Cylons Catch Colds, Too (BSG Boomer/Starbuck F/F)

[wannablessedbe]

OK, so I just started watching Battlestar Galactica...I know, I'm way behind the times (and I've only seen the first 9 eps, so plz don' tell me what happens people). I've just never been that into scifi; and I only just found out that this show is apparently so badass that even people who don't usually like scifi can't help loving it! I was immediately taken by the idea of Starbuck & Boomer as a couple—yeah, I know Boomer's a cylon, but SHE doesn't know that, and I just can't help having a crush on her. She's just so adorable and plucky! And she really pings my gaydar, too. Yes, I know her character is supposed to be straight...and so is Starbuck, officially...but come ON. Even before I saw the show I knew she had a ginormous lesbian following!

In case there is anyone out there who actually hasn't seen this show yet either, here's a pic of Boomer (aka Lieutenant Sharon Valerii); and here's one of Starbuck (aka Lieutenant Kara Thrace).

I know, gorgeous, right? They're both fighter pilots; Starbuck is the lead pilot, so technically she's Boomer's superior. Boomer is a cylon (robot) but she doesn't know it; she's been programmed to think she's human. I choose to believe she's still a real person (whatever that means) and that she's fundamentally good, and somehow she'll resist her programming when the cylons eventually try to re-program her to attack the humans; but the truth is, I have no idea what's gonna happen (DON'T TELL ME). I just can't stop thinking about these two hooking up! And of course, I've always been especially intrigued by the idea of a superhuman-type character catching a cold...so how does a cylon get the sniffles? Read and find out!

Final note-- this is set early in S1 (cuz that's all I've seen so far), and of course it's also somewhat AU. I switched Starbuck in for Helo, and I'm making the Boomer she's with the “real” Boomer from Galactica, not the impostor that the cylons sent in. Oh, and if you haven't seen BSG, just know that they say “frak” instead of fuck. I'm pretty sure that's all you need to know. On with the show!

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Cylons Catch Colds, Too

Part 1

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Of course it was raining. If you're going to lose your entire planet to an invasion of murderous robots, then get left behind after your raptor is shot down only to give up your own seats to a civilian rescue mission, then naturally it only stands to reason that you'll be rewarded for your selfless deeds with three days of walking through the woods in the pouring rain, freezing cold and starving, with the constant threat of cylon attack hanging over your shoulder at every turn. Not that Boomer considered herself a "glass half empty" kind of person— but after the events of the last few days, she suspected that there might not be a single optimist left in the entire human race. That was assuming there were still people out there somewhere who'd escaped the initial attack. But there had to be. Galactica, at least, had to be out there somewhere. If not, what was the point of running around Caprica in the pouring rain, trying to find a way off the planet and back to their crew? Their ship had to be out there somewhere.

"I don't think there's anybody out there, Shar. C'mon, stay behind me and we'll find some cover, okay?" Lieutenant Kara Thrace— Starbuck, to her pilots— pushed her dripping blonde hair off her forehead and nodded toward the apparently abandoned outskirts of Caprica City, where they'd been camped out looking for signs of activity— human or cylon— for the better part of a day, without making a move, until they were sure it was safe to advance.

"Ohh-k-k-kay," Boomer stuttered through her chattering teeth, drawing her weapon and trying her best to hold it steady at her side as her whole body shook with violent shivers. Starbuck looked back at her with one eyebrow raised, giving the dark-skinned girl a frank appraisal through the pelting downpour.

"You gonna make it, Boomer? You look like you're gonna pass the frak out any minute."

"You're the one with the stab wound, sir. I'm f-fine, j-just frakin' freezing out here. So how about we d-do the stealth thing and f-f-find ourselves some frakin' cover bef-f-fore we both freeze to death?" Boomer snarled, and Starbuck actually grinned a little through the cold. Boomer didn't usually bother calling her sir when no one else was around. Unless she was trying to get a rise off her, of course. And right now, they could certainly both use a little levity.

"Okay, soldier, no need for your sass," Kara winked. "Stay low and follow me." Lieutenant Valerii did as she was told, crouching down as low as her stiff muscles would allow, and following her commanding officer from the relative safety of the thick green woods, into the abandoned streets of the city that had until recently been their home. They didn't speak after that, communicating only with eye contact and small gestures as they slipped silently through the rain-soaked streets. Finally, they tracked the military signal they'd been following to a small restaurant; once inside, they stood up straight and began to look around, confused as to how or why a military beacon would be coming from such a clearly civilian location.

"Do you think this is right? Maybe all that rain got into the transponder and mucked up the signal," Boomer murmured quietly, squeezing out her long dark hair with a satisfying splatter.

"Maybe," Starbuck nodded absently, her bright aqua-blue eyes darting quickly around the small room, taking in all the details in a heartbeat. "Could be a trap...keep your weapon out until I say differently."

"Yes, sir," Boomer muttered, sniffling softly and rubbing her cold pink nose on the back of her wrist. They began to sweep the small space in silence. Boomer sniffled again.

"Ssh!" Starbuck hissed, throwing her fellow soldier an exasperated look.

"I can't help it, my nose is running," Boomer whispered defensively, wiping her nose again on the sleeve of her flight suit. Being as the material was made from a waterproof synthetic blend, it didn't make a very good handkerchief, and the warm, slick wetness of nasal discharge continued to trickle teasingly down the divot in her upper lip. With a soft growl of irritation, she glanced around the room for something to wipe her nose on; that's when she noticed the door hidden behind the enormous bookcase on the south wall.

"Holy shit! Kara, look at this!" the shivering girl gasped, grabbing the heavy bookcase with both hands and wrenching it over on its side to reveal the hidden door. The lead pilot's eyes widened, and they nodded to each other as they took up defensive positions on either side of the door. Boomer put a hand out to open it; then faltered suddenly, a strange, dazed expression coming over her face as her chilled pink nostrils quivered, and her dark eyes narrowed to slits. She lowered her weapon and raised her free hand to her face.

“Boomer, don't! Don't you dare!” Starbuck whispered furiously. The shivering girl shook her head helplessly, squeezing her eyes shut and pinching her flaring nostrils between her half-numbed fingers, fighting to keep her lungs from sucking in that deep, ticklish gasp of air. But it made no difference.

"Uh...uhh-tchoo!! *Sniffle.*"

"Gods damn it, Sharon! Your nose is gonna get us both killed!" Starbuck growled quietly, glaring across the doorway at the other woman.

"I'm sorry, sir. I couldn't help it," Boomer hissed back, rubbing her wet nose furiously on the back of her equally wet hand. She had no idea how true that was—she really couldn't help it. There was a lot Lieutenant Sharon Valerii didn't know about herself; she didn't know she was a cylon. She didn't know she'd been programmed to think she was human until the cylons had a use for her; she didn't know all her memories of her childhood on Troy, her dead parents, the scholarship that had brought her to Caprica City and the Colonial Fleet three years ago, all of it was a lie. So she couldn't possibly know, under all the smoke and mirrors she had hidden inside her, that her body was perhaps the only thing that was really honestly hers, and purely human.

Only her spine and brain stem were electronic; the rest of her was flesh and blood, and subject to all the same delicacies as any other human body. The main difference was, her cylon brain could be programmed to eradicate any invading germs attacking her human body in an instant, if desired. But she hadn't been programmed that way. In order to convince the Colonial military—including Boomer herself—that she really was human, her electronic neural pathways had been programmed to respond to stimuli only in authentic human ways. For the most part, this just meant keeping her cylon brain in sleep mode and letting her body take care of itself, cells responding organically to invading disease or stimulus as they would in any other human body; because on a purely cellular level, her body was human. There was, however, one human reaction that she could never mimic without a direct command from her cylon brain: a simple, helpless human sneeze.

Unlike her body's battle with invading germs, the swelling of the attacked glands in her throat or the production of snot in her stuffy nasal passages, a sneeze required a direct command from her brain. And to complete the human illusion, her electronic brain carefully tracked the tiny signals from her irritated nose; when it got one strong enough to cause a sneeze response in a real human brain, it simply followed suit, and commanded her nose to sneeze. Unlike a real human brain, however, there was no ignoring or resisting a direct neural command from her cylon brain. When Boomer's brain said sneeze, she sneezed. She couldn't hold it back any more than she could stop her own heartbeat.

“Frakin' hell,” Kara muttered, shaking her head in annoyance as the sniffling girl gave her nose one final wipe on the back of her dripping wet sleeve. “Better?”

“Yes. Sorry.”

“Okay, go on my mark.” They nodded quietly, and let their military training take over as they kicked the door down and rushed the stairs to the hidden room below. Once they'd cleared the room, they stood there in stunned silence for several long seconds.

“Oh my Gods...Kara, it's a safety shelter! Look at all this! Food, medical supplies!” Boomer laughed, grabbing handfuls of sealed rations and throwing them into the air like candy.

“Sweet Lords of Kobol, someone might be looking out for us up there after all,” Starbuck shook her head, beaming, and grabbed Boomer around the waist, playfully spinning her around and kissing her.

“Careful, dummy, you're hurt,” Sharon scolded gently, but with a huge smile on her face as she was set back on her feet.

“Oh, giving orders now?” Kara chuckled, easing herself down into a chair with a slight wince as she finally took the weight off her injured leg. “What are you, my commanding officer?”

“Nope. I'm your girlfriend. That outranks commanding officer any day.” The dark-skinned girl smirked and leaned over the lead pilot's chair, giving her a soft, playful kiss that turned deep and heated for a moment, before exhaustion took over, and the reality that they were safe (for the moment, at least) kicked in.

“Okay, baby, you win. Now let's get out of these muddy flight suits and find something warm and dry to change into, 'kay? I'll even let you play doctor if you can find the med kit.” Starbuck winked, and Boomer flushed pleasurably.

“Yeah, think I saw it somewhere over...huhh...hhkshiiew!! *Sniffle.*” The dark-skinned girl cupped her hands to her face just in time to catch the ribbon of snot that flew from her irritated nostrils, still pink from the cold. She wiped it on the leg of her flight suit, with a sharp, congested sniffle.

“On second thought, maybe I'll play doctor,” Starbuck frowned, gingerly pulling herself back to her feet and limping a few steps to her girlfriend's side. “Let me feel your face, Sniffles McGee.”

“Shut up, I'm fine,” Boomer huffed, rolling her eyes. “You're the one who needs the med kit. Let me patch you up, okay? Then we'll see if the emergency, life-or-death medical supplies in here includes some cold medicine.”

“You're not fine, you're a frakin' liar,” Starbuck growled, feeling the other girl's face with both hands. “You're sick, you've got a fever. When were you planning on telling me?”

“Hmm, maybe after the immanent threat of death by mutant robot attack was past?” Boomer replied sarcastically; but she dropped her clammy forehead onto her girlfriend's strong shoulder with a soft sigh, and for a minute they just stood still like that, holding each other, absorbing the shock of the whole situation, and the fact that they could finally rest. Then Boomer felt her breath hitch, and she tried to move away; but Starbuck held on tight, refusing to let her go.

“Kara, let...huhh...let go...uhhh...huhgshoo!! Huh, ehh'kshhuh!!! *Snrf*...ughh, shit. I'b frakid' sigck,” the sniffling girl finally groaned, wiping her streaming nose on the back of her hand as she wearily raised her head.

“I know, babe. I'm sorry I couldn't get you out of that damn rain any faster.” Starbuck swept a lock of damp hair back from her sniffling girlfriend's face, leaning in to drop a kiss on the end of her cold nose. Boomer blushed, grinning shyly at the tough pilot's uncharacteristic show of attention.

“I'b sorry I let you get stabbed,” she replied, a small, playful smile curling the edge of her lips.

“Yeah, well, I guess we can call it even, huh? C'mon, get out of that wet flight suit before you freeze to death.” Slowly, the two weary pilots climbed out of their wet and dirty clothes, beaming at each other over Starbuck's winces of pain every time she put weight on her injured leg, and Boomer's soft sniffles, both happy just to be alive and together. And privately, they both knew that if they were gonna be stranded in enemy territory with just one other soldier, they wouldn't have chosen anyone else.

[Lady Blessington]

I looove the idea of those two as a couple, and yet the idea of sneezefic about them makes me so SHY! I'm just gonna quietly be over here not actually reading but cheering you on. And maybe reading later if I get brave. *facepalm*

[wannablessedbe]

I looove the idea of those two as a couple, and yet the idea of sneezefic about them makes me so SHY! I'm just gonna quietly be over here not actually reading but cheering you on. And maybe reading later if I get brave. *facepalm*

too shy to read, but brave enough to comment? that's a new one for me. hope you find your bravery soon and get to the reading...I think you'll enjoy it! nothing to be afraid of, this is totally PG

[Lady Blessington]

OKAY I GOT BRAVE. Thanks man. I've read stuff of yours in other fandoms and the girls always seem to be so warm and playful and nurturing with each other, and this is no exception! I love Boomer calling Starbuck "sir," rarrr, and all the gentle kisses. I'm kind of weird about sneezefic, like there's one character in one fandom where I'm like THAT ONE MUST SNEEZE ALL THE TIIIME, and with all the other characters everywhere, if I know who they are I mostly just feel embarrassed when they sneeze, maybe the same way I feel embarrassed sneezing in front of other people. So it's probably good to poke at that a little in the hope of not always being embarrassed. Sooo I'm glad I checked this out and thanks again for the nudge. END OF THREADJACKING.

[wannablessedbe]

OKAY I GOT BRAVE. Thanks man. I've read stuff of yours in other fandoms and the girls always seem to be so warm and playful and nurturing with each other, and this is no exception! I love Boomer calling Starbuck "sir," rarrr, and all the gentle kisses. I'm kind of weird about sneezefic, like there's one character in one fandom where I'm like THAT ONE MUST SNEEZE ALL THE TIIIME, and with all the other characters everywhere, if I know who they are I mostly just feel embarrassed when they sneeze, maybe the same way I feel embarrassed sneezing in front of other people. So it's probably good to poke at that a little in the hope of not always being embarrassed. Sooo I'm glad I checked this out and thanks again for the nudge. END OF THREADJACKING.

wow, you're even shyer that I am! I usually stick to the story board, I get bravest when I'm dealing with fictional characters. but yeah, I used to get that way (embarrassed about sneezing in front of other people, or seeing them sneeze in front of me) when I was younger; but eventually I realized that it was completely pointless as the sexy/fetishy aspect was apparent to no one but me. so, now it's pretty much no big deal for me...but I avoid the observation board completely, because describing something real that I actually saw or experienced still makes me feel shy all over again! I think we may be kindred spirits

and I'm glad you liked this story-- thanks for the positive feedback. I loved having boomer call starbuck sir too! I noticed on the show that all the officers get called sir whether they're men or women, thought it would be extra-cute and hot in this context. woot! (and no worries about thread-jacking, since it's just the two of us here so far! hopefully that will change soon...?)

[NoV]

Yes! The first BSG fic I have read. Female sneezing and from the super-hot Sharon Valerii as well!! You really are too kind to me

[wannablessedbe]

Thx guys, glad you're enjoying this! I know I am-- it's been a while since I've found a new ship to play with. And on top of general gorgeousness, Boomer & Starbuck also have that military tough girl thing going on, too, which is new for me, and makes it extra-sweet when they let themselves be vulnerable with each other. Quite a tasty mix! Here's part II, enjoy

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Cylons Catch Colds, Too

Part 2

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“Aw, that's barely a mosquito bite,” Boomer smiled weakly, trying to keep her cool and not let her horror show on her face when the bleeding wound on Starbuck's thigh was revealed. She knew that keeping up a light, joking attitude would help her girlfriend stay calm; and she knew from the way the blonde woman was grinning weakly back at her that it was appreciated.

“Hell of a mosquito,” Starbuck chuckled wryly, leaning back in her chair as Boomer snapped on a pair of sterile latex gloves from the med kit.

“Here, bite down on this,” Boomer instructed, passing her fellow pilot a wooden spoon from the shelter's supply cabinet. “I'm gonna clean you up fast as I can, then we'll wrap it up nice and tight. Ready?” Starbuck nodded grimly, taking the spoon and clamping it between her teeth. Boomer poured the disinfectant directly onto the wound, and Starbuck screamed and bit down hard, her whole body trembling with the effort of staying in the chair and not thrashing around screaming on the floor.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby,” Boomer groaned, hating to see the pain she was causing, even though she knew it was necessary. As soon as the whole area was clean, she grabbed a can of numbing spray and lightly misted over the disinfected wound, trying to be conservative with the amount she used so they'd have more for the next time she had to clean and change the bandage.

“That's...one hell of a mosquito,” Starbuck panted, taking the spoon out of her mouth, now studded with teeth marks.

“Almost done. Just gonna seal it up now.” The dark-skinned pilot grabbed the last instrument from the counter beside her, a military-issue foam sealant that worked like temporary stitches. Starbuck leaned back against her chair with a soft sigh of relief as the cool foam touched her skin, and began knitting it gently back together.

“Oh Gods, that feels so much better,” the blonde pilot groaned gratefully, flashing her cocky, million-dollar smile at her anxious girlfriend, who was looking pale and wan under her light caramel complexion. “You still got that magic touch, baby.”

“Yeah, that's what all the girls say,” Boomer joked weakly, wiping the back of her arm across her clammy forehead, being careful not to let her sterile glove touch her skin. “Just gonna wrap you up now...” As she reached for the roll of gauze, though, her cold-filled nose began to tickle and twitch, as a thin trickle of snot began to run sluggishly from one nostril. She sniffled sharply and rubbed the side of her arm under her nose, still being careful to keep her sterile, gloved hands away from her face. They had more gloves in the med kit, of course, but they didn't know how long they'd have to make these supplies last; and Boomer wasn't about to waste any of their precious resources.

“Uhhh...heh...huhh'kxchiiew!!!” The dark-haired girl turned her head to the side and sneezed wetly into her elbow, dampening the fabric of the fresh, dry shirt she'd just put on from the bunker's small supply closet. “*Snrf!*...ugh, sorry,” she sighed woozily.

“You don't have to be sorry, dummy,” Starbuck shook her head with a sympathetic little grin. “It's not your fault. Neither of us is exactly operating on all thrusters right now.”

“Ughh, yeah,” Boomer sniffled in weary agreement, rubbing the side of her arm briskly under her nose again. She could feel another sneeze blooming in the back of her head; fresh trickles of glistening discharge leaked slowly past the pulsing pink rims of her nostrils, irritating them relentlessly until her eyes snapped helplessly shut again. “Uhh-tchshh! Heiishoo!!! *Sniffle.*”

“Bless you,” Starbuck said gently, pulling out her field knife and cutting off one of her sleeves from the elbow, then carefully ripping it in half.

“What are you doihg?” Boomer asked plaintively, sniffling sharply as she rubbed her damp sleeve roughly under her running nose again.

“Making something for you to blow your nose on,” Starbuck shrugged, holding out one of the neat squares of soft, clean fabric. “I know you won't use up any of those sterile bandages, so take this. It'll make you feel better to clear out your head.”

“Thags. Let be just fiddish wrappidg your leg first,” the sniffling girl sighed wearily, with one final, sharp sniff. A thin trail of snot sucked backwards into her pink nose, then trickled back out again. Starbuck frowned.

“Here, blow,” the blonde pilot commanded, gently holding her makeshift handkerchief up to her girlfriend's running nose, and lightly pinching her damp nostrils in the folds. Boomer groaned softly in embarrassment; but it felt good to have the clean, absorbent fabric pressed to her leaking nostrils, and besides, there was no one else around to laugh at her for letting herself be babied like this. She closed her eyes and blew heartily into the fabric, relishing the feeling of emptying her clogged nose and scratching the wet itch inside her head all at once. Starbuck cupped her free hand to the back of her girlfriend's head, holding her still like a child, then gently pinched the dampened fabric around the bottom of her nose to wipe away the dripping snot that clung to the underside of her nostrils.

“There, that's better, isn't it?” The blonde girl smiled, giving her co-pilot a little wink. Boomer blushed scarlet, feeling childish and embarrassed and pleased with the attention all at the same time.

“Much,” She nodded, grinning shyly back. “Thank you. Now it's your turn, hold still.” Without the distraction of a runny nose, Boomer finished wrapping Starbuck's injured leg quickly, and helped her into a fresh pair of regulation fatigue pants from the small pile they'd found in the supply closet. Whoever had stocked the shelter had obviously been a man, because all the clothes they'd found were way too big for both of them—luckily, the regulation fatigues had built-in drawstrings, so at least they wouldn't be tripping over themselves.

“Time to break into some of these rations,” Starbuck grinned, ripping open the nearest MRE to reveal a pouch of beef ravioli and another of black beans, a sleeve of crackers, and a small tub of cheese spread, along with a packet of instant cocoa and a set of plastic utensils.

“Ugh, gross,” Boomer groaned, going pale and turning away from the food.

“You're not hungry? We haven't eaten in almost three days,” Starbuck frowned, limping gingerly away from the rations on the table and taking the other girl's face in both hands.

“I know,” Boomer agreed petulantly, closing her eyes as her girlfriend's strong hands pressed against her cheeks and forehead in turn. “I'm just a little queasy...and it kind of hurts to swallow.”

“Shit, you're hot,” Starbuck groaned, stroking the other girl's forehead gently with her thumb.

“That's what you always say, baby,” Boomer giggled weakly, flashing her lead pilot a teasing grin.

“Ha ha, you're a comedian. Sit your ass down, I'm taking your temp.”

“Yes, sir,” Boomer said in a mock-serious tone, saluting as she dropped down into the nearest chair. Starbuck rooted through the med kit and pulled out the small digital thermometer, pressing it gently to her girlfriend's clammy forehead. It beeped within seconds.

“386.4, crap,” Kara groaned, removing the strip from the other girl's forehead so they could both see. “Looks like you picked up something a little nastier than a cold out there, babe.”

“I'b fide. I just deed sobe sleep,” Sharon yawned, waving a hand dismissively.

“Not with an empty stomach,” the blonde girl shook her head stubbornly. “Here, fill this with water from that spigot, okay? We'll make some soup, it'll go down nice and easy.” Boomer glowered, but did as she was told. Meanwhile, Starbuck pounded the little package of beans until it was thoroughly mushed, then poured the whole mess into the water, setting it on top of the small instant heater that came with the MRE's.

“Here, drink.” Starbuck passed the steaming cup to her sniffling girlfriend, who groaned miserably, but took it gingerly in both hands.

“This is gross, Kara,” she complained petulantly, after taking a tiny sip.

“Suck it up, soldier. You're not gonna get better on an empty stomach. Just quit your whining and eat—that's an order.”

“Gods, you souhd like by grandbother. *'Snrf!* ...Do you wadt be to clead by roob after?”

“Maybe, smartass,” Starbuck winked, giving the other girl a little half-grin. She knew Boomer was just joking around to keep her from worrying too much; and it was working, kind of. The truth was, they were both in pretty lousy shape; if they were attacked now, the odds would be against them. But why should anyone—or anything—find them down here? They'd be safe for a few days, at least, plenty of time to recuperate as long as they made sure to take care of themselves in the meantime.

“Okay, okay,” Boomer grumbled, closing her eyes and gulping down the hot mush in a few large mouthfuls while Starbuck devoured the rest of the MRE. “Ugh, I'b so tired...cad I please go to sleep for a while?”

“Yeah, go ahead. I'll take the first watch.”

“Just wake be up whed you get tired, ohh...*snrf!*...okay?”

“Okay,” Starbuck nodded, privately thinking that she'd have to be on the verge of a coma to wake her sick girlfriend up before she was ready.

“I wish we could sleep together...uhhh...hehhishhxuh!! *Sniffle.*” Boomer pulled the crumpled makeshift-handkerchief out of her pocket, blowing vigorously into the damp fabric and pinching it roughly around her tender pink nostrils.

“Bless you,” Starbuck said gently, wishing she could afford the luxury of falling asleep with her girlfriend cuddled in her arms. But one of them had to stay awake at all times if they wanted to get off this frakkin' planet alive, and the lead pilot wasn't about to let anything jeopardize that, not even her own mushy feelings for her sweet, sniffling girl.

“Thag you,” Boomer croaked softly, rubbing the damp square of fabric absently against the bottom of her irritated nose. Then she closed her eyes, breath hitching erratically, and squeezed the crumpled hanky firmly around her pink nostrils as they flared irritably again. “Uhh, huh...hhtkshiiew!!! *'Snnnf.* Ughh, this blows.”

“C'mere, lie down,” Starbuck murmured, pulling her chair up beside the hammock that had been strung across the back corner of the shelter. Boomer dragged herself to her feet and trudged over, dropping bonelessly into it with a grumpy sigh. Starbuck pulled the neatly folded blanket over the sniffling girl and sat gingerly in the chair by her head, laying her own head down on the high edge of the hammock and reaching her arm over so she could stroke her girlfriend's hair. Boomer's sulky expression vanished, replaced with a shy, sleepy smile.

“Kara?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you, you doe,” the drowsy girl murmured softly.

“I know. I love you too, Shar. Now get some sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up.”

[Lady Blessington]

Your sneeze descriptions are something else. Pulsing pink nostrils... hoo.

[weevill25]

oh. my. god. pleeeease continue this!!! not only is this pairing incredibly adorable but all the nuances...the makeshift hanky, everything is amazing!!! how did you learn to write like this???

[wannablessedbe]

oh. my. god. pleeeease continue this!!! not only is this pairing incredibly adorable but all the nuances...the makeshift hanky, everything is amazing!!! how did you learn to write like this???

d'awww, thx you guys! the nuances are the first thing I see-- the rest of the story is basically just an excuse for the nuances. I'm glad it comes across the way it is inside my head! don't worry. more to come

[wannablessedbe]

OK, so I've seen a lot more of the show since I started writing this story...and dayyyyum it's so freakin' good!!!! I mean, ZOMGGG. And I also realize now that there was no need to explain away Boomer's programming to allow her to get sick-- clyon's bodies aren't immortal at all, only their consciousness, which is the whole point. When they die, they just download into a new body (unless the cylon in question is too far away from the resurrection ship, of course...but that doesn't matter here anyway, it's not like I'm gonna kill her). And I'm glad to see that I was totally right, Boomer (and Athena, aka Boomer 2.0) is absolutely a real person who makes hew own choices and has her own loyalties. So, either way, this story is continuing! Hope you guys are still enjoying, because I'm still super into this pairing

Have fun!

--WBB

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Cylons Catch Colds, Too

Part 3

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Several hours later, Boomer was still dead asleep, her soft, congested snores keeping Starbuck company as she sat at the table cleaning and inventorying all their weapons. The blonde pilot was exhausted, too, but she was determined to let Boomer sleep as long as possible—ideally, until she woke up naturally, when her body was ready. Every so often, when her eyes stung with weariness and the disassembled chunks of metal felt too heavy to hold, Starbuck stopped what she was doing and leaned her head back against the wall, watching her sweet angel sleep for a few minutes. Boomer looked peaceful but pale; her usually golden-caramel skin had gone a sickly, dull porcelain, except for the rubbed-raw pink around the bottom of her nose. Starbuck tried not to worry too much; in the more than two years they'd served together on Galactica, she'd seen firsthand how tough and resilient the other girl really was, no matter how small and delicate she looked right now.

“No, no, don't...I'm not a cylon,” the sleeping girl whimpered, tossing her head restlessly in the hammock as she struggled against some frightening dream flashing across her closed eyes. Starbuck got gingerly to her feet and limped across the small space, hoping to soothe the other girl back into a peaceful sleep; but before she got there, Boomer let out a shriek of terror and thrashed so hard, the hammock flipped her to the floor with a dull thud.

“I'm not a cylon! No, no, please!” The sobbing girl curled into a fetal ball on the floor, shaking and shivering, until Starbuck dropped down beside her and gathered her up, cooing softly and stroking the sweat-dampened hair back from her face.

“Sharon, baby, shh, it's okay,” Kara murmured, gently rocking the trembling girl and stroking her feverish cheek, trying to force eye contact to bring her back from her frightened dream state. “You're not a cylon, it's just a bad dream...shh, I'm here, I got you...” Finally, Boomer blinked woozily and looked up into her girlfriend's clear aqua-blue eyes.

“Kara,” she croaked softly, her hands clutching weakly at the fabric of the other girl's shirt as she came back to herself. “Oh Gods, it was just a dream...I'm not a...a cylon...uhh'tchshh! Heh'eishhuh!! *Snrf.*”

“You're not a cylon, baby girl,” Starbuck shook her head, smiling weakly as she pulled a fresh square of fabric from her pants pocket and gently wiped a glistening trickle of snot from the curve of her girlfriend's upper lip. “Cylons don't need to blow their noses, do they?” Boomer closed her eyes and gave a very weak chuckle.

“Guess not,” she murmured hoarsely. Then her breath hitched sharply again, and Starbuck hastily cupped the crumpled fabric back to her pink nostrils as they quivered expectantly. “Uhh, huhh...uhkkshiiew!! *'Snnf.*”

“Bless you, baby,” The blonde pilot murmured, pinching the dampened fabric around her girlfriend's wet nose and gently wiping away the slick discharge streaming down the divot in the upper lip.

“Why ab I od the floor?” Boomer asked woozily, blinking sleepily as her surroundings finally began to clarify.

“You were having a nightmare and you fell out of bed, honey. C'mon, let's get you back up where it's warm and comfy, okay?” Starbuck stood shakily, trying not to put too much weight on her injured leg as she pulled the smaller girl up with her. Boomer didn't resist, dropping her head heavily onto Starbuck's shoulder, not even attempting to stand independently.

“Kara, I dod't feel so good,” she whispered miserably, with a raspy, congested cough against the blonde pilot's throat.

“I know, honey, I know you're sick,” Starbuck cooed softly, stroking her thumb absently against her girlfriend's shivering back as she struggled to hold them both upright. “C'mon, let's just get you back in bed...” Between both their weakened states, and the swinging of the woven hammock, Starbuck didn't have the strength to lay her girlfriend back down without going down with her. Boomer sighed happily when they were snuggled down together, and nestled her head more securely against the blonde pilot's neck, curling up half on top of her with one arm snaking under her shirt to rest snugly against the warm skin of her stomach.

“Stay with be for a little while...please,” the sick girl sniffled softly, not bothering to open her eyes. “Just a...huhh...a little while...*'snnnf*...uhh, uhhh, huhktchoo! *Sniffle.*” The strength of the congested sneeze far outweighed the strength left in her feverish body, and she jerked weakly, cupping a hand to her face halfheartedly.

“Okay, shh, I'm not going anywhere,” Starbuck murmured, bringing the damp hanky to the wet spot where Boomer's nose was running freely against her shirt, and gently wiping her girlfriend's damp nostrils again. “Here, blow.” Sharon did as she was told, but much more weakly and halfheartedly than before. Even so, Starbuck could feel the warm, wet weight of the stream of snot that was expelled into the hanky cupped in her hand.

“Ughh, thadk you,” the sick girl sighed, shivering weakly as Starbuck shoved the wet handkerchief back into her pocket, and pulled the tangled blanket back up over them both. “I'b sorry, Kara.”

“Shh, don't say that,” Starbuck shushed her, snuggling down under the warmth of the covers and gently running her fingers through her girlfriend's soft, silky hair. “You took care of me, and now I'm taking care of you. That's what we do, right? And when we're both back on our feet, we're gonna get off this frakin' planet and find our fleet. So you just rest until you're strong and healthy again, okay baby?”

“'Kay,” Boomer whispered drowsily, her shivers finally easing as her body went limp against her girlfriend's warmth. Starbuck traced her fingers absently up and down the other girl's back, feeling her sharp intake of breath when she sniffled and rubbed absently at her nose.

“Here,” Starbuck murmured sleepily, her own exhaustion taking over as she pulled the last crumpled square of fabric from her pocket, and pressed it into Boomer's hand.

“Thag you...uhh-chhihoo!!” Sharon cupped the damp fabric to her clogged pink nose as another sickly sneeze rattled her exhausted body, pressing the hanky firmly to the rims of her irritated nostrils as they spasmed helplessly. “Ughh, frakid' hell,” she sighed sleepily, rubbing and tugging on her sensitive pink nose through the damp fabric.

“Bless you,” Starbuck yawned softly, her eyes finally falling shut as her own exhaustion and blood loss took over.

“Uh-huh,” Boomer sighed softly, her hand stilling with the damp fabric still pressed to her nose, her breath rasping softly with congestion through her slightly parted lips. The even rise and fall of Starbuck's chest as she breathed lulled the feverish girl; and in a few moments, they were both fast asleep.

[weevill25]

oh my god. this gave me goosebumps its so wonderful!!! awwww poor boomer hehe *melts into a puddle* i wanna snuggle her in a hammock haha seriously i am loving this!!! not like i dont love everything else you write lol

please continue!!

[telltale]

I adore this show, and particularly these characters, and this is sooo amazing. I'm in love with it!

[tFM!]

I'm a little late to this party, but I just want to say that I LOVE this. You make me want to watch every show you write about

[wannablessedbe]

The fun continues! Thx for the feedback guys, I'm glad you're enjoying these characters as much as I am. Here's part 4, enjoy

--WBB

ps, funkymutt-- you should indeed benefit from my experience and WATCH BATTLESTAR GALACTICA. I don't even particularly enjoy sci-fi, but after a friend of mine showed me this clip from portlandia, I decided to give it a try. It took a few eps to get into it, but OMG SO WORTH IT. Boomer and Starbuck are just the tip of the iceberg of awesomeness that is this show!

….................................................................................................................................................................

Cylons Catch Colds, Too

Part 4

….................................................................................................................................................................

“C'mon sleepyhead, time to wake up and eat some breakfast,” Starbuck hummed, yawning softly as she blinked at the pale rays of daylight filtering in from the tiny windows near the roof of the basement-level shelter. She hadn't meant to sleep the whole night, only take a short rest and then continue cleaning the weapons...but it was so comfortable in the hammock, with her girlfriend's warm weight curled up on top of her, and they were both so tired and weak and spent—Starbuck from blood loss, and Boomer from her fever—that their bodies had reached the point of no return. They simply had to sleep. And after the events of the last few days, just going to sleep and waking up again in the morning went solidly in the win column as far as Starbuck was concerned.

“Ughhh...cad't fly today, Cap,” Boomer yawned, her voice faint and raspy with sleep, obviously not fully awake or aware of her surroundings. “Just...few bore bidutes...*'snnf.*”

“Typical excuses from a raptor jock, huh?” Kara teased, gently scratching her nails up and down the other girl's back to help rouse her. “I guess we'll be getting a requisition for a hot tub on the flight deck next.” Boomer smiled sleepily against her girlfriend's shoulder, reaching up to rub her eyes as the waking world slowly filtered into her fuzzy brain.

“Uhh, yeah, hot tub souhds good,” the sleepy girl yawned, stretching her back woozily along the length of the warm body beneath her, until a rattling, congested cough stole her breath and curled her up in a shivering ball on her girlfriend's chest.

“Okay, okay, shh, just breathe...” Starbuck hummed softly, rubbing light circles over the smaller girl's shaking back until the coughing fit past.

“Ughh, frak this,” Boomer groaned, blinking woozily as her breath eased, and the painful rattling in her chest relaxed. “I...*snnf!*...almost forgot for a second. Thought we were back in the racks on Galactica.”

“Just another morning to sneak back into your own bunk before reveille, hmm?” Starbuck teased gently, running her fingers through her girlfriend's silk-soft hair.

“Just another morning to sneak in a quickie in the weapons locker before breakfast,” Boomer sighed, a sleepy smile on her pale face as she opened her eyes and blinked up at the smirking blonde pilot.

“Just another morning I get to breathe the same air as you,” Starbuck murmured, almost shyly, as she swept a lock of dark hair back from her girlfriend's face. Boomer grinned back stupidly, a flush of color sweeping across her feverish cheeks.

“Gods, Kara...I...*snnf!*...I j-just...” with a little whimper, Boomer cupped a hand to her mouth and pressed her face firmly into her girlfriend's shoulder. “Hehh'eishoo!! *Snrf, sniffle.* Ughh, Gods damnb it.”

“Bless you, honey. Now let's get up and have some breakfast, okay? And maybe if you're really good, we'll play naughty nurse later and I'll give you a sponge bath.” Starbuck winked, and Boomer burst into uncontrollable giggles.

“You are such a dog,” the dark-skinned girl chuckled, as they slowly helped each other sit up and dangle their legs over the side of the hammock, rubbing their eyes and stretching.

“Woof,” Starbuck grinned puckishly. Then she tried to stand up, immediately wincing and stumbling when she unthinkingly put weight on her injured leg.

“Whoa, okay,” Boomer gulped, jumping down after her and grabbing the rope of the hammock for support as a wave of feverish vertigo washed over her. “Ughh, frak me...huh...hekkshew! *Snnnf*...ehhishoo!!” The dark-haired girl doubled over with her hands cupped to her face, catching her congested sneezes, as she felt the scratchy warmth of the discarded blanket being thrown over her shoulders.

“Bless you again,” Kara said gently, wrapping the blanket more snugly around her girlfriend's shivering body. “Here, I think we better keep you nice and warm till this fever breaks, okay tough girl? Sit down, and I'll grab us some grub.”

“Doe, dambit! You shoulded't be takidg care of be, you cad barely walk,” Boomer growled, fishing the last crumpled square of fabric from her pocket and blowing vigorously into it to clear her head. “Huh, that's better. I can make us breakfast, okay? And more importantly, I can help you change that bandage.” She nodded to Starbuck's leg, and the blonde pilot groaned in a distinctly adolescent way.

“Geez, I literally spent the last twelve hours wiping your nose, and you wanna pay me back with unprovoked torture?”

“Yes I do,” Boomer replied sarcastically, but with a weak smile as she pushed her co-pilot down into a seat at the small table. For once, Starbuck went without a fight; she knew she really did have to change the damn bandage, and it would certainly be a lot less agonizing to let Sharon do it.

“Okay, but just take it slow, will you? I don't want you passing out on me. You're so pale, you're starting to look whiter than me.”

“That's frakin' hilarious,” Boomer muttered darkly, rolling her eyes as she pulled the scratchy blanket tighter around her shoulders, and retrieved the med kit from the cabinet, opening it up across the table and beginning to lay out the bandages and antibacterial sprays.

“Wait, c'mere,” Starbuck winced as she wiggled out of her pants so the bloodstained bandage on her thigh was revealed.

“What's the matter, baby?” Boomer immediately stopped fussing over the med kit and crouched at Starbuck's side, worried about infection and blood flow and a million other ways her co-pilot could be screwed by her injury, while they were stuck here on their own behind enemy lines.

“Take your medicine first,” Starbuck winked, holding up a little packet of the heavy-duty antivirals that were also housed in the first aid kit. Boomer gave her an exasperated look. “Oh please. I'm sitting here letting you poke the open gash in my leg with blunt instruments. I think a little quid-pro-quo is in order, wouldn't you say so?”

“Yes, sir,” Boomer snickered softly, taking the packet of meds and throwing them back with a gulp of water. “Happy?”

“I am fraking euphoric,” Starbuck smiled, kissing her sniffling girl softly on the lips before easing down into the chair with a wince of pain. “Now do me a favor, and don't snot on me while the bandage is open, okay?”

“No promises,” Boomer mumbled sarcastically, pulling the damp handkerchief out of her pocket and blowing her nose thoroughly, trying to ensure it wouldn't tickle, run, or in any way distract her while she was changing the bloody bandage on her girlfriend's thigh. Then she snapped on a fresh pair of sterile latex gloves. “Okay, this is gonna hurt. Think about something else. How about, the first thing you're gonna do after we get back to Galactica?”

“First thing I...aghhh, FRAK!” Starbuck gasped and closed her eyes tight, the color draining sharply form her face as the bandage was peeled back from the wound on her leg. Boomer quickly sprayed over the whole area with a topical analgesic, which soothed the stabbing pain a little. “I think the first thing I'll do...when we get back to the ship...” Starbuck panted, eyes firmly shut, gripping the arms of the chair tightly in her fists. “Is take a...hot shower...with real soap.”

“Mm, that sounds good,” Boomer agreed quietly, working quickly and efficiently to clean the wound and wrap it up in a clean, fresh bandage. “Know what I'm gonna do?”

“What?” Starbuck asked, opening one eye a crack and hesitantly examining her leg. If it was too bloody or gross, she didn't want to see it.

“I'm gonna sneak in right behind you, cover you with soap bubbles, and frak you blind 'till you scream my name across the whole damn barracks.” Starbuck's eyes popped open then, just in time to see her girlfriend secure the last piece of tape across her bandage, lean forward, and drop an innocent kiss on the end of her nose.

“Gods damn, Shar. With motivation like that, you'll have us both back on board Galactica inside 48 hours.”

“That's my plan,” Boomer chuckled, peeling off her latex gloves and reaching for her damp handkerchief as her nose began to bother her again. She sniffled and rubbed the damp fabric against her nostrils, blinking woozily as her breath caught in her chest. “Uhh-chxiiew!! *'Snnnf.*” The blanket wrapped around her shoulders fell back when she pitched forward, dangling off the sides of the chair behind her.

“Here, you gotta keep covered up honey,” Starbuck said briskly, leaning forward and pulling the blanket back up around her girlfriend's shivering body.

“Thadks,” Boomer sighed, with a little self-depricating half smile from behind her hanky. “I thidk I'b...*snrf!*...goihg to deed a...huhh...a few bore of...of these...ehhh...hht'kxhiiew!!! Ughh...*snnf.*”

“Say no more,” Starbuck grinned sympathetically, pulling a fresh cotton army tank from the shelf at her back and beginning to cut into large, neat squares with her field knife. Boomer blew her nose into the soaked fabric she held one more time, then tossed it across the room into a large, open garbage bin, where it landed with a sodden splat.

“Nice landing, just like your raptor,” Starbuck teased gently, handing over one of the fresh squares of fabric as she could already see a fresh trickle of discharge running gently from her girlfriend's pink nose. “Too bad we can't slap some snot on your wheels to make 'em stick that well on the runway, huh?”

“Bite be,” Boomer grumbled, snatching the fresh hanky and rubbing it roughly around her wet nose. “Uhhh...tchiiew! *Sniffle*...hhkshhoo!!” She pitched forward with one hand pinching the damp fabric to her nostrils, and the other pressed to her pounding forehead.

“Does your head hurt, baby?”

“Id's dot...*'snnf!*...dot so bad,” Boomer sighed, closing her eyes as she rubbed her aching temples.

“You really are the worst liar in the fleet,” Starbuck sighed, scooting her chair a little closer and reaching out to massage her girlfriend's pounding head.

“Ohhh, that feels good,” Boomer sighed, dropping her own hands and leaning back against the chair as Starbuck's strong hands kneaded her temples. “Thadk you...”

“Anything for my girl,” Starbuck said quietly, her voice lacking its usual joking edge as she leaned in and kissed her co-pilot lightly on the end of her pink nose. Boomer opened her eyes, but didn't say anything; they just smiled at each other for a minute, absorbing the comfort of each other's presence in the midst of their miserable situation. And even if they really were the last two survivors on the entire planet, they both knew they were going to make it out of here alive. And when they got back to Galactica, they were going to immediately get written up for locking the shower doors in the head. That thought alone was enough to get Starbuck on her feet, and heating up water for their breakfast.

[weevill25]

OH. WOW. this is so cute and amazing and i love it soooo much!!! please continue

[tFM!]

Still awesome! Please continue!