[FIC] "Killing Time" - (m)

[Garnet]

Bleh, okay so maybe it's a bit too long to constitute drabble. Anyway, Kisa and I take guilty, obsessive pleasure in the anime "One Piece", which is long and silly and has terrible animation but is so damned addictive. I guess you don't really have to have seen it to follow what's going on here. The characters involved are both members of an underground criminal organization. Crocodile, the boss-figure, is a psycho-powerful pirate who controls sand, annnd Nico Robin/Miss All-Sunday is his Vice President, who can sprout body parts from virtually any surface.

Look, I never said the anime made sense. Anywho...there ya go. Attached should be a little doodle to go along with it.

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Nico Robin was accustomed to most of the usual sounds and rhythms of her employer’s dark, expansive subterranean office. What little light was permitted into the room came indirectly through the massively domed tanks that formed most of the walls, emitting their eerie auras of blue light onto the polished wood floors and furniture. Occasionally, like a dark, passing specter, a shadow would glide in lazy ripples over everything as within the tanks, one of those monstrous hybrid crocodile beasts drifted by. Their muffled, ghostly groans and rumbles as they swam were nearly as hypnotic as the slow and methodical tick of a clock somewhere across the room, swallowed up in the darkness. That, and the occasional rustle of a newspaper or wanted poster to her left, where an entirely different manner of Crocodile sat at his desk, faintly illuminated by a small lamp that was the only other source of light. She hadn’t any idea why he preferred it so dim in there, as he seemed equally comfortable standing out in the middle of the bright, burning desert outside, but Robin had learned some time ago not to question her boss’s motives for such frivolous things.

All of this didn’t change the fact that her boredom was bordering on excruciating. While Crocodile perused through periodicals in search of things she neither knew nor cared about, Robin was scheduled to meet with several of the agents at high noon, and the time she had to kill before then was beginning to wear down her nerves. A discreet, deliberating glance at her watch confirmed her plight. Twenty minutes. Sigh.

The flash and dazzle of the casino overhead that operated as their cover-up had long since lost its appeal of lights and sounds for her, as had the crowded markets of the streets beyond. In truth, the cool, dark quiet of Crocodile’s office was quite soothing. It allowed her time to focus, time to think. But occasionally, even the stoic Miss All-Sunday required some distraction, just for a little while.

Lazily, Robin slid her eyes away from perusing the crocodiles in the tank to surveying the one at the desk a short distance away. Different species perhaps, she mused, but Crocodile’s name had been given rather aptly. His hunting methods were not the same, his predatory nature was. He was built quite large, much taller than even her long and lean frame, and broad across the chest in a manner that his array of suits only accentuated. She supposed he was handsome enough, although “intimidating” might have been a more appropriate word to use, had she not known him for so long. The man’s brow was severe, wrinkled in thought and wide mouth grimly set as he mulled over the newsprint before him. Dark hair, neatly slicked back, and a scar that ran longitudinally over the arches of both cheeks and the bridge of his remarkably straight nose. Yes, altogether not a bad specimen, were she the least bit interested in him.

But she wasn’t, and so he too was boring. With a soft, mental snort she looked away, back to the animals beyond the glass. That was, at least, until an unusual sound intruded upon the familiar repose of the office. Crocodile sniffed.

Attention arrested, Nico Robin’s gaze reeled back towards the Shichibukai member off to her side, who was now absent-mindedly lifting his own eyes from the paper and squinting off into the darkness directly ahead of him. Now what in the hell…?

Without much warning, Crocodile drew a sudden, deep breath, teeth clicking together and eyes squeezing shut as he bent forward with a sneeze. “Hehhh’ESSHuh!”

A swift, aggressive sound. Impressive volume, but not terrifyingly so, and rather dry, Robin thought to herself with an unvoiced purr as she watched his expression crinkle just slightly again, in preparation for another. Oh my…

“Heh’ESSHT!” Again, quite clean and yet deliciously harsh. Good lord, she chuckled to herself as Crocodile drew breath for another, eyes squinting shut. He still had to sneeze? “Heh—Nxxht!” Ah, pity. He’d suppressed that one against a hastily raised knuckle.

The third seemed to satisfy him, and with annoyed but dismissive little sigh, he returned to his reading. Robin’s interest, however, was piqued, and she could not resist commenting.

“Bless you, sir.”

Flashing his eyes up sharply, as though he’d almost forgotten she was standing there, Crocodile fixed her with a cautioning little glare and a single, dry sniff.

Robin smiled thinly when his focus had left her once more. Even having worked with her employer for close to four years now, she could not recall ever witnessing him succumb to any such perfectly normal human act. That would, of course, imply that Crocodile was human, and sometimes even she doubted this. The man was all cool, calculating indifference. He was aloof, he was brooding, he was perceptive, but he did not sneeze.

Until now, apparently. She could see that brief, niggling irritation tug at his broad, scarred features again, flinching the bridge of his nose into a splitsecond wrinkle that he could not help, and parting his lips for a quick inhale. “Hh’eht-shhhuh!” Better and better, his attempts to suppress them were failing quite marvelously. “Hh’shhht!”

“And again, sir,” Robin put in as Crocodile was lowering his hand. She didn’t so much as twitch when he darted another peevish look in her general direction, merely smiled slowly, with just a touch of saccharine. “Are you alright?”

Crocodile clenched his teeth a little, clearly unamused by her inquiry. “I’m fine,” he reported, and returned his eyes to the paper, making it quite clear that that was to be the end of this discussion altogether.

Except that Robin could still watch with slit-eyed, feline amusement as the pirate sniffed again, gently, and touched the back of his hook to his nose, where the metal was smooth and curved. Ah, she almost forgot about that impressive bit of weaponry sometimes, until it would randomly flash into view from beneath his coats. Robin was not entirely sure when or where or how he’d lost that hand, but the array of uses he had for its replacement never ceased to amuse and amaze her. Rubbing away a bothersome tickle, apparently, was not an area in which he was limited.

Far too entertained now to be checking her watch every few seconds, the archaeologist merely looked on with apparent impassivity as Crocodile managed to get through another few moments of reading before the urge returned to him again. She hadn’t the foggiest idea what was bothering him, and frankly didn’t care so long as he kept on letting his breath hitch like that, furrowing his brow in such a desperately concerned expression and letting his upper lip curl back from his teeth in a fair approximation of his usual sneer.

“Heht’SHHH!”

Robin closed her eyes, drinking in the sound of his shaking inhales like a finely aged wine. Savoring the moment now was a wise decision, for she was certain that such an entertaining, temporary malady would not soon strike her employer again. For the time being, however, he seemed decidedly helpless to the whims of his sinuses.

“Eh’ESSHHuhh!”

“Bless you,” she crooned again, when he paused, visibly frustrated now, to lay the paper down and knuckle at the tip of his nose with his remaining hand. Sniff! Clucking her tongue and thinning her eyes, she continued, “If I may say so, I don’t think I’ve heard you sneeze quite so much before, sir.” If ever, she added mentally.

Crocodile glared, his veneer of calm, collected evil slipping now. It was visible in the strands of his usually meticulously smoothed hair that had fallen free and now trailed over his brow, and in the muscle that worked in his jaw as he fought the evident urge to bury his hook in her chest. “Dust,” he growled out instead, sniffing again and daring her to comment as he absent-mindedly rubbed at the scar sliced over the bridge of his nose.

Robin smiled prettily as ever, taking up his abandoned indifference for her own as she wandered a few steps closer, the click of her boot heels lazily punctuating her movements. “Is that so? What a pity, I’ll have the cleaning staff pay closer attention next time. I didn’t imagine it would bother you.” The place was spotless already, of course, but she would humor him in her sarcastic little manner, being as he had not yet snarled at her to get out. Ah, but it was a fine line she walked. Crocodile was an exceedingly, almost unsettlingly patient man in some aspects, and yet entirely terrifying when his temper was incited.

“I control sand, not dust,” he reminded her dryly. “That’s only a side-effect.”

“Of course, sir.”

Still, she would allow herself a little fun. As his nostrils arched with another fierce little sniff, congestion beginning to creep into the sound, she smirked thinly and stretched out her powers. The momentarily startled expression that touched Crocodile’s features was sick satisfaction, as a delicate hand all at once sprouted from the desk in front of him, daintily bent at the wrist and offering a small white square of material towards the esteemed pirate.

She could almost hear his teeth grind as he stared at the handkerchief for a moment, withdrawn from the inside of her coat, and caught a little glance at her from the corner of his eye. Robin schooled her mien into one of complete nonchalance, blinking back at him calmly. He scowled, and snatched up the offering with undisguised displeasure, but forced out a little, guttural rumble of gratitude anyway.

“Certainly, Crocodile-san,” she purred, observing coolly as the now-flustered pirate bunched the material of the handkerchief and dabbed it lightly beneath his nose, unwilling to clear his sinuses in full while she was in the room. It could have been worse, Robin speculated. She could have offered him her pink one.

A glance at her wrist affirmed that she had successfully frittered away a good ten or fifteen minutes in watching her employer attempt to rid himself of whatever was itching him. And with little apparent success, especially as his chest began to rise and fall irregularly once more, signaling the return of his ire.

“Hihhh…” He breathed out, eyes actually beginning to water a little now, as she observed in a glint of light from the tanks. Curious, his powers usually kept him ostensibly devoid of moisture, evident in even the dry, dusty sound of his explosive sneezes. She supposed that even his abilities had to weaken in the face of a dauntless tickle, however.

“Hehh’Nggxht!” He got out harshly, strangling the sound in his throat and against the side of his hand in some last effort to contain it. His success was limited, the breakwater crumbling slowly before the flood of his irritated convulsions. “Hehtt’nnkkt! Hih’ngght!”

Quite the fit this time. Robin nearly shivered.

“Hh’xsshht! Hh’ESHHT!” There was one more lingering, they both knew it as he bent over the desk, chest heaving and eyes squinting past the further locks of hair that were now falling rather fetchingly before his gaze. All at once, his brow crumpled and he sat back with a final trembling inhale. “Heht…heh... Heh’EESHHHhhuh!!”

The sound echoed throughout the darkened room, emphasized all the more by the heavy silence that followed in its wake, unbroken by neither a sniff nor a stifled giggle. Wisely, Robin allowed him a good long moment to recover before she dared to speak, letting him shuffle the handkerchief over and gather its folds against his nose to actually receive a short, soft exhalation. She bit her lip, and resisted the urge to reach out and smooth one of those errant strands of hair back into place, for they were certainly close enough now. But Nico Robin was not a foolish woman, and although she may have inadvertently brushed against him once or twice, touching the Shichibukai unbidden was simply asking for death.

She could, however, comment verbally. “God bless you, Crocodile-san.” A pause. “You know, if you’re catching cold, I can hold off the rest of your engagements for today.”

That did it. Lowering the handkerchief and letting the hook of the opposite hand bury itself half an inch into the wood of the desk, the pirate matched her gaze with barely contained fury. “Even if I were,” he began in that deeply resonant, rumbling voice, “It is of no concern to you.” He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you have somewhere to be, Miss All-Sunday?”

“Ah,” she murmured, backing off and bowing slightly, but unable to hide the slight smile that lingered upon her lips. “You are correct, I do.” She hesitated, but could not resist adding just before she slipped away into the shadows, “Feel better, sir.”

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[Aljana]

Absolutely Irresistable! I love her cautious baiting of him. And he was adorable!!!! Pirates are the coolest, and I love guys who insist that nothing is the matter.

Aljana

[Neesan]

WHY YOU MAKE ME LOVE HIM SO!?!? XD

It's the coat, I swear. :3 I will fangirl on you again over this HUGE bit of amazingly written wrong. *loves on like crazy* And GAH that picture makes me SO STUPID! He's so twitchy!

I wonder if Kuro would induce him? I mean - WHAT?!

[Garnet]

WHY YOU MAKE ME LOVE HIM SO!?!? XD

It's the coat, I swear. :3 I will fangirl on you again over this HUGE bit of amazingly written wrong. *loves on like crazy* And GAH that picture makes me SO STUPID! He's so twitchy!

I wonder if Kuro would induce him? I mean - WHAT?!

BECAUSE HE IS YOUR PIMP DADDY.

And dude, Kuro would totally induce him, or vice versa 8) They're pirates, they can do whatever the hell they want!

[Geist]

*SNICKERS!!*

Dude, that was hysterically hot, okay? HAHAHA, I like this woman. She's my kind of bitch.

I love her attitude....and how she handed him the Handkerchief of DOOM all LA LA LA, here! *CACKLES*

Scar across the nose had nothing to do with it . . . *shifty*

~Akubaka

[Neesan]

BECAUSE HE IS YOUR PIMP DADDY.

And dude, Kuro would totally induce him, or vice versa 8) They're pirates, they can do whatever the hell they want!

It's so TRUE! ;___; LMAO!

OHHH HOO! Yes, they would. Sailing about causing fun time for boredom. THE CRACK! Who cares, they are hot. XD OH! I bet Croc would hold Kuro down to induce him with cuffs o' sand. MWAHA... Damnit, that's hot. XD (Wait, it's not crack! They are SHWHFAEGA love! XD And Arlong can't join! D:)

[Chate Noire]

Nngh...wtf, sneezy pirate captain? That's like taking all the good in the world and molding it into one sinfully hot Crocodile. I love the stoic ones when they lose it, ooooh yesss...that last powerful one was GOOoood.

His vice is a pretty funky chick herself. Is there a reason she's called All-Sunday, or is it just one of many bizarre names Anime characters tend to have?

Incidentally, could we have MORE of that?... *pleading smile*

[Garnet]

BECAUSE HE IS YOUR PIMP DADDY.

And dude, Kuro would totally induce him, or vice versa 8) They're pirates, they can do whatever the hell they want!

It's so TRUE! ;___; LMAO!

OHHH HOO! Yes, they would. Sailing about causing fun time for boredom. THE CRACK! Who cares, they are hot. XD OH! I bet Croc would hold Kuro down to induce him with cuffs o' sand. MWAHA... Damnit, that's hot. XD (Wait, it's not crack! They are SHWHFAEGA love! XD And Arlong can't join! D:)

Oh lord, it's true! And dude, that idea is...hhhot and may need to be written. Not that we don't have like half a dozen other things requiring completion XD Ohwell!

[Garnet]

Nngh...wtf, sneezy pirate captain? That's like taking all the good in the world and molding it into one sinfully hot Crocodile. I love the stoic ones when they lose it, ooooh yesss...that last powerful one was GOOoood.

His vice is a pretty funky chick herself. Is there a reason she's called All-Sunday, or is it just one of many bizarre names Anime characters tend to have?

Incidentally, could we have MORE of that?... *pleading smile*

Eeeeee, so insanely glad you liked it! :DD And I don't really know why Robin is All-Sunday, but all of the agents have similar codenames, with the males being named after numbers (Mr. 2, Mr. 4, etc.) and the females being named after days/weeks/calendar type things (Ms. Wednesday, Ms. Goldenweek). Crocodile's codename is technically Mr. 0 since he's head honcho. So yeah, basically "Bizarre Anime Name Trends".

Man, I love the stoic characters too 8) And Croc is so stoic and unimpressed all the damned time. Hee, I'll see if I can make him cooperate for some future scribblings

[Neesan]

Oh lord, it's true! And dude, that idea is...hhhot and may need to be written. Not that we don't have like half a dozen other things requiring completion XD Ohwell!

*looks about with guilty look* Now WHOSE fault is that?! >_>! I fail. XD But damnit, they will be done.

OMG I think that so needs writen. *nodnod* xD Mwaha.

[Aljana]

*snickers* Heehee!

"It could have been worse, Robin speculated. She could have offered him her pink one."

OMG LMFAO!!! I think I just died laughing!

I agree! That was totally my favorite line!!! Brilliant!!!

Aljana

[Geist]

So much wrongness could ensue.

Can I just say how much it TOTALLY amuses me that half the people on this forum use my RETARDED language?

But yes, MUCH WRONGNESS needs to ensue!

*goes away now*

~Akutenshi

[Neesan]

It was more combined I thought, but ok. XDDD

[Sneesee]

This was so incredibly hot! So glad I finally had the time to read it! Yummy, thanks! I love her attitude towards him the whole time, friggin' awesome! I do not watch any of these shows, however, I do enjoy these stories. And I think that the storytelling gives me a good idea of what these shows are like, so great job! Plus, Garnet, your artwork is seriously amazing! Thanks! I certainly hope there is more! (Please?)

[Geist]

It was more combined I thought, but ok. XDDD

*pops on the head and gasps* KOI! Woman, you are the wrongest of the wrong!!!

Awww, I didn't mean it like THAT! Everyone here knows "The Language of Wrong" is Copyright (can't make the symbol!) Kisa AND me (and Garnet has added a lot, too!).

Of course it's not "my" language.....I was just talking like when I say English is "my" language. It's not really "mine." SILLY PIE!

IT IS THE LANGUAGE OF THE PEOPLE......created by us Yes.

*END OF THREADJACK*

But hey, the story's back at the top so whoo!

[whymilk]

mmm i dont like one piece but that was HOT!!! WOOOOOT!!

thanks for posting