"May Day" - (6 Parts)

[Pilgrim]

‘Initializing data transfer…’

A young, brown-haired man stared at his computer screen with shining blue eyes. At long last, he could begin his first step towards world conquest. As his magic-powered machine began to transport his minions to Earth, he found himself singing…

“Dog eat dog

Every day…”

‘Uploading C:\Program Files\Monworld\Mandragora’

“On our fellow man we prey.”

‘Uploading C:\Program Files\Monworld\Mazikeen’

“Dog eat dog

To get by…”

‘Upload Complete’

“Hope you like my Genocide.”

***

‘Rrrriiiiingggg! Rrrriiiiinngggg!’

Amy’s alarm clock woke her up. She always set it to wake her just in time to catch the news before she left for school. She hopped out of bed, dressed quickly and went downstairs to turn on the T.V.

“Pollen counts continue to soar this spring, and with them the prices for allergy medication. Leading manufacturers expect to triple their profits by the end of this month…”

Amy turned it off, fuming. “How can those idiot newscasters announce that kind of news so cheerfully?” she thought to herself. Amy had always been able to sidetrack her allergies with medication, but with the recent inflation it was eating more and more into her purse. If it kept up she wouldn’t be able to afford it anymore. In fact, now that she thought about it, she needed to buy some more today! Hurrying through her breakfast she grabbed some tissues and dashed out the door into the pollen-filled May morning.

“Ha-Chew! Ha-Shew! Hashew! Hashew! Ha-*” Amy stopped what would have become a long sneezing fit by pinching her nose with a tissue. She held it there as she walked down the block, blowing femininely into it at the corner and was about to replace it when she got a call on her cell phone.

“Hah…Ha-Chew! Hello?”

“Amy! It’s Lita. We have a big problem in the park. You’d better get here quick. I’ve already called the others, but I need someone here ASAP.”

“I’m on my way.” As soon as she hang up, Amy burst in to a fit of eight “Echews!” she had been holding back. She couldn't help feeling a little relieved that Lita was in too much trouble to be chatty; she couldn't have held back for much longer and she didn’t want any of the other Scouts worrying about her allergies. After blowing her nose again she began to run towards the park. As she ran, the second of the Scouts looked at her watch and noticed she wouldn’t have enough time to buy allergy medicine, let alone make it to school on time. Oh well, that’s the price of being a super-heroine. And on that thought, she transformed into her heroic persona: Sailor Mercury.

Upon arriving in the park, she noticed two things. The first was that a giant, fuzz-covered tree was attacking her fellow scout; Sailor Jupiter. The second was that every last flower in the whole of the park was in full bloom. For obvious reasons, the latter had more effect on the Scout.

“Ah-Ha-Chew! Ha-Chew! Eshew Eshew Eshew! Ha-Echew! Eh-Chew! Echew! Ah-Ah-Ah-CHOO! Heh-Echew! Heshew! Hashew! Eh…Haaahhh…aaaahhh…Haahh-CHOO! HA-chew-Eshew! Ha-Chew! Hashew! Echew!...”

As Mercury fumbled with the remainder of her tissues , she prayed that her friend would be able to fight without her help until the rest of the Scouts arrived…

[ilikesneezes2000]

Hey good so far! I don't really know much about Sailor Moon, but I DO know that they look good

[Guest Tri-Jack]

Sneezing AND my favorite senshi. I bow humbled before your presence.

[LemonlimeGH]

Ah, Excellent! Please continue!

[Pseudosneeze]

Sailor Mercury seems to be a common fan favorite. Loved it, by the way. Write more quickly. Include the other Scouts if you can. I know that Sailor Mars has hayfever.

[shy guy]

A great start to the story; I'm looking forward to the conclusion.

By the way, you are a very good writer. Keep up the good work!

[Pseudosneeze]

Somebody really needs to start making artwork to go along with these fetish fics. Can you imagine what this would look like as an episode of Sailor Moon? I get just thinking about it.

[Pilgrim]

Sorry for such a long delay! Someone threw a writers block at my head. Of course I'm going to do all of the Scouts! What kind of fic writer would I be if I didn't? And it is indeed helpfull to know that Mars has hayfever. Thank you all for your compliments! I'll try hard not to disapoint you!

“Collectors are at 13% capacity and climbing. I don’t believe it…”

A red-haired girl of perhaps seventeen years of age scratched her pig-tailed head. She began to rapidly press buttons on her computer.

“I’m checking for a system error.”

“That’ll be the tenth time.” Said the brown-haired young man, “ Face facts, I was right: Sneezes emit magical energy. Which we need to power our machines. So we use the half-machines to Collect the energy from the sneezes that we force with our enslaved monsters. Which we will use to power our machines. Then we’ll use those to take over this world and the Other. It’s the perfect plan.”

“But why do sneezes emit magical energy? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Stop whining. It works. That’s all we need to know.”

***

Sailor Jupiter back-flipped over a park bench to avoid the tree-monsters attack. She turned to look at the park entrance and saw Sailor Mercury, sneezing uncontrollably. “Well, I guess it’s up to me” she thought to herself. She stood on the bench and pointed at the monster, taking a heroic stance just like any good superhero.

“Alright, you oversized shrub, I’ll send you back to the Negaverse alone if I have to.”

The tree-monster raised it’s branch-arms and spoke out of a mouth-shaped knothole in it’s trunk, “Negaverse? Don’t know nuthin about no Negaverse. But ef id’s a fight you want, I’m happy to oblige.” It brought it’s branch-arms down on the bench, crushing it. Jupiter dodged just in time, but was still hit by some debris and some of the green mold that covered most of the monster…

“Hah-shuh! Hah-shuh! Heh-Chuu!”

The mid-air sneezes knocked the Scout off her balance, landing her on her back instead of her feet.

“Rah-shhuuh! Ha-shuh! Ha-shhooee!”

“Hey!” the monster yelled, “Stop sneezing! You’re ruining the drama!”

“S-sorry, but I think I’m a…ahhhh…Ack-ssshtt! Allergic t…Tcchhuh! To you.”

“To me? That’s depressing.” The monster hung its head (or rather body. Trunk?)

Then it suddenly straightend and laughed, “Bwahahahaha! On the other hand, it’s inspired me to create a new special technique! Behold, the Spinning 360 Mold Storm!”

The monster began to spin at a high speed, launching the green mold that covered it into the air, forcing Jupiter into a fit of spraying, wet sneezes.

“ Oh…Huh-Shuh, no…Heerrrchuu! Hechhoo! Ha-Shuh Ha-Chuu Huck-Shuh Heerrr-shuh! Hahhh…hahhhh…Hack-sshhhtt Huh-sshht Huh-ah-sshhtt! Hah-Shuh! Huck-Sshht! Hahhhhhhrrrrraahhh-Shuh! Russhuh! Rraahh-Shuh!”

The tree-monster had taken this chance to approach the disabled Scout.

“Bwahahahahaha! It looks like you lose dis fight. Mebbe yuul haf betta luk nes time, if der was gonna be a nes time. Bwahahaha-!?!?”

“Mars Fire Ignite!”

A blast of flame soared through the air and hit the monster squarely in the back, incinerating him almost instantly. Sailor Mars appeared from behind some a tree, followed by Sailor Venus.

“That was a close one. What were you two thinking, fighting in a park when you both have allergies? Did your medicine wear off or something?”

“But I…Ha-Shuh! Didn’t…Ah-Shuh!” stammered Jupiter.

“Echew!” agreed Amy, who had by now reverted back to her normal self.

“ Both of you go home! You need rest, and we don’t have a chance at making it to school on time now anyway.”

Both the Scouts nodded, sneezed, and began heading off. As Mars also turned to leave, her cell-phone rang.

“Hello? What!?! Another one? We’re coming.” She turned to her companion, “There’s another monster on the rampage. Serena says she can deal until we get there, but we’d better hurry.”

“Two in one day? That’s a record. Something must be seriously wrong.”

“Probably. Oh, well. Let’s go save the world before MY allergy medicine wears off too.” The two Scouts turned and ran out of the park, unaware that there were actually a total of three monsters currently in Japan, and one was right above them…

[Pseudosneeze]

I like where this is going.

[Sternuto]

could someone post a picture of Sailor Moon?

[ilikesneezes2000]

could someone post a picture of Sailor Moon?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

http://www.sailormusic.net/covers/Sailor%2...wa%20Energy.jpg

Just click on the link

Great story so far btw!

[Love_2_Sneeze_666]

Great story so far!

Keep up the good work!

[Sternuto]

ah... NOW I see the attraction!

Yes... yes... Sternuto likes little 14 year old girls with allergies!

[Pseudosneeze]

Sailor Scouts

Here's something from the tokusatsu (live-action) if that helps.

[Pilgrim]

Well, this time I poke some fun at Tuxedo Mask because I hate him. Every time the show would start getting good, he comes in (Yes, I rooted for the villains. I couldn't help it, Jedite was just so cool) There was this one time where they were trapped in an ice rink and he saved them from being half frozen. All of you know the potential he ruined right there. Mangy prick. And how do roses hurt people anyway?

Back on the subject of the story, I tried something new this time: two fits at once! Yeah, it's not done too well, but I'm just practicing, seeing what works, how it works. As usual, feed-back is greatly appreciated!

The young brown-haired man drank long from his glass of wine. He was about to turn his attention back to his steak dinner when a female servant, maybe sixteen years old, entered the dining room. She had long hair that was dyed blue and went down to her elbows and wore thin, round glasses.

“What is it, Lieutenant; I’m in the middle of dinner.”

“Well, sir, as you know it took a great deal of magic to send those three monsters to Earth, and it also took a lot to capture them in the first place…”

“I hope you didn’t interrupt my meal just to tell me things I already know.” The man said, not too harshly, for he was not quick to anger when he was comfortable. The girl may have known this, for she continued without changing her tone,

“And you may also know that the HHH operation didn’t really supply us with a lot of magical energy…”

“Triple H was a field test, not an actual operation. And that reminds me, did we send a thank-you card to the janitor?”

“Yes, I found a lovely one at a drugstore with little bunnies and…”

“Enough already, get to the point!”

“Well, we’re out of magic, and I want to know if you have any intent on acquiring any soon.”

“Of course! Don’t you realize who the Senshi we’re stealing energy from are? They’re superheroes, and royal ones at that! Planetary princesses from Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Mercury, and the Moon! By the time we’re finished with them, do you know how many times we’ll have multiplied our original store of magic?”

“Ummmmm…”

“Why did I make her my chief scientist?” The man thought to himself, not for the first time.

“Five times. Five Senshi, so we’ll have multiplied our store by five times.”

“Really? I though it would be 5.7062 times, factoring in their royalty and own magical experience.”

“Oh yeah, that’s why” The man thought to himself, also not for the first time.

“At any rate, there’s no need to worry. I’ve already got it all figured out.”

“Oh, I wasn’t worried, our Captain was. She told me that there were two fighter jets attacking, and that she wanted me to ask you if you could get any magic quickly, since we have none to fight them with.”

The man spat out the wine he was drinking and jumped up.

“Why didn’t you say we were under attack earlier, you dunderheaded nitwit! Fire up the warp matrix and get us out of here as soon as possible. I’ll go release our emergency monster.”

The man ran down the hall, his long blue cape flowing behind him. He wondered how the situation in Japan was doing…

***

“So where is Serena anyway?”

Sailors Mars and Venus were running as fast as they could out of the park. Both of them knew their fellow Scout was not exactly the best solo fighter .

“In the alley behind the arcade. C’mon, let’s hurry.”

As they reached the gate of the park, a small bird flew over their heads, close enough for them to feel the wind from its wings. The bird landed directly in front of them, and in the blink of an eye, it transformed into a giant stalk of ragweed with root-like legs and long tendril-like arms. Mars stopped dead in her tracks. Unlike Mercury, she had taken allergy medication that morning, but she wasn’t aware of any medication on the planet that would hold up to a giant, pollen covered flower. In fact, she doubted such medication existed in the entire universe.

As her partner stood frozen in fear, Sailor Venus had been grabbed by one of the plants tendrils and thrown far into a tree.

“Owwww…Mars, what are you waiting for? Fry it!”

“Huh? Oh…yeah…I have fire power.” She slowly shook off the looming fear of the possibility of the biggest allergy attack in history, and prepared her attack. Too slowly.

“Rrraaaaaahhhhh!” The plant cried, somehow. It began waving its flowers in a kind of dance, showering Mars with pollen.

“Oh shhiiiiiiISHEEWW! ISSHEEWW! Ah-ISHEEWW! ASHEEWW! Ah-Shew Ha-Shew Ha-Eh-Shew Ah-Tchew HA-SHEEW!”

“Oh, great, her allergies. Ah well, I can take a…cat?” Venus thought, for the giant ragweed had transformed into a giant tabby cat.

“Mrreeowww!” It screeched, and charged the stunned Scout. This time it was her turn to freeze due to fear of a massive allergy attack. After living so long with her own cat, and being around her friends cat whenever she came over, she had developed an allergy to the feline race. Usually allergy medication took care of it, but since this was a school day she hadn’t bothered to take any.

“Ah craaaaATCHOO! Ahhhh-ASHOO! HASHOO! Ahhh….ahhhh-Ahshoo! Hashooee! Ah-Shoo Hashooee Haht-SHOO!”

The giant cat laid down and started purring. It turned it’s attention from one sneezing beauty to the other. Then, losing interest in the situation (as cats often do), it began to groom itself.

“Isheeww! Sadistissheeww! Sadistic liissheeww! Little…Isheew Tcheww Tchewww Eh-Shew! Damn!” Mars wiped her nose with her gloved hand and tried to think of some way to stop herself from sneezing long enough to cast her attack. Nothing that would work came to mind.

“Atchooee! Hashhoo! Ashhoo! Ha-Atchhooee! Ahhh…ahhhh….Ahhh Ah-Shoo!”

Venus couldn’t think of anything either. This was a big problem, as the cat had just transformed into a large grizzly bear, and was now eyeing the scouts with a malicious look. Fortunately for them, there existed in Japan another superhero that had not (for some reason) been targeted by any monsters. A rose flew through the air and hit the bear squarely in the forehead, knocking it down. The mysterious male known as Tuxedo Mask appeared out of no-where, brandishing his cane. In a glorious and unlikely battle that, for the sake of this story only lasted a minute but would probably have taken much longer in the TV show, the shape-shifting monster was defeated and reverted to it’s true form: a small and unimpressive winged imp with big ears. After stomping on it a few times, Tuxedo Mask turned back to the scouts.

“Well, it’s a good thing I arrived just in time to save you with my cane that one must assume is made of pure l33t-ness. Now, where is Sailor Moon?”

“Sheeesshhheeww! She’s…Tcheewww! Ah-Tcheeww! Hehsheeww!”

Seeing her friend couldn’t really speak, Venus decided to try and say what she could.

“Hashhooee! Ashhooee! Ashhoo! Ahhhh…Ashhoo! Arcade!” she gasped.

“I see! Well, it seems as though I, Tuxedo Mask, must once again play the part of the cavalry! Away!” The mysterious hero disappeared , which was odd because it was broad daylight and there wasn’t even a bang or a flash or anything. So it’s more likely he just ran off, although I don’t think he ever ran in the series. He dodged attacks and stuff, but never ran. Just disappeared into the night. Because it always was night when he showed up. Rather convenient he was never needed unless it was night, until now, of course. Oops, I’m ruining the drama. I’ll try that again.

“Now, where is Sailor Moon?”

“She’s…Isheeww! Sheeesshheeww! Ah-Tcheeww! Heh-Isheeww!”

Seeing her friend couldn’t talk, Venus decided to try her luck at speaking.

“Arrrashoo! Ahhh…Ashooee! Hashooee! Ha-Ashhoo! Arcade!” she gasped.

Immediately, the tall, dark hero ran off in the direction of the arcade. He only hoped he wouldn’t be too late…

[Dogma]

haha yeah I rooted for the villains too but I cant help but LOVE Tuxedo Kamen ... maybe its because he has the same seiyuu (voice actor) as Kasuga Kyosuke in Kimagure Orange Road and that is just too funny ;D

[Pseudosneeze]

I always thought Tuxedo Mask was best at entrances. I mean, you know in the Sailor Moon R movie where he's standing in front of the tuxedo store after the rose throw? Classic.

[Pilgrim]

Since there were so many Obs. recently, I decided to take a little break But it you loyal fans kept viewing even though my fic sunk so low. Now if you'd just post once in a while...But I of course I kid. As I said, as long as I know I have one fan yadda yadda, to the story! Oh, and something you probably already figured out, you can Google any of these characters for a picture.

Sailor Moon stared at her opponent, who had earlier called herself Yenaldlooshi. She looked like the average Negaverse monster; a half-naked female that had aspects of some random animal, plant, or machine. This one was part coyote. The only difference was that the average Negaverse monster launched an all-out assault from the start, while this one had only dodged her attacks with lightening speed and hadn’t stuck back once.

“Pollen Bomb!” She suddenly yelled.

“Well at least she yells her attacks like the average Negaverse monster.” Thought the Scout. She jumped out of the way of the golden bomb her foe had tossed at her. It exploded behind her in a cloud of yellow powder, which she made sure to avoid.

“Nya nya, missed me!” She taunted, perhaps unwisely.

“Oh, shut up. That was a practice.” The creature summoned another bomb out of no-where and tossed it, missing again.

“You’re going to have to do better than that!” Again, the blonde heroine taunted.

“Fine! I’ll double up!” The villain summoned a bomb in each hand, which took a few seconds longer than normal, allowing the Scout to launch her own attack.

“Moon Tiara Magic!” She tossed her evil-dispelling tiara () at her foe. It was easily dodged, and the coyote-witch counterattacked with both her bombs, covering Sailor Moon in the yellow powder even as she dodged the worst of the blast.

“Hah-CHOO! Ah-Choo Ah-Choo! Haaahhhhh-CHOO! Eshoo! Kaaahhhh-CHOO! Heh-CHOO! Aaaahhhhhh…aaaahhhhhh…” Her small fit ended in a stuck sneeze, though her nose tickled fiercely, which was something she couldn’t understand. She wasn’t allergic to anything, why was she having such a bad reaction to pollen? Then again, it was pollen that exploded. Maybe it was some kind of freaky space pollen that made everyone sneeze? While the genius that is Serena/Usagi struggled with both her itching nose and her theory on space pollen (which is actually close to the truth, save the name of space pollen, as this monster wasn't from space), her enemy chuckled to her self as she moved into position for another attack.

“Oh, does the little girl have a stuck sneeze? Let me help you with that. Pollen Storm!” Yenaldlooshi aimed her bombs at the sky above, raining the gold powder down over the entire alley they were fighting in.

“Aaahhh-CHOO! Haaahhh-CHOOOOAaahhhh-CHOOO! Eh-Choo Heeehhiii-ChooooHiii-ChooEhhhh-CHOO! Hahh-ChooHeeee-ChooHaaahhh-Choo! Ahhhh…haaaahh…Ahhhhh CHOO Choo Hi-Choo Ah-CHOO!” The superheroine sank to her knees in a sneezy despair. She couldn’t believe that she was going to lose not to a more powerfull opponent but to an allergy attack! As she looked up at the monster that faced her, prepared for the worst, a dark shadow passed overhead, and the fallen Scouts heart skipped a beat.

“Take this, foul demon!” The one and only Tuxedo Mask had arrived at the last possible moment to save his true love, and slayed the monster with his rose of righteousness! After the beast had fallen, he turned to his love, and they looked in each other’s eyes blah blah blah the story’s over, okay? You got what you wanted, leave me alone for a while. And if you want a little more humor and plot keep reading. But you won’t get more sneezes. Well, maybe one…

***

The brown-haired mans lieutenant stared at the monitors before her. She wasn’t nearly as surprised as her fellow officer at the amount of magic they were getting from the Senshi. She wasn’t even really paying attention to the gauges. The blue-haired youth was actually thinking about Tuxedo Mask, who she was watching through one of the castles many cameras. Specifically, it was his use of roses as weapons that intrigued her. They seemed to be a trademark of his. Her boss had the same trademark, in fact his royal title was the Prince of Roses. There wasn’t a King of Roses, he just insisted on that name because he didn’t really have much of a kingdom and so was only suited to be called a Prince. But this Tuxedo Mask could also be part of this royal rose family, though now that she thought about it, she hadn’t ever heard of any other rose-related royalty, much less a kingdom.

“Ha-Chew!” She sneezed, and snapped back to attention. Whenever she spaced out for long periods of time, she always sneezed once. And she had a tendency to space out a lot, so she sneezed fairly often also. She didn’t know why, and had never really thought about it. But just as she began thinking about it now, the doors behind her burst open.

“Well, those seeker missles sure took down our drake fast. I’ve never seen a creature explode before, have you?” It was the Prince, followed closely by his red-haired captain.

“Well, when I was little and I was real bored…”

“Hey Lieutenant, I hope you’ve already got the matrix fired up, because if we don’t move in about ten seconds, this place is gonna turn into one helluva fireworks show, courtesy of the Japanese Air Force.”

Even as he was speaking, the entire castle had begun to shimmer, and in less than ten seconds it vanished with a brilliant rainbow flash, much to the bewilderment of several Japanese pilots flying overhead.

[ilikesneezes2000]

Still a great story!

If they some how magically decided to make episodes like this I would definitely watch!

[Pilgrim]

I'm bumping this because I don't think the final chapter got its 15 min of fame, and besides I'm gonna post something else and this will probably get knocked down again really quickly because no one ever replies (thanks a million to those of you that do, though) People keep viewing, and I haven't been told to stop yet, so I'm gonna keep writing Maybe that'll teach some of you some respect! :shakesfist:

[Pseudosneeze]

Calm down, dude. Replies aren't everything. I really like where you're going with this story. Include some of the Outer Scouts if at all possible.

[Pilgrim]

Calm down, dude. Replies aren't everything. I really like where you're going with this story. Include some of the Outer Scouts if at all possible.

Errm, actually, that was meant to be the last chapter. My post was just an excuse to whine. But, I wouldn't feel right refusing my very first encore, so I guess I'll write one more chapter. Congradulations, you've convinced me! But then that's it! I'll have another fic to worry about soon! And if you cheer me for another one I'l have to write it and get overworked! So don't do that again! Unless you really want it...

[InLivingColor]

yeah, I agree with Pseudosneeze on this, you are a good writer when it comes to sneeze fiction (sorry, haven't read anything else of yours so can't give an honest review) but if the "outer scouts" are anything like the five I know, then please, but your brain to this unless you are going to write your HP fic soon.

[Pilgrim]

Well, things got out of hand really quickly, and my last chapter by reason of encore became...I don't even know how many! I had no control over the matter. I'm hardly responsible for all the follwing chapters. But, since I'm leaving for a few weeks, you can think of it as a little parting gift. I've posted them seperately, so read them right and it'll be like I never left. A lot of credit goes to Pseudosneeze for giving me my first encore. And I really don't put a lot of stake in replies, I just like to get them. Unlike some people, who won't write at all unless there's so-and-so number of replies, I'll write as long as there is at least one person reading them. They don't even have to tell me, so long as I know they're there, I'll still keep writing. Enjoy the thrilling end of this story, and I mean that this time!

Ho! One more time

I'm back with a new rhyme.

Hey! Here we go again, ha

Turn it up my friend.

No! We don't stop, ha

We rock the spot.

No! We don't quit

Get ready ya'll this is it.

Do you like the dream?

Hey, I like the dream, baby.

Do you like the dream?

Ho, I like the dream, mama.

Do you like to scream?

Hey, I like the scream, baby.

Do you like to scream?

Ho, so scream it out.

The blue-haired officer looked down the hallway at her boss’ room. Sometimes, when the Prince was in a celabratory mood, he’d play music really loudly. This was one of those times. Well, he had come up with a brilliant plan. In the future of the same spot they’d left, there were nearly double the number of Senshi on the planet. He wanted to take magic from all of them. But why’d he play this song? They were still just doing what they would do every day. What was it about today that made it like a dream?

Ooh-la-da-di-la-da-da

Take me anyway you please, boy you're making me scream.

Ooh-la-da-di-la-da-da

You gotta dream a little dream.

***

“ITTSSCHHH! Ha-ITTSSCHH Tch-ITTSSCHOO! Haahhh-Ahhhh-ITTSCHHH!” One Michiru of Tokyo, Japan, sniffed wetly and groped for the tissues at her bedside. This was the third day she’d been laid up in bed because of her cold. She found a tissue and blew wetly into it, then slumped back into her bed.

“Are you feeling any better?”

Michiru’s partner, Haruka, entered her room with a tray of soup and orange juice.

“ITSSCHH!” Michiru answered her.

“Awwww, poor thing. But you know, you’ve got to get better soon. It can’t get out that a Scout was beaten by the common cold. We’ve got an image to protect!”

“*Sniff* Dot helpig.” Two days ago Michiru might of blushed at the sound of her stuffed-up voice. By now she was used to it.

“I’m just teasing, you know.” Said Haruka.

“I dow, I’b dust tired ob dis code” She gratefully accepted the tray, and after a swallow of the juice continued, “Ids really lukgy you haven’t cau…Ahhhh-ITTSCHHH…caughd id.”

“Yeah, two sneezing Scouts, helplessly confined to their bedroom, would really make us the laughing stock of the universe.”

Michiru blew her nose in agreement. At that moment the phone rang, and was quickly answered by Haruka.

“Hello? What? I’m there.” She turned to Michiru. “There’s a monster attacking the comic shop. Can you survive alone for a little while?”

“ITTSCCHH! Ah ITTSCCHH! Hahh-Hiiii-ITTSCCHH!” She nodded and smiled weakly.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be gone long.”

***

“Won’t be gone long? The Hell!” The Prince, who had been looking through one of the spy cameras, scowled and began typing on a near-by console. “I’ll teach you to underestimate me! Lousy superheroes, no respect for the villains anymore. Thinks my monsters are just little run-of-the-mill inconveniences, huh?”

“Ummmm, sir?”

“What? Is the Air Force shooting at us again?”

“No, we’re just using up a lot of power with the transporters and the time machine, and we don’t have any monsters left, so we’ll have to go to the other Realm and use up magic, and those cameras use a lot of power, and…”

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll be fine. NO, YOU MORON, THE OTHER ONE!”

The Prince had turned his attention back to the screen, and had begun shouting at a monster that was surrounded by four scouts.

***

“Mercury Ice Bubbles!”

Sailor Mercury defended herself against a sudden attack from the creature with her ice attack. The limber monster dodged with ease. It was not incredibly odd-looking; it had the appearance of a small, furry human, with candles for fingers. It counterattacked with a fire attack fired from one of these fingers. Mercury barely dodged, and part of her skit caught fire. As she struggled to put it out, the little demon laughed with glee.

“Jupiter Thunder Dragon!”

Sailor Jupiter summoned a huge dragon made of pure electricity, which began chasing the laughing demon. It merely skipped away, allowing the dragon to gain on it. Then, at the last minute, it jumped high in to the air, sending the dragon into a telephone-pole and blowing the both of them out. The demon laughed maniacally at the resulting sparks.

“Try this then: World Shaking!” Sailor Uranus’ attack sent huge chunks of earth at the little beast, which simply stared at them, grinning.

CRUNCH!

“Ewww.” Said Sailor Moon.

“Man I’m glad we don’t have to clean up after ourselves.” Sailor Jupiter, and she and the rest of the scouts changed back to their civilian forms. “Why didn’t that little pyromaniac dodge your attack, do you think?”

“No idea. Maybe you guys tired him out. Anyway, I’ve got to get back to Michiru, so see ya at school” Haruka had changed into her T-shirt and jeans. She usually wore boys clothing as a preference. Saillor Moon often blushed at this, as it brought up the memory of when she and the other Scouts had asked her what her gender was, as they couldn’t tell when they first met.

“Better hurry. It looks like rain” She called after Haruka.

Funny, it was clear and warm when I left, Haruka thought to herself. Haruka started the run back to her apartment. She was fairly prone to catching colds, but could hide them extremely well. Most of the time not even Michiru could tell. As she ran, the first drops of rain began to fall. Then…

“Snow?” Haruka stoped and looked up at he sky questioningly. Sure enough, it had indeed began to snow. It was late spring, way to early for any snowfall, much less what was beginning to look like a potential storm.

Haruka whipped out her cell phone to call the other Scouts, but apparently it had run out of batteries. Haruka would have to call them at her house. Once again she began to run through the freak storm, because that’s what it was by now. Every few seconds she wiped her nose with the back of her hand, praying that she could get home before she became worse than her partner. By the time she got to the apartment she and Michiru had begun to share when Michiru got sick, she knew her prayers had gone unanswered. She wiped her nose with her hand, and hoped the redness of her face from jogging would hide the redness of her nose.

“Hiiii-hiiii-HITTSSCHHH! Itcheeww Itcheeww Hiiiiiii-ITTSSCHHH!”

Michiru's greeting of sneezes raised a surprise a tickle in Haruka’s nose and she sneezed thrice before she could stifle them.

“Tcheew Tcheew TCHOO!"

Michiru sat up straight in her bed.

“Oh Doe! Oo’re dot catchig by code, are oo?”

Haruka decided it would be best not to try to hide the obvious.

“Nah, just a little sniffle I caught from that freak snowstorm. I’ll call the others about it in a minute. Right now I think I better just lie down.”

Michiru moved over and Haruka got into bed with her. As she reached for the tissues, Michiru smiled.

“What was it you were saying earlier? Two Scouts confined to…”

“Not one more word, Michiru. Not…one…word”

[Pilgrim]

For those of you that care, I'm using the Japanese names now because the English ones for the Outer Scouts really suck. Hard. For the first ones I thought it was an improvement mostly but...Haruka=Amara? As Homer says the bible says, "Screw That!" Also, I made sure not to point out whether Michiru and Haruka were lovers or cousins, as the English and Japanese versions disagree. So whichever you like more, run with that. This is the last chapter, and then I'm off to Kawai Tuesday morning, so enjoy it. But, I'm open to constructive criticism. That doesn't mean I'll listen, but I'm open to it. Keep in mind I wrote all this in a week, though. That's pretty impressive, I think. Not saying you need to praise me or anything, just sayng it's something to think about. Here's the end:

“Ha! Take that, you cocky little ingrate! That’s what you get for killing a Yan-gant-y-tan! Worst luck in the world. I had no idea how bad though. Snow in spring, that was unexpected”

“Don’tcha think that having a Calabim stalk her’s a little harsh, though?”

“Maybe I’ll move him. Later. Right now, I want to know how the others are fairing”

The red-head lazily turned to a computer screen, “Already on it, sir. Balseraph’s hunting down a target now.”

“Excellent! We’ll have all the power we need yet! Score one for the bad guys! Ah hahhahaha!”

The red-head fixed one eye on her boss. “You enjoy this waaayyyyy to much”

The Prince flushed and for a second and looked embarrassed. But he quickly regained his composure and made a serious face. “Of course! We’re taking over the world here! This is every man’s dream I’m living!”

The girl grinned the way a child does when she’s just figured out a secret. “Yeah, right. That’s your ultimate goal, huh? Right...Hey, the Balseraph’s going for her. How…unlucky.”

“Indeed. Let’s hope our monsters remember to go after the other ones too. I want the lot of them drained, if I have to do it myself”

***

“TCHEW! TCHOO! Haaah-TCHEEW! Ahhhh…ahhhhh…ahhh…damn, it’s stuck”

Haruka had been in bed with Michiru for ten minutes now. Their phone had broken, and Haruka had decided that the other Scouts could deal with the storm.

“ITTSSCCHHH! Ah-ITTSCHHH ITTCHHOO!”

As before, Michiru’s sneezes triggered a tickle in Haruka’s own nose and launched her into her own fit.

“TCHEW! Ah-TCHEW! Tchoo Tchoo Ah-Tchew Tchew Hya-TCHOO!”

And afteword, Haruka suddenly felt much better, like her cold had suddenly disappeared. She lept out of bed and flexed a few muscles to make sure she was as good as she felt. A little slow, but not too bad. She grabbed several tissues, blew satisfyingly wetly into them, and began to get dressed.

“Haruka, whad are oo doig?”

“I think I’m cured. Guess that wasn’t more than a little sniffle. I’ll probably come down with something serious later, but right now, I’m feeling good enough to go fight some evil!”

And before Michiru could object, Haruka was dressed in her warmest clothes and out the door.

***

“Ha-chuu!”

Setsuna, otherwise known as Sailor Pluto, had been walking around the town for an hour now. She had sensed a disturbance in time itself, and was searching for it’s cause. But the sudden snowstorm had made her search difficult, and she had turned back to go home with the hope of escaping the storm before falling ill. She had failed miserably.

“Ha-Chuu! Ha-Shuu! Ahhhh-CHUU!”

As Setsuna reached for a handkerchief in her pocket, she saw her fellow Scout run by her, sneezing uncontrollably. As she began to ask what her friend’s hurry was, Haruka collapsed, shivering with cold. Setsuna used her cell-phone to send an emergency e-mail to all her fellow Scouts, and then moved to help her fallen friend. As soon as she had taken several steps, however, she burst into a sneezing fit that almost knocked her down as well.

“HA-SHUU! ChuuChuuChuuAh-Chuu! Heh-Shuh Hahhhh-CHUU!”

As the Scout tried once again to approach her fallen friend, a red, horned humanoid demon with bat-wings appeared before her. Fire leapt from it’s eyes and mouth, and as it leered at Setsuna she knew that this demon was causing her's and Haruka's problems. To fight it she would have to transform, however.

“Mahhh-Shuu! Magic…Ahhchoo! Ah-Choo! Ha-Shuu! Make-UpgkCHUU! Huh-CHUU! Hah-CHUU Huh-SHUU Ahhh-SHUU!”

Due to her sneezing, she couldn’t say the magic words that would transform her into a Sailor Scout. She sank to the ground, and felt the demon draining her energy, and Haruka’s, who would not live much longer without what little she had. The demon loomed closer, ready to extinguish the lives of the both of them, and then, as though it had just received a very loud order telepathically, it stopped and flew into the air with another, similar-looking demon. Then, in a flash of rainbow-colored light, they vanished.

***

“Alright, show’s over, let’s get out of here!”

“Not a moment too soon” Agreed the Prince’s Captain, “Another minute and those other Senshi would have wiped our demons of the planet. These guys are way too good at their job to let die. I couldn't believe the Balseraph had that girl believing she was better”

"Hah-Chew! Ummmmm, we're ready to warp now"

“Well, we didn’t get all the Senshi, but we got enough. Let’s blow this time period!”

“You got it, boss.”

And the castle once again was covered in a brilliant rainbow light, and in the blink of an eye it was gone from Japan. At least, gone from that time in Japan.