Sneezing during a rescue attempt-M story

[Sneesee]

I was editing a few things in one of my manuscripts and found yet another sneezing while hiding scene I just had to share! This is a scene where Brian and Rick (from the other scenes I've posted) are hiding out while they were trying to rescue Brian's girlfriend, Holly, who has been kidnapped. I just found it amusing after reading it again, and deicded to make you all read it! HA HA HA I'm sorry, but I love Rick's sneezes! I think he's one of my favorite characters, and I love making him sneeze!

As his eyes adjusted to the dark confines of the closet, Brian could still hear Sean ranting on about everything he’d ever done for Mr. J. Whenever Sean was silent, all Brian could hear was his and Rick’s labored breathing. This totally sucks, Brian said to himself. The plan to rush in and rescue Holly hadn’t gone like Brian expected. Not at all.

It began to get hot and stuffy in the closet, and Brian found it harder and harder to breathe. Rick didn’t look like he was faring much better with the beads of sweat that dripped down his forehead. Brian hadn’t wanted Rick to come along on this mission, but Rick had been so quick to go, despite Robin’s protests.

The stench inside the moldy old camper was beginning to give Brian a headache. He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Between the rancid smell of death in the closet, and the thick coating of dust on every surface, Brian couldn’t imagine how Holly had suffered through it for most of the day. He still couldn’t get over how calm she was earlier. She really is one tough cookie, he thought.

The minutes ticked by like hours, and Brian grew weary of listening to Sean’s complaining. Brian didn’t think he could stomach hiding in the closet much longer. When his left leg began to cramp, he cursed silently to himself. Brian shifted the leg slightly, barely moving an inch, just to try and work the cramp loose. In doing so, he inadvertently kicked up a large cloud of dust from something he hit on the closet floor. Conscious of his own tendency to sneeze in sticky situations, he quickly covered his nose and mouth with his hand and held his breath to avoid inhaling the dust. Unfortunately, he never had a chance to warn Rick. Out of the corner of his eye and with a sinking feeling in his stomach, Brian watched Rick take in a sharp breath. For a few seconds that felt like minutes, Rick seemed to struggle to try to control his breathing, but finally lost the battle, and then sneezed quickly three times in a row, the sound of each one reverberating through the tiny camper like shotgun blasts. Rick followed up with a muffled, “Sorry, Bri,” and a string of curse words that Brian had never heard Rick use before.

Brian closed his eyes and waited for Sean to discover them. Then he muttered under his breath, “Shit.”

[Dawnie]

That was very good. Thanks for sharing it.

[Neesan]

Wo-OW!!! That was really, really great! Love the struggle of that. Meow!