Another Halloween-type Story :D - (4 Parts)

[Garnet]

Hey folks, here's some stupid crap I was scribbling out today about one of the characters I used to write a loooong time ago. I just recently redrew him, figured I might as well rewrite him as well, but then it turned into something fetishy ;p

Anyway, it sort of fits with the Halloween theme, although that probably won't become more apparent until later in the story. I've got a bit more written to this, will post if there's interest.

Also, here's his picture.

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There was someone breathing beside him. The sound was singularly distinguishable from the other, more familiar apartment noises, the tick of the clock, the hum of the refridgerator in the kitchen, the dull creaks of an old apartment building forever adjusting to the whims of the weather and seasons.

In a fit of panic, Nikoli sat up and immediately wished he hadn't, as the effects of the empty bottles of vodka lying on the floor from last night came rushing back to him. Suppressing a groan, he fought back the wave of nausea and blur of painful images and tore back the sheets draped over the person beside him.

A man? No, a woman this time, although either would have been likely. She was pretty enough, all long white planes and soft curves, strands of dark hair obscuring her face as her small breast rose and fell in a drunken slumber. Loathe to wake her, it was tentatively that he slid a large hand over her shoulder and thigh, inspecting every inch of her he could manage without disturbing her from the realm of dreams. Relief replaced the cold dread that had crept over his mind and stomach when his wandering fingertips met with nothing but smooth and unbroken skin. No sign of claw or toothmarks had torn her tender flesh. Good.

A quickly throbbing flash of bloody imagery swarmed into his brain unbidden once more, visions or memories from incidents previous that had not ended so well. The nausea returned, and Nikoli clutched at his head, temples pounding, and staggered to the bathroom. By the time he'd reached its sterile, refreshing whiteness, the sensation had blessedly abated, leaving him only with a peculiar soreness in his throat and queer burning in the back of his sinuses. He should have known he'd be able to hold his booze better than that, even if it was the hard stuff. Leaning over the sink, he grasped its cool porcelain contours between his palms and took a moment to center himself, sparing a brief glance in the mirror above the basin to assess the state he was in.

Ugh. Although he had a handsome face to begin, long and angular with the kind of thoughtful definition to his brow and nose befitting of a scholar, he had certainly seen better days. Mornings. Was it morning? Sparing a glance aside to a digital clock on the counter, Nikoli groaned. He had appointments today, just a few, but the thought alone inspired a sense of dread in his mind unlike the usual whining of his mental child reluctant to get up and go to work. Hmnf.

They would be quick, he decided, and then he could return home and delve back into his research. For the first time in months, he thought he'd almost found a promising lead yesterday, but it had terminated in the dead end which had, as he now recalled, inspired last night's excursion to the bar in the first place. Which explained the presence of the woman still sleeping in his bed, whose name he couldn't recall for the life of him. Sylvia? Cynthia? Damn.

Drawing a dark robe about his lean and still decidedly naked form, Nikoli cupped a hand beneath the faucet to collect a palmful of water. He'd been just about to duck down to lap up its contents when the curiously canine implications of that very action convinced him to abruptly abort the gesture and take a step backwards, trembling despite the complaining soreness of his throat denied its salvation. A cup, yes. Real humans drank from cups.

He shuddered and collected himself, poised to step back out into the rest of his apartment again when all at once the lingering pressure in his sinuses surged into a full-fledged tickle. The hell? Yes, that was most definitely a sneeze coming on, as if the hesitant and involuntarily catch of breath in his lungs wasn't enough. With half a mind devoted to the effort of preserving the sleeping woman's state still, Nikoli braced a hand upon the sink and pressed the other up beneath his long nose. These had always seemed to take a fair bit more out of him, since....well...since...

"Heht- tschuh!" He sneezed abruptly against the side of his hand, the sound contained as much as he could manage without fear of his sinuses collapsing. "Hh... hh! Huh'TSCHHt! Tiscchuh!"

Annoyed, Nikoli squinted at his reflection in the mirror accusingly, as though it were responsible for the unrelenting quiver in the back of his noses that promised at least one more before his body was afforded relief. Blast, he'd better not be coming down with somethi-- "HhrMMHPHSHH!" That last one had been smothered promptly into the sleeve of his robe, but apparently his efforts were to no avail as a sleepy, silvery voice drifted from the next room.

"Doctor?"

Ah yes, he remembered now her tendency to call him that last night, even when he'd reminded her

numerous times that his name was Nikoli and that they weren't in a professional environment. Oh well, he supposed, everybody had their quirks, and although that bar hadn't been exactly...seedy, he imagined that not many people with degrees were found milling about there.

"Da?" He called back in his habitual Russian, snatching a tissue from a nearby box to contain the sniffles that now plagued him.

"Bless you."

The bidding surprised him a little, so rarely did he hear it nowadays living alone as he did. But damn,

now he'd have to remember her name if she was going to want to engage in early morning conversation. "Thank you."

His sinuses remained slightly unhappy with him, to his dismay, but when it became apparent that he would be yielding to no further convulsive fits as a result of their prickling, Nikoli emerged back into the bedroom to begin the delicate task of the "morning after" conversation. To his surprise, the girl was sitting on the edge of the bed and already pulling her pants on. She flashed him an apologetic grin. "Sorry, that was absolutely fantastic but I've got to get to work. Can I leave you my number?"

He frowned to himself in private, even as he migrated towards his own dresser. She was a nice girl, but he highly doubted that he'd call her back. After Anita he doubted he very much doubted he would be going on any more second dates ever again, or at least until this.... whatever it was cleared up.

Cleared up, hah. As if it was something so minor as a cold. Although, his body had apparently decided to bestow that upon him as well, he thought bitterly to himself as the delicate, flickering irritation in the back of his nose flared again like a gleeful little taunt. "Hh'nhmff!"

Sniff. "Of course you can, excuse me."

She blessed him again. "I hope you're not coming down with something? I was sick a few weeks ago, but I don't think I'd still b-- "

"Huh'TSCHHuh!"

"...be carrying it."

He thanked her again, dismissed it as a seasonal allergy, and they parted ways ten minutes later, her with an elated and rather hopeful little grin, and him with a forced smile to hide the dark thoughts that swam just behind his eyes. He glanced down at the paper in his palm with her phone number scratched onto it. So her name was Sylvia after all.

To be continued... oooh! ;p

[vote_for_pedro]

Loved it! And the guy in the picture looks like someone I work with. Can't wait till part 2 comes out!

[tma]

Love the drawing. *grins*

I really enjoyed the interplay between the two and I have lots of questions which I hope to discover answers to as you continue. I really enjoy how you put in some hints and clues of things to come but leave things still shadowed to where you just Have to read more.

Plus- wonderful description.

Thanks!

[Sneesee]

Mmmm, love it! More please! Yummy!

[And Beat Him When He Sneezes]

Loved it! And the guy in the picture looks like someone I work with. Can't wait till part 2 comes out!

You work with a giant bipedal wolf?

[March Hare]

Loved it! And the guy in the picture looks like someone I work with. Can't wait till part 2 comes out!

You work with a giant bipedal wolf?

she wrote the guy in the pic, not the beast

anywhy.... this is GOOD stuff, Garnet honey, do post some more!

[vote_for_pedro]

Loved it! And the guy in the picture looks like someone I work with. Can't wait till part 2 comes out!

You work with a giant bipedal wolf?

she wrote the guy in the pic, not the beast

anywhy.... this is GOOD stuff, Garnet honey, do post some more!

Thanks, Sanne. Glad someone gets me. Although it would make for an interesting day if there was a wolfman running around the cubicle farm!

[Garnet]

Loved it! And the guy in the picture looks like someone I work with. Can't wait till part 2 comes out!

You work with a giant bipedal wolf?

she wrote the guy in the pic, not the beast

anywhy.... this is GOOD stuff, Garnet honey, do post some more!

Thanks, Sanne. Glad someone gets me. Although it would make for an interesting day if there was a wolfman running around the cubicle farm!

Hee, that I'd like to see Glad you enjoyed the drabble, folks. I've got a little bit more floating around my hard drive, we'll see if I can stop drawing and start writing for five minutes to work on it.

[Garnet]

Aaaand here's a bit more.

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Hours later, holed up in his office and only half-listening to the woman in the chair by the window confess problems with her spouse to him, Nikoli stared at the nameplate on his desk and wondered why he hadn't simply rescheduled his appointments today. Doctor Nikoli Kiryakov, Psychiatrist, it read. He swallowed against the mild pain in his throat and refocused his gaze upon his current patient, still prattling away obliviously. The thought crossed his mind, as it frequently did these days, that in his current condition he was more in need of a psychiatrist than most of the people he saw coming through his door. Since the...accident, he was certainly not unaware that try as he might to maintain the same gently understanding outward appearances, his moods were much more prone to taking turns for the worse, becoming bitter or even violent in a manner that horrified him to recollect on later.

Fortunately, such things did not occur in the office environment often, if at all. Working through other people's problems with them sometimes seemed to be the only thing that kept him sane. The more involved cases were, of course, his favorite, not for the suffering involved but rather for the challenge and the subtle change for the better that he saw with each appointment. The woman in his chair currently was not one such case, and with whatever malady that had decided to plague him eating steadily away at his immune system as the day drew on, his phenomenal patience was beginning to dwindle a little.

"And I guess I just don't really feel like he understands that, you know?"

"Heht'Tschhuh!" He sneezed abruptly in response, just barely managing to get a tissue from box to nose in time. "Uhn. Pardon."

The woman eyed him cautiously. "That's the third time you've sneezed in five minutes, Doctor. Are you alright?"

Wiping his nose cautiously, Nikoli offered her a tired smile. "Quite." He cleared his throat, and moved on. "In any case, Susanne, I understand the feelings of depression you're experiencing, but I don't think medication is necessary at this point." The woman looked mildly disappointed, and Nikoli gave a mental eyeroll. He was one of the few in his field possessed by the mindset that more drugs weren't always better. In fact, most of the time they seemed to be detrimental to the entire operation. Instead, he gave the woman the standard pep talk and wrote down the name and number of a good marriage counselor he happened to know.

When she'd taken her leave, he waited for the final click of the door closing in her wake before dropping himself face-down upon his desk, groaning vocally. He didn't want to be in his own skin, feeling sore and exhausted and restless all at once, as though he wanted to tear through a wall and abruptly sleep for a week afterwards. The obscene amounts of sneezing he kept finding himself subjected to certainly did not help matters, either.

The thought alone seemed to trigger the tickle, and with hopeless resignation, he reached for the box of tissues on his desk being rapidly depleted, and gathered another beneath his nose. "Huh...!" He sat there poised like that for several moments, expression trembling somewhere between agony and and annoyance. The satisfaction of release evaded him, however, terminating the sensation into only another frustrated noise and the balling of the tissue in one fist.

Just one more appointment, he assured himself privately. Typically he was not a fan of forcing himself to work when his heart was not in it, as the results would no doubt end poorly for both himself and the patient in question, but just as unprofessional as listening with only one ear would be ducking out of a scheduled meeting time at the last minute. No doubt his last patient was already on their way here, anyway.

His fingertips hooked beneath his collar, loosening it to grant him some much-needed air. He could tough it out for another hour or two. Hopefully.

His receptionist, at least, had been kind enough to bring him soup in a thermos, earlier, the dregs of which he now surveyed with silent longing as he pulled up the files on this next visitor, taking stock of what sort of work he had laid out before him before he could retreat home beneath the covers with a box of Kleenex, and maybe give that woman a call...

No. Nevermind. That was completely out of the question.

Instead, he refocused his attention upon the contents of the manilla folder in front of him containing several medical forms and a short debriefing from the physician that the patient had apparently been referred by. Male, thirty-four, suspected therianthropic delusions. What the hell was that vague report supposed to mean? Dubiously, Nikoli ran a thumb down the line of his slender jaw, and scowled at the textured coarseness that was already defying the efforts of his quick shave this morning. For months after the accident, he'd attempted to keep up with it on a much more devoted basis, until he found himself grooming on the hour almost obsessively. Eventually, he had eventually simply resigned himself to the idea that there were some changes in his body that he would put on the back burner.

He was on the brink of slipping into brooding annoyance again, when all at once both a knock at the door and a sudden, unbidden tickle in the back of his nose roused him from his musings. For a moment, he sat panicked, unsure of which call for his attention he should submit to first. Fortunately, his nose decided for him, as a swift breath and subsequent expulsion thereof jerked his head down half a foot. "Heht'shihh!" He paused, wrinkling his nose and unwilling to sit back up just yet. "...Hh'TSSCCHUH!"

Ugh, god, that one had felt rather good. Pressing a tissue quickly beneath his nose to ward off the presence of any more, Nikoli straightened himself with a sniffle and called towards the entrance, "Come in."

A man that had matched the description in the report he'd just glanced over made his way in, looking around a bit shiftily but eventually settling himself in the chair that the psychiatrist beckoned him to. He was nothing to write home about, neither handsome nor homely, wearing slightly rumpled clothes and possessing for all the world an image of the average suburbanite. Or at the most, someone who might still be living in his parents' basement.

Mustering a faint smile, Nikoli extended a hand. "Good morning..." A quick glance at the file. "David? I'm Dr. Kiryakov, but you may certainly call me Nikoli, or whatever suits you." When the other man had engaged in a quick handshake and withdrawn just as quickly back upon himself, Nikoli refolded his hands in his lap and studied the patient thoughtfully. "What seems to be troubling you?"

'David' shifted a little in his chair, and generally looked uneasy for a moment, before pulling himself together enough to look the psychiatrist in the eye. "I'm a werewolf," he declared quietly.

[vote_for_pedro]

Damn, you really know how to keep people hooked! Fabulous ending. And I'm really loving poor Nikoli. Garnet, you rock.

[Garnet]

Damn, you really know how to keep people hooked! Fabulous ending. And I'm really loving poor Nikoli. Garnet, you rock.

Heehee, I'm not done yet. Forgot to add a To Be Continued to that installment. But yay, glad you are liking him! He's pathetic.

[tma]

Ooooo!!! Love it. Am totally intrigued.

Very glad that it has a "tbc" at the end (whether forgotten or not).

[Guest superimmunegirl]

I love this story!!! Oh please write more!!!

Nikoli is wonderfully appealing, as is his cold. The writing is excellent. The plot is terrific and I'd want to keep reading even if it didn't include sneezing! Thank you so much for posting.

[Guest Dani]

This is wonderful! I can't wait for the next piece to be posted Thanks so much for writing this, and please, do keep going!

[Garnet]

Squee! Once again, thank y'all SO much for the awesome comments! Makes me all too happy to keep writing the next paaarts! Glad that people are liking it so far, and as proof that I haven't burnt out yet (holy crap, I actually have SOME notion of where I'm going with this fic!), here's the next installment. It's a little light in the sneezing, but I promise there will be much more to come in the next parts.

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Unsure whether to be amused, disdainful, or simply perplexed, Nikoli furrowed his brows until a slight trench appeared betwixt them, and sat back. "I see," he murmured after a moment, when he'd found his voice. Patients had a habit of constantly surprising him with their stark and often absurd admissions, but he had to confess that this was not one he'd heard before. It touched an inner chord with him that was more than a little uncomfortable, and it took him another few seconds before he could continue.

"And what makes you believe this?"

The man squirmed again, as though surprised at the question. "It's..." He trailed off, and seemed to find himself a moment later, steeling his nerves. "I don't just believe it, doctor. It's true. I have the spirit of a wolf, and I've just recently realized that I think I am part wolf, as well."

Bitterly, Nikoli mused to himself that if this were true, he would have right to be jealous of this David person. For all of the physical abnormalities that had resulted of his unfortunate condition, hours of speculation had eventually come to the conclusion that it was really only the lack of unity between mind and body that made him so miserable. Man inside beast, beast inside man, both vying for dominance over his being but neither fully succeeding. There wasn't even a middle ground, most of the time, but merely a constantly shifting field of battle.

Frankly, it was depressing to think about, but perhaps this other man did have some notion of what he was talking about. Thoughtfully, his fingertips migrated to his temple as he inquired next, "Alright, why a wolf?"

David's eyes lit up. "They're beautiful. I just... this current crop of humans that populates the planet is disgusting, they lie and and maim and kill and destroy the environment, basically they're just shitting in their own beds and they don't even care," he began. "I think just the fact that I'm aware of that sets me a little apart from them automatically..."

"Fair enough," Nikoli acknowledged.

"So I thought, what if I'm not really meant to be a human? What if I'm supposed to be something else that feels all the pain they're causing, something more...primal? And wolves, I don't know, they're just so powerful, protective, gentle, intelligent all at once. Every time I see one on tv or whatever, I feel like I should be out there, running with my brothers."

While that sort of mindset was not usually the norm to be found among society, Nikoli found no major complaint with the manner in which David's thoughts were progressing, and stroked his jaw again thoughtfully. "I'll assume that you're familiar with the idea of therianthropy, then," he prompted. The other man nodded quickly. "Most of them find some inner balance between their human and animal sides, or only 'assume' the role in mental or dream states."

Again, David nodded impatiently.

"I suppose you'll have to tell me just what you mean by werewolf, then," Nikoli finished, attempting to keep the wryness from his tone, and from keeping his hand from migrating to rub at his nose again as it so desperately wanted to.

The other man snorted. "I mean I'm not just a wolf mentally or subconsciously or whatever, I can become one in physical shape. Ears, tails, paws, everything."

"Only when the moon is full?"

"....yes."

Nikoli looked back at the other man for several long moments, assessing him studiously. David stared back, uncomfortable, frequently looking aside for little splitseconds, or smoothing some random piece of clothing. The psychiatrist knitted his brow again. This man had obviously recognized the many failings of humanity as a whole, where nature had succeeded for millenia before, but there was no wolf dwelling behind his eyes. Only a rather disoriented and confused man unsure of how to deal with the disgust he held for himself.

That, at least, he could relate to. Setting down a clipboard he'd been scribbling a few notes on, Nikoli paused a moment to allow his sinuses their whims before continuing. Patiently dissolving what for some people was their reality was slightly more difficult when he had a terrible urge to sneeze. "Ex.. excuse me... Hht'SCHUH!"

He picked his head up, squinting cautiously. Nope. "Hept'Tschhht! ... Huh...HEISSHuh!!"

David blinked at him inquisitively.

"Sorry. Coming down with something, I think," Nikoli offered in explanation as he dabbed a tissue beneath his nose cautiously. That was putting lightly, he thought to himself as he squirmed a little in his seat, unconsciously mimicing David. Since when had it gotten so uncomfortable warm in here? He gave a quick clear of his throat, trying not to wince, before he pressed on again. "Anyway, David, I can see that you share a closeness with the natural world that many people are not aware of."

The man brightened, but Nikoli only continued in that same gentle tone. "I agree that as a species, we do some pretty horrible things to Mother Earth." An emphatic nod met his comments. The psychiatrist smiled gently. "But have you ever considered that the world needs you as a human?"

That caught David off guard a little, and his fidgetting displayed it clearly. "What...what do you mean?"

"I mean that while it's alright for you to feel empowered by the wolf, even use it as an icon of sorts, you can do more things as you are now to fix the problems around you than you could running through the wild on all fours." David looked at him skeptically. Nikoli smiled again, only a little forced. "Would you rather be the wolf that got airgunned, or the human that succeeded in getting the sport banned altogether?"

"I guess I didn't...really think about it like that."

The next hour or more was spent in physical discomfort, and yet mental satisfaction as he gently coaxed out the reaffirmation of David's faith in humanity. As before, when the session ended Nikoli had offered several more explosive sneezes, but no medication. Instead, he had rescheduled David for a future meeting, and pointed him in the direction of some research that he might well find useful. By the end of the hour, he was enthused enough to even seize Nikoli's hand and shake it eagerly. For a moment, he was almost afraid the other man might kiss him, but was fortunately spared the embarassment as David settled.

When he had left Nikoli to his peace in the office again, the psychiatrist sat and reflected a little space. All in all, David had been a perfectly nice man, once they had seperated the realistic ideas from the absurd. After all, no one he had ever heard of could make the actual physical transformation from human to animal that his patient had seemed so initially proud of.

Except him. And it was hardly something to be spoken about with joy.

Nikoli stared after him for a moment longer, then put his head down in his arms and wept quietly.

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TBC....

[tma]

wow!!

You just Had to stop there didn't you?

I am Really enjoying this- a Lot. And this isn't necessarily my normal type of "genre". I just Love the character exploration and how things are revealed slowly- in pieces. And the pyschology of it all.

Wonderful!

[Geist]

Okay, now I KNOW I replied to this, but for some reason it was either deleted or didn't show up! If it was deleted, I'm kind of annoyed.

So, I will say it again!

That's DAMNED fine writing, Garnet my dear. I really like Nikki and his emo angsty "omfg, I'm a BEAST IN DENIAL!" persona. Hehehe....

Of course, you know how I am about sex. I was sort of hoping he'd eat the woman and hook up with a hot guy........maybe they could snack on her together?

Wheee, I'm horrible!

~Aku

[Garnet]

Holy crap, and I just keep adding more! :B I know where I'm going with this, I swear. Also, Nikoli turned out to be a whole lot more fucked up than I thought he was.

Crazy, angsty bastard.

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After several long moments of outpoured frustration, he pulled himself together with a wet snuffle, and touched the back of his hand beneath his eyes as well as making liberal use of the tissues that he would obviously have to replenish, next time. When the evidence of his tears had at last been cleared, he sat back and narrowed his eyes at the far bookcase for a moment.

Damnit, apparently his body was not done rebelling just yet. "Hih'TSCHuhh! Hehtissschuh! ....HEIH'scht!" He sneezed helplessly against the small wad of tissues already gathered in his fingertips. Cracking his aqua eyes open, he drew a breath, expectant of the tickle to have purged it self. "Hehh-hh...hh!" No such luck. "HehTISHHuu! Heh'TSCHHt!" Guh. He remained bent forward over the kleenex, staring hard at the floor now as if seeking an explanation for such misery. His eyes watered, and a strand of hair fell out of place along his cheek. Tremblingly, his upper lip curled back from faintly pointed canines as the final release was smothered as best he could manage. "Hn'MPHSHHuh!"

Groaning audibly, Nikoli fell back against his chair with a thick sniffle, not even bothering to pick his head up as he heard the door creak open tentatively. "Nikki?" He heard his receptionist inquire gently with her affectionate pet name for him. "You okay?"

"Fine, Mary," he grunted in response, but even the vibration of speech incited that devious prickling again. A few seconds of gasping struggle in attempt to stave it off were met with alarm by the woman, until the battle ended with a quick culmination and a violent " HUH'TISCHHUH! " A hoarse cough immediately followed, and he flattened a hand to his chest to ensure that he had not, in fact, sneezed out any organs in the process.

"Bless you!" The secretary exclaimed, eyeing him with a worried cinch to her brow.

Nikoli groaned a soft thank you, and gathered himself up, reaching for coat and files. It was suddenly all too warm and closed-off in this room, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and yet run a mile at the same time. Perhaps the ride home would settle his nerves and cool his temperament a little. "Finish the books for today and cancel any appointments for tomorrow, will you, Mary? I'm going home."

She blinked hesitantly, and started after him. "But what about those records that--.. " She stopped short as Nikoli turned to fix her with a hard glare, the gesture so unexpected and out of character that she found her breath catching in her throat. "...of course."

The psychiatrist nodded shortly and stifled a final strained "hh'mphhshh!" as he ducked out of the the office.

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The route back home found him in no better spirits, and by the time the key had turned in the key of his apartment, it took every last effort for Nikoli not to collapse on the floor right there, just inside the door. In lieu, he managed to drop coat and brief aside before staggering to the kitchen for a much-needed glass of water, vision blurring before him as he went until he was forced to stop and grasp the edge of the sink, gasping heavily for breath he hadn't known he'd needed. What the devil was wrong with him?

"Hh'tshhcht!" He sneezed harshly as he leaned over the sink, and even the convulsive effort of that explosion caused everything before his eyes to swim red, as though he were viewing the world through a glass of thin blood or wine.

And then he wasn't seeing the world before him at all, but a random rush of memories pounding into his brain. A phantom pain tingled at his arm. When he tore back his sleeve he could still see the warped flesh of fangmarks and stitches remaining from where he'd been bitten. That night had been long and dark and cold and miserable, his subconscious reminded him now, fraught with wrenching pain and a terrible, almost unbearable hunger as he had laid in the snowdrift for hours, blood slowly seeping from his body. Waiting for someone to locate him. Realizing they wouldn't. Heaving himself to his feet and dragging himself back towards the encampment, leaving tracks in his wake first human, and then not.

He'd been on an expedition with several anthropologists and other specialists in the northernmost sectors of Russia several years ago, Nikoli recalled now as he sank to the kitchen floor and laid there with chest heaving. Having majored in both psychology and anthropology through college, the opportunity to accompany a field study of some of the indigenous people of Siberia had been one eagerly pounced upon as a good starting point for any career path he chose. The trek had been long and arduous and the living conditions almost entirely inhospitable, but the cultural understanding they'd gleaned from the local tribes had made it well worth while, from their everyday routine of life to their more obscure legends and folklore.

Werewolves, he'd remembered, had been among some of the more surprising mythos that they'd been able to connect with similar fables from cultures even halfway around the world. Up in the north, they were one of the many beasts spoken about sparingly, but always with an solemnity that indicated the expeditioners would do well to heed the warnings to stay near the camp at night. Bears, it was implied, were not the only things to worry about.

As Nikoli stared up at his kitchen ceiling without really seeing it, he strained and squinted in an attempt to recall just why it was he hadn't heeded those cautions, anyway. He distinctly remembered a rather drunken night in the tent with his boyfriend of the time, and the blinding whiteness of a Siberian storm, and then the shape that had seem to materialize out of the snow itself, a confusion of motion and pain and screaming and flailing, and then the long night of laying limply out in the woods, half-frostbitten and on the verge of death.

When he'd somehow managed to drag himself back at last to the light of the camp that seemed as though it would never grow closer, it was declared a miracle by his peers that he'd at all survived what was classified as a wild animal attack and a severe case of frostbite, much less with all of his limbs attached.

Too bad he hadn't realized at the time, Nikoli thought bitterly to himself now, that the mark of that attack had gone much deeper than the scars on his arm and side could proclaim. No, that revelation had come some time later, in the company of Anita, a flame of his from college that he'd rejoined with after his brief stint of anthropology was over and he'd gotten his degree as a psychiatrist. God, but he'd loved her so deeply and passionately that it hurt, at times, winding the knot between them ever tighter until it seemed that they were nearly inseparable.

And then his moods had begun to change, health taking random leaps sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, until the signs of his shifting attitudes had begun to show up at work, and effect his performance. When the transformation first came upon him in full, finally, Anita had been there to nurse him through whatever mysterious illness had gripped her lifemate.

He recalled very little of that night itself, except awaking the next morning to the sickening horror of their shared apartment in shambles, in pieces, and the remains of her body strewn throughout every room. Without any plausible way to explain such an incident to the police, he'd spent hours sobbing and rocking in the bloodsoaked sheets before meticulously cleaning up every last drop of the mess himself, righting every piece of furniture and disposing of the remains. Anita was written off as a missing person case, and Nikoli had packed up his life and moved to America eight months later.

He'd learned to control the beast little by little in the years since then, dragging himself through each new day with a psyche that was slow to heal, but a somberness that faded slowly, slowly as the months went by. He'd had a few more random flings, some lived through the experience, others did not, but none had been like Anita, and none ever would. He was lucky enough, now, to have a tentative handle on his other half, such to the point where the only really uncontrollable outbursts came with the rise of the full moon and, unlike common legend proclaimed, periods of intense emotion. At least now, he could allow himself to be angry without also feeling his nails turn clawlike and tear apart any unfortunate thing that happened to come into his path, but certain former pleasures were, unfortunately, still somewhat grey areas in this respect. Like sex. And alcohol.

He had no doubt that his sanity was not fully with him any more by any stretch of the imagination, but months and months of moping and depression were slowly being turned around by his taking up of a new project as of late, focused towards the study of lycanthropy through countless cultures. The causes, the conditions, and most importantly, the cures. It was a long shot, but there was a nearly endless supply of lore on the subject, and God knew that he wouldn't have even believed the condition itself to be true were he not suffering through it himself. The glimmer of hope was dim, but it was there.

Laying there on the floor, Nikoli felt his nausea and headache pass slowly. He sneezed again, and climbed shakily to his feet to pour that glass of water that he'd been after in the first place. When his parched thirst was slaked, he set the glass down again with a clink and a groaning sigh. Research, yes. That was what he would do. He would take it easy for the rest of the day and wade back into his tomes slowly, to keep himself distracted from his apparently failing health.

This was the last thing he needed, truly, and even having lived by himself for quite some time now, well-accustomed to the feeling of loneliness, he half-longed for another person to be there to sympathize with his misery.

"Heh'TSSCHuh!" Ugh. Or maybe just to pass him a tissue, when it was required.

He dug the little scrap of paper from his pocket with Sylvia's number scribbled eagerly upon it, and looked at it thoughtfully for a few moments, before setting it on the counter. Maybe later, if he was feeling better. Maybe.

"Huh--!" He felt himself draw in a desperate breath half a second later. "Hht'TSCHmmph!" Muffled cleanly into the crook of his arm once more. To hell with this. Finding his balance steadied once more, Nikoli headed for his study, snatching a blanket to drape about his shoulders and a box of tissues on the way.

TBC.... > !!

[vote_for_pedro]

Yep. I love Nikoli.

Garnet, this is awesome!

[tma]

Ok... now I just want someone to be there to cuddle him.

I am Sooooo loving this. And seeing the background slowly unfold. This is beautiful.

[Geist]

AAAAAAAANNNNNNGGGGGSSSSSSSST!!!!!

*drinks with ladel*

Hehehehe..........werewolf. He can give me lycanthropy any day.

~Akutenshi

[Guest Thera]

This is wonderful! I love it! I can't wait for the next part!