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Can anyone please point me in the direction of an old story about alice in wonderland? It was absolutely fantastic, it involved a princess in denial with her very sexy hayfever, as was the rest of the wonderland, and really sexy allergic sneezes from Alice too... and her sister, in the end. Funny thing, I donĀ“t remembre if the girl was actually called Alice in the story... but I remember her sneezes. Well, would anyone help moi? Please?


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Hmm, I have no idea what you're talking about but it sounds very interesting. I just hope someone who DOES know can find this for us.

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If it's not too much trouble, could someone post that story from the group in here somewhere? Due to Yahoo's crappy group system, I can't join.

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If it's not too much trouble, could someone post that story from the group in here somewhere? Due to Yahoo's crappy group system, I can't join.

"C'mon Alicia were leaving!"

(Alicia took time to grab a Kleenex and raced after her sister.

She'd been sneezing all morning and couldn't understand why her

sister had decided to have a picnic in Mid-summer. Alicia had

terrible hayfever and this was her worst season!)

"I'b cubbig!!" (she responded as she succumbed to another

sneeze) "heeeetttchhoooooo!!!".

"Hurry Alicia, we have a long way to go!"

(Alicia hurried to catch up, tissue in hand she sneezed every few

seconds, unable to control the tickle that inhabited her nose.

They walked through the countryside until her sister found a

nice spot amongst the grass and trees and she spread the blanket.

The area was beautiful, if you weren't an allergy sufferer! Alicia

moaned and they sat down. She sneezed frequently as they ate and

finally her sister had had enough.)

"Here, take these" (Her sister produced 2 pills which Alicia

took. After a while Alicia felt better but sleepy. She soon laid

down in the grass and fallen asleep.

When she awakened, she noticed a small rabbit racing through

the grass. She was surprised to hear the rabbit speak!)

Rabbit: "I'm late, Oh dear, so Late!!

(Alicia followed the rabbit through the grass to see where he was

headed. As she turned a corner, she saw the rabbit disappear into a

hole. She decided to see where he was going and followed.)

Alicia: "Where are you going?, wait... aaaaahhhhh!!!!

(Alicia found herself falling, She had no idea where, but she fell

until she hit the ground with a painful splat!!

Alicia: "Ouch!!!, where am I?" (She examined her surroundings

and found herself in a small room with a single table and chair, a

bureau and mirror).

Alicia: "What place is this? I wonder where that rabbit went?"

(Seeing no way out, she looked at the furniture before her. She

opened the bureau and saw an amazing sight, the rabbit and a whole

group of people talking before her. She had to find out who these

people were, but she was way too big enter the bureau. She looked

atop the table and saw a vial which said "Smell Me!" Alicia lifted

the vial to her nose and took a sniff...

Alicia: "Ohhh!! It tickles!! He-hee-heeeectt-chooooo!!"

(Alicia's sneeze reverberated through the room. As she opened her

eyes, she realized she was now much bigger than the table! She

barely fits in the room and her head was against the roof! Suddenly,

the rabbit entered the room.

Rabbit: "So Late!!" (She places a freshly gathered bouquet of

flowers on the table. As she spies Alicia, she is alarmed!)

Rabbit: "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Monster!!!! Monster!!!!!"

(She races from the room in terror! Meanwhile Alicia is distraught

over her conundrum and trying to get out.

Alicia: There must be a way out of here!

(As she moves her leg she bumps up against the bouquet of flowers on

the table with her leg. This causes a puff of pollen to emit from

the fresh flowers and an ill timed breath causes Alicia to inhale a

large quantity of pollen!!

Alicia: Ohh No!!, Not now!! (Alicia has to sneeze! She struggles

against the irritation, but the pollen is to much!) he-

heeeeeeeeeeeaccchhooooooo!!!!!! het-chhoooo!!!!" (Alicia sneezes

uncontrollably!!! The house explodes as Alicia lets loose with her

allergic sneezes! Hetchoo!! Hetchooo!! Heeeeettttt-

chhhooooooo!!!!!!!! After the fit Alicia is free, but the rabbit is


Rabbit: "My poor house, where will I live! You monster! You

destroyed my home!!"

Alicia: (sniffle) I'm so sorry!! I didn't mean to. (Th pollen is

still affecting her nose and her eyes are watering. The tears from

her eyes have begun to flood the area.)

Rabbit: "Stop crying! You'll drown me!!!"

Alicia: " I can't help it!! What will we do!!!"

Rabbit: "Quick smell these! (She holds up another bouquet of

different flowers)

Alicia: "Nooooo!!! they tickle!! (her nose itches intensely and

she knows she's going to sneeze!!!) "hhhheeeeeee-heeeeee-

eeeechhooooo!!!!!!!!!" hetchhooooo!!! hetchoooo!!!......"

(After what seems like an eternity of sneezes, Alicia recovers and

finds herself at a size proportional to the rabbit's. Unfortunately

she is now drowning in her own tears!)

Alicia: "what will we do?"

(Suddenly, a boat appears)

"Quick, grab on!" ( A voice come from the boat! Alicia reaches up

and is grabbed by the occupant of the boat.)

"We got her just in time!"

"Yup, They would have drowned for sure!" (another voice responds)

Alicia: "Thank you!!! Is the Rabbit OK?"

Rabbit: "It's April, April Bunny and yes I'm fine! My dear, you

must learn to control your sneezes! You nearly got us all killed!"

Tweedledee: Name's Tweedledee,

That's right, you gotta control yourself or consequences will

result, don't you have some protection?"

Alicia: "I usually take pills for it, but I forgot them. Is there

a place I can get them here?".

April: "Here, you must be joking, there are no allergies here."

Alicia: "Then why am I sneezing?"

April: "My dear I assure you that any sneezes you may have here

are purely of your own making! Our land is pure and good. Allergies

are not tolerated!"

Alicia: "Why would I want to sneeze! I hate sneezing all the


April: "I have no idea. Besides, I'm late and I can't waste

anymore time on such trivial matters! Goodbye!!"

(Now on dry land, April bunny scurries away leaving Alicia on the


Alicia: "Where are you going? wait!!!"

tweed: "Mind what we said young lady, or consequences will


Alicia: "Whatever! Just let me out of here! (Alicia jumps out of

the boat and heads in the direction of April Bunny. Alicia walks

through a wooded area and into a grassy field. Suddenly, she

realizes she is in the worst place she can possibly be, the grass is

full of blossoms that are ripe with pollen. Alicia starts to feel

the tickles...)

Alicia: "Oh no! Not again!!" (the tickles are intense and she

knows she's gotta sneeze!) Hee-hee-hetchooooooo!!! het-chooooo!!!

eee-eeeeaccchhhoooooo!!!...." (Alicia's sneezes reverberated through

the field. Every breath seemed to cause her nose to tickle more and

there seemed to be no end to the field of grass that was provoking

her allergic nose.)

Alicia: "Oh My!! hetchhoooooo!!! acchhoooooo!!! accchhooooo!!

achoooooo!! heeeee-tchhhOOOOOOO!!!!!....."

Voice: " Enough already!! Please cease that awful noise!!

(The voice is coming from a nearby tree, Alicia walks towards it

between sneezes)

Alicia: "heet-chooo!! hep-fewwwww!! achoooo!! Who's There?


(Alicia spies a caterpiller in the tree. He responds to her question)

Caterpiller: "My dear girl, can you please refrain from your

constant sternutation! I fear I have lost use of an eardrum!"

Alicia: (Ignoring the obvious question) I had no idea

caterpillers had eardrums. heetttchhoooooo!!!!! Besides, I can't

help it, I have hayfever!!"

Caterpiller: "Preposterous! That affliction is non-existent in

our world! At worst you have a Summer cold!!"

Alicia: "I can prove it's hayfever! If you would, please take

this piece of grass( she holds up a blossom from the field) Now

shake it under my nose!

(The caterpiller acceeds, shaking the blossom under Alicia's nose.

Alicia feels the pollen tickling it's way into her sinuses)

Alicia: Gneee-hezheee-eeeesssshhhoooo!!!!!!.... (sneeze after

irritated sneeze follow)Seee!!!

Caterpiller: "An impressive display my dear, but you have not

addressed the fundamental point in my argument. Hayfever does not

exist in our world. Therefore, I can only assume you have some nasal

irritation from a virus which results in your sternutory exhibition!

Please go now as you may be infectious."

(Alicia sighs, sneezes again and moves on)

Alicia: "(sniffle) Ridiculous insect! Last time I waste time

with a pontificating, butterfly wannabe!" (She continues into the

woods after April Bunny. As she walks she comes upon a small house.

Outside she encounters a guard).

Guard: What is your business? (Inside Alicia can hear a woman

sneezing and a lot of crashing)

Alicia: I'm looking for April Bunny! Have you seen her?

(inside: ...aaaaa-choooo!!! accchhhooooo!! achoooooo!!!...)

Oh my, Is everyone alright in there?"

Guard: "That is not your concern, nor mine! Please be gone, I

have not seen your "Bunny". We're very busy here!( more sneezing is

heard) We must make the princess ready to play croquet with the


Alicia: "Is that the princess I hear (sneezes reverberate

through the wall). She sounds ill!"

Guard: "Nonsense!!! now be gone young lady it is my lunchtime!!!"

(The guard suddenly walks away to eat his lunch, leaving Alicia at

the door. She can still hear the sound of a woman sneezing violently

inside and an occasional crash.)

Alicia: "I must find out what's going on in there."

(Alicia opens the door and enters. Inside she sees a large room with

a woman about 25 holding a blanket and a 30-something cook. The room

is filled with fragrant flowers.)

Alicia: "he-etttchhhoooooo!!!! aaaachoooooo!!! there are

certainly too many flowers in here! (She scans the room and sees the

woman holding a handkerchief to her nose and sneezing violently!!

The cook seems to throw a plate after each sneeze. In the corner she

spies a cat watching the whole ordeal. Alicia can feel herself

succumbing to the flowers and the cat certainly doesn't help.)

Alicia: "Gheee-eeeeechhoooooooo!!!

Princess: "Bless You!, AAacccchhhoooooo!!! accchhooooooo!!!!..."

Alicia: "You too, Do you have hayfever?"

Princess: "Preposterous!! achooo!! We do not have such things

here. Merely a slight nasal irritation!"

Alicia: "(nee-chhooo!!) Your highness, I believe you suffer from

hayfever as I do, why else these flowers cause such a reaction!"

Princess: "My dear girl, my sneezes have nothing to due with

these flowers. Flowers are beautiful, for the enjoyment of all."

Alicia: " But if you have hayfever, they make you sneeze!"

Princess: "We have always had flowers here, we have always

enjoyed them! I sneeze because of a Summer Cold." (Suddenly the

child in the blanket sneezes.) Stop it, stop it now aaa-aaa-


Alicia: "See, even your daughter is sensitive achooo!!! It's not

a cold, it's the pollen!!"

Princess: "I have no... eeeee-chhoooo!!! no... eeaaachhooooo!!

choo!!!! time to argue, I have to go play croquet with the queen.

Here aaaaachhhooooo!!! you take the child for awhile I must get

ready ..chooooo!!!"

Alicia: "Please your highness het-chooo!!! wait, there's too

much pollen eeecchhoooo!!! to play." (Alicia suddenly hears a snort

from the blanket) "Aww!! The hayfever has you too huh!" (She looks

as the child suddenly becomes a pig!!) "Well then, I guess we don't

have the pollen to blame for this!" The pig scurries away and Alicia

chases after the princess.

(End of Part 1)

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