That Time of the Month (HP, Lupin/Black, M) - for Queenie - COMPLETED

[NoThankYou]

I think this is the part where I say that I'm not JK Rowling so none of the characters belong to me. (I'm new at posting my fanfiction, so any advice on posting conventions would be appreciated.)

This was a request from Queenie. (Is there a way to tag people in posts?)

 

Remus sat down slowly, closing his eyes and hissing slightly as he exhaled. His hair was rumpled, as were his clothes. He had dark circles under his eyes, making his pale skin look even paler. Sirius had seen him like this before, on the day after a full moon. But the full moon wasn’t for a couple of days yet.

“Everything ok?” Sirius asked.

“I’m fine,” Remus replied. Of course he did. Remus never complained. Which made it maddeningly hard to tell whether he was sick, tired, angry, or just hungry.

“It’s ok, you’re among friends,” Sirius said. “Tell me, what’s going on?”

“It’s nothing,” Remus said. After Sirius raised his eyebrows, he continued a little reluctantly, “I’m just tired. Some aches and pains, but nothing to worry about.”

“Are you getting sick?” Tonks asked, concerned.

“No,” Remus said, “it’s just, you know, the – month thing and all that.”

“Isn’t it a bit early?” Sirius asked.

“Some months it’s like this,” Remus replied. “A few days before the full moon, I’ll start to get tired for no reason, and my body starts to ache. I’m afraid I’ve been a bit grumpy too, so I apologize if I’ve been testy lately. But really, I’m fine. It’ll all pass in a few days.”

“I know how you feel,” Tonks said, putting a hand lightly on his arm.

“You do?” Remus asked, surprised.

“I do,” she replied. “It’s awful. You get so tired, not just sleepy, but bone-tired, like every part of your body is screaming at you to just stop.”

“Yes,” Remus agreed, confused.

“And you’re emotionally worn out at the same time, like you don’t know whether to laugh or cry or bite someone’s head off. And at the same time, you just want to sleep for a hundred years.”

“Y-yes,” Remus said, “But, how do you -?”

“And the worst thing is, month to month, you never know how it’s going to go. Will this be an easy month, just one day of misery, or is it going to be one of those months?”

Remus’s eyes were growing wider. Sirius’s too, but with a glint in them. He bit his lip and tried to keep a straight face.

“In the end, there’s really nothing you can do but just take it easy, try to rest up, and of course, have some really good chocolate.”

“Yes,” Remus whispered, distraught. “That’s it exactly. But, oh Tonks, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. Is it true? Are you a, a –”

“Yes.”

“You’re a, a w –”

“I am, Remus.” Tonks looked him dead in the face. “I’m a woman.”

At this, Sirius let out a whoop, and crowed with the laughter he’d been holding back. Remus, however, was not amused.

“That’s not funny,” he said angrily. “I was really worried!”

“Sorry, Remus,” Tonks said, trying and failing to conceal her mirth. “I couldn’t help it.”

“You could, though,” Remus insisted. “It’s not something to joke about.”

“Oh, but you should have seen your face!” Sirius cackled.

“You knew where she was going with this?”

“Ay, Moony, lighten up. She was just winding you up.”

“Honestly, Sirius, I expect more from you. Tonks is young, but you should know better. Teasing me about something that has cost me jobs, is physically torturous, and let’s not forget puts the people I love most in danger on a regular basis!”

 

Sirius stopped laughing. Put that way, maybe it wasn’t so funny. He opened his mouth to apologize, when Remus continued:

“I swear, Sirius, sometimes I think you haven’t matured since Hogwarts.”

Now that stung. Instead of the apology he was about to give, a sharp voice came out of his mouth. “Well, Remus, I’m sorry if I strike you as immature. I guess while you were maturing, I was busy hanging around in dog form as much as possible, so the Dementors didn’t completely break my soul.”

Remus blinked, and stared at Sirius speechlessly. If Tonks hadn’t crossed a line with her teasing, Sirius certainly did just then. But he was too angry to take anything back. Before Remus or Tonks could say a word, Sirius stomped out of the room.

 

 

[queenie]

Hiiiii this is a great little moment-- funny and sweet and hinting at emotional depths yet to be plunged. So exciting to have helped in its creation! You're a talented writer, with a good sense of how words make meaning when knit together.

And you can tag people by putting the @ symbol before you type their username :-)

[lilysneeze]

OMG this was soooo funny... until it got heartbreaking but I loved it anyway  I've had Sirius tease Remus with "that time of the month" thing in one of my fics too XD

[NoThankYou]

@queenie, thanks for the feedback and for the advice! I tend to write to deal with my own issues, so there's usually a fair bit of emotional stuff going on in my fics. I really like this prompt, too! Do you write fanfic too?

@lilysneeze, thanks. Yeah, I know the time-of-the-month thing isn't exactly original, but I had fun with it. I feel like JK Rowling was joking around about it too, otherwise why would she throw in the bit about chocolate making everything better? (;

Just edited another section. Here you go!

 

The thing about being effectively under house arrest is that you’re pretty limited to where you can be at any given time. Which makes post-dramatic-exit sulking rather difficult. Especially when said house is filled with bad memories and run by an ill-tempered, racist house-elf. Sirius had no interest in listening to Dumbledore talk about plans he couldn’t take part in, and he certainly didn’t want to run into old Snivelus Snape. So there was nothing for it. He needed to go outside, even if it was just the back garden.

Sirius considered morphing into a dog, but he decided that he wanted to be able to think clearly, so he’d have to stay in human form. Fortunately, it was dark out, so it was unlikely that anyone would see him, and even less so that they’d recognize him.

Once outside, Sirius realized it was colder than he’d expected it to be. It had been over a week since he’d gone outside, and the autumn had really set in. The sun had set hours ago, and it was raining in a fine mist. But there was no way he was going back for a warmer coat. He was committed to staying outside until he was calm enough to talk to Remus like a civilized adult. Besides, returning for a heavier coat would just highlight how impulsive his exit had been, bolstering Remus’s argument that he was hopelessly immature.

Really, Moony could be so self-righteous sometimes. As though he was the only person in the world who’d ever suffered. As though Sirius hadn’t lost Potter too. As though he hadn’t had over a decade locked up in Azkaban with nothing to do but mourn Potter’s death, curse Pettigrew’s birth, and wonder hopelessly about Moony’s vital status. The last one had been almost as hard as the first, because as broken as Potter’s death had made him feel, at least he knew. But he had no way of knowing if Remus was alive or not. Especially given Moony’s condition, Sirius had spent so many nights fearing he’d hear the news that something had finally happened, that Moony had been killed in some suicidal encounter with other werewolves. He had wondered if the next time he saw Moony would be behind bars, for having killed someone during a full moon. And he’d had to live with the guilt that, by Merlin, he would find that lost life worth it, just to see his friend again.

Sirius had missed Potter’s and Lily’s funerals. He’d known nothing of Baby Potter (not so much of a baby now, nearly fifteen years old) until the boy started showing up in newspapers. That was his god-son, and he had never met him, not since he was too young to talk anyway. He’d missed so much while in Azkaban. That was almost worse than the torture the Dementors put him through. Almost, but not quite. The torture was pretty awful, too.

Did Moony ever stop to think that maybe Sirius acted so flippant because he was so damn sad and angry all the time? After all, we couldn’t all mope around humorlessly between Order missions and day jobs.

Yes, about those day jobs. Remus had had a point. Lycanthropy had cost him a great deal, so it made sense that he wouldn’t want to joke about it. He certainly wouldn’t want to compare it to run of the mill PMS. And Moony must be so frustrated about everything his condition kept him from doing. Sirius himself was miserable in his idleness, and while Moony was not stuck at the same level of uselessness as Sirius was, that didn’t mean he wasn’t hating his limitations. After all, as a youth, Sirius had loved lazy weekends with nothing to do, and had come up with many ways to amuse himself inside in the cold Welsh winters, while Remus had always been doing something, always making up for the days he lost each month.

Of course, most of those amusements Sirius had come up with had involved Prongs, who was dead, Wormtail, who was dead to him, and Moony himself. Sirius had not exactly had a lot of opportunities to make friends in the last fourteen years. Things being as they were, Sirius was damned lonely.

Perhaps he was putting too much pressure on Moony, trying to make up for the lost Marauders. Adding to that all the responsibility that the Order of the Phoenix entailed, maybe Sirius needed to give him a break. Sirius could get by for a few days with baby Potter, Tonks, and whatever Weasley was hanging around at the moment. Maybe he should start a diary to work through his anger and despair. Preferably one that wasn’t possessed by Voldemort’s spirit.

Ha-chu! Sirius didn’t even realize he’d been shivering until he sneezed. Ha-chu! Ha-chu! He sniffed. Great. Five minutes outside, the first time outside in a week, and he’d gone and caught himself a cold. He sighed, wrapped his too-thin jacket a little tighter about himself, and reluctantly trudged back inside. He supposed that now was a good a time as any to talk with Remus.

Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-CHU! Or maybe not. He sniffed again. Maybe bed was a better idea for now. He could talk to Remus in the morning. After all, if there was anything Sirius had in excess, it was time.

[NoThankYou]

You guys, I need to go to sleep. Unlike Sirius, I have work in the morning. And yet... part three.

Oh, and warning - there's some swearing, although it's mostly made up.

 

Sirius woke with a jolt of adrenaline. Before he had a chance to get his bearings, his body was wracked by a set of powerful sneezes.

Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU!!

He sighed, and took a few breaths, trying to slow his heart rate. He was beginning to calm down when it started again.

Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU!

He shivered, sniffling. He reached for his blanket to pull it tighter around him, but all he could find was his sheet. Damn. His blanket must have fallen off the bed while he was sleeping. Sirius scooched himself closer to the edge of the bed, so he could reach for the floor without having to get up. After a few seconds of reaching around, his fingers brushed something blanket-like. Success! He stretched out his arm just a bit more –

Ha-chu! Ha-chu!! WHUMPH! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Sirius had fallen off the bed in the middle of a sneezing fit. You would think that the impact would have stopped said sneezing fit, but you would be wrong. And it seemed that there was another one on the way.

Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! He sneezed rapid-fire five times in a row. The sneezes weren’t as powerful as the ones that had woken him, but the fits seemed to be getting longer. Sirius sniffed a few times as he crawled back into bed, trying to stave off the inevitable.

Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Sirius groaned. Merlin’s balls. If this kept up, he was never getting back to sleep. He swallowed. At least swallowing didn’t hurt. Yet. Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu!

Sirius sighed. At this point, he was wide awake. He might as well fix himself a hot cup of tea, maybe even make some soup. Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! All he’d have to do was Ha-chu! get to the kitchen without Ha-chu! waking anyone or Ha-chu! running into Kreacher. Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Easy as – as –   Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Easy as coming up with a decent simile when you can’t stop sneezing. Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu!

Deep breaths, he thought as he grabbed his wand, deep breaths. He managed a quick “Lumos!” before the next fit hit him. Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! The sneezing fits were coming faster, but at least they weren’t getting longer anymore. Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Flamel’s stones, it was like he was deliberately baiting the gods of irony. Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Breathe. Ha-chu! Deep. Ha-CHU! Breaths. Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU!!

The cloak of invisibility wouldn’t have helped him at this point. The trip to the kitchen would be slow going, since he had to stop every few steps to sneeze one or seven times. He considered just going back to bed and waiting it out, but another three sneezes and a powerful shudder convinced him that something hot and liquid was a prerequisite to any kind of relief. And here came another wave of shivers, accompanied by – Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu!

He sniffed. Opened his bedroom door. Sniffed. Walked down the hall. Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. Here it comes. Ha- ha- ha- Sniff! Maybe he could make it to the end of the hall without sneezing. Sniff. Ha- ha- sniff! He’d made it to the end of the hall. Only four more hallways, two staircases, and a set of heavy wooden doors stood between him and the kitchen. Oh how wonderful it was to live in a giant, drafty mansion.

Ha- ha- ha- Maybe he could – ha- make it down – ha- the next hall without – ha- incident. He pressed his tongue hard against the roof of his mouth. Coming up on Moony’s room. Who was basically the reason he had this cold in the first place. Ha- ha- ha- Deep breaths, he told himself. Deep breaths. It wasn’t actually Moony’s fault he got sick. Ha- ha- It was Sirius’s own impulsiveness that had got him in this state. Ha- ha- ha- Plus, Remus was completely worn out, and it wasn’t even full moon yet. Ha- ha- The urge to sneeze became so powerful that Sirius had to lean against the wall for a second, trying desperately to fight it. Deep breaths, man, deep breaths. Ha- ha- ha- ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU!

Sirius was fairly gasping after that fit. His heart was racing again. No. No. Not again. He didn’t want to wake Remus. He sniffed. Sniffed again. He could get his breath under control if he tried hard enough. Just long enough to walk past this one room. Sniff. Ha- Sniff. Ha- ha-

A shudder ran through his spine, and he was done for. Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu!

“Who’s there?” Came a half-awake whisper from Remus’s room. Before Remus would have a chance to poke his head out the doorway, Sirius took off running. After a moment, he realized that he was panting too hard from the running to sneeze. Now why hadn’t he thought of that in the first place?

Finally, he made it to the kitchen. He paused at the big wooden double doors, gulping for breath. He was pleasantly surprised to find that the running had warmed him up enough that he wasn’t shivering anymore, and now that he wasn’t shivering, he’d at least temporarily lost the urge to sneeze. Without wasting a second of this unexpected window of opportunity, he rushed into the kitchen and set to work filling the kettle, lighting the stove, and finding a suitable teacup. Between the sneezing and the running, he was a strange mixture of physically tired and wide awake. Chamomile, then. And some lentil soup to go with it. He was positive he’d feel much better in the morning.

[queenie]

@NoThankYou Yes, I do write a bit of fanfic, although not as much as I read, and not much here. I'm working on something original right now but I have plans for a Raven Cycle cold fic next. 

This is turning out pretty sweet.

[NoThankYou]

I can't edit yet, so I can't fix my mistake, but in the second part, it should say that Sirius "had come up with many ways to amuse himself inside in the cold SCOTTISH winters." As you may have guessed, I am not British, and all I remembered was that Hogwarts was definitely not in England. I've been using the HP wikia a lot in writing the next parts, so hopefully there won't be any more egregious mistakes.

I blame Torchwood for making me think about Wales. More specifically, Torchwood fanfic. Really, @RiversD, you should be ashamed of yourself for writing such good fanfic that I forget where Hogwarts is. (;

@queenie, do you have any HP fanfic on this site, or on another site? I'd like to read it! Can you link to it in this thread? (I totally understand if you don't want to link to something you wrote on another site, though.)

And without further ado, part 4:

 

Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! For the second time that night, Sirius awoke sneezing. Unlike the first time, he was not in his bed. Ha- ha- ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! No, that would be far too reasonable. But Sirius Black, irresponsible, immature, and completely inept, had fallen asleep over his lentil soup. In the kitchen. The cold, marble-floored kitchen. Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu!

He remembered that the last time he’d woken up, running had forced him to breathe hard enough that he had stopped sneezing. He decided to give it a try. He had nothing to lose.

He took a few deep breaths, and took off running. Out of the kitchen, up a staircase, down a hall, another staircase, a second hall, a third –

Sirius rounded the corner to the fourth and penultimate hall just as Remus was coming out of his room. He swerved just in time to narrowly miss a collision.

“Sirius?” Remus asked, surprised. At least, Sirius assumed he was surprised. He hadn’t actually stopped to find out. Turn the corner. One last hall. Open the door. Dash into bed. Wrap the blanket as tightly around himself as he could. Wish for a second blanket, but there was no way in Hell he was leaving his room again for anything until at least breakfast. Pant. Pant. Pant some more.

Gradually, Sirius’s breathing slowed. His heart-rate, however, did not. The effects of running were wearing off, and he could feel his whole torso tense in preparation for another sneezing fit.

But before it started, he thought he heard a knock. He pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, trying to hold off from sneezing at least long enough to listen. After a couple of seconds, there was definitely another knock at the door. Hold it. Hold it.

“Sirius?” It was Remus. “Sirius, you there?”

Sirius held his breath. He pressed his finger under his nose. Anything to keep from sneezing and blowing his cover.

“Sirius, I know you’re awake, I just saw you a minute ago.” 

So maybe he didn’t have a cover to be blown. In any case, he didn’t want Moony coming in. He was clearly in a rough state, and would be sure to catch Sirius’s cold. And when Moony caught cold, he really caught cold.

Sirius heard the doorknob starting to turn, and he hurriedly pulled the blanket over his head. He hoped Remus would be quick, because he could only hold off the sneeze for so long. Or more likely, sneezes, plural. No, don’t think about sneezing. Don’t think about how cold you are, how much you want to shiver, how damned badly you have to sneeze!

Sirius heard the door open. He heard Remus sigh. He was shaking slightly with the effort of not sneezing. He tried to make his laboured breathing sound like snoring. Damn. Merlin. Flamel’s bloody bollocks. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Sirius, I know you’re awake. You know I know you’re awake.” Another sigh. “But I suppose if you’re working this hard at not talking to me, you must have your reasons.” A pause. “You know, I was going to apologize. For over-reacting. For – for what I said. It was thoughtless of me, I know.” Another pause. “But you’re making it hard, do you know that? It’s hard to apologize for calling you immature when you are literally hiding from me, under a blanket. Right after running past me without even acknowledging me.” Another sigh. Apparently, the last fourteen years had not diminished Remus’s repertoire of sighs.

Shit. Don’t think about sighing. Ha- ha- He caught himself. Not going to sneeze. Not going to sneeze. But really, Moony, if you’re going to chew me out, at least do it quickly, because my head and chest are going to explode.

“Sirius. Padfoot. I just – I just want to let you know that I’m awake too. I’ve been having trouble sleeping. Not just from the – well – you know, but because of our fight. I don’t want to fight with you.” Another sigh. God-damn. “These are dangerous times, mate, and you know as much as I do that any conversation could be our – well – that we could, could lose – Oh, forget it. I know you’re awake, and you know I’m awake, and if you decide you want to talk to me, I’ll be in my bedroom.” A pause, thankfully sigh-free. “Good night, Padfoot. I – I really care for you. You’re my best mate. You know that.” One more sigh, and he finally retreated into the hallway, pulling the door closed behind him.

Sirius counted to twenty, to give Moony time to get out of earshot. Then he gave in to the most satisfying sneezing fit of his life. He started counting the sneezes in Latin, just for the challenge, and lost count somewhere around septendecim or duodēvīgintī. After what must have been a good minute and a half, he sneezed one final sneeze, and immediately fell into the deepest sleep he’d had for years.

 

For those who are wondering, septendecim and duodeviginti mean 17 and 18. I don't actually speak Latin, this just seemed like something a posh (former) schoolboy like Sirius Black would do.

[NoThankYou]

I was just reading "Day of the Black Sun REDONE" by @Bananagirl (which is really good, by the way), and I was struck by one of the comments. @Garnet said "I also think it's kind of rude to criticize something done as a request." I found that I could see both sides of that argument. When you're workshopping something in a writing group, you generally *do* want constructive criticism. When it's already published, you probably don't. Posting fanfiction online is kind of in-between, especially on fanfic sites where you can go back and edit your posts. I think what it comes down to is what the individual wants on that particular fic.

So I'm going to state that, for this fic specifically, I *would* like constructive feedback. It's my first HP fanfic, and frankly, I haven't read the books in years, although I've read a LOT of really good fanfic written about them. After realizing I'd messed up where Hogwarts is, I started using the Harry Potter wikia extensively to try to avoid more mistakes. I also just switched my spell-checker to UK English. But I'm sure there are still things slipping through the cracks, and I'd really welcome corrections.

And, interestingly enough, *because* it's a request fic, I am more open to constructive criticism about the story and style themselves. The A:tLA fic I started posting (and will be fully posted once I can use the Adults Stories Board) was written when I was going through a lot, and writing about fictional characters in a completely different situation was one of the ways I worked through some of my issues. I edited and re-edited it a lot over the course of around a year. This fic, while it certainly has pieces of me in it, is a lot less personal to me than the A:tLA one. So please, comment away.

 

TL,DR: Please feel free to leave constructive criticism on this fic!

[Red]

Oh, I just found this fic and I find it amazing! Especially the last chapter was so, so great! I'm looking forward to the next chapter and hope for some nice Sirius/Remus stuff 

[NoThankYou]

Part five

Remus sighed as he slowly lowered himself onto the bed. Swung one leg up. Oof. The other leg. Ouch. Even breathing was slightly painful, his chest was so tight. Merlin. He hadn’t had a month like this for years. Maybe it was the stress. Maybe it was a reaction to all the protective charms put on 12 Grimmauld Place. Maybe it was just random chance. Whatever it was, absolutely everything hurt.

Remus tentatively shifted around in his bed, trying to find the least painful position. His back ached so badly, but he knew he’d regret it in the morning if he slept on his side – he always woke up with even more pain when he did so. Finally, he gave up, and pushed himself into a sitting position, his back resting on the two pillows he’d propped up against the wall. As gloomy as the mansion was, at least there were pillows in abundance.

He thought about his encounter with Sirius in the hall, as he’d been about to go down to the kitchen to make himself some chamomile. At least, he thought it was Sirius. He hadn’t been entirely awake, and he had been somewhat distracted by the pain, but he was fairly convinced it had been him. On the other hand, he knew for certain that Sirius had been awake when Remus had gone into his bedroom. He had heard him, literally shaking with the effort of holding back laughter. And to think Remus had been about to apologize to him.

Sirius could be such a prat. He was actually enjoying Remus’s misery. Remus wished said misery on Sirius – let him know what it’s like to hurt so much you can’t get back to sleep after you wake up in the middle of the night. And Remus was convinced it was Sirius who had woken him up in the first place. He didn’t have a clear memory of how he’d been woken, just remembered hearing a noise. Probably Sirius calling his name, or howling like a wolf, or something else equally immature, before literally running away. Had this really been his best friend?

Well, actually, no. Sirius had never been Remus’s best friend. He had been James’s. Remus had always played second fiddle to those two. He could almost understand Peter’s resentment at his lesser status among the Marauders. Remus felt suddenly nauseous. Had he just justified a murderer’s motive? No, Peter’s actions were completely indefensible. Resentment was one thing. Betraying a friend and his wife to a genocidal fiend was quite another.

Back to Sirius. He’d had a point about how he hadn’t had much opportunity to mature during his adulthood. But he didn’t have to be so cruel. The teasing had been bad enough, but this? Waking him, and then laughing at him when he came to talk? Remus’s hands balled into fists in his frustration. He hissed. Making fists hurt. His back hurt. His knees hurt. Everything, everything hurt, and he knew the worst was yet to come.

How could Sirius compare this to PMS? Not that he’d ever experienced PMS, but there was no way that it was this painful. The pain exhausted him. Staying indoors all day was giving him a headache, but didn’t dare go outside, knowing the cold autumn air would hurt his lungs, and make his bones ache. Besides, in this state, he was certain to catch a chill. He did not even want to think about what coughing would do to his ribs. Or sneezing. Merlin forbid.

PMS. Sirius, that prat. What was it he had said again?

Oh. Wait. It had been Tonks who had been teasing him, actually, not Sirius. Somehow, he couldn’t find it in him to be angry at Tonks. Anything she did was somehow automatically alright with him. Not that there was any mystery about why. She was a breath of fresh air among an Order mostly made up of grumpy old men. She was clever, brave, grounded, and sincere, and to top it off, she had a wicked sense of humour. And she was nice to him, genuinely nice to him, so of course the gentle ribbing – oof. Don’t think about ribs. Let’s go with gentle teasing. Of course the gentle teasing had been meant good-naturedly.

If only Tonks were a bit older, or Remus a bit younger. And not a werewolf. Forget it. Remus had made it thirty-five years without a romantic partner, he could make it a few years longer. Yes, thirty-five years of jealousy for everyone who found that special someone. Sirius had never been short on partners – not even partners really, more like admirers, willing to do anything for a kiss from the legendary bad boy, Sirius Black. And James had found Lily –

And look where that had gotten him. On the other hand, their tragically short marriage had led to Harry’s birth. Oh sod it, Remus was too tired and miserable to think philosophically about anything. There was no point in thinking about James and Lily. Thinking about them wouldn’t bring them back. He had to focus on the present.

Ow. Maybe not exactly the present. Maybe a point in the near future, a few days from now, after the transformation, when his body finally started to heal. Or better yet, he could just forget about the past, present, and future, and read a book.

He reached for his wand on the bedside table. He muttered a quick “lumos” for light, then accio’d the book he’d been reading toward him. It was a novel written by a Norwegian witch, which just happened to follow the adventures of a metamorphmagus and her best friend, an animagus who could turn herself into a dog. Nope, nothing Freudian about that. Nothing at all.

He flipped to page he’d been on, and started a chapter entitled “How Astrid and Hanne charmed the Italians.” He smiled. This would be a welcome distraction.

 

 

 

When I started writing this, I had every intention of it being Remus/Sirius. And then somehow this happened. I think in part because I didn't have it in me to let Remus be completely alone while Sirius was avoiding him.

To be honest, I don't buy Remus's and Tonks's relationship in the books. I felt like Rowling was giving us all the signs that Tonks was queer, and out, and happy with who she was. And I interpreted Remus's condition as being a metaphor for being gay and/or HIV+, in a slightly older generation than Tonks. So having them be suddenly hetero in the books seemed like a curve-ball.

Anyway - whoops! - in this fic, Tonks and Lupin are straight. Trust me, I am as surprised as you are.

I have never written Tonks before, so any advice and/or feedback will be extra-appreciated. You'll be seeing more of her in the coming sections.

[NoThankYou]

Part six

 

When Remus awoke, the room was bright with sunlight. He guessed it was about ten in the morning. He didn’t usually sleep this late, but he’d had a rough night. He was sure no one would hold it against him.

He very slowly pushed himself to a seated position, then very slowly rose to his feet. He had fallen asleep with his bathrobe on, and he decided that it was decent enough to wear around the house. He didn’t want to move his back or shoulders any more than he had to, so he would put off changing clothing until it was absolutely necessary.

Remus slowly made his way to the drawing room. The house seemed so much larger when it hurt to move. He thought about how much fun he would have had exploring it when he was younger, when the Marauders were all together. He felt bile rise in his throat. He could never think about the past without remembering that all that time – all that time! – Peter Pettigrew had been nothing more than a murderer in the making. Not only had he killed twelve innocent Muggles, and caused the death of two of their dearest friends, not only had he ruined the life of another dear friend, but on top of everything, he had to poison every happy memory Remus had of his youth. Remus breathed slowly through his nose, determined not to tense up with anger. His body was going through enough already. Just two more days, and he’d be out of the woods, so to speak.

Until the next month, of course.

Eventually, Remus heard sounds coming from the drawing room. A lively mix of jovial conversation, serious-sounding discussions, and the unmistakable sound of silverware clinking against plates. It seemed a bit late for people to be eating breakfast, but Remus was not about to complain about his unexpected luck. He was completely ravenous. He hoped that the breakfast involved meat. Red meat, specifically; poultry or fish weren’t going to cut it. He needed hearty food to get his strength up.

Upon entering the drawing room, Remus realized that people were eating lunch, not breakfast. He must have slept later than he’d thought. All the better, this meant that he had that much less time to endure until the full moon.

He glanced around the room, looking for a place to sit. Preferably near Sirius – he’d like to have a talk with him, or at the very least, force him to acknowledge his existence. But Sirius was nowhere to be found. There were three empty seats – two between Tonks and Bill Weasley, and another between Snape and a wall. That didn’t take much thought. He eased himself into the chair next to Tonks, and gave her something he hoped passed for a smile.

“Wotcher, Lupin,” she smiled. She made to give him a friendly thump on the back, but stopped suddenly when he flinched. “Blimey, Loops, you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he insisted. Something he had spent far too much of the last 35 years doing. Well, why not let her know how he really felt? It wasn’t as though he had a chance with her anyway. “Actually, no, I’ve been better. But I will be fine, soon. Just got to get through today and tomorrow.” He tried another smile, although only one side of his mouth cooperated.

“This must be the first time I’ve heard you actually say you’re not fine,” Tonks said, a little softly. “It must be really bad, then. I’m sorry.” She blushed. “I shouldn’t have teased you like that yesterday, Remus. I didn’t realize you were in such a bad way.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said with another attempted smile. He felt himself blushing too. What was he, a schoolboy? And let’s not forget that Nymphadora Tonks was not so many years out of school herself.

Although she was

older than James and Lily had been when they had gotten married. Older than they had been when they died. Remus closed his eyes. This was not helping. Thinking about them would not bring them back.

“You poor dear, let me get you a plate.” Remus blushed again. What must he look like to her? A frail, old, humourless man, no doubt. Just as well. No point in her thinking otherwise, that was more or less what he was.

The smell of steak and kidney pie brought him out of his self-pitying reverie. This was just what he needed. Despite his fatigue, it took every ounce of self-control he had not to dig straight in with his hands. The last thing he needed was to look like an uncultured savage. He accepted the plate eagerly, cut off a large forkful, and took a bite. Delicious. Warm, and savoury, and so very meaty. Absolutely perfect.

Remus finished his plate in no time. He saw Tonks smile.

“I guess you just needed a good meal, then. I can completely – ” she paused, “completely imagine

how you feel.”

Remus grinned. Genuinely. He still ached all over, but it all felt a bit more bearable with some food in his stomach. Tonks grabbed his plate and began filling it anew.

 

“You know, I can serve myself. I’m not that old and decrepit.” Why on earth did he just say that aloud? Was he flirting with her? This would not, could not, go anywhere, he reminded himself. She grinned again and gave him a playful shove. He tried not to wince too noticeably.

“Right, sorry,” she apologized. “I keep forgetting you’re–”

“Decrepit?”

“Not feeling well.” She was looking him in the eyes now. “I can never tell if you’re joking or not, Remus.”

He really liked it when she called him Remus.

The door opened, and in flounced Sirius. Really, a grown man, and he absolutely flounced.

Remus waited for him to inevitably sit next to him. Even if Sirius had been ignoring him before, there was no way he would choose a seat next to Snape over a seat between him and Bill.

And yet, that’s exactly what Sirius did. Really? Really?! Remus felt his cheeks grow hot. This was too much. Tonks or no Tonks, steak and kidney pie or no steak and kidney pie, he was not going to stand for it! He stood up and began marching toward Sirius’s seated figure. He got half-way there before he completely ran out of steam. The food had helped, but he still hurt. A lot. He changed direction slightly, and walked out of the room. He could rest in the hallway for a moment, then head back to his bedroom.

Just two more days. Less than 48 hours, really. He could make it through.

And then he would give Sirius the talking-to of his life.

[queenie]

I find myself feeling very sad about all the repressed feelings. So that's something you get to feel good about.

[NoThankYou]

Ah, queenie, you've found me out - I basically live to cause sadness. (;

 

Part seven.

Sirius woke up feeling slightly woozy, but at least he was in his bed. And covered by his blanket. So at least there were two points in his favour.

He noticed the sunlight streaming in through the windows, and figured it was late morning or early afternoon. He hadn’t actually seen an early morning in longer than he could remember. He’d been sleeping in a lot since he’d starting staying at 12 Grimmauld Place, having nothing better to do. And before that… well, let’s not think about before that.

He dragged himself into a sitting position. Late-night lentil soup notwithstanding, he was starving. He always got very hungry when he had a cold. If he was lucky, there might be some leftovers from the latest meal lying around. He licked his lips, imagining what food he might find. He could seriously go for some steak and kidney pie.

He shivered as he got out of bed. The instant the cold air hit him, he started to sneeze. Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Three quick, shallow sneezes. He waited. Was there more coming? There had to be more coming. Yes, here it came… He inhaled sharply… Ha- ha- ha- … ha- ha- … Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu!

Sirius groaned. On top of the chills and the sneezing, his throat was feeling scratchy as well. He changed into his warmest robes, and wrapped a scarf around his neck for good measure. If only he’d worn the damned scarf when he’d gone outside in the first place. Now he wouldn’t be able to go outside for days, by which point the weather would have grown even colder and wetter. Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Sniff. A-hem! Ha- ha-CHU! Ha-CHU!

Sirius groaned again. Well, why not? There was no one to hear him. If he hadn’t been feeling isolated before he’d caught cold… But under no circumstances was he getting anywhere near Remus. The last thing Moony needed was to catch this. Hanging around with Tonks was out of the question, too. She spent so much time mooning over Moony (ha ha), she was sure to immediately pass along any germs she came into contact with. But as soon as he was over this miserable cold, he was going to have a talk with her. She and Remus were clearly infatuated with each other, and Moony was either too shy, too depressed, or too damned thick-headed to make the first move. It would have to be up to her. Sirius was used to Moony’s patented mix of self-deprecation and self-pity, but he expected better of Tonks.

Sirius thought about what Remus had said the night before. Or rather, what he hadn’t said. That any given conversation could be their last. He may have felt earlier that he had all the time in the world, but there really was so much uncertainty. Remus could be taken away from him at any moment, just as James had been. He needed to talk to Remus as soon as possible.

Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU!! The shallow sneezes weren’t so bad, but the powerful ones, the ones that seemed to originate in his chest and which shook his whole body, were really starting to hurt. No, he couldn’t expose Remus to this. He shuddered, realizing that, weak as Moony currently was, a cold like this could literally be the death of him. Sirius needed to find a way to get better, and fast.

Well, there was the best potions-master of the British Isles in this very house at the moment. If only Sirius hadn’t spent seven years torturing him, maybe there would be some chance of good will between them. But really, Snivelus had been asking for it. Moping around like a kicked puppy half the time, spewing Death Eater garbage when you least expected it. He had hurt Lily,

and no one hurt Lily and got away with it.

Regardless. He needed Snivelus – he needed Snape – to help him get better quickly so he could stop avoiding Remus. He ran a comb through his hair, adjusted his scarf, and left the bedroom.

Where was – Snape ­– likely to be? Probably the drawing room. That’s where people tended to gather lately. He wasn’t sure what he would be able to offer Snape in return for the potions. Perhaps he could take advantage of his guilt over getting Remus sacked. After all, the main reason Sirius wanted to get better quickly was to protect Remus.

Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU! A-hem! Ha-CHU!

Groan. The secondary reason was pretty compelling, too.

When Sirius got to the drawing room, he saw that everyone was eating lunch. He also saw that there were precisely two open seats left. One between Remus and Bill Weasley. The other between Sniv – Snape and the wall. Perfect. That meant he could talk to Snape right away. He avoided Remus’s eyes as he sat next to Snape. He sniffed, trying to stave off a sneeze. He felt it hovering between existence and non-existence. He sniffed again, and felt the proto-sneeze dissipate. Good. It seemed luck was on his side for once.

Merlin’s overgrown beard! Again with the tempting fate. He saw Remus stand up, and head straight toward him. He willed Remus away, the way he’d willed the sneeze away. Miraculously, it worked. Remus suddenly veered to the left and out the door. Away from Sirius and his germs. Perf- no, leave it. Right. Anyway. He cleared his throat. Ahem.

“Hey, er, Snape.”

Snape looked up sharply. “What?” he asked. Growled, really. And there were people who thought Remus was an animal.

“I was thinking. About how, well, you’re such a superior potions master…”

“Where is this leading, Black? Is this the set-up for a prank? Because I really don’t have time for that. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we are currently on the brink of all-out war with the most dangerous wizard since Grindelwald.”

Sirius shook his head. “No, no. It’s nothing like that. I just – ha- ha- j-just – ha- ha-chh!”

Sirius sneezed into his elbow. Snape grimaced distastefully. “Well. I need a favour.”

“Big Bad Sirius Black, brought low by a cold?” Snape smirked. “If I weren’t so committed to the Order, I would just let you suffer. Maybe I will, anyway. It’s not as though you’re of any use to anyone right now. If you end up bed-ridden, at least you’ll be out of everyone’s way.” 

Sirius bit his tongue. Snape was deliberately baiting him, and he would not rise to it. He needed to be on Snape’s good side. He was starting to remember why he and James had hated Snivelus so much. He sniffed, trying to look dignified despite his sniffling and his hitching breath.

“It’s not for my sake. It’s – ha- ha-chh! – i-it’s – ha-chh!” He took a deep breath and braced for the worst. Ha-chh! Ha-chh! Ha-chh! Ha-chh! Ha-chh! He sniffed. “Bloody Hell.” He cleared his throat.

“You were saying?” That damned smirk! Snape was enjoying this altogether too much.

“I was saying that – that – ha-chh! – that it’s not just for my sake. It’s – for Lupin’s. He’s pretty p-poorly right now, and I can’t take care of him while I’m like – ha- l-like – ha- ha- like – this.” Ha-chh! Ha-chh! Ha-chh!

Sirius was glad that everyone was wrapped up in their own conversations, and no one seemed to have noticed Sirius’s quiet sneezing fits. Except Snape, of course, but that was rather the point.

“You want to take care of him?” Snape raised an eyebrow. “Since when do you care about taking care of anyone?”

“I’ve always cared about my friends,” Sirius retorted crossly. He forced himself to relax his scowl. “Listen. I know I was a – a – ha-chh!– I was a stupid git when we were young. And sometimes I still am.” Snape raised the other eyebrow, as though to ask Sometimes? Sirius ignored him. He was having a hard enough time getting his message across between sneezes. He did not want to get waylaid. “But even you must have noticed that Remus is not well. This is not the usual, er, you know. He’s weak, and in pain, and I need to b-be there for him, especially tomorrow night. But in his state, I’m afraid of what might happen if he catches my – m-my – ” Ha-chh! Ha-chh! Ha-chh!

“Your cold?” Snape asked mock-innocently. Sirius sniffed and nodded. “Alright. I’ll help you. For Lupin’s sake. Under one condition.”

“What?”

“You stay in your room and keep your germs to yourself. Really, going around sneezing all over. Just because youcan’t do anything useful doesn’t mean that no one else has anything important to do.”

Sirius didn’t reply, as much to avoid sneezing as because there wasn’t a civil word in his head for this tosser. He sniffed and nodded, and without another word, left the room to head back to bed. He was so relieved by Snape’s promise to help, and so distracted by the chills running down his spine, that he didn’t even notice when he walked right past Remus.

 

[Red]

I was busy because the semester had started and now I found three new chapters of your story! 

It's gorgeous. And I love, love, love part seven! 

[NoThankYou]

Glad you're enjoying it, @Red ! By the way, I'm guessing by your flag that you're German... I had a scene including a Comedian Harmonists record floating around in my head (the scene was floating around in my head, not the record), although it didn't quite make it in. It seemed like something Lupin might listen to, since he listened to a lot of jazz music in the movie.

 

 

Part eight

 

Remus had stopped to lean against the wall, a few meters away from the drawing room. Part of him wanted to just collapse, but he knew that a hard wooden floor in a draughty hallway was nowhere to rest. He wished his room were closer. He wished it didn’t take so much energy to Apparate. He grimaced as his back spasmed suddenly. Apollo’s Bow, shoot me now, just put me out of my misery.

The opening of the drawing room doors drew his attention. It was Sirius. Good. Maybe he would finally acknowledge him. Or even ask about his health. As though he cared. As though anyone cared.

Sirius walked right past him without even looking at him. Remus should not have been surprised. Of course Sirius was too self-absorbed to even remember how much pain Remus was currently in. When had he ever cared? He eased himself off the wall and began walking back to his room.

After a few steps, Remus remembered that Sirius had shown that he cared. Many times. Why else had he spent years as a child learning to be an animagus? Every month, Sirius, James, and he-who-would-best-be-forgotten had come to visit him in the Shrieking Shack. And just yesterday, before that stupid conversation, he had been asking Remus if he was alright. Why then was he putting so much energy into ignoring Remus now?

Maybe Remus had finally crossed one line too many with the comment about not maturing since Hogwarts. Or maybe – Remus couldn’t deny the possibility – maybe he was just sick of Remus’s constant whinging. So sick of it – sick of him – that he would rather sit with Snape than listen to one more complaint.

Well then. Best to lay low the next couple of days. Rest up. Keep out of everyone’s way. Especially Sirius’s.

Finally, Remus reached his bedroom. He eased the door open and sat down on his bed. His stomach growled. He could have easily eaten that second plate of food, or even a third, but it was too late for that. Maybe his book would distract him.

Before he could pick his book up, he heard a knock on the door. “Come in,” he called, wondering who it might be.

Snape entered, carrying a draught of Wolfsbane Potion. Remus avoided his eyes. On the one hand, he resented him immensely for getting him fired from his first steady job in years. On the other hand, he was dependent on him for the monthly potions.

“Cheers,” Remus murmured, and drank the draught in one gulp. While he was handing the beaker back, he caught Snape’s gaze. Now Snape’s eyes dropped to the ground. He took the beaker from Remus, and turned to leave the room. “Wait,” Remus said. Snape paused. He turned to look at Remus, but he did not step closer. “Sirius sat next to you at lunch today.”

“Yes,” Snape replied flatly.

“Did he say anything to you?”

“About?”

“Er, about me.” Remus paused. “I, um, I think he’s avoiding me.” How embarrassing, to have to ask Snape of all people for information about Sirius!

“He is,” Snape replied lightly, and turned back to walk out of the room, robes billowing behind him.

Remus was sure that Snape charmed his robes to make them extra billowy.

So, Sirius was avoiding him. Even Sirius – Padfoot – couldn’t stand to be around him anymore. The man had survived years in Azkaban, and he still didn’t have the patience to be around him.

Remus heard another knock. “Come in,” he said again, hoping that this time –

“Wotcher, Loops.” Well, that wasn’t so bad either. It would appear that Tonks wasn’t sick of him quite yet. And there was that unmistakeable smell… “I brought you some vittles. You didn’t eat much at lunch today.”

“Cheers, Tonks!” Remus’s mouth was already watering. “Please, sit down. Er…” He blushed as Tonks sat next to him on the bed, rather than bringing over the chair by the writing desk. She handed him a plate covered in a cloth napkin, which he removed to reveal what he was already smelling: a large chunk of steak and kidney pie, a good-sized mound of red cabbage, and a giant slice of chocolate cake. In her other hand, she held a cup of Earl Grey tea. Heaven.

“Blimey, I forgot about silverware. Got any quills lying about?”

Remus indicated his desk with a slight tilt of the head.

Tonks stood up, and took two quills from Remus’s desk. Then she sat down, nearly brushing against Remus’s arm as she did so. “Well then. Make do with what you got.” She flicked her wand, and they transformed into a knife and fork.

Remus grinned. “You’re a wonder, Nymphadora Tonks. I don’t deserve – this.” He had almost said ‘I don’t deserve you,’ but he’d caught himself at the last second.

“If you mean you don’t deserve to feel like you’ve been trampled by centaurs, then yes, I most certainly agree. Eat up, Loops.”

“Aren’t you having any?” He hoped she would say no.

“Already ate. Go on. Eat.”

Remus did not need more urging. Oh, but the food was marvellous. And the tea was perfection. When he had finished, Remus noticed that Tonks had picked up his copy of Astrid of Kiiperi on his bedside table.

“Do you like it?” she asked.

“I do. I know it’s for children, but it’s nice to read something light-hearted, given the state of the world. Have you read it?”

“It was one of my favourites when I was a school-girl. Nice to read about someone like me, you know?” She started leafing through it. “Haven’t read it in years. What’s your favourite part?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t gotten very far. I did rather like the chapter about the Council of the Trolls. You?”

“Hard to say. So many good bits. Where are you now?”

“I’ve just read the chapter about the Italians.”

“Yeah, that’s a good one.” She smiled absently, probably remembering the episode. “Oh, that means you’re coming up on one of my favourite chapters.” She paged through to where Remus had last read. She seemed to have almost forgotten he was there.

Remus swallowed. He wouldn’t mind it if she stayed a while, reading Astrid while he rested on the bed beside her. He tried to place his now empty plate on the nightstand where the book had been without disturbing her, but his movement broke her trance.

“Sorry. Got caught up in the book.” She looked up at him. A concerned look crossed her face. Remus had forgotten to force himself to smile. “And you should be resting.” Remus’s heart sank. He did not want her to leave.

“Would you like to read for a bit?”

“You mean read aloud?” Remus hadn’t meant that, but why not? “Alright, Loops, you get yourself comfortable.” She stood up to allow Remus to lie all the way down. Then she sat at the end, near his feet. “ ‘The Moliños of La Mancha.’ ” She paused. “Oh, before I start reading, there’s something I want to tell you.”

“Yes?”

“Well, there’s this Muggle book, Don Quixote de La Mancha, with a chapter about moliños. But some Muggle scribe left out the squiggle, so he wrote it down as molinos!”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Molinos. It’s Spanish for windmills!” She grinned. “Can you imagine it? And there’s this chapter where that Don Quixote bloke tries to fight moliños and they completely destroy the poor bloke. But imagine, because of a squiggle, instead of being defeated by the most vicious dragons this side of the Ural Mountains, he’s beaten up by a piece of Muggle technology!” She chuckled. Remus smiled, as much in response to the laugh as to the ridiculous image of fighting a windmill. “Ah, well. Muggles are pretty nutters. Where was I? Oh, yes. ‘The Moliños of La Mancha.’ ”

Remus closed his eyes. His back still hurt, and his joints still ached, and he felt the beginning of a headache, but he was full of good food, and a beautiful young woman was reading to him. Things could certainly be worse.

 

Sirius waited patiently in his bedroom for Snivelus Snape. Well, perhaps not particularly patiently. But he was waiting, and he’d quarantined himself to his room as requested. It had been hours since their discussion. The Potions Master was probably enjoying the thought of his misery, letting it drag on as long as possible.

Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU! Sirius groaned. His chest ached from all the sneezing, his nose was sore, his throat was scratchy, and by the one eye of Odin was he hungry. He had completely forgotten to eat while talking to Snivelus, and it was probably dinner time by now. He groaned again, thinking about the beautiful steak and kidney pie, surely consumed by people who had not appreciated it half as much as Sirius would have. And the red cabbage, bright purple and tangy in this grim and gloomy house. And the chocolate cake. There was not enough chocolate in the world to make up for fourteen years in close quarters with Dementors.

Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU! Ha-CHU! Ha- ha- ha- The last sneeze was cut off by a coughing fit that had Sirius bent double. He groaned louder. Where the blazes was Snivelus with his damned potion?

As though on cue, he heard a knock at the door. Without waiting for a response, Snivelus entered, robes billowing behind him. Remus had a theory that he’d charmed his robes to do so, and Sirius was inclined to believe it.

Snivelus – Snape paused, not far from the doorway, eyeing Sirius dolefully. “I’ve made you some Pepper-Up. I’ll leave it for you here.” He looked over Sirius’s cluttered desk, and rather than clearing a spot, simply put the draught on top of a pile of books. Old, expensive books, Sirius thought. The git. Still, best not to bait him.

“Cheers, Sn-ape.” Sirius caught himself just in time. He sniffed, hoping he could pass the hesitation off as the beginning of a sneeze. He was rewarded for his troubles with a real one or three, followed by another harsh coughing fit. Oh, his poor aching chest. His poor raw throat. His poor empty stomach. “Er, Snape,” he could not bring himself to call him Severus, “I don’t suppose you could bring me something to eat, could you? Now that I’m quarantined to my room, and all?”

“I am not your house elf. Summon Kreature if you’re hungry. Good day.” With that, Snivelus turned on his heel, and with a dramatic flourish of the robes, made his exit.

Sodding Snivelus Snape. Sirius went to his desk, quaffed the draught, grimaced at the taste, and delicately set the empty beaker in the one clear spot on his desk before he was hit by a wave of heat. He felt the steam coming out of his ears. It didn’t feel half-bad, and it relieved the pressure of the headache that had been building all afternoon. He weighed his options. Summon Kreature and deal with his petulance and racist nonsense. Or wait here to starve to death. He sighed – which turned into another coughing fit, but not as bad as the one before the Pepper-Up – and decided to summon his house elf. Had to keep his strength up if he wanted to be there for Moony by tomorrow night.

[NoThankYou]

Dear Readers,

I've technically finished the story, but I'm really unsatisfied with how Tonks reads. I don't know how to write her and I think it shows. I'd like some constructive criticism before I post the rest, so I can improve the other scene with Tonks in it.

The next very short bit doesn't have Tonks in it, so I'll post it here.

-NTY

 

Part nine

Sirius awoke the next morning feeling significantly better. His throat was still a bit raspy, but it didn’t hurt to swallow. He had chills, but they were mild, and frankly, they were more likely be due to the draughtiness of the mansion than due to illness. After testing it, he found he could even breath through his nose.

Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Ha-chu! Maybe that hadn’t been the brightest idea. Still, he was pleased to note that the sneezes were not nearly as strong as they had been the previous day, and they no longer hurt his chest. He stood up, and began dressing, careful to choose something warm. He cleared his throat as he tied a scarf into a smart ascot. Might as well look nice.

Sirius was about to open his door when he remembered the deal he had made with Sniv – with Snape. He wanted one more dose of Pepper-Up before seeing Remus. Which meant quarantine.

Reluctantly, he summoned Kreature, both to bring him some breakfast, and to pass along the message to Snape that he needed another draught.

 

[lilysneeze]

A bit of tension relief between Sirius and Remus would be nice

[NoThankYou]

Dear Readers,

So it's been almost a week since I've posted (other than that tiny bit), and I'm too impatient to wait anymore. I guess I shouldn't try to treat this like a writing workshop - and obviously, I wouldn't take this story to an actual workshop. (; So yeah, Tonks is probably super out-of-character, but I think we'll all survive another day.

Anyway, don't worry, @lilysneeze , resolution is coming. This is the second to last part.

-NTY

 

Part 9.5

Remus awoke in pain. So much pain. He had thought that yesterday had been bad, but this was far worse. He was glad he had eaten well the day before, because the thought of eating now made him nauseous. Even if he had

felt like eating, he was in no shape to walk to the kitchen or the drawing room.

Sunlight streamed in through the window. While he knew that strong daylight indicated it was later in the day, and therefore closer to sunset and moonrise and eventually sunrise the next day, it was also much harder to take than a soft dawn glow would have been. His head throbbed, and he swallowed to keep himself from being sick. He hadn’t a hope in the world of getting himself to a lavatory, so he’d need to keep everything down.

Later on – it could have been minutes, or hours – Remus heard a knock. He tried to tell whoever it was to come in, but it came out as a wheeze. Fortunately, they opened the door anyway.

It was Snape. He was carrying a tray with a beaker, a glass of water, a slice of toast, and a steaming cup of black tea.

“Cheers,” he whispered. He tried to sit up, but found himself unequal to the task. He shuddered with pain, setting off a spasm in his back. The room swam before him. When it cleared, Snape was standing beside him, one arm reaching around Remus’s shoulders and the other hand slipping under his lower back.

“Easy does it,” Snape murmured, helping Remus slowly ease into a seated position. The effort set off another series of spasms that left Remus gasping. Snape picked up the tray from the nightstand where he’d left it, and brought it to Remus. “Take this first,” he said, bringing the Wolfsbane Potion to Remus’s lips. It went down surprisingly easily, perhaps because the horrid taste didn’t even register over the agonizing pain. “This should help, too,” Snape added, now bringing the teacup to Remus’s lips.

Remus blew, and took a tentative sip. It tasted – off. “What’s in this?”

“Willow bark. For the pain. It won’t completely get rid of it, but it should make it – bearable.”

Remus felt warmth radiating down his back. He hoped there wasn’t any strange interaction between willow bark and Wolfsbane. On the other hand, if it did turn out to be fatal, at least he wouldn’t be in pain anymore.

Snape brought the teacup to Remus’s lips again, and he took another sip. “That’s – not half-bad. Really, cheers, Snape. Severus.” The partial relief merited a first name.

“You’re welcome.” Severus paused. “Shall I stay a while?”

“That would be nice,” Remus was surprised to hear himself say. He started to shift, in order to give Severus room, but Severus stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm.

“The chair will serve just fine, thank you.”

Remus sighed, then yawned. The pain was fading to a dull thudding ache, one that he could actually ignore enough to have a conversation. Or fall asleep. He felt himself starting to drift, his head leaning to one side, when a spasm in his neck jolted him awake. Snape brought the cup to his lips again. Each sip dulled the pain a bit more.

“Cheers, Severus. I really appreciate this. I don’t suppose I’m terribly good company at the moment.”

“Yes. Well. I don’t suppose I’m ever terribly good company.” Remus was tempted to comment that it might make things a bit easier if he didn’t go around getting people sacked and being generally insufferable, but he restrained himself. Beggars can’t be choosers.

“Severus.”

“Yes, Lup – er – Remus?”

“Am I really so unpleasant to be with?”

“Pardon?” Snape looked up sharply, eyeing Remus suspiciously.

“I just mean, well, hardly anyone came to see me yesterday. And Padf – er – Sirius has been avoiding me. Which takes some effort, considering he can’t leave the house. It just, well, it stings a little is all.”

“I cannot speak for others, but I would presume that people have not been to visit you because they wish to let you rest. I don’t suppose you’ve looked in a mirror lately?”

“But what about Sirius? You said yourself that he was avoiding me.”

Snape sighed. “Yes, he is, but trust me, it’s for your own good.”

It was Remus’s turn to look up sharply. Ow. His neck did not thank him for it. “My own good how exactly?” he asked, wishing he could move his arm enough to rub the back of his neck. Snape offered another sip of tea, which he took.

“Again, trust me on this.”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but it does seem a bit odd. We’re talking about my best mate here.”

“And we are talking about the man who tormented me for seven years. Who once actually tried to get me killed, on a lark. I’m sorry, Lupin, but I believe your ‘best mate’ is a psychopath.”

There was not a great deal Remus could say in Sirius’s defence. “He’s changed,” he said, uncertainly.

“Has he?”

“Well…” Good question, actually. “Did he tell you why he’s avoiding me?”

Snape stood up. “Apparently besides being personal potions maker for the two of you, I am now also your message-bearer? No thank you. I presume you can drink the rest of your tea by yourself.” He stood up and walked out before Remus could answer.

As a matter of fact, no, Remus could not drink the rest of his tea by himself. Nor could he lay down again. Stupid Snape and his stupid billowy robes.

Hold on a minute. Personal potions maker for the two of them? What did Sirius need potions for? Was he ill? Injured? Dying?

Remus thought back again to the last conversation he’d had with Sirius – at least, the last two-way conversation. The last thing he had said to Sirius was that he hadn’t matured since Hogwarts, without thinking about exactly what Sirius’s life had been like since Hogwarts.

And then barging in on Sirius in the middle of the night, angrier than he’d been willing to admit. Maybe Sirius hadn’t been holding back laughter at all. Maybe he’d been holding back tears.

And then, in the drawing room, literally marching over to Sirius, eyes ablaze, ready to dress him down in front of anyone who happened to be in the room at the time.

No wonder Sirius was avoiding him. Remus was wretched, and he was bringing everyone else down with him. Sirius was not avoiding him for Remus’s own good – it was out of simple self-preservation. And now he could be knocking on Death’s door…

Remus heard another knock. He no longer cared who it was.

“Loops?” That unmistakable Cockney accent. He had no desire to see her, but he needed someone to help him lie down again.

“Come in.”

The door opened, and Tonks stepped in, tray of food in hand. This time with silverware. The smells of rabbit stew and of silver both aggravated his nausea. He swallowed.

“How’s it going?” Tonks asked softly, drawing up the desk chair.

“Not great,” Remus admitted.

“Oh. Hungry?”

“No.”

“Ah.” She flicked her wand, and the tray she had brought disappeared. She looked at the tray that Snape had brought, still sitting on the nightstand. “Did you want anymore of your tea?”

“I do. But it hurts too much to move. So.”

Tonks picked up the teacup and held it to his lips. He took a few more sips, and felt his muscles relax a bit more.

“Cheers. That’s loads better.” He moved his arms experimentally, and found that they didn’t give him too much trouble – they ached, but they didn’t spasm. He reached toward the teacup, and Tonks handed it to him. He sipped at his tea until he had finished it. He sighed with satisfaction, and tried a vague smile. Tonks smiled too, although the worry on her face was unmistakeable. “Tonks.”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for visiting me. I know I haven’t exactly been the most fun to be around.”

“Well, I like being around you.”

“Even when I’m like this?”

“I hate that you feel so rotten. But I like you. And if I can make you feel better in any way, I’d like to try.”

Remus smiled, then frowned. “You shouldn’t have to bear the burden alone.”

“Remus. You are not a burden.”

“I feel like one. Even Sirius is avoiding me. He said as much to Snape – to Snape! Sirius Black would rather talk to Snape than to me! I mean, no offence to Snape.”

“Oh, please, offend away. The bloody git got you sacked.”

“He also personally makes me Wolfsbane Potion every month. But yes, he is a git. Anyway. Sirius is my best mate, and he doesn’t want to be anywhere near me.”

“Well. I do have a theory about that.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.” Was it Remus’s imagination, or did she blush?

“Well? Out with it!”

“I think he’s avoiding you because, er, because the two of you feel very differently about each other.”

“I see. Well, when I say ‘best mate,’ I understand that I was never his best mate, but with James gone, I thought – oh, Merlin. I was driving him batty, wasn’t I?”

“That’s not exactly where I was going with this.”

“Well, where were

you going with this? Don’t bother to spare my feelings, I’d rather just know.”

Either Tonks was blushing, or the tincture was making Remus’s colour vision go wonky. “I, er, I might just be projecting, but – oh, never mind.”

“Spit it out!”

“Remus Lupin, I think my cousin is in love with you.”

“WHAT?” Clearly there was something other than willow bark in the tincture, because Remus was definitely hallucinating. Then it struck him, the last thing Tonks had said before that. “Er, Tonks, when you say ‘projecting,’ …”

“Oh, sod it, Loops, are you really that daft? Yes, I’m in love with you. Happy now?”

“Actually… yes.” He couldn’t help it. He grinned like a fool. Then he remembered. “But Nymphadora, you know of course that it would never work.”

“Oh wouldn’t it?”

“Of course not. I am too old, and too poor, and too dangerous –”

“Remus Lupin, the most dangerous thing about you is your overwhelming sense of self-pity. If you don’t drown me in your tears, I’ll be fine.”

“Tonks. I’m a werewolf.”

“I am aware.”

“Every month –”

“Every month, I will procure you Wolfsbane Potion. And read you children’s books, if need be. Oh, and I almost forgot.” She reached into her robe and brought out an enormous bar of chocolate. “Are you hungry yet?”

“Ravenous. However. Ladies first.”

“Antiquated old bugger.” She made to give him a playful shove, then stopped. “Alright, Loops, I’d better start keeping count of all the shoves I can’t give you. Because as soon as you’re better, I’m making up for lost time.”

“Looking forward to it.”

[queenie]

I don't... as you may be aware, I am a Sirius/Remus shipper of well over a decade, so it's really serious when I say that this interaction with Tonks was SO CUTE omg. Poor Remus is in such pain, and he cares so much about everyone else. 

[NoThankYou]

Thanks, @queenie. I've been a Sirius/Remus shipper for about the same amount of time. Let's call this hetero!Lupin/Tonks AU, shall we? (:

And here you go:

Part ten

Sirius was writing in his newly begun diary when he heard a knock. Before he had any time to react, the door opened, and in walked Snape.

“Please, don’t get up.” Seeing Sirius at his desk, Snape made to leave the beaker on the nightstand. “I do believe this should do it. I now consider myself officially released from my ministering duties.”

“Cheers, Severus,” Sirius called out brightly. “Oh, but before you leave, I’ve got something for you.”

“Oh?” Snape raised an eyebrow, suspicious. As he ought to have been.

“Yes. Hang on a moment. I’m sure I’ve got it on me.” Sirius stood up and walked toward Snape, patting his bathrobe pockets as though looking for something. “It’s got to be around here somewhere. Oh, yes, here it is – Ha-CHU!” With deliberate aim, he sneezed right in the doleful professor’s face.

Snape sputtered, turned red, opened his mouth, and closed it, presumably unable to come up with something sardonic to say. Anger etched upon his sallow face, he turned to the door, and made the most magnificently billowy exit.

Sirius quaffed the Pepper-Up in one gulp. Almost immediately, the tickle was gone from his throat, and his nose felt delightfully clear. He felt a rush of heat, and steam coming out of his ears, and he knew that it was only a matter of hours until he would be able to see his Moony again. Not a moment too soon.

 

 

 

 

 

The clock was striking seven when Remus blew out the candle by his bedside. All things considered, today had not been horrible. No, not horrible at all.

After a chat and a bar of chocolate with Nymphadora Tonks, he had dozed on and off all afternoon. She had come back at around six, with dinner and another willow bark tincture, care of Severus Snape. Apparently, Snape was feeling too under the weather to bring it himself.

They had chatted again for a while, and she had read him another chapter of Astrid of Kiiperi. Before leaving, she had leaned in to kiss him, and then had stopped. At that moment, Remus had been sure that she had finally thought better of it, and had decided that she could do better than this grumpy old lycanthrope. But she had told him that she wanted both of them to thoroughly enjoy their first kiss, so she’d have to hold out until the next day. One more thing to look forward to.

While the willow bark took the edge off of the pain, Remus was still exhausted, and he decided to make an early night of it. The moon would be rising within the hour, and with any luck, he’d be able to sleep right through it. That is, with luck, willow bark, and Wolfsbane.

Remus had just drawn up the covers when he heard a knock. Who would be coming this close to moonrise? Not wanting to end this day on a sour note, he tried to ignore it, but the knock returned, insistent. Finally, the door opened, and in walked Sirius Black.

“Moony?”

“Padfoot.” Remus sat up, and lit the candle with a flick of the wand. He shifted to one side of the bed. “Please, sit down.”

Sirius sat beside Remus, looking sheepish.

“Moony –”

“Padfoot ­–”

They both started at the same time, then paused. Then, uncharacteristically, Remus began speaking first.

“Padfoot. Sirius. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry –”

“Please, let me finish. Padfoot, mate, I was a cad. I took out all my grumpiness on you, and you hadn’t even been the one teasing me. And what I said, about, well, you know. It was thoughtless. And I should have been thinking. You’ve been through a lot.” He paused, sighed. “I’m just so glad to have you back. In any form, in any disposition. You were right to avoid me.”

“Moony, you’ve got nothing to apologize for. I completely over-reacted to what you said, knowing full-well that you were stressed out and in pain. I – I wanted to talk to you sooner. But I couldn’t.”

“Why not, Padfoot? Were you that angry? Am I that loathsome?”

“Remus Lupin, we don’t have much time before moonrise, so I will have to ask you to save your self-deprecation for tomorrow.” Sirius said it sternly, but his eyes twinkled. “I was avoiding you because I had a cold.”

Remus snorted. “You expect me to believe that?”

“It’s true. It was a really nasty cold. And I was worried, that, in your state… Especially after what you said, about how any conversation could be our… you know.”

Remus chuckled and placed his arm around his friend’s shoulders. “Sirius Black, you worry too much.”

“I believe that is the first time anyone has ever said that to me. Likely to be the last, too.”

“Don’t say that,” Remus said quickly. “Things being as they are, just – just don’t use the L-word right now.”

“You know, Moony, when people say ‘the L-word,’ they usually mean ‘love.’ ”

Remus blushed, thinking of Tonks’s theory.

“Er, Padfoot, mate, about that…”

“Yes, about that. Moony, if I have to watch you and my cousin sit around not asking each other out any longer, I am turning myself back in to Azkaban.”

“No worries, Pads. It’s all sorted. We even, er, almost had our first kiss this afternoon.”

“Almost had your first kiss? Merlin’s beard, Moony, you don’t waste time!”

Remus started to give his friend a playful shove, but he stopped, hissing in pain.

“Alright, Moony, enough chatting. You’ve got resting to do, and I’ve got caninizing to do.” Remus raised an eyebrow at ‘caninizing,’ but didn’t say anything. Sirius stood up, took a deep breath, and transformed himself into a large black dog. He then jumped back up onto the bed, crawled next to Remus, and licked his face.

Remus grinned, and slid down into a lying position. Padfoot gave his face another lick, then curled up at the end of the bed by Remus’s feet. “Night, Pads.”

 

 

“Woof.”

 

 

FIN

[queenie]

Sirius is still such a little shit. He cares about Moony so much, though-- despite his possible crush, he only wants his Moony to be happy. 

[Red]

I still enjoy you story! Very well written and I like how you discribe the characters  

[NoThankYou]

On 10/30/2016 at 10:35 PM, queenie said:

 

Sirius is still such a little shit

 

Queenie, you made my day with that comment. (:

Well, I hope you all liked the story. It was fun to write. And now I'm back to Avatar: the Last Airbender, so I can turn off my British English spell-check.

-NTY