I'm pleased to hear you're doing it that way. I think that's great.

I'm getting sliiightly more into the swing of spelling them out now, but I have the same problem as you, where I really don't want them to all sound the same. It can get to be a bit tedious just making things appear less tedious, lol, and writing has always been my fun place, so I may end up following in your footsteps, or at least do half and half or something!

[sneezybreezy]

Although I don't write fics anymore, I just wanted to comment that randomguy explained it very well and has a description of the process that is right on!

[cara]

you have to really think about the person sneezing- get inside their heads

[PollenFairy]

Can you also give tips on how to do Congested Talking for those who are going to write about people with colds in them?

[prisma]

Yes I can !

N's should be replaced with a d

for example never would be dever

Or no would be doh

M's should be replaced with a b

For example more would be bore

If you are unsure just hold your nose and say the word then try to spell out how it sounds!

[PollenFairy]

Yes I can !

N's should be replaced with a d

for example never would be dever

Or no would be doh

M's should be replaced with a b

For example more would be bore

If you are unsure just hold your nose and say the word then try to spell out how it sounds!

Thanks. ^^

[Nova]

Yes I can !

N's should be replaced with a d

for example never would be dever

Or no would be doh

M's should be replaced with a b

For example more would be bore

If you are unsure just hold your nose and say the word then try to spell out how it sounds!

Thanks. ^^

/nerd

I do like this too (I think most people do), but write things a little diffrently with words where the letters nd or mb follow eachother, since I don't think two n's or m's would sound or look right. Like:

Finand I'd write "Fidla'd"

and

Hamburger I'd write "Ha'burger"

Then there's the words with ng, such as young or something, which I'd write in the same way: "you'g" and "sobethi'g". And don't forget the thags-thanks! *laugh*

/end nerd

[tma]

If I can't hear the sound clearly enough in my head to where I can write out the sound- I have just described it. As far as reading it- I'll be honest- if there are too many letters, especially captials it makes me sort of tune out. Also, how often the sneezes are spelled out- I don't think that an author necessarily has to spell out every sneeze. There can be a mix within a fic. Congested speak... that is a divided one with me. In reality I love hearing it. In reading fics- for me it depends on how much it is used. I know some people don't like it at all and others Love it and it's the more the merrier. I'm sort of in-between.

good sf fics- especially sickfics- make me melt. *grins*

btw- randomguy I like your breakdown. Makes a lot of sense. I hadn't thought of it like that. Always have just done hearing it in my head and "translating".

[count tiszula]

Interesting. Actually, I think that consonants are doubled, in the sense that they are lengthened as in Italian etc., when people congestedly pronounce "mb" or similar combinations, so I personally would write "Habburger" or possibly even "Hab-burger"; and Fidladd, [which is difficult to hyphenate]. As for ng, it should be remembered that this is a separate sound which "congestifies" into g. So Sneezing becomes Sdeezig, etc. And since the sounds of thank are really thang-k, the congested version should be "thagk".

The version "Thags" is commonly used, but then US writers tend to write all congested unvoiced consonants as voiced; for example "The cad sad od the bad". I don't know whether Americans really voice consonants more when congested, or whether there is really no distinction between voiced and unvoiced at any time; assonating "reader" and "wrider" suggests so. But for British usage it should really remain "thagks". [And anyway in American it should really logically be "thagz".]

While I'm here, it is very true that less is more with congested speech; it should just be gently suggested by the occasional difficult word. Unless you are skilful enough , as some are, to change the level of congestion up and down to indicate the progress of the cold. People have already noted the necessity of distinguishing heterophones, if that's the word; as when "no" has to be written "doh" to distinguish it from "do".

As for sneeze-spellings, my own view is that something should be left to the reader's imagination, and endless strange combinations of consonants just make me skip over the word, so my tendency is to write standard sneeze spelling like Atishoo, in all caps with suitable lengthening; but I'm aware that this theory is not generally favoured.