Your ideal sneeze fic?

[desade]

My ideal story would have

- sneezing from illness

- fever, watery eyes, headache, pain

- weakness/vulnerability

- vivid description of mucous

- the person who is ill trying not to sneeze but not having much luck

- failed stifles

- spelled-out wet sneezes

- a desperately horny man who wants sex in spite of his or his lover's illness

Despite all this, contagion is a big turn-off for me, especially characters who willfully infect others. I also don't like when female characters are turned on by male sneezes.

[OCC]

I really enjoy allergy fics, especially when the allergen is an animal, becuase then the source of the sneezing may not be clear. I also need the sneezes to be spelled out, even if it's just a simple achoo. My favorite character to see sneezing is currently enjolras from les mis, so far I've seen one fic and one fanart and it is the hottest thing.