(FIC) A Big Sneeze in Smallville (Male)

[Sneesee]

This is a little piece I wrote by request, and really had a fun time doing it, once I knew where I wanted the story to go. This is hearby dedicated to Dawnie, for giving me the idea in the first place. Girl, go ahead and imagine Tom Welling sneezing, because here it is!

This story is based on the TV show, Smallville.

DISCLAIMER: 1. I have only just started watching this show recently, so I know I took quite a few liberties with the characters and their backstories, so if anyone is offended that it's not true to the TV show, SORRY!

2. If you don't like this TV show, then don't read this story, you probably won't like it!

3. I really did this for Dawnie, because she loves Tom Welling, so if no one else likes it, too darn bad! But, I really hope others like it!

4. I was so excited to post this when I finished, I didn't do a lot of proofreading, so if there are a lot of spelling errors and grammar problems, I apologize!

A Big Sneeze in Smallville

Lex Luthor had been noticing strange things about Clark Kent, especially since college started. It kind of irked Lex that he couldn’t quite put his finger on what exactly was different about Clark. With enough time and experimentation, though, Lex knew he could figure it out. It was time to set his plan in motion to find out what was going on.

Staring out of the window that overlooked his massive estate, Lex fingered an object. To most people, it would have appeared to be an ordinary rock, but Lex knew better. This particular rock had come from outer space, and he’d seen its powers work before.

“I’ll find out your little secret, Clark,” Lex murmured to himself. “It’s only a matter of time.”

“Now Clark, I really need to get this scoop, so please, please don’t blow it. Okay?” Chloe pleaded.

Clark suppressed a laugh. He knew exactly how important this story was to Chloe, and he had no intention of getting in her way. This could be the story that would make the Editor at the Daily Planet finally take notice of Chloe. Clark would play it cool and do exactly as Chloe wanted.

“I’m at your service, and will not do anything to screw this up, I promise,” he said with a small chuckle.

Chloe let out a nervous laugh and took a deep breath.

“You need to pretend you are my boyfriend, and that I’m shopping for a whole new look, including a glamorous makeover with Madame Botox’s cosmetics. I am going to prove once and for all that her claims with her products are completely false. I don’t care how much that woman sells; her cosmetics are awful, and full of things that cause cancer. I just know it, and now I’m going to prove it,” Chloe said in a hushed tone as they strolled through the Metropolis department store.

“I’ll do my best to behave.” Clark grinned.

Chloe let out an exasperated breath that tossed her blonde hair about her face. Then they marched on in the direction of Madame Botox’s cosmetic counter.

Lex had been following Clark and his pesky reporter friend Chloe all day long. At first, Lex thought it really was just a mundane shopping trip until he overheard Chloe say something about exposing Madame Botox for what she was selling. Since Madame Botox Cosmetics was actually run by Lex, he took a personal interest in what Chloe was after. Plus, he still needed to find out more about his buddy Clark Kent.

Under his hat and dark coat, Lex slithered through the crowd, just a few feet behind Clark and Chloe. The perky sales clerk behind the counter immediately spotted Chloe and began her scripted sales pitch. Chloe was listening to every word the sales woman said, and Clark leaned his elbow on the counter, looking rather bored.

Lex snickered to himself and decided to put his plan into effect from the other side of the counter. Taking out a small glass vial, Lex glanced around, making sure that no one was watching him. He purposely chose that spot because he knew he was out of the view of the store’s security cameras. He dumped some of the red powder from the vial into his hand. Looking around once more, Lex was convinced that no one was watching him. With a big breath, he blew the contents of his hand into the air, and then swiftly walked away. His next goal was to find a safe spot so he could watch what the powder did to his dear friend, Clark.

Clark did his best to play his role, and stay out of Chloe’s way. She was working her magic with the cute little brunette behind the counter. If anyone could get the story, it was Chloe. Clark knew she was going to be a great reporter someday; she just needed a big break. Chloe’s hunch was that this cosmetic farce would be it, and Clark had a feeling she was right.

As the two women gabbed about contents of the foundation and whatever the hell else, Clark thought he detected a strange odor. He brushed it off as either perfume or the smell of those cosmetics. He knew whatever the company put in there couldn’t be good, because to him, they smelled awful. Why would any woman want to put that crap on her face?

Glancing at his watch, Clark wondered how long they were going to be standing at the counter. As he sighed, he felt a strange sensation wash over him. He felt funny, and had no clue why. He shrugged it off, until he felt a burning sensation in his sinuses. That was odd, since he’d never, ever had that problem before. He was basically immune to everything on Earth, and nothing had ever bothered him like that. Shaking his head to try and clear the tingling, Clark got the feeling that he was in for something huge. He felt the need to bolt from the department store as fast as he could, but that would upset Chloe, especially as fast as he could do it.

Chloe kept grilling the sales woman, and Clark felt things go from bad to worse. The itching that originated in his sinuses had migrated into the back of his nose. Wildly, he twitched his nose to try to alleviate the tickle, but it wasn’t helping. The itch then grew to fill both of his nostrils. Was he actually going to sneeze? He’d never sneezed before, not even once. Now, it looked like that’s exactly what he was going to do. His breathing became wild, and he could tell that his body wanted that tickle out. Chloe turned to him, and looked as if she was about to pretend to ask him something, when she suddenly looked very concerned.

“Clark, honey are you all right?” she asked, her eyes filled with worry and surprise.

Clark was sure he looked as panicked as she did. Never having sneezed before, he wasn’t exactly sure what his body would do. He knew the speed at which a sneeze traveled, and the various reasons why people sneezed, but he had no idea what his sneeze would do since it had never happened before. The whole idea of it scared him to death, especially since they were in a department store full of people.

“Clark, darling, what’s wrong?” Chloe said, her voice full of urgency.

“I d-don’t know…I…” Clark trailed off because as soon as he opened his mouth, he felt the sneeze start to come forth, and the way it was coming, there was no way he could stop it. He felt his whole body start to tremble, and his eyes begin to close. He quickly inhaled and threw both of his hands over his mouth and nose right as the sneeze built to a crescendo and then came bursting out.

“HEH-SHHEEEW!”

Clark knew that the moment the sneeze escaped, all hell would break loose. He felt the force of his sneeze on his hands, and knew immediately that it traveled a helluva lot faster than a regular sneeze. Everything in the department store blew around as if a big gust of wind had suddenly blown through, which Clark pretty much figured that’s exactly what his sneeze had done. Normal people’s sneezes were forceful, but Clark’s was more like a hurricane. Chloe and the sales clerk stared at him wide-eyed, as little samples and papers flew around them. Chloe’s hair flipped around wildly. Customers had to stop and hold on to the nearest fixtures so they wouldn’t blow away.

Clark felt like a complete and total idiot, and yet he still had that damn tingle in his nose. It sure felt like he was going to sneeze again. This can’t be happening, he groaned inwardly.

Lex couldn’t believe his eyes. He rubbed them a third time to make sure he hadn’t imagined it. Clark sneezed, and the gust of wind that came from it looked like a damn tornado, the way everything was flying around.

“I’ll be damned,” Lex whispered to himself, still with one hand holding onto the rack of men’s jeans he had been standing next to. “I’ve never seen anyone sneeze like that.”

Lex wondered if it had anything to do with the powder, but decided to brace himself and wait, because from the look on Clark’s face, he wasn’t done yet.

“Oh my goodness, Clark, bless you,” Chloe said, laughing nervously. Then she turned to the sales woman, whose gaze was still fixed on Clark, looking absolutely horrified. “He has real bad allergies, and gets really embarrassed when he sneezes. Obviously, they get really loud.”

Through watering eyes, Clark saw Chloe try to play down what just happened, and he appreciated her efforts. She began to gather her things, and then grabbed his arm. Clark was thankful, but as soon as he started to follow her, his second sneeze hit even harder than the first.

“HEH-EEEESSSSHHHHHEW!”

This time, he only covered it with one hand, since Chloe had his other arm, and the devastation that followed was more dramatic the second time around. He quickly grabbed Chloe’s wrist, as his sneeze almost blew her right off of her feet. Then, while everyone around them was still trying desperately to figure out what just happened, he flew Chloe out of there, and they landed in his barn at home in Smallville a few seconds later.

Lex was glad he braced himself for that second one. Hot damn, Clark had some very powerful lungs, and it seemed that Lex’s little powder from his space rock seemed to bring that out. Lex knew he had to track down Clark, and test it again. Oh yes, he wanted to see exactly what Clark was made of, since he’d always thought the guy was full of hot air anyway!

Clark was still rubbing his nose frantically as Chloe laughed. She was laughing? He stopped rubbing his nose and stared at her incredulously.

“W-what’s so f-funny?” he asked, his voice trembling and his nose on the verge of another tremendous sneeze.

“I’m sorry, Clark,” she said, still giggling. “I shouldn’t laugh.”

“No, you shouldn’t,” he said, wrinkling his nose at her. This made her laugh even harder.

“HUH-USSHHHEEEWWWWW!”

The whole barn shook with that sneeze, even though Clark did his best to try and muffle it with his hands and even his shirt. As soon as the hay and dust settled, Chloe whispered, “Bless you.”

“Thanks,” he said gruffly and sniffed. After seeing the kind of damage his sneezes could do, Clark was pretty damn sure he didn’t want to sneeze ever again.

“Clark, you’re right, this isn’t funny, but you act like you’ve never sneezed before.”

“I haven’t, at least, not until today,” he admitted.

“Shut up! Seriously?”

“Seriously. This is bad, Chloe. Not only did I ruin your material for your article, but other people saw my, uh, unusual powers,” he said, sighing. At least the tickle had left his nose for the moment, and he was relieved about that.

“Clark, don’t worry about the article. I’ll get what I need sooner or later. Okay?”

Clark nodded wearily.

“As for all those people, I don’t think anyone else but the sales clerk knew that you were the one that caused the, um…”

“Damage? Destruction? Chaos?” Clark asked sarcastically.

“Okay, so the store got re-arranged a little, no big deal. No one got hurt from what I could tell.”

“I guess. This is so weird Chloe. I’ve never had any kind of reaction like that in my life. I wonder what set me off.”

“Yeah, me too. Maybe it was Madame Botox’s cosmetics. They put such awful stuff in there, I know it. God only knows what that stuff really does to people,” Chloe said, sitting down.

Clark paced nervously, clenching and un-clenching his hands. He hated feeling like that, all wound up and no clue as to what was happening to him. The whole thing felt funny, only he couldn’t quite figure out why. He just knew that something was wrong, and it all started when they went to Madame Botox’s cosmetic counter.

“Maybe we should look up her website on the computer, and see if anything comes up. It all started while I was standing there. Maybe we’ll find something that rings a bell,” Clark said finally. He stopped pacing and looked over to see his mom walking into the barn.

“Clark? Oh, there you are. Hi Chloe! Clark, your friend Lex is here to see you.”

Clark cringed. He wasn’t sure whether or not he would call Lex a friend. Lex was into a whole lot of shit since he took over all of his dad’s companies, and Clark really didn’t care for some of the things Lex was doing. But, Lex had never really done anything to Clark to make him think that Lex was evil, either.

“All right. You coming Chloe?”

“You know, I think I’ll take a pass, and try to look some of that stuff up on the computer. I’ll let you know if I find anything,” she said, and then hopped on her laptop.

Clark followed his mom up to the house, and sure enough, Lex was sitting in the kitchen, drinking a large glass of lemonade. He grinned at Clark as soon as he walked inside.

“Clark, how nice to see you,” Lex said, his voice oozing with contempt and sarcasm.

“What brings you here, Lex?”

Clark was glad his mom had walked away, and that his dad wasn’t around, because Lex made them all a bit nervous.

“I just had a few things I wanted to ask you, that’s all. Is that okay? Pop in to see an old friend and ask him how he’s doing?”

Clark let out a sarcastic laugh.

“Really, though, how are things at College?”

Clark was about to let Lex have it, when he started to feel strange again. Lex stood up and watched him carefully. Clark squinted his eyes, and things began to happen just like they had at the department store. Shit! He couldn’t sneeze and wreck his house, especially not in front of Lex. His mind raced as he tried to put it all together. Had Lex been at the store earlier? He must’ve been. And whatever was happening to Clark had to have been Lex’s fault. Clark’s anger started to surface, but not as fast as the growing feeling that he was going to sneeze again.

Clark dashed out of the back door, and fled out into one of the fields. He was powerless to stop himself from sneezing, so he gave up and let it take over.

He bent over, once again cupping both hands on his face, with the loudest and most powerful sneeze of all.

“HUH-EEEEESSSSSSSHHHHHHHHEEEWW!”

The mere sound of it sent all the birds squawking into the sky, and caused the dogs to start barking wildly.

Only, Clark wasn’t done. He sneezed four more times, loudly, and expelling enough wind to kick up a nice dust storm. By the time he was through, Lex was standing a few feet away. Clark straightened himself up, and stared at Lex, breathing heavily.

“That’s quite a sneeze you’ve got there,” Lex snickered, never losing his grin.

Clark ignored his comment. What the hell was he supposed to say?

“Makes me think you’ve got a lot of capacity in those lungs, am I right?” Les came a bit closer.

Clark didn’t like where this was going at all. Chloe was the only person besides his parents that knew about his powers. He couldn’t let an opportunist like Lex get a hold of information like that.

“Actually, Clark always sneezes like that.”

Clark turned to see his dad walking up. He breathed a small sigh of relief at the sight of his dad, coming to his rescue.

“Yeah, there must be something in the air, because he’s been like that all day long. Clark, you should go see your mom, and she can give you something for that. Okay?”

Clark didn’t need his dad to tell him again.

“Great idea, dad, thanks,” Clark said and then ran back towards the house. As he ran, he thought about what Lex had seen. Lex wouldn’t give up, and Clark feared that this wasn’t quite over. It was over, for the time being, and Clark was anxious to see if Chloe had found anything. So, he decided to forget Lex and concentrate on helping Chloe get her story.

“Mr. Kent, I do believe that Clark’s sneezes aren’t all that normal." Lex said, trying to even out his voice. He had witnessed an amazing amount of lung power, and didn’t want to have it all ruined by Clark’s dad showing up.

“I think you just witnessed the poor kid’s allergies, and they can get bad this time of year. I suggest you go back and do whatever it is that you do there in your mansion, Lex.”

Wow, if Lex didn’t know better, he would’ve sworn that Mr. Kent was becoming a bit threatening. Lex didn’t really want any trouble. He saw what he wanted to see. He would like to experiment further with Clark and the rock, but that would have to wait for another time.

“Yeah, I think I’ll go do that. You take care, Mr. Kent. Nice seeing you,” Lex said in his most fake pleasant voice. Then he turned and headed back towards the house and his car. Yes, he would need to think of some new and creative ways of testing out the rock with Clark. It wouldn’t be a problem.

The end, or is it?

[Dawnie]

This is a little piece I wrote by request, and really had a fun time doing it, once I knew where I wanted the story to go. This is hearby dedicated to Dawnie, for giving me the idea in the first place. Girl, go ahead and imagine Tom Welling sneezing, because here it is!

This story is based on the TV show, Smallville.

DISCLAIMER: 1. I have only just started watching this show recently, so I know I took quite a few liberties with the characters and their backstories, so if anyone is offended that it's not true to the TV show, SORRY!

2. If you don't like this TV show, then don't read this story, you probably won't like it!

3. I really did this for Dawnie, because she loves Tom Welling, so if no one else likes it, too darn bad!/quote]

Sneesee, you are just the absolute best! Thank you SO much for this. I'm printing it out right now and I'm going to save it for when I can sit back, take the time and read it thoroughly. You are the best. Thanks again.

[tma]

Mmmmmm!!! That guy is a cutie. *Not quite Dean Cain, but.... *

I've only seen little bits of the show. But I really enjoyed the story very much.

[Pseudosneeze]

I read this not as somebody who likes male sneezes, but as a fan of Smallville. Interesting writing. I would imagine Clark would be a little scared sneezing for the first time, like how Mxyzptlk made him trip in that one episode. As for the cause, I'm going with red kryptonite. That stuff has random effects on him and a sneezing fit seems like a possible side effect.

Also, could somebody write a Chloe sneeze fic in the future?

[snuffles]

Wow that was great! I'm a big Smallville fan, I have all the DVDs, and have never thought of Red Kryptonite powder!

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

Yum. Just...yum. Not just the sneezes, but the idea of someone who's never sneezed knowing he's going to, and the writing of the build-up, and his wanting to get out of there, and just...yum.

Abyssinia,

Barrie

[Vendetta]

i love your fic; it was so adorable! i especially enjoyed this since i think Clark is one of the hottest guys in smallville. please write more like this!

[Guest starry night]

This was such a great story! Imagine Tom Welling sneezing...such a cutie.

[justmehere]

This was such a great story! Imagine Tom Welling sneezing...such a cutie.

Oh, yes. Need I say more?

The end, or is it?

I hope not.

[SnowSprite]

Mmmm, loving it so far! SO cute!

Keep a'goin, pwease?

[Guest LoraLee]

this was awesome

[Rika]

So I LOVE Tom Welling (that man is the epitome of gorgeous ) but I've only recently started watching Smallville. I love it tho and I really loved this story!

I thought this might interest some other tom welling fan out there: One late night, bored as hell, I searched "Tom Welling, Sneeze" on youtube and found an episode in the sixth season where Clark comes down with a cold! And yep, he finds out that his sneezes are superpowerful....actually he blows his barn door halfway across town

Anyway, just thought I'd mention it, in case anyone hasn't seen it. It really is adorable. And the full episode is on youtube, in five parts!