I can't do this forever...

[NewGirl]

I don't know if i've ever written a post before. I'm too afraid, i'm a MAJORLY closeted member of this group and this community, and it makes me cringe when I read on here when you all have told people, or had people induce for you. OMG i would just die of embarrassment. I'm all for the natural context b/c i'm just so incredibly embarrassed about this.

That's kinda what my post is about, i'm wondering if anyone else out there feels embarrassed that this is part of them. I have a friend who i'm very attracted to and he came over to watch tv and hang out and had a major allergy attack. He sneezed 8 times (i of course counted) and I feel like I was almost instigating it b/c i've discovered that if he goes out onto the porch and then comes back into the room, he ends up sneezing a few minutes after he comes in (i have a cat and he's allergic). So I was constantly asking him to go out to smoke a cigarette. He left a little bit ago b/c his eyes were burning literally tears coming out and he couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted to just take care of him, and have him stay over longer but, well, that's not normal so of course it's like 'ok bye.'

I don't know, this probably sounds like babbling. It just blows my mind sometimes, i'm a graduate student, 25 years old, and THIS is what turns me on the most? Sorry if that was too sexual for the younger crowd, haha, cut it out if it's too much.

Anyways, what are all of your thoughts on this? Are you embarrassed? Do you feel like it's a terrible curse that you'll have to carry around forever? b/c I cant imagine having to carry this around forever, i mean, i can't possibly live my life excited every time my husband sneezes. This just can't be real! It's definitely a curse for me.

I might be unique in that I get MUCH pleasure in blessing someone, so sneezes that come from a distance or while i'm preoccupied are not nearly as fun. I think that has some basis in nurturing and intimacy but i'm not sure. haha. I swear i'm not a psychology student.

Also like many of you, i've had this for a long long time, middle school or maybe even earlier. Memories will sometimes pop up in my mind of seeing TV shows when I was little and being fascinated by a character sneezing. So yea, this is a long time running thing. I honestly think it has something to do with the way we view intimacy, our 'nurturing' side is like over-developed. I also very much enjoy crying (not nearly as much as this though).

Anyways, this post is a hodge podge but I really really wanted to send it. I'm almost too scared to post it for fear that someone I know would see. Man, the embarrassment is strong. This post has been a long time coming.

-(not so) newgirl

[Jorm]

I definitely have moments of embarrassment around having this fetish, but, well, I guess being part of this community for as long as I have has helped me really get over that. There are still times when I get a little embarrassed, but for the most part it doesn't really bother me. I've told a couple of people about it and there have been some awkward moments because of it, not because they thought it was weird, just because it was weird for ME to be talking about it to someone who didn't share the fetish. It's definitely not something I wish I didn't have though. Most of the time I don't really feel any need to share the fact that I have a sneezing fetish with anyone, it doesn't really affect most people so there's really no need for them to know. It's more fun if it's my private little secret anyway! I get to watch and get wonderful pleasure out of seeing people sneeze without anyone ever knowing a thing!

[The Mute Poet]

Hello NewGirl, and welcome to the forum.

I do remember a time (I want to say around when I was 15-16) where I couldn't imagine living with the fetish for the rest of my life. Not necessarily in the sense that I was ashamed of it, or that I wished I didn't have it... but I was just at a loss as to how the hell I was supposed to have a "normal" romantic relationshop later in life when the fetish played such a huge part in my personality and my sexuality. I think it's especially difficult for us because "normal" people have more-or-less intuitive maps of what a "standard" sexual relationship between two people will be like (be it in sex-ed class or the mass media), so I think alot of people around us have at least a slightly more comfortable sense of "ok, it's going to be something like that". But us? We're the ones sitting there in class thinking "Well... I guess it would be something like that if I didn't find sneezes hotter or at least as hot as a naked member of the opposite sex. So... where do I fit in?". And there's no easy answer that we're going to happen to see on a primetime FOX drama...

BUT, in my personal experience that's where this forum has come in and played a huge role in how I looked at all of this. I'd be tempted to say that for all of us, the fetish is something that we're stuck with, for better or worse - a fundamental part of who we are. And I think when you spend so long living in "isolation" thinking you're the only one who likes sneezing in this way, then it can be very easy to see it as a curse. But the forum gave me a place where I could (finally!) freely express my thoughts about anything and everything concerning the fetish... and to be honest just that in itself was a huge help for me. Just being able to discuss something with like-minded people can go huge lengths in helping you become more comfortable with it - here the fetish isn't a dark secret, or shameful burden, or potential embarassment - it's part of who we are, and over time, just working with that radically different perspective has helped me view it as a special part of who I am that I've actually become quite proud of.

All I can suggest is to just give it time, and to use the full resources these forums make available to you to explore and grow with regards to how you perceive your fetish. I'm sure there are plenty of other stories of members who NEVER dreamed they'd come to terms with this part of themselves who've made absolutely huge strides just from having participated here. Hang in there, and remember that we were all (and some still are) in exactly your spot before, so we're all here and more than willing to help you in any way you need - that's exactly why this place exists.

[Nova]

I have people around me that tease my for my fetish (and people here that knows what buttons to push! - which is a lovely kind of embarrassed), and sometimes that's enough to make me flushed. So I am uncomfortable at times, but never so much that I actually feel -bad- for long times after it. And I can't remember being embarrassed without anyone pointing out something.

Like Ouroboros said, I think that this forum might very well be able to help you get over your embarrassment if you muster the courage to talk about what makes you feel this way – like you have, here – and if you also talk about what makes you feel good about your fetish. I think that speaking about both sides of it will make the thought of it all more comfortable, since you'll get more used to it. I'm sure many here share and have shared your problem.

Be proud of yourself! You might end up considering this a gift, not a curse! It's like falling in love over, and over and over again. <3

[March Hare]

I'll have to agree with everybody around here. This forum, this community, is a GREAT help.

I used to be embarrassed, too. But I never really regarded it a a curse, I don't think. More like, "shit, nobody is ever going to be able to TRULY satisfy me, because how could I EVER tell anyone about this?!" I didn't even know that my fascination and sexual attraction to cold and allergy symptoms, especially sneezing, was called a 'fetish'. And then I wound up here, and man, the revelations!

It started with learning to enjoy things like fiction and observations and art, enjoying them secretly but without guilt or embarrassment. This took some practice, some getting used to. .wav files followed (not really my thing at first, but that too gets easier with time), and later on, YT vids.

Finding pleasure online without having to tell anyone who doesn't have the fetish is what it starts with. Reading like-minded people's stories and getting inspiration from them. Most important for you, I think, is to come to terms with the fact that the fetish is indeed a part of you, and that this is not a bad thing at all. It's a good thing! Anything that makes you derive intense pleasure from something quite ordinary MUST be a good thing, right?

So that idea of its being a curse... it's a lie, my dear. Don't listen to it. As Ouro says, it can be SUCH a delicious fun little secret of your very own. To share with only yourself (and people round here who understand you completely and sympathise ). You've got this for enjoying, and enjoying is the best thing you can do with it.

Take your time. Have a lot of good looks around. Think about it. Don't give up too soon if it doesn't work at first, if the curse-lie seems to persist. YOU decide. It isn't likely to go away, this fetish (unless maybe with extensive, expensive and expansive therapy), and if it did, it would be rather a waste.

Ask for help, advice, or a virtual ear any time. Good luck and have a good time!

[Celeb Obsessed]

I agree with Maru-chan and The Mute Poet. I sometimes feel overwhelmed when I think about how I'll fare in a romantic relationship if I need my boyfriend/husband's sneezes in order to be turned on. It's a lot easier to talk to someone about normal sex, but imagine asking the teacher in sex ed, "What do I do if a guy's sneezes turn me on?" But I guess if I'm really close with my boyfriend and we talk about everything...maybe this won't be so bad? Although if he induces for me or something, that'll be weird as hell (at least at first).

I also agree with what the others said about this forum making me more comfortable with this part of myself. I used to think that I'd never be able to tell anyone about my fetish, but I told my sister a few years ago, and she convinced me to tell my mom, which is still one of my biggest regrets. :blushing: However, they don't look at me funny when someone sneezes, and my sister once told me that she remembers about my fetish like once every six months for two seconds. And recently I made another breakthrough and told one of my girl friends, and she thought it was really cool about it and thought it was really interesting. Although I hope she doesn't giggle now every time her fiance sneezes.

So yeah, it gets easier with time, and I know it will for you too. Enjoy the fetish; you can't imagine how happy I am to have something this cool!

[polychrome]

Welcome to the world of posting more

I agree with a lot of what others have said. I think the more you work things out within yourself to accept the fetish the more pleasure you'll be able to get out of it, and the less you will feel that it "interferes" with your life. I think the more we try to hide from ourselves, the more miserable we get and isolated we feel. Good luck, I hope you can find some enjoyment for yourself.

[stevie_sloth]

Hmm...I'm never embarrassed to HAVE this fetish...but NOBODY knows about it. GOD NO! I will NEVER tell anyone in real life, EVER. I WOULD be embarrassed then I suppose, but because nobody knows, I'm not embarrassed NOW. lol If that makes sense?

I've come to terms with who I am in this particular way. It's just one of the many aspects that make up my overall personality, and it doesn't DEFINE me or OWN me or anything. It's an enjoyable thing. It's fun, it's a turn on, it brings a little spark to my life. Nothin wrong with that, eh?!

My only issue which has actually only become obvious to me lately is that I am now sort of ONLY turned on by things related to this fetish. "Normal" things don't do it for me anymore. And THAT sucks.

[Honkytonklagoon]

Hello Newish Girl.

My guess is that probably almost everyone has something. If not sneezing, then... You fill in the blank. I think we all have to take it a little bit of a time. " i can't possibly live my life excited every time my husband sneezes." You aren't there yet, so concentrate more on now. At the next opportunity, maybe you won't encourage your friend to go out and smoke so much. Then you won't feel so guilty.

Your hodgepodge was interesting though. Lots to think about. But I don't consider it a curse. It's more of a mixed -- ahhh-chephh -- blessing.

I hope you write again.

[stevie_sloth]

I live my life excited whenever my partner sneezes...I love it and look forward to it! It's all just a bonus to everyday living.

[metalchild19701]

Newgirl,

Your post really struck a chord with me. I'm 26, also a grad student (not in psych, either), and I feel similarly unsure about how to reconcile this one particular part of myself with the rest of me. I've been posting short responses on the forum recently in an attempt to be slightly... explorative... about the fetish. Right now it's mostly responses and encouragements to observations that I really enjoy, but I'm hoping to move on to more in-depth posts. Hopefully, this helps move me along through that process.

It sounds like other respondents have voiced some good advice. I like the suggestion of posting more, as even my infrequent responses and encouragements have made me more comfortable with thinking about the fetish. And to be honest, that's a level that I hadn't really arrived at until quite recently. I enjoyed it when I could, whether that was through real life observations, reading observations on here, or the like, but I never really *thought* about it. I imagined why I have it, and I'm pretty sure I know the answer to that, but my reluctance to post on this forum, I think, was more a manifestation of me not exploring my own fetish than it was me being afraid of being caught. Who from my real life is going to find out that I'm on here? No one! That's the beauty, I'm beginning to see, of an online community such as this.

At the same time, I don't feel embarrassed or ashamed of sorry that I have this particular fetish. Would it be easier in some ways if it was a more mainstream fetish? Absolutely. But that doesn't make me hate that I have it. Luckily, for me, there are other things that I enjoy, and I can think about and enjoy those to my heart's content. As for the sneezing fetish, my girlfriend happens to be particularly sneezy. I enjoy it when it happens, don't lament it when it doesn't. At the same time, I'm finding that the more I post on here, the more "okay" I feel about it and the more I understand how it makes up a part of my own sexuality. And it's just that- a part of it. And I think it's important for you to remember that, as well. There's rarely any single activity, fetish, enjoyment etc. that defines a person. So try not to think of the fetish as inhibiting your own life, because I think that the more you write about it (aka post) and think about it, you'll find that it doesn't.

Best of luck!

[Lynne]

Yes, it embarrasses me incredibly, and I would never willingly tell anyone about it. It pretty much ruined what was left of my marriage when my then-husband snooped on my computer (we each had our own, and he wanted to see what had me so totally engrossed when I first registered on the forum). I couldn't face him anymore, and whenever he sneezed after that, it nearly made me physically ill (now I'm ok with it, and I know he knows, and we can still be friends, but I couldn't live with it at the time).

Fortunately, I'm dating a fellow fetishist, and while it's a fun part of our relationship, it's by no means the basis for it, so it adds a little something, a little public intimacy that has been missing from previous relationships, and it's sort of like a little frosting on the cake

But no, I'm with you, I would never actively tell anyone (well, I suppose I did when I joined the forum, but to me, that was somewhat painless because it wasn't face-to-face, and I got to know people here gradually afterward.

[emerald]

Oh my goodness, NewGirl, I feel like I could have written this post myself. A lot of it, anyway.

I'm almost twice your age and would never DREAM of telling anyone about my fetish. I have come to terms with it as part of who I am, but I feel like I would rather die than let anybody know.

I'm very happily married, by the way, but oddly enough my husband's sneezes do nothing for me. We have a great sex life, though, so I don't think you need to worry about that.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It helps to know that I'm not alone.

[just an average fun girl]

Hun u should not feel embaressed because as weird as a sneezing fetish is (I'm insulting myself too) I've heard and seen a lot worse that its pretty mild...ever heard of a space monkey? ....ya I can't see myself being sexually stimulated when I could potentially die

[sneezes]

before i found this forum i was wondering what to do about it but now im fine with it but i would never want to tell anyone about it i couldnt look them in the face again lol!