random story, male and female - (2 Parts)

[(hippo)]

really short story because i was bored.

i geuss its a bit like a fictional obs. sort of

i only go on if you guys like it

***********************************************************

Brendan scowled at the ground. He had been having a crap day, and his school report was waiting for him at home, along with a pair of angry parents. He shuffled along, bag slung over his shoulder, considering what to do.

It wasn't long before he reached the tram stop and he slumped down on the bench.

He produced a packet of cigarettes from his bag. To his right, sitting primly on the very edge of the bench was a girl from his school, about 16 or 17, same age as him.

Her straight hair hung in a loose ponytail tied with a checkered ribbon, and her face was scattered with freckles. She glanced at him then looked away.

Her turned to her. “Got a light?”

She looked at him blankly for a second, then hurriedly buried her face into cupped hands with a faint “chishhoo!!” She sniffed and rubbed her nose, then returned to him, looking puzzled. “No, um…sorry.” she blushed and looked down, fumbling in her bag for a tissue.

Brendan sighed and stuck the cigarette behind his ear.

The 109 tram, sleek and new, pulled up with a groan at the stop. Brendan pushed his way to the front and clambered aboard. He looked around for a window seat.

He found one and sat down heavily as the tram swayed to a start. A young business man staggered down the aisle as the tram stopped and started in the thick traffic. He saw the vacant seat next to Brendan and collapsed in it. Brendan looked up at him.

He was Italian, with light olive skin and thick eyebrows.

“Hey, mate,” Brendan said, “Got a light?” the Italian man turned around slowly to look at him. “Sorry, what did you—excuse me,” he waved his hand and shook his head before producing a white handkercheif from his pocket and exploding into it, a loud, body bending “HEAAASSHHHEEHH!!!” that made several people jump. He apologised and tucket the handkercheif back into his coat. He looked at Brendan and said, “please excuse me. Im sorry, what did you say?”

“I said,” Brendan scowled, “Have you got a light?” the man shook his head. “no, sorry I—HEEEEAAAACHHOOOO!!!!” his sentence was interrupted as he sneezed heavily into his shoulder, smothering the noise as best he could in the folds of his suit. He looked miserable and said to Brendan, “im sorry. I don't know whats making me sneeze. Usually I don't get hayfever at his time of year.” he got up hastily and pushed to button for the next stop. The tram slowed, and the doors opened.

Brendan looked up. The Italian man was gone.

Brendan was completely puzzled. He stared out the window and thought hard. Suddenly he looked up and focused his gaze on a large lady near the door, holding a pram. “Got a light?” he whispered. The lady’s blank expression changed, and she held a finger under her nose and shut her eyes. She doubled over suddenly with a loud, high pitched, “he-mpchh-OO!!” and straightened up, looking confused.

At the other end of the tram sat two uni students, chattering away to each other. Brendan stared at one, a short, plain looking girl with a low cut black top on.

“Got a light?” he whispered. The girl stopped talking and turned away. She sneezed delicately, a soft “heishho!” and rubbed her nose. Brendan stayed focused on the girl.

“Got a light?”

“he-eshhoo!”

“Got a light?”

“schoo!”

“Got a light?”

“heschoo!”

Brendan grinned, then took a deep breath and muttered, “Got a light? Got a light? Got a light? Got a light? Got a light?”

The girl looked desperate and pinched her nose. Her body rocked forward once, twice, three times, four times. She waved her hands infront of her face and her hair flew over her head as she threw herself forward with a last, forceful “HA-CHEESHHEWW!!”

Her friend laughed in astonishment and said, “gee! Bless you bless you bless you bless you bless you! Are you okay?” the girl rubbed her nose and gasped, looking dazed. “Yeah,” she said, “I think something must have irritated my nose.”

Brendan was pleased with his new found power. He hopped off the tram in high spirits and reached home early. His parents were waiting at the dining table, looking solemn. He was ready for them.

The talk had lasted a good two hours. Brendan didn't care. He lay on his back in bed, looking at his ceiling. He couldn't wait for tommorow.

[Candy]

ooh, very nice! This is quite intriguing, I hope you plan to write more... I can't wait to see what he does with his powers tomorrow.

Hey, do you s'pose he could do it to himself? With a mirror, or just by concentrating on himself when he says it? That'd be cool. It'd be an awesome way to get out of stuff you didn't want to do, just make yourself sneeze and say you're sick...

[Blah!?]

If only that worked in StarCraft...

Firebat: Got a light?

Medic: *sneeze*

That was a great little fic. Now, virutally every person on this forum has demonstrated more bravery than me by actually posting their stories. Mine suck, so don't expect to see any.

[And Beat Him When He Sneezes]

Wow, that was a good story. I love when sneezes are related to cigarettes. And how I love the idea of being able to make people sneeze like that!

The story needs a continuation. More sneezes, of course, plus an explanation of why "Got a light?" of all things causes sneezing.

[count tiszula]

I LIKE it. We need more magic sneezes, and as usual your spelling of the variety of sneezes is fabulous.

I agree that it must continue!

[(hippo)]

aww shucks thanks guys

i think i will continue, its so much fun to write! i just make it up as i go along

[sneeze_e]

ow why can that work in real life for me!

i would do it to all the fit men that pass my way.

hehe

keep up the good work

look forward to reading more.

[And Beat Him When He Sneezes]

Come on, Hippo, let's get a sequel going!

And I noticed poor Brendan never did get his light, though, did he? At this rate he'd better keep a working lighter on him at all times. Well, well, well, well worth it.

[(hippo)]

I really should give this a proper title

anyway, i remembered this story i wrote when i was super bored in the holidays, and i thought it would be fun if i went on.

It's bloody fun writing it.

***********************

Brendan couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned, thinking hard about his new found power.

At it was morning. The clock lingered at 7:59, counting down the last few seconds before the alarm would go. Brendan jumped out of bed and switched it off before it got the chance.

Dressing quickly, he skidded down the stairs, grabbing a fistful of money from his top drawer and stuffing it into his pocket. His mum was in the kitchen, looking tired and grumpy, but she greeted him warmly and offered him breakfast.

“No thanks mum, gotta run, late for school. Bye.”

“But its only 8 o’clock! You’ve got an hour to—never mind. See you after school honey.” She called. Brendan didn’t hear. He was already halfway down the street.

***

He got to the tram and hopped on. Peering out the window he scanned the streets for a coffee shop. A Starbucks would do.

There were plenty of people walking to work outside, ignoring everybody else around them, hugging their coats tightly around their bodies. He watched a man in a trench coat and hat running for the bus that was pulling away from the street.

“Got a light? Got a light? Got a light?” he whispered, smiling to himself. The man paused and powerfully sneezed three times silently through the glass into his wrist. When he had recovered the bus had gone.

Brendan sat back and laughed. This was FUN. He sat at the window, reading the billboards as the tram swayed down the road, and stopped at a red light. A large, busty woman lay in frilled lingerie on a black satin couch, holding a cigarette between her teeth. The writing above her said “Buffalo Cigarettes.”

Brendan gazed up at the sign. Then, like a light going off in his brain, an idea came to him. It was mad. Simply mad.

No, he thought, it wouldn’t work. It’s impossible. Then again, making people sneeze by saying three words wasn’t exactly very likely either. He looked up at the billboard and took a breath.

“Got a light?”

The lady in the picture suddenly lost her distant, seductive look and sat up on the couch, looking confused. She froze for a moment, her hand poised softly underneath her nose, before leaning forward off the couch with a surprised, high pitched, “Aaah-teesheeew!!!” making the cigarette fall from mouth.

Brendan sat, stunned.

He looked up at the billboard once more, still getting his breath back. The model had retained her position on the couch, relaxed and content once again. Brendan shook his head and squinted at the picture. Nothing had changed. The cigarette was back in her mouth, blonde hair cascading down her shoulders as perfectly as before.

He must be going mad.

A little shaken, he tried once more to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

“Got a light? Got a light? Got a light?”

The model didn't have time to sit up this time. The cigarette fell from her mouth and she waved both her hands under her nose, much like they do in the Miss Universe pageants when they’re trying not to cry, and sneezed openly towards Brendan, three desperate, loud, “Heh-TEESHEEWW!! Heeh….ah-mpph-CHEEEEWW!!! HE-ASHHEEEWWWW!!”.

She rubbed her nose vigorously, pinched it a couple of times, then looked around, startled. She put her hands to her hair and patted it back into place then took her position on the couch and picked up the cigarette, inserted it in between her teeth and put on the dreamy look as before.

Brendan let out a nervous laugh, which slowly turned into a maniacal laughing. Tears rolled down his eyes and he staggered to compose himself. People were staring at him, bewildered, and edging towards the door. He beat them, and stumbled off, heading towards the newsagents. He dug in his pocket for money and bought a copy of The Women’s Weekly.

He sat down on a bench and thumbed through the pages. He stopped at a paparazzi article on some chick with huge sunglasses. Who was it again? Ummm, some chick who married Brad Pitt. Jennifer Aniston! That's right! He remembered her from Friends. In the picture she was walking briskly through a street in California, a large black coat hiding her from view.

Brendan wondered how they knew it was her. He shrugged and decided to give it a shot. Couldn't hurt. He stared down at the picture.

“Got a light?”

Jennifer Aniston stopped walking, and slowed to an uneasy stagger on her high heels. She leaned back, both hands coming up to her face, then bent forward with a soft sneeze. Brendan put his ear close to the page and heard a faint “He-esshhooo!!!”

He grinned. Flipping through a few more pages he found an article on a new movie. It was the new Pirates of the Caribbean. The pictures were of various actors on set, having their faces sprayed with bottled tan and reclining in deckchairs after a hard days acting.

Brendan found one with Johnny Depp chatting to the director about something to do with the screenplay, or so the caption said, and sipping a huge cup of coke.

“Got a light?”

The director stopped talking and sneezed harshly into a fist. He wiped his nose and continued talking. Woops. Wrong person. Brendan focused harder on Johnny and tried again.

“Got a light?”

Johnny continued talking. “Yeah no, I don’t think we should…heh….wait on.” he paused and held up a finger. The director stopped instantly. Johnny held a fist up to his nose and waited. There was a long silence. He grinned. “Never mind. As I said, don't you think there’s a little too much swashbuckling? I mean…heh…eehhh……” Once again he stopped talking and inhaled sharply. Again the sneeze did not come and he decided to keep talking. “Please excuse me. I do think there is too much, I don't want to—heeh….” The director laughed. “You can make half the world love you but you cant get out a measly sneeze?” Johnny shook his head.

“Wait,” he said, “I’ve got it this time. Heeehh…..heh….he-ashhhooh!!”

Brendan shut the magazine. He got up and wandered along the street, leaving the magazine on the bench.

He had had enough for the day.

[count tiszula]

This is getting better and better; apart from the wonderfulness of magic sneezes, it's a fab way of incorporating a whole series of fantasies; there seems no reason why it should not go on for ever.

Again the spelt out sneezes are lovely, especially as they describe each different character. Dare we hope for ever wilder fantasy?

[Blah!?]

I like this one! I'm surprised that I didn't see it until now. Keep up the good work!

[sneezinglover]

Good story! Keep it up! JENNIFEr ANISTON!