Secret Santa for: Sen Beret

[Bongo]

It's 12:05 AM in Michigan, which means it is officially the eighteenth and I can post your secret santa fic! If you haven' guessed, this is why I didn't want you to Beta read it (lol). And can I just thank Schnulle for being awesome and helping me when I was in doubt? Yes? Then thanks.

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Prompt: HIMYM: Barney's determined to hide his cold from the others, given that displaying weakness isn't something he's fond of. Lily, however, sees past his facade - and it isn't long before the others catch on as well. Denial/caretaking.

Title: Ewok Night

Fandom: How I Met Your Mother

Spoilers: Season 3

Summary: AU of the end of season 3

Disclaimer: I don’t own HIMYM

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Kids, when your mother and I were spring cleaning, we came across two life-size Ewok dolls in the upstairs linen closet. They were a gift from your Uncle Barney, each time your mother was pregnant. As soon as she began to feel sick and nauseous, the wonderful side effects of you, we would find one on the front porch with a bow. There’s actually a pretty good reason for these gifts.

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“Lily?”

Lily didn’t wake up.

“Lily?”

“mmmm”

“Lily!”

Lily shot up in bed and glanced at the clock, which read 4:43. “What, Marshall?” she demanded.

“Do you know where my “Ewoks: The Battle for Endor” DVD is?”

Lily glared at him silently, then yanked the covers back and rolled over.

Marshall pouted at her back for a minute, before whispering, “Lily? Lily? Lilllllllllly?”

Lily sat back up, fury in her eyes. “This had better be good, Marshall Erickson, or so help you God…”

“Wanna do it?”

Lily thought about it for a second, and then shrugged. “Okay.”

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“And I still haven’t found it,” Marshall lamented. “I’ve looked everywhere. It’s just not in the apartment. Did I forget to bring it when I moved?”

Ted scoffed. “How could you forget Ewoks?”

“That’s true. It is too amazing to leave behind. But where is it then?”

“What’s Ewoks?” Robin asked.

“What’s Ewoks? What’s Ewoks?” Marshall made flummoxed noises and shook his head.

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you.” Robin looked at Lily for support, and she shrugged.

“Ewoks: The Battle of Endor is the 1985 made-for-TV special in the Star Wars universe. It focuses on young Cindel Towani, who helps the ewoks protect their village when evil marauders take over their moon.”

Ted jumped in. “It’s the sequel to Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure, where that same little girl and her brother search for their parents, who have been kidnapped by the Gorax.”

“Man, Star Wars is so deep.”

“A little girl running around a moon with a bunch of teddy bears trying to save her parents from a monster that kind of sounds like an organ is deep?”

“Yes, Robin, because it shows that creatures from different galaxies can work together and help each other, despite their differences and the fact that they are fighting for different things.”

“And ewoks aren’t teddy bears,” Ted added.

“They’re fuzzy bear-like creatures, and they look like something little kids would love to squeeze.” Ted was about to but in, but Robin cut him off. “And Barney has your DVD. I saw those bear things on his TV wall a few weeks ago.”

“Barney has a wall of TVs?” Marshall questioned curiously.

“Oh yeah,” Lily remembered, “you guys have never been to his apartment. He doesn’t have a wall of TVs. His wall is a TV.”

“That’s sweet. But I want my DVD. Ted and I are having Ewok night on Friday.”

Robin snorted. “Ewok night?”

“I bring Caravan of Courage, Marshall brings Battle of Endor, and we watch both while drinking beer. It’s a good night.”

“Do you have little Ewok teddy bears too?” Robin pressed.

“If you mean soft Ewok collectable figurines? Of course, but every serious Star Wars fan has one. It’s not weird.”

“It’s a little weird,” Lily argued.

“Lily!”

“I’m sorry Marshall, but it’s like a giant creepy teddy bear that watches me when I sleep.”

“It’s not a teddy bear,” Ted snapped. “For that, you buy the next round.”

Lily glanced at her watch. “Actually, I’m going to skip the next round. School night.”

“Well if you’re leaving, do you mind stopping by Barney’s and getting my DVD?”

“I guess not, but are you sure he’s home? It’s only ten o’clock.”

“It’s Wednesday.”

“We’re here,” Robin pointed out.

“Well, yeah, but...you know…” Marshall sighed. “I want my DVD!”

“Fine, I’ll go grab a cab.” Lily kissed Marshall, waved to her friends, and left to go flag down a taxi to take her to Barney’s apartment.

A car stopped for her, and she slid in, giving the driver Barney’s while simultaneously pulling out her phone. “Hello?”

“Barney? It’s Lily.”

“Yeah, I have caller ID. What do you want?”

Lily huffed. “A little more respect than that, that’s for sure.”

“If I’m nice to you, you’ll come over,” Barney pointed out.

The cab had already arrived. “Well I’m already here,” Lily informed her friend. “So will you buzz me in?”

“No.”

“No? Barney, come on. I’m literally in front of your door.”

“No.”

“But I have to pee!” The lock clicked, and Lily hurriedly pulled the door open and ran to the elevator. “Thank you!”

Barney pulled open the door just as she approached his apartment, and she smiled brightly at him before heading to the bathroom. As she was washing her hands, she thought she heard him sneeze. Curious, she came out to investigate.

“Did you sneeze?”

Barney, staring out the window, did a double-take at her voice. “Sneeze, me? No, of course not. I never-Hp-Hrrssch!” He threw his elbow over his face at the last second, an epic failure of a stifle.

“Did you sneeze then?”

Barney narrowed his eyes. “No…”

“Barney!”

Barney sighed, crossing the apartment to his fridge and pulling out a beer.”Beer?” He held one out to Lily.

“What? No. Barney, we have to talk about this.”

“Talk about what?” Barney turned away, draining half of his beer in one gulp. “I’m busy.”

Lily scoffed. “It’s ten-fifteen, and I’m actually starting to think you’re alone. What’s the matter, don’t want to give anyone your cold?”

“A guy can’t sneeze? It doesn’t mean I have a cold, just that I had to snee-Rch-Isssc! Damnit!”

Lily raised her eyebrows in concern as Barney groped in the pocket of his slacks for a handkerchief, and crinkled them back down as he blew his nose wetly. “What?” he demanded.

She put her hands up defensively. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re making faces.”

“A girl can’t make faces? They’re just faces, doesn’t mean anything.”

Barney finished his beer, tossed it in a recycling can, and glanced towards the fridge, debating getting another.

“Sneezing though, that could mean something,” Lily hinted.

“Lily, leave it alone.”

“But you’re sick!”

“I’m fine. I don’t get sick; I’m Barney-fricking-Stinson.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t get sick.”

Barney scoffed, chocking a little. “Of course it does. Hasn’t Robin told you what happens when I get sick?”

“No…”

“Well then, my dear, sweet Lily….When I get sick, I just stop being sick and start being awesome instead.” He sniffled, and wrinkled his nose.

Lily rolled her eyes. “You can’t just stop being sick.”

“Then I won’t start,” Barney declared, deciding to just go for it and get another beer. Glancing in the recycling bin, Lily concluded this probably wasn’t his second.

“You should be drinking orange juice, not your weight in beer.”

Barney waved his hand dismissively, dropping himself on a chair. “I don’t like orange juice. Burns my throat.”

Lily planted herself on the couch. “That makes sense. You know, citric acid, sore throat from a cold…”

“I don’t have a cold! heh'Eksh!” Barney crossed his arms and pursed his lips in frustration, and Lily felt a wash of sympathy.

“Bless you,” she said softly.

Barney glanced up at her. “Stop giving me goo-goo eyes. I’m not a sick kindergartener or pathetic Marshall with the man-flu.”

“So you admit you’re sick?”

“No. Lily, why are you here?”

She had completely forgotten. “Oh yeah! You have Marshall’s teddy bear movie, and he and Ted want to watch it on Friday.”

Barney, who had had his head on his hand, propped up on the arm of the chair, raised it and glared. “Did you just call ‘Ewoks: The Battle for Endor’ the ‘teddy bear movie’?”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Do you have it or not?” Barney gestured to a box on the end of his kitchen counter. Lily slid it into her purse. “Well, I guess I’m gonna go then…Yep, nothing to keep me here. No one to look after…”

“Yeah. See you later.”

“Do you want me to bring you some soup? Or I can make tea, or, um, go get you a blanket from your room, or some Tylenol…Do you even have a fever? Or a thermometer, for that matter?”

Barney got up with a grunt and propped open the front door with his foot. “Please get out of my apartment.”

No one could say Lily couldn’t take a hint. “Do you want me to stop by and check on you tomorrow?”

“No.”

Fair enough. Lily propped her purse on her shoulder and patted Barney on the shoulder on her way out. A few steps out the door, Barney stopped her.

“Lily?”

She turned around. “Yeah?”

“Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“Don’t tell anyone that you don’t have a cold?” Lily questioned.

Barney nodded. “Uh, yeah…”

Lily nodded. “Sure thing. It’ll be our little secret.”

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“Marshall?”

Marshall yawned and shifted slightly.

“Marshall?”

“I’m sleeping baby,” he mumbled.

“Marshall!”

Marshall rolled over and squinted at her. “Is this revenge for last night?”

“No, of course not. I got your DVD back.”

“Yeah, four hours ago.” Marshall shoved his head back into his pillows.

“Barney’s sick,” Lily blurted out.

Marshall sighed and sat up against the headboard. “Sick like disgusting, or sick like ‘achoo’?”

“Sick like ‘achoo’.”

“Well he’s a big boy, baby, he can take care of himself.”

Lily snorted. “He’s a thirty year old baby who just lost his best friend and is all alone in a big empty apartment. I feel bad for him."

“But there’s nothing you can do at two thirty in the morning. If he’s sick, he’s probably asleep. Like all other normal people.”

Lily pouted. “Fine. I can take a hint.”

Marshall blindly reached out to pat Lily on the arm, and ended up just messing up her hair. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow, when the sun is out and Al Bundy isn’t waiting for me to get back to poker night.”

Marshall started snoring again, but Lily was too upset to sleep.

“Wanna have sex? She asked quietly.

Marshall was suddenly wide awake again. “Yes I do.”

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The next morning, Marshall kept his promise to Lily and made his way to Barney’s office when the sun was out. He leaned in the doorway and silently watched Barney blow his nose, unaware of Marshall’s presence.

“Dude, you look awful.,” he commented when Barney was done.

The blond practically fell out of his chair in surprise. “Jesus, Marshall!” he exclaimed. “You can’t just sneak up on people like that!”

“Sorry.” Marshall took a seat in front of Barney’s desk.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was bored and thought I’d come visit my favorite corporate friend,” he lied.

Barney narrowed his eyes.

“Okay, fine.” Marshall sighed. “Lily told me you were sick, and I promised to come check on you.”

“Dude…” Barney groaned.

“She gets worried when her friends aren’t feeling well. I think it’s sweet,” Marshall defended.

“I don’t. And I don’t get sick.” Barney’s statement held very little credibility as he made a choking sound and wrinkled his nose.

“Did you just sneeze?” Marshall asked.

“No.”

“You made a ridiculous noise.”

“No I did-hxxt! Uhh..”

When Barney groaned and his eyes teared up slightly, Marshall developed a new hypothesis.

“Are you trying not to sneeze so I think you’re not sick?”

“Doh.” Hearing himself, Barney winced.

Marshall chuckled. “You sound like Homer Simpson. D’oh. Ha.”’

“Uh-huh.” Barney moved folders around on his desk, but the Marshall could see that the movement was arbitrary. “So I have to get back to work. I trust that you cad see yourself out.”

“Barney…”

“I have a beeting with the Kore-ahh-ads in ad hour. Gotta, you dow, study up od by Koread.”

“You sound like you have cotton balls in your nose.” Marshall chuckled, but Barney glared thickly at him. “Sorry.”

As Barney continued to make irritated snorting noises, Marshall had to continue to fight his amusement. “Come on sniffles, let’s go get lunch at MacLarens.”

Barney, as much as he looked like he wanted to argue, shrugged into his suit jacket and followed Marshall out the door. “Let’s walk,” Marshall suggested.

“It’s a little cold to walk is’id it?” Barney asked.

“It’s May. Come on, it’s a short walk.”

Barney sniffled thickly, but looked away innocently when Marshall turned to study his face. “Come on man, you’re transparent. You have a cold. Happens to everyone.”

“Dot the Bardicle,” Barney argued.

Marshall scoffed. “Really? Because from over here you look like you have a bad cold and have had to sneeze for like five minutes.”

“Thed you deed to get your eyes-hehh-checked.”

They immediately went to their regular booth when they arrived at MacLarens, but were surprised to find it was already taken.

“Ted, Robin, what are you guys doing here?” Marshall asked, feeling awkward.

“Having lunch,” Ted replied. “You said you’d be busy today, or we would have invited you. I figured you were going to Lily’s school or something.”

“Nah, Lily asked me to go che-OUCH! What the hell Barney, did you just kick me?”

Barney gave him a pointed look, then looked at Ted and Robin, and back at Marshall. Marshall understood.

“Do you guys want to join us?” Robin asked. She turned to Ted. “I know you and Barney aren’t friends anymore, but I never get to see him anymore. You can sit at a

table together for twenty minutes.”

“I can leave,” Ted offered dully, avoiding eye contact with Barney as he got up.

“Stay. I’ll go,” Barney counter-offered, glad for the excuse to avoid Robin with his tie loosened and his shirt unbuttoned at the neck.

“But Barney, I promised Lily I’d-“

“HCK-Etisch! HISH'Atch!”

Ted, halfway out of his seat, paused and joined Robin in staring at Barney in shock.

Marshall smiled. “I totally called it- you had to sneeze.”

Barney dropped himself in the booth next to Robin, pointedly ignoring Marshall.. “Okay Ted, I wadt to stay. You cad leave. Good-bye.”

“Are you…okay?” Ted asked hesitantly.

Barney nodded. “Right as raid.” He didn’t make eye contact, and Ted only hovered awkwardly for a few seconds before bailing.

“So that was weird,” Robin announced, as Marshall took Ted’s vacated seat and flagged down Wendy the waitress.

“Dot really. Ted dosed’t like be buch.” Barney took Robin’s unused napkin and blew his nose loudly. Robin flinched slightly, and Wendy gave him a concerned look.

“No, that. You’re sneezing and blowing your nose.”

“Doh I’b dot. Dod’t be silly Robid.”

Robin and Marshall exchanged exasperated looks. “Yes you are. I just watched you sneeze twice, steal my napkin, and blow your nose. Like, ten seconds ago.”

Barney waved a finger at her. “You see, Robid, that is where I will have to disagree.”

Robin threw up her arms. “You can’t disagree with something that legitimately just happened. It’s not up for debate.”

“I’b dot debating you. I’b stating that you’re wrog.” Robin opened her mouth, closed it, paused, and opened it again, all without saying anything. “HEISH'Egscht!”

“See!”

“See what? Robid if you’re goig to live id Aberica, you should leard to speak Eglish.”

“That doesn’t even have anything to do with our argument!”

“Thed we’ll call it a tie. Good-bye.”

“Barney!” But he was already halfway out the door. Robin turned to Marshall. “What the hell?”

“I dunno. It’s Barney. I just…” Marshall shook his head and waved his hands around, before stealing one of Robin’s fries.

“He’s sick.”

“Looks like it.” Marshall took another.

“Well,” Robin paused to move her plate out of Marshall’s reach, “are we going to help him?”

“Help him? He’s thirty, he can help himself.”

“I know, but…”

“But what?”

“But he’s Barney.” Robin couldn’t think of anything more, but Marshall understood.

“Yeah. He is.”

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Barney was face down on his couch when the phone rang. He ignored it, figuring the caller would take the hint and hang up, but they didn’t.

He grabbed it, and flipped it open without looking. “Lily, I swear to God if you dod’t leave be alode I will blacklist Barshall so bad he wod’t be hired at so buch as a

BcDodalds id Dew Jersey.”

“Do you really have that type of power?”

“Robid?”

“Of course. Unless you run out on other women at lunch, who then feel like they have to call up and check on you when you get home from work.”

Robin heard what she assumed was a groan, but her first thought was a death rattle. It was followed by bark-like coughing. “You sound like crap.”

“I’b fide.”

“Dude. If you can’t pronounce ‘fine,’ you’re not fine. Rule number one of faking well.”

Barney sat up and settled himself comfortably and upright on the couch, wishing for a blanket. “There are rules?”

“Of course. Rule number one, if you can’t pronounce ‘fine,’ you’re not fine. Rule number two, don’t think you can pull one over on Robin. Rule number three, never

assume Lily will keep your secret.”

“I thik the third ode is bore of a rule to live by id gederal.”

“She means really well,” Robin defended half-heartedly. “But that’s not important.”

“Doh?”

“No. What’s important is that I’m on my way over with soup I picked up at that Deli on Fourth. You know, the one with the giant plastic rooster on the roof?”

“I’b fide. Dod’t cobe over.”

Robin rolled her eyes. “Tell you what. I’m already in a cab. You can either let me and my soup in, or come out and go play laser tag with me.”

“Laser tag?”

“Yeah, laser tag. Your favorite game. Lots of running and diving and yelling and running…”

“You said ruddig twice.”

“Yeah, well there’s lots of running. Lots of it, and you don’t get to sit down. But that’s the fun, right?”

No answer.

“Well, I’m here. Make your choice.”

Barney sighed. “Cobe od up.”

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Robin wasn’t sure what she expected, but the sight that greeted her when Barney opened the door wasn’t it. His jacket and tie had been abandoned on the kitchen

counter, which itself was surprising. His shirt was unbuttoned, showing his sweat-slicked torso and making her wish she’d remembered a thermometer. His hair was

rumbled, and his face was white except for red-rimmed nostrils that would have been comical if it wasn’t so pathetic.

“Wow…”

“Wow what?” Barney demanded self-consciously.

“Wow, you look awful.”

“Geez, dod’t sugarcoat it or adythig.”

“That is sugar-coating it.”

Barney sniffled wetly and cleared his throat, uncomfortable under her studious gaze. “Stop starig at be.”

Robin put her hand on his upper arm, which was definitely warmer than she thought it was supposed to be, and led him to his bedroom. “Put on some pajamas and

come back out. I’ll put on some tea.”

Robin poured water into the kettle on the stove and rooted around in her purse for the tea bag she had thrown in there, knowing that Barney kept no food at his

apartment.

He came back out as the kettle began to whistle, obediently dressed in a pair of silk pajama pants and nothing else, and dropped into a chair at the table without

looking at Robin.

“Aren’t you more comfortable now?” Robin asked, setting a bowl of soup and mug of steaming tea in front of him. She sat down with her own bowl across from him.

“I was fide before,” he mumbled, not making eye contact.

“Yeah, sure.” Robin let the matter drop, but continued to watch him closely as he slowly drained his soup. “Do you like it?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, it’s fide. HEISH'Chsch!”

Robin sighed. “Barney…”

He blearily met her eyes over his tented hands. “What?”

Dozens of responses went through Robin’s mind, from demanding he go to bed to suggesting Lily, much more maternal than her, come take care of him. “Do you want

some tissues? I think I have some in my purse.”

Barney lowered his hands and have her a small, hesitant smile. “That’d be great. Thaks.”

So they fell into a comfortable pattern, where neither mentioned Barney was sick, or that Robin was caring for him, but he finally got the rest he needed and she was

able to take care of him.

He had fallen asleep on the couch, under the blanket Robin had snatched from his bed, when Robin’s phone rang. She grabbed it as quickly as she could to keep it from

waking her sick friend up. “Hello?” she whispered, staggering away from the couch, half blind from the TV.

“Robin? It’s Lily.”

“Hey Lil, is something wrong?”

“Not really. Marshall said he and Barney ran into you at MacLarens today.”

“Yeah, at lunch.”

“So you know he’s sick?”

“Yeah.”

“So I don’t know if you were planning on seeing him soon, but when you do, can you make sure to stress that I didn’t tell you? I want to come check on him later, and I

don’t want him to be annoyed and defensive. You know, like he normally is.”

Robin turned around and looked at Barney sleeping on the couch. She smiled slightly. “I’ll be sure to do that,” she assured Lily, “but he probably just wants to crash on

the couch or something tonight. Maybe you can check on him tomorrow.”

“It’ll be a good excuse to get out of going to Ted and Marshall’s Ewok night,” Lily reasoned, “but I just feel so bad…”

“Trust me, he’ll be fi-wait, you’re going to Ewok night? I thought it was just for the guys.”

“Not anymore. There was a fancy invitation on my nightstand when I woke up this morning. Ted said he slid one under your door a few hours ago.”

Robin sighed. “Awesome.”

“Maybe you can come check on Barney with me. Or is it all still too weird for you?”

“Ted’s the only one with a problem, not me,” Robin pointed out. She heard Barney sneeze loudly behind her, and another glance told her he was awake and looking

around confusedly. “I have to go. Talk to you later.” She clicked her phone shut and slid it into her pocket, walking back to the couch. “Hey sleepyhead, how are you

feeling?”

Barney didn’t answer her. Instead, he just looked up with a sad face and said “I thought you left.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

Barney shook his head.

Robin slid under the blanket with him. “Then I won’t.”

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“Marshall won’t let me out of that stupid movie tonight,”

“That sucks,” Robin replied, distractedly, checking her phone for the tenth time in ten minutes.

“Are you even listening to me?” Lily demanded.

“What?” Robin looked up, confused, “Yeah, totally.”

“Good. This is important.”

“Right. Because what could be more important than getting out of watching a movie with your husband?”

“He dry-cleaned his Ewok doll.”

“Ew. Point taken.”

Lily leaned over at the bar to see what Robin was staring at in her lap. “Waiting for a call from George Clooney?”

“George Clooney?”

“What? He’s attractive.”

Robin smirked. “I’m not waiting for anything. Just checking the time.”

Lily nodded. “Okay. We’ll pretend that I believe you. But what am I going to do about the movie?”

“Go?” Lily wrinkled her nose. “Sorry Lily, but I can’t think of any way out of it. Marshall knows how stupid you think it is, but he still wants you to go. You should

probably just go. Is it really worth making him sad?”

Lily sighed. “No. Oh! But I wanted to check on Barney.”

“I’ll do it,” Robin volunteered quickly. Lily narrowed her eyes.

“But Ted and Marshall want you there too.”

“Yeah…But one of us should really check on Barney, and I’m not married to one of the Trekkies.”

“Trekkies is Star Trek. This is Star Wars.”

“See? I shouldn’t go. I guess that settles it.” She slung her purse over shoulder, but Lily’s hand on her forearm stopped her from actually leaving. “What?”

Lily gave her an innocent look. “You tell me what.”

“Fine. I…I brought him some soup last night.”

“Soup, huh?” Lily waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“Yes, soup. I brought him soup because he looked so sick at lunch yesterday, and because I wanted him to own up to being sick.”

“Did he?”

“Of course not. And nothing happened. Nothing. We ate soup and fell asleep on the couch. We were like ninety-year old sisters.”

“But you’re worried. Awww! You care about him.”

Robin struggled for words. “Don’t worry,” Lily added, “I care about him too.”

“So can I bail out on Ewok night to go over there?” Robin goaded.

“I have a better idea…”

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Ted opened his door. “Hell no.”

Robin shrugged and pushed him aside. “You invited me. I didn’t even want to come. So Barney is my plus one.”

“You didn’t get a plus one.”

“I cad leave.” Robin grabbed Barney’s arm and dragged him into the apartment, pushing him so he fell into the couch.

“No, you can’t.” Robin turned to address Ted. “You’re my friend, but Barney is my friend too. So if you’re really going to be so selfish that you’ll make me sit through a

stupid teddy bear movie while my friend suffers alone, you’re not a very good person.

“I’m not selfish,” Ted said.

At the same time, Barney added “dod't call it the teddy bear bovie.”

“Yeah Robin, don’t take your frustration over Ted out on Ewoks. They are fuzzy, loveable creatures that have done nothing to harm you. Yet. They can take down an

entire storm trooper if they want.”

Lily leaned toward Robin and whispered, “he is so not getting lucky tonight.”

Robin sat down next to Barney. “We’re about to watch two movies about ewoks. I think we can safely say this is as unlucky as any of us are going to be.”

Lily nodded, but the three men glared at her. “HAHK'Chsh!”

“Bless you!” everyone chorused.

Barney raised his eyebrows, confused, in Ted’s generation. “Thadks.”

Ted nodded awkwardly. “Sure. Do you, uh, want some tea or something?”

Barney shook his head. “I’b fide.” He shifted slightly on the couch, trying in vain to get comfortable. He leaned closer to Robin, who patted him on the leg

subconsciously.

Everyone pretended not to notice.

Marshall popped the first DVD into the player as Lily settled onto the couch on Robin’s other side, and Ted sat on the chair.

As the opening credits rolled, Marshall sat down on the floor in front of Lily and leaned against her legs.

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Lily was the first to fall asleep, using Marshall’s Ewok doll as a pillow, and though Marshall shook her awake every time she dozed off, he eventually gave up and just let

her sleep.

Robin was next, curled up against Barney who turned his head in an attempt to keep from breathing on her.

Ted looked up. “I guess this isn’t their type of movie, huh?”

“Doesd’t look like it,” Barney agreed, blinking lethargically.

“Are you going to fall asleep too?”

“Baybe.”

“Go ahead,” Marshall urged, “you’re sick, it’s cool.”

“I’b dot sick,” Barney argued. “Just ti-Eksch'Hfft!-red.”

Robin stirred. “Bless you.”

Barney winced. “Sorry. I did’t bead to wake you.”

“It’s cool.” She yawned and rubbed her eyes. When she had cleared the sleep from them, she had a clearer view of Barney. “Oy, you look even more awful. I’ll get you

something to drink.”

She was stopped by a hand on her leg. “Stay?”

Robin shrugged. “Suit yourself.” Stretched out her arms, feeling squished between her sleeping best friend and her…Barney.

Ted stood up and disappeared into the kitchen, coming back with three beers and a water bottle.

“Thanks,” Robin said, giving Ted an approving smile as she popped open her beer and twisted the top off Barney’s water bottle for him.

Ted responded by tossing his Ewok doll to Barney so he could join Lily in dreamland. He made a nonchalant hand motion. “I guess Ewok night brings out the best in

me,” he muttered.

“Ewoks, good beer, and good friends,” Marshall agreed. “What more could you want?”

Ted smiled, taking a long sip from his own bottle, and settled himself deeper into the chair.

HIMYM**********HIMYM**********HIMYM**********HIMYM**********HIMYM

So, kids, that is the story behind the giant Ewok dolls in the closet. They aren’t creepy alien bears, like your mother called them before she shoved them in the closet,

but a strong symbol of friendship and a classic get-well gift. Have you ever seen the Ewoks movies? No? Well, I have them around here somewhere…….

[27jj]

Haha, so much Ewok-y goodness lately:)

I love this show, I don’t watch it nearly enough. But I really loved this story a lot! So many good thing…I lovvved the denial. And the epic fail of a stifle. And Marshall calling Barney on having to sneeze. And the way everyone kept offering him tea:) Just to name a few.

[MusicaDiabolos]

Lol EWOKS!!!! Star Wars fans UNITE!!!!!

That's really funny, and very cute. NPH is super awesome.

[Sawyer]

OHMYGOD I totally forgot that you had me for Secret Santa! THIS IS SUCH AN EXCELLENT SURPRISE. Dude!! I had butterflies in my stomach THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS READING THIS. SERIOUSLY. You have no idea!

Your characterization was SO PERFECT. Like, the dialogue, man! I could totally hear everyone's voices/tones as I read it. Eeee! Lily and Barney have such a cute friendship. Ah, she's so funny. And he's so funny. And it was so perfect. And omg.

"Marshall's teddy bear movie" OH MY GOD LOL. So awesome! I love how caring and concerned she is! Seriously, I'm like, stifling squeals here.

Oh, also:

“Wanna have sex? She asked quietly.

Marshall was suddenly wide awake again. “Yes I do.”

LOLOL omg seriously, YOU ARE AMAZING. AND LOL THE HOMER SIMPSON THING. Lovelovelovelove! Marshall and Barney are too perfect. Marshall's such a nice guy. I love Barney's cute congested articulation!

“No, that. You’re sneezing and blowing your nose.”

“Doh I’b dot. Dod’t be silly Robid.”

asdfjshdfjkshflkasa YES. So perfect! That whole scene (and the entire thing, really) was just so THEM!

“Dude. If you can’t pronounce ‘fine,’ you’re not fine. Rule number one of faking well.”

OMG YES, I LOVE THAT. And the thing with Robin! SHE TRICKED HIM GOOD, SHE DID. and when she brought him to the teddy bear movie! YES YES YES asdjfhjkfhfka seriously, though, you made my week. So much. I can't stress that enough!

YOU'RE AWESOME. Thank you!

[ooo]

This is so cute and so funny! I laughed so hard at "Marshall's teddy bear movie". And all the caretaking was so sweet

I especially loved this bit:

“Do you want me to leave?”

Barney shook his head.

Robin slid under the blanket with him. “Then I won’t.”

[Selene]

I can just second what everybody else said so far, your story is really incredibly good. You perfectly captured the style of the story. I especially loved the dialogue and detail of the story and it was a pleasure to read it and to talk to you about it. Thank you for letting me help