All Adventure's Eve (F, 4/4) Completed 10/30/2014

[Blah!?]

Ah, the time has come for another seasonal spinoff. I've been not-so-subtly hinting at a big project that got me back in the mood to write The Adventure Club in the first place, and now you're looking at it. I've actually been sitting on the gimmick behind this premise for years now, but only recently did I decide that our intrepid band of Adventurers would be the best characters to put it to the test. All the setup you'll need gets laid out in the first couple paragraphs, so I'll not waste much more of your time.

Anyway, if you haven't read The Adventure Club at all yet, I recommend that you read at least a couple of the chapters from the main series before you read this. You can find it here: http://www.sneezefet...showtopic=48534

And now, let it begin...

-----

It's been a long time, hasn't it? Since somebody threw a good Halloween party, I mean. The best kind of all, where people dress up in crazy costumes and do stupid stuff. All the ones I'd been to lately were just like normal parties that happened to be around Halloween, where people don't dress up in crazy costumes but they still do stupid stuff. Whatever, that's beside the point. The point is that this is finally happening. Some new freshman invited a bunch of people from school to a costume party at his family's mansion. What's better than a costume party at a mansion on All Hallow's Eve?

But, I have to admit, despite my enthusiasm a minute ago, I had no idea what sort of costume to wear. I spent a whole day agonizing over it, but I couldn't come up with anything better than a lame old vampire outfit that I picked up from the seasonal costume store. It could be worse, I suppose. Somebody has to dress up as the generic vampire at these things. May as well be me as anyone else. Or I could have gone as a condom dispenser, like most of the other costumes that stupid store had. Whatever. I just hope the rest of the club brought better costumes than I did.

When I arrived at the mansion, I was a bit surprised to find I was one of the only people there. Weird. I didn't think I was that early. Anyway, as I stepped into the entryway there was only one other person there. It was a short girl dressed as a witch, and as I approached I eventually realized it was Liz, Tracy's friend from the theater club.

"Hey, Liz," I greeted, waving unceremoniously.

"Hi, Toby! Ooh, spooky!" Liz giggled as she noticed my costume. She jogged over to me, the brim of her hat bouncing up and down.

"Is anyone else here yet?" I asked, scratching the back of my head. Liz shrugged.

"Nope. I think we're the first two. I'm glad you're here, though. I was getting kind of lonely."

"Huh. How long have you been here?"

"Just a couple minutes," answered Liz, poking a finger into her cheek, "but I haven't even seen our host around either."

I was about to ask Liz if she even remembered the guy's name, because I sure as heck didn't. But, before I could, I heard the door swing open behind me and I turned to look. Charlie stepped through the door, and I can't say I was at all surprised to find her wearing her regular clothes with no costume to speak of. Her blonde hair was a bit longer than she usually kept it, and today she'd even gathered it up into a short ponytail, but aside from that, she looked the same as always.

"Hey, Charlie," I greeted, waving to her. She waved back, and I heard Liz tapping a foot beside me.

"Aw, you didn't dress up!" Liz whined, jogging over to Charlie. "How come?"

"I'm not really a dress up kind of person," Charlie answered, surprising precisely no one. Liz pouted, starting to tap her foot again.

"But it's a costume party! You have to!"

Charlie rolled her eyes, and then she held up a paper bag that she had clearly been trying to hide until now. Liz's face lit up, but she quickly regressed to a pout when Charlie lowered the bag again.

"Well, I did bring a little something just in case," said Charlie, idly rubbing her nose. "But I still can't say I really want to wear it."

"Come on, please?" Liz begged, clasping her hands together. Putting on a nervous frown, Charlie glanced at me as if I was supposed to get her out of this somehow. I shrugged and gave her an answer she probably didn't want.

"I mean, it is a costume party," I said, fluttering my vampire cloak thing. "I think you should put it on."

"Thanks a lot, Count Chocula," Charlie groaned, rolling her eyes. She glanced back at Liz, who had started wiggling excitedly.

"Yay!" she cheered, but then she suddenly threw her head back so far that her pointy hat nearly fell off.

"AAHHHHHH-!"

Liz breathed in a shrill gasp, and Charlie raised an arm to cover herself. But, before Charlie could back away, Liz let out one of her characteristically huge sneezes. With so little distance between the two of them, Charlie definitely got some of it on her.

"CHHHIIIOOOOOOO!!!"

"Gesundheit..." Charlie grumbled, glancing irritably at the wet patch that had appeared on the sleeve of her leather jacket. Liz was blushing furiously, but she began to giggle as she rubbed her nose.

"S-sorry," she apologized with an embarrassed laugh. "Well, that's even more reason to dress up! You can change out of those clothes that I just sneezed all over..."

Muttering something unintelligible but obviously frustrated, Charlie disappeared through a door in search of a bathroom where she could change. After rubbing her nose a bit more, Liz pulled the brim of her witch's hat down to hide her face and sighed in humiliation.

"You okay, Liz?" I asked, surprised to see her so gloomy. Keeping her hat pulled low, she shook her head.

"Maybe I shouldn't have come," she whined. "I've been all sniffly since yesterday, so I think I might be catching a cold. I just really want to come to the party! I'm sorry!"

"Hey, it's okay," I reassured, holding up a hand. "You don't seem so bad. Just don't drink any communal punch, and don't... Don't sneeze on anyone else."

"I'll try," Liz sighed, dejectedly placing a finger under her upturned nose.

Just then, I heard the front door open again. Liz glanced over my shoulder, and her defeated expression vanished in the blink of an eye. She brushed past me and damn near sprinted up to the latest arrival. It was none other than Tracy, the next member of our crew. Her costume appeared to be a black and gray ninja outfit, with a (hopefully plastic) katana sheathed on her back and a plethora of throwing knives tucked around her waist. Like Charlie, she too looked a bit different from normal. Tracy's usual ponytail was completely gone. I think this was the first time I'd ever seen her without one. Instead, she had a very well-groomed bob cut, reaching down to just below her chin.

"Tracy!" Liz squealed, spreading her arms. Tracy smiled subtly, but Liz stopped just short of reaching her.

"Oh, um... I'd hug you but I don't want to give you my germs," she said, sniffing as if to illustrate her point. Tracy nodded in acknowledgement, and then she reached into, er... Somewhere in her ninja costume and drew out a small packet of tissues. Liz's face lit up again as Tracy held them out to her.

"For me?" she gasped. Liz really knew how to ask the obvious questions. Tracy nodded and Liz gratefully accepted the tissues.

"Aw, you're the best!"

Tracy glanced at me and then made her way over as Liz fussed with the tissue packet. The way the sides of her bob cut swished as she walked was oddly distracting. She almost looked like a completely different person without her ponytail. Maybe Tracy had a twin sister who also happened to have bad eyesight and spoke charades as a native language. Whoever she was, she stopped in front of me, waiting for me to say something.

"Hey, Tracy. Did you get a haircut?" Oh god, why did I say that? Of course she got a haircut, stupid! The way she frowned and rolled her eyes at me led me to believe she was thinking the exact same thing.

Just then, Liz blew her nose. I normally would never make a note of something like this, but it was just so unbelievably loud that Tracy and I both jumped at the sound of it. We turned to look at Liz just in time to see her folding the tissue over to blow a second time. It was just as loud, but at least we were prepared for it.

"Sorry," whimpered Liz, crumpling the tissue and sniffing deeply. I was about to tell her not to worry about it when Charlie made her return. She stepped through the door behind Liz, and I'm pretty sure none of us were expecting her costume.

"I regret all of this already," she droned, tugging at her black and white skirt. Against all odds, Charlie appeared to be wearing the very same French maid outfit she had made herself for the cosplay contest during Club Wars. She appeared to have ditched the feather duster, but for whatever reason she actually kept the tiara. After letting us stare for a moment, Charlie hung her head with a scowl and turned back to the door.

"Forget it, I'm taking this off."

"Aw, don't do that!" Liz whined, jogging over to our irritated friend.

"Why'd you bring it if you hate it?" I asked, cutting right to the heart of it. "And for that matter, why'd you even keep it?"

Charlie's cheeks flushed for half a second before she gave me a death glare. It was still a little scary even with the skimpy maid outfit. She was far from happy, but on the plus side it seemed I managed to stop her from leaving.

"It's the only costume I had," she grumbled, putting her hands on her hips. "And it's not like I'm going to spend money on something dumb like this."

"Um, hello?" I shot back, holding up my cheap as dirt vampire cloak thing. "This stupid thing was like three bucks. I'd say that was worth not dressing up in something I hate."

"It's good you don't hate your costume. I hate it for you."

Charlie separated from the group to go fume by herself for a moment, but that was probably for the best. Once she blew off some steam, I knew she'd decide to stick around and share in the costume-based humiliation.

"Hih-CHH!"

Beside me, Tracy let out a soft sneeze. She was like a canary, except for detecting house dust instead of the deadly gasses found in mineshafts. In fact, that's a terrible analogy, so just forget I made it. I glanced over at her to find that she had made a few adjustments to her costume, namely pulling up the hood and mask to cover her face. Now her whole body was concealed by the ninja outfit aside from the space around her eyes. Speaking of, her glasses were gone too. She probably put them wherever she'd pulled that tissue packet out of.

"Can you see okay?" I asked, noticing her squinting at me. "Without your glasses, I mean."

Tracy nodded, but the fact that she was still squinting did little to reassure me. I held up my hand, hoping to conduct a little test.

"High five."

Tracy swung an open hand toward mine, but she only managed to hit my thumb. She frowned at me intensely, and her expression only became more extreme when I started to smile.

"Here, let's try again," I said, barely able to keep myself from laughing. I held up my palm and Tracy did the same, but she suddenly clenched her hand into a fist and punched me hard in the shoulder. It actually really hurt. A lot. I'm serious, there were almost tears.

"Ow! Jeez!" I whined, clutching my shoulder. Tracy said nothing, and by the time I looked back up at her she was already stomping off to go be mad with Charlie. Not wanting to disturb either of them, I made my way over to Liz.

"How're you holding up?" I asked as Liz rubbed her nose.

"Getting a little stuffy," she complained, taking a deep sniff to punctuate her sentence. I didn't know what else to tell her, so I just smiled and tried to... Er, I don't know. Just be a comforting presence or something.

For the next minute or so, everything continued on with no variation. Charlie and Tracy were still pacing around in frustration. Liz kept sniffing every couple of seconds, each one louder and deeper than the last. And me, well, I still wasn't really doing anything. My phone buzzed in my pocket, startling me a little. I wasn't expecting to get any calls, but I fished it out anyway. It was from an unrecognized number, but before I could decide whether to answer it or not, I heard it.

What's it, you ask? Well my friend, it is the sound I'd been waiting for ever since I arrived. "Waiting for" is an understatement, in fact. More like dreading.

"Make way~! For Prince Andy~!"

I was real glad there was still a door between us. It would only last for a few more seconds, but for the moment it was at least muffling his idiocy. I stole a glance at Liz, who appeared to be building up for another sneeze. She threw back her head and belted one out before Andy could even start the next line.

"AAHHHHHH-CHHHIIOOOOOOO!!!"

"Bless you!" Andy shouted back from the far side of the door, and then he continued his serenade to himself.

"Say hey~! It's Prince Andy~!"

I could tell he was right at the door now, but for whatever reason he didn't open it. Instead, he simply continued with the song. For the time being there weren't any other words he could replace with his name, so it proceeded as usual. When I realized he really wasn't going to let himself in, I hung my head and placed both hands over my face.

"Should we let him in?" asked Liz with yet another sniff.

"I'm not doing it," I groaned in reply.

Giving a quick shrug, Liz headed to the door and pulled it open for Andy. I tried as hard as I could to resist, but eventually my willpower gave out and I looked up at him to behold the horror that was his costume. Andy was dressed as a giant pumpkin. That's it, no tricks. It was so huge that only his head, forearms and lower legs could reach outside of it. Luckily his knees were just barely below the bottom, so at least he could walk, but his elbows were trapped inside the gourd, making his arms nearly useless.

"Shit," Andy grunted, pausing his song when he realized he physically would not fit through the open door with his arms sticking out. As an attempted work-around he turned sideways and tried to slide through, but the front and back of his pumpkin got stuck in the doorframe anyway. He flailed for a few seconds in an attempt to free himself, but he quickly gave up and resumed singing. Without the door between us, it was pure agony.

"Prince Andy, fabulous he, he's a big pumpkin~! Genuflect, show some respect, down on one knee~! Now try you best to stay calm~! Brush up your Sunday salaam~! Then come and meet his spectacular gourd-erie~!"

I turned around at the sound of stomping footsteps to see Charlie heading back to wherever she had changed into her costume. This was clearly the last straw for her, and I didn't want her to abandon us.

"Charlie, don't leave," I pleaded, taking off after her. She ignored me and continued to approach the door at the far side of the room.

"Charlie, don't leave!" I repeated. I was practically begging now. She raised a hand once she reached the door, but instead of opening it, she slammed her fist against the wall beside it, hitting it hard enough to crack the drywall behind the wallpaper. I must have gotten through to her somehow, since she left the door undisturbed and instead headed to Andy. Grabbing the top and bottom of the pumpkin, she managed to yank him through the doorway with only moderate effort.

"It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown," said Andy, waving a hand at her. Charlie gave him one of the most intense death glares I'd ever seen, and then she placed both hands on top of his costume and pressed down as hard as she could, forcing Andy into a kneeling position.

"If you sing so much as one more syllable, I will carve your ass into a jack-o'-lantern and bake your entrails into a pie. Are we clear?"

Andy nodded vigorously, nearly throwing off the stupid-looking crown in his hair. I hadn't even noticed it before now. I guess I was just too overwhelmed by the sheer idiocy of this event. Once Andy's nodding put all the drinking birds in the world to shame, Charlie finally released him and went to sit on the entryway's master staircase. As I watched her go, I noticed someone standing at the top of said staircase. It startled me at first, but I figured it must have been our host, finally come to greet us.

"Great, you're all here!" he said in a happy voice, clasping his hands together over his chest. "I'm so glad you could make it!"

"Hey, thanks for the party," I replied, giving a quick, casual salute. "But are we the only ones coming?"

"Oh, yes!" the host replied, taking a step toward us. He finally came into view, and he was probably the most generic-looking high school freshman I'd ever seen. Seriously, even more generic than myself. The only thing about him that stood out was the fact that he was wearing a felt suit. It was so dark that I could almost call it black, but there was the faintest hint of green to it. Whatever, probably not important.

"Woo hoo!" Andy cheered, shooting back up to his feet. "I've never had a party just for me before! But I am kind of curious. Why'd you only invite us?"

"Because you're special," said our host, leaning against the top of the banister. "And I wanted to ask you something personally. Would you do me the honor of accepting me into The Adventure Club?"

The mansion's entryway hung in near-silence for a moment, broken only by Liz's continued sniffing. We were clearly all trying to process this, but Charlie's blunt attitude won out and she spoke up first. She leaned back against the staircase and tipped her head back to look up at our host.

"And you couldn't just join like you would with any other club?" she asked, casually rubbing her nose. "Who even are you, anyway?"

I could see a vein pop in the young man's head. We were treading on thin ice.

"Who am I?" he stammered, placing a hand on his chest. "I am Phil Howard, your gracious host! Your gracious host who is asking you, nay, begging you to allow me into your fold!"

"You know, we're not actually allowed to refuse or evict club members unless they engage in unsavory conduct. If you'd just signed up for the club like any other normal person, you would have gotten in just fine. Now, though... Now I feel a little creeped out."

Phil's previously neutral face took on a rather disconcerting level of rage. It just seemed unnatural, and I wanted to look away after just a few seconds, but for whatever reason I could barely even blink, let alone turn my head. Then, a most unlikely event transpired. Andy managed to actually defuse the situation somewhat.

"Well, if you wanted to talk to The Adventure Club alone so badly... And no offense to her, but why'd you invite Liz then?" asked Andy, gesturing back and forth between Phil and Liz.

"It's fide, just preted I'm ndot even here," said Liz, gently pressing a tissue to the underside of her stuffy nose. Phil's enraged expression disappeared immediately, and his jaw dropped so rapidly that it nearly hit the floor.

"Wait, I thought she was... I thought she was your fifth member," mumbled Phil, looking almost embarrassed.

"Doe," Liz corrected, sniffing wetly. "I'm just their friend frobm the theater club."

"David's our fifth member, genius," grumbled Charlie. That managed to push Phil a bit higher on the rage meter. His face contorted again, not as intensely as before, but it was still hard to look at.

"Putting all that aside," he growled, removing his hand from the banister. "May I join The Adventure Club or may I not?"

Andy, Charlie, Tracy and I glanced back and forth amongst ourselves. It didn't take long for us to arrive at our decision. We all turned back to Phil in one motion and folded our arms. Well, all of us minus Andy, who was capable of doing precisely dick with his arms.

"I think it's a negative on that one, maverick," said Andy, speaking for all of us with no dissent for the first time in history. Phil's eerie expression of rage returned, and then he stepped away from the staircase.

"Then you have sealed your fate," he said ominously as he disappeared through the door at the top of the stairs. The four other guests and I all shrugged at each other, but then things started getting weird. The wet sounds of slithering and sliding began to pull at the back of my mind, and my first instinct was to run for the front door. Just as I turned to it, I realized where the noise was coming from. A wall of black tentacles had slid out of the shadows, blocking off our escape. Or were they the same dark green as Phil's suit?

"Well, that's something you don't see every day," I shouted, raising my voice to get everyone else's attention. Liz yelped in terror, but somehow the rest of us were significantly less bothered by this disturbing turn of events.

"I don't know, man," said Andy, waddling up to me. "Between basement ghosts and alien Santa Claus, I'd say we're pretty well versed in 'shit you don't see every day.'"

"You know, you actually have a point," I said, unable to stop myself from grinning a little. I took a step toward the mass of tentacles, if only to examine it. Before I could reach it, however, I felt the ground shake beneath my feet. I glanced back at the others, and clearly it wasn't just me. A second later it happened again, and along with the trembling I started to feel light-headed. As the floor rumbled a third time, my legs gave out and I was on the ground before I knew it.

-----

That's all for now, folks. I'm going to update this story once a week until the day before Halloween, so be sure to tune in next week. Same Adventure time, same Adventure channel.

[Chanel_no5]

She was like a canary, except for detecting house dust instead of the deadly gasses found in mineshafts. In fact, that's a terrible analogy, so just forget I made it.

I will not, because this had me laughing SO hard!

Great work! Oh that must be the most awkward Halloween party in history.

[SneezeloveronGirls]

I love Liz's sneezes! What a great start to this story.

[BikermousefromMars]

Liz is my favorite, hehe. :3 another well done story, man. love it! i've always liked her kinds of sneezes. x3

[Curiosity234]

Neeheehee dark majjyks.

[a red nine]

Between sick Liz, doopy Pumpkin Prince Andy, and embarrassed Charlie in her maid get-up, all the details have combined to form a very cute and funny start. It may begin with Toby wondering how he's going to survive this party figuratively, but ends up being a literal interpretation. Why can't I words today?! I'm totally weaksauce. But I love all these guys and their silly costumes. Wishing harder than ever for a real animated TV version when I think about all the tribulations they're about to go through.

[Snz.]

I love these characters, it never gets boring, and I can't wait to read more.

[Blah!?]

Looks like it's about that time, folks. Time for part 2! And of course, thank you all so much for your responses!

@Chanel: I always feel great when people appreciate my humor. Every time I try pretty much any joke I've ever come up with, I'm always really worried that it'll fall flat and I'll be the only person who thinks it's funny.

@SneezeloveronGirls & BikermousefromMars: Well, I hope you guys are ready for more Liz, because there's plenty where that came from. I'm actually kind of surprised she's so popular, given she isn't even a true member of The Adventure Club. If I had to guess, I'd say most of her current fans weren't around when this series got started, otherwise she probably would have been voted in.

@Curiosity234: Right you are, sir. And things are only going to get weirder from here...

@a red nine: You and me both, pal. I'm sure it's already painfully obvious to everyone who reads this that I draw a ton of inspiration from anime and cartoons. An actual animated series would probably be the greatest thing in my meager existence, but let's be realistic here...

@MisterSneeze: I'm glad you like them! I'm pretty attached to these characters too. They're kind of cliche, but honestly that's a big part of why I like them.

Anyway, let's get a move on. The plot thickens...

-----

I don't remember actually falling unconscious, but when I woke up from whatever happened to us, I was still lying on the floor. I felt cold. Colder than I'd ever been in my life, but somehow it also wasn't uncomfortable. It was neither good nor bad, just a state of being. I sat up, noticing that the mansion's front door was still blocked, but after a few seconds more I noticed that the shadowy areas didn't seem quite so dark anymore. The spaces the tentacles were coming out of were still pitch black, but nothing else was too dark to see.

"Aïe, ouille... gnnn..." I heard a voice groan out from behind me, familiar but also different. I looked back to see Charlie sitting up, placing a hand on her head. She looked exhausted, but her eyes shot wide open when she looked at me.

"Mon Dieu! Toby! Your face!" she yelped, and we both seemed to be as startled by her emergent French accent as she was by whatever was wrong with me.

"Vhat? Vhat's wrong vith my face?" I asked in reply, holding up my hands. Apparently my voice had changed too, and my hands were pale as all hell. I was starting to have my suspicions about what was happening to us. Like Andy said, this probably was one of the weirder things we'd experienced, but we still weren't total strangers to it anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if this was all for real.

Pushing myself to my feet, I walked over to the nearest wall. A conveniently placed decorative mirror hung above a small table, and I tried to take a look at my reflection. What I saw was downright terrifying. My skin was white as the driven snow, and my eyes were blood-red. I thought I could even see little fangs... Actually I just made all that up. I couldn't see anything in the mirror because apparently I was actually a god damn vampire! I thought it must have been a trick, like a fake mirror or something, until Charlie came and stood right behind me, and I could see her reflection just fine.

"So, is this real?" she asked, her French accent still in place. I nodded gravely, not that she could see me in the mirror. We hadn't heard anything from anyone else, in fact I'd completely forgotten to check on any of them, so we turned back to the others to see what was up.

Liz was still laying on her back, seemingly unconscious. Being under the weather probably wasn't doing her any favors. Andy looked more or less the same as he had a minute ago, except his pumpkin looked more like an actual pumpkin and less like cardboard and orange paint.

"Okay, this is so gross," he whined, flailing his arms and legs in an attempt to stand up again. "It's all wet inside here. I'm covered in pumpkin guts and it's really heavy."

"How sad," Charlie cooed sarcastically. The accent only made it more impactful. With a bit of effort she managed to pull him back up to his feet, and once he was standing he seemed to be able to handle the weight of the pumpkin.

"So, you're here," Andy counted off, pointing at Charlie and I, "Liz is playing dead. But where's Tracy?"

We all looked around for her, but she seemed to have disappeared. I only caught sight of her when I happened to look up at the ceiling. With my newfound vampire sight I could see through the darkness up in the rafters, and lo and behold there was Tracy, hiding away where no one else would notice her. I could still only see the space around her eyes, but she seemed to be a little afraid of being so high up.

"AHHHHH-CHHHIIIOOOOOOO!!!"

Liz suddenly sneezed herself awake, and the loud sound startled a jump out of each of us. Tracy wobbled on her perch, and then I suppose she decided it was time to come down again. She dropped from the rafters and landed completely silently. I guess her ninja costume was affecting her the same way as the rest of ours were.

"So, just to recap," Andy resumed. "Apparently all of our costumes are real now, and Phil may or may not be some kind of tentacle monster. What? What?"

Before any of us could offer an explanation, my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. We all stood in stunned silence for a second before I fished it out. It was another call from an unrecognized number, but it was the same unrecognized number as before. I suppose I was willing to go on a little faith, so I answered it and held it to my ear.

"Who is this?" I asked, my voice deeper and slower than I was used to. My damn vampire voice was still creeping me out.

"Hello? Yes. This is Mandy, from the science club," said a crackly voice. Between the intermittent static I could recognize that it was, in fact, Mandy from the science club.

"Mandy? Vhat's going on? Do you know anything about this?"

"Yes, we need to talk," she said, not that she ever sounded any less urgent. "Come down to the basement."

"Vhat? Vhy are you in the basement?"

"It's a long story. Your wonderful host kidnapped me a week ago and I've been down here ever since. I had to fashion a cellular transmitter out of various pieces of household clutter. I'm just glad I was able to sign this coat hanger up as a guest on your carrier plan. Whatever, there's no time for that. Just come down to the basement and I'll explain."

"Okay, fine. But how do ve even get to the basement? Vhere is it?"

"I don't know," Mandy answered, making my heart sink even more. "You're going to have to find it on your own. Oh! Before you go, I need you to bring me some more supplies. I'm running out of stuff down here."

"Like vhat? Vhat are you even doing?"

"Don't ask questions! Just bring what I tell you to! I just need as many metal forks as you can get from the kitchen or dining room or wherever. Got that?"

"Yes," I groaned, knowing better than to question her at this point. "Anything else?"

"Yes, actually. I need four cuddly pillows and one snuggly pillow."

What does that even mean? I had to sit and process this one for a second.

"Vhat? Vhat's the difference betveen a cuddly pillow and a snuggly pillow?"

"Oh my god, I can't believe you just asked me that! That's so unscientific of you! Just find them, will you!?"

Before I could ask any more questions, Mandy hung up on me. I hung my head and sighed, and then I did my best to relay the plan to the others. They seemed to be about as confused as I was. This was going to be a long day.

"Can Mandy really help us?" Liz asked, holding a tissue to her nose. The rest of us shrugged.

"Ve can't say for sure," I said, deciding to at least tell the truth if I couldn't be comforting. "But if I know Mandy, she's crazy enough to handle something like this. I just can't help but vonder if she's also behind it somehow."

"So, where's the kitchen at?" asked Andy, uselessly raising his arms for a moment.

"It would make sense to be on the first floor, oui?" responded Charlie, folding her arms. That sounded reasonable to the rest of us, so we made our way to the closest door. Turning himself sideways, Andy managed to pull it open but there was still no way he'd fit through unassisted. Despite the obviousness of that fact, he tried to go through first anyway.

"Shit, I'm stuck again," he said flatly, lazily waving his arms up and down. I pushed against him for a moment, but Charlie quickly moved me out of the way and shoved Andy with all her might. He burst through the doorway and fell onto his side, the momentum causing him to roll around in an uneven circle.

"Help," he grunted anticlimactically. "I've fallen and I can't get up. Save me, Charles."

Charlie ignored Andy as she stepped into the room. It appeared to be a sizeable living room, complete with several sofas and a fireplace at the far end. I simply saw it as a place to get the pillows Mandy wanted, but Charlie seemed to be mesmerized by it. She stepped into the center of the room and turned in a slow circle, surveying every nook and cranny. Then, she ran over to a set of drawers along the left-hand wall.

"Quickly, I require a plumeau!" she exclaimed, frantically digging through the drawers.

"A what?" asked Andy, still rolling around on the floor.

"Plumeau! A feather duster!" Charlie repeated. Once she reached the bottom drawer, she found what she was looking for and sprung back to her feet. She held the feather duster aloft like she thought we actually cared, looking plenty proud of herself. At the same time I was a little curious why she cared herself at all. The costume must have been getting to her head.

"This room is so dusty! I must tidy up!" proclaimed Charlie, quickly walking to the coffee table in the center of the room. It didn't look too dusty, but I turned to Tracy for quick reference. Her eyes were fluttering, and sure enough, she sneezed a moment later.

"Hih-CH!"

Apparently not even her ninja skills could silence her sneezes. She rubbed a finger back and forth under her nose, the mask acting as a barrier between her hand and her nostrils, and then she sneezed again as Charlie began to meticulously dust everything in reach.

"Hihh-! Hih-CHH!"

"Want your tissues back?" asked Liz, placing a hand on Tracy's shoulder. Keeping a finger under her nose, Tracy shook her head. Still, Liz did her best to be helpful and walked Tracy toward the next door, leading off to god knows where.

"You know, I think you're kicking up more dust than you're cleaning," Andy groaned, doing his best to shrug. I could tell he'd completely given up on trying to stand again, so I made my way over to him and pulled him back to his feet.

"Tais-toi!" Charlie snapped. "I am a professional!"

Despite her words, I could tell her efforts were only kicking up a huge cloud of dust, threatening to engulf her. Maybe I could only see it because of my vampire sight, or maybe she just really sucked. Sure enough, Charlie quickly stopped dusting and began to wave a hand up and down in front of her face.

"Ah... Ahh... Ahhh..." she gasped, much breathier and higher-pitched than ever before. Her head tipped back with each hitch, and then she suddenly bent forward with a loud "ATCHOUM!"

Tracy and Liz had already made their way into the next room, so only Andy and I remained to witness Charlie's remarkably French sneeze. She daintily rubbed a finger under her wide nose, oblivious to how out of character her behavior was.

"Excusez-moi!" gasped Charlie, giving her finger one last swipe across the underside of her nose. "That took me by surprise!"

"Who are you and what have you done with Charles?" mumbled Andy, raising his eyebrows in bewilderment. He turned to me, an expression of panic creeping across his face.

"I'm serious, man! This is freaking me out! She's almost... Cute!"

He had a point. Under less dire circumstances I'd suggest we videotape this entire event and use it to blackmail her for the rest of eternity, but we didn't have time for that right now. Eventually we managed to convince her the room was tidy enough, and we realized we could make her carry the pillows to keep her from trying to clean anything else. After all, maids do stuff like carrying pillows, right?

The door Liz and Tracy had taken led to a hallway rather than the kitchen, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be as easy to find as we'd hoped. Still, this was stupid. If our luck continued like this, we'd be stuck wandering this mansion for an entire day before we could find just one god damn room. The door at the end of the hallway opened to a large bedroom, and Tracy had to restrain Charlie to keep her from trying to dust it. I was about to turn us around and head back the way we came when I noticed someone staring back at me from the mirror on the far wall.

Taking a step into the room, I noticed it was Phil, his face frozen in that inhuman expression of rage. I approached the mirror and folded my arms, trying as hard as I could not to look afraid. To be perfectly honest, Phil was probably the scariest thing I'd ever seen in my entire life, if only for that creepy-ass face of his, but like hell I was going to let him know that.

"Come to reconsider?" he asked, his voice low and guttural. I smirked, shaking my head.

"There's something you should know about us," I replied, glancing back at my compatriots with a smile. "Ve never learn from our mistakes. It's vhat makes us interesting."

Phil's contorted face softened from a scowl into a smile, but it was still no less disturbing. He chuckled to himself and ran a hand through his hair before responding.

"What a shame. There was so much we could have done together. So much I could have shown you."

"And that's it?" I asked. "Either you join our club or you kill us?"

"Not exactly."

The mirror dissolved into a gaping pit of pure darkness. I backed away, fairly confident I knew what was about to happen. Just as I expected, a mass of black-green tentacles burst from the opening and began to fill the bedroom. Andy seemed to have given up on going through doorways first, so he was technically back out in the hall. Still, he was doing no less spectacular a job of blocking everyone's way. I'm sure Charlie would have shoved him, but she had the pillows to look after.

Instead, I decided to take over shoving duties myself. I spun him around and pushed as quickly as I could, but we were still moving too slow. One of the tentacles lashed out toward Liz, but in one swift movement, Tracy drew the katana from her back, sliced the tip of the tendril clean off, and then sheathed her weapon again. Knowing she could damage them brought me some tiny glimmer of hope, but there were just too many of the things coming after us for her to handle alone.

Deciding it would be foolish to stand and fight, we continued on, running down the hall and back through the living room into the entryway. From there, we sprinted to the first unblocked door we saw, and we were all immensely relieved to discover it opened to a downward staircase. Sensing the gravity of the situation, Andy stepped sideways to let everyone else go first before attempting to wedge himself through the doorway. Naturally he still got stuck, but I managed to pull him through.

I wasn't even sure if the tentacles were still following us as we ran down the stairs. I didn't know about the rest of the club, but I was fine with not knowing. At the bottom of the stairs was a massive metal door that clashed with everything else we'd seen in the mansion so far. If that wasn't enough of a sign that it didn't belong, a gigantic M was emblazoned in the center in purple paint, surrounded by a ring of the same color.

"Look at this insignia!" shouted Andy from behind us. "It's an M!"

"Yes, I can see that!" I yelled back, starting to pound on the door. "Mandy, open up! It's us!"

A slot between the top of the M and the surrounding ring slid open, revealing Mandy's wild eyes on the other side. She quickly looked us over before returning her eye contact to me.

"What's the password?"

What password? You never said anything about a god damn password!

"WE! ARE GOING! TO DIE!" I shrieked, putting on my best desperate sad face. From what little of her I could see, I could tell Mandy shrugged in vague approval before unlocking the door. We fell through the opening, piling on top of each other on the other side. Mandy quickly shut the door behind us and then returned to her ramshackle desk chair.

"Thanks," I groaned, lacking the energy to stand. Eventually I forced myself back to my feet, and I saw that Mandy had fashioned quite the laboratory for herself out of the so-called household clutter. She even appeared to have an analog computer at her desk, complete with a monochrome CRT display.

"AAAHHHH-CHHIIIOOOOOO!!!"

Liz let out a huge sneeze, causing the pile of people behind me to explode. Tracy leapt across the room in the blink of an eye while Charlie gathered up her pillows and stepped up next to me. Unable to stand on his own, Andy remained on his side, weighed down by the giant pumpkin.

"Sorry," whimpered Liz, sniffing wetly. "All this stress is mbaking mby cold eved worse. I have a fever and I'mb all stuffed up."

"I can take care of that for you," said Mandy, holding up a pointer finger. "I can accelerate the viral growth so it'll burn itself out in a matter of hours. I'll have to put you to sleep, though. And if you wake up in the middle of it, that cold's going to hit you like a freight train, so..."

"Mandy," I interrupted, running low on patience. "I think ve have bigger problems to attend to."

"So we do," Mandy conceded, scooting her chair closer to Charlie and I. "Did you bring what I asked for?"

"Only the pillows," Charlie confessed, holding them out to Mandy. Our scientific friend accepted them graciously and placed them on the floor beside her desk.

"That's fine, the pillows were more urgent," she said, arranging them on the ground.

"Vhat do you need them for?" I asked, watching Mandy work. This being Mandy, I wouldn't be surprised if she could do something incredible with them. She laid out four of the pillows in a row, the "cuddly" ones, I assumed. Next she placed the fifth "snuggly" pillow on the end. Then, she simply laid down on them, placing her head on the stacked cushions.

"Nap time."

"QUOI!?" Charlie bellowed, stomping a foot on the floor. It was good to know the real her was still in there somewhere. Mandy snored a grand total of three times before suddenly standing up and returning to her chair.

"Power nap," she clarified, tucking a lock of messy hair behind her ear. "I needed that. I would have been doing science this whole time, except I had nowhere to sleep."

"What the hell do you call all of this, then?" Andy asked, gesturing to the entire room. Mandy smirked proudly, slouching in her chair.

"Practice."

"So, vhat's the story?" I asked, trying to get back to the task at hand. Before Mandy could explain anything, Charlie began to bounce up and down beside me, raising one hand.

"Ouh! Might I take this time to tidy your workspace?" she asked, holding up her feather duster in her free hand. Mandy shrugged.

"Dust all you want," she answered, "just don't... Organize anything."

Mandy spoke that particular word with complete and utter disgust. She even stuck out her tongue afterward like it left a bad taste in her mouth. After shaking her head, she turned back to me and sighed.

"There are many extraordinary people in this world," Mandy began, staring wistfully into space. "I would explain how I am one of them, but I am confident in my genius and I do not require your acknowledgement. This Mister Phil Howard, however, is a different brand of extraordinary altogether. At first glance, he appears to be nothing but an ordinary boy with an ordinary, albeit wealthy, family. But, given what you've seen, I doubt I need to tell you that isn't the case."

"Hih-CHH! Hih-Hih... Hihh-CH!"

The dusty laboratory air drew a few sneezes out of Tracy. They were as soft as always, but they still managed to interrupt Mandy's story. If only due to Charlie's reaction, that is.

"Do not worry, mon amie! I shall cleanse this dust before it can... Cah... Ahh... Ahhh... ATCHOUM!"

"As I was saying," Mandy resumed after clearing her throat, "the first clue to Mister Howard's story was his complete lack of a family. There isn't even a butler here to keep track of the place. It's just this Phil living by himself, and yet nobody's ever noticed until now. Still, that's not all that strange by itself."

"Was the second clue the mother-freaking tentacles?" asked Andy.

"As a matter of fact, it was. When he first brought me here, he made no effort to conceal his abilities. In all my years as scientist, I've never seen anything like this before. These powers, combined with my third clue, has led me to the conclusion that Phil Howard is a 12th dimensional being who wishes to construct a portal that will allow him to return to his home plane of existence and bring The Adventure Club with him, whether willingly or by force."

"How can you be so sure about that last part?" I asked, putting on a ridiculous shrug. Accustomed to weirdness as we were, this was still a lot to take in.

"Because he asked me to do it for him," Mandy answered tersely. I felt a pit form in my stomach. What on earth could Phil possibly have done to force Mandy to construct something so diabolical?

"How did he make you do it? If you don't mind recalling it, that is."

"He didn't force me," Mandy replied, closing her eyes and smiling. "He just gave me the opportunity to try something truly extraordinary. If you were a true scientist, I know you'd understand."

I clenched my fists, taking a sudden deep breath. I had half a mind to beat Mandy senseless for just going along with it, but I managed to control myself. She was probably the only chance we had at getting out of this alive, and for whatever reason she actually seemed willing to help us.

"So you had a change of heart and you're going to betray him and help us destroy something so evil that it never should have been made?" asked Andy.

"Oh, I'm totally going to build another one next week," Mandy laughed, tipping her head back. After giggling for a second she straightened up and looked me in the eye.

"But I've learned better than to get in the way of The Adventure Club. You people are like the oncoming storm. It's not good for my scientific endeavors to oppose you."

"If that is the case, how do ve stop it?" I asked, folding my arms with a frown. Mandy tapped her chin and spun around in her chair.

"Well, the portal is tied directly to your costumes..."

"Costumes? How?" asked Charlie, still furiously dusting the far corner of the room.

"Is that what's mbaking us..." Liz spoke up, stopping to sniff damply soon after she began, "mbaking our costubes cobe to life?"

"It's the other way around, actually," Mandy explained. "A portal of this nature required an unorthodox energy source, and, well... Pop culture is a powerful thing."

Turning her chair to the side, Mandy gestured to a strange device beside her desk. It appeared to be assembled from nothing more than a fan and over a dozen coat hangers. Seriously, how many god damn coat hangers was Phil keeping in his basement? Nearly every single one of Mandy's wacky inventions were made out of them. Whatever, I had no hope of figuring these things out anyway.

"In layman's terms, this device projects a field throughout the mansion that bestows the fictitious abilities of any outfit upon the wearer. From there, it siphons off your emotional investment in the costume and, in turn, powers the portal."

"So just turn it off!" I bellowed, taking a step toward the pop culture device. Mandy held up a hand to stop me, frowning gravely.

"You don't think I already thought of that?" she shot back. "Besides, it's too late now. Now that the portal exists in both this dimension and the 12th, it's self-sustaining."

"Vell, can't you turn it off anyvay? Just to get us back to normal?" I asked, starting to calm down.

"I could, but..." Mandy trailed off, and then she gestured to Tracy.

"Tracy will lose her ninjutsu skills."

Tracy merely sneezed in response.

"Hih-CHH!"

"Liz won't be able to cast spells."

"I'mb... Ahhh... AAHHHH-CHHIIIOOOOO!!! I'mb too sick to cast sbells," Liz whined, fumbling with a fresh tissue and then forcing out a deafening nose blow.

"And, most importantly, we need that one," Mandy concluded, pointing across the room. We all turned to follow her finger, exactly zero of us expecting her to be pointing at Andy. Upon realizing this, he held his forearms up as high as he could and cheered.

"Woo hoo! I'm useful! Suck it, naysayers!"

"Him!? Vhat the hell could you possibly need him for?" I stammered. Mandy smiled, twiddling her fingers.

"You're familiar with potato batteries?"

"Of course."

"Well, I was expelled from MIT for creating a potato bomb in an undergrad biology lab. That and they found out I never actually went to high school first. That would have only stunted my scientific growth. In either case, they didn't understand my vision. Anyway, I recently devised a way to construct an even more catastrophic device using a pumpkin in place of a potato, and one of such size will only increase the yield."

"That's what she said~!"

Mandy leaned back in her chair, touching the tips of her fingers together. An evil smirk spread across her face. On the one hand I was disturbed, but on the other I knew that meant she had the utmost confidence in this plan.

"If my calculations are correct, detonating it on the far side of the portal will close it permanently. That's what I needed all those forks for. If this is going to work, you're going to need to go back out there and get some."

"Vell, that doesn't sound too hard," I shrugged. Against all odds I actually felt kind of relieved. Mandy chuckled and slid up next to her computer.

"Don't be so quick to celebrate. Based on my observations, you five aren't the only costumed crusaders in here."

That sent a chill up my spine. I don't know what was worse. The fact that there were more people around the mansion, or the fact that we hadn't seen so much as a single trace of them so far. Mandy gestured to her computer monitor, which displayed only a mess of static.

"Looks like there's three more. I'd watch out for them."

"How the hell can you even read that?"

"Just take my word for it, okay?"

-----

And so concludes this week's installment. Be sure to tune in again next Thursday for the continuation! As always, any feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated, be it criticism or random collections of words that convey no particular meaning. See you on the 23rd!

[Chanel_no5]

A conveniently placed decorative mirror hung above a small table, and I tried to take a look at my reflection. What I saw was downright terrifying. My skin was white as the driven snow, and my eyes were blood-red. I thought I could even see little fangs... Actually I just made all that up. I couldn't see anything in the mirror because apparently I was actually a god damn vampire!

Seriously, dude!! As long as I'm around, someone will always laugh at your jokes! And potato BOMB?! Awesome!

This is so creative and so much fun, I love it!

[SneezeloveronGirls]

Mandy is funny. I half-expect her to try to use Liz's sneezes as a power source or for her to experiment on Liz to see if Mandy can make a giant germ using Liz's cold germs or even make Liz's sneezes even more powerful.

[BikermousefromMars]

i don't mind Liz not being in the club i've read the series since it's start, i've just been too shy to comment lol xD (i don't come here that often)

i second Liz being used as a power source

[Snz.]

I love the fact that Charlie became a French maid, and now Andy -is- actually useful after all! "Suck it naysayers!" haha I love your humor man.

[Skyler]

Wow! I look forward to the next update!

[Curiosity234]

This is so fantastic. Hah.

[Blah!?]

@Chanel: Potato bombs, man. Potato bombs. And it's always good to know my creativity is appreciated.

@SneezeloveronGirls & BikermousefromMars: I must say I'm intrigued by the idea of using Liz's big sneeze as a power source, or really as any kind of plot device. In this case, I've actually pre-written all four parts of this story, so unfortunately it wasn't meant to be this time. I will, however, keep it in mind for the future.

@MisterSneeze: Yeah, I've been wanting to use the "halloween costumes become real" gimmick for a loooong time now. I think I first came up with the idea a few years before The Adventure Club ever got started. I'm really just glad I finally found a place for it.

@SkylerSneeze & Curiosity234: Thanks for the interest! I hope this next part continues to hold your enthusiasm!

So, things are starting to heat up now. Let's get on with it, shall we?

-----

Having a clear goal in mind was a nice change of pace. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized we still had very little idea what was going on. Mandy hadn't told us where this portal of hers was, which meant to me that she probably didn't know. Then again, I remembered seeing Phil disappear into that door at the top of the staircase. If we were lucky, maybe the portal was just in there.

Despite the urgency of the situation, we took a few moments to rest. We at least thought we'd be safe inside Mandy's little hideout, so we decided to make use of the shelter while we could. Charlie barely looked like she needed any rest at all: she was still busy dusting every inch of the place. Tracy was stoic as ever, even more so due to her ninja outfit. And Andy... Well, he was still just his usual useless self.

Liz, on the other hand, wasn't doing so well. She sat down on the arrangement of pillows on the floor, sniffling miserably into what looked to be her last tissue. Mandy placed a hand on Liz's forehead to take her temperature, and then she returned to her makeshift computer to run some calculations.

"Fever... Sinus congestion... Guys, I think Liz is down for the count. You four are on your own," said Mandy, turning around to face us. Liz suddenly perked up a bit, putting on a determined expression.

"Doe! I'mb okay! I want to help... AAHHHH-CHHHIIOOOOOO!!!"

Liz sneezed so hard that her witch's hat slipped down over her eyes. She wobbled for a second before finally falling onto her side, but luckily she was already on top of the pillows. Tucking her feather duster into the back of her apron, Charlie smiled and knelt down beside our bedridden friend. She took Liz gently by the wrist and helped her raise her last tissue up to her face.

"Allez, mouche!" Charlie instructed in a surprisingly gentle tone. I could only guess as to what she said, but Liz seemed to understand. She took a deep breath through her mouth and then blew her nose into the tissue. Then, Liz lifted her hat and gave weak smile.

"Thadks, Charlie," she sniffled, "but dow I'mb all out of tissues."

"Ne t'en fais pas, I will bring you some more," Charlie reassured, giving a little bow. She turned back to me and smiled. "We will be back soon, oui?"

"Assuming everything goes according to plan," I answered with a shrug. Andy snorted in dispute.

"Yeah, but what we plan and what actually happens aren't ever exactly the same thing," he said, attempting to roll himself back up to his feet. After a moment of struggling he actually succeeded, surprising the rest of us. I looked to the corner where Tracy had been sitting before, but she had vanished when I wasn't looking. When I turned back, however, she was suddenly right in front of me.

"Jesus!" I gasped, flinching in shock. "How did you..." I stopped when I realized the answer was obvious. At least now everyone was accounted for.

"Alright, ve vill be back as soon as ve can," I said, nodding to Liz and Mandy. Liz appeared to have fallen asleep already, but Mandy nodded back. I opened the slot in the door just to make sure it was safe on the other side, and once I was sure it was clear, we headed out and made our way back up the stairs to the entryway. Everything was going smoothly so far, but I think we all knew it wouldn't last.

"Konnichiwa, Adventure Club!" said a familiar voice from above. I turned around to face the top of the master staircase to find none other than Hal from the cosplay club standing on the highest step. It was easy to guess what his costume was meant to be: between the brown trench coat, wide-brimmed hat and fancy crossbow, he was obviously a vampire hunter. Since Mandy's plan was counting on Andy being a pumpkin, I wonder if she and Phil knew what everyone was going to be beforehand. Given the nature of my costume, Hal's seemed a little too convenient.

"Go avay, Hal," I groaned. I wasn't sure why I wanted to piss him off so badly, but I did it anyway. "Ve're a bit busy at the moment."

"Don't you dare ignore me, baka!" Hal cried, pointing his crossbow straight at me. "I will never forgive you for the way you humiliated me during Club Wars, and now I shall exact my revenge!"

"Vhat are you even talking about?"

"Urusai!" Hal screamed, throwing back his head and bellowing up at the ceiling. "You stole our costumes because you knew we would beat you!"

None of us had any involvement in that, and we didn't feel a need to prove it to him. Assuming he would still be just as harmless as ever, all four of us extended our middle fingers and attempted to continue on our way. Just then, however, I could feel my ears perk up as I detected the very subtle sound of Hal pulling the trigger on his crossbow. I guess I must have had some kind of crazy vampire reflexes or something, because everything seemed to move in slow motion as I turned around to see a bolt flying straight at me.

Suddenly, a line of silver flashed out of the corner of my eye as Tracy swatted the crossbow bolt out of the air with her katana. I had no way of knowing if ninja reflexes were faster than vampire reflexes, but Tracy was certainly making better use of hers.

"Go on!" shouted Andy, positioning himself between Hal and I. "Go get those forks! We can take this weeaboo!"

Part of me wanted to protest, not wanting to leave Tracy alone with a maniac and Hal, but I quickly realized it would probably be smart if I didn't fight the guy with the crossbow. After all, I barely knew the extent of my vampire strengths, let alone weaknesses. Before turning toward the nearest doorway we hadn't tried yet, I watched Tracy pull a throwing knife from her sash and hurl it at Hal. I could tell it was going to miss the instant it left her hand: Tracy seemed to have no trouble hitting things up close, but at longer range she was going to be useless without her glasses.

"Tracy! Put your gla-" I shouted, but Charlie suddenly grabbed me and yanked me toward the door.

"They will be fine!" she said, glancing back at me. "Hal est un imbécile, they can handle him!"

We were already at the door, so I figured there was no point in making excuses. Charlie went through first, but she pulled me before I could see too much of the ongoing fight. Tracy ran up the banister and swung her sword at Hal's head, but he leapt down to the first floor in time to dodge it. Andy was doing a great job as scenery.

When I turned back to Charlie, I saw that she had folded her arms and was hugging them to her chest as tightly as she could. After looking around the room for a second, I quickly realized why. We found ourselves in another simple hallway, but this one was in a greater state of disrepair than anywhere we'd seen in the house before.

"Charlie, it's okay," I murmured, trying to keep her calm. "You don't have to clean everything."

"I do!" she whined, doubling over to keep her hands pinned to her chest. She fought hard to control herself, and before long we were making our way down the hall. Still, we didn't get halfway to the door at the far end before it started to open on its own. Not wanting to risk getting stuck in some kind of trap, Charlie and I darted into the nearest door on our right.

It was nothing more than a small storage closet, but at least we appeared to be alone. Not everything was all fine and dandy, however. This room was even dustier than the hallway, and Charlie was trembling furiously with the need to tidy up. She reached for her feather duster, but I was quick enough to snatch it away from her and roll it across the floor.

"Non!" Charlie yelped, but at least she managed to keep it to a whisper. I grabbed her wrists and held on tight, doing my best to keep her calm and quiet.

"It's fine," I breathed, "you can clean later. Just hold on for another minute."

"Non, you do not understand. This room is much too dusty. I am going to... I am going... Je vais éternuer!"

By the time I realized what Charlie was saying, it was too late to do anything about it. Her head was hung back and her nostrils flared wildly as she sucked in a series of hitching breaths.

"Ah... Ahh... Ahhh... ATCHOUM!"

Charlie let out a loud, high-pitched sneeze, right in my face, I might add. We both held our breath for the next few seconds, but the hallway outside seemed completely silent even with my vampire hearing, assuming I had such a thing. Seriously, I still don't even know.

"Excusez-moi," Charlie breathed, giving her nose a dainty rub. Deciding we were safe, I let her retrieve her feather duster under the condition that she not use it until we found the kitchen. With great difficulty she managed to agree to those terms, and we continued back down the hall.

"Vell, imagine that," I mused, opening the door at the end of the hall to discover that it was, in fact, the kitchen. It was surprisingly clean. So clean, in fact, that Charlie seemed a bit disappointed that she had little reason to tidy up. Still, she made her way to the nearest counter and dejectedly waved her feather duster around on top of it.

I jogged over to the first set of drawers I could find, tearing them open in search of metal forks. It wasn't long before I found some, but they burned my skin when I tried to pick them up.

"Shit!" I yelped, getting Charlie's attention. She ran over to me and peered into the drawer.

"Must be silver," I said, glancing at Charlie. "You're going to have to carry them."

"Pas de problème," she said with a nod, reaching into the drawer. Before Charlie could pick up even a single fork, however, we heard the door open and close again. We turned to see someone we didn't entirely expect, but given everything else that had happened so far, I suppose the joke was on us.

"That's far enough, you two," sneered Olivia, head honcho of the cheerleading club. She was trying to give us an intimidating death glare, but both Charlie and I started to crack up when we noticed what she was dressed as.

"You could have dressed as anything you vanted," I said, starting to laugh. "Unlimited cosmic power from vhichever costume you choose. And you dressed up as a cheerleader."

Olivia's face turned bright red and she scowled so intensely she looked like she might never be able to stop. She slammed a foot on the floor like a pouting child and waved her arms in the air.

"So what!? Cheerleaders are empowering!" she screeched, stomping her foot again.

"You're already a cheerleader! That costume is totally useless!" I continued, finally noticing something clutched in Olivia's right hand. It appeared to be a container of garlic powder. Despite the duration of my stint as a vampire, it still took me a moment to realize why she would have something like that.

"Shut up!" Olivia screamed, humiliated tears welling in her eyes. "I'll show you!"

She tore the top of the container off like it was a grenade, and then she hurled it right at me. I dove behind the nearest counter to avoid getting any of the garlic powder on me, but as I looked back, I saw the canister hit Charlie squarely in the face. She waved her hands back and forth to clear away the initial cloud, but even after it dissipated her nose was still caked in the off-white powder.

"Ah... Ahh... Ahhh... ATCHOUM!" Charlie sneezed, blowing a puff of garlic out her nostrils. She waved her hands in front of her face again, helpless to react as Olivia approached.

"Now I can take care of both of you, once and for all!" Olivia proclaimed, grabbing a knife from the open drawer. She raised it above her head, but at the same time, Charlie threw back her head in anticipation of another sneeze.

"Ah... Ahh... Ahhh... Ahhhh! ATCHOOOUUM!"

Charlie's second sneeze was so huge that it bent her forward far enough to headbutt Olivia right in the face. The cheerleader let out a pathetic yelp as she landed in a crumpled heap on the tiled floor. After Olivia stayed down for a few seconds, I got back on my feet and cautiously approached. Leaning over the counter, I couldn't help but let out a laugh when I saw this wasn't the first time Charlie had given Olivia a black eye and knocked her out cold in one blow.

"You okay?" I asked, turning to Charlie. She had been rubbing her nose continuously since that last sneeze, and slamming her head against another person's didn't seem to have affected her at all.

"Ugh, mon nez! Ah... Ahh... Ahhh... ATCHOUM!"

I backed away to keep Charlie from sneezing any garlic on me, but after that she seemed to recover. She plucked a cloth napkin from the drawer beside the cutlery and wiped off her nose, and then she dug it into her nostrils one at a time in an attempt to clean out whatever powder was left inside.

"Alright, you good to take those forks back to Mandy?" I asked, bending over to catch my breath. Charlie nodded and then raised an eyebrow.

"Oui, but what are you going to do?" she asked in reply, scooping out as many forks as she could at once. I shrugged and then gestured to a second door in the far wall, one that we hadn't seen the other side of yet.

"I'm going to try to find that portal. Ve can't blow it up if ve can't find it."

"Should you not wait for the others?" asked Charlie, raising a good point. That probably would have been wise, but I really didn't know how much time we had left. Before I could give an answer, the door I had planned on going through burst open revealing Hal and Tracy on the far side with Andy rounding a corner in the hallway behind them.

"Shimatta!" Hal wailed, immediately raising his crossbow and pointing it at me. Tracy punched him in the back of the head just as he fired, causing the bolt to harmlessly embed itself in the ceiling.

"Itai!" Hal cried out, swinging his offhand around to at least get Tracy away from him. She somersaulted backward and flung one of her last throwing knives at him. They had been useless before, but now that Tracy had him in close quarters, her lack of eyeglasses was irrelevant. The knife cut clean through the crossbow's string, rendering the weapon useless.

Hal held his damaged crossbow like a club, still fully intent on fighting to the last breath. Tracy held her katana in her right hand and drew her last throwing knife with her left. She flipped it into a reverse grip, intending to use it as an offhand dagger, but the battle was over before either of them could make another move.

"Pumpkin Final SMASH!" bellowed Andy, charging through the open door. The front end of his pumpkin shell slammed into Hal and carried him halfway across the kitchen before sandwiching him up against the counter I had been leaning against not ten seconds ago. That clearly knocked the wind out of him, but he wasn't done quite yet.

"No!" Hal choked, shakily forcing himself up to his feet. "I will not be beaten by some lowly gourd! GET OUT OF MY WA-"

Before Hal could even finish his threat, Andy simply kicked him in his gentleman's area. Hal's eyes seemed to roll in opposite directions as he keeled over like a rotten log. The four of us gathered around our victims, both unconscious and drooling on the floor.

"Fancy meeting you folks here," said Andy, grinning at Charlie and I. "Somehow I knew Olivia was going to be one of these people. And she seriously just dressed as a cheerleader? Isn't that, like, completely pointless? If I knew our costumes were going to give us powers, there's no way I would have come as a pumpkin."

Charlie groaned, rolling her eyes. She put one hand on her hip and rubbed her nose with the other.

"Arrête tes mensonges! We all know you would have."

Andy shook his head at her, but then he just turned to me and nodded. I rolled my eyes, annoyed but glad to be in familiar company at least. After clearing my throat, I gestured to Andy's pumpkin and Charlie's bundle of forks.

"Vhy don't you two head back to Mandy's lab? The sooner she can get started, the better. Tracy and I vill look for the portal."

"Sounds like a plan," said Andy, snapping a finger at me. "Are you two going to be okay on your own?"

I glanced at Tracy to make sure she was on board with this, and I was a little surprised to find her avoiding eye contact with me. Still, she raised no complaint. I turned back to Andy and Charlie, giving them a silent nod. That was all they needed from me, and we returned to the entryway together before separating. As Andy and Charlie descended to the hideout, Tracy and I went up instead.

"I don't know if ve should try that first door," I said, biting my lip as best I could with my fangs. I'd gotten used to them remarkably quickly, but they were still a bit awkward at times. Tracy shrugged in regards to the door. Based on that, I could tell that we were both a little afraid of actually finding the portal even though that's what we'd set out to do. Anyway, since we agreed to leave the first door for now, we made our way to the end of the balcony and tried the door on the far side first.

"Another hallvay, vhat a surprise," I groaned after opening the door. I looked back at Tracy, who only shrugged again. Having nothing better to do in the meantime, we stepped through the door and started making our way down the hall.

"So," I began awkwardly, unable to bring myself to look at my companion. "Vhy don't you vant to vear your glasses so badly?"

I managed to force myself to give Tracy a quick glance only to find that she was looking away from me too. I felt my foot stick on the carpet and I nearly tripped, but I threw one arm out toward the wall and I managed to steady myself. The surface under my hand felt much too cold and smooth to be the same wallpaper as the rest of the hallway, and when I looked over at it I nearly screamed. I swear it wasn't there before, but my hand was pressed against a mirror set into the wall. Just like in the bedroom, Phil's face floated in the center, creepy-ass grin and all.

"Be careful," Phil's voice boomed. It seemed to echo itself in a minor key, which only scared me even more. I couldn't stop myself from letting out a yelp as I jumped back, running into Tracy. She wiggled her way out from between the wall and my back, but I could tell she was just as scared as I was when she looked in that mirror.

"I'm always watching."

Phil's evil scowl became a maniacal grin for a split second before his visage disappeared from the mirror. I heard Tracy let out a sigh, making me realize I'd been holding my breath. I released it slowly, but just as we started to relax, a huge tentacle suddenly burst through the ground between us, shattering the floorboards.

Tracy and I fell straight down into the room below, landing on a pile of rubble and splintered wood. I felt fine, likely due to my vampire resilience, but Tracy wasn't so lucky. It looked like she'd hit her head on a cinderblock in the rubble, knocking her out on the spot.

"Tracy! Tracy, are you alright?" I asked desperately, attempting to peel away her hood and mask. After pulling her costume's hood down, I ripped the mask clean off to expose her neck. I was probably overreacting, we'd been through worse than this, but I just had to make sure she was okay. Check her breathing or pulse or something. I placed two fingers on the side of her throat, and after a moment more of holding my breath, I felt her heartbeat.

I was simultaneously relieved and terrified. Relieved that Tracy was okay, but terrified that I felt like I wasn't in control of myself anymore. Ever since our costumes became real, I'd been at least a little afraid that this was going to happen, but now it was, and the timing couldn't be worse. I felt overwhelmed by an insatiable thirst, and before I knew it, my face was mere inches from Tracy's neck.

"No!" I pleaded with myself as I felt my mouth starting to open. "Stop! Right now!"

I felt my teeth inch ever closer, and for a split second, I thought maybe I wanted this. Luckily it was only for an instant. Any longer and maybe it would have convinced me. As it was, I could tell my mental battle was the only reason I hadn't bitten into Tracy's neck yet. Luckily, by now she was starting to come to, and she seemed to have everything under control.

"Hih... Hih-CHH!"

The light mist of Tracy's sneeze hitting the side of my face was enough of a shock for me to pull away. The temptation was still there, however, so I knew I had to go farther. Without even knowing what I was doing, I felt my body separate into a swarming cloud of bats. I could still sense my arms and legs and so on as if they were still there, and it was as if my consciousness was simply controlling the bats like some sort of game. It was remarkably easy, and it was just what I needed to get away. I flew backward as quickly as I could, disappearing into the shadows in the corner of the room.

"Hih! Hihh-CH! Hih-Hihh-Hihhh... Hih-CHH!"

Sneezing twice more, Tracy sat up slowly and rubbed her nose. She placed a hand on the side of her head and sighed. I could tell she was going to have a hell of a headache, maybe even a concussion, but at least it wasn't any worse than that. Tracy started looking around for me, but I did my best to stay hidden. I didn't want to leave her alone, but once I was sure she could handle herself, I was going to get as far away from her as I could. Maybe Mandy could do something to stop the thirst, but until then I couldn't be around Tracy or anyone else. It was just too much of a risk.

A few minutes of resting later, Tracy seemed like she had recovered as much as she would in the short term. I looked up at the ceiling, and to my dismay I saw that the hole we fell through had vanished. But, even if it had still been there, I wouldn't have had time to fly through it before the door at the far side of the room suddenly swung open.

"Tracy?" called a familiar voice from the doorway. Too familiar. Tracy and I both turned to focus on whoever it was, but I remained behind in the shadows. As the figure in the doorway stepped into the room, my vampire sight adjusted to the changing light levels and I realized why he sounded so familiar.

It was me. Not me in a vampire costume me, just regular old school uniform on a regular day me.

"T-Toby?" Tracy murmured, her voice as light and airy as ever. She took a step toward the other me, and that was my sign that I had to put a stop to this. Even if the thirst started to overtake me again, that was a risk I was willing to take at this point.

"Stop!" I called out, for once thankful for the sudden deep tone my voice had taken on. Tracy whirled back to me as I stepped out of the corner of the room, and the other me put on an amused smirk.

"Ah, this is going to be fun," he said, putting his hands in his pockets. Tracy took a small step toward me, but I forced myself to keep scowling, if only to be more intimidating.

"You can drop the act," I sneered, continuing toward the imposter. "You're making it pretty obvious vhich of us is the real one."

"Yes, you know who you are," the other me said, holding up his hands in mock resignation. "But you still have no idea who I am. And once I've dealt with you two, your friends will be none the wiser until it's much too late."

Who the hell was this guy? I mean, I was beginning to realize how this was possible. We became whatever our costumes were, and so far everyone else knew what was going on before we did. Based on that, I could only assume the other me was just someone who was wearing a costume of me, and when all of our outfits became real, he simply became a copy of me. But, he was right: I had no idea who he really was.

"So, the ball is in your court," he said, returning his hands to his pockets. "Can you really kill yourself? Or even just fight yourself?"

Running a hand through his hair, the other me took another step closer and turned to Tracy.

"And you. Can you bring yourself to do what's necessary? You already know I'm not really him, but just look at me. Look at my face, look into my eyes, and tell me you could kill me if you had to."

Tracy shied away, clearly feeling as unsure as I was. I paused, glancing back and forth between Tracy and my doppelganger, but he shortly made up my mind for me. He tipped back his head and laughed, and seeing his neck fully exposed like that made me realize what I needed to do.

I was upon him in the blink of an eye. Before the other me could move, I grabbed his arms and pinned them to his sides, and then I opened my mouth as wide as I could. I could feel my own breath reflect back at me off of his neck, and I could nearly taste the sweet sustenance. My jaw muscles relaxed for an instant, but before I could sink my fangs into the imposter's throat, I stopped.

He was right. I couldn't do it. I leaned away, slowly closing my mouth and hanging my head.

"Damn shame," he said, lifting his hands again. "I'll admit you actually scared me for a moment there. But that was your one chance, and you blew it."

"I can live vith that," I replied, raising my fists. I knew he was about to attack me, and even if I couldn't kill myself, I could at least defend myself. From myself. Whatever, you get the picture.

The other me sprang forward. Before I knew what was happening, he flung his right arm down and a silver stake shot out of his sleeve. He caught it in his hand and immediately plunged it into my chest. Well, this was just no fun. He missed my heart at least, otherwise I probably would have exploded or something, but it burned worse than any pain I'd ever felt before in my life. It only got worse when he suddenly grabbed the stake and tore it back out of me to try again.

"Damn, I missed," he grumbled, wiping the weapon clean. My vision was going dim, and I could tell that unless he finished me off in the next couple seconds, I was going to be unconscious for my final moments. The last thing I saw before passing out was the flash of one metal weapon hitting another.

-----

CLIFF HANGER. Sort of. Probably not entirely unpredictable. But that's all you get for now...

As always, thanks so much for reading! Tune in next week for the grand finale!

[Chanel_no5]

Oooh, this chapter was thrilling! How creepy with someone dressing up as you! And I loved the part where she sneezes garlic - quite a scare for a vampire...!

"Yeah, but what we plan and what actually happens aren't ever exactly the same thing,"

Story of my life, dude. Story of my life.

[Maus_17]

Oh my goodness! This was simply amazing- I love the unique plot.

[SneezeloveronGirls]

That was dumb of them to leave Liz with the Mad scientist Mandy.

[a red nine]

*shows up 15 days late with Starbucks*

No wonder I keep feeling like Halloween already happened. I already read this weeks ago! (Also my dash hasn't been posting halloween stuff as often so I haven't been in a spooky mood) But this story is enough to get me back in the seasonal spirit. Still, it's weird how long it's actually been since I read. I forgot how much I love their costume thing, particularly Andy's, but Charlie's is downright hilarious too. If I recall how the next chapter begins, I'm excited to reread the conclusion... Also I know you hinted that you want to do more with Mandy, but I second the motion now. She definitely has potential, should you ever want to give her more of the spotlight.

Also "Go avay, Hal" will always make me laugh?? AND THEN THE MIDDLE FINGERS THOSE BRATS

[Blah!?]

@Chanel: Originally I wanted to have that guy dress up as something really crazy, but I eventually decided I'd be doing myself and everyone who reads this story a disservice by not having someone dress up as one of the existing characters. It was a possibility that had to be explored.

@Maus_17: Thanks! I pride myself on my unique plots. Though they usually end up being downright insane plots...

@SneezeloveronGirls: When Mandy is involved, there is no dumb. Only scientific.

@a red nine: Better late than never. It's good to know I actually got a good halloween feel down. As for Mandy's future involvement in the series, I'm still interested but I'm not quite sure where I'll go with that. Only time will tell.

And so, the end begins. I'm glad so many people have enjoyed the first three parts of this story, and I hope the finale will leave you feeling satisfied. And now...

-----

My whole life flashed before my eyes. It really wasn't all that interesting. At least not until I met my friends who would one day become The Adventure Club, that is. Before that, we were all just four lost souls on the road to nothingness. But then, fate brought us together, and our lives were forever changed for the best. I don't really even believe in fate. I'm just calling it that because it's easier than trying to make up a new word for it.

Anyway, I hate to say it, but even David still didn't feel quite as much like family as the others. Of course, he was still a member of the club and one of our close friends, but I could tell that from now until the end of eternity, the true Adventure Club was going to be us four musketeers on a quest to do whatever the hell we wanted to. Maybe that's why Phil wanted us to join him so badly. Perhaps an eternity of being trapped away from the 12th dimension drove him to this murderous rage, and seeing our companionship made him believe we'd accept him too. Except for the part where he tried to kill us...

"That's crazy talk!" I slurred, suddenly awake again. I lifted my head and realized I was still in the same room, but the danger seemed to be gone. I didn't even feel cold anymore, and I certainly didn't have a gaping hole in my chest. Then again, the warmth may have had something to do with the fact that someone was laying on top of me.

"Tracy?" I whispered, trying to wake her up. She sniffed and rubbed her nose, her head shaking against my stomach. Rolling my eyes, I poked the top of her head, gently at first, but then more sharply. When Tracy still didn't react, I finally remembered how difficult it could be to rouse her.

Charlie had been friends with Tracy before either of them ever met the rest of us, and as such, she had a few tricks for waking Tracy up. The first was tickling her belly, but that required her midriff be bare, and the ninja costume wasn't having none of that. The other was a bit less pleasant. Charlie told me she'd only ever had to do it once, but she filled me in anyway just in case.

"Well, this isn't totally weird or anything," I mumbled, swiping the tip of my finger along the floor. After collecting a layer of dust, I reached my hand around to Tracy's face and smeared the dust across the underside of her nose. From there, I could feel her shoulders tense almost immediately.

"Hihh! Hih-CHH!"

Tracy sneezed herself awake and scooted away. Once her weight was gone from my stomach, I sat up and waited for her to regain her composure.

"Hihh-CH! Hih-Hih-Hihhh! CHHH! Hihh-CHH!"

"Bless you," I said, hoping she'd accept my peace offering. Covering her nose with her hands, Tracy glared at me over her fingertips. I opened my mouth to apologize, but before I could, she made a fist and punched me in the arm, twice as hard as she'd hit me before.

"Ow! I'm sorry!" I cried, feebly pushing myself away. Tracy raised her fist to punch me again, but her expression suddenly softened and she lunged forward, throwing her arms around me. I hugged her back as she pressed her face against my chest, both of us letting out a simultaneous sigh.

"Hey, I'm okay," I murmured, giving her a backrub. "Unless we're both dead now. That would suck a whole lot."

Tracy removed one arm from her hug and hit me again. It was playfully gentle, but my arm was already bruised so it still stung a little. We both laughed for a second, but then...

"Bonsoir."

"Jesus! Charlie!" I gasped, whirling around to find her sitting not five feet behind me. I was sure she'd been there the whole time, and thus heard and saw everything.

"Hey, we all got each other's backs, remember?" said yet another voice. Turning to my right, I saw Andy standing a little ways away. Over two dozen silver forks were sticking out of his pumpkin now, all connected to each other by, you guessed it, coat hangers. Andy's uncharacteristically on-point statement also made me realize something.

"So, uh, not to be a downer," I began, looking him over, "but we do have to blow that thing on the other side of the portal, right? You can't-"

"I'm going to take it," interjected Mandy, emerging from behind the pumpkin with the leftover forks in her hand. She also appeared to be wearing something big and bulky on her back, but I couldn't see what it was from here. Anyway, I could tell from her tone that she was dead serious.

"You know that's a one way trip, right?" I asked, just to make sure we were all really on the same page. Mandy nodded with a bittersweet smile.

"Yeah, I know. But I'm the only one of us with the mental fortitude to last more than an instant in the 12th dimension. You four would just end up with your brains melting out of your ears before you could do the deed. Besides, as a scientist I also like to fancy myself an explorer, and there's at least a little part of me that needs to know what it's like on the other side."

"Why can't we just send it through without anyone in it at all?" I proposed, letting my head fall back onto the floor.

"The pop culture device requires emotional investment, remember?" Mandy explained. "It would still be a costume if nobody was wearing it, but before long it'll just turn back into cardboard and paint. Somebody has to be in it."

"And who are we to stop you from saving the world?" Andy chuckled, turning his head to Mandy. "Hell, I volunteered to do it myself before all that mental fortitude shit came into play. We all have to die of something, and I'll be damned if I was going to pass up on the opportunity to do it for something cool."

I couldn't help but smile as I stood up. Somehow I actually believed him, no tricks. Once I was on my feet, I finally noticed something was very different. My stupid cape was gone, and this whole time I hadn't been talking in my dumb vampire accent. Looking down at myself, I saw that all of my clothes were completely different, though not entirely unfamiliar.

"Hey, what happened to the vampire getup?" I asked, holding up the tails of the brown trench coat I now found myself wearing.

"Simply put, you were going to die if we left you alone," said Mandy, "but I had a theory. Taking you out of that costume put you right back to how you were before any of this. No more stab wound, no more vampirism. It's as if the costume persona is a completely separate entity."

"So, what I'm wearing now," I groaned, looking down at my current clothes again. "Is this what I think it is?"

"It's Hal's vampire hunter outfit," Andy answered, waggling his eyebrows enthusiastically. Great, that's what I thought. I'd have to shower continuously for an entire day to get his weeaboo stink off of me. Hearing Tracy sniff and glancing over to find her with a finger under her nose didn't help the issue.

"Where the hell is he now?"

"Hog-tied and buck-ass nude," proclaimed Andy, sounding rather proud of himself. Not that I particularly wanted to see that, I couldn't help but smile at Hal's ultimate fate.

"I doubt a vampire hunter costume will give you any unusual abilities, but it should confer some level of combat prowess," said Mandy, finishing off the modifications to Andy's pumpkin. "Plus, you're not dead."

Finally, Mandy removed the bulky pack she was wearing and set it down on the floor. I still couldn't tell exactly what it was, but it seemed to be some kind of a weapon. Then she turned back to Andy, her bittersweet smile returning.

"You ready to get out of that thing?"

"Yeah, now's as good a time as any I suppose," Andy said wistfully. With a bit of difficulty, he slid his head forward far enough to give the top of the pumpkin a quick kiss.

"I'm going to miss you, baby."

"Toby, put that on," Mandy instructed, nodding to her pack. She then gestured for Charlie and Tracy to get Andy out of the pumpkin. I picked up Mandy's invention and slipped my arms through the straps. I suppose my prediction of it being a weapon was correct. It consisted of two parts: the large and bulky backpack, and then a handheld, rifle-like device connected to the pack with a wire. The purple "Rated M for Mandy™" slogan on the side told me that it had to be something wacky.

"What the heck is it?" I asked, trying to find a comfortable way to hold it.

"It's my latest invention," explained Mandy. "I call it the LightBright gun."

"Light... Bright?" I mumbled, letting my arms fall to my sides.

"Yes, it's quite fitting," said Mandy as Charlie lowered the pumpkin over her. "It projects a concentrated beam of full-spectrum light. I can't say for sure if it'll be any use against Phil directly, but it's been pretty handy for clearing away all those damn tentacles."

Now that Andy was out of the pumpkin for the first time all day, he actually seemed a little disappointed. He was just wearing a t-shirt and jeans, both stained orange by what he'd previously described as "pumpkin guts." But, just as Mandy told me a moment ago, the pumpkin slime quickly faded away once his connection to the costume diminished.

By now, Phil's influence had started to completely consume the mansion. The room's only door was blocked by another wall of tentacles, so I supposed it was time to put Mandy's LightBright gun to the test. I pointed the weapon at the doorway and squeezed the trigger. With a satisfying hum, the handheld portion of the gun shot a continuous beam of light straight ahead, so vivid and white that it almost looked solid. The tentacles in the beam's path didn't appear to suffer any sort of damage, but they writhed and quickly receded as though they were in pain.

Falling through the floor earlier had put us back on the first floor, so after following a short corridor we found ourselves back in the entryway. Every doorway in our path was barred by its own tentacle barrier, but the LightBright gun still worked like a charm. The entryway itself, however, was a complete mess. Every inch of the room aside from the floor and staircase was covered in flailing tendrils of black and green. On top of that, an interwoven wall of the things was blocking off the entire upper balcony.

"End of the line, Adventure Club," I heard my own voice say from the top of the stairs. The tentacles blocking the way peeled back with a sickening degree of speed to reveal the other me, standing proudly with his hands in his pockets once more.

"We don't have time for this," I groaned, pointing the LightBright gun at him. I had no idea what sort of effect the weapon would have on him, but at this point I didn't really care anymore. The imposter tipped his head back and laughed.

"Right you are," he said, moving down onto the first step from the top of the staircase. "In just a few more moments, your precious existence will come to a swift en-"

Before the other me could finish his overly theatrical threat, a knife suddenly appeared in his upper thigh. He let out a high-pitched screech that rivaled Andy's level of inelegance, and as he began to tumble down the stairs I knew that I too would scream like a little girl if anyone ever stabbed me in the leg. Knowing where the knife must have come from, I looked to the side to see Tracy stepping out of a lunged throwing position. Then, she stood perfectly still, seething with silent rage as she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

"Alright, who the hell are you?" I grumbled, jogging forward as the other me reached the bottom of the stairs. As I knelt down next to him, I discovered that Tracy's knife had gone right through the hand in his pocket to stab into his thigh. The imposter flailed for a second, but I punched him in the forehead as hard as I could as he started to sit up. It honestly felt like it hurt my hand more than it hurt him; I had no idea how Tracy kept hitting me so hard. Luckily, the other me's head rebounding off of the hardwood floor seemed to be enough to knock him unconscious.

With no other options, I started tearing off the all too familiar school uniform. For the sake of decency I left him undisturbed from the waist down, but once his blazer, shirt and tie were removed, the knife in his thigh began to remove itself. Devoid of any blood, the blade clattered to the floor as the costume persona faded and the wound sealed itself. Then, my facial features began to dissolve, revealing...

"Old Man Jenkins!?" barked Andy, clapping his hands to his cheeks. All of us turned in one synchronized to give him the most unimpressed stare in history. Andy made no effort to atone for his stupidity, and Charlie raised a fist, intent on slugging him right between the eyes. Before she could, however, her nostrils flared and she unclenched her hand to wave it daintily up and down in front of her face.

"Ah... Ahh... Ahhh... ATCHOUM!"

Charlie sneezed right in Andy's face, and the high-pitched sound was loud enough to awaken my would-be imposter. I looked back at him when I noticed him starting to stir, and in the end I guess I wasn't all that surprised that it turned out to be Dillinger, leader of the gaming club.

"You people?" he grunted incredulously, looking around at all of us. "What the hell is going on?"

"I was hoping you could fill us in, actually," I said, quickly grabbing the fallen throwing knife before Dillinger could notice it. He rolled his eyes, not even bothering to try standing.

"I have no idea. Now where the hell is my shirt? And where are we?"

"Okay, what gives?" Andy asked, shrugging at Mandy. Mandy, who had been intently staring at our captive, suddenly shook her head and looked back at the rest of us.

"I don't say this lightly, but I'm not entirely sure. It may very well be some form of mind control."

"I could have believed these guys would come after us without any mind control at all," I said, looking up at Mandy. She placed a hand on her chin and tapped her foot, taking a moment to think.

"It's not too farfetched to think it would let them retain at least some of their personalities," she postulated, tapping her foot again. "But yes, they all have plenty of reason to want you gone."

"Will somebody please tell me what the hell is going on!?" bellowed Dillinger, finally starting to sit up. I raised a fist and he laid down again, but before I could make another move, Tracy knelt down on the other side of Dillinger's head and did it for me. She punched him hard enough to knock him out again, and it still didn't look like it affected her at all.

"How do you keep doing that?" I asked incredulously. She shrugged.

"Okay, before we move any further," interjected Mandy, getting our attention, "I have a confession to make. I don't want to die."

"For the sake of the mission, I will go!" Andy announced, raising both hands. Mandy sighed, shaking her head.

"I mean, I want to see what's on the other side of the portal, I do. But I don't want to just blow myself up once I get to the other side. I have so much more science to do! And I didn't realize that abdominal muscles could be so..." Mandy trailed off, surreptitiously glancing at the topless Dillinger. "So... So scientific."

"Ne t'en fais pas," said Charlie, taking a step toward Mandy. "Once we find the portal, we will draw straws, oui?"

Despite the fact that we had no straws to speak of, everyone nodded in agreement.

"Do not be sad," Charlie said with a bow. "It has been an honor. Maintenant, allons-y."

"AAHHHH-CHHIIIOOOOOO!!!"

Just as Charlie was about to make her way up the stairs, yet another sound put us back on the train to distractionville. Liz had emerged from Mandy's hideout carrying the pop culture device in all its coat hanger glory. She still looked dreadfully ill, but at least she didn't seem any worse than she had when we left her.

"Um," Liz began, sniffing wetly. "Mbandy told mbe to brig this up here whed I heard fightig. Is it over?"

Mandy shook her head, but before she could say a word, Charlie stepped down from the staircase and quickly skipped over to Liz. She drew a pack of tissues out from under her apron; I could only assume she'd gotten it while I was unconscious. After plucking out a tissue, she knelt in front of our shorter friend and held the soft paper to Liz's nose.

"Liz, mouche!" Charlie instructed. Liz took a deep breath through her mouth to blow her nose, but before she could, she wound up sneezing instead.

"CHHHIIOOOOOO!!!"

Liz's hat fell down over her eyes again as she sneezed, but Charlie quickly pushed it back up and drew out a fresh tissue. This time, Liz was able to blow her nose, loud as ever.

"Sorry," she whimpered, ending with a damp sniff. Charlie smiled and then gave Liz the rest of the tissues before standing up straight and returning to the staircase.

"Oh, hey!" Andy blurted, snapping his fingers. "Liz, take off your costume! You should feel better."

Too exhausted to question him, Liz removed her hat and slipped out of her robes. After dropping both garments to the ground, she sniffed pitifully and wiped her nose with one of her tissues. A few moments passed and Liz's condition remained the same.

"I dod't feel ady better," she whined, raising her tissue in preparation for a sneeze. "AAAHHHH-CHHIIIOOOOOOO!!!"

"Fascinating," Mandy murmured to herself, and then she beckoned Andy and Charlie over.

"Alright, I'll get out of this thing," she said, ducking her head. "It'll turn back into cardboard in a minute, so we'll be able to bring it upstairs easily." Tracy and I kept watch as Mandy slowly worked her way out of the pumpkin, and a moment later we were finally ready to put an end to this madness. Or so we thought...

"What did I tell you?" spat an ominous voice, echoing around the entryway. An impenetrable mass of tentacles burst through the door at the top of the master staircase, carrying Phil into the center of the room. I aimed the LightBright gun straight at Phil and fired, but just as Mandy suspected, it had no observable effect on him. There were just too many of the damn tentacles; they quickly overwhelmed us, lifting each of us helplessly into the air.

"I'm always watching," Phil sneered, his minor-key echo stinging my ears. With the now-cardboard pumpkin on the floor and the LightBright gun dangling by its wire just out of my reach, we were starting to creep into the realm of hopelessness.

"You happy now?" I groaned, still trying my hardest to wriggle free. The tentacles coiled around me even more tightly than before, and I felt like they were going to crush me against the LightBright gun's power pack.

"It brings me great sadness that we've come only to this," said Phil, riding his wave of tentacles toward me. "Your scientific companion was correct: I wanted nothing but your companionship."

"Not the greatest way to ask," I added, rolling my eyes. Faced with certain death, I was glad to know I could still keep up my trademark apathy.

"You refused me! I have instigated nothing!" Phil shrieked, his tentacles flailing me around.

"I don't know what you call that in the 12th dimension," Andy butted in, "but around here, that's called 'being an a-hole.'"

On the one hand I was glad that Andy was taking some of the pressure off me. Phil rode his tentacle wave across the room and positioned himself in front of our insolent compatriot instead. On the other hand, though, I really had no idea what Andy was trying to accomplish. Then again, nobody ever really knew what he was trying to do.

"So, Phillip," Andy continued, speaking so casually it felt condescending. "What's with the suit? Surely an all-powerful 12th dimensional whatever could wear something more comfortable. Who're you supposed to be dressed as?"

Phil seemed genuinely puzzled. He raised an eyebrow whilst flailing Andy around for a moment, and then he tried to answer in what I suppose was a dignified manner.

"I'm wearing the typical garments of the proprietor of this establishment."

"So you're dressed up like the owner of this house?"

"Yes! Enough of your mind games! You confuse only yourself!"

Andy's ever-present grin trembled as he began to giggle to himself. Before long, he was laughing so maniacally I don't think Phil would have even been able to top it. Our gracious host smiled and shook his head, starting to pull us gradually toward the door at the top of the stairs.

"Laugh while you can," he chuckled, turning his back on us.

"No, you laugh while you can!" cackled Andy. "There's an old Earth saying, Phillip. A phrase of great power and wisdom, and consolation to the soul in times like these."

"And what is that?" Phil asked, no less invested in our shenanigans than he was a minute ago. Andy's shit-eating grin spread so wide I didn't know how it was all staying on his face.

"Trick or treat."

There's no way you're going to believe me, but Andy's timing really was just that good. The doorbell rang, and all of Phil's tentacles began to disappear, flowing back into the walls in an instant. We all fell to the ground, even Phil, but he quickly pushed himself up to his feet and started walking to the door.

"No!" he cried, the minor-key echo gone. "What is this devilry?"

"Owner of the house has to give the kids their candy," explained Andy, putting his hands on his hips proudly. It might have looked impressive if he'd bothered to stand up first.

"Or at least get the door to tell them they don't have any," I added, watching in amusement as Phil continued on against his will. Once he passed me, I nodded to Charlie and then pointed at the cardboard pumpkin. Now was our chance to turn the tables. I slid up to the mansion's front door just as Phil pulled it open, and then I inched my head around the corner to face the kids outside. Their costumes were pretty generic, but not bad. Typical kid stuff.

"Sorry, kids!" I announced, putting on a big smile. "We don't actually have any candy right now."

The kids' faces sunk, and I looked over at the others to make sure our plan was still in order. Turning back to our guests, I nodded over Phil's shoulder.

"What we do have... Is a big ol' pumpkin... Thing!" I paused, waiting for the right moment. Seconds later, Charlie and Mandy shoved the cardboard pumpkin down over Phil. It took a lot of time and care to put the damn thing on properly; instead of reaching through the holes in the costume, his arms were pinned down to his sides. For whatever reason, the kids thought this was incredible and they began to cheer wildly.

"'Kay, bye!"

I slammed the door, ignoring the disappointed cries of the trick or treaters. We all began to shove Phil toward the staircase and up to the door. A few tentacles were beginning to creep back out of the woodwork here and there, but they were too small and slow to get in our way. Still, they served as a reminder that we didn't have much time to waste. As we reached the top of the stairs, Phil began to laugh softly.

"This will never end, Adventure Club," he proclaimed, turning his head almost a full 180 degrees to stare straight at me. "I shall find my way back to this dimension long after you have died and wrest you from your pathetic afterlives. Then, you will be mine for the rest of eternity!"

Andy looked down at his watch-less wrist.

"Sounds peachy to me. You guys free at quarter till eternity?"

At this point Phil must have just given up on trying to yell at us. He barely made a noise as we shoved him up the stairs and into the room at the top. On the other side of the door was the most magnificent, and also most terrifying thing I've ever seen in my life. It's hard to describe the portal to the 12th dimension. The most I can say is that it looked like a hole in reality itself. Seriously, Mandy told us afterward that if we tried to understand it in a capacity any deeper than that, the mere thought of it would drive us mad.

Mandy began to pull components out of the LightBright gun's power pack as we neared the portal. I supposed we wouldn't need it anymore at this point, and she explained her plan shortly enough. As I felt the handheld portion of the weapon die out, Mandy told me I could take it off. Dropping the remains of the device to the floor, I watched as Mandy connected her latest contraption to the pumpkin costume, now restored to its proper gourd glory.

"Who'd like to do the honors?" she asked, pushing Phil toward the portal.

"Until we meet again," said Phil. Neither his face nor voice were overly sinister, but I thought I heard the faintest hint of that minor-key echo again.

"Bon voyage, Philipe," grunted Charlie, taking a quick step forward. Before anyone else could intervene, she shoved Phil headfirst into the portal. Once he disappeared, any remaining traces of his influence quickly faded away; the tentacles protruding from the shadows vanished almost instantly.

"I added a timed detonation device to the pumpkin bomb," warned Mandy. "We have a few minutes, but there's no reason for us to waste any more ti-"

The portal suddenly exploded before Mandy could finish her sentence. The blast blew us clean out of the large window on the opposite wall, over the street, and into the neighbor's hedges. Surprisingly, I remained conscious for the entire event, and it didn't really even hurt that much. I removed myself from the hedges and sat on the grass, looking around to make sure everyone else was still in one piece. Andy, Liz and Tracy were laying on the ground in front of me, while Charlie and Mandy still had their heads stuck in the hedges.

"Okay, who's not dead?" grumbled Andy, lifting one arm weakly into the air. Liz raised a hand with a wet sniff, and Tracy simply flopped over onto her side, but at least she moved somehow. Then, in one synchronized motion, Charlie and Mandy removed their heads from the hedge and sneezed at the same time.

"HUAA-KNNNnuhh..!"

"HII-SHHHIIIIEW!!!"

"You two okay?" I asked, smiling over at them. I knew they were fine, but I felt compelled to ask anyway. Charlie and Mandy both turned their heads toward me, but their eyes were closed and they were rubbing their noses back and forth in the same rhythm.

"Hay fever," they complained simultaneously, sneezing again only a moment later.

"HI-SHHIIEEEW!!!"

"HUH-KNNNX!"

Noticing that neither Charlie's voice nor sneezes were particularly French anymore, I looked around for the pop culture device. Last I knew of, Liz was still carrying it, so it was probably blown out here along with us. It took me a second to find it, as it had flown a bit farther than we had: the mangled remains of the device were embedded in the wall of the neighbor's house, a few feet above us. Clearly a fan and coat hangers were no match for a stone wall.

I fell onto my back, staring up at the orange sky. After watching a few clouds float by, I heard the sound of footsteps passing on the sidewalk. A few costumed kids ran past, vaguely escorted by their lagging parents. Chuckling for a second, I placed a hand over my closed eyes and sighed.

"Hey, do any of you guys want to go trick or treating?"

The response was a unanimous, resounding "No," delivered all at the same time. Not even Andy was up for that shit anymore.

"You know, we left the other three in the mansion," I pointed out, still not bothering to sit up. "Should we do anything about them?"

Another uncontested "No."

"Does anybody think we should do anything?"

"No."

"Are we even going to walk home?"

"No."

I suppose I couldn't argue with that. I just didn't want to spend all night laying in some guy's back yard. Who the hell even lived around here anyway? The chances of this must have been astronomically slim, but I didn't want to chance it being another cosmic horror intent on bringing us on a vacation to dark space.

I knew the others could handle themselves, so I decided to get up and go home before I wound up falling asleep. After pushing myself to my feet, I was a little surprised to find Tracy already standing. I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could I decided to just keep quiet. Tracy pushed her glasses up her nose, the faintest hint of a smile curling her lips. She gestured down the street with her head, nodding in the direction of both our homes. I smiled back, and then I did something even I didn't expect.

I held out my hand. Then, after Tracy wrapped her fingers around mine, we walked home together on this fine October evening.

Happy Halloween, mother frakkers.

-----

And there you have it, folks. I figured I'd set this whole thing up to end on the day before Halloween, so I hope everyone's in the spirit of the season now.

Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed! Catch you on the next one, whenever that may be...

[Chanel_no5]

"Owner of the house has to give the kids their candy," explained Andy, putting his hands on his hips proudly. It might have looked impressive if he'd bothered to stand up first.

Mwahahaha, I could really picture this!!

That was an impressive story, just perfect for the Halloween spirit. Thank you so much for sharing this Halloween treat with us all!

[SneezeloveronGirls]

I loved this story. Can't wait for adventure club to be updated or a side-story where Mandy goes mad scientist on Liz.

[Snz.]

I loved it! Your plots are always so thought out and hilarious man. Can't wait for more of your work!

[a red nine]

Hey there mate, it's me, the late potate. At any rate, I'm here to sate your appetate for a great review that I will now dictate:

At first I felt bad about missing the Halloween gap time to review, but when you really think about it, this spooky theme suits the Adventure Club any time of year. So even if I'M late, the story should really still work for any time of year. So my bumping it up with this review is like justified. Like, completely. Like for real.

I also think I must have been pretty tired the first time I read this, because now the 'logic' (Halloween logic it may be) behind the pop culture device makes sense to me now. Or at least as much sense as it can. Either way, costumes-turning-real plot is always a super fun theme and your rendition of it does not disappoint. While Tracy and Toby's costumes have cool bonuses that move the story along, the less traditional route for Andy and Charlie provided some good humor and balance. And all the opponents were great too. Especially Olivia. It's making me start to like that name again, which I didn't think was possible lol. Though I guess even she's not completely harmless.

I think the coolest part was that I really could picture this in my head as some kind of TV special, which I wouldn't say to just anybody obviously, but I know you can appreciate that - and you probably even thought the same thing yourself. It brings in a lot of old characters, while presenting a new obstacle and a new way to solve it. Also Mandy's the type of character the deserves her own spin-off series. It's even complete with Liz, the apparent crowd favorite. And the main four all get their own chances in the spotlight, whether being awesome or ridiculous. As expected, Andy made me laugh out loud more than once, but so did Charlie, Tracy and Toby. And their friendship... their friendship is so gr8.

And of course... the end is adorable. I still ship it. I still ship it. Those cuties.

NOW, I've put in my share!! Club Wars, Club Wars, Club Wars!!