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A Fine Bit of Horse Play

March Hare

By March Hare
in Original Fiction

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March Hare Say what I like, like what I say

March Hare

Posted
Posted

well I dunno... just felt a sudden urge to write a story about a guy with horse allergies. it's a bit light on the sneezing maybe, but there's going to be more where this came from... the REAL horseplay hasn't even begun! :twisted:

---

“Excuse me, but are you Miss Lisa Sotheby?”

Lisa turned around to face a tall, rather skinny young man, clad in a black coat and shirt and a faded pair of jeans. He wore a well-worn grey hat on his head with a lot of bushy black hair protruding from underneath. His eyes were dark grey and his whole appearance gave an impression of honest, down-to-earth vagabond spirit. Lisa was struck by how handsome he was.

She put down the rake and stretched her back briefly before wiping her hands on her slacks and nodding. “The same. And you are?”

“Daniel Chadwick. The new lodger. I’ve come to take a peek at my new quarters.”

The lodger. Oh, right. Old Jem’s advert in the paper. Large attic room in rustic farmhouse for rent over the summer months. They’d been swamped with reactions. Jem had had interviews with those whose letters had sounded good. Apparently this one had been approved of. She could see why, by the way. But wasn’t this guy supposed to come next week?

At her asking, he smiled a bit shyly and nodded. “True. But to be honest, I was just curious. So I decided to drop by and see if anybody were willing to give me a bit of a tour around the farm.” And he gave her a most charming smile.

“Well, I suppose I could take five to be of assistance, seeing as how you’re going to provide us with such a handsome extra income,” she replied, smiling back. “Mrs Sterling is absent, but I know the way quite as well as she does. D’you want to see your room first, or shall we take a stroll around the grounds?”

“Oh, the grounds by all means. From what I’ve seen of it already, this place is paradise. Do you keep animals?”

“A few. Chickens and two goats and a cow, and my horses of course. I love to ride. But mostly we live off the garden. Jem – I mean, Mrs. Sterling, though I daresay she’ll be Jem to you soon enough – grows just about everything that’s edible or nice on the eye in there. But let me take you to the stables first.”

He acquiesced readily and they set off, talking thirteen to the dozen. Lisa found him agreeable company, genuinely interested in small farming and animals and plants.

“These are my horses in here,” she said proudly, pointing to the stable. “My friends and steeds. Would you like to meet them?”

The look on his face was just a tad doubtful. He averted his eyes and shifted his feet, as if he were shy, or just loath to disclaim. Also – was it her imagination, or did his nose just give the tiniest twitch?

“Uh… yeah, okay.” Now he looked at her, a hint of determination in his eyes. She was a little confused by his attitude, but made no comment. Instead she held the stable door open and beckoned him inside.

This time his nose really did twitch. She saw it with amusement. Surely he could not be…

Oh, this was getting interesting.

He made a polite gesture that said ‘no, you go first’ and she did, looking over her shoulder to make sure he didn’t sneak away. Really, he could just say it if he didn’t want to see the horses, now couldn’t he?

“Here they are,” she said, as they stood inside together by the boxes. “This beautiful lady is my lovely Dulcinera, and this cute kid’s name is Little Black Sambo.”

“I see. F-fine animals, both of them,” he replied, his voice a trifle unsteady. He turned around as if to get a view of the rest of the stable interior, but she did notice that he was giving his nose a quick and fierce rub before turning back to her.

Dulcinera nuzzled into Lisa’s hand, making soft snuffing sounds. She took no notice whatsoever of Daniel. Sambo, however, shook his ragged mane and twitched his ears, then stretched his neck eagerly to get a better look at this tall, lean stranger that his woman had brought into his house.

Daniel automatically backed off a few inches, looking distinctly uncomfortable now. He rubbed his nose again, then suddenly he took a quick, sharp breath and turned away, sneezing harshly into his fist. “Ektssh!” His body almost doubled up with the force of the sneeze, shuddering violently.

“Bless you,” Lisa said, keeping her voice as light and casual as she could over the sudden insane increase of her heartbeats per minute.

“Thanks,” he muttered, not looking at her. “Say…” hesitating, obviously quite unwilling to say what he was about to say. Then his nose twitched again, and he shook his head, looking determined again. “Look, Lisa, I’d better tell you right away. I do like horses, and yours are really wonderful-looking. But… well… I must tell you I’ve got this terrible horse allergy. So if you don’t mind I’ll go outside now.”

And he turned on his heels, and walked out.

Well. Lisa stood rooted to the spot, her hand on Dulcinera’s neck.

Well, he could’ve told me before. I would’ve saved him the indignity, now wouldn’t I?

Or would she? A grin spread over her face. Actually, she wasn’t so sure, now.

“Well, well, my lady,” she murmured lovingly into Dulcinera’s ear, “seems like we’ve made ourselves a rather - interesting - acquaintance.” And turning to the pony: “You seemed to like him, now didn’t you, Sambo dear?”

“Huhh-tshh!” A very audible sneeze came from outside. Lisa could feel herself started to glow inside. She smiled broadly to herself, unable to restrain her mirth. She fed each of her darlings a carrot from her pocket, patted them on the necks and whispered a greeting in their soft ears, then went outside to join Daniel.

He was standing a few metres away, shoulders a bit hunched, face buried in a large blue handkerchief. The sight of that piece of fabric made Lisa’s heart pound even faster. Just as she emerged from the stable, he lifted his head and she saw the closed eyes, the flaring nostrils and curling upper lip before his head snapped down in a convulsive, half-stifled sneeze. “hhIDSSHH!”

“Bless you,” she said, walking up towards him, brushing off her coat and slacks with both hands. “And I apologize. I wouldn’t have taken you in there, had I known.”

He lifted his head and looked at her, a delightfully sneezy expression still on his face. His nose glowed a fiery red and his eyes were glistening. “I know, it’s okay. I should have told you. But I did want to see your horses, and they are gorgeous. I just wish they didn’t make me sneeze so much,” he added with a slightly rueful grin.

She couldn’t help uttering a soft laugh at this. “Are you all right?”

“Oh, yes. I will be in a few minutes, at least. Right now my nose is still itching like crazy,” he said, folding the handkerchief and rubbing it hard over his nose, which started to look very red indeed.

“I’m very sorry,” she murmured, hoping she didn’t sound like the awful hypocrite she knew she was.

“Don’t be,” he said airily, lowering the hanky. “It’s no big deal. I just…” he cut off in mid-sentence, inhaling sharply and sneezing immediately afterwards, “HETSCHaah! Huhh… hehTTSSH! UTSCHOO! Sniff…”

He hadn’t sneezed into the hanky, but rather just above it, giving her a full and perfect view. She bit her lip, praying that he hadn’t seen her stare. Leer. Devour him with her eyes. As he lifted his head to blow his nose, she looked away with a swift movement of her head.

If he’d noticed anything at all, he didn’t let on. Instead he said: “Ugh! They’re bad this time,” obviously meaning the allergies, all but making Lisa scream with nervous laughter.

“Come into the house,” she suggested, “and have some ice water or another cold drink. Should do you good.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, sniffling a bit. “Think I will. Then you can show me the attic, too. I must say I’m really looking forward to living here, you know.”

“Despite the horses?” she asked, giving him a mischievous look.

“You know,” he said slowly, looking right into her eyes with an expression that made her shiver, “maybe even partly because of them…”

--TBC!--

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ID2006 Say what I like, like what I say

ID2006

Posted
Posted

mmmm...Please write fast....As much as I love the excitement of knowing there is more, I still REALLY REALLY want to see it.

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Scarlett Centurion

Scarlett

Posted
Posted

You have combined two of the most wonderful, beautiful things in my life, into a story.........horses.......and a sneezy man :twisted: I don't know how to thank you :) Please please please please please please please please continue!!!!!!!! :D

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Shay Say what I like, like what I say

Shay

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Posted

That was lovely, do please continue. :twisted:

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Sneesee Say what I like, like what I say

Sneesee

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OMG! Awesome! Please do write more when you have the time!!! Just like Scarlett said, those are two of my most favorite things-Horses and attractive sneezing men!!! YUMMY!!!!! :twisted:

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tma Say what I like, like what I say

tma

Posted
Posted

Wicked, wicked person you.

Obviously it didn't remind me in the Slightest of anyone. :o

I very much enjoyed- and am Very much looking forward to more misadventures. :o

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tma Say what I like, like what I say

tma

Posted
Posted
Wicked, wicked person you.

Obviously it didn't remind me in the Slightest of anyone.  :o

I very much enjoyed- and am Very much looking forward to more misadventures. :o

Who? Who is it? :D

I didn't mean to be so mysterious. Just certain things reminded me a bit of a friend from on here. :laugh: Will have to be a bit secretive till I know if it would be alright to divulge.

But............. I do think that You Miss Scarlett would enjoy yourself in place with lots of lovely horses and cute and sneezy lad. :o You'd make them feel very welcome. *tease, tease*

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Scarlett Centurion

Scarlett

Posted
Posted

I would most certainly :lol: Any horse allergic, handsome young man is welcome to come and lay with me in the hay whenever they like :innocent:

Still haven't got a clue who you are thinking of though! :innocent:

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tma Say what I like, like what I say

tma

Posted
Posted

well.... I can tell you.

It made me think of Wabbit. Something about the horses and the naughtiness :innocent: - it just seemed wabbity

mystery solved. lol!

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Wascally Wabbit Centurion

Wascally Wabbit

Posted
Posted

I'd have to agree with you there tma :innocent:

Made my nose itch just reading it. Excellent story. Can I play the lead when the film gets made?..must have real horses though :innocent:

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March Hare Say what I like, like what I say

March Hare

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  • Author
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Can I play the lead when the film gets made?..must have real horses though :innocent:

ooooh, hell yeah... and I'd get to play Lisa as it's my story :innocent:

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March Hare Say what I like, like what I say

March Hare

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  • Author
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workin on part Two, but it's going to be LONG and it's just stubborn, keeps stuck in my head.... so sorry folks, hang in there :yes:

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Spembob

Guest Spembob

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Posted

I have to say, that was fantastic! Too light on the sneezing? No no, just the right amount. Enough to tease me.... :) Can't wait for more!

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  • 5 years later...
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