An SF ghost story

[Pilgrim]

Once there was a shy teenage boy named who went by the name of Charlie. Charlie loved to hear girls sneeze. He loved it so much, in fact, that he wished that he could listen to them sneeze for the rest of his life. No, even longer than that. He wanted to hear the glorious music for all eternity. One day while he was in his bedroom, a man appeared before him. The man told Charlie that he could make his wish come true, but there would be a price to pay. Charlie told him he didn’t care what the price was, he would do anything.

The next day Charlie was found dead in the middle of his bedroom. The cause of his death appeared to be a heart attack. His parents were both so grief-stricken that they could never enter the house again. Which was ironic, because Charlie could never leave.

Yes, the poor fool had become a ghost, doomed to forever haunt the house in the woods. But he was not alone. Someone would often come to the house on a dare from a friend, or on a shortcut, or to see if the property was worth buying. You can be sure that if they were female, Charlie let them have it. He had gone over a hundred ways to make girls sneeze in his head, and he now acted out every one of his fantasies.

Our story begins on one Halloween night when Charlie would get more than he had ever bargained for…

“Hey, wait up Molly!”

Rebecca called out to her best friend. The young Irish girl turned and grinned. She had just recently turned 17, had long red-hair, green eyes, and some freckles around her nose, which was small and round. She was wearing a gray sweater with a green diamond pattern over a yellow T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. Rebecca was older than Molly by about three months, had blonde hair which she tied in a ponytail, blue eyes, and a much sharper nose than her friend, but it wouldn’t be described as pointed. She wore a pink sweater over a blue T-shirt and jeans.

The two were on their way to an old house not far into the woods. This house was supposedly haunted, and so it would normally be odd for the two girls to be on their way there, but these two were on a mission. After months of feuding with the “popular crowd” of their high school they had finally received a dare from their main rival, Ashley. If they would spend three hours of Halloween night in the old and spooky house, they would surrender and do whatever inane task the two asked of them. Molly and Rebecca eagerly accepted the deal, and were already taking their first steps into the house.

“Hellooooooo? Anyone home?”

“You know there’s not, Rebecca.”

“Yeah, I know. Wow, this place is dusty. It’s making my nose feel kinda tickly…Eh hehhhh…hehhhhhh…Ehhh-ISSHOO! EHSSHOO!!! Heh-Eh-SHOO! ”

“Bless you. I guess we better breathe through our mouths, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Come on, let’s check this place out. Oh, and start the video camera.”

Ashley had insisted on the three hours being recorder. As Molly began to fiddle with it, Rebecca saw something move in a room off to the left of the main corridor they stood in.

“Hey, let’s go in there. I think I saw something.”

The two girls walked into the room, which was apparently the kitchen. When neither of the girls saw anything that looked like it might be capable of movement on it’s own, Molly walked over to a row of cupboards and began to open them.

“Nothing but cobwebs and dust…Ohh!!!”

As Molly opened the last cupboard, an old-time, large wooden pepper shaker fell on her head. For some inexplicable reason (Okay, it was Charlie. But they don’t know that) the lid was loose enough to fly off before the shaker hit her head. Molly reflexively swatted it away, sending pepper flying in all directions.

“Ack!! Wha-HHAAAARRSSCCH!!! RRAAHHSH-SHHH!! HEH-SSHCHH-ESCHHH HEH-SCHEEW!!! HAAHHSSHH!!! HAAHHH-CCSSHH!!!”

Molly was soon joined in her sneezing fit by Rebecca, whose less violent and higher pitched but equally wet sneezes nicely complemented her friend’s”

“ATCHHIII!!! HI-TCHHII!!! Heh-ITCHHIII!!! IISHHOO!!! Hah-ISSHOO! HI-CHHIII HEH-CHHIIIHII AH-CHEEWWEEE!!!”

“HEH-ESSCHHH!! We gotta…ahhhh…HAHH-SSCCHHH!!! Get out…of…HESSCHH!! Here!”

Rebecca nodded in agreement and the two friends fled from the room. But the damage had already been done; too much pepper had landed on them (our friendly ghost had seen to that) So the both of them tore off their sweaters an threw them onto a nearby table. Then they began to brush furiously at their hair. A few sneezes and four watery eyes later they had both regained control of their noses. It was just now that they heard footsteps outside. After sharing mischievous looks, they both dashed into a closet that was under the staircase. Both of them believed that Ashley had come to check on them, and they intended to burst out of the closet screaming as soon as she got close enough. However, their visitor was not Ashley, but someone much more ominous.

Perhaps now would be a good time to explain that there was another soulless being that haunted the woods of this old house. However, this wretch was the opposite of Charlie in every possible way save that he had also made a deal with the Devil. You see, while sneezes were musical to the ears of Charlie, they were horrid to those of our new character. And so, he had made a deal that would allow him to roam the woods in search of what he thought to be disgusting, germ-spreading individuals so that he may, erm, silence them, if you get my meaning. Now don’t fear for the lives of our heroines just yet, because this twisted individual thought it appropriate to announce his arrival.

“RAHHHHHGGGGGG!!!! DISGUSTING!!!! KILL!!!!”

Rebecca and Molly immediately abandoned their plan of launching a surprise attack and decided that keeping absolutely silent was the best course of action. Unfortunately for them, Charlie had decided that now would be the a good time to play the “Sneeze Game”, where you see how long someone can hold a sneeze in under pressure. For the record, he has no idea that he’s now sharing his house with a serial killer.

Rebecca was the first to feel the combination of dust and mold molecules begin to slowly waft up her nose. She quickly pinched her nose shut and motioned for Molly to do the same. Rebecca could stifle her sneezes if worse came to worse, but Molly’s were far to loud to be contained enough to go unnoticed. Molly brought her hands up to her nose, and accidentally brought a cloud of dust up with them.

Immediately she felt an intense tickle build up in her nose, and she turned to Rebecca with watery eyes. Both girls stared intently at each other with the same expression of fear. Molly focused all her willpower on suppressing the sneezes that were mounting inside her nose, but she knew she wouldn’t hold out for long. The pepper from earlier had made her too sensitive; her nose burned with increasing intensity. As the girls listened to footsteps pass overhead, Molly squeezed her nose as tight as she could, praying for a miracle. She didn’t get one.

“Escshhhk!”

The one sneeze was loud enough to make the footsteps stop, and begin back down the stairs. It was also all that was needed to start a fit that was far beyond holding back.

“HAHHH-RRARRSHHH!! HA-ESCHH HA-ESCHHH! ESCHHOO! Har-ESCHHOO!”

Now, it was right about here when Charlie realized that there was a very large man with an axe heading straight for his prey. It only took a second for Charlie to react. It would have been five for the beast to get to the girls.

Zzzzriitttttt!!!!*

The two girls slowly exited the closet, looking around for any sign of the being that had come so close to mauling them. There was nothing. The two returned home with the greatest Halloween story ever told in their town. And Charlie? He disappeared, never to be seen again until an author decided he needed a ghost with a sneeze fetish. Then he was brought back. But that’s another story for another time ::

Happy Halloween!

*Zzzzzriitttttt: the sound of a rift opening in the space-time continuum, caused by two exact opposites colliding with each other.

[And Beat Him When He Sneezes]

I appreciated that one, it was fun.

[Dawnie]

Very good story. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.

[Guest Maiden of Fire]

He he! Very fun! I like it!

[Blah!?]

Nice... I'm gladly awaiting the rest of your other fic...

[mysterysneeze]

This story is very entertaining to read :D. I love the fact that you created a scenario like this Pilgrim! Those poor girls *evillaugh*. At least Charlie was good and not a bad kid. He saved the day...the day that he himself caused, but that doesn't change the fact he's a hero XD. Very good story!