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Sneeze-Smallville Episode Rewrite Ficlet-M


Sneesee

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Title: Sneeze, Smallvile-Season 6- Episode 2, the way this scene should have been written! :laugh:

Author: Sneesee

Fandom: Smallville

Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville, nor make any money off of it. Yes, I used a lot of the actual dialog from the beginning of this scene, and then went on to use my own where the scene became much more fun.

Rating: PG

Summary: This is the scene where Chloe and Clark go into Pontius' office to find information about Lex. clark sees the hidden door behind the wall, but his strength is gone and he's not sure how to get through. In the actual show, this is where Chloe convinces Clark to breathe, because if his sneeze is so powerful, maybe his lung capacity is great, too. However, being that we are all sneeze fetishists, I re-wrote it so that she convinces him he needs to sneeze.

Author's Notes: Yeah, this was really fun to write, and now I'm debating re-writing the whole episode into a complete fic. :D Hope you all enjoy this little bit, though!

Inside the posh, ultra-modern office, Clark started scanning the room while Chloe tried to hack into Pontius’ notebook computer. Clark squinted his eyes when he spotted something behind the furthest wall that appeared to be a hidden room with a ton of electronic equipment.

“Chloe, there’s a hidden door in the wall,” he said, a little breathless form their run.

“Even with a stuffy nose, you still got it,” she said, coming up behind him.

Clark moved over to the thick, metal wall and grabbed onto one of the panels. Then he pulled with all of his might, and the wall buckled halfway before his strength gave out. He stepped back by Chloe, huffing and out of breath.

“What’s wrong?”

“Guess I’m not a hundred percent,” he said, shrugging.

“Yeah, I can see that. Looks like your batteries are running seriously low.”

Chloe thought for a moment, tapping her index finger against her lips. Then her eyes grew wide with some sort of idea.

“Clark, what about a sneeze?”

“What about it?”

“If your sneeze can blow a barn door seven miles across Smallville, I bet you anything you could take that one out with no problem,” she told him excitedly.

Clark snorted and said, “Chloe, I can’t force it.”

“Why not? You can do anything.”

Except sneeze on command,” he said, still chuckling. “It’s a reflex, not a circus trick.”

“Wait a minute, what if we found something that could make you sneeze?”

“Other than this cold, nothing’s ever made me sneeze,” he said skeptically, because he didn’t really like where she was going with her idea.

At first, Chloe dug around in her tiny purse, obviously looking for something. Clark watched her with mild interest, wondering what she could possibly find besides pepper that could make him sneeze. When she came up empty, she looked around the office, until her eyes spotted something of interest on the coffee table.

“I got it!”

“What?” Clark asked warily, not liking the half-crazed look in her eyes.

“I’ve got a surefire way to make you sneeze,” she said, snatching a big, fluffy feather duster that had been tossed half-hazardly on the table. She ran back to Clark, smiling.

“Oh no! Now. Wait a min-"

“It’s perfect, Clark,” she said, plucking one long feather out of the duster.

“I don’t think this is such a good idea,” he said, slowly backing away from her. “Besides, my nose isn’t even the least bit ticklish right now.”

“We need to get into that secret room. Lex’s life may depend on it. Now, come on, Clark, please sneeze for me.”

Since she put it that way, there was nothing Clark could do. He wasn’t going to win that argument, and he knew it. He sighed in resignation.

“Okay, just close your eyes and concentrate on taking deep breaths. I’ll do the rest,” she ordered.

Clark did what she said, closing his eyes and standing very still. He tensed up in the beginning as he waited for her to start assaulting his nose with the feather, anticipating how it was about to feel. A small shiver ran down his back with the first light touch of the feather along the inner rim of his left nostril. The tickle grew very intense almost immediately, and that shocked him. Perhaps it was because his cold had made his nose ultra-sensitive.

For someone who had never sneezed until that day, Clark had grown to sort of enjoy the anticipation right before the sneeze, and then the sense of relief afterwards. It was all very new and exciting to him, and he certainly felt a whopper of one brewing while Chloe continued tickling his nose.

“Come on, Clark, I see your eyes watering,” Chloe coaxed.

Clark’s breaths came in short, desperate gasps, as he felt the tickle travel through both nostrils and deep into his nasal passages. A quick peek out of the corner of his eye told him that Chloe was out of range, and that his sneeze should be directed straight at the wall. With that sudden moment of the last incoming breath, he realized that everything was in order, and the overwhelming urge to let his sneeze out should do the trick.

His head tilted back while he took in a huge breath, and then his whole torso plunged forward with a loud, uncovered, completely Earth-shattering, “HUH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The floor shook beneath their feet, and the wall crumpled the rest of the way, while papers and dust circled around them.

“Wow, nice job. Bless you!” Chloe said, straightening herself up.

Clark sniffled, as the sneeze left his nose extremely runny. Then he smiled sheepishly, “Uh, thanks.”

“Now, let’s go check this out,” Chloe said, stepping over the debris to get inside the secret room. Clark followed her, snickering to himself at how his sneeze had really come in handy, and how good he felt about that.

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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is Totally the way that the scene Should have gone. :D:laugh::omg: Thank you so much for writing it. I Loved that! *does little happy dance of joy*

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EEEEEEE! Thank you so much, Sneesee! *is happy that someone that someone managed to fix the stupidness of that otherwise-wonderful episode*

Abyssinia,

Barrie

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