Female Another Day in Sentinel Bay (F, 3/?, Updated 4/17/2016)

[Blah!?]

People keep asking if I'm back (pfft nobody's asked me shit). And I haven't really had an answer. But now yeah, I'm thinkin' I'm back.

It's been what, like an entire year of writer's block? And then I just hammered this sucker out in two hours because I'm very good. But whatever, enough gloating. I think I really just had to get back to my roots. Basically what that means is two things: 1. There's a lot of setup and world building before the sneezing actually happens. 2. I at least try to be funny.

I don't want to spoil too much of what I have going on here since I actually kind of want people to go in blind and be taken off guard, so I'm not going to waste much more time. Just let me say that this may be the most unapologetically wacky story I've ever written, and I just had so much fun writing it. It felt good to have this much fun writing again, I almost forgot what it was like. Anyway, here you go:

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Chapter 1

Christine Campbell smiled and waved as another happy customer departed The Golden Goose. Working as a sales assistant at a jewelry store certainly wasn't Christine's dream job, but it paid the bills and she didn't hate it, so she typically didn't feel like complaining. As an added perk, it was located in the heart of the Sentinel Bay Super-Mall, giving its employees easy access to stores selling everything known to man during their breaks. Christine promised herself she'd try everything if she ever actually got a break.

As Christine's customer left, she noticed another one enter. The young woman's blue eyes narrowed behind her thick glasses. The newcomer seemed a rather shady fellow, and Christine had a feeling she had seen him before, perhaps on the news. He ignored the gold and silver, making his way straight to the cases containing diamonds and other jewels. Shrugging and giving the man the benefit of the doubt, Christine made her way over to ask if he needed any assistance.

With a flick of the man's wrist, the metal edges of the jewelry cases suddenly peeled themselves back. The glass panes fell away, leaving the valuables exposed. Alarms began to sound, but the man didn't seem to care. He swept the diamonds into a leather knapsack and began to sprint out of the store.

"Stop! Thief!" shouted Christine, running after the man. With a wave of his hand, however, he sent the store's security shutter crashing to the ground, stopping his pursuer in her tracks. Christine didn't hesitate. She turned and ran into the back of the store, shedding most of her outerwear once she passed the "employees only" sign.

When she arrived at her locker, Christine pulled on a blue and maroon leather jumpsuit, and then she grabbed an angular, metallic backpack and slipped her arms through the straps. After buckling the straps together under her breasts, Christine pressed her thumbs against the straps at shoulder level and let her Backpack of Holding do the rest. The pack opened itself and began to extend an exoskeleton over Christine's body. Rocket jump boots, grip-assist gloves, and super-servos for every joint. Finally, Christine let her dark-red hair down from its bun, pulled it back up into a high ponytail, and then she replaced her glasses with a pair of large square-framed goggles.

"I say, Miss Campbell! What seems to be the matter?" came the prissy voice of Mr. Pittman, Christine's boss. Christine turned to find him in his usual getup of slacks, a waistcoat and a superfluous monocle.

"Some guy stole all the diamonds," Christine explained, making her way back toward the door. "I think it's The Handyman. Not sure why he wants diamonds, but he's a supervillain. I guess this is just kind of what he does."

"Diamonds? Stolen? On your watch? Chop chop, Miss Campbell! If you cannot recover The Golden Goose's property, I dare say you might be fired."

Christine stared blankly at Mr. Pittman, unable to form a sentence that wouldn't have her fired immediately. After taking a second to calm herself, Christine stepped back into the sales floor. Drawing her laser pistol from its hip holster, the young lady swiftly cut a hole in the security shutter and finally resumed her chase. The Handyman had a good head start, but he wasn't hard to follow. Twisted metal marked his path all the way to the far side of the mall, where he finally came into view again.

"Handyman, you've pinched your last penny!" exclaimed Christine, setting her weapon to stun. She took aim, but her target darted around a corner before she could fire. As she followed him, however, Christine found herself clotheslined by an irritatingly familiar woman. Christine flipped head over heels and landed on her back, not sure whether to be proud or annoyed that her Backpack of Holding was more durable than she was.

"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there!" chirped the other woman, a hand held daintily over her open mouth. Opening her eyes, Christine stared up at the woman and recognized her as Inez Rivera, also known as Macromistress.

"Hi, Inez," Christine groaned, struggling to stand. Realizing who she had just run into herself, Inez began to laugh, though she still didn't help Christine up.

"Oh, hey there, Quantum Crusader!" she giggled, tucking a lock of her bobbed black hair behind her ear. Christine managed a pained smile and pumped a fist in the air.

"You remembered my name. Woohoo."

Finally able to stand, Christine immediately bent over and tried to catch her breath. No sooner had she recovered, however, than a new batch of trouble arrived. A pair of police officers ran up to Christine and Inez, the leader holding up one hand to get their attention.

"Quantum Crusader, you're under arrest for vigilantism!"

"Awesome! You know my name too!" Christine cheered, but she was nearly knocked to the floor again as Inez ruffled her hair.

"Aww! You almost look just like a real superhero!"

"I am a real superhero!"

The police officers laughed riotously, earning a glare from Christine.

"If I'm not a real superhero, why'd you call me by my superhero name?" she inquired. The cops laughed again.

"You ain't got powers, sweetheart. That's just your crazy lady name. But hey! Wait! Who cares!? You're under arrest!"

Before Christine could react, the cop slapped a pair of handcuffs around her wrists. Christine didn't try to resist, but she scowled at the police officers and then gestured wildly in the direction of The Handyman's continuing destruction.

"Hey! Here's a thought! Why don't you go arrest the guy who actually stole something, actually committed a crime, and then arrest me later? How does that sound? Hmm?"

Christine only stopped ranting when Inez pressed a finger to her lips, nearly sticking it up her nose. She stared cross-eyed at Inez's hand for a second before looking up at the superheroine, and then she held her breath as Inez began to strip down to her supersuit, revealing more of her dark olive skin. Noticing the police officers drooling snapped Christine out of her trance and prompted her to roll her eyes.

"Be a dear and hold this for me," said Inez, handing her shopping bag to one cop and her folded clothes to the other. The officers nodded wordlessly, and then Inez suddenly doubled her size and sprinted through the mall concourse. Christine pouted as the twelve foot tall woman ran after her prey, but for the time being she supposed there was nothing she could do.

Before long the sounds of crashing and smashing began to fill the air. Christine was enraged that the cops were still guarding her rather than making any sort of effort to apprehend The Handyman, but she simply rocked back and forth on her feet and whistled to herself. After the shockwave of what seemed to be an explosion, Christine finally turned to cops and held up her hands.

"Sounds like Macromistress needs some help. How about you let me go and all three of us lend her a hand?"

"Ha, nice try, crazy lady."

Christine rolled her eyes behind her goggles.

"Well, if I'm already going to jail anyway..."

Turning to face toward the exit, Christine simply pulled her wrists apart. The strength of her exoskeleton's super-servos enabled her to shatter the handcuffs with ease, and as they fell to the floor she activated her rocket jump boots and leapt up to the mall's second floor. She could hear the cops yelling after her, but their voices were quickly drowned out by the sounds of more destruction. The mall was still mostly intact, so Christine could only assume The Handyman and Macromistress had gotten outside before the battle started.

Diving through a smashed window above the doors, Christine fired a quick burst from her boots for a soft landing. Once she steadied herself, she could only stare up in wonder at the paradise of mayhem that lay before her. The Handyman had reshaped nearly a hundred cars into what appeared to be a giant robot suit, and Inez had grown to almost the size of a skyscraper to match him. Luckily most of the police officers outside seemed more sane than the other two and they were actually helping people evacuate the area, but Christine knew she had to step in. She was confident Macromistress could win, but every time she grew this big, there was always extensive collateral damage. Not that the city ever seemed to care. As long as the superhero won and the supervillain lost, the mayor never punished any of the "real" heroes like Inez. But today, Christine didn't care as long as she could help save lives.

Sprinting toward The Handyman's car amalgamate, Christine put her exoskeleton to the test. She leaped and climbed up the twisted metal, though the constant motion made it more difficult than she would have liked. A punch from Macromistress sent the carbot staggering backward and Christine nearly fell, but she just managed to catch herself at the last second. Hanging by one hand, she took a moment to reorient herself. She looked back and forth between Inez and the carbot, and then she began to laugh maniacally. Filled with determination, Christine flung herself back into the fray, humming Revived Power to herself for an extra confidence boost.

Reaching the top of the carbot, Christine met eyes with Macromistress for a second. Inez looked more concerned for Christine's safety than annoyed that she was getting in the way, so the part-time jeweler took that as permission to proceed. She drew her laser pistol and began to cut through what she could only assume was the carbot's cockpit, but she stopped as the sound of nearby terrified screaming caught her ear. Christine secured her footing and glanced over the edge of the carbot's head. A woman had fallen from one of the mostly-intact cars that made up the beast's body, and Christine feared it was already too late to save her. Luckily Macromistress managed to catch the woman, and Christine allowed herself a sigh of relief.

In just a few more seconds, Christine managed to finish cutting a hole in the carbot, exposing The Handyman. He panicked for a second, trying to make his creation lunge to the side and dislodge his attacker, but he froze when Quantum Crusader pointed her laser pistol at him.

"All this for a few diamonds?" she muttered, gesturing to the surrounding destruction with her free hand. "Building a giant freeze ray or something?"

The Handyman shrugged. Christine shrugged back, and then she flipped her weapon to stun and shot him in the face. She grabbed The Handyman and prepared to jump to safety if the carbot fell over, but miraculously it remained standing. Catching her breath, Christine sat down beside her captive and stared out at the city. Most of the area next to the mall had been stomped flat, but all the buildings were still standing. This was probably Macromistress's lowest destruction to size ratio yet. Christine slouched forward and smiled at Inez, but as she did she caught sight of something suspicious.

Macromistress was holding her hand up close to her face, presumably to comfort the woman she caught during the battle. To Christine's puzzlement, a thin wisp of purple gas rose upward from Inez's hand. It pooled on her wide septum for a second before splitting in two and bleeding upward into both of her enormous nostrils. Inez's eyes seemed to glaze over, and then she knelt down and placed the woman on the ground.

Christine wasn't sure what to think, especially when Inez took a deep breath through her nose. Macromistress's nostrils sucked in the entire dust cloud that blanketed the street and then she rose to her feet. Her eyes returned to normal, but her blank expression was immediately replaced by something far more desperate.

"Oh no," Christine muttered, standing up and readying her boots. She leaped from the carbot and landed gently on Macromistress's massive nose, grabbing hold of the soft flesh to steady herself. The gargantuan woman didn't seem to notice Christine, nearly knocking her to the ground as she rubbed a finger back and forth under her nose.

"Inez! Inez, can you hear me?" called out Christine, waving one hand up at Macromistress's eyes. Inez squinted as she took a deep breath, but she seemed to notice her companion and crossed her eyes to look down her nose.

"Inez, you did great! Awesome job with the whole 'not destroying the city' thing! Now, let's keep it that way! Whatever you do, don't sneeze!"

Macromistress nodded, lightly enough to keep from shaking Christine off. As soon as she did, however, she also drew a quick and breathy "Ha-Haa-Haaa-!"

"No! No! Bad Inez!" stammered Christine, waggling a finger. After a second of held breath, Inez managed to unclench her face and exhale a sigh of relief.

"Whew, good Inez."

"Haa-Haaa-Haaaa-!"

"Whoa! Stop it!"

"Haaa-Haaaa-Haaaaa-!"

"H-hey Inez? Remember that one time when you were gonna sneeze, but then you didn't? This is just like that!"

"Haaaa-Haaaaa-Haaaaaa-!"

"Inez, no! Don't sneeze!"

"Hhhhh-!"

Christine squeezed her eyes shut and held on tight, but after a few more seconds, the sneeze still hadn't come. When she opened her eyes, she realized that Macromistress had tipped her head so far back that was simply straddling the gigantic nose and she didn't actually need to hold on. Breathing a sigh of relief, Christine released her grip until Inez settled down. As the world returned to normal, Christine turned around, sitting comfortably and dangling her legs off the vast tip of Macromistress's nose.

"Woohoo. Way to be, Inez. Hey, about-"

"HAAEEEESHHHHYYYOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Without warning, Inez's sneeze returned in full force. Her breath alone was strong enough to break every window in the skyscraper she was facing, but that was nothing compared to when her forehead collided with it. As the entire building began to collapse, Quantum Crusader was also thrown into the air. Naturally she didn't want to fall to her death or be crushed by debris, so she fired her rocket jump boots in a panic and shot upward and back. Unable to see where she was going, Christine flew straight into Macromistress's right nostril. Dark hairs whipped past her as her momentum carried her up Inez's nose, but luckily the hair became thick enough to stop her before she reached the throat.

"Well this is just typical," Christine grumbled to herself, lying motionless in defeat. She felt a pit in her stomach that lasted for a moment, and she could only assume that meant Macromistress had fallen over. Once she was sure she was lying on her back, Christine began to painstakingly wiggle her way back out of the nose, careful not to tickle Inez too much. Eventually she managed to free herself, and not a moment too soon. Inez Rivera was regularly voted the most beautiful woman in Sentinel Bay, but she was also widely considered to be the ugliest crier. Christine stumbled away, just barely able to escape as Inez began to sob, snort and sniffle.

Part of Christine wanted to console her fellow superhero, but she knew making sure The Handyman didn't escape was more important. The force of Inez's sneeze had finally caused the carbot to topple, and Christine had little trouble retrieving the perpetrator from the wreckage. As Christine dragged him back to Macromistress, however, the police finally reappeared.

"Quantum Crusader, you're under arrest for vigilantism! And you're apparently also under arrest for resisting arrest and conspiring to make Macromistress sneeze."

Christine balked.

"Wh- A- I- Okay, I guess you got me on those first two, but you think I did this?" she stammered, gesturing at the surrounding area. "Neither of us wanted this to happen! Tell them, Inez!"

Inez was inconsolable. In the time it took Christine to apprehend The Handyman, Macromistress had shrunk all the way down to the size of an average child's shoe. She continued to bawl and wipe her nose on her arms, oblivious to the sea of reporters starting to appear. Dozens of them took pictures of her tiny form, but one of them eventually offered a tissue. Compared to Inez's current size it was big enough to be a blanket, but she still accepted the soft paper square and eagerly blew her nose.

Christine bit her lip and frowned in sympathy. She hung her head, but her train of thought was broken as her Quantum Science Watch began to vibrate silently. Lifting her hand, Christine looked down at the watch and groaned as she read "SSS Expired" scrolling across the screen. The instant she processed the message, she felt her own upturned nose begin to tickle.

"Ah-Ahh-Ahhh-! ACK-CHYEEW! Ugh..."

Unable to think of a witty excuse, Christine pouted and held out her wrists. As she was dragged off to the nearest precinct, she settled into the expectation that tonight wouldn't be so special. During times of high supervillain activity, Christine tended to find herself in jail at least a few times a week. Luckily the courts always ruled in her favor as long as the villain at hand was caught, and sometimes she was released after just a few hours. All in all, getting locked up had become a slap on the wrist. It was an issue Christine hoped to remedy by one day being recognized as an official superhero. Unfortunately, since she didn't have any tangible superpowers, the superhero union continued to ignore her requests.

Just over an hour later, Christine sat in the center of a precinct holding cell, still clad in her Quantum Crusader gear. Her fellow inmates were all pressed up against the walls; even if the city government didn't recognize her as a superhero, common criminals knew a walking ass-kicking when they saw one. It seemed even with Christine in a miserable, allergy-ridden slump, none of them dared cross her.

"Ehh... Heh! HhhaaaAAA-SHYEEEW! Hgh-! Uhh..."

Taking in a soft snort, Christine wrinkled her nose and rubbed a glover finger firmly under her oval-shaped nostrils. She heard two of the other inmates whispering about offering her a tissue to gain her favor, but from their lack of action she assumed they ultimately decided not to. Letting out an annoyed sigh, Christine continued to hang her head and rub her nose until she heard footsteps approaching from down the hall. She looked up to see a young reporter and her cameraman come to a stop in front of her cell.

"Hello? Quantum Crusader?" asked the reporter, waving timidly. Christine stared up at the reporter for a second, not yet interested in responding.

"Do you have time for an interview?"

Christine held up her arms as if to say "do I look like I'm busy?"

"Oh, yes, of course. I'm Jessica Lyons, independent reporter. I just wanted to ask you a few questions. Um, uh, so, they let you wear your costume in jail?"

"Well, they don't know how to get it off of me, and I'm sure as hell not going to tell them," answered Christine, resting her elbows on her knees. Jessica nodded and then prepared herself for another question.

"So, would you, er, do you have any superpowers of your own?"

Christine opened her mouth to answer, but she quickly held up a finger to warn of an oncoming sneeze. Her eyes fluttered and her head tipped back, revealing her flaring nostrils.

"Ahh-Haah-Haaaahh-! HA-CHHHHHYEW!"

Jessica gasped at the sound of Christine's sneeze. She turned to her cameraman, gestured to him and then stepped aside to allow him to take a shot of herself and Quantum Crusader together.

"This just in! Perhaps in an attempt to show solidarity with Macromistress, it would appear that vigilante hero Quantum Crusader is also sneezing!"

Christine's eyes bulged and she surged to her feet. She stomped up to the bars and pressed her face up as close to Jessica's as she could.

"Como say WHAT!?" she spat, grabbing the bars on either side of her head. "Now even sneezing has to have an opinion piece? Oh my god, it's allergy season! And my Super Sneezer Stopper just wore off an hour ago."

"Super Sneezer Stopper?" asked Jessica, cocking her head. "Is that an allergy medication you'd like to endorse?"

"Wh-? No!"

"Is it new? Has it been approved by the FDA? Who are the major retailers? How much does it cost? Do you have any complaints about drowsiness or duration?"

"It's not for sale!" barked Christine, forming an X with her arms. "Don't wait, there's not more! Don't call now for special offers! Not available in stores!"

Christine tried to maintain her angry expression, but her tickly nose quickly got the better of her. Her eyebrows flipped from defiant to helpless, and the rest of her face quickly followed suit until her eyes were clenched and her nostrils were flaring.

"Ahh-Ahhh-Ahhhh-CHYEEEEW!"

"Bless you!" cooed Jessica, fishing a tissue of her jacket pocket. The instant she held it up, Christine's right hand shot between the bars to grab it, and then she dejectedly blew her nose. Jessica waited for her to finish, and then she asked a followup question.

"Can you tell me a little more about this Super Sneezer Stopper?"

"Like I said, it's not for sale. Your sponsors aren't going to care."

"Oh, it's okay. I'm just actually kind of curious."

"Oh, well, uh, where do I start? It's a personalized allergy medication, and so far it's only guaranteed to work on me. It completely eliminates all my symptoms, especially itchy nose. I hate that, you know? Like when your nose is all itchy? Anyway, actually I do have a complaint about the duration. I've never been able to get it to last longer or shorter than thirteen hours, and I'd rather not have to rotate my dosage schedule every single day, so I only take one when I wake up and that's it. But yeah, I invented it. It's actually the first thing I ever invented."

Christine stepped back from the bars and proudly placed her hands on her hips. She grinned to herself and buffed her gloved fingers on her shoulder strap, and then she turned back to Jessica with an aloof shrug.

"Man, before I came up with this thing, everybody used to call me Chris-sneeze!"

Her grin twitched.

"And I just said my embarrassing high school nickname on live TV!"

The inmates who once feared and respected Christine began to snicker quietly. She put her hands back on her hips and smiled bigger than ever.

"I hate my life!"

Jessica held an awkward smile, but the sounds of someone else approaching caught her attention as well as Christine's. A pair of officers walked up to the cell, one of them leaning toward the gate to unlock it. As the second officer stood guard, the first beckoned to Christine.

"Quantum Crusader, you're free to go."

Taking a deep breath, Christine wound up and bellowed out a booming "WOOHOO!" After giving Jessica and the cops a round of high-fives, she took off down the hall toward freedom. Her Backpack of Holding kept all of her personal effects secure, so she didn't bother picking up any confiscated items as she fled the precinct. Once she was outside, Christine took a victory lap around the trashcan in front of the building, and then she posed heroically until another desperate "ACHYEEW!" damaged her pride. Finally, Christine anticlimactically slid up to the bus stop to wait for a ride home.

"Just another day in Sentinel Bay."

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That's all for now, thanks for reading! I'm not really going to follow a rigid update schedule, but I'll try to keep churning these out as I go. I think this is probably going to be somewhere in the range of 3-5 chapters long in the end, but for now I'm not entirely sure where it'll take me. Anyway, as always feedback is much appreciated if you'd like, and above all I just hope you enjoyed reading!

[47Bears]

This is giving me a super beam vibe, probably because of the whole "sneezy superheroine" but I'm not opposed to this, in fact I like it a lot, and I really want to see where you take it

[Curiosity234]

Welcome back.

[poiub]

Loved it!

[Blah!?]

Thanks for your response! I hope you like part two!

I actually had a bit of a harder time writing this chapter at first, but I've come to like it a lot as its simmered. Sometimes it's hard keeping the (attempts at) humor up while still having meaningful things happen. Hopefully I pulled it off again.

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Chapter 2

After a hard week of fighting crime and trying to please young couples, Christine was glad Saturday had finally come. She hardly even wanted to leave her apartment, but eventually she managed to force herself out to Impresso Espresso for a coffee. Sitting peacefully in the cafe, Christine did her best to watch the news before she retreated back to her video games for the rest of the weekend.

Once the weather report was finished, the TV finally managed to hold Christine's attention. The news anchor sat in front of a photograph that had obviously been taken yesterday: it was a borderline mugshot of Macromistress, about to unleash her disastrous sneeze. Christine raised her eyebrows in surprise, but she quickly squinted up at the image when she realized she should have been visible there too.

"They photoshopped me out!" Christine mumbled to herself, taking a sip of coffee to calm her nerves. Of course all the major news outlets only wanted the scoop on the "real" superheroes. A literal sneeze from Macromistress was worth more than Quantum Crusader apprehending a villain.

"Unease sweeps the city in the wake of yesterday's super-sneeze. The beloved Macromistress, also known as Inez Rivera, suffered an untimely sneeze during a battle with the infamous Handyman. Mayor Copeland has already decided to pardon Macromistress for the destruction of the Malachite Peak tower, but some believe she may have had a more treacherous tickle in her nose than we initially thought. We now go live to an exclusive interview with Miss Rivera."

Christine leaned back and took another sip of coffee, starting to feel a bit concerned. The news transitioned to a shot of Inez sitting with an interviewer, and Christine felt a pang of sympathy the instant she saw her fellow superhero. On a positive note Inez had returned to her normal size, but it was obvious that she was still crying. Her mascara was starting to run, and she was continuously sniffling into a handkerchief, occasionally pausing to wipe it back and forth under her nose.

"Good morning, Miss Rivera," greeted the interviewer. Inez nodded and forced on a faint smile.

"Good morning," she choked, pressing the tip of her nose up with her handkerchief.

"First of all, I think everyone in Sentinel Bay would just like to say 'gesundheit,'" the interviewer continued, tilting her head in a manner most insincere. Inez nodded shakily again and smiled more genuinely.

"Th-thank you."

Christine still felt bad for Inez, but she couldn't help but roll her eyes at that.

"Now, how do you respond to the allegations that you, in fact, sneezed intentionally?"

Inez froze as the interviewer turned her microphone over. Her lip trembled and she pressed her handkerchief firmly against her nostrils to keep from sobbing all over again.

"I- What? I- No! I would never-!"

The interviewer didn't even ask another question, simply leaving Inez to flounder. After a few seconds the video was replaced by footage from a camera phone, showing Macromistress's enormous nose sucking up the dust cloud at street level. When the video of the interview resumed, Inez looked mortified. Mascara ran down her cheeks and the underside of her nose formed a wet splotch on her handkerchief.

"I- I don't-"

Inez was unable to form a complete sentence before she started bawling. After a few seconds of all-out sobbing she began to involuntarily shrink again, and Christine couldn't bear to watch. When she did finally force herself to look, Inez was no bigger than a doll, her feet hanging off the edge of her chair. Christine frowned, disgusted that the camera was still rolling.

"Sheesh, poor Inez," she whispered to herself, sloshing her coffee around before taking another sip. At least Macromistress finally seemed to be more concerned about collateral damage, but Christine never expected to see her so humiliated. Then again, she had no idea what it was like having a reputation to maintain.

The news cut back to the anchor, but Inez's trauma didn't stop there. The background photo had changed to another image of Macromistress, this time showing her mid-sneeze as she visibly expelled the dust cloud from her nose.

"Well, at least it looks like she's learned her lesson," the anchor said dispassionately. "The superhero union has already issued a statement that Macromistress intends to take a week off from hero work, so concerned citizens need not worry. And fortunately, The Handyman was apprehended by the Sentinel Bay police-"

"Oh, come on!" Christine bellowed, leaping up from her chair. The rest of the cafe's patrons turned and stared at her, giving her the stink-eye to keep her from ranting. Christine's deep, angry breathing steadily tapered off, allowing the television audio to dominate again.

"Up next: Another scandal? Inez Rivera also stands accused of using her superpowers to enhance her cup size. And are there any other superheroes you should watch out for this allergy season?"

Christine folded her arms and pouted, ignoring her coffee for the next few minutes. Her glasses slipped and she quickly pushed them back up her nose with her pointer finger, but then she immediately shut out the rest of the world again.

"What is this? They photoshop me out of the picture and then they don't even give me credit for bringing in The Handyman! No respect! I don't get no respect!" she grumbled to herself, keeping her voice low. Eventually she began to crave another sip of coffee, so she finally released herself from her pout to pick up the cup. Deciding she needed to blow off some steam, Christine left Impresso Espresso behind and made her way toward Bayview Park. She didn't particularly care about the park itself, but there was an old-school arcade right next to it. That was much more her speed.

Stepping into Bradley's Arcade, Christine headed straight for the Wild Gunman machine. She didn't actually intend to play, but every time she came she always had to make sure her high score remained undefeated. Smiling to herself, Christine folded her arms and tapped a foot as she watched the attract mode sequence play out. When the high score screen finally came around, Christine's jaw nearly hit the floor. The bottom nine slots were still occupied by "CQC," Christine Quantum Crusader, but her number one score had been bumped down by someone with the initials "MDG."

"A challenger appears," Christine mused to herself, reaching into her wallet for a quarter. Starting up the game, she drew the revolver light gun and held it ready at her hip. She wanted to say something along the lines of "this town ain't big enough for the two of us," but as her opponent wasn't around to actually hear her, even Christine thought that would have been too much. Still, she finished the game to the best of her abilities, snapping the light gun up in her quickest draw yet. After shooting "CQC" into the game over screen, Christine closed her eyes with a smug smile, held the light gun aloft and arrogantly rubbed the index finger of her free hand under her nose.

When Christine opened her eyes, she instantly dropped the light gun and fell to her knees, barely catching herself against the arcade cabinet. She had beaten her previous high score, but "MDG" remained at the top of the list. Christine drew a deep, shaky breath, starting to tremble.

"I'm sorry, Wild Gunman," she whimpered. "I failed you."

Then she felt something reaching into her pocket. Christine's head whipped to the side and she glared back over her shoulder. She found herself face to face with a rotund, bearded young man who seemed to be unaware that he'd been had. Christine cleared her throat, catching the man's attention, and they stared at each other for a second before Christine jumped back to her feet.

"It's just a prank, bro!" the young man squawked, taking a step back. Christine put her hands on her hips and glared.

"Uh, seriously though can I have some quarters?"

"Nuh-uh!" Christine scolded, waggling a finger. "You dare pick the pocket of a peaceful player!? You, sir, defile this establishment!"

The would-be thief scoffed.

"I defile this arcade? You couldn't even beat my high score!"

Christine gestured frantically at the game for a second before snapping back to the man.

"You're MDG? Oh, it is on! Now, not only are you a thief, you are my rival!"

The gamers stared at each other in silence, both folding their arms. Only a tumbleweed was lacking to complete the scene. Christine took a deep breath, and then she suddenly raised her arms above her head and darted off to find the manager.

"But first I'm gonna get you kicked out! Ahahaha!"

Christine ran down an aisle of arcade games, but her search for the manager was cut short just as it began. She heard footsteps approaching rapidly from behind, but when she looked back to see if MDG was chasing her, the sound suddenly stopped. Nearly dragging her jaw on the floor, Christine staggered to a halt and watched as MDG leap into the air. Just when he was about to land on top of Christine, he somehow jumped a second time without touching the ground or any of the surrounding arcade games. The young man somersaulted through the air, landing gracefully in front of Christine. She couldn't even bring herself to react when MDG drew back a fist, glowing blue energy collecting around his forearm. Before Christine could so much as smile at her own defeat, MDG punched toward her, shooting a giant fist of energy straight into her chest.

"You can stop calling me MDG," said the thief, standing over Christine as she lay in a heap on the floor. "I'm The Most Dangerous Gamer."

After a second Christine managed to sit up, shaking her head to clear her mind. The Most Dangerous Gamer was nowhere to be found, but she knew he couldn't have gotten far.

"He has superpowers and he hangs around an arcade all day? What a freak!"

The instant Christine was back on her feet, she sprinted to the bathroom and changed into her jumpsuit. Her exoskeleton was still assembling itself around her limbs as she burst through the arcade's front door, and luckily MDG was still in sight. He had taken off across the park, and for all his agility he didn't seem to be very fast. Drawing her laser pistol and switching it to stun, Christine started after him.

"Stop right there, criminal scum!" bellowed Christine, nearly laughing as she took aim. Just as she was about to line up a shot, however, she felt something wrap around her foot. Before Christine could look down, the prehensile vine that had ensnared her leg pulled backward and then hoisted her into the air. Letting her arms hang toward the ground in defeat, Christine frowned blankly as she slowly rotated around, finding herself face to face with Dahlia Dawson, another "real" superhero.

"What's up, Verdant Valkyrie?" grumbled Christine, barely able to keep her voice from wavering. Dahlia frowned back, barely taking the time to look Christine in the eye.

"Stand down, civilian," ordered Verdant Valkyrie, turning her gaze back to the little man still fleeing across the park. Christine willed herself to come up with an angry retort, but she was too busy trying to hold off a building sneeze.

Dahlia Dawson had been born human, but when she developed her superpowers, she became substantially more plant-like. Her skin was a rich green, resembling layered leaves, and her hair recalled thick blades of grass. Verdant Valkyrie's most distinguishing feature, to Christine's dismay, were a pair of large and colorful flowers sprouting from either side of her head. The blossoms released thick clouds of sparkling pollen into the air whenever they were open, and they only ever seemed to close when Dahlia was asleep.

"Aahh... Haaahhh..."

"Christine, don't-"

"HA-SHHYEW!"

"...Sneeze."

"Sorry!" Christine apologized, holding her finger under her tickly nose. Dahlia looked away and dropped her on the ground. Christine landed in an uncomfortable heap, but she quickly rolled over and sat up.

"Aww, come on, Dahlia. You know I'm allergic to flowers, and you know my Super Sneezer Stopper doesn't work on your pollen..."

"If you're just going to complain, then go home," Verdant Valkyrie hissed, glaring down at Quantum Crusader. Christine immediately dropped her sympathetic facade and sprang to her feet.

"No way! I was here first! Haha! Aahh-Aaaahhh-HAA-CHYEEEW!"

Christine took off running across the park, hoping to finally catch up with The Most Dangerous Gamer. Verdant Valkyrie, however, simply lifted one foot and stomped on the ground. A massive vine surged outward under the grass, and once it was beneath MDG, it broke through the surface and launched him upward. To Dahlia's surprise, however, MDG appeared to jump while still in the air, somersaulting again and landing safely. He resumed his sprint for the far end of the park, about to pass through a line of well-pruned trees.

"He's a slippery little bastard, isn't he?" Christine observed, sliding a gloved finger back and forth under her nostrils. She was about to look back at her fellow superhero when Verdant Valkyrie suddenly shot past her anyway, nearly flying across the grass. Leaping into the air, she hovered for a second before slamming back to the ground. Verdant Valkyrie sent a shockwave rumbling across the park, quickly outpacing The Most Dangerous Gamer as he fled. A wall of vines sprouted between the two trees on either side of MDG's path, finally seeming to cut off his escape. He jumped once, then again in midair, but even that didn't give him quite enough height to clear the wall. By the time he fell back to the ground, Dahlia had finally managed to catch up with him.

The Most Dangerous Gamer rolled back to his feet and threw an energy punch toward Verdant Valkyrie, but she sidestepped him with ease and summoned a mass of vines from the ground. MDG attempted yet another double-jump to escape, but Dahlia was just too fast. Her vines coiled around his legs and pulled him back to the ground, and then they wrapped around his body, pinning his arms to his sides. When all was said and done, Verdant Valkyrie was left with a leash by which to drag her catch back to the city side of the park.

"Ha! That's what you get for trying to steal my quarters, punk!" laughed Christine as Dahlia pulled MDG past.

"Don't think you deserve any credit for this, civilian," growled Dahlia, yanking her vine to make sure MDG kept up. He stuck his tongue out at Christine as he passed, and she returned the gesture until she felt another sneeze coming on.

"Ughh... Haah... Ah-Aaaahh-CHHHYEEW!"

Feeling a bit disappointed, Christine dug a tissue out of her Backpack of Holding and blew her nose as she followed along behind Dahlia and MDG. She began to droop over pitifully as she walked, feeling more stuffed up with each step. Still, with the crowd of reporters gathering just up ahead, Christine refused to leave the situation behind. This could be her chance to finally get some publicity. She blew her nose again, harder and louder this time, but she quickly forced herself to stop when she heard a series of camera flashes. Christine perked up and tried to pose heroically, but she quickly realized that even though she was standing right beside them, the reporters were only interested in Verdant Valkyrie and MDG.

"Verdant Valkyrie, do you care to comment on the situation?" asked a face in the crowd.

"This was just a minor scuffle. The situation has already been resolved, and I see no reason to make a scene," Dahlia answered, professional as ever.

"Will you pay for the damages to the park?"

"My powers are one with nature. Look behind me, and you'll see that the grass and trees are no different than before I arrived."

"What if someone had been injured?"

Ignoring the flurry of questions, Christine tried her best to slide in closer. If she was partially hidden behind Dahlia or MDG, she had no doubt the news networks would simply edit her out again. At the same time, she didn't want to be obnoxious, lest she incur Dahlia's wrath. There was also the possibility that the reporters would simply take so many pictures that any featuring Quantum Crusader could be left on the cutting room floor, but Christine still felt compelled to try. She stood up tall next to Verdant Valkyrie and put on a big smile, but she only managed to last for a few seconds before Dahlia's pollen tickled her nose yet again.

"Hahhh... Ahh-Ahhh-Ahhhh-!" Christine hitched, jamming a finger under her nose. She held her breath, desperate not to sneeze, but even after just a few seconds she could tell it was a vain effort. Squeezing her eyes shut, Christine held her finger to the underside of her nose for as long as she could, but it didn't take long for her willpower to fail.

"HaaaAAAA-CHHHYEEEEW!!!"

Christine doubled over with a big sneeze, leaving her out of breath. She moaned in annoyance, gently rubbing her finger under her nose to dull the remaining tickle. Just before she opened her eyes, however, Christine noticed that a strange silence had fallen over the crowd. She stared quizzically at the reporters, and then she turned to Verdant Valkyrie. To Christine's surprise and horror, she caught the last glimpse of a wisp of purple gas disappearing up Dahlia's nose. It looked like the same thing that had happened to Inez, but before Christine could check on Dahlia, she also noticed The Most Dangerous Gamer attempting to slip away.

"Oh, don't even think about it!" yelled Christine, running after MDG. Still wrapped up in Verdant Valkyrie's vines, he was far too slow to outrun Quantum Crusader. Before Christine could catch up with him, however, she felt a strange rumbling that slowed both hunter and prey to a stop. Turning to face the source of the disturbance, Christine's eyes widened and she watched in terror as an entire tree hurtled toward her. She moved to evade, and the tree passed directly between her and The Most Dangerous Gamer. Christine nearly let out a sigh of relief, but she quickly noticed the tree was instead heading straight for Bradley's Arcade.

The next few seconds seemed to last for an eternity. Quantum Crusader and The Most Dangerous Gamer dropped to their knees, both crying out "NO!" at the tops of their lungs. At first the leaves and smaller branches broke harmlessly against the arcade's door, but the trunk impacted with enough force to tear a gash all the way through to the other side of the building. Christine could hardly bear to watch, but she found herself unable to look away. She could just barely see the Wild Gunman machine: it had narrowly avoided the thrown tree, but it still slowly toppled over. Christine's jaw dropped and her eyes widened as the arcade cabinet crashed to the ground, its screen winking out for the last time.

The Most Dangerous Gamer fell flat on his face and continued to wail in despair, but Christine managed to force herself back to her feet. She had a feeling she knew who had thrown the tree, but she didn't want to be right. To her dismay, she found Verdant Valkyrie standing beside a crater of uprooted dirt, a murderous scowl on her face. By now the reporters had resumed taking pictures, and as far as Christine could tell, Dahlia had hurled a few of them several yards away to give herself some space. First Christine felt confused, then sad, and then finally apoplectic.

"Okay, Cabbage Patch! What the hell was that?" she screamed, jabbing a finger at Verdant Valkyrie and then whipping her arm back toward the arcade. Dahlia's eyes darted to Christine and she began to walk forward.

"I told you to go home, civilian," she snarled, walking straight past Quantum Crusader. Holding out a hand, Verdant Valkyrie summoned a tree-like hammer from the ground. It hung menacingly in her arms as she strode toward The Most Dangerous Gamer, and he finally turned around in time to see Dahlia hoisting her weapon up above her head. MDG let out a high-pitched shriek and he rolled out of the way just as Verdant Valkyrie's hammer came crashing down. Calling on what agility he had left, MDG jumped to his feet and ran as fast as he could, his vine leash flailing behind him like a tail.

Christine simply watched in angry confusion as Verdant Valkyrie chased The Most Dangerous Gamer across the park once again. Without his double-jumps, MDG was much too slow to escape, though he did manage to evade each time Dahlia took a swing at him. Occasionally reporters would run out and try to photograph the action up close, and even when MDG didn't use them to block Verdant Valkyrie's path, the enraged superhero had no qualms about tossing them out of the way. Then, Christine's eyes widened behind her goggles as she realized MDG had turned around and was heading straight for her. She backed away, but she froze again in bewilderment when the pickpocket flung himself at her feet.

"Game over, man! I don't want to die!" he wailed, tears streaking his face. "I'll let you arrest me, I swear! Just don't let her kill me!"

Christine rolled her eyes and pushed The Most Dangerous Gamer away with a foot, but she didn't object when he crawled around behind her to take cover. Verdant Valkyrie continued to charge toward them, hammer at the ready. As she drew closer, Christine noticed that while her face was still enraged, Dahlia's eyes seemed oddly blank.

"Out of the way, civilian!" she roared, raising her weapon. Christine's hand shot to her hip, her fingers twitching toward the grip of her laser pistol.

"Don't make me do this, Dahlia!" Quantum Crusader shouted back. She gave Dahlia a few precious seconds to change her mind, but when Verdant Valkyrie let out a battle cry and surged forward, Christine knew she had no choice. She drew her weapon in a flash and gave Dahlia a stun shot to the chest.

Verdant Valkyrie's weapon flew from her hands as her joints locked up, and it disappeared seamlessly back into the grass when it hit the ground. Christine holstered her laser pistol, but Dahlia's momentum continued to carry her forward. In a painful collision of bodies, Christine was left as the meat of a sandwich between The Most Dangerous Gamer and Verdant Valkyrie. Worst of all, Christine found one of Dahlia's flowers mere inches from her face, filling her nostrils with sparkling pollen.

"You... You can take my Wild Gunman high score," wheezed The Most Dangerous Gamer, gratefully slapping the grass with one of his now-freed arms. Christine squirmed, barely able to respond.

"Shut... Shut uhhh... Aahhh... Haa-Haaahh-HAAA-SHHYEEW! Egh-! Heh! AHH-CHHHHHYEW! Ah-Ahh-Ahhh-! Huh-! AHH-CHYEEEW!!!"

Just as her sneezing fit ended, Christine felt herself being dragged out from between Dahlia and MDG. Her eyes still closed, she waved weakly at her rescuers.

"Heh-hey, thanks."

"Quantum Crusader, you're under arrest for vigilantism!"

For the second day in a row, Christine found herself sitting in a precinct holding cell. Word of her embarrassing nickname appeared not to have reached this part of town: once again her fellow inmates had all backed away as far as the walls would allow. Folding a partially used tissue, Christine took a deep breath and wetly blew her nose. Letting out a strained puff of air in the aftermath, she perked up slightly at the sound of footsteps approaching.

"Hi again, uh, Quantum Crusader," came Jessica Lyons's demure voice. Christine looked up at her and sniffed.

"Sorry to, um, meet you again under these same circumstances. Do you have time for another interview?"

"I'm dot really id the mbood, Jessica," Christine groaned, wiping her nose with her tissue. The reporter smiled sympathetically, cocking her head slightly.

"I only have a couple little questions today. Please?"

Christine sniffed again, feeling a sneeze starting to build up. She wrinkled her nose and pressed her tissue to her nostrils, ready to cover herself.

"Ehh... Hehh-! ACK-CHYEEW!"

"Bless you."

"Ugh, fide. Ask mbe adythig."

"Oh, thank you! Wonderful. Okay, so, um..." Jessica paused, and then she began to giggle lightly. "Are you feeling alright?"

Christine couldn't help but smile too.

"I'm fide, thanks," she replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Just allergies."

"Okay, uh, do you have any sort of relationship with Dahlia Dawson?"

"She's what I'm allergic to. Her polled's way too weird for mby Super Sdeezer Stopper, ad as you can see, she gives mbe a really stuffy doze."

"Aww, that's too bad," Jessica cooed. "Are you two friends?"

"Well, we're dot edemies," said Christine. She blew her nose again and then sighed, lost in thought for a second. "Actually, I'm dot sure what we are adymore."

"Did something happen today?"

Christine put on a bittersweet smile.

"Just adother day id Sentinel Bay."

-----

As always, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed, and I hope I'll see you again next week.

[poiub]

[47Bears]

Nice filthy frank reference

[mysterysneeze]

This story has a fresh feel to it. I love superheroes but this story is more than just a hero story. There are quirks and twists that are with each character I love. The giantess has the power to shrink and she cries more than almost any hero I know. The plant hero has flowers that cause the main character to sneeze and this odd purple substance is different than I initially thought. Aggression seems to be a symptom not sneezing. That is not what I thought after just the first chapter. The second chapter made new insight and I am eager to see what happens! Another twist: a hero ends up in jail enough so the inmates know her personally. That is new and it is awesome!  I also like the danger of the media XD they can twist anything they want. I think too that the independent reporter is a cool girl. Not sure why, but something about independent reporters is great to me. The fact she showed up in both chapters means to me she may have something special...or she just knows how to find good scoops  

thank you for writing this fun story Blah San!

[Blah!?]

I guess that's what I get for using too many dank memes...

And again it's that time, folks. This chapter was actually the most fun I've had writing in a long time, even moreso than the first one. Naturally I did have some other ideas I wanted to include that wound up getting left out, but that basically happens all the time. I just let myself go wherever it wanted to take me. I hope you like this one as much as I did.

-----

Chapter 3

Waking up on Sunday morning, Christine was determined to finally enjoy her weekend. That meant not going outside for any reason. She sat up in bed and immediately groped at her nightstand for a tissue: she could still feel the remnants of Verdant Valkyrie's pollen floating about inside her nose. Holding her tissue in place, Christine took a deep breath and blew, gently shaking her head to alternate nostrils. Afterward she exhaled a groan that was both annoyed and relieved, and then she folded the tissue over and blew her nose a second time.

Christine let out another pitiful moan as she dragged herself out of bed. She lived alone, but part of her felt if she grumbled enough, the universe would let her go back to sleep. Eventually she reached her bathroom and turned on the shower. Waiting for the water to heat up, Christine grabbed her bottle of Super Sneezer Stopper gummies and popped one into her mouth, savoring the fruity taste as she chewed it.

The second she stepped into the shower, Christine decided she wanted to stay there for the rest of the day. She washed up and then continued to stand in the column of hot water, sniffling to clear her nose and losing herself in thought. An indeterminate amount of time later, Christine shrieked and leapt out of the shower as the water suddenly turned ice cold. She wrapped herself in a fluffy towel and ran back to her bed, but she managed to summon just enough willpower to keep from diving back under the covers.

Pulling on fuzzy pajama bottoms and a novelty t-shirt, Christine sat down in front of her computer. She planned to fill her day with nothing but video games, but first she opened up her news aggregator. Christine was hardly surprised to find that the largest headline was about Verdant Valkyrie receiving a temporary suspension from the superhero union. Her behavior the day before had been uncharacteristic, but there was no denying it was ruthless. Christine doubted Dahlia would suffer any long-term consequences, but with two days in a row of bad publicity, the union was probably just playing it safe.

What Christine didn't expect to see, however, was a picture of a familiar blue and maroon costumed character off in the corner of the page. She held her breath as she moused over the thumbnail and clicked on it. At first her stomach dropped, but only for a split second. Finally, Quantum Crusader had been featured in an official news article. Following the lead of the daily news channels, various websites were beginning to compile their own lists of "superheroes to watch out for during allergy season," and while it was an unflattering subject matter, one of them had chosen Quantum Crusader as their cover image. Christine didn't care that the article was clearly a piece of clickbait garbage. She didn't care that the image was an unattractive picture of her mid-sneeze from the day before. She didn't even care that a booger was visibly flying out of her right nostril. All that mattered was she was finally in the news.

Smiling like an idiot, Christine giggled excitedly and began to scroll through the list. Macromistress was given an honorable mention: she didn't have any seasonal allergies, but her sneezes were obviously disastrous. Finally Verdant Valkyrie herself ended up in the number one spot, but with the caption "only if pollen makes you sneeze!" Christine threw up her hands and pushed her chair back from her desk. Not only did the article not credit her with the cover image, it didn't even include her among the listed superheroes. Spinning herself out of her chair, Christine lifelessly flopped face-first back onto her bed.

"I need a lawyer."

Suddenly the building shook, prompting Christine to sit up. She promised herself she wouldn't go outside, but a sudden sharp chill caught her attention. Shivering momentarily, Christine debated at least looking out the window. Another quake passed through a few seconds later and the air grew even colder, and Christine finally gave in. She pulled up her blinds and nearly jumped when she saw snow falling from the sky. It wasn't just early spring, last traces of winter snow; it was a full-on blizzard of biblical proportions. Pressing her hands and nose up against the glass, Christine stared outside in confused awe.

"What the heck is going on out there?" she wondered out loud, her eyes turning back and forth behind her glasses. Realizing that she was getting too curious, Christine pulled back and shook her head.

"No. No way," she muttered, rubbing a finger under her cold nose. "I'm not going outside. I don't even care if somebody's taking over the world. Today is for me. Just me and my video ga-"

A third quake brought on another drop in temperature, and this time the lights flickered out a few seconds later. The backup power supply for Christine's computer clicked on, the whirring of its fan filling the room, but Christine already knew she had lost. She scrunched up her face and flailed her arms around, holding in a scream that escaped only as a suppressed whine. Eventually she took a deep breath and calmed down, forcing her face into an awkward smile.

"Well," Christine began with a huff. "At least now I can try out my winter suit."

Throwing open her closet, Christine pushed her regular clothes aside to reveal her Quantum Crusader outfits. She had several copies of the standard blue and maroon suit, but she had recently completed a prototype "winterized" version, only just too late for the actual winter. It was structurally similar to her regular suit, but the maroon highlights were white, it contained an internal temperature regulation system, and it featured a fur-lined hood and a set of single-lens ski goggles to replace the standard square frames. Letting out one last sigh of defeat, Christine removed the leather jumpsuit from its hanger and slipped it on.

Once she was fully kitted out in her winterized Quantum Crusader gear, Christine left her apartment and made her way to the lobby. She passed by a mother and her two children on the way down, and despite the fact that the kids were playing with superhero action figures, they ignored Christine when she waved and their mother pulled them off to the side while giving Christine a suspicious glare. Feeling that the day had already been ruined, Christine stuck her tongue out and sprinted the rest of the way down the stairwell.

Stepping outside, Christine immediately threw her arms around herself and shivered. Her new suit's temperature regulators kept her safely warm, but comfortably warm was an entirely separate issue. The snow was already almost a foot deep, and even more was continuing to fall from the sky. On a dubiously positive note, the city was peacefully quiet. After walking only a few blocks, Christine felt like she had stepped into an entirely new world. When she realized part of the silence was due to everyone else retreating inside, she frowned and kicked herself for being the only idiot trying to make a difference, as usual. Christine trudged on, though yet another shockwave and temperature drop stopped her in her tracks.

"Could it get any colder? Sheesh!" Christine grumbled, shivering and rubbing her shoulders. She took a deep breath and tried to calm down, but inhaling so much freezing air at once made the inside of her nose prickle teasingly.

"Ahh-Ahhh-! ACK-CHYEEW! Ugh..."

Christine shivered yet again, but after building up a bit more warmth she pressed forward. At first her goal was simply to reach the center of the city and see if there were any clues as to the cause of the blizzard, but she found one along the way. For the most part, the gray clouds above seemed impenetrable, but eventually Christine noticed they were all slowly swirling around Calstar Tower, coincidentally the tallest skyscraper in Sentinel Bay. Christine rolled her eyes, as if to say "of course it's there," but at the same time she knew virtually everything that happened in this city really was just that contrived.

As she approached the base of the tower, Christine saw what appeared to be flashing lights coming from the lobby. It didn't look like the typical red and blue of the police, but there was definitely something going on inside. Keeping her arms tight around her trembling body, Christine forced herself forward. She prayed it would be at least marginally warmer inside, but if the tower really was the source of the blizzard, she didn't want to get her hopes up. Just as she was about to step under the awning in front of the building, another chilly breath froze the inside of her nose again, tickling even worse than the last time.

"Eeh-! Hihhh-! HaaaAAA-CHHHYEEEW!!!"

Christine doubled over with a loud sneeze, and then she scrunched up her face and snorted in through her nostrils, which were starting to feel ominously damp. When she opened her eyes, she was pleasantly surprised to see the snow on the awning hadn't fallen. Just as she let out a relieved sigh, however, another quake shook the city and the awning dumped a mound of snow in front of the tower doors.

"Oh, that's just perfect!" Christine whined, throwing up her arms in defeat before quickly pulling them back around her body for warmth. She angrily paced back and forth for a few seconds before simply drawing her laser pistol and melting her way through. Once the snow had been cleared away, Christine wiped her nose on a gloved finger and quickly shuffled inside.

There appeared to be only one other person in the Calstar Tower lobby, and Christine could instantly tell it was a superhero. She might have assumed it was a young man if not for the accentuated chest region of her outfit. Christine watched as the tomboyish superhero acrobatically fought off what appeared to be waves of sentient snowmen, spraying jets of fire from her hands and feet when she punched and kicked. She occasionally paused to pose heroically and sweep a lock of her dark pixie-cut hair away from one eye, which even Christine found a bit overkill.

As the snowmen dwindled, Christine finally decided to lend a hand. One of them was creeping up behind the fiery superhero, so Christine drew her laser pistol and vaporized it with a quick shot. At first the other superhero didn't seem to notice, but once the last snowman melted she immediately turned to face Christine.

"Oh, hey, didn't see you there," she said in a nasally, boyish voice. "You a superhero too?"

"K-kind of," Christine answered through chattering teeth. "I'm n-not in the union. The name's Quantum C-Crusader."

"Awesome. If you're new around here, I bet I can put in a good word for you at the union. I'm pretty hot stuff."

"I'll b-bet you are."

"Anyway, my name's Erika Scarlet." The young superheroine paused for effect, and then she posed so dramatically Christine could have sworn she saw one of her teeth sparkle when she grinned. "But you can call me Cinder Blaze."

Christine stared blankly, utterly unimpressed by everything about this new superhero. After shivering for a few more seconds she began to sniff up another sneeze, ending the silence.

"Ihh... Ahh-Ahhh-Ahhhh-! ACHHYEEW!"

Letting out a defeated moan, Christine slumped over and held a finger under her ticklish nostrils. She sniffed, wrinkling her nose, and after a quick wipe she returned to trying to warm herself up. Cinder Blaze simply laughed, placing her hands on her hips.

"Gesundheit! You're not coming down with something, are you?"

"I'm sure I'm f-fine."

"Alright, you look like a pretty tough little girl! Anyway, we better get up to the top of this tower. I bet whatever's causing this is up there."

"You d-don't say."

Christine was already too exhausted to react to the "little girl" remark, so she simply followed Erika to the nearest stairwell. Somehow this felt even colder than the lobby, but Christine miraculously discovered that Erika radiated heat like a furnace. It took all of her willpower not to throw herself on top of the other superhero, and she managed to settle for walking close behind.

After climbing a few dozen flights of stairs, Christine wanted to simply lay down and die. Her exoskeleton made the walking completely effortless, but even with Cinder Blaze's heat, the air grew colder with every step up. Christine could hardly do anything but shiver and sniffle, but she still willed herself not to complain. Not that she didn't want to, but she couldn't think of anything in the world she wanted less than Erika's "encouragement." After a few more floors, Christine noticed her companion come to a stop and remain silent. A sound similar to wet slush sliding across concrete echoed above, and looking up at the next landing, Christine saw another pack of snowmen exiting the stairwell.

"There must be something important on this floor," whispered Erika, gesturing to the door as it closed. Christine shakily shrugged her shoulders and wiped a finger under her nose. She had a feeling there was nothing important in the entire building, and that the snowmen were simply on patrol. Before she could express her concerns, however, she felt another sneeze coming on.

"Ahhh-Ahhhh-Ahhhhh-!"

Erika shoved her index finger under Christine's nostrils, producing a barely audible hiss as her body heat melted the thin layer of frost covering Christine's skin.

"Shh! They'll hear you!" Erika reprimanded, but Christine was off in her own little world. The underside of her nose was the one oasis of warmth on her otherwise frozen body, and she focused all of her concentration on where Erika was touching her skin, if only to take her mind off the extreme cold. To her dismay, her slice of paradise could only last for so long. When Erika removed her finger, Christine had no other options but to unleash her biggest sneeze yet.

"HaaaaAAAAA-SHHHHYEEEEW!!!"

Christine's sneeze echoed up and down the stairwell, and before Erika could scold her, the entire building began to rumble. After wiping her nose with a finger, Christine peered down over the railing just in time to see a geyser of snow shooting up from the ground floor. Too cold and tired to even scream, Christine simply resigned herself to the thought that she was probably about to die. She very nearly smiled as the jet of snow carried her all the way up to the building's 108th floor. Christine was surprised to find that she was still alive, and even more surprised to find Cinder Blaze had been pushed up with her. Apparently the snow had been powerful enough to carry the fiery superhero even as her natural heat melted through it.

"Good idea, QC!" cheered Erika, pulling a rigid Christine up to her feet. Christine wobbled and then fell forward, landing flat on her face. The sound produced an audible thud, but Erika was already halfway through the door out of the stairwell. After wallowing for a second, Christine weakly forced herself back to her feet and followed. The second she entered the hallway she began to shiver violently, barely able to stand the unearthly cold. Tiny icicles hung out of her nostrils, shaking and tickling her nose with every breath, but by now Christine was too cold to even sneeze again.

Cinder Blaze pushed through a door at the end of the hallway, and even she nearly shivered as she stepped into an open, snow-covered office floor. A gray-haired man clad in white robes stood in the center of the room, holding a pine wood staff an inch off the ground. Once Erika and Christine were just a few yards away, the man let the end of his staff fall and tap the floor. Christine wobbled as the entire building shook, and she nearly passed out when the temperature dropped even further.

"Stop right there, evil-doer!" Erika commanded, jabbing a finger at the ice wizard. "I don't know who you are, but I do know I'm going to-"

"A-are you s-s-serious?" chattered Christine, weakly holding up a hand. "Th-that's F-F-Freezer B-Burn. He's a p-pretty famous superh-hero. B-but you're r-right, he's certainly d-doing evil."

Erika hesitated, but Freezer Burn didn't. He raised his staff and swung it toward his guests, conjuring a wave of snow up from the floor. Christine was frozen to the spot, unable to evade, but luckily Cinder Blaze punched a fireball through the wave, defending them both. As the two other superheroes ran into battle with each other, Christine noticed that Freezer Burn's eyes were eerily blank, just like Macromistress and Verdant Valkyrie. She slowly trudged across the floor to rejoin Erika, though she was more interested in the warmth than helping her fight.

Trapped in her own mind, Christine realized how stupid it was that a superhero with only ice powers had named himself Freezer Burn. On top of that, since he was named after the second worst thing that could happen to ice cream, she had little trouble seeing him as the villain of the day. Cinder Blaze appeared to have the upper hand for most of the fight, but eventually Freezer Burn managed to hit her squarely in the face with the head of his staff. While she was stunned, he summoned another wave of snow that carried her across the room. Though too weak to assist, Christine still forced herself to lumber toward her fallen comrade.

Erika pulled herself up, leaning against a cubicle for stability. She was just about to leap back into combat, but her head suddenly whipped to the right to look behind the cubicle, as if she had seen another person there. Christine couldn't see around the wall, but she did see a cloud of purple gas puff out from behind the cubicle and flow up into Cinder Blaze's nose. As Erika's eyes glazed over, Christine became convinced that there must be foul play at work, but what she saw next completely obliterated her train of thought.

The two blank-faced superheroes ran at each other once again. Freezer Burn swung his staff at Cinder Blaze, but in an astonishing display of reflexes she caught it in her left hand without so much as looking at it. She wrenched the weapon away from Freezer Burn and then pushed him all the way back across the room with a flurry of fiery punches. As unhinged as careless superheroes could get, Christine had never seen someone fight so ruthlessly before.

Cinder Blaze drove an uppercut into Freezer Burn's stomach. While he was doubled over, Erika jumped and delivered a flaming roundhouse kick to the side of his head. Freezer Burn fell to the floor and remained crumpled for a second, and when he finally did begin to right himself, Christine noticed the hazy look had disappeared from his eyes. Her adrenaline began to surge, but she was still only able to look on helplessly as Erika kicked him onto his back and retrieved the dropped staff. Standing over her defeated opponent, Cinder Blaze set the staff alight in her hand and prepared to hurl it straight down like a javelin.

Seeing Freezer Burn's terrified expression finally gave Christine the will to move. On top of that, she could already tell the temperature was beginning to rise. Summoning all her strength, Christine ran toward Cinder Blaze and threw her arms around the young superhero from behind, pulling her backward.

"No! Erika, no!" pleaded Christine, trying to lift with her legs. She felt Erika's muscles tense as she was about to throw the staff, so she twisted to the side and sent both of them falling to the snowy floor. Cinder Blaze hit the back of her head on one of Christine's metal shoulder spaulders as they crashed to the ground, knocking her unconscious. Meanwhile, Christine was overjoyed to have someone fall on top of her. She wrapped both her arms and legs around Erika's body and gave her a questionably appropriate hug, absorbing as much heat as she could.

"Ohhh, you're so hot..."

In fact, all three superheroes laid silently on the floor until the authorities arrived. Christine had fallen asleep, but she was in for a rude awakening when her source of heat was taken away. The temperature continued to rise, but not much of the snow had melted yet, and Christine immediately curled up into a ball to protect herself from the elements. Once the police finished securing the area, they still had no sympathy to show Quantum Crusader, and she was hauled off for vigilantism yet again.

Relatively few other inmates were present to back away from Christine today as she was tossed into another precinct holding cell. She was thrilled to finally be back indoors with working heat, but she still felt like it would be days before she was properly thawed. She sat on the floor in the middle of the cell, her knees pulled up to her chin and her arms wrapped around her legs, still shivering and sniffling pitifully.

"Ehh... Heehh-! HEE-CHYEEW! Hhhh-! ACHHYEEW! Ohhh..."

For the first time in Christine's history of incarceration, one of the other inmates had something not unpleasant to say.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, cautiously reaching a hand toward the chilly Quantum Crusader. Christine looked back over her shoulder and stared at him, her expression worsening by the second as she fought to keep from exploding. She gritted her teeth and scrunched up her face, and finally she allowed herself a much-needed outburst.

"I'm so COLD!" shrieked Christine, grabbing her hood's drawstrings and yanking as hard as she could. Her hood closed up around her head, leaving only her sniffly nose peeking out through the fuzzy, shrunken opening. Letting go of the drawstrings, Christine let her arms fall back around her legs and she began to rock back and forth. The cell hung in silence, broken only by Christine's intermittent sniffles. She heard footsteps coming from down the hall, and though she had a feeling she knew who it was, she was too exhausted to perk up.

"Hi, Quantum Crusader," said a familiar voice.

"Hi, Jessica," replied Christine, muffled by her hood.

"Feeling up for another interview?"

Christine shook her head. Jessica bit her lip and frowned sympathetically.

"Even if it's just a few questions?"

Christine shook her head again. This time Jessica held up a finger and smiled.

"What if I give you a tissue?"

Christine stopped rocking back and forth, and then she finally stood. Her hood still drawn tight, she blindly wobbled over to the bars, making her best guess as to Jessica's location. The reporter drew a tissue from inside her jacket and held it up in front of Christine's protruding nose. The nose twitched, then it wiggled, and at last it found its way into the soft paper.

"Here, let's have a nice, big blow," suggested Jessica with a giggle. Christine took a deep breath and obliged.

"Good girl," Jessica praised, giving Christine's nostrils two slow, gentle upward wipes with the tissue. "Are you going to come out of there?"

Christine shook her head once more. Jessica smiled.

"Do you want another tissue?"

Christine nodded. Jessica let out a chuckle as she retrieved another tissue and pressed gently against the underside of Christine's nose.

"So, how are you feeling?"

"This has been the worst weekend of my entire life," Christine droned, her voice still muffled.

"Aww, you don't mean that."

"No, I don't. I just wanted to say it. And I'm sure next weekend will be much worse."

Deciding not to dwell on the topic, Jessica wiped Christine's nose again and continued on.

"Anyway, did you know this was Cinder Blaze's first assignment?"

"I could have guessed."

"And what are your feelings on her?"

Christine went weak at the knees just thinking about the warmth.

"She's so hot."

"Er, let me know if you want to rephrase that."

"No. No, I do not. Put that in your report. Quantum Crusader thinks Cinder Blaze is the hottest thing... In the world..."

Jessica giggled, noticing an improvement in Christine's mood.

"See? I guess today wasn't all bad."

Christine shrugged.

"Just another day in Sentinel Bay."

-----

And that's all for now, folks. Thanks again for reading! I should give a heads up that I've fallen behind a bit on my writing and I'm also going to be away from home until next Tuesday, so I may be late getting the next chapter up. That being said, I do fully intend to do it, so hopefully this won't turn into another abandoned project. See you when I see you.

[mysterysneeze]

This story is a fun enjoyable ride to read. The new chapter is one I can see happening in a number of different shows since heroes have been getting darker lately. I honestly loved how concerned Christine is for the villain, risking her own reputation and life for him. I wonder who is behind these events...and I like these days in this city!  nice job of making this chapter Blah San  I liked it a lot