Female Hold Your Horses (F, Secret Santa for Chanel_no5)

[Blah!?]

Hi @Chanel_no5! Looks like it's that time! I feel kind of bad about not really being able to write the fandoms you asked for, but I think I've managed to come up with something you'll enjoy! Or at least I hope I did. I suppose that's for you to decide, after you read this!

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Traveling through the countryside was a surreal experience. One could drive for hours without seeming to get anywhere at all. After two dozen miles on the same straight, flat and empty road, everything began to blur together. Despite her many years of experience, Detective Andrea Brewer wasn’t sure how she even managed to stay awake. Jill Garner, Andrea’s young partner, had run out of things to talk about an eternity ago. Now, Andrea couldn’t tell if Jill was even awake anymore, lying motionless and staring out the passenger door window.

A faint but sudden tickle fluttered its way up Andrea’s left nostril. She wrinkled her long nose, and then she removed one hand from the steering wheel to rub back and forth once. Giving an unconscious sniff, Andrea flared her thin nostrils and returned her full attention to the road.

“You coming down with something?”

Obviously Jill was still awake.

“What?” asked Andrea, genuinely confused. She heard Jill shift in her seat.

“You’ve been itching your nose this whole time,” Jill probed.

Andrea briefly glanced at her partner and frowned. She was about to ask how Jill had even noticed such a thing when she herself hadn’t, but she supposed “detective” was answer enough.

“It’s nothing,” said Andrea. She flared her nostrils again, though this time it was merely in annoyance. Even with all the car’s windows closed and the air conditioning on, the unmistakable scent of hay was in the air.

By the time the detectives finally arrived at their destination, the sun was beginning to set. Naturally Andrea felt tired, and Jill’s constant yawning certainly wasn’t helping matters. Even worse, the town looked like possibly the dullest thing Andrea could imagine. It seemed to consist of a single strip of road lined with shops and restaurants, and then nothing for as far as the eye could see. Jill stared longingly at a hotel as the car pulled past it. Andrea wished they could stop too, but at least Jill wouldn’t notice if she rubbed her nose again.

Turning off onto a dirt road, Andrea drove toward the Burton Ranch. The town was still visible in the car’s rear-view mirror as Andrea parked in front of the farmhouse, but the detective was too distracted by the permeating, dusty smell of hay to notice. Before Andrea could stop her, Jill immediately opened her door. She merely wanted to stretch her legs after an eternity of sitting, but she unwittingly allowed the hay odor to flood into the car.

Andrea gasped, trying her hardest to keep it airy and unvocalized. Jill seemed oblivious as she stood up, and Andrea began to count the seconds until she shut her door. The older detective nearly rolled her eyes in impatience as Jill took her time. The young lady yawned for what must have been the hundredth time, and then she paused to push her glasses up the bridge of her freckled nose before finally getting out of the car. Once Jill’s door slammed shut, Andrea released the breath she hadn’t even realized she had been holding.

“Heeeh…” she wheezed, bringing her hand up to her face. Taking advantage of her time alone, Andrea relinquished herself to the inevitable.

“HeeaKtt!”

Squishing her nostrils against the back of her wrist, Andrea stifled what would surely be the first of many sneezes. Even in the moment she could tell a few more would shortly follow. She dragged her nose back and forth across her hand, hoping to stem the tide, but it was already too late.

“Hihh… HESHhh! HaaERSHH!!!”

Andrea bent forward as a pair of strong, almost raspy sneezes forced their way out. The second was loud enough that she was sure Jill must have heard it. After taking a moment to firmly rub her nose, Andrea finally decided that she couldn’t delay any longer. To her delight, Jill said nothing of her sneezes as she stepped out of her car and headed for the farmhouse. Unfortunately, being out in the country air was only going to make things worse. Andrea felt her nostrils flaring involuntarily as she knocked on the front door, and she gave in to the urge to rub her nose as Jill yawned yet again.

A moment later, the detectives were greeted by a mustached man in a plaid shirt, undoubtedly the owner of the ranch. Overall he looked just like one might expect of a rancher: rough around the edges, slightly worn clothes, and his right hand was even lightly bandaged. Still, Andrea had to admit she anticipated him to be more confrontational, and she was a bit surprised as the man remained silent when she and Jill held up their detective badges.

“Good evening,” said Andrea, immediately conscious of the slightest hint of congestion in her voice. “I’m Detective Brewer and this is Detective Garner. We’re here about your missing horse.”

“Yes, I’m Richard Burton, and I’m the owner,” the man replied, folding his arms and frowning. Andrea was starting to feel fairly justified in her presumptions. “And I believe you mean stolen horse, thank you. I’ll show you to the stable.”

Burton stepped past the detectives and began to lead them away from the farmhouse. The stable was clearly visible on the far side of the admittedly expansive parking lot, but even that was too far for Andrea to want to walk. She lagged slightly behind the others and dipped her head, hoping her shoulder-length, dark brown hair would obscure her face as she rubbed two fingers back and forth under her tickly nose. The scent of hay would inevitably grow stronger as they approached the stable, and Andrea could only hope she’d be able to stay one step ahead of her allergies.

“Ehh…”

Unfortunately, she had no such luck. Andrea’s small nostrils flared against her fingers, prompting her to rub even harder. Despite her best efforts, she only managed to draw out her building sneeze for another few seconds.

“KNnxxt!”

Holding her fingers firmly against the underside of her nose, Andrea succeeded in stifling her sneeze. It was relatively quiet, but Jill was still close enough to hear.

“Bless you,” she said, looking back over her shoulder. Andrea said nothing and dejectedly rubbed her nose again. Burton didn’t seem to notice the sneeze, but he decided to speak up again nonetheless.

“Lady detectives, huh? Not exactly inconspicuous.”

Andrea would have been fuming if she’d heard a word of what the man just said, but she was too distracted by her itchy nose. Her silence left Jill to speak up instead.

“Well, we’re not exactly undercover.”

As they arrived at the stable, Andrea gave up on rubbing her nose for the moment. Instead she began to breathe softly through her thin nostrils in a vain attempt to acclimate herself to all the hay and dust in the air. The detective immediately scowled, wrinkling her nose at the reinvigorated tickle, but after a moment of concentration she was able to force her face to relax. Burton unlocked the stable doors and swung them open, but then he stepped off to the side.

“It’s right through here, the third stall on the right,” he said, immediately folding his arms again. “I got enough of an earful from the sheriff, so I’ll just leave you to your work. I hope you two can actually get me some results for a change.”

Andrea nodded, stepping forward.

“Of course,” she said, sounding about as patient as she looked. “Just stay right out here. We might have some questions for you.”

“Yes ma’am,” replied Burton, and then he gestured for the detectives to head inside.

Andrea led Jill toward the indicated stall, but she quickly began to fall behind as hay and dust flooded into her nostrils. Stepping past her mentor, Jill arrived at the stall and knelt down just outside it. All of the other horses had been removed prior to the local sheriff’s investigation, leaving behind nothing but hay. She leaned toward the enclosure, trying to get a closer look…

“HAAEShhh!”

Jill almost fell over as Andrea suddenly gave a near-shout of a sneeze. In their year of working together, Jill had never seen her partner lose herself quite like this. Then again, it didn’t take a detective to see what was getting up Andrea’s nose.

“Ha… Haa… HAAAESHhhuhh!”

“Bless you,” said Jill as her partner finally stumbled over. After giving her nostrils a firm rub, Andrea seemed to regain control of herself. She squatted next to her partner and examined the stall, but she only lasted a few seconds before her breath began to waver.

“Ihh… Hihhh… Heehh…”

The detective’s head tipped back with each hitching breath, and she limply held a hand in front of her face in an attempt to stifle her oncoming sneeze. After a few torturous seconds, however, nothing happened. Andrea’s clenched eyes and wrinkled nose slowly relaxed, and then she simply rubbed under her nostrils, cleared her throat, and then carried on as if nothing had happened.

“That was a close one. Here,” offered Jill, reaching into her coat pocket and retrieving a packet of tissues. Andrea shook her head and gestured for her partner to put the tissues away.

“I’m fine,” she muttered, lightly shaking her head. “Now, what do we have here?”

Jill pushed her glasses up her nose as if she were about to start reading something, but she managed to recall the case details from memory.

“Not much, I’m afraid. Richard Burton reported his prized thoroughbred stolen two days ago. He claims to have made a deal to sell it the day before that, and he’s repeatedly accused the buyer of the theft. Said buyer is coming in for questioning in two days.”

“What kind of horse is ih-it?” asked Andera, wheezing as she fought to hold in another sneeze. She pressed her nostrils against the back of her hand, hoping to catch Jill’s response before the inevitable. To Andrea’s dismay, her young partner hesitated, wrinkling her nose as she tried to remember.

“...Brown.”

“S-stay focused, G-Garner… Heh… HAERSHhh!”

“Bless you.”

Andrea groaned quietly and stood up. She stepped away from her partner and began to check the path leading back to the doors. Unfortunately, getting a few steps closer to the outside air wasn’t enough to ease her suffering. The stink of hay was still inescapable, and it tickled her nostrils like a hundred tiny feathers. Closing her eyes, the detective pursed her lips and wiggled the base of her nose back and forth. Her lips parted and she drew a small breath, her thin nostrils simultaneously widening.

“Hhhh-!”

Lifting a hand to her face, Andrea lightly waved it up and down in front of her nose. When the tickle continued to grow, she quickly brought her hand closer and pressed her nostrils down hard on top of her middle and index fingers.

“KGNtt! Hi’Knnxt! Ahh… HA-Knnn! Haa… KSCH-chuhh!”

By the end of her sneezing fit, Andrea had very nearly forgotten where she was and what she was supposed to be doing. Keeping her eyes squeezed shut, she furiously rubbed her fingers back and forth under her nose. Even a few seconds of continuous rubbing did almost nothing to dull the tickle, and when Andrea remembered her duty she was forced to accept the fact that she’d have to stop eventually. Willing her eyes to open, the detective stared off into space as she took a few breaths through her mouth and then sniffed against her fingers.

“Hey, come take a look at this,” called Jill, catching Andrea’s attention. The rookie was showing her up. Unacceptable. Closing her eyes with a scowl, Andrea painstakingly managed to separate her fingers from her nostrils and she cleared her throat. Pulling the lapels of her coat tight, she marched back to the stall and rejoined her partner. Jill was holding a stick, using it to point to a pile of hay without disturbing it.

“Can you see that in there?” she asked, briefly looking up at her partner. Andrea narrowed her eyes, and with Jill pointing it out, she was able to spot a speck of dark green in the hay. It was possible that the sheriff and his men simply overlooked it, but before setting out, Andrea and Jill had been informed that they had left the entire scene untouched, save for moving the other horses to another location. Apparently Burton had insisted that they “wait for the real detectives to show up.”

After putting on a pair of rubber gloves, Jill reached into the hay pile and drew out what was unmistakably part of a beer bottle. She frowned at the shard of glass, and then she leaned over the hay and sniffed. The young detective sniffed again, and then she turned back to her partner and shrugged.

“You smell any alcohol?”

Andrea’s hard boiled expression faltered for a second, but she didn’t hesitate. Not about to let her partner outdo her again, the senior detective leaned over the hay and tried to sniff it herself. She only managed to snuffle weakly, and then…

“Haah… HAAERRSHHhhooo!!!”

Jill silently watched in concern as Andrea heaved out an enormous sneeze. She decided it might be best to forgo a ‘bless you’ this time, and she simply placed the glass shard in a plastic bag. As Jill stood up, Andrea finally managed to regain her composure and give a delayed observation.

“Ugh! I can’t smell anything except the damn hay!”

Stuffing her hands into her pockets, Andrea stepped away from the stall once again. This time Jill followed, though she wasn’t sure where Andrea was leading her. She didn’t wonder for long, however, as Andrea quickly came to a stop just inside the stable’s open doors. The senior detective knelt down, prompting Jill to follow. Just off to the side of the entryway was a large padlock. After only a moment of examination it was clear that the lock had been destroyed by a pair of bolt cutters or a similar implement, and then it had been discarded once the doors were open. Putting on her own set of rubber gloves, Andrea picked up the heavy lock.

“I suppose it’s to be expected that Burton got a new lock right away, but…” Andrea began, resting her chin in her free hand. “Why’s it in here? Why wouldn’t the thieves either leave it on the door or throw it on the ground outside?”

Jill shrugged.

“Maybe one of them was just fidgeting with it once they got in?”

Andrea hummed in thought, but the ever-present tickle in her nose began to distract her again. Not wanting to sneeze on her gloves or the evidence, she turned her head away from Jill and folded an arm around her face.

“Heh… HAERRSHh! Hhh-! HESHHhh!”

“Bless you.”

Unable to rub her nose with her fingers, Andrea dragged her nose across her sleeve and stood up. After placing the lock in its own plastic bag, she removed her gloves and led Jill back out of the barn. It was getting late, and at this point Andrea would take any reasonable excuse to get away from the hay.

“Good evening, Mister Burton,” said the detective as she stepped past the ranch owner. He began to follow the detectives until he realized they weren’t stopping, and he was the only one who could lock up the stable again.

“Did you find anything?”

“Yes, sir,” Andrea replied tersely. Burton held up his arms in frustration.

“Did you find my horse?”

Andrea said nothing, leaving Jill to reply as she stepped past the bewildered man.

“We’ll let you know.”

Somehow Andrea managed to drive back to town and check in at the hotel without so much as one more sneeze. Once she and Jill arrived in their room, however, her nose ached for relief. Andrea’s thin nostrils trembled, flaring intermittently as they tried to sniff in cool, clean air. Unfortunately, the detective had been breathing nothing but hay for too long. Thinking Jill had gone to the bathroom, Andrea half-sat, half-fell onto the foot of her bed and frantically fanned her face with one hand.

“Hah-Ahh-Ahhh-!” she wheezed, her voice pitching higher with each inhalation. She flapped her hand up and down once more, and then she weakly cupped it over her nose to catch a loud “HAESHHhhh!”

With barely a moment to recover from her sneeze, Andrea began to rub two fingers back and forth under her nostrils in preparation for more. The rubbing brought only fleeting relief from the tickle in her nose, and Andrea resigned herself to merely trying to suppress her continued sneezes.

“He’Kgnt! Knnxt! Hihh! Ha-KNt! Ha… Haa… HAERRSHHhhuuh!”

“Bless you.”

Andrea sat bolt upright, and she whirled around to find Jill sitting on the edge of the room’s other bed. The detective rubbed her nose and stared at her younger partner, not angry, but embarrassed to the point of almost being so.

“I told you, it’s nothing,” she said, turning away. Andrea hunched over and began to gently massage the sides of her long nose with her fingertips. Jill sighed audibly, and then Andrea heard the rustling of blankets as her partner laid down for the evening.

“Alright. Goodnight, Andrea. I’m still young, I need my beauty sleep.”

Andrea rolled her eyes, but after the quiet clack of Jill resting her glasses on the bedside table, she managed a congested “goodnight” of her own. Then, Andrea laid down on her bed and pondered the events of the day. She tried to focus on the case, but even though her sneezes had died down, her hay allergy continued to creep into her thoughts. Eventually she noticed Jill snuffling in her sleep, and she decided to retreat to the bathroom herself. After freshening up, Andrea paused at the sink, staring at herself in the mirror. Her neutral expression became a frown, and she dejectedly plucked a tissue from the box in the corner of the room and softly blew her nose.

The following morning, Andrea anticipated she would be in for more of the same. She and Jill drove back to the ranch, and after briefly stopping to inform Burton that they would be resuming their investigation, they set out to walk around the perimeter of the grounds. The land was remarkably flat, with almost nothing visible for miles in any direction. A large portion of it was enclosed by a wire fence, so Andrea and Jill decided to follow it and search for any signs of trespassing.

“I can’t put my finger on what, exactly, but something about this case just feels bizarre,” said Jill, her eyes tracing the wire fence as she walked beside it.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Andrea agreed, turning her head to the side. Facing away from her partner, she rubbed her fingers back and forth under her nose and hoped she wouldn’t be noticed. There wasn’t nearly as much hay outdoors as there had been in the stable, but countryside air still had a tendency to tickle the detective’s nostrils.

After walking for an hour, both detectives began to suspect that they might have hit a dead end. The fence was undamaged, and there were too many tracks covering the trampled ground to follow any of them anywhere. As much as Andrea didn’t want to search the stables again, she wasn’t about to let that get in the way of doing her job. Closing her eyes, she pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. For the sake of being thorough, she decided to walk the perimeter one more time before returning to the barn.

Once they were halfway around the fence for the second time, the detectives decided to take a brief rest. Jill leaned back against the top of one of the fence posts and gazed out at the horizon while Andrea faced in the opposite direction. The farmhouse and stables were visible in the distance, and the town a bit further beyond that, but for the most part the area was isolated.

Feeling a sudden twinge in her left nostril, Andrea wrinkled her nose and sniffed. She lifted a hand up to her face, and as she started rubbing her nose she noticed a pile of loose hay beside the fence a few feet away. Nothing particular about it stood out to her, but the detective did think it was a bit out of place. She was sure she’d regret getting any closer, but a mix of curiosity and professionalism drew Andrea closer. Predictably, the moment she arrived next to the hay, she sneezed.

“Heh! HAAERSHooo!”

“Bless you,” said Jill, standing up straight and heading over to her partner. Andrea said nothing, silently trying to force her watery eyes open.

Staring into the pile of hay, Andrea caught sight of something suspiciously familiar. She immediately retrieved a pair of rubber gloves and pulled them on, prompting Jill to do the same, and then she reached into the hay to retrieve another piece of broken glass. It was unmistakably the same color as the one Jill had found in the stable: another piece of a beer bottle. As Andrea compared the shard of glass to the one they had collected the day before, Jill leaned over the fence and sniffed the hay.

“Yep, this time I can smell alcohol,” she announced, turning to her partner. Andrea gave a nod, and then the detectives quickly stepped over the fence and began to examine the hay.

Even Andrea caught a whiff of the alcohol, but it wasn’t long before the scent of hay thoroughly clogged her nostrils. As much as she wanted to distance herself from it, she knew she couldn’t just sit back and let Jill do everything. Careful not to send too much of it flying into the air, the detective swiftly dug through the hay pile. Andrea was sure they were about to find something else, but before she could make any significant discoveries, the hay forced her into yet another sneezing fit.

“Hih! Knnxt! Ah-KNnn!”

Pressing her flaring nostrils against the back of her hand, Andrea stifled a pair of sneezes into her rubber glove. She held her breath and pressed her hand upward as hard as she could, trying to squash the tickle out of her nose, but after only a few seconds it became apparent that she wasn’t finished yet.

“Hah… Haah… HAAESHH! Hhh-! Ehh’SHHOO! He’heh… KERSHHhooo!”

Jill gave a reflexive “bless you,” without looking up from her work, but Andrea was too distracted to notice. She absently took a few steps backwards, distancing herself from the hay as she dragged her itching nostrils back and forth across her wrist. Even after a few seconds of furiously rubbing her nose, Andrea failed to so much as slightly ease the tickle in her nose. Still, her determination forced her back to work. Fortunately, her search wouldn’t need to last much longer.

As she walked back toward the hay, Andrea set her foot down on top of something hard yet slippery. She stumbled back and quickly glanced down at her feet to see what she had slipped on. The detective’s eyes widened for a second as she caught sight of a mostly-intact beer bottle rolling across the dirt, the glass the same dark green as the pieces she and Jill had found earlier. Kneeling down to pick up the bottle, Andrea summoned Jill to examine it with her.

“Take a look at thih… Hihh… Hi’knxt! This,” Andrea instructed, wrinkling her nose to stifle an interrupting sneeze. Jill offered her partner a tissue, and this time the senior detective knew better than to refuse. At least for now, getting the job done was more important than being bashful. Holding the bottle in her right hand, Andrea took the tissue in her left and held it against her nostrils. She took a deep breath and blew her nose, and then she continued to gently squeeze her nostrils through the soft paper as she explained her findings.

“Half of the neck is broken,” the detective noted, turning the bottle on its side. “There’s a lot of mud covering it, but it looks like there’s some blood on the edges.”

Jill nodded in acknowledgement, but she pulled back as her phone began to vibrate in her pocket. On the off chance that it was something case related, she whipped out the device and glanced down on it. Andrea looked over to see that the local sheriff was calling, so she raised no objection when her partner answered.

“Garner,” Jill spoke into the phone, holding it to her ear with a gloved hand. She listened for a moment and then suddenly raised her eyebrows.

“You’re kidding,” she said, prompting Andrea to look over at her again. The detective wiped her nose with her tissue and them crumpled it up and stuffed it into her pocket, silently watching as Jill nodded at the sheriff’s words.

“Did you say beer bottles? Alright. See you soon.”

Jill pressed the “end call” button on her phone and turned to Andrea.

“You’re not going to believe this.”

The detectives quickly walked back to the farmhouse, their new evidence and information in tow. The sheriff hadn’t arrived yet, but Andrea and Jill invited themselves into Burton’s house anyway. They found the man sitting at his kitchen table, looking about as patient as ever.

“Did you find my horse yet?” said Burton, his voice soft but his tone demanding.

“Well, not us,” said Andrea, approaching the table. She paused to rub her fingers back and forth under her tickly nose, and then she gave a sniff and stood across from Burton.

“But somebody did. A farmer in the next town over found your horse wandering around his property.”

Burton’s face lit up.

“That’s great! I can’t wait to get him back here so I can send him on his way!”

“Yesterday you sounded fairly certain that your buyer was the one who stole him,” said Andrea, keeping a stern face until nobody was looking, at which point she stole the opportunity to subtly wiggle her still-itchy nostrils.

Burton hesitated.

“Well, it was just a hunch, after all. But now we should be celebrating!”

Standing up and walking over to his refrigerator, Burton reached in and drew out a familiar green bottle of beer. Holding it up over the refrigerator door with his bandaged hand, he waved the bottle slightly toward the detectives.

“Either of you want anything?”

Andrea silently reached into her jacket pocket and produced an evidence bag containing the bottle she had found in the field. Burton began to sweat as the detective set the bag down on the table.

“There’s a bit of blood on this bottle,” said Andrea, “and I think I know whose it is. Just a hunch.”

The sheriff arrived only a few minutes later, and Burton quickly admitted that there had been no theft. Apparently he had been so overjoyed at finding a buyer for his thoroughbred, especially at such a high price, that he drank an entire case of beer and then attempted to ride off into the sunset on the very same horse he had just sold. Eventually he passed out and fell off, and when he awoke the next morning, the horse was nowhere to be found. Too embarrassed to admit what had actually happened, Burton fabricated the theft story, down to breaking the lock on his own barn door. He seemed to think it was funny, but he became instantly less enthusiastic when the sheriff explained he had just confessed to committing fraud. Without a doubt this had been the most pointless case in Andrea’s thirteen years as a detective, and she was particularly glad for it to be over.

Several hours later, Andrea and Jill were finally ready to depart. Used to always sitting in the passenger seat, Jill was surprised to see her partner heading for the right side of the car. Not expecting an explanation, the younger detective walked to the driver’s side door and waited for Andrea to unlock it. After a few seconds of delay, Jill looked over the roof of the car to see Andrea rearing up for a sneeze.

“HAAERRSHHH!”

The detective’s head dipped down into a cupped hand as she let out a big sneeze. Jill wanted nothing more than to tease her partner now that the case was over, but she knew they were both much too tired for that. Instead, she gave another simple “bless you.”

“Thank you,” Andrea replied, catching Jill off guard. She finally unlocked the car and slipped into the passenger seat. Before Jill could so much give her partner a smile, Andrea headed her off.

“For your hard work today,” Andrea continued, tossing the car keys to her partner. She turned away, but this time Jill caught her rubbing her nose in the reflection on the door window.

“You’re welcome,” replied Jill, not sure whether to be amused or annoyed. For the time being, she chose the former.

“Your reward is getting to drive us home.”

Andrea yawned as Jill turned the car around, and she was asleep before they reached the end of the driveway. Jill smiled, watching her partner curl up in her seat and absently rub her nose. She was sure Andrea hadn’t meant to doze off, but the senior detective had more than earned her rest. Letting out a content sigh, Jill turned her attention back to the road. She was looking forward to a calm, quiet drive home, but an unexpected tickle in her nostrils made the freckled bridge of her nose crinkle up...

“Huh… Huhh! Hup’tCHhh! Oh man…”

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And that's all! As always, I really hope you liked it! I had a lot of fun coming up with these characters, so I hope I managed to put them together into something to your liking!

 

 

[Chanel_no5]

Duuuuuuuuuuuude!!!! I did NOT guess it would be you!!  

Okay, first off, I LOVE this!! Not only was it a lovely read with the exact right amount of tickly, teasing fetishy details, but it had a really funny conclusion as well!  That guy sure must feel dumb!  

Also, the spellings.  Hotness, my man.

8 hours ago, Blah!? said:

“You’ve been itching your nose this whole time,” Jill probed.

Andrea briefly glanced at her partner and frowned. She was about to ask how Jill had even noticed such a thing when she herself hadn’t, but she supposed “detective” was answer enough.

I love it when allergies sneak up so discreetly that it's somebody else that points it out for them.  

8 hours ago, Blah!? said:

Squishing her nostrils against the back of her wrist, Andrea stifled what would surely be the first of many sneezes. Even in the moment she could tell a few more would shortly follow. She dragged her nose back and forth across her hand, hoping to stem the tide, but it was already too late.

Ohhh, this is hot, the descriptions of nose rubbing alone gives a good idea how how maddeningly itchy her nose must be.  

8 hours ago, Blah!? said:

Unfortunately, she had no such luck. Andrea’s small nostrils flared against her fingers, prompting her to rub even harder. Despite her best efforts, she only managed to draw out her building sneeze for another few seconds.

“KNnxxt!”

Holding her fingers firmly against the underside of her nose, Andrea succeeded in stifling her sneeze. It was relatively quiet, but Jill was still close enough to hear.

“Bless you,” she said, looking back over her shoulder. Andrea said nothing and dejectedly rubbed her nose again.

Again... with the itchy nose rubbing. *fans self*

8 hours ago, Blah!? said:

“HAAEShhh!”

Jill almost fell over as Andrea suddenly gave a near-shout of a sneeze.

 

8 hours ago, Blah!? said:

The detective’s head tipped back with each hitching breath, and she limply held a hand in front of her face in an attempt to stifle her oncoming sneeze. After a few torturous seconds, however, nothing happened. Andrea’s clenched eyes and wrinkled nose slowly relaxed, and then she simply rubbed under her nostrils, cleared her throat, and then carried on as if nothing had happened.

These torturous false starts...  

8 hours ago, Blah!? said:

“What kind of horse is ih-it?” asked Andera, wheezing as she fought to hold in another sneeze. She pressed her nostrils against the back of her hand, hoping to catch Jill’s response before the inevitable. To Andrea’s dismay, her young partner hesitated, wrinkling her nose as she tried to remember.

“...Brown.”

“S-stay focused, G-Garner… Heh… HAERSHhh!”

 I think it's a certain other someone who needs to stay focused here... buuuut what do I know?  

9 hours ago, Blah!? said:

The stink of hay was still inescapable, and it tickled her nostrils like a hundred tiny feathers. Closing her eyes, the detective pursed her lips and wiggled the base of her nose back and forth. Her lips parted and she drew a small breath, her thin nostrils simultaneously widening.

“Hhhh-!”

Lifting a hand to her face, Andrea lightly waved it up and down in front of her nose. When the tickle continued to grow, she quickly brought her hand closer and pressed her nostrils down hard on top of her middle and index fingers.

"Stink" of hay?  It's the most wonderful scent in the world, Andrea, learn to appreciate it.  

9 hours ago, Blah!? said:

Pressing her flaring nostrils against the back of her hand, Andrea stifled a pair of sneezes into her rubber glove. She held her breath and pressed her hand upward as hard as she could, trying to squash the tickle out of her nose, but after only a few seconds it became apparent that she wasn’t finished yet.

“Hah… Haah… HAAESHH! Hhh-! Ehh’SHHOO! He’heh… KERSHHhooo!”

Jill gave a reflexive “bless you,” without looking up from her work, but Andrea was too distracted to notice. She absently took a few steps backwards, distancing herself from the hay as she dragged her itching nostrils back and forth across her wrist. Even after a few seconds of furiously rubbing her nose, Andrea failed to so much as slightly ease the tickle in her nose. Still, her determination forced her back to work.

Uh, I really, really love these descriptions of her desperate nose rubbing.  

9 hours ago, Blah!? said:

Andrea yawned as Jill turned the car around, and she was asleep before they reached the end of the driveway. Jill smiled, watching her partner curl up in her seat and absently rub her nose. She was sure Andrea hadn’t meant to doze off, but the senior detective had more than earned her rest. Letting out a content sigh, Jill turned her attention back to the road. She was looking forward to a calm, quiet drive home, but an unexpected tickle in her nostrils made the freckled bridge of her nose crinkle up...

“Huh… Huhh! Hup’tCHhh! Oh man…”

Ooooh, nice turning of the tables there!  Great ending to a great story, thank you so much!!  

[queenie]

Yep, Chanel nailed it with the compliments! You did right by her, this was so much fun. 

[Oolia]

On 7/18/2017 at 10:16 PM, Blah!? said:

“He’Kgnt! Knnxt! Hihh! Ha-KNt! Ha… Haa… HAERRSHHhhuuh!”

“Bless you.”

Andrea sat bolt upright, and she whirled around to find Jill sitting on the edge of the room’s other bed. The detective rubbed her nose and stared at her younger partner, not angry, but embarrassed to the point of almost being so.

I really love the relationship between the two, and this quote is a good example of why. Andrea so embarrassed by her allergies that she's angry at Jill, as if because she's her senior, she should be the one in control and she doesn't like showing her vulnerabilty. And at the very end, she finally softens and thanks Jill for blessing her AND relinquishes some control by letting her drive, as if she's finally accepting the situation, or maybe she's too exhausted to care anymore.

It adds a very nice, subtle complexity to the story, even though it's a lighthearted, fun one! I love that

[Blah!?]

Sorry it took me so long to respond to these! I'm sure I've made it frustratingly obvious that I love getting feedback, so I really ought to take the time to respond.

@Chanel_no5 and @queenie, I'm really flattered that you liked it enough to pick out all the parts you enjoyed. That always just makes me feel really nice, and I'm so glad I was able to come up with something you enjoyed.

@Oolia Writing the relationship between the detectives was a lot of fun. In hindsight I kind of wish I'd explored it more, but I think it still ended up being fun, and I'm glad you liked it!

[AC/DC Fanboy]

Very well written and lots of sneezy fun.

[Sneezingnonstop]

Absolutely loved this story of horses, detectives, and sneezing of course haha, great work!!