Exit Strategy - Secret Santa for haeeshoo!

[matilda3948]

 haeeshoo! I got you in Secret Santa this year  I hope you enjoy reading your story as much as I enjoyed writing it! I had so much fun brainstorming to come up with a good idea. Happy Christmas!

 --Matilda 

**

"Exit Strategy"

Bethany took one last look at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t prone to bragging but even she had to admit she looked pretty great—her deep purple dress hitting just below her knees, black heels she would pay dearly for tomorrow, and her long auburn hair slicked straight with just a little curl at the edges. She looked sophisticated and, even if she didn’t feel like it, she looked like she belonged with the wealthy art enthusiasts she was about to spend her evening with. One of her favorite underground artists had recently come above ground when she was “discovered” by one of the cities most respected curators. Tonight was the opening exhibit in a very swanky gallery uptown and Bethany was ecstatic (if a bit nervous) to go to the show.

The gallery was swarming with people. It seemed like you couldn’t take a step without bumping into someone. The atmosphere was energized and Bethany was pleased that the guests seemed to properly appreciate the beauty of the artist’s work. These were large installations showing the demise of native plant species from around the world due to climate change. Whenever possible, the artists had imported indigenous plants and cultivated them herself in a small, homemade greenhouse she’d built in her studio. As a result, many of the walls were covered in exotic flowering plants. Bethany tried to imagine the logistics of creating even one of these installations and it made her head spin.

“Incredible, isn’t it?”

She turned towards the voice and hoped she didn’t blush when she saw the attractive man at her side. He was handsome—tall, mid 30's, brunette in a crisp white shirt and grey pants that had obviously been tailored just for him, squared jaw, blue eyes framed by wire-rimmed glasses. Classically handsome.

“Incredible,” Bethany agreed.

“It takes her eight months to grow these before they’re sturdy enough to be transplanted into the final installation piece. Imagine the patience to cultivate a live art piece.” He was clearly talking to her but his eyes were glued to the art.

“Not to mention the vision,” Bethany said. This time he did glance at her and smiled.

“How do you mean?” he asked.

“Oh. Well, um, I mean each one of these seedlings starts out only a few inches long. She has to already have the finished product sketched out in her mind in order to know how many of each species to plant, how many of each color, the right time to transplant them. And she did that for fifteen different pieces. The logistics and incredible.”

“I hadn’t thought about that,” he said. “But you’re right—it is impressive.” He turned to face her and held out his hand. “I’m Jonathan.”

“Bethany,” she said, shaking his hand. He smiled at her and they made their way towards the next art piece. Over the next hour they made small talk and circled the gallery taking in the stunning array of live plants and flowers. Bethany was impressed with Jonathan’s knowledge and she was listening to him summarize a recent lecture he’d attended on the Anthropocene when she felt a sudden, sharp tickle at the bridge of her nose. She brought a finger up to her nose and did her best to discreetly rub the tip back and forth but it did little to ease the uncomfortable itch. If she didn’t know any better she’d say it felt like the start of summer when her allergies really went into overdrive. Allergies! She groaned and looked around the room. It’s no wonder her nose was starting to bother her; she’d been surrounded by strange flowers all evening. No telling which flower (or flowers) she might be allergic to.

“Everything okay?” Jonathan asked.

“Yeah. I just uh…forgot something but it’s fine.” But it was very not fine. In fact, since that first tickle a few moments ago it seemed like her allergies were quickly waking up—her eyes were beginning to itch and she was forced to sniffle against the dampness that was filling her nose.

“Would you like a drink?” Jonathan asked.

“That would be lovely. Thank you.” Bethany was glad to have a moment alone—well, not alone really since she was still crammed into the bustling gallery with a hundred other people, but at least she wasn’t trying to maintain conversation with a very attractive man. She sniffed as loudly as she dared and rubbed her nose back and forth. To her horror, Bethany realized she might need an exit strategy sooner rather than later. If this really was an allergic reaction as she suspected, she didn’t have long until she would start sneezing and she absolutely could not have an allergy attack in this gallery. Growing up, Bethany’s friends had teased her terribly for her sneezing fits. She was a legend in her sorority in college, nicknamed “Sneezy” because of the repeated violent fits she would suffer every spring. No matter how hard she tried, Bethany couldn’t sneeze just once…or twice or three times. No, she had to suffer through fits of a dozen or more sneezes multiple times a day. And of course they couldn’t be quiet, petite, little sneezes. Oh no, they grew in intensity and volume until by the end she would be doubled over, breathless, and dizzy. The thought of suffering through an attack like that in the middle of this crowded space would be humiliating.

“Here you go.” Jonathan came up beside her and held out a glass of champagne.

“Oh, Jonathan I am so sorry but I just got a phone call and I need to be leaving,” Bethany said. His smile faded and she knew what he was thinking. “I’m not blowing you off,” she said. “I actually do have to go.” And right now, she thought to herself. The tickle in her nose was no longer coming and going; it was constant. “I would like to give you my number though,” she said quickly. “Maybe we could grab a drink another night?”

“Sure. I’d like that, Bethany. I’ve really enjoyed talking to you tonight.”

“I have too. And I’m sorry I have to go.”

They exchanged phone numbers slower than Bethany would have liked and she politely declined when he offered to walk her to the door. She really thought she was going to make it when her traitorous nose finally decided enough was enough. Her breath hitched sharply and turned suddenly to sneeze into her hand. Luckily, the noise of the gallery competed with the sound so it wasn’t too noticeable but she still felt herself blush.

ahh…Ahh…AHHHtschhhoo!

“Bless you,” Jonathan said. She sniffed and did her best to make it look like that was an isolated incident.

“Thanks. I’ll talk to you later,” she said and quickly started moving towards the door. Bethany’s breath was already growing shallow in anticipation of another sneeze—this was going to get much worse before it got better. Her eyes were burning and tearing up to the point that it was making it difficult to see clearly. She bumped into two people and when she paused to blot at her streaming eyes she saw she was still miles away from the door. Her nose burned with the overwhelming need to sneeze—nostrils flaring and twitching, causing her to sniffle more and more frequently to keep her runny nose in check. There was no way she would be able to avoid it now; an uncontrollable, violent sneezing fit was inevitable. Her only hope was to find some semblance of privacy before she humiliated herself in front of all these people. As it was, she felt like some of them were staring at her. Logically, she knew she was exaggerating and she had, perhaps, received one or two curious glances at best but she was getting desperate. As Bethany’s breath began to hitch she made the quick decision to duck into the bathroom—it wasn’t really the privacy she wanted, but it was better than sneezing her head off in the middle of the art gallery.

The door had barely shut behind her when

ahh…Ahh…AHHHtschhhoo! AHH! hehhAHHKTSHHHooo! hehh Ehh…

She sniffled wetly and tried to keep her eyes open long enough to find a paper towel but it was impossible.

hehhAHHktsshhh! AHHTSHHHHoo!

“Bethany?” A familiar voice was to her left. It was Jonathan. Had he followed her into the bathroom? What a creep! Who follows a woman he just met into the bathroom?

AhhhTSCHHHooo! HAHHHTSSHHHOOOO!!

Oh, she was going to tear into him just as soon as she stopped sneezing. Just because she gave him her number didn’t give him the right to—

Ahh AHHKTSHHHooo! AHHSNSSHHHOOOO!!

“Bethany, take this,” he said, putting a handkerchief right next to the hands she had cupped over her nose and mouth. She did her best to scowl at him; she definitely took a step away from him when he tried to place a hand on her back.

ahh HAHH…AHHHNTSHHHooo! AHH…ahhSHHHHOO!!

The sound of her sneezing echoed off the tiled walls and, angry though she was, Bethany was incredibly grateful to have Jonathan’s handkerchief. She was a drippy, itchy mess and she wasn’t done.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to see if there’s a doctor out there?” Jonathan asked, the worry clear in his voice. She shook her head but stayed arm’s length away from him.

“Just allehhhAHHtschhoo! AHHTSCHHHHOOO! Ahh AHH…allergies…” she managed to gasp out in between sneezes.

“Okay.”

“Go away,” Bethany sniffled.

“I can’t leave you here like this,” he said.

“I’m fihhEHH…” Bethany decided she’d yell at him later. Right now all she could focus on was the clawing, fiery, needling inside her nose. She clamped the handkerchief to her nose and took a huge, shaky inhale before another round of sneezes overtook her.

hehh AHH…hehhAHHTSCHHooo! AhhhTSHHOOO! Ahh AHHKTSHHHooo! AHHSNSSHHHOOOO!!

A final, massive hehhAHHHKTSSCHHHHOOOO!! and she sagged against the bathroom counter. She straightened up and pushed her hair out of her face, sniffling, and trying to catch her breath.

“Oh God,” she moaned and blew her nose.

“Bless you! Are you okay?”

“For now,” she said. Jonathan pulled a few paper towels from the dispenser by the sink and held them out to her. Bethany mopped up her eyes and did her best to clean off the eye makeup that was running down her face thanks to the onslaught of allergic tears. If she wasn’t so furious at Jonathan for following her she might have been humiliated. Instead she was just severely embarrassed.

“I’m assuming this is why you were in such a rush to get out of here?” he asked. Even though her eyes were bloodshot, her nose an angry pink, and her hair was disheveled, he still found her wildly attractive.

“Yes. It was. And what’s your excuse?” she snapped.

“Excuse me?”

“You better have a good reason for following me,” she said.

“Following you? What are you talking about?”

“I suppose you just make it a habit to follow women into the bathroom?”

“Oh.” He at least had the decency to look embarrassed. “Um, Bethany—”

“I’m not interested in whatever you have to say, Jonathan. Obviously I was wrong about you.”

“Bethany, you’re in the men’s bathroom,” he said.

“I’m so tired of—wait, what?” She looked around for the first time. Yep—those were urinals against the back wall. She definitely went into the wrong bathroom. “Ugh!” She dropped her head into her hands. “As if the allergy attack from hell wasn’t bad enough! Why can’t the ground just open up and swallow me whole?”

Jonathan did his best to disguise his laugh as a cough and then he took a couple steps towards her, tugging her hands away from her face.

“The ground can’t swallow you whole until I’ve had a chance to take you on a proper date,” he said. She glanced up.

“You still want to go out with me even after I yelled at you?” she asked.

“Absolutely.”

“And even after witnessing me sneezing like an out of control maniac?”

“Without a doubt. Although I was a little worried about you,” he said.

“It’s just what happens when I’m allergic. Likely to be a repeat performance after picking my way through this crowd to get to the front door. Something really set me off.”

“That’s an understatement,” he said. “Can I please make sure you get to a cab safely?”

“I suppose I can’t embarrass myself much more at this point,” she said. “Thank you, Jonathan. And, for the record, I wasn’t wrong about you.”

“I’m very glad to hear that,” he said. He tore several more paper towels from the dispenser and folded them into a neat square before tucking them into his coat pocket. He held the door open for her and they moved back into the crowd. He kept a hand on the small of her back and wove them through the mass of people between them and the door. It still took longer than Bethany would have liked and by the time they made it outside she was sniffling and rubbing at her nose again. “Are you okay?” he asked. She nodded.

“Going to sneeze again is all.”

“Here you go,” he said, handing her the paper towels he’d snagged earlier. She tried to thank him but she didn’t get a chance before.

ahh…Ahh…AHHHtschhhoo!

“Bless you.”

hehhAHHktsshhh! AHHTSHHHHoo!

“Bless you again,” he said, splitting his attention between the sneezing woman and trying to hail her a cab.

ahh HAHH…AHHHNTSHHHooo! AHH…ahhSHHHHOO!! AHHTSHHHHoo! ehhhAHHtschhoo! AHHTSCHHHHOOO!

“Bless you,” he said quietly, placing his hands on her shoulders. When Bethany was done blowing her nose she saw that there was a cab waiting at the curb for her. “You’ll be okay getting home?” he asked.

“Yeah. Worst of it’s probably over and I’ll take something when I get home.”

“Okay.” He ran his hands down her arms and took her hands. “Feel better, Bethany and I’ll call you tomorrow.” She smiled and got into the car. Just before he shut the door she said,

“Despite all this,” she said gesturing to her face, “I had a really nice night.”

[bben9-kun]

Nice homie matilda3498

[Chanel_no5]

WOOOH! I know this wasn't for me, but I LOVE it!  The setting is just beautiful.

18 hours ago, matilda3948 said:

She brought a finger up to her nose and did her best to discreetly rub the tip back and forth but it did little to ease the uncomfortable itch. If she didn’t know any better she’d say it felt like the start of summer when her allergies really went into overdrive. Allergies! She groaned and looked around the room. It’s no wonder her nose was starting to bother her; she’d been surrounded by strange flowers all evening. No telling which flower (or flowers) she might be allergic to.

Surprise allergies... lovely.  

18 hours ago, matilda3948 said:

No matter how hard she tried, Bethany couldn’t sneeze just once…or twice or three times. No, she had to suffer through fits of a dozen or more sneezes multiple times a day. And of course they couldn’t be quiet, petite, little sneezes. Oh no, they grew in intensity and volume until by the end she would be doubled over, breathless, and dizzy.

*purrs*

18 hours ago, matilda3948 said:

Her nose burned with the overwhelming need to sneeze—nostrils flaring and twitching, causing her to sniffle more and more frequently to keep her runny nose in check. There was no way she would be able to avoid it now; an uncontrollable, violent sneezing fit was inevitable.

Oh, this is delicious...  

18 hours ago, matilda3948 said:

“I’m fihhEHH…” Bethany decided she’d yell at him later. Right now all she could focus on was the clawing, fiery, needling inside her nose. She clamped the handkerchief to her nose and took a huge, shaky inhale before another round of sneezes overtook her.

 at her deciding to yell at him later. And the rest of it is beyond hot.

18 hours ago, matilda3948 said:

If she wasn’t so furious at Jonathan for following her she might have been humiliated. Instead she was just severely embarrassed.

 

19 hours ago, matilda3948 said:

“Bethany, you’re in the men’s bathroom,” he said.

“I’m so tired of—wait, what?” She looked around for the first time. Yep—those were urinals against the back wall. She definitely went into the wrong bathroom. “Ugh!” She dropped her head into her hands. “As if the allergy attack from hell wasn’t bad enough! Why can’t the ground just open up and swallow me whole?”

Jonathan did his best to disguise his laugh as a cough and then he took a couple steps towards her, tugging her hands away from her face.

“The ground can’t swallow you whole until I’ve had a chance to take you on a proper date,” he said. She glanced up.

“You still want to go out with me even after I yelled at you?” she asked.

“Absolutely.”

“And even after witnessing me sneezing like an out of control maniac?”

“Without a doubt. Although I was a little worried about you,” he said.

“It’s just what happens when I’m allergic. Likely to be a repeat performance after picking my way through this crowd to get to the front door. Something really set me off.”

“That’s an understatement,” he said

This was both hilarious and romantic at once.  

 

[Shay]

This was a cute sweet story, and your descriptions of allergic torture were excellent. It was rather obvious that she'd ended up in the men's bathroom, but it was still amusing nonetheless. I certainly wouldn't mind reading more should you choose to continue this.

[NoV]

On 12/18/2016 at 3:48 AM, matilda3948 said:

“I’m fihhEHH…” Bethany decided she’d yell at him later. Right now all she could focus on was the clawing, fiery, needling inside her nose. She clamped the handkerchief to her nose and took a huge, shaky inhale before another round of sneezes overtook her.

 

 

hehh AHH…hehhAHHTSCHHooo! AhhhTSHHOOO! Ahh AHHKTSHHHooo! AHHSNSSHHHOOOO!!

Wow  Great story - and plenty of sneezes for the price of admission too  

[StaraiRoalanstjay]

I absolutely adored this story! 

[Sneezingnonstop]

Loved this story!! Great work!

[Shamaël]

This is such a wonderful story! The increasing allergies are amazing and the characters are both lovable.

[haeeshoo]

@matilda3948 Thank you so much matilda for your perfect gift!! I love the setting, I love how you managed to incorporate all the requests - color me impressed!

The moment the sneezing becomes inevitable... perfect hotness!

A thousand thank yous

(By all means, feel free to write a 2nd part if you wish to continue the story )

 

[Snzlover]

This was amazing, love the two allergy attacks and setting. And flowers.amazing work, wouldn't complain about a part 2 (;