(Secret Santa: glowstick03) The Better Twin

[PaperThings]

Prompt: George sneezing (for whatever reason) while hiding after pulling a prank! I'm open on whether or not it gets him caught.

A/N: As you can probably tell from the story section, I decided to go ahead and do all three of the prompts you gave me. I think they're all going to be only one part, but they're all pretty far over 1000 words, so I hope that's okay. This is set sometime during HBP, presumably during Spring, but noy during any discernible chapter. I REALLY hope you like it! I did my absolute best trying to get their voices right, but I'm so sorry if they aren't how you imagine them. I'm also really sorry that the prank is so dumb... I had trouble thinking of one.

"Where is he?" Fred asked, slamming his butterbeer goblet onto the table. "It isn't as if we've got galleons of time."

George smiled slightly, raising an eyebrow to his brother. "You don't suppose being a big Quidditch star takes up his time at all, do you?"

With a snort, Fred turned away. He had half a mind to return to the shop before their lunch with Oliver Wood, should their former teammate's arrival take too long. What with the approaching war and peril, he felt they needed to be around the shop at all times. Verity was a nice girl, but hardly capable of keeping things up to Weasley standards; though not a worrier, Fred worried nearly constantly when both he and George took time off from work. George would usually worry as well, but not today. There were other issues at hand.

"Mate, did you see the waitress?" Fred asked, leaning forward. The annoyance had gone from his freckled face, replaced by an encouraging sort of smirk. "She's no Madame Rosmerta," he said, adding a slight sneer, "but you know..."

George shook his head. "After seeing what you went through with Angelina? I'd rather not, thank you." When Fred shrugged and turned back to the menu, he gave his nose a quick wipe with his thumb. Why did they have to sit outside, of all places? It wasn't as if Diagon Alley had so many outdoor areas to eat, and yet Fred had picked the one with garden-side tables. George nearly wondered if Fred was doing this simply to annoy him, drive him back to the shop perhaps, or if his brother really had forgotten the singular difference between them. Either seemed plausible at the moment. Sighing, he nudged his head pointedly away from the taunting peonies. Even from the distance of the table, the pollen drifted up his nose in aggravating swells, making his nostrils ache with itches. He wondered how long it would be before he had to remind Fred of the slight chasm between their similarities.

"You know, it wouldn't have to be more than a bit of snogging, really," Fred said, leaning forward on his elbows. "You wouldn't have to go through what I did with Angie."

"Forget it, Fred," George said. There were not many times one had to convince the other of anything, but George's love life was becoming a topic of occasional argument. To change the subject, he cleared his throat and turned back to Wood's absence. "You know, I think we've been gone for nearly an hour," he said. "Wonder if Verity's sold the place by now."

Growling under his breath, Fred chugged his butterbeer with a scowl. "I have half a mind to - "

It crept up on George unexpectedly, seizing him round the shoulders before he could begin to ward it off. The irritants overcame the thin barricade remaining in his nose, and he felt his breath quiver uselessly as his eyes drew shut. He did not terribly mind sneezing in front of Fred, close as they were, but the allergies bothered him all the same. They slowed him down, which was a chief annoyance on most days, and they were something he had that Fred did not. That was enough to make him hate the seasonal slip of sneezes. Fred's words faded in his ears, and he brought a pale hand up to clamp his flaring nostrils closed. "Hehh-hehKKggnXXt!" The stifle made a very muffled sound, so quiet that Fred did not seem to notice. At least, he did not stop talking.

"...half a mind to remind him the business we're in. Do you agree with me, Georgie?" His sly tone, not to mention George's rarely-used nickname, revealed his sudden malicious intentions. However, George felt the feeling build in his nose once again, and he did not reply just yet. Instead, he raised a shaky finger.

His jaw dropped, lips billowing under his magnified breath. He truly hated this moment, this stalling moment. It was like waiting for a Skiving Snackbox to take effect, or for a particularly nasty curse to hit its victim: you knew how glorious and rewarding the moment of realization would be, but you could hardly stand to wait for it. Just as he thought he might die from that prickly sensation of in-between, his eyes pinched protectively together as the sound clamped out his mouth. "NnnggTT!" His breath continued to race, stronger than ever, and he felt the second one hit him before he had fully prepared. "Enn-- shuu! Hahh'nnSHUU!" He was hunched into his hands by the end of it, panting with exertion. He had a feeling he wasn't over.

Now Fred had indeed stopped talking, and stared at him with a funny look. "Oh, Merlin, I'd forgotten," he said, after a moment. "You -"

"I'm alright," he muttered, wondering why his cheeks felt so hot. Was it because the waitress's eyes were on him now? Not exactly delirious with desire?

"No, you're not," Fred replied, sitting back, hands behind his head. "You have allergies this time of year. Good Godric, how did I forget that?"

George smiled, deluding the situation with humor as they always attempted to do. "You've only known me for eighteen years. There's no reason for you to to remember such a minor detail."

"Minor? Didn't Mum have to take you to St. Mungo's one year?" Fred asked, bemused. He frowned, guilt souring the taste of the butterbeer. They were twins; he should have known such a thing. He should have avoided putting George in such discomfort.

"Perhaps we shouldn't focus on that," George replied. He was still smiling though, and soon Fred's cheer returned as well.

"How about we play a short trick on Oliver," Fred said, "should he show up, and then leave straight after. Eh?"

"Excellent," George replied, sniffing. Allergies or no allergies, a good prank would certainly brighten his day. "What do you think we should do?" He immediately began rummaging through his pockets, as was the natural beginning of a prank. "I don't think I brought anything from the shop."

Fred grinned. "Perhaps we give our good friend something a bit crueler, for forgetting that we have jobs to do?" Always the less kind of the pair, Fred rubbed his hands together in thought. "I have some spare galleons on me. Suppose we pay the waitress to tell old Oliver that we've been arrested on the corner. U No Poo is now against Ministry regulations." He smirked, proud of his idea, and George considered.

"Certainly wouldn't be surprising," he said. They wore matching smiles now, and Fred gave George's shoulder a nudge.

"Would you like to settle it with her, or shall I?"

Usually incapable of embarrassment, George found his gaze downcast this once. He did not feel like talking to many people today. "No, you go," he said. "I'll pay for the butterbeers." He swung some stray sickles onto the table, and did a quick spell to clear the napkins and glasses of evidence. It was a simple prank, amateur-level really, but they would pull it off with the Weasley excellence. He was sure of that, anyway. Feeling his nose begin to itch again, he dug through his pockets a second time for anything he might use as a handkerchief. They were sadly empty, and he vowed to begin carrying one with him at all times.

Fred returned in seconds, gloating, and tapped George's arm. "She said alright. Thinks it's pretty funny too, I'd say. How bout we find a place to hide?"

"Hide?" He laughed hoarsely. "This is a bit juvenile, even for us, isn't it?"

"Who cares?" Fred replied, tapping his foot anxiously. "If he doesn't show up within the hour, we can forget it."

"Alright, I'm coming," George said. He shook his head to clear it, wondering why he would protest a prank, anyway. Of course, they were usually Fred's ideas. They were just born that way: Fred was better at leading, at spearheading. But that didn't mean George was any less enthusiastic over their practical jokes; not under normal circumstances, anyway.

"How about in here?" Fred asked. He gestured grandly towards a patch between two boulders, just deep in the garden enough that they'd be concealed from any passersby. "I wish we'd agreed to meet in Hogsmeade," he said sourly. "Far better shops, don't you think?"

George looked around. It was true, but only as of late. The war put a damper on nearly all of Diagon Alley's spirit. It was a miracle this outdoor cafe had even remained open. "The students aren't allowed to go to Hogsmeade anymore, though," he reminded Fred. "Wouldn't be much of a picnic there either."

"I s'pose that's true."

They shifted into place behind the rocks, and George sniffed furiously in an attempt to clear his nose. A terrible idea on his part, as they were literally surrounded by flowers. Allergies: the one malady in the world that a Weasley twin did not take in stride. He sniffed again, aggravated.

"You alright there, mate?" Fred asked. "When we return to the shop, I'm sure we can find a potion of some sort." He clapped George's back.

"Fred? D'you ever wonder why only I've got allergies?" George asked. He felt his nose sear with scrambling pain, frantically alive with the wafting pollen, and he gave it a sturdy pinch.

Fred shrugged, grinning broadly. "Clearly the same reason Angelina went to the Yule Ball with me, and not you. I am the better twin."

George could manage no more than a short laugh. He feared if he spoke, he would give the pollen ample time to reassemble. What was taking Wood so long? Couldn't he show up already?

Always the expert on reading his brother's facial expressions, Fred gave a whisper of advice. "Better get those sneezes out now, Georgie. You don't want to ruin the surprise when Oliver gets here."

It was a good point, yet it reinforced George's strong belief that this prank was simply beneath them. They were experts, practically legends in the book of tricks: why would they play a joke as stupid as this one? Recognizing Fred's wisdom though, he dropped the hold on his nose with a sigh. It took only a moment for the irritants to begin their conquest, and George felt his body readying within ten seconds. It wasn't like a cold, where the symptoms came and went throughout their course. Had he given his nose permission, it probably would have gone on to sneeze all day. "Hih! Hihhnnn'CHH!" The stifle made a squealing noise, alighting his reddened nostrils with fresh pain. He cupped his hands, surrendering full control just as his features contorted wildly against the impending motions. Quick as a snap of his fingers, he felt his pale eyelashes thrash against his cheeks. "Huhhshuhh!"

He relaxed slightly, but felt certain that the sneezes were not done. Dealing with the flowers was a bit like climbing a mountain: you might stumble a bit on the climb, hence the sneezes, but only once you reached the top could you truly fall off. Resigned to his misery, he just hoped the sneezes would wait until a convenient time.

"Wait, I hear something." Fred leaned forward, crowding the alcove even further as he strained to hear. Feeling suffocated, George leaned back in the hopes of gaining some space, and then accidentally inhaled more of the sickeningly sweet scent. He flattened his nose between his palms, ignoring the claws that gnawed against the flaps of skin. Pained, he hardly heard a word Fred grumbled.

"That's him, alright," Fred muttered, pressing his ear between the boulders. "He's wondering where we are." Fred snorted. "It isn't as if I didn't want to see him, you know," he said, oblivious to George's discomfort. "But we have a shop to run. It's even harder in these times, and hardly can spend five hours waiting for him - oh, he's asking the waitress about us." Practically giddy, Fred snickered to himself. Cooped up inside all day, they rarely had time to play good jokes anymore. Even a silly one like this brought back memories of all the good times they'd shared. Pranks that would go down in history.

"Heh..." The sound skirted between each barrier George had set, and Fred rounded on him in alarm.

"You aren't going to do that now, are you?" he asked, scratching at his red hair. "You can't, George." His twin didn't - couldn't - reply. "You'll get us caught." He put his eye on level with George, almost sounding sad. "We barely ever get caught." Noticing George had lodged himself in a fairly stagnate position of resistance, he sighed and hurried back over to the boulder crease. "I missed it!" he hissed. "He's walking away. Doesn't seem too upset, either. You think he knows it's a joke?"

George didn't answer. "Fred," he muttered, after a second, the name underlined with heavy pants. "If he's leaving then can I - can I hehh - "

"Go ahead," Fred said, sighing. "It hardly matters now."

"Hehshhhh!" He caught it in his hands, nearly sighing with the relief of it. But he was not done: he'd held them back long enough, and now the sneezes intended to push him straight down to the bottom of the climb, so to speak. He inhaled enormously, fingers shifting to wipe at his watering eyes. "Hehh'hhh - " Sensing that his hands would not be enough, he leaned the crook of his elbow against his doubly red nose. Raw sinuses clashed rather badly with an already-freckled face. "HehhSHOO! EhhSHUH! IGGGSHU!" The faucet cut off abruptly, leaving him stuffy but temporarily itch-free. He sighed and leaned back, eyes shut.

"George? Fred?"

The latter twin cursed. "He's found us," he said. George smiled lightly, shrugging in apology. The sneezes had felt too good for him to apologize.

"Hello there, Wood," Fred said, kicking the stones away with his feet. "Why so late?"

"Why so late? Why so late?" Oliver echoed back, sputtering. "She said that..." he gestured to the waitress, then shook his head. "Of course, I expected it wasn't entirely true, but I still wondered where you'd gone."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "You didn't think we'd simply leave if you were an hour late?"

"An hour late?" Oliver frowned. "I'm ten minutes early, aren't I? Didn't we say two thirty?"

"One thirty," Fred corrected. "How did you know it was us, anyway?"

"Well, everyone knows about George's allergies, don't they?" he asked.

Fred gaped. "Not me! I forgot about them."

"You forget every year," George replied, red-rimmed eyes smiling at him. "Oliver," he began, desperate to get inside, "would you like a tour of the shop? Rather than lunch, I mean?"

"Alright. That would be wonderful," Oliver replied.

They exited the restaurant together, and Oliver offered George his handkerchief as a sort of apology. He took it, saying that all was certainly forgiven. Fred was less sure. He was entirely certain they'd decided on one thirty, and the failed prank seemed to have put him in a bad mood. Only when they arrived to the shop did Fred smile, his eyes suddenly on George.

"We'll pull a joke on Mum later, alright Fred?" George asked. Fred tilted his head in confused. "Don't be angry with Oliver," George elaborated, "or about the joke. It was a stupid one, anyway, and we can do better."

Now Fred grinned ear to ear, his eyes carefully fixed on George's face. "My prank worked fine, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"Angelina broke up with my for you, you git," he said, the smile never leaving his face. "You know that. I thought, in exchange, I might..."

"Take me to a restaurant surrounded with flowers?" George laughed. "That was a good one, Fred. Pretending you'd forgotten."

Fred considered this. "It was a good one, wasn't it? Though of course, it would have been better if we'd planned it together." They grinned at one another, unable to be angry with each other. "You're alright though, aren't you?"

"Oh, fine," George replied, lazily waving a hand. "Allergies would have gotten to me sooner or later anyway." He paused. "You really don't know why I have them and you don't, do you?"

"I already told you," Fred said, beaming as he held open the shop door for Oliver. "It's because I'm the better twin."

---

I really hope it was somewhat what you imagined!

[27jj]

Haha, I liked this one:) Fred and George are great characters, and I loved the prompt. And this was funny, cause on of the differences between my twin sister and I is that she had allergies and I don't!

[anon]

i love this! fred and george are my favorites !!

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Wow, that was great! Loved the story. Poor Georgie. XD

[ooo]

This fic was so much fun to read! I love Fred and George, and I liked that you had one with allergies and one without! Poor George

I especially LOVED this bit:

George didn't answer. "Fred," he muttered, after a second, the name underlined with heavy pants. "If he's leaving then can I - can I hehh - "

"Go ahead," Fred said, sighing. "It hardly matters now."

"Hehshhhh!" He caught it in his hands, nearly sighing with the relief of it. But he was not done: he'd held them back long enough, and now the sneezes intended to push him straight down to the bottom of the climb, so to speak. He inhaled enormously, fingers shifting to wipe at his watering eyes. "Hehh'hhh - " Sensing that his hands would not be enough, he leaned the crook of his elbow against his doubly red nose. Raw sinuses clashed rather badly with an already-freckled face. "HehhSHOO! EhhSHUH! IGGGSHU!" The faucet cut off abruptly, leaving him stuffy but temporarily itch-free. He sighed and leaned back, eyes shut.

[Always]

loved it

[TheCakeIsAlive]

This fic was so much fun to read! I love Fred and George, and I liked that you had one with allergies and one without! Poor George

I especially LOVED this bit:

George didn't answer. "Fred," he muttered, after a second, the name underlined with heavy pants. "If he's leaving then can I - can I hehh - "

"Go ahead," Fred said, sighing. "It hardly matters now."

"Hehshhhh!" He caught it in his hands, nearly sighing with the relief of it. But he was not done: he'd held them back long enough, and now the sneezes intended to push him straight down to the bottom of the climb, so to speak. He inhaled enormously, fingers shifting to wipe at his watering eyes. "Hehh'hhh - " Sensing that his hands would not be enough, he leaned the crook of his elbow against his doubly red nose. Raw sinuses clashed rather badly with an already-freckled face. "HehhSHOO! EhhSHUH! IGGGSHU!" The faucet cut off abruptly, leaving him stuffy but temporarily itch-free. He sighed and leaned back, eyes shut.

YES, that was my favourite bit as well! Pure amazingness!

[dumpling]

I love Fred and George <3

This was awesome

[glowstick03]

I totally didn't realize that you wrote all three of these prompts when I read the other one!!! Oh my goodness, I feel so loved!

This one was amazing too...I really, really love George, but since he's a supporting character, there are never any fics about him, so this totally makes my day

Again, thank you PaperThings! Awesome work.