Luck Be a Lady (f)

[Blah!?]

Hallo everybody! Here's another new fic to read! Be prepared, this is a very long one. There's plenty of sneezing, but there's a lot of random crap and fluff between them. Also, if anyone wants/need me to explain how card counting works or other things such as that, just tell me. I'll post it later in the topic if need be. And yes, I know that in a modern Vegas casino, card counting is impossible for several reasons, but just bear with me!

On a side note, I've sort of let my sci-fi series slide for now. I'm sure I'll get back to it eventually, but for now, I'm just not feeling all too inspired.

---

“Hit me,” said a young man named Kevin Taylor. He stared blankly down at the two cards in front of him, a ten of hearts and a four of clubs. The dealer drew another card from the deck beside him, flipped it face-up, and placed it next to Kevin’s fourteen. It was a king of spades, which made twenty-four; a bust. The young man sighed and dropped his head into his hand. He always lost hands like that. If he chose to stand, the dealer would have something higher, and if he chose to hit, he would bust. Kevin knew that Blackjack was almost entirely luck, and that this sort of thing happened to everyone, but he couldn’t help but feel that someone was out to get him every time he lost. As the dealer took Kevin’s bet from the last hand, the young man picked up the rest of his chips and left the table.

A weekend in Las Vegas. “Just what he needed,” Kevin’s boss had assured him. But now, the business meetings were over, Kevin was checked out of his room, and his flight home had been canceled due to weather at his destination. And, of course, the very hotel at which he had previously been staying was suddenly overbooked. Why not gamble? He had plenty of money, he could meet a nice girl, and he had even had his car shipped out to meet him. Kevin Taylor had everything but luck.

“Make up your mind,” Kevin muttered to himself. Did he want to play one more round, or did he want to hit the road and look for a Motel 6 to spend the night? Since the last meeting ended, Kevin had done nothing but lose, so he was down quite a lot from his original funds, so part of him wanted to stick around and try to win it back, and another wanted to leave so that he wouldn’t lose any more. Just as he was nearing the edge of the high-stakes tables, Kevin spotted the ideal scene for his comeback. It was so obvious that it was almost ominous. Straight ahead of him was a table with only one occupant, save for the dealer.

“I’m staying.”

Kevin sat down next to a young blonde woman, one who appeared to be several hands in. She shot Kevin a quick glance as he unbuttoned his jacket and laid out his chips, but looked away even quicker. Just after she looked away, Kevin gave the woman a short once-over to see if he would actually be interested. High-heeled shoes, white gloves, an elegant, black dress, hair down to her shoulders, blue eyes, and freckles scattered all across her face. A girl who combined elements of cuteness and elegance. This might just work out.

After surveying his neighbor, Kevin placed his bet and waited for the young lady to do the same. Kevin counted her chips as she set them out; the table minimum. Did she have a trick up her sleeve? The young man put these thoughts out of his mind and gazed down at his hand. Sixteen. Kevin wasn’t sure whether to hit or to stand, and he could never make up his mind with sixteen. He once again glanced at the young woman next to him. She had been dealt a four of clubs and a six of diamonds. She hit twice, being given a four and a five, totaling nineteen, and with that, she decided to stand. The dealer flipped over his one face-down card, revealing a total of eighteen, beating Kevin but losing to the young woman.

As the dealer collected the cards from the previous hand, the blonde woman’s curved nostrils flared, making her freckled nose appear quite wide. Kevin took notice of this and slowly turned his eyes toward her as she held her middle and index fingers out just below her nose. Seconds later, the woman’s head shot downward with a soft and ladylike “Hitschh!” As she sneezed, her nose met her fingers and squished up slightly, forming a noticeable crease just above the tip. Once the small nasal explosion was over, the woman straightened up and returned to her former position. Kevin continued to look on silently as the woman sniffed, was blessed by the dealer, and flicked the tip of her nose up three times with her gloved index finger.

For the next hand, Kevin once again bet a small amount above the table minimum, but this time around, the young woman next to him put down an incredible sum of money. Now Kevin was truly interested. For her to suddenly shift from the minimum bet to an almost high roller amount was quite intriguing. The hand that Kevin was dealt was nearly as impressive within itself. A total of twenty with just two cards, and a nineteen again to the lady. The dealer lost to both players by a slim margin with an eighteen. As he collected the cards, the young woman repeated the same routine as she had before. A delicate “Hischh!” onto her fingers, a quick sniff, and three nose-flicks. The next hand, she bet big once again, and Kevin decided to follow suit, but not quite to the same extent.

The next several hands continued in exactly the same way. Kevin’s new person of interest would go through her sneeze-routine, bet an incredible amount of money, and then miraculously win by being dealt an incredible hand right off the bat. Each time, Kevin took a bigger step forward, betting more and more on every hand. This process continued prosperously for quite some time, but all good things must come to an end. Almost an hour later, as another winning hand came to a close, the woman didn’t sneeze. Kevin took this for granted at first, but once again, his attention was locked to the lady when she returned to betting the table minimum. Kevin dropped his own bet back slightly, but not as far as he should have. In the next hand, both players were beaten by the dealer.

“She must have known,” Kevin thought to himself. “But how?” Kevin rested his head in his chin, pondering his situation. “I can’t say for sure, but I’m willing to bet it has something to do with that sneezing of hers. No pun intended.” Time to break the ice. Kevin simply needed to know how this ‘new friend’ of his always knew when to step out and when to pull back. It would just be too awkward to ask about it out of the blue, though. Kevin kept an eye on the young woman, and he noticed as the dealer collected the cards and lost bets that she flicked the tip of her nose up once, then again, and once more. She continued to flick her nose nearly twenty times until she ran two gloved fingers across the flat underside of her nose and sniffed deeply. If this woman’s tricks really did have to do with sneezing, now was the time to find out.

“Itchy nose?” Kevin asked, leaning back lazily in his chair. The woman shot him a quick glance, and for the first time that night, turned to face him after drawing an elegant handkerchief from her purse.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” the woman inquired, sounding slightly congested. She sniffed again and brought the handkerchief up to her nostrils, holding it in place gently. Kevin grinned; she was practically begging to be pried for information.

“Well, I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been a bit sneezy lately.”

“Thank you for your concern, but I think it’s just some dust. You know, from the carpets maybe?”

“Or smoke, or mold, or maybe even something else?” The woman nodded once, not appearing to be amused, but not necessarily annoyed either.

“By the way, I’m Kevin. Kevin Taylor, stock broker and professional bad gambler.” The blonde woman sighed and giggled softly, still holding her handkerchief under her nostrils.

“Sydney. Just Sydney. Professional good gambler.” Both players smiled, clearly becoming more comfortable with each other.

“Say, Miss Sydney, how about I buy you a drink? A good kick ought to clear you right up.” Kevin knew she was still up to something, and she wasn’t the only one with tricks up her sleeve. Sydney smiled and placed her handkerchief back in her purse.

“Well why not? It certainly appears that you can afford such things.” Kevin grinned and called over a waiter. He ordered himself a strawberry daiquiri and turned back to Sydney.

“You know, you look like a pina colada type of girl. Exotic, yet elegant at the same time,” Kevin said, wondering what sort of drink Sydney would like. She smiled and nodded.

“Yes, well, I’m unoriginal. That just happens to be my favorite drink!” Sydney exclaimed, appearing to be somewhat embarrassed. Kevin grinned and turned back to the waiter.

“The daiquiri and a pina colada for the young lady.” The waiter took down Kevin’s order. The young man held out his credit card, along with a small post-it note with “virgin daiquiri” written on it in black pen. Kevin had no intention of getting even the slightest buzz that night.

It took a few hands for the waiter to return with the drinks. As the third hand since ordering came to a close, the drinks arrived at the blackjack table. The waiter picked up the pina colada and moved to give it to Sydney, but she gave him a signal to wait with her right hand as she held out her fingers on her left. She was about to sneeze again.

“HITSCHHH!” Sydney sneezed, her nose squishing up forcefully on her fingers. “Oh wow,” she coughed, “that was a big one.” Sydney sniffed, accepted her drink, and flicked the tip of her nose up three times with one finger. Kevin raised an eyebrow slightly. “She always does it the same way,” he thought to himself. The young man received his drink from the waiter and immediately took a sip of it. Kevin smiled; the waiter had gotten the tip. Not one bit of alcohol in the drink’s still loveable flavor.

The night dragged on, playing out just as it had before. However, now that Sydney had taken in more than a few pina coladas, she was considerably more relaxed and open to Kevin’s questioning. With each passing hand, the young man had less and less to be confused about. Each time Sydney sneezed, both players would place a large bet, and then inexplicably beat the house. If Sydney didn’t sneeze, she and Kevin would bet the table minimum with a slim chance of coming out on top. By this point, Kevin was sure that Sydney knew when to bet based on whether or not she sneezed, but he was still skeptical as to how it worked. Now, the time for direct confrontation was at hand, but not before the next hand of cards…

“HAA-SCHOO!” Sydney sneezed openly over the table, waving her gloved hands at her freckled face. Her sneezes had become more powerful and less ladylike with each pina colada, and she had abandoned all facets of nasal decency. Instead of sneezing softly onto her outstretched fingers, she would sneeze into the open, possibly spraying the dealer on several occasions, and instead of gently flicking the tip of her nose up with one finger, she would rub her nose upward with the palm of her hand, and finally wipe it on her dress. To Kevin, nothing had changed. Sydney’s sneeze meant that it was time to bet big, and he placed his chips accordingly.

The dealer laid out Sydney’s cards, a ten of diamonds and a queen of clubs, totaling twenty. Kevin was dealt a king of hearts, and an ace of spades! Blackjack! Sydney broke into hysterics and began to applaud loudly. Kevin chuckled to himself and finished the last of his virgin daiquiri. He looked over at Sydney and saw that she had started vigorously rubbing her nose with her middle and index fingers.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” Kevin asked, wanting to finally figure out what was going on with Sydney’s incredible ‘luck.’

“My sneeze is still messed up. It’s making me nose.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet it is.”

“Would you like to know why? I’ll give you a hint: it has nothing to do with the tooth fairy getting even with me because I left money under my pillow trying to get teeth.”

Kevin laughed out loud. What Sydney was saying was completely insane, even though she was drunk. He collected his chips, stood up, and helped Sydney stumble out of her chair. The young man put his arm around the woman’s shoulder and began to walk her toward the casino’s exit.

“If we’re going to talk, we should go some place private,” Kevin said, curling some of Sydney’s straight blonde hair around his fingers.

“We could go to my suite. It has lots of pillows.”

“Aw, come on, Syd! This is a casino! Don’t you think they’ve got cameras and stuff in there? I mean somewhere really private where no one else can go but us.” Sydney giggled and nodded vigorously.

“Well, okay, fine!”

Kevin led his new friend to the elevator adjacent to the casino’s exit. Luckily for them both, it was empty. Sydney slumped into the back corner and giggled for some nameless reason. Kevin pressed the button for the sixth floor and leaned against the wall next to Sydney. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her forehead on his shoulder. Kevin smiled to himself. This was turning out to be one wild night.

The elevator ride was over almost as quickly as it had started. The pair stepped out into a small hallway and proceeded into the parking garage. The facility was almost completely full, yet an entire isle of the second highest level of the garage was empty save for one car. Parked against the far wall was a shiny, dark gray Aston Martin DB9. Kevin removed his keys from his pocket and unlocked the car, continuing toward it with Sydney hanging from his shoulder. The young man quickly helped her stand on her own and he approached the car, opening the passenger side door.

“Milady, your chariot awaits.” Sydney giggled once again and sat down in the car.

“Hey! The steering wheel’s on the wrong side!” Sydney blurted as Kevin lowered himself into the driver’s seat.

“I had this baby imported directly from England. That means right-hand drive. Anyway, we need to talk, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Sydney coughed and rubbed her nose. “You know what count carding is?”

“I- I think so?”

“Anyways, I’ve got myself a photographic memory. If I just take a teensy little peek at all the little cards, I can remember what they all were. Now, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I figured out that my lil’ noggin counts cards without me knowing. Ask me, I don’t have no idea how it doesn’t work. After that, I went to see some crazy wizard guy, and he hypnotized me.”

“Hypnotized?” Kevin asked. Things were starting to make sense. Well, as much as they could considering the fact that it was subliminal card counting being explained by a drunk woman he’d met just a few hours earlier.

“Yep,” Sydney continued, mimicking a metronome with her fingers. “So, now, whenever the count thingy gets up to, oh, I don’t know, fourteen, I AHH, AHHHHH, AHHHHHHHH, AHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Kevin jumped as Sydney screamed an enormous fake sneeze in his face. Both of them laughed as the young woman settled down in her seat again.

“And then, and then, and then, if it goes waaaay down below like, er, seven or something, my nose gets really, really, really, really itchy, and really, really, really, really stuffy,” Sydney explained, vigorously rubbing her nose against Kevin’s shoulder.

“You know, that’s a pretty good idea,” Kevin said, putting his arm around Sydney’s shoulder once again. “You’d make a killing like that!”

“Well, who says I didn’t?”

“You never said you did.”

-

Rolling onto his right side, Kevin woke up, thankfully not wearing undergarments on his head. After a few minutes of conversing in his car, Kevin and Sydney had returned to the casino and taken a lengthy elevator ride to one of the highest floors, where Sydney’s suite was located. Shortly after arriving, both of them collapsed on the bed. They kissed each other briefly, and Sydney almost instantly fell fast asleep, snoring very loudly. As Kevin opened his eyes, he saw that Sydney was no longer lying on her side of the bed. The young man sat up slowly and swung his legs over the side of the bed, now facing the bathroom door.

The door opened quietly, revealing a distraught-looking Sydney. She appeared to have just finished taking a shower, as her straight blonde hair was damp and she had wrapped a towel around her body. As Kevin looked up and met her eyes, Sydney sniffled. She hadn’t just taken a shower; she had been crying. Kevin stood up and walked toward her slowly.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. He had some idea of what the problem could have been, but truthfully, he wasn’t exactly sure.

“I woke up with a hangover this morning. What happened last night?” the young woman asked, a look of fear in her eyes.

“You- You told me a secret. The one about, well, you know,” Kevin paused briefly. He then reached out and flicked the tip of Sydney’s nose up with his finger. The gap between her curved nostrils felt wet. Kevin looked around the bathroom and spotted Sydney’s handkerchief on the counter to his right. He picked it up and handed it to the young woman. She accepted it silently and gently wiped her nose.

“I was drunk, wasn’t I?”

“Yes, yes you were.” Sydney’s face scrunched up and she pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand. A few tears welled in the corners of her eyes. Kevin was sure that Sydney was trying to blame herself for some reason, but he couldn’t let her do that. She hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Sydney, last night, that was entirely my fault. When we were playing blackjack together, I saw that you could tell when the odds were in your favor. I couldn’t help myself, I just had to find out why. When I ordered those drinks, I slipped a note to the waiter telling him to get mine without alcohol. Basically, I got you drunk so I could find out how you were winning so much.”

Sydney spluttered. Kevin’s explanation didn’t make her feel any better. The young woman moved her hands away from her face and shook her head.

“Kevin, at first, you seemed like a good guy. I might have just told you if you had waited a little longer.”

“I’m so sorry. I was being impatient, and I should have had more self-control. I don’t know how I can make this up to you…”

“Please, just leave.”

Without another word, Kevin straightened his necktie, nodded, and stepped out into the hallway.

-

“Heh! HESCHH!” Sydney sneezed onto her gloved fingers and sniffed. As she slid her chips forward, part of her mind wondered how much Kevin would have bet if he had been there. The young woman had come a long way from the weeping mess she had been that morning, but she couldn’t keep her mind off of the only person who knew her secret of luck. Half of her was angry at him, and half of her was thinking that he was a nice guy who just made a few bad decisions. After a brief period of thought, Sydney returned her mind to the blackjack table.

Sydney was dealt a winning hand once again, as were several of the other players at the table. She ran her eyes around the edge of the table, taking quick glances at all of the other players’ cards. Suddenly, a sharp tickle shot up her right nostril; the count was still high. Sydney ran a single finger across her nostrils, the rest of her freckled nose bending slightly to follow it. Her eyes slowly closed as her head tilted backward slightly. Much to her surprise, Sydney felt a hand firmly grip her shoulder from behind.

“Don’t sneeze,” commanded a deep, rough voice. Sydney couldn’t help it; her nose was tickling so intensely that all she could do was wait. Her nostrils twitched and flared widely, and she held her fingers out just below them as if to catch the air about to be blasted out. The young woman wrinkled her freckled nose up as tightly as she could, but it was no use, Sydney just had to sneeze.

“HAA! Ah… AH-SCHOO!” As soon as she finished, Sydney turned around. To her horror, an enormous and incredibly muscular man was standing directly behind her. A bouncer, quite obviously. As Sydney raised her hand to her face, about to flick the tip of her nose up to relieve the slight tingling sensation that remained, the bouncer grabbed her wrist firmly. The man adjusted his sunglasses and sighed heavily.

“I told you not to do that. And trust me; you really don’t want to disobey me. Ever.”

-

Sydney didn’t bother to struggle, there was no way she could escape from a man of this stature. The bouncer dragged her from the elevator into an undecorated hallway that led to the parking garage. Opening the glass door into the garage, the bouncer shoved Sydney through and quickly followed. The burly man glanced around the parking garage to make sure that no one else was present, and then returned his gaze to his captive.

“You obviously know why you’re here, and so do we. I don’t know how you did it, but they don’t pay me to care about that. Are we clear?” the bouncer asked, holding Sydney’s hand at about the same level as her head. The young woman nodded, trying to keep her expression as free of fear as possible.

“Well, now that that’s settled, don’t think I won’t hurt you because you’re a woman.”

Before the bouncer could make a move, someone tapped him on the shoulder from behind. The man turned his head to look, but Sydney couldn’t see who was behind him around his massively broad shoulders. However, she would have recognized that voice anywhere.

“Evening ladies, shall we up the blinds?”

Sydney heard a loud thud and her captor fell to the ground. Once the bouncer’s enormous body was out of the way, she saw Kevin standing in front of her, wearing a set of brass knuckles on his right hand. Sydney blinked, unsure of how to react. She didn’t need to think for very long before Kevin grabbed her arm and quickly led her to the far wall of the parking garage. The two ducked down behind a large pickup truck as Kevin saw another bouncer enter the garage out of the corner of his eye.

“Kevin!” Sydney breathed, shaking her arm free of his hand. Kevin made a “be quiet” sign with his finger over his mouth, moving himself into a slightly more comfortable position. He cautiously glanced around the left side of the truck and darted back quickly. The young man’s heart skipped a beat. The driver had just gotten into the vehicle and was likely about to pull away. Before he could think, Sydney tugged at the side of his jacket.

“Kevin, I- I have to sneeze!” Sydney whispered, closing her eyes and wrinkling her nose up and down. Kevin’s eyes bulged.

“What? How could you possibly be counting cards now!?” Sydney scowled and slapped Kevin forcefully across the face.

“Not that, you idiot! I mean I’m actually going to sneeze!” Kevin swallowed hard, completely at a loss for what to do. If Sydney sneezed, the bouncer would surely hear it and have his way with them both, but if they stayed and held in her sneeze, the truck would move and they would be found anyway. Kevin felt the heat of the truck’s exhaust wash over his face just as Sydney’s nostrils flared in a pre-sneeze spasm, so he knew that there was little time left in either category. Making a last-minute decision, Kevin crept around behind Sydney’s back, reached his arm around her head, and slid his finger under her freckled nose, pushing upward firmly.

“Is that better?” Kevin asked, whispering directly in Sydney’s ear.

“Yeah, for now,” the young woman replied, her voice sounding strained.

“Alright, but we’ve got to move. It’s going to be a bit weird, but just, um, waddle.” Kevin and Sydney began to move forward awkwardly. As soon as they were behind the next car, Sydney couldn’t help but let out a small snort. She took a deep breath, about to sneeze once again, but Kevin shook her gently and pushed up under her nose even more firmly.

“It’s okay, you’re doing great,” he whispered, trying to sound reassuring.

“Thank-”

“Don’t try to talk, just think ‘don’t sneeze!’”

Sydney began to mouth “don’t sneeze” silently to herself. After a moment, she snorted again, slightly louder than before, and she started to whisper, clearly losing her concentration.

“Don’t sneeze, don’t sneeze, don’t sneeze, d-don’t sneeze, don’t snee… sneh…”

Knowing that there was nothing else he could do, Kevin pinched Sydney’s nose tightly between his thumb and forefinger. She was still going to sneeze, but at least like this, it wouldn’t be nearly as loud.

“Hah… HA-GNNNNK!” Sydney’s stifled sneeze was quite powerful, but it was still fairly quiet. The bouncer didn’t appear to have noticed. Kevin breathed a sigh of relief as he and Sydney turned around the final car in the row, now next to the wall where his car was parked. Then, something dawned on him: no more cars. The space between Kevin’s car and their location was completely open. There were no other cars to hide behind. They would have to make a run for it. Just as Kevin was about to tell Sydney their only option, she gently bumped his chest with her elbow.

“I’m… I’m going to sneeze again!”

“Great. Wait a minute. There’s nothing but open space between here and my car, so just let it out, then run!”

“Heh… HAHH! HAASCHHOOO!”

Kevin and Sydney sprang to their feet and began to sprint toward the dark grey car just a few meters away. The bouncer had obviously seen them as he shouted for them to stop and come back, as if they would actually listen to such a request. The duo quickly arrived at Kevin’s car, and they both hastily climbed in. Before even closing his door, Kevin started the DB9’s powerful six-liter twelve-cylinder engine and put his foot to the floor. He deftly maneuvered the car to the nearest ramp and headed to the bottom level of the parking garage. Apparently, none of the other staff members had been notified as they were able to pass through the exit gate without incident.

As Kevin raced down the road, trying to put as much distance between Sydney and the casino, the young woman grabbed his necktie and yanked it forcefully toward her face. Folding the end of the tie over her nose, Sydney took a deep breath and blew her nose loudly. Kevin grimaced, but he allowed Sydney to make unorthodox use of his necktie. Once she had finished, the young man glanced over at her.

“What was that for?”

“You owe me.”

“Hey, I saved your life.”

“I… I guess you did. Thank you.”

“So… Does this mean you forgive me?”

“Yeah, like hell! Wherever you’re going, I’m going with you. Get used to it; I’m going to torment you for the rest of your life!”

Spending the rest of his life with Sydney. Kevin smiled to himself; he liked the sound of that.

---

I might make a sequel to this if it's popular enough. I already have a few ideas that I could use, but I'll base my decision on comments.

[a_nonny_mouse]

Oh, very well done. I'd love to see more.

[Sneeze999]

Pretty good! making a sequel would be a very good idea.

[Bombast]

Do it. It could be like The Fugitive meets Mr. Lucky.

[Heven]

Really enjoyed this one. Thanks for writing it!

[Here Secretly]

OMG. That was SO good I can't stand it. I mean... the bit in the casino was GREAT especially in the beginning when she was being all ladylike and everything... but at the end... the whole "sneezing while hiding" thing done without being hokey or stupid... VERY nice!

[Blah!?]

Thanks for the comments, everyone! A sequel is on the way, but I'm not really sure when I'll be done, so be patient, please!

[twinkies690]

very original. especially like the whole scene where he stifled her nose. more?

[Light]

Very good. More like this please.

[Curiosity234]

I missed this one... I see you were still good even four years ago. Thanks for bumping it, Light, I never would have seen it.

[Nas]

Aww that's it? I hope you add more!

[Hollow]

I'd like to see more

[Blah!?]

Hey everyone,

I'm really grateful for all the responses lately, but I have to say I don't think I'm going to be doing a sequel to this one. I did try very briefly, back around when I posted this one, but I really couldn't come up with any ideas I liked.

If you guys really want more, feel free to write your own stories with the same characters if you want to. I'd be totally fine with something like that, but I don't think I'll be doing it myself.

[allisonallergies]

Wonderful absolutely wonderful.

[zneeze]

I am so, so glad this got bumped because I'd never read this until last night. Blah-san, not that this is anything out of the ordinary, but you know exactly how a sneezefic should be written! Teach me your ways! xD I especially loved how Sydney's sneezes became louder and more open when she was drunk, excellent touch!

[Light]

Bumping a classic story for its ten year anniversary.

 

[NickG1998]

Please continue this amazing story and keep up the good work

 

[Former Empath]

Okay, so the title is super cute and the concept is really unique and interesting.  I think it's fun that they hit it off so well, and it's so sweet that you didn't have anything untoward happen in the hotel room.  His remorse at her reaction is also really endearing.  There's an interesting level of detail paid to the car involved... sounds like a side interest. =P  The sneezing-while-hiding was cute, but I was a little too worried about them (high stakes and all) to feel like I could just enjoy it.  But, I think that speaks to the writing, in that I was invested in the story and the safety of the characters.

I know the point is the female character who is sneezing, but partly because I'm not really into female sneezing and mostly because you're an excellent writer, I found myself very interested in Kevin and who he is as a person.

(Also, I have the express permission of the author to reply to this decades-old post....)