NPC Adventures (F) Updated 7/14/14

[Blah!?]

So over the past couple days I came up with this fun little writing exercise for myself. Basically, I created a city like one you might find in an adventure game or RPG, and now I'm writing little short stories about the various non-player characters in their daily lives. To spice things up, I'm including awkward interactions with very bizarre player characters, but one of the challenges I've set for myself is trying to keep everything simple. As such, none of these characters are going to go on their own quests unless it's something within the city and it's what they're specifically meant to do. Other loose limits include keeping myself down to between two and four pages per story, and also not using any non-player characters before they've had their own little story to be introduced.

For now, I have three little stories completed, two more planned, and countless others potentially on the way once I think of more ideas. I hope you enjoy!

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Victoria the Stone Mason

Less than a month had passed since Victoria was hired to sculpt a statue of the great hero Eless the Strider. Now, she was being called upon again, albeit for an admittedly lesser task. Eless was known as one of the most skilled rangers in the land, and no day in the Royal Port of Greykeep was complete without seeing him walking the streets with his pet dog. Today, that dog was to be the subject of Victoria's work.

The stone mason was unsure if the dog actually had a name. She had never heard Eless nor anyone else mention it. Come to think of it, Eless hardly said anything at all. Still, Victoria smiled to herself as she retrieved a hammer and chisel from her desk. A large block of marble had already been laid down outside, so all that remained was to meet Eless and his pet.

"Good afternoon!" Victoria greeted, waving one hand as she stepped through her front door. Eless and his dog stood outside, and the muscular ranger merely nodded silently in response. Victoria already knew him to be a man of few words, so she smiled and stood next to the block of stone.

"Alright, all we have to do is decide how you want your dog to be posed," said Victoria, gesturing to the large but friendly-looking animal. Eless turned to the dog and silently placed a hand on its head. Without so much as a pant, the dog's hind legs folded and it sat down. Victoria's eyes lit up and she nodded.

"That looks great! Are you sure you want him posed like that?"

Eless nodded back, and Victoria knelt down beside the block of stone. Gently tapping the chisel into the block, she broke away the corners and started forming the basic shape of the dog. Before long, however, Victoria had to stop and give her nose a gentle rub. Her hands were already covered with stone dust, so she lightly pressed the back of her wrist to the underside of her nose and rubbed upward. Her nose still tickled lightly, but it was subtle enough to manage now. Taking in a quiet sniff, Victoria shook her head and returned to her work.

Victoria always lost track of time as she worked. Once she became engrossed in a project, she entered a trance-like state until she was finished. Today, however, she was feeling more distracted than usual. The tickle in her nose returned after a few minutes, and this time a rub with her wrist was insufficient in soothing her nose.

"Oh dear, hold on one second..." Victoria breathed, scooting away from the stone.

"Hihh... Heishhoo!"

The stone mason curled her arm around her face and sneezed into the crook of her elbow. Assuming she must have just inhaled some dust, Victoria rubbed her nose, shook her head, and returned to her work. Eless's dog was less placid. It barked twice and stood up at the sound of Victoria's sneeze, startling the mason.

"Oh!" gasped Victoria, placing a hand over her mouth. Eless glanced down at his dog and gently touched its head, placating it once more. Victoria smiled as the dog resumed its sitting position, and she resumed her work in turn.

Unfortunately, Victoria's resolve was again broken in just a few minutes. She rubbed her nose with her wrist, but just as before, her nostrils still yearned for a sneeze. Backing away from the stone, Victoria's head bobbed as she took in a series of short breaths.

"Hih... Heh... Heiishoo!"

Again, Eless's dog sprang to its feet and began to bark. Victoria stared at the animal with a somber expression as she pressed her wrist into the underside of her nose once more. After working as a mason for almost a decade, stone dust had never bothered her before. She suddenly recalled her home life as a child. Victoria had always wanted a dog of her own, but her parents refused on account of her mother being allergic. Now, Victoria came to the disheartening realization that she must have inherited her mother's allergy.

"I think I'm... I-I'm... Heshhoo!" More barking. "I think I might be allergic to dogs," confessed Victoria, setting down her tools and wiping her hands on her apron. She extended the fingers of her right hand and vigorously scrubbed them back and forth under her nose, finally making progress in dulling the tickly sensation.

"But, as you were kind enough to pay me in advance, I promise to... T-to... Heh! Heeshoo!" Yet more barking. "I promise to finish your sculpture. If you could please just have him sit again?"

Eless silently obliged, placing a hand on his dog's head. The animal ceased its barking and sat immediately, earning a smile from Victoria. The mason rubbed her nose once more before picking up her tools and getting back to work. Unfortunately, she barely made one tap with her hammer before she felt another sneeze coming on.

"Hihh... Hehh... HEISHOO!"

Victoria heard something hit the ground with a thud as she suffered a big sneeze. She kept her itchy eyes clenched shut for a few seconds, but when she opened them again, she could only gasp in horror. The force of the sneeze had caused her to drive her chisel straight through the statue's neck, knocking the head to the ground. Letting out a groan of self-pity, Victoria hung her head before standing up to retrieve a new block of stone.

Anastasia the Blacksmith

Anastasia kept up her smile until the warrior known as Vastt the Stoic disappeared around a corner. As soon as he was out of sight, the blacksmith's expression became a frustrated frown. After taking a deep breath and letting out a slow sigh, Anastasia finally picked up the impressive, glowing sword from her counter and carried it to her forge.

This so-called "Sword of +3 Swording" had sustained purely superficial damage during Vastt's latest quest, and so he left it with Anastasia for repairs. The blacksmith was more than confident she could restore it to mint condition in record time, but this was not a job she was particularly interested in. First of all, she had noticed a trend lately among the local heroes: they had all developed a tendency to bring in their weapons and equipment for repairs at the drop of a hat. Anastasia understood wanting to be prepared, but this was simply a waste of her time and a waste of their money.

"Hah-Hahh-Hahhh! HAAPPFSHHOOOO!!!"

Second of all, Anastasia harbored a deep dislike for magical equipment. After letting out a loud, waist-bending sneeze, she pressed the palm of her left hand to her nostrils and mashed them upward. Anastasia snuffled as the bridge of her nose creased, and then she got back to work. The sooner she started, the sooner she could finish.

"Ah-Ahh-Ahhh! AHHPPPPPFF!!!"

Anastasia sneezed again as she lifted the sword and inserted it into her forge. She removed one hand from the hilt and mashed her nose upward again to quell the tickling inside, though it did little to help in the long term. The sword was clearly meant to be swung with both hands, but Anastasia was able to manage it one-handed with ease. She began life as a blacksmith's apprentice at the young age of twelve. Twenty years at the forge had given her a muscular body and rough hands, perfect tools for another lifetime of smithing.

"AHHFFSHHHOOOOO!!!"

"Goodness, Anastasia! I could hear you sneezing all the way on the other side of town!"

After giving her nostrils another upward press with the heel of her hand, Anastasia opened her watery eyes to see Victoria the stone mason standing on the other side of her counter. The blacksmith smiled weakly and then rolled her eyes.

"Excuse me," she groaned with a hint of insincerity. Victoria smiled and leaned on the countertop.

"You're not coming down with something, are you?" the stone mason asked, raising an eyebrow. "It would be most unfortunate for the best smith in town to fall ill at a time like this."

"No, I assure you I am in good health," answered Anastasia, retrieving a bundle from the shelf next to the counter. "It's this magic sword. Magic doesn't agree with me."

"Magic sword?" mumbled Victoria, briefly glancing at Anastasia's bundle as she placed it on the counter. "I didn't know you worked with magic equipment."

"I usually don't," Anastasia grumbled, creasing her nose with her palm once more. "I got into the smithing business specifically to get away from enchantments. See, my family has always had a nose for magic, so to speak. Mine is just too sensitive to it. I can still take a restoration spell from a healer if I'm injured, but being around any kind of magic makes me sneeze something awful."

"I see," said Victoria with a sympathetic frown. "Well, I wish you luck. And thank you for the new chisels!"

"Of course! Any time!" Anastasia replied, smiling at Victoria as she departed and then down at the small bag of coins the stone mason had left behind. After depositing the money into her lockbox, Anastasia returned to the forge.

The enchanted blade was glowing white-hot now; it was ready for work. Anastasia carried it to her anvil, but she froze as she reached for a hammer. The blacksmith's eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared wide. She clumsily tried to set the sword down on the anvil with one hand and rub at her nose with the other, but her sneeze was coming on too quickly for her to accomplish either task.

"Hahhh... Haah! HAAPPPFFSHHHOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Anastasia staggered forward a step and a half, the force of the loud sneeze giving her a little too much momentum. Keeping her eyes clenched shut, she pressed her left palm to her nostrils and mashed her nose upward three times before taking in a harsh, frustrated sniff.

When Anastasia finally opened her eyes, she nearly screamed in despair. During her clumsy stumble, she had forced the blade of the sword into the side of the anvil, bending it at an awkward angle. Grumbling out a string of profanities, Anastasia threw the blade back into her forge and retreated for a moment of rest to clear her head.

Bridget the Ghost

A great network of catacombs ran deep under the Royal Port of Greykeep. The tunnels closest to the entrance in the chapel were the only ones still officially used for burials and rituals, but the rest of the underground was kept open out of respect for the dead. However, no one but the bravest adventurers dared to delve so deep that the entrance was out of sight. The farthest reaches of the tunnels were home to a great many fearsome things.

Bridget, however, was not so fearsome at all. She was the daughter of a family of nobles living within the city, and when their estate burned to the ground just over fifty years ago, she was the only one to linger as a ghost. After the incident, Bridget spent the next ten years at the site of the accident, endlessly weeping and completely oblivious to her surroundings. Eventually, Bridget finally got a hold of herself and decided to live out the rest of her existence in the catacombs with the remains of her family.

Despite Bridget's timid and fearful nature, she quickly grew accustomed to living in the darkness of the tunnels. As a ghost she is able to see in the dark uninhibited, and the nameless creatures that dwell around her leave her alone. Now, she serves as a guide to anyone with the need to venture deep into the catacombs, showing them safe paths through the tunnels and away from the monsters. Today, a powerful wizard known as Maeve the Mauve was following a tip deep into the underground, and Bridget quickly appeared before her to offer her services.

"Um, hello there," the ghost greeted in a soft voice. Wisps of transparent blue light flowed into each other, steadily assembling Bridget's ethereal body. Once she was fully constituted, she smiled and waved a hand at the wizard. Maeve ignored the ghost, instead approaching a torch attached to the wall.

"Oh, please don't light that!" Bridget instructed, floating after Maeve. Her toes hovered just above the ground and a translucent dress billowed out behind her. As a ghost, however, Bridget was unable to physically interact with the word, and she was unable to stop Maeve as she struck a match and lit the torch.

Orange light filled a small section of the tunnel, illuminating the walls as well as several dark creatures. Bridget held an arm in front of her eyes and backed away as Maeve began to hurl spells at the monsters. The other primary reason for Bridget's descent into darkness was that in death she had become extremely sensitive to light.

"Hh-! Hhhhh-! Hh'CHSHhhh!"

Bridget expelled a light, breathy sneeze. The force of it was enough to propel her ghostly form backward a few inches, and at the same time a howling wind gusted through the tunnel and extinguished the torch. Luckily for Maeve, she had already defeated the monsters and the battle was over.

"I'm very sensitive to light," Bridget pleaded, floating back over to Maeve's side. "It makes me sneeze. And it also attracts those monsters. If you'd like, I can show you a way through the tunnels so you won't have to-"

Ignoring the petite ghost, Maeve struck another match and relit the torch. Bridget shielded her eyes with her forearm again.

"Hhhhh-! Hh'CHSSsshhh!"

Bridget's gentle sneeze once again summoned a gust of wind and extinguished the torch. She scrunched up her face and quickly rubbed her fingers back and forth under her nose before addressing the wizard once more.

"I can show you a way through the tunnels so you can avoid the monsters. Um, please don't light it aga-"

Perhaps Maeve the Mauve was known to be deaf, and Bridget simply never heard the news. The wizard lit yet another match and set the torch alight again.

"H'CHHSHhhhh!"

Maeve spent a dozen more matches trying to light the same torch. Each time the light made poor Bridget sneeze, and the resulting burst of wind extinguished the torch. Finally, Maeve appeared to have run out of matches. She held the box up to her ear and shook it. When it produced no sound, Bridget placed a hand on her chest and let out a sigh of relief.

"Did you run out?" she asked, giving her nose another rub with her outstretched fingers. Maeve nodded and Bridget sighed again.

"Anyway, um, I can show you a way through the tunnels in the dark. Now that you're out of matches, I'll try to be as helpful as I can. Does that sound okay?"

Bridget bit her lip when she noticed Maeve was ignoring her again. Not sure what the wizard would do this time, the ghost simply rubbed her nose and waited for a response. Bridget watched as Maeve raised her hands and cast a small fire spell, and the ghost's heart sank when the wizard lit the same torch yet again.

"Oh... Oh no... Hhh-! Hhhhhhh-! Hhh'CHHSHHhhhhh!"

-----

That's all for now, but be on the lookout for more! As always, feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated, and I hope you all enjoyed reading! See you next time!

[Pilgrim]

This is pretty cool. The ghost one was my favorite; sneezy ghosts is an underutilized genre imo. I hope you continue to drop these stories in here whenever you write more of them, Greykeep sounds like a pretty cool place.

[Floating Feather]

If we're picking favorites, I'm after Victoria! Though animal allergies are my favorite, so that's no surprise.

Favorites aside, these are all great stories! If you see fit to make more, be assured you have an engaged reader!

[SexyGodlikeHair]

Ah, I love the story and the premise! Awesome!

[SmokeyGhost]

I like it, well written. And I like the little bits of humor. Sword of Swording, Maeve the Mauve... that's great

[BikermousefromMars]

very clever set of stories here :3 pretty funny too, nice work here.

[SexyGodlikeHair]

Oh and by the way-I would looooove bizarre player interactions, they'd make my day. Not only that, what about...slightly, how do you say..."fetish-y" player experiences. Like if someone from the forum, per se, was playing this game.

[Blah!?]

Hey again, everyone!

That's right, I wrote some more already! Just two this time, but I have plenty more lined up for the future. In the meantime, brace yourself for some of the weakest jokes and cheapest references I've ever made.

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Sydney the Guard

Sydney had learned to be distrustful of the local heroes after just a few months on the job. Some of them were decent folks, but there were others who seemed downright determined to never follow the law. Whether they paid the court a fine or served their sentence, these select few were hardly heroes anymore in Sydney's opinion.

Today, the spry young guardswoman found herself chasing a man known as Blade the Hidden over the rooftops of the harbor district. More than a few citizens reported him pickpocketing over a dozen people within a span of just a few minutes. Sydney attempted to confront him, but she knew better than to be surprised when he ran. She was one of the few guards who could keep pace with Blade, but even he was often able to elude her.

"Stop!" shouted Sydney as she staggered over a few loose shingles. "You've violated the law!" Blade the Hidden paid her no heed, but Sydney smirked when she saw he was running toward a dead end. To the guard's dismay, however, Blade stuck his arms out to his sides and gracefully leapt over the edge of the roof. Sydney jogged up to the ledge, but when she looked down at the area below, Blade was nowhere to be seen.

Grumbling to herself in frustration, Sydney climbed down a conveniently placed ladder on the side of the building. She found herself in a courtyard filled with bushes and flowers, prompting her to roll her eyes.

"Ha-PVFF!"

Pulling her lips tight and scrunching up her face, Sydney let out a sharp, spluttering sneeze. She had been allergic to flowers for as long as she could remember, and she specifically asked to be assigned to the harbor district to avoid the flowery courtyards throughout the rest of the city. In the heat of the chase, Sydney lost track of just how far Blade had led her.

Not wanting to waste any more time, Sydney drew her sword and approached the large hedge closes to the roof her mark had leapt from. She poked her blade around in the leaves, but she could tell Blade had already hidden himself somewhere else. Unfortunately for Sydney, the rest of the plants in the garden were full of colorful flowers.

"Ah-PFF! Ah-Ahh-! HA-PVV!"

The guard let out two more sneezes as she approached the nearest flowering bush. She once again inserted her sword between the branches, but again Blade proved to be elsewhere. Even worse, agitating the bush shook a cloud of pollen into the air. Even Sydney might have admitted the aroma was pleasant if she was able to resist sneezing for more than a few seconds.

"Hehh! Hahh... HEH-PVFF!"

Sydney staggered back a few steps, vigorously rubbing her free hand back and forth under her nose. Unfortunately, she was so preoccupied with her sinuses that she failed to notice the bush directly behind her. Sydney lost her footing and fell backward into the flowers, scattering petals and pollen all around her. By some sliver of luck, however, she felt herself land on top of another person before succumbing to a sneezing fit.

"HA-PVV! Hah-Hahh-Hahhh! Ah-PFF! Ha-PVFFF!"

After the final sneeze, Sydney felt the other person in the bush scramble out from under her. She thrashed around for a moment before managing to stand up again, but even then she was far from ready for another pursuit. Her nose was filled with a maddening itch and tears gently trickled from the corners of her eyes. Unable to do anything else, Sydney scrunched up her face and vigorously rubbed her nose for a few seconds.

When Sydney finally regained her composure, she opened her watery eyes to find herself face to face with Blade the Hidden. The guard gasped, but then her lips curled into a grin. Maybe she had finally caught him.

"Halt!" Sydney bellowed, holding up her sword. Blade stood as still as a statue for a second, and then he suddenly shoved Sydney right back into the bush she had just climbed out of.

"Halt!" Sydney repeated, too bewildered to say anything else as she heard Blade's fading footfalls. A few flower petals landed gently on her face, one of them coming to rest on the tip of her nose. Sydney flared her nostrils, but this only caused her to inhale even more pollen. As she continued to lose her senses to an allergic reaction, Sydney could think of only one thing to say.

"Ha- Hal- Halt! HAA-PVVFFF!!!"

Maria the Shopkeeper

Maria smiled happily as she heard someone stepping into her shop. She rose up from behind the counter to see Anastasia, the local blacksmith. The two women smiled and waved to each other, and then Anastasia leaned against the countertop.

"Good day, Anastasia," Maria greeted, her voice perky and cheerful as ever. She quickly rubbed her nose with an outstretched finger before resuming her smile. "The usual today?"

"Yes, please," said Anastasia, nodding once. She watched with a smile as Maria walked through a door behind the counter and disappeared into the back room. The blacksmith twiddled her fingers as she heard Maria rummaging around, but she perked up when she noticed the sound of something light falling to the floor.

"Maria?" Anastasia called, glancing at the back room. "Are you alright?"

"Ah... Hahh... AK'CHOOH!"

Anastasia stared with a concerned expression as Maria emerged from the back room of her shop. She was carrying Anastasia's usual supplies, but she appeared to have also added a feather duster to the package. Maria set everything down on the counter in front of the blacksmith and smiled.

"Here you are!" she said, rubbing her nose again.

"Thanks," chuckled Anastasia, "but I didn't order a feather duster."

"Oh! It's, um... Just think of it as a bonus! Free of charge! See, I have too many of them to sell, so I'm just giving them away to my friends!"

Anastasia's smile faded as Maria explained. She frowned down at the feather duster, and she wrinkled her nose when she noticed how unreasonably dusty it was. Anastasia gave her nostrils an upward rub with the palm of her hand and then she turned her gaze to the shopkeeper.

"Maria?"

"K'CHOOH!"

"Bless you. Um, Maria?"

"Yes?" the shopkeeper beamed, rubbing her nose with a suspiciously innocent smile.

"Did Puton sell you all of his junk again?"

"No, of course not!" denied Maria, waving a hand at the blacksmith. "Don't be silly! Um... Maybe. Ugh... Yes. Yes he did."

Anastasia groaned, placing one hand over her eyes. She slumped against the counter, let out a frustrated sigh, and then she dragged her hand slowly down over her face. Anastasia's hand reversed directions and gave her nose an upward rub, and then she lightly touched her fingertips to her temples.

"Why do you keep letting him do this to you, Maria?" asked the blacksmith, though she already knew the answer. The entire city knew Maria had a hopeless, juvenile crush on that so-called hero known as Puton the Ritz. He was a well-known bard with a silver tongue, and even Anastasia had to admit he could occasionally trick her into giving a discount.

"HAK'CHOOH!"

Maria sneezed again before responding. She gently rubbed her nose and gave a small cough. After shaking her head, the shopkeeper cleared her throat and looked back up at her friend.

"Oh, I don't know," confessed Maria, rocking her shoulders back and forth. "He's just so... Charming."

Maria began to giggle like a schoolgirl and Anastasia slumped against the counter again. The blacksmith groaned and rubbed her nose, trying to think of a way to help her friend. Before Anastasia could arrive at a conclusion, Maria let out yet another sneeze.

"AT'CHOOH!"

"Wait, aren't you allergic to dust?"

"Well... Maybe a little?"

Anastasia frowned as Maria started to blush lightly. The shopkeeper gently rubbed her nose and kicked one foot back and forth on the floor. Finally, Anastasia scooped up her bundle of supplies, plucking the feather duster from the top of the package and holding it away from her face.

"Maria, promise me you won't let him swindle you like this anymore."

"CHOOH!"

Maria sneezed again, but she nodded and smiled. Anastasia smiled back, though more out of pity than anything else. Rolling her eyes, the blacksmith left the shop and made her way back to her own, disposing of the feather duster as soon as she was able. Unfortunately, as fate would have it, Anastasia turned a corner to find Puton the Ritz standing outside her forge, a sack full of weapons and armor slung over his shoulder.

-----

I'm actually trying to limit myself so I don't post a hundred of these in the same day, but I do have several more on the drawing board. If I do write any more of them today, I'll probably save them for posting at a later date, but they'll be up soon! Again, thanks for reading!

I may also be tempted to give cookies to anyone who can figure out all of my stupid references.

[zneeze]

Blade the Hidden

These are really clever, Blah! Great idea, great work so far as usual. Love the variety of sneeze spellings and causes for everyone too!

[a red nine]

HEY I'm finally here to review, at long long last. I wasn't supposed to work yesterday but wouldn't you know it they put me on the schedule anyway and then kept us there about an hour longer than we were supposed to be and well I didn't get home until 1 a.m. But I digress

These two new drabbles are just as fun as the last set. I'm not sure I could choose between the two for which was my favorite, because while I liked Sydney the Guard for the spicing, I liked the second one because it was funny. It's not often that you see the letter V show up in a spice-noise, but I strangely liked it...? May have to snag that idea for myself. In any case, it was a fitting choice, real cute. I also liked the part where Blade the Hidden was just sort of like "hey an advantage" and shoved her back into the bush.

The second one made me laugh because it was like, of course in games your character eventually learns how to coerce the shopkeeper into doing just what they want - which usually means selling all your junk that nobody would ever care about and the shopkeeper somehow has infinite money to buy the crap. Poor Maria doesn't even seem to realize she's basically programmed not to say no. Anastasia has more of a defense, but even she can only do so much to stop Puton the Ritz. You know me and my love for ridiculous shmoozy characters, so I have a slight hope that Puton the Ritz returns for more antics.

I hope you're enjoying writing these as much as I am reading them. They're like fun-sized snippets that give you just enough character and just enough sneezing, and I also like when characters from previous chapters interact with future ones. KEEP IT UP YO