"What the Cat Saw" - Hellsing Fic (m) - (2 Parts)

[Neesan]

I had to write this! A bunny bit the hell out of me and I wanted to play around with the Millenium gang. XD For those who don't know who's-who:

Check out my awesome detailed picture! ... Ok, it's not really, but still. XD Zorin is scratched out becase she's not in the fic (and scares the BEJEEBUS out of me!). o.O; Yes. And In my head Schrö is a werecat. ...yep! And I heart on Captain. He's so cute. =3 And I HAD to make him do wrong. *shakes fist!* Just because.. he never would. To hell with logic! I want him to sneeze, damnit! LOL! x3 Enjoy!

Oh and NO spoilers, really. Just them hanging out. Oh and this pairing = yuum! (Because of this picture ! hehehehe!)

- - - -

“Major, we’ve been informed that Ground Team 12 is on the move right now.”

“Excellent! Pull up the camera feed on the main screen, Doc.” The Major sat back comfortably in his oversized cushioned chair with a pleased smile on his face. His elbow went to rest on one arm of the chair, his chin resting on the heel of his fisted hand.

To his left, and on the floor, sat Warrant Officer Schrödinger happily enjoying a plate of crackers he was given earlier. On his right stood the always stoic human-statue, Captain Hans Günsche. Doc, the last person who was usually seen with the other three, was messing with the large monitor in front of them.

Doc turned some knobs on a control panel when the soft sound of static filled the otherwise empty room, then came silence as the picture on the screen became clear.

“There isn’t anyone there.” The Major pointed out the obvious with disappointment thick in his voice. And he was right, all the screen showed them was an empty alleyway to a large warehouse building.

Doc turned his head to the Major before backing away from the screen. “They should be in position soon, Major.” Doc tried a reassuring smile, but just as he did, static filled the screen once more and an error message began to flash.

“Gott im Himmel!” The Major muttered savagely as he stood up from his chair with little effort and made his way over to the large machine in front of him to see what the problem was.

Schrödinger boredly watched them, gloved hands raising another crisp to his lips. Before the werecat was able to get the tasty treat into his mouth, and odd and very out of place sound hit his very sensitive kitty ears.

“-ngxtch.”

Very soft, as quiet as a whisper, but Schrödinger heard it as clear as day. It was just a simple sneeze, but what interested the Officer was where it came from.

Raising his eyes upwards and to the side, Schrödinger glanced at the Captain who was still standing perfectly still. His barely hidden eyes were directed in front of him, hardly moving.

With an mental shrug, Schrödinger turned back to his crisps once more. Just as he got half-way through one of them, his furry black ears gave a little twitch.

“. . . hn’xtch.”

Just slightly louder than the other, Schrödinger looked up just in time to see the Captain’s nose move just a little with what he assumed to be a soundless sniffle.

“Gesundheit!” Schrödinger smiled cheekily to the blonde as a pair of cold eyes turned down tword him.

“. . .”

Captain Günsche, of course, did not say anything at all, but glancing down to acknowledge Schrödinger made the werecat smile happily. When Captain’s eyes lifted back to where his gaze had been previously, Schrödinger turned his own eyes back to the Major and Doc, both of them still trying to get the machine to start working again.

Just when the catboy thought all the excitement was over, no more than a moment had passed before his ears picked up on a soft sound.

“Hiih...”

Schrödinger’s quick eyes turned upwards, his head kept still as to not give himself away as he watched. What he seen was very interesting indeed.

The Captain’s eyes had closed to give him a look as if he had fallen fast asleep. Lips that were usually pursed and unspeaking were slightly parted with a very shallow inhaled breath. His closed eyes squeezed tighter, teeth bared as another quick and soft, “ -Ng’xcht!” escaped him, causing his head to snap downwards tword the large collar of his uniform.

Schrödinger watched with fascination at the display, even impressed with the small ‘snff’ the Captain gave before resuming his normal statuesque stance.

“Gesundheit, Captain.” A gloved fist went under the catboy’s chin as he turned slightly tword the very tall man. “I hope you’re not catching a cold.” A fanged and feral grin shone up at the Captain who had shifted his eyes back down tword the officer on the floor.

All that Schrödinger was rewarded with was a barely glared look from Captain’s eyes which clearly expressed his own negative response.

“That’s good to hear.” Schrödinger smiled sweetly and began to pick up and go through his treats once more. Captain Günsche didn’t sneeze any more, nor would Schrödinger know what had caused it. Probably nothing, but he did find the fact that Hans Günsche was deep down a normal human, and that made him smile.

- - -

Gott im Himmel = my crappy probably not right "God in heaven" (I gave up learning german for Japanese and look what fandom I run into!)

You all should know what "Gesundheit" means. >.>

- Kisa, who wants to be a werecat

[Chate Noire]

Miiiaoow! Love on big stoic men who sneeze!

I like Schrodinger's feline behvaior. Don't know the series, so in my mind he's a werecat too now. See how easy it is to manipulate the minds of cat-lovers? And fangirls?... So when will we see the final proof the Cap is actually allergic to Schrodinger? Hmm? Huh? Captain sneezing!

There just seem to be more and more studly guys in Hellsing, I just might give up and start watching/reading it soon...

Thank you!

[Neesan]

LMAO! Seriously! It's like, "oh hello sexy guy! What's that? You don't talk and just stand there? ...I make you sneeze a lot! MWAHAHA!" That's my thought process, yes.

He SAYS he's a werewolf, but like, then there are heated arguments about that and... I like him as catboy. I heart me some catboys.

OMG! Cappy Stoic-ass allergic to ickle Schrö! That is SO CUTE! *squee!* XD It was funny because I actually thought about that after looking at some Japanese art where Schrö gave him fleas.

You should! I hated it at first! LOL Now I can't get enough. (Good timing too, the OAVs are coming out soon! Yay! That = +20something episodes, and has the Millenium Nazi-crew in it. XD

[Garnet]

I hold that Schroedinger is a catboy. I mean... come on... his name is Schroedinger.

Anyway... ehehn. CAPTAIN makes me happy, I'll just... go reread this a few more times because oumm, HOT.

Hahah, you caught the Hellsing bug! I think I actually wrote a little snippet with Schroedinger sneezing once, because he's KYOOT. Now I'll have to go dig it up and maybe post.

P.S. HEATHEN!!!! ZORIN IS LOVE. You will worship her Farfarello's-horrible-twin-sister hotness.

[Neesan]

Yay! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought of that connection. XD

SQUEE! Sankyuuuu! I had to write him when I read on. He's tooooo hot.

I did! =O I paritally blame you, too. XD Which is good blame, for I'm happy with it. And yes, you should post it! ;D

AH HA! That is why she freaks me out!!!! I never thought of that. WAI! =O

[Neesan]

Well, I gave in and added a part two to my drabble (which isn't a drabble any more?). The first part can be found here. This is just still like, PG rated but NOW it has HINTS OF M/M yaoi. Just hints. Hehe. I couldn't help it! So, I warned ya!

To refresh memories and to pimp this cute bit from the manga... Here are: Captain and Schrodinger.

NOTES: The stupid anime made Captain's hair GRAY, but I said fuck that it's blonde. =\ Because gray doesn't work with him. I dunno. I like it blonde. Fanart ruined me. Hehe. Uhhm. I MAY add a third part with HARD yaoi, because these two are so my new favorite pairing ever. Depends on if I get around to do it.

And for some reason I keep calling Captain "Hans" or "Captain Gunsche" but they are all the same person. XD

Oh and you all can feel MORE than free to illustrate. *BIIIIIIIIG smile!* Ahem. Hehe. Here ya go!

- - - - - - -

For the next hour after the video began to work, Schrödinger became very bored and very restless. He ran out of his snacks and was balancing the empty plate on the toe of his boot to amuse himself. He ignored the idle talk between Doc and Major, since it was the same “kill and destruction” conversation as always.

When the Major finally stood up once more from his plush chair and announced that he and Captain were dismissed, Schrödinger had to contain the whoop of joy with much difficulty. He stood and brushed his pants off before he and the Captain both gave a salute and began to walk out of the room.

“I thought he’d never dismiss us.” Schrödinger muttered when they started to head down to their rooms. He crossed his arms behind his neck as the two began a steady pace down the empty corridor. Turning his head to look upwards at Captain, Schrödinger was surprised to see that Captain Günsche’s expression was not one of his usual stoic looks.

His usually wide eyes were half-lidded, parted lips peeking up just enough from the collar of his uniform jacket for Schrödinger to see. A glove hand raised to fist against the front of his face just before his footing slowed and came to a stop.

“Hiih’nt-xtch! Hii’HTCHht!”

Schrödinger, whom had stopped when Captain did, let his arms fall from behind his head and to his side as he watched the taller man’s shoulders shudder with the two suppressed and unusually forceful sneezes. Schrödinger realized that quite possibly he had been holding them in the entire hour when he was standing so close to the Major.

“Gesundheit. Are you sure you’re alright?” Schrödinger’s brow raised as the Captain’s slightly crooked knuckle rubbed against the underside of his nose.

Soft eyes turned down to the catboy and Captain gave a small little nod. The troublesome itch that had invaded his sinuses for the past few hours wasn’t going anyway and it was irritating him. In the presence of the Major, and pretty much everyone, Captain Günsche was very quiet. Never muttering a word. To succumb to a fit of random sneezing was just something he just didn’t do. For some reason, unknown to him, he felt quite comfortable enough to be more himself in the company of the werecat.

When he began walking once more, Schrödinger had moved as well, though when Hans looked down at him he seen the younger male looking up at him with an concerned look. Lifting the other hand which wasn’t still hovering near his face since his sinuses were not going to let him slide with just those two weak sneezes, Captain placed a gentle hand on top of Schrödinger’s head as the very corners of his lips twitched with a light smile.

This pleased Schrödinger immensely, and his bright smile up to Captain proved that. The moment was fleeting, however, when the Captain’s hand slipped from the soft blonde hair on Schrödinger’s head when his walking came to another stop. This time both of his hands came up to cup his nose and mouth and a deep breathed inhale was heard just before, “Huuh’TCHHM! Huhh’TSCHHM! . . . Huuh’TCHHHMM!”

This time, being a little less unrestrained and muffled into cupped hands the sound of the sneezing echoed in the empty hallway. Schrödinger’s ears even gave an involuntary twitch when the sound hit them. “Gesundheit.” He frowned up at Captain before walking over to tug at the bit of sleeve near Captain’s elbow. “Maybe you should see Doc or something?”

Sniffling rather dryly despite all the sneezing he was doing, Captain’s eyes glanced down to Schrödinger and shook his head slightly. He felt bad that he was worrying the other, but knew there couldn’t possibly be anything wrong with him. When had sneezing ever killed someone?

“I know! I bet you are allergic to me.” Schrödinger’s eats perked slightly as he bounced along Captain’s side which earned him a gentle smile from the tall man. They had started walking down to their rooms once more, though Captain Günsche would randomly sniffle gently or rub the side of his finger under his nose.

When they reached the doors of their rooms, Schrödinger stopped with Captain as they reached the latter’s room first. “Maybe I can be your bed-nurse tonight, just to make sure it isn’t anything serious.” The catboy’s eyes turned from playfully cheerful to deliciously devious in one passing moment.

Glancing down to Schrödinger, Captain actually considered this for a moment. That was until the fierce tickle in his nose struck once more.

His hard and thoughtful gaze down to the other became lax and unfocused. Seeing his lips clearly now, Schrödinger could see the white tips of the Captain’s teeth as his lips parted and raised in a slight sneer. Without bothering to cover this time, the sneer became wider as the lidded eyes fully closed before a sharp and quick double was sounded.

“Hiih’tschht! Ihh’TSCHHT!”

“Gesundheit...” Schrödinger tilted his head to the side, not really understanding or caring why he was just so fascinated with the Captain sneezing.

What happened next shocked the catboy more than the thought possible.

“Thank you.” Captain said in a very deep and very flowing voice that Schrödinger hardly ever heard. His voice was just slightly congested sounding, but all that did was make the tone lower and deeper than it already was.

The simple two words were enough to send a shade of pink across Schrödinger’s cheeks. Captain Günsche smiled softly at that as his hand moved up to take his hat off allowing the wild blonde hairs free. His other hand reached out to open his bedroom door, his large hand holding the middle opened as he turned his gaze back to the still slightly dazed Schrödinger.

Schrödinger looked up into the Captain’s eyes, which were slightly obstructed by chin-length honey colored hair and gave a devious fanged smile. Without a word, Schrödinger marched right into the Captain’s room and had he a tail, it would have been sashaying behind him.

[Geist]

*KA-SQUEEE!!!* That is SO KAWAAIIIIIII!!!!! *rolls around!*

EEE, I love CATBOIS!!!

~AkuBAKA!

[Neesan]

*KA-SQUEEE!!!* That is SO KAWAAIIIIIII!!!!! *rolls around!*

EEE, I love CATBOIS!!!

~AkuBAKA!

SQUEEEEEE! Sankyuuu!!! Hehehehe! Catbois RAWKZ! D:! LMAO!

AkuBAKA! HAHAHA! XDD

[Chate Noire]

Holy yumminess!! That is SO CUTE! Captain is sexy as hell. Seriously. AS HELL.

More! Part 3! Meow-yaoi!

[Neesan]

Holy yumminess!! That is SO CUTE! Captain is sexy as hell. Seriously. AS HELL.

More! Part 3! Meow-yaoi!

Squee! He SO is! I love him dearly.

I'm so going to have to add a yaoi part just because I haven't written yaoi in FOREVER and I should.